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What's your favorite version of Mariah Carey?
This poll is closed.
Curly-haired skinny 1990 Mariah 34 26.15%
Crazy rainbow booby Mariah 33 25.38%
MILF-riah 23 17.69%
Thicc-riah 40 30.77%
Total: 130 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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beep by grandpa
May 5, 2004

Mariah Carey is one of the most disastrously stupid celebrities I have ever seen in my entire life but us biracials never had that many role models to look up to in the 90s but she has bomb rear end titties so my mind has always been in constant conflict about her.

My mom really wanted me to be a fan of hers when I was a kid because she's mixed like me and my brothers but even when I was 12 I knew she was stupid as hell...but she tries so please pray for her

if you're unsure about this here is splendid tweet of hers that made me go walk outside and take a break from social media from a bit

https://twitter.com/mariahcarey/status/154513641251676160

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Issy
Jul 15, 2017

https://youtube.com/watch?v=N0iZGMXpquQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6z6epeTrKw

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

beep by grandpa posted:

My mom really wanted me to be a fan of hers when I was a kid because she's mixed like me and my brothers but even when I was 12 I knew she was stupid as hell...but she tries so please pray for her

them titties ain't dumb

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich

beep by grandpa posted:

Mariah Carey is one of the most disastrously stupid celebrities I have ever seen in my entire life but us biracials never had that many role models to look up to in the 90s but she has bomb rear end titties so my mind has always been in constant conflict about her.

My mom really wanted me to be a fan of hers when I was a kid because she's mixed like me and my brothers but even when I was 12 I knew she was stupid as hell...but she tries so please pray for her

if you're unsure about this here is splendid tweet of hers that made me go walk outside and take a break from social media from a bit

https://twitter.com/mariahcarey/status/154513641251676160

Do you not want people to pray for you if you have mild kidney failure idgi

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler

Torquemada posted:

I couldn’t give a poo poo about her, but that live version of Vision of Love she did on SNL in like 1990 made the hair stand up on my neck. And looking at it now LOL at what she looks like: a totally ordinary ok looking girl in an oversized jean jacket. She should have stayed plain but talented.

I like that song but I never saw that version before. That is kinda cool to see where she started from. I think if being glamorous makes you happy you should do what you feel like but I think most celebrities do it out of obligation. Mariah is one of the most talented vocalists of all time but she definitely has her share of personal struggles/mental health issues. Most great musicians do tbh

That performance is on youtube btw (bootleg quality at least)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX_GRxM48v4

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Dixville posted:

I like that song but I never saw that version before. That is kinda cool to see where she started from. I think if being glamorous makes you happy you should do what you feel like but I think most celebrities do it out of obligation. Mariah is one of the most talented vocalists of all time but she definitely has her share of personal struggles/mental health issues. Most great musicians do tbh

That performance is on youtube btw (bootleg quality at least)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX_GRxM48v4

Those backup singers and band members knew. They were part of history.

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler
Oh poo poo I forgot about this song this was my mother loving jam when I was 10


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMCGvtlL4fw

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich

Dixville posted:

I like that song but I never saw that version before. That is kinda cool to see where she started from. I think if being glamorous makes you happy you should do what you feel like but I think most celebrities do it out of obligation. Mariah is one of the most talented vocalists of all time but she definitely has her share of personal struggles/mental health issues. Most great musicians do tbh

That performance is on youtube btw (bootleg quality at least)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX_GRxM48v4

For those curious, here's 2017 Mariah tackling this same song: https://youtu.be/BJ8KpZV7i0k

TL;DW - She does fine, but what's most interesting is how nervous she looks in parts

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghOnE5fFzws

I always think it's interesting to hear the vocals isolated out on songs like this where there is some freestyle/improv incorporated in it. Technically it still has the back up cues on this one but still cool to hear

hseroK divaD
Jun 3, 2011

Creepy Richard will keep leering at you NON-STOP!

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Is she hot or fat this year

Tommy Motola did the right thing marrying Thalia



Now we're talking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQEVguV71sI

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich
That Tommy Mottola sure has a type doesn't he?

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

1redflag posted:

I hope we can talk about grown men tucking their chains in this thread

With the wildfires forcing people to leave their homes, kids from cali are now popping up all over the country

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
Jim Jeffries has a bit where he talks about how Mariah hired him to do stand up at Mariah’s billionaire boyfriends birthday party and what a disaster it was

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
Shake It Off is the best goddam break-up song on the planet (edging out The World Has Turned by Weezer), and whenever I bring it up people always say “you mean by Taylor Swift” and then by the time I’ve finished bludgeoning them to death the video is done buffering and I listen to it like 10 times in a row.

I can’t listen to it right now because I have a girlfriend and if I listen to it I’m gonna get so hype on breaking up I might dump this women because Mariah told me to.

Also lol at a gossip blog trying to slut-shame an international sex icon with “you’re Old... and a Mom! Put your boobs away, old mom!”

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

ElectricSheep posted:

them titties ain't dumb

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

It is I who is dumb, for those titties

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

i was placed in remedial english and sat behind them titties

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




1redflag posted:

I hope we can talk about grown men tucking their chains dicks in this thread

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless

Bust Rodd posted:

Shake It Off is the best goddam break-up song on the planet (edging out The World Has Turned by Weezer), and whenever I bring it up people always say “you mean by Taylor Swift” and then by the time I’ve finished bludgeoning them to death the video is done buffering and I listen to it like 10 times in a row.

I can’t listen to it right now because I have a girlfriend and if I listen to it I’m gonna get so hype on breaking up I might dump this women because Mariah told me to.

Also lol at a gossip blog trying to slut-shame an international sex icon with “you’re Old... and a Mom! Put your boobs away, old mom!”

Yeah!!!!
:mamacita:

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
The Mariah/ODB story is a good one.

Mariah may be sort of crazy, but she could never match up to ODB's level

https://ambrosiaforheads.com/2018/11/odb-mariah-carey-fantasy-making-of-ol-dirty/

quote:

Rooney continues, “At this point Mariah had been calling every hour on the hour, wanting to hear something over the phone. Tommy was pissed because Mariah was keeping him up, so he finally got on the phone with O.D.B. — and after that, finally we started to record. He said one line — ‘me and Mariah, go back like babies with pacifiers‘ — then paused, said, ‘Yo, I need to take a break,’ and went to sleep for 45 minutes. He woke up and was like, ‘Yo, let me hear what I did so far.’ We played his one line back, he sang another line or two, and then slept for another hour. He would come up with a line, punch that in, go to sleep. He went to sleep three different times in the middle of trying to get that one verse done. If you listen to the record now, on his verse, you can hear that it’s punched in in pieces. He actually told the engineer, ‘Y’all better have your sh*t set and record it right, cause I’m not doing it twice.'”

:rip:

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Tuck ye chains, industry hos

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

I'm flexin of all of u real hard rn

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich

:eyepop:

Burt Sexual posted:

Those backup singers and band members knew. They were part of history.

For more fun "people realizing they were witnessing history" stuff, check out Mariah Carey's first ever TV appearance at game 4 of the NBA Finals in 1990 in all its 3rd generation VHS glory:

https://youtu.be/TjDIgj2x3L8

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

I should prolly mention that Grindcore made that, not me. Credit where credit is due and all that.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I remember reading years ago that any time Mariah Carey checked into a hotel she made them put a new unused toilet in her room and I remember thinking "they must mean just the toilet seat" but now I'm not sure

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
It makes me wonder what she does at home

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I bet if you look in the alley behind her apartment it's like 40 feet high with lightly used toilets she pulled up and threw out the window

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
Sensing a market for screw on disposable toilets.

Warm und Fuzzy
Jun 20, 2006

Mariah Carey doesn't want a lot for Christmas. She only want to POSSESS A HUMAN BEING.

Like, sorry, Mariah, you're gettin a prepaid visa.

Warm und Fuzzy
Jun 20, 2006

Changed my mind. I'm re gifting Mariah a Hess truck.

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich
Analysts have deduced that the holiday cheer of the populace is already up this year. How do they know this? SCIENCE!

Washington Post posted:

I present you the “All I Want for Christmas Index of Holiday Cheer.”

Yes, we can use interest in Mariah Carey’s iconic holiday standard as a proxy for feelings of what we might call holiday cheer.

quote:

AIWFCIY searches are currently trending well ahead of prior years. Interest in the song is currently higher than at any point in the past decade or so for which Google has numbers. Is this because people need more holiday cheer this year, or are they simply feeling more festive? Again, the numbers don’t tell us exactly why they’re searching, but it is clear that this holiday season people need more Mariah in their lives than usual.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/busi...m=.188bd609871b

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich
Pitchfork sits down with Ms. Carey and gets her to answer their burning questions.



Carey on how race works:

quote:

You posted a photo with Colin Kaepernick recently, and people were making stupid comments like, “What does she know? She’s white.”

This is how many years later? That ignorance level. When you have a black father and then people are calling you white, and then white people are like, “But her father is black."

Mariah on the essence of Mariah:

quote:

What makes something a Mariah song to you?

I don’t know how to define that. I’ve recently started being like, “Oh, I guess that’s very me to do that part right there.” It’ll be a la-la-la or a shoo-do-do or a da-da-da-da-da...

Mariah Carey literally shits #1 records:

quote:

Tommy [Mottola] had said, “Oh, there’s this movie, and Luther [Vandross] is gonna do a song, and Gloria [Estefan] is gonna do a song. You want to write the song for Gloria?” I said, “Cool,” and then I walked out, went to the restroom, came back, and I came up with the melody and the lyric—[sings] and then a hero comes along—at the same time.

Mariah Carey has no idea where people get the notion that she hates Jennifer Lopez :iiam:

quote:

Even when you say the most simple poo poo, like “I don’t know her” about Jennifer Lopez, it gets turned into a never-ending meme.

I really was trying to say something nice or say nothing at all. I really was.

That must be weird, everything being dissected the way it is with you.

Carey on how she became the victor of Hunger Games: 90s Pop Stars Edition

quote:

How did you survive? I ask because a lot of the megastars who came up just a little bit before you, like George Michael and Whitney Houston, ultimately didn’t.

It’s really about a great support system and working with people who understand and try to create a good environment. Hopefully, those people will also understand stress is really a killer. When we have lost some of our greatest, it’s really taken a toll on me, as someone who grew up watching them and being inspired by them. You mentioned George Michael. I remember before my first album, even in high school, the Faith album, I looked at that and said, “I want to make an album that crosses all these genres.” We had a lot of things in common in terms of record company political stuff. I remember this one dinner that we had. We were both talking about really difficult stuff that we’d been through. And when he passed away on that Christmas, I couldn’t believe it because I thought he would be able to be OK.

Lots more insight at the link: https://pitchfork.com/features/interview/forever-mariah-an-interview-with-an-icon/

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich

lizardman posted:



When we last heard from Ms. Carey she had managed to free herself from a Russian conspiracy (for the moment, at least) and had announced to the public she had been hiding a bipolar disorder diagnosis for the past 17 years.

:siren::siren::siren: They're baaaa-aaaaaack.... :frogsiren::frogsiren::frogsiren:

A SECOND BOUGIE RUSSIAN LEACH HAS HIT THE TOWER. But it looks this time Mariah Carey's ready for 'em; she's going on the offensive.

Fox News posted:

Mariah Carey reportedly sues former assistant for blackmailing her with 'intimate,' 'personal' recordings



Mariah Carey has reportedly filed a lawsuit against her old assistant after she allegedly tried to blackmail her with “intimate” and “embarrassing” recordings.

According to TMZ, which allegedly obtained a copy of the lawsuit, Carey is going after Lianna Azarian for recording her “personal activities” and threatening to sell them after she was fired from the singer’s employ in 2017.

THE LOVELY AND TALENTED MARIAH CAREY

Azarian was reportedly hired in 2015 as her executive assistant, which she allegedly quickly took advantage of. Carey’s lawsuit reportedly claims Azarian used her boss’ credit cards without permission to buy personal items and convince retailers that they were for the singer, thus tarnishing her good will to get discounts.

Carey also alleges that, without her knowledge or consent, her assistant filmed video of her “personal activities.” It remains vague as to what’s actually in the recordings, but the suit reportedly “intimate,” “embarrassing” and contain “personal activities.”

MARIAH CAREY DAZZLES IN SPARKLING STRING BIKINI

Despite making an estimated $337,000 a year, Azarian reportedly tried to blackmail $8 million from Carey in exchange for keeping the information private.

TMZ reports that Carey demanded the videos and other evidence of criminal activity be returned to her, but was ignored. She’s reportedly suing for at least $3 million.

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/mariah-carey-reportedly-sues-former-assistant-for-blackmailing-her-with-intimate-recordings

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich
But that's just the beginning.

This treacherous former personal assistant from the Eastern Bloc has immediately filed a counter suit, and the claims are...



...well, they're something!


BuzzFeed News posted:

Mariah Carey’s Former Personal Assistant Says She Was Held Down And Peed On At Work


Mariah Carey's former personal assistant is hitting back against allegations that she tried to extort the singer by claiming in a lawsuit that she was subjected to verbal and physical abuse, including being peed on, while on the job.

quote:

Included in the allegations filed by Lianna Shakhnazaryan, who also goes by Lianna Azarian, is that Carey’s manager would often yell things at her like "Get that Armenian bitch!" and "Move your fat Armenian rear end!" Carey’s then-manager Stella Bulochnikov also allegedly slapped Shakhnazaryan's breast and on multiple times pushed her to the ground and sat and peed on her.

quote:

Shakhnazaryan said Carey was aware of the conduct and also joined in committing physical, emotional, and psychological attacks. She is suing for sexual battery, discrimination, harassment, and wrongful termination.

Carey filed her own lawsuit this week accusing Shakhnazaryan of trying to blackmail her by threatening to release “personally embarrassing and professionally damaging” videos unless the singer paid her $8 million.

According to her 32-page complaint, Shakhnazaryan said she was hired Sept. 21, 2015, to work as Carey’s personal assistant. The job required her to meet constant demands and work around the clock, she said, and she received $328,500 a year in compensation. Shakhnazaryan claims she was also tasked with assisting Bulochnikov.

During that time, Shakhnazaryan alleges Bulochnikov also repeatedly ridiculed her about her breasts and would put iPhones, remote controls, and utensils under them.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/claudiarosenbaum/mariah-carey-personal-assistant-sues?origin=thum
^ Buzzfeed also a PDF copy of the entire countersuit filing if reading such things is a hobby of yours like it is ours.

This dormant saga really exploded out of nowhere - this all re-ignited yesterday. The plot thickens. It's enough to make one long for the days when all you had to worry about was Eminem making a diss song about how you don't want to have sex with him! Such an innocent, care-free time.

More as it develops. We'll keep you abreast of the situation!

lizardman fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Jan 19, 2019

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
:pisstape:

feller
Jul 5, 2006


Leave Mariah Alone!

Free Cheese
Sep 16, 2005
Come on, it's free
Buglord
I get pissed on for way less than that

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Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981


Yeah.

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