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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

MarcusSA posted:

Hey man the poop stuff works great.

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skoolmunkee
Jun 27, 2004

Tell your friends we're coming for them

7 months ago I bought a fitbit blaze at Costco because my old small capsule Fitbit (basically a step tracker only) got lost.

I didn’t really like it because it was bigger and I often took it off and would forget to put it back on. It’s just been sitting on my kitchen counter for the last 2 months.

Last week I found the tiny capsule (it fell behind the fridge) and today I returned the blaze and told them it just wasn’t being used. Lady didn’t bat an eye and put the money back on my debit card.

Then I bought a box of clementines and a bag of the CP chicken breasts for making chicken burgers. Happy ending.

EAT FASTER!!!!!!
Sep 21, 2002

Legendary.


:hampants::hampants::hampants:

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

Went to Costco yesterday for fancy folding chairs, got the last two. No sherpa blankets. A couple interesting new things:




This poop stuff looks great but remember SPRAY THE WATER BEFORE YOU POOP INTO IT.

THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
Oh poo poo, you mean I wasn't supposed to spray directly into my butthole?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

Oh poo poo, you mean I wasn't supposed to spray directly into my butthole?

Well I mean you could try and report back. :shrug:

Trastion
Jul 24, 2003
The one and only.

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

Oh poo poo, you mean I wasn't supposed to spray directly into my butthole?

That's what I do because that is where the liquid comes out at...

pnumoman
Sep 26, 2008

I never get the last word, and it makes me very sad.

Trastion posted:

That's what I do because that is where the liquid comes out at...

If liquid keeps coming out of your rear end, please see a doctor.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
Pro-tip; spray directly onto rear end in a top hat and all your farts for the rest of the day will be lemony-fresh

Trastion
Jul 24, 2003
The one and only.

pnumoman posted:

If liquid keeps coming out of your rear end, please see a doctor.


I am a doctor...

pnumoman
Sep 26, 2008

I never get the last word, and it makes me very sad.

Trastion posted:

I am a doctor...

Well, I guess you're poo poo outta luck.

GI_Clutch
Aug 22, 2000

by Fluffdaddy
Dinosaur Gum
Another protip: Lift the seat before you spray. You might think you have it low enough in the bowl to spray with the seat down, but no, you don't. You'll sit down and then your rear end will be wet. On the plus side, you'll smell better for a while.

Taima
Dec 31, 2006

tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

pnumoman posted:

Well, I guess you're poo poo outta luck.

Couldn't he just look at his own butthole via a complicated multi-mirror apparatus?

pnumoman
Sep 26, 2008

I never get the last word, and it makes me very sad.

pnumoman posted:

Well, I guess you're poo poo outta luck.

I wanna change my answer.

Physician, poo poo thyself.

Suxpool
Nov 20, 2002
I want something good to die for...to make it beautiful to live

uli2000 posted:

A good sister buys you a Costco membership. A smart sister adds you to their executive account and reaps the rewards of your spending.

I upgraded to executive today bc my mom has a card on my account and she spends at Costco like a drunken sailor then I got home and read the terms & conditions and it says on the website that only the card of the Primary Account Holder actually gets the 2% cashback.

Is this true?? Did I play myself???

Relevant Tangent
Nov 18, 2016

Tangentially Relevant

PBUC for today when I attended I found BOGO rye whiskey

Bloodplay it again
Aug 25, 2003

Oh, Dee, you card. :-*
Turns out you can't return liquor in Michigan because individuals don't have liquor licenses in order to perform the transaction. Guess who now has a $70 bottle of 12 year single malt that can't be returned? Yes, the same person that passed up the 3 pack for $99 2 months ago.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

My Costco Christmas tree is over a month old and still going strong. It hasn't dried out at all.

Jack Skeleton
Dec 7, 2006


The Business center costcos have had this for a while. I remember last year I was about to buy one but then did the price per ounce cost break down and you're better off buying the Nutella that all costcos already have. It's simple math!

Sit in front of Hallmark channel and cry with a wooden spoon Nutella bucket - .180 per ounce
Regular separate normal size container Nutella packs - .169 per ounce
Kirkland signature Hazelnut spread - .113 per ounce.

So unless you just want to have a comically oversized Nutella bucket in your kitchen, you're better off with the normal sized one and even better off with the Kirkland brand.

Hypnolobster
Apr 12, 2007

What this sausage party needs is a big dollop of ketchup! Too bad I didn't make any. :(

Suxpool posted:

I upgraded to executive today bc my mom has a card on my account and she spends at Costco like a drunken sailor then I got home and read the terms & conditions and it says on the website that only the card of the Primary Account Holder actually gets the 2% cashback.

Is this true?? Did I play myself???

Well, the primary account holder only receives the money, but both cards definitely work towards the bonus. Or at least if they don't, then I sleep-spent like 4k at Costco last year.


e: the wording on the exec membership page is that the primary and primary household cards get the 2%, so if you have two cards in the same household, things are good. I think it's excluding Business memberships where there are more than two cards, or maybe it's possible to get non-same-address cards on Executive too somehow.


Either way, I spent like 1k at costco last year and my mom (who I have on my membership because I added her before I moved out) probably spent 4k. My refund definitely reflected that.

Hypnolobster fucked around with this message at 03:08 on Jan 9, 2019

Jack Skeleton
Dec 7, 2006
Also both cards can redeem said cash back at the register when it eventually arrives. So, like, rock paper scissors who gets the cash back.

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

Pro-tip; spray directly onto rear end in a top hat and all your farts for the rest of the day will be lemony-fresh

Just put one of those Febreeze car fresheners directly into your rear end for 30 days of freshness instead of one.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

I like how they put FOOD SERVICE on there as a legal protection for when the first person dies from one of these

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

I like how they put FOOD SERVICE on there as a legal protection for when the first person dies from one of these

Costco blesses those who serve thyself

uli2000
Feb 23, 2015

Suxpool posted:

I upgraded to executive today bc my mom has a card on my account and she spends at Costco like a drunken sailor then I got home and read the terms & conditions and it says on the website that only the card of the Primary Account Holder actually gets the 2% cashback.

Is this true?? Did I play myself???

If you have a business executive membership and have more than two cards, only the primary and household card (aka the second one included in the base fee) get rewards, not the additional cards that cost $40 each or whatever. If you have just a regular executive membership and it's just you and your mom, you should be getting rewards for her card.

keevo
Jun 16, 2011

:burger:WAKE UP:burger:
I’m doing a Costco run right now and wanted to check out this Sherpa blanket. They don’t have it anymore. :negative:

Involuntary Sparkle
Aug 12, 2004

Chemo-kitties can have “accidents” too!

keevo posted:

I’m doing a Costco run right now and wanted to check out this Sherpa blanket. They don’t have it anymore. :negative:

I've bought two of these for my husband and I, and more for friends after they were raving about ours:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0158EQVPK/

The cats love them too - they won't sleep anywhere else now.

A Pack of Kobolds
Mar 23, 2007



Involuntary Sparkle posted:

The cats love them too - they won't sleep anywhere else now.



Confirmed.

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

My cat seems to think our Costco Lovesac is his personal bed.

Jack Skeleton
Dec 7, 2006
Got my communal dog today and when I was about to get the fixings on it, some dude with a big tupperware jumped on the onion dispenser and just went to town in filling that son bitch up. When that one seemed to stop dropping onions, went to the other onion dispenser and went to town on that one as well getting as much diced onions as possible.

I'm not sure if I should be outraged or to just worship him as my new lord and savior. And let's be honest, the only reason there would be any resentment is because while we talked about it here, I would be upset that he not only beat me to do it, but took it to the next loving level.

Bravo diced onions baron. Bra-loving-o

Taima
Dec 31, 2006

tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know
Was he homeless or just some fuckface?

If the former then fine, but if it's just some piece of human trash who has the income to buy the 40 cents worth of onions then it's your duty to yell at that person extremely loudly until they run out in shame.

Not because onions matter specifically, but because these people have ruined every good thing that society has ever done. Like the stupid assholes who use an item until it's trashed and then return it.

If you don't feel this way, then I invite you to travel to any country where there is actual social decorum so you can see how much better it is. The liberties you can take with, for example, your personal belongings and communal property when there isn't some fuckwad right around the next corner looking to ruin everything good in this world so that they benefit in the extreme short term.

Like for example Japan. Japan has numerous problems, but you can basically take a brand new iphone, leave it on a bench for the entire loving day in a crowded area, and there is a 90% chance it will be there when you return AFTER DARK. These countries actually have communal services and areas that function properly and enrich everyone in the community.

And while the dude stealing a half pound of cut onions isn't going to ruin the world, on a bigger scale, it absolutely is.

Obviously you could make the argument that America itself is based on this kind of sociopathic behavior, and it is, but we need to fight this behavior where we can instead of just saying well gently caress it, it'll never change.

Anyways, carry on.

RJWaters2
Dec 16, 2011

It was not not not so great
January is a great month for protein bars, drinks, and powders.
Also flat $10 off a $35 pack of ribeyes? You betcha rear end.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Renewed my membership today, kinda disappointed there wasn't a fireworks show or something.

Nfcknblvbl
Jul 15, 2002

If you have the executive membership you receive a cash certificate during renewal, it’s better than fireworks!

sexy tiger boobs
Aug 23, 2002

Up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.

Jack Skeleton posted:

Got my communal dog today and when I was about to get the fixings on it, some dude with a big tupperware jumped on the onion dispenser and just went to town in filling that son bitch up. When that one seemed to stop dropping onions, went to the other onion dispenser and went to town on that one as well getting as much diced onions as possible.

I'm not sure if I should be outraged or to just worship him as my new lord and savior. And let's be honest, the only reason there would be any resentment is because while we talked about it here, I would be upset that he not only beat me to do it, but took it to the next loving level.

Bravo diced onions baron. Bra-loving-o

nah gently caress that guy

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Taima posted:

Was he homeless or just some fuckface?

If the former then fine, but if it's just some piece of human trash who has the income to buy the 40 cents worth of onions then it's your duty to yell at that person extremely loudly until they run out in shame.

Not because onions matter specifically, but because these people have ruined every good thing that society has ever done. Like the stupid assholes who use an item until it's trashed and then return it.

If you don't feel this way, then I invite you to travel to any country where there is actual social decorum so you can see how much better it is. The liberties you can take with, for example, your personal belongings and communal property when there isn't some fuckwad right around the next corner looking to ruin everything good in this world so that they benefit in the extreme short term.

Like for example Japan. Japan has numerous problems, but you can basically take a brand new iphone, leave it on a bench for the entire loving day in a crowded area, and there is a 90% chance it will be there when you return AFTER DARK. These countries actually have communal services and areas that function properly and enrich everyone in the community.

And while the dude stealing a half pound of cut onions isn't going to ruin the world, on a bigger scale, it absolutely is.

Obviously you could make the argument that America itself is based on this kind of sociopathic behavior, and it is, but we need to fight this behavior where we can instead of just saying well gently caress it, it'll never change.

Anyways, carry on.

The only reason Costco manages to be as nice as it is is because of the membership fee. I know people have started fistfights over samples but imagine if there was noone at the door stopping random yahoos and homeless guys from bum-rushing them

Coredump
Dec 1, 2002

Taima posted:

Obviously you could make the argument that America itself is based on this kind of sociopathic behavior, and it is, but we need to fight this behavior where we can instead of just saying well gently caress it, it'll never change.

Well it was IKEA in South Korea that had two years worth of free pencils swiped in two months. Koreans take the onions in such quantity from Costco they get called onion beggars.
https://youtu.be/B1cqDQSOrZM

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Also s every time i go to certain costcos there's always assholes who have opened the packs and made their own free samples

Lazyhound
Mar 1, 2004

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

Also s every time i go to certain costcos there's always assholes who have opened the packs and made their own free samples

Last time I was at Costco I overheard somebody complaining to a manager because security had spoken to her for helping herself to a package of something while she was shopping and dumping the half-eaten container in an aisle.

Jack Skeleton
Dec 7, 2006
Guy had a tote bag, looked like he was in his 50-60's and just had no fucks to give about anything. Highly doubt homeless.

Oh, agreed, that sort of actions basically are the reasons why the onion dispenser gets taken away and you have to ask for portions at the window. I was just in disbelief that someone actually went full loving tilt on it. So were a few other folks in the benches witnessing this. It took us all aback at the fact of the balls on the guy.

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FCKGW
May 21, 2006

Not your circus, not your monkey.
Not your problem, just the company's.

PBUC

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