Hexyflexy posted:

I remember that post specifically because about the time he wrote it a (now very very ex) mate of mine went into British army intelligence and pretty much overnight turned into one of those people.

quote:

I am the queen of France.
I have a question as a military dependent-to-be, I hope it's ok to ask in this thread as other information resources have not been clear. Fiance is a 2nd Lt in the USAF.

Here's our situation:
Fiance is finishing up intel school at Goodfellow AFB, graduating in May. He just received orders to Kadena AB in Okinawa. I am planning on staying here until my work contracts are done at the end of 2014 then joining him early 2015. In order for the USAF to foot the bill for me to join him later, when should we get married?

Some sources say before he leaves so I'm on his orders from the start.

Some say we should wait until he gets there so his orders will be amended and hope I get command sponsorship.

His current command says if we get married now they'll "for sure" pay for me to move later but we both agree that sounds like a lot of bullshit.

Thoughts?

quote:

Go ask the career development folks at the MPF. Also pimp the TMO folks and ask them.

The final answer comes from one of those two sources. And in the end you have a 50/50 chance of being told the wrong thing anyway.

But you asked for thoughts, and after smoking a bowl and contemplating things, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were USAF intel officers that I wouldn't line up outside the gas chambers if the fourth reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 28 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of fighter pilot gay bro'ness not by dudes that fly fighter jets, but other sperged out intel retard officers. He's going to start saying things like "Check, Rodge, Vector, Burner" and other associated lame as gently caress things, while also sometimes randomly wearing a flightsuit to work on Fridays despite his only flight time being the fam flight he poo poo his pants or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you. And there is a not too bad chance that it won't be with some good looking gal, but rather some dumb bitch enlisted intel girl that almost got a degree in psychology from her podunk state school before she decided she hated the taste of gargling frat sperm and dropped out and joined up to get a chance at being the hottest little twat in a windowless SCIF in Japan.

But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 3-4 kids he demands you squeeze out in repayment to the base model BMW 3 series he's going to buy you when he gets to his second assignment at Tinker AFB.

When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12, he'll be lording over you how his job and career come first, and pray he doesn't make more money than you because that'll come up everytime you sigh audibly at the dinner table where you two will passive aggressively try to grind down each others will to live and breathe.

By this point as a captain he's going to be TDY 1-2 months a year, where he's getting half assed hand jobs from third tier strippers on excursions with the least socially inept enlisted guys in his flight-- this is probably the point where his raging alcoholism will be so clear and obvious to you that you two will start fighting every saturday before kick off when his colleges football team inevitably will take a beating. This fight won't stop until his next TDY when the sweet release of his toothless stripper infidelities and lack of home presence gives you time to bust out your big giant purple *BZZZZZ* friend whenever those walking talking pants making GBS threads machines you call children fall asleep long enough to let you deaden the nerves in your clitoris.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, the one right before he pins on Major, and suddenly he'll be pressuring you into becoming a fundamentalist christian, and he'll delete all of his whores off of his facebook account and spend his home time posting image macros about 2nd amendment rights, and how jesus spoke english in the bible so these loving mexicans should too. At this point you two will be consigned to bi-annual loving, and only when you've drank enough cheap boxed wind to be able to stand the idea of him pounding away on you missionary style but still refusing to look you in the eyes.

This will also be the point when your oldest childs ADHD and pyromania are diagnosed, and one of your parents die. There is around a 85% chance one of you is going to be eating zoloft and klonopin out of loving pez dispensers, and waking up angry that the sweet release of death hasn't taken one of you out of this loveless hosed up marriage.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice drunken buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress almost chubby guys with spray on tans, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with all manner of different ethnicities of cock.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for HPV, and your intel officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from donating blood or sitting on a toilet seat.

You didn't get it from the Red Cross or a trip to the shitter.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an officers wives meeting which is a lovecraftian hell that makes my description of your future seem like Charlie's trip through the chocolate factory.

Icon Of Sin posted:

Answer:

PBJ posted:

I remember attempting to join the AF to try for Cyber/Intel like every sperg who had a few IT certs, but got denied a vision waiver (apparently the doc at MEPS said it was one of the worst vision scores she'd in 10 years). Recruiter said I could maaaaybe make it into the Army if they were generous or go for LASIK once I was older and reapply, but I said no thank you because I'm not a moron, and took my college debt like a normal person.

Okay thanks that's my "I tried to join the military" story!

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

facialimpediment posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1080858959404240896?s=19

https://twitter.com/BenjySarlin/status/1080859857635430401?s=19

facialimpediment posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1080858959404240896?s=19

https://twitter.com/BenjySarlin/status/1080859857635430401?s=19

mlmp08 posted:

I maintain that a very significant amount of the hate is driven by thirst.

Nuclear War posted:

I talked to recruiters from all three branches when I lived in the US (gently caress no I won't be a Marine), but Jesus gently caress the recruiters would lie their asses off to get me to continue the process. I was in the Army in my home country, ten years, did two combat deployments and got out at the equivalent of E6 or so, and recruiters would tell me I could join up at near to that rank since it was NATO and I still held NATO Top Secret back home (no, I definitely couldn't). Got warned off by people here before I got very far at all, actually, and now I'll never live in the US again so it's a moot point, but the way recruiters would lie to my face just to keep their numbers up was a bit of a shock to me.

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

And it will work.

psydude posted:

I had an Army recruiter try to get me to drop out of ROTC (for which I had a full scholarship) and enlist "because you can always go green to gold later."

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Liz Warren is just about the worst candidate we could put up against Trump. I like her politics, don’t get me wrong. But Trump will crush her. We need someone that can metaphorically punch trump in the nose over and over again.


Give me Tammy Duckworth and let her call him bone spurs in chief. I’ll go door to door in my red as gently caress town for Duckworth.

Maybe Warren can be Vice President. I’d love to see an all female ticket win.

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Liz Warren is just about the worst candidate we could put up against Trump. I like her politics, don’t get me wrong. But Trump will crush her. We need someone that can metaphorically punch trump in the nose over and over again.

mlmp08 posted:

Let me just say thank you for not pivoting to Biden. Cause boy, as much as I didn't like Clinton as a candidate, it gets my eyebrows raised when someone dogs on Warren for "electability" or "likeability" or "progressive credentials" and then suggests Biden.

mlmp08 posted:

Let me just say thank you for not pivoting to Biden. Cause boy, as much as I didn't like Clinton as a candidate, it gets my eyebrows raised when someone dogs on Warren for "electability" or "likeability" or "progressive credentials" and then suggests Biden.

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Liz Warren is just about the worst candidate we could put up against Trump. I like her politics, don’t get me wrong. But Trump will crush her. We need someone that can metaphorically punch trump in the nose over and over again.


Give me Tammy Duckworth and let her call him bone spurs in chief. I’ll go door to door in my red as gently caress town for Duckworth.

Maybe Warren can be Vice President. I’d love to see an all female ticket win.

dscruffy1 posted:

That excerpt is in the GiP coffee table art book and I showed it to a few of the more socially adept intel folks I know. They could see a few people it applied to!

Fallom posted:

Liz Warren's DNA test stunt was such a loving massive self own and she has done nothing in the aftermath to show that she can handle the slightest bit of heat from the GOP or even her own party.

psydude posted:

I had an Army recruiter try to get me to drop out of ROTC (for which I had a full scholarship) and enlist "because you can always go green to gold later."

facialimpediment posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1080858959404240896?s=19

facialimpediment posted:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1080858959404240896?s=19

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

As I was finishing my degree, I had a Marine officer recruiter try to neg me into commissioning.

Nick Soapdish posted:

Did you tell him you've hosed more Marines than he had?

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

As I was finishing my degree, I had a Marine officer recruiter try to neg me into commissioning.

Casimir Radon posted:

I could supplement my income by going on welfare.

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Liz Warren is just about the worst candidate we could put up against Trump. I like her politics, don’t get me wrong. But Trump will crush her. We need someone that can metaphorically punch trump in the nose over and over again.


Give me Tammy Duckworth and let her call him bone spurs in chief. I’ll go door to door in my red as gently caress town for Duckworth.

Maybe Warren can be Vice President. I’d love to see an all female ticket win.