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Vim Fuego posted:WIBTA if I told my bridesmaid to cover her tattoo? I think it might be the right thing here but drat. Treasure the friends you can say "I'm photoshopping out your dick elephant tattoo" to.
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Apr 2, 2019 00:40
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Panfilo posted:I was half expecting the ceiling to give out and have hundreds of piss bottles rain down when the wife was having tea with her friends or something. Smashing and splashing their fetid juice across the room, the piss bottles shattered on the hardwood floor, forever marking the home in the man's unmistakeable scent.
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Apr 2, 2019 00:43
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Does anyone even have 40 dress shirts? I wear them everyday and I have about 25, I can't fit anymore in my closet. I get rid of them when they get sweat-stained in the summer, I've never used one, new or old, as a batch rag.
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Apr 2, 2019 01:22
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:that was my dad 100%. i went to this stupid loving catholic highschool that changed the grade scale, so As were only 94-100, B was like 87-93, etc (which was a whole other level of dumb, because the colleges only looked at the letters, they cant be hosed to look up that youre in a stupid "high achiever" school and it messes up your transcript), and even then i'd bring home a 94 and he'd go "well its only an A-, you can do better." shockingly, this isnt good for longterm mental health, as can be shown by my account on this site My dad blamed the divorce on my brother and me not getting straight A's, not the fact he couldn't keep his dick in his pants and his latest girlfriend wanted to get married. Somehow that did not help me get straight A's after the fact.
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Apr 2, 2019 01:37
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Sunswipe posted:Something Awful variation on Godwin's Law: as a thread grows longer, the probability of it turning to discuss transgender porn stars approaches 1. Only took 2,429 pages over here - https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3751104&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2429.
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Apr 2, 2019 01:42
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Pinecone Sample posted:I've never used one, new or old, as a batch rag. You, my friend, haven't really lived.
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Apr 2, 2019 01:59
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Pinecone Sample posted:Does anyone even have 40 dress shirts? I wear them everyday and I have about 25, I can't fit anymore in my closet. I get rid of them when they get sweat-stained in the summer, I've never used one, new or old, as a batch rag. I don't even understand a reality in which that would be useful. Like.....at laziest go to the dry cleaners/have them picked up one a month? I guess that's what he was going for. Or...you know, software/database engineer so he's probably just on a subscription for batch shirts.
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Apr 2, 2019 02:10
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He only wears three shirts at most. Maybe one pair of pants. The rest of his wardrobe is in the attic growing cum colonies. Let’s be honest given this guy’s reasoning. You can’t smell on a video call!
MasBrillante fucked around with this message at 04:26 on Apr 2, 2019 |
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Apr 2, 2019 02:24
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hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:I know she wasn't, but why not just say "we decided to with someone else" instead of saying we are specifically not hiring you because you're vegan? Or why does guy who hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:Liking boobs is literally the thing that makes you not gay Amazing, usually this thread keeps the toxic masculinity on at least the dogwhistle level but sometimes, sometimes...
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Apr 2, 2019 02:43
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TheScott2K posted:r/Parenting gives us a part-time dad who won't let the fact that his kid is crushing it get in the way of imposing arbitrary horseshit. To be 100% fair, those where my scores as a kid, and in retrospect I spent waaaay too much time playing video games in my final few years of secondary school. It's very possible to be getting good grades on paper but still be behind developmentally in other areas of life. I mean, we all payed money to post on this dead, gay forum... Also to the others claiming that retaking the test since you know you can do higher... is perfectly normal for kids trained with PSATs and stuff. I know my experience is twenty years out of date, and I was happy with my score, but a lot of friends re-tested to get their 1600 because the parents can afford it and the teens know they can do it if they didn't bungle that one question. This is not a 'I am very smart post' btw, the SAT's are awful tests designed to separate rich kids from those filthy poors, I could go on a rant but I won't.
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Apr 2, 2019 03:00
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My (F/30) sister in law (F/42) blames the hospital I work at for the death of her father (M/72.) It is causi g problems with family gatherings and on social media.quote:I have always gotten along well with my sister in law (huband’s brothers’s wife) at family gatherings but we have never been super close. Knowing I was a RN she would often talk to be about her struggles in helping her non-compliant, doctor hating father with his many heath problems (copd, smoking, high blood pressure, heart failure, multiple heart attacks, type 2 diabetes, etc.). I would occasionally recommend services but generally just listened to her vent.
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Apr 2, 2019 03:30
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Dude how is the family all "Well we know she's crazy but why don't you quit your job and just pop into another hospital?"
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Apr 2, 2019 03:50
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Scathach posted:Dude how is the family all "Well we know she's crazy but why don't you quit your job and just pop into another hospital?" They’ve probably all been accommodating her already and the OP is just late to the party on realizing she’s insane
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Apr 2, 2019 03:52
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Serephina posted:To be 100% fair, those where my scores as a kid, and in retrospect I spent waaaay too much time playing video games in my final few years of secondary school. It's very possible to be getting good grades on paper but still be behind developmentally in other areas of life. I mean, we all payed money to post on this dead, gay forum... looks like you should have retaken it after all 
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Apr 2, 2019 04:02
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Pinecone Sample posted:Does anyone even have 40 dress shirts? I wear them everyday and I have about 25, I can't fit anymore in my closet. I get rid of them when they get sweat-stained in the summer, I've never used one, new or old, as a batch rag. I have like 5 dress shirts because I never wear them outside of job interviews and the maybe 4-5 times a year I go to synagogue. I work in a very casual environment. How could someone possibly have 40 goddamn dress shirts, unless they never throw out their old crappy stuff or are addicted to impulse buying clothes they don't need?
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Apr 2, 2019 04:25
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The Chainsmokers song Kills You Slowly is the musical version of this thread to the point where all I can think about hearing it is the  emoticon
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Apr 2, 2019 04:55
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r/relationships: Cum shirts didn't help
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Apr 2, 2019 05:02
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bell jar posted:looks like you should have retaken it after all In my defense, the SAT didn't test spelling nor grammar. But I sure as gently caress know how cats:dogs :: SA:humor!
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Apr 2, 2019 05:03
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If he jerks off into a dress shirt every few months and then tosses it into his piss closet, and has 40 of them, doesn't that mean there are like a decade worth of cum shirts draped over his thousands of piss bottles? Also, talking about your SAT scores after the age of 19 is pretty tragic.
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Apr 2, 2019 05:04
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Reddit is a machine for finding the most passive possible solution to a problem. Went hunting to see what it might look like. I'm gussing this, but with a more hosed up trunk:  Which is weird, given that it's easy enough to actually put the mother on there and complete the context of the image: 
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Apr 2, 2019 05:04
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I assume he didn’t have 40 dress shirts that he actually wore, that’s just how many that had accumulated in his piss & cum attic. He probably had to keep buying more to replace his steadily dwindling supply of wearable ones.
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Apr 2, 2019 05:09
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WIBTA if I did a 23andMe test when my parents don't want me to? When I was around 13 (seven years ago) my parents told me that there was some uncertainty regarding my paternity. My mother was sexually assulted by another man around the same time that I was conceived. They never did a test and just agreed to raise me as my fathers' daughter. I'd honestly be lying if I said it didn't bother me not knowing the truth. So my cousin (dad's sister's son) did 23andMe already, and I want to do it as well to see my genetic makeup and all that, but I also kind of want to find out if we're related. I told my parents and they, mostly mom, freaked out. They said that it was their decision not to test in the first place and that they don't think it's fair of me to disrespect their decision. My dad asked me if I saw him as my father. I said "yes, obviously, even if you maybe aren't biologically" My mother won't speak to me, but my dad looked real sad. So WIBTA if I went though with it? Edit: Just thought it was important to state that I do intend to share the results with them. I am honestly terrible at keeping secrets and I know for a fact that even if I try to hide it, it will slip some day. So better to state from the beginning. My cousin will obviously also know and he can't keep secrets as well. Edit 2: So apparently IWBTA, so: I am going to do the test, however, it will only be in about 30-40 years when both my parents have passed away. I feel like it would be a win for everyone then, unless the world ends in some tragic way before I find out, or I die. I don't want to know because of some lost identity BS, I'm just curious is all. So if I find out now or later, I don't think it would make much of a difference. I see now that I was kind of selfish in my reasoning, thanks all. Last Edit: Not that it's important, but I see that I said I'm 20, I'm 23 lmao
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Apr 2, 2019 05:21
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AITA for going to my sister’s dream school when she just got rejected? So, I got into Cornell last week. Honestly I think it was fluke. I’m not smart, at all. I got a 28 ACT, a decent GPA (because my school grade inflates considerably). I had some decent extracurriculars but nothing remotely competitive enough to get me to a school like Cornell. But anyways... My twin sister is the opposite of me. She’s a GENIUS, she has way more impressive stats (34 ACT and she only took it once, compared to my 3 times), she has way better grades, way cooler extracurriculars. Everyone always looked up to her as the smart one. I didn’t and still don’t mind, it’s true. The only reason I can fathom I got in and she didn’t is that she applied to the engineering college while I applied to Arts and Sciences (I don’t know if too many of you guys are familiar with Cornell, but they have a bunch of different colleges you can apply to, each with their different admission criteria). Well last week, decisions for ivies came out. Unfortunately for my sister, she didn’t get into a single one, including her first choice (Cornell). She checked as SOON as it was available and called me bawling. I consoled her and told her everything was going to be okay, that who cares what school you go to, that she was brilliant and was going to be successful no matter where she goes. Well anyways, I pretty much resolved that I was getting rejected, so I didn’t even bother to look at my email until later that night. Well, I guess surprises do happen sometime, because I’m a Cornellian. I got in. I just don’t know how but I did. I really want to go guys. But this would devastate my sister. All week she’s been crying and solemn and sad. She’s been angry at her friends who got into top schools (especially the ones with lower stats). She’s decided to go to NYU, but she just hasn’t been herself. I haven’t told our parents (I think they assumed I didn’t get in because she didn’t). Am I being selfish? Should I just go with her to NYC? We always thought we were going to school together but like... it’s Cornell. I couldn’t in a million years imagine I’d get in. I’ve been researching obsessively about it and I can’t shake the desire that if I don’t go, I’ll regret it. Ithaca looks beautiful, it’s a small town (which I would LOVE to get away with from the huge city that is New York). It seems like a dream opportunity. Am I being a bad sister? I KNOW she would be upset; we were supposed to go to school together. It would crush her. I really don’t have anyone else to talk to  . AITA for going to her dream school? Especially considering how much harder she’s worked compared to me...TLDR: dumb sister (me) gets into Cornell. Smart sister didn’t. She’s depressed. It was her first choice. I want to go tho. AITA? UPDATE: so everyone here told me that I should go, so I decided to tell my sister. Well, she started screaming from excitement and got (not actually) mad that how couldn’t I tell her earlier and she’s so proud of me But seconds later, her excitement just turned to....sadness. She went from like super giddy to depressed in like seconds,, and she started bawling. Like uncontrollably bawling. I tried to comfort but she pushed me away and locked herself in our room... I going to give her some alone time right now and we can talk more about it later. Update 2: Please let me know if my updates are annoying; I only expected 3-4 comments and didn’t know so many people were interested, so I thought least I could do is update So after 5 mins of the previous post, my sister sent me a text. It said: I’m sorry for how I reacted; please don’t be mad. I’m so happy for you and your accomplishments. It’s just that after I got rejected, I at least had the consolation that I get to go to school with you and we can go together. But now you’re going to be where I wanted to be and I’m just so sad. I worked so hard and did everything I could to go to the best school I can and I just feel like all my hard work was just wasted effort. I’m sorry I’m ranting I just need more time I’m not going to lie guys, when I read this, I cried. A lot of you are saying that I obviously I have to have attributes that made me desiresble but I really don’t. I don’t deserve my acceptance. I did my homework between classes, barely studied for anything, took the easiest AP classes available, etc. Meanwhile I see my sister always taking the hardest classes, studying as hard as she can, always volunteering. She deserves it, not me, and seeing her so hurt pains me. I’m really strongly just considering going to NYU with her. Everyone at Cornell will just be just like her and I don’t stand a chance. And I know if I go to Cornell, we’re going to drift apart which would suck because we’re best friends and I just don’t want to lose my sister Update 3: So I told my parents and they did NOT react how I would've expected them to. First, they tried to insist that Cornell made a mistake between our applications (which would be IMPOSSIBLE; if we applied to the same school within Cornell, like we both applied to Arts and Sciences, then it would be somewhat probable, but we applied to different schools with different admission committees. They couldn't have mixed them up). Then they went on to explain how I should go to NYU with my sister. I thought it was strange, because they definitely would've supported my sister going to Cornell if I didn't get in. My sister apparently thought so too, because she asked why would I not go to Cornell, and they said how it was unfair that I basically slacked off in high school and was able to go, when my sister was the hardworking one who busted her rear end all of school. I don't know if I'm being dramatic, but that hurt. I knew they always thought my sister was the smarter one (they've made it clear multiple times), but to hear them say that I don't deserve my spot sucks. Even though they're probably right. I stood there in silence, but my sister stood up for me. She asked them how could they say something so cruel to their daughter, that I 100% have every right to be there, and that they should apologize for being so rude. My parents were SHOCKED because we're both very passive people, and neither of us ever talked to them like that before. This started an argument and long story short, we're currently in our rooms. I'm just so thankful to have her stand up for me. I realize that I have internalized a lot of the comments they've made over the years. I'm glad I have my sister actually believe in me. I still don't know if I want to go to NYU or Cornell, mostly because I just don't want to go to school without her. She's my best friend, and going 4 years without someone who just thinks so positively about you just seems so long. At the end of the day, I ALWAYS thought the NYU was going to be the school I was going to, so I wouldn't lose much by choosing it over Cornell. I'm going to talk about it more with my sister and look into both schools more. Thanks again everybody for your comments; I wouldn't have realize how important of a person my sister is if you guys didn't give me the courage to tell her that I got in. Update 3.5: No new news but I just wanted to say that I'm reading every single comment and I apologize if I don't get to you individually and I appreciate everyone's overwhelming support! You guys are amazing 
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Apr 2, 2019 05:23
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Bit of a roller coaster, that college one
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Apr 2, 2019 05:33
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I'm just happy that the "chosen" sister turned out to be cool and understanding of her faults. It means she'll probably do a lot better than if she was self absorbed like all the other kids in these stories. Shame about the loving parents though.
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Apr 2, 2019 05:36
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Solid Snake had the bad genes too kid, and he turned out alright.
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Apr 2, 2019 05:39
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for going to my sister’s dream school when she just got rejected? Christ, no wonder she’s so insecure about her accomplishments. Small comfort that her sister is cool at least.
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Apr 2, 2019 05:40
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im a STEMlord from california with hair that looks like two birds loving eager to disrupt the college admissions industry by selling them all on this hot new trend: Dipshits. edit- oh no! i'm arrested!
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Apr 2, 2019 05:49
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Hello they are twins, why do they not just pull a twin swap
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Apr 2, 2019 05:51
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i like nice words
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the hidden message in that whole story is: welcome to the engineering world, sister 
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Apr 2, 2019 05:54
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My girlfriend broke up with me as an April fools joke, and after telling her that it literally hurt my heart she though it was funny. I didn't think it was funny one bit. Like the title says. Tiny back story. I've been in a couple relationships in the past and its always been obvious to me that I'm always the one that puts the most effort in keeping the relationship going. I'll go out of my way and do anything possible to keep the relationship healthy, I'll think about my SO before I do something (would my SO be bothered if I did this) etc.. In my past relationships i would do that same but i wouldn't get the same from them. They would do something that would bother me I would talk to them about it, they would apologize and go on and do it again. My current SO knows what my past relationships have put me through. I've never been one to go out or party. I have very little friends that are girls and even then we rarely talk. I work, I'm at home, I'll talk to my group of guy friends on discord sometimes play some games and sometimes but rarely go out with them. Today, she jokingly broke up with me for an April fools joke. After she told me it was a joke I told her that I didn't find it funny at all and that upon reading that text I literally felt pain in my heart. She thought it was funny. And again I told her that this was a harsh joke. I asked who would do something like that and she replied with "me". That it's the way she jokes around. I told her she can joke around like that with other people just not with me, and we proceeded to have a small argument. She said somethings in the lines of, "If this poo poo gets to loving boring where there's no loving joking around because you take everything up the rear end I'm leaving". I don't want you to think that we don't joke around, we do a lot and we laugh we have a good time, this was just not my type of humor. What do I do? I really am in love with this girl and I don't want stupid jokes be the reason why we don't make it. Am I overreacting and should just let it go? Any advice would be appreciated.
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Apr 2, 2019 06:11
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The sister's reaction was heartwarming. gently caress those parents though.
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Apr 2, 2019 06:12
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who do we get to blame for everyone pulling these really dumb pranks on their friends and partners? is it youtubers or the office or what? likes pranks when i was a kid were lol he fell asleep with his shoes on so we drew a penis on his face. now its like i told my SO i cheated on them with their best friend or i switched my girlfriends insulin with kerosene or something really really stupid.
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Apr 2, 2019 06:19
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We just put saran wrap on the toilet and called it a day. These people are loving terrible. Hell, people are terrible.
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Apr 2, 2019 06:29
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Sagebrush posted:the hidden message in that whole story is: welcome to the engineering world, sister I'm fairly certain CMU would salivate at getting some more women engineers, so I'm not sure what's up with Cornell. I graduated with a pair of identical twins like this, but their parents were awesome. They both teach now.
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Apr 2, 2019 06:30
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I blame youtube. People were stupid before too but youtube really reinforces a lot of people’s idiocy and just leads to them being even worse. There was a popular prank channel on there that was basically just a couple screaming at their young children because I guess that counts as a prank nowadays.
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Apr 2, 2019 06:35
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We should all aspire to one day achieve a level of intimacy where we can calmly and confidently ask our partners to go jack off to a picture of their brother.
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Apr 2, 2019 06:37
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Hah and our parents were worried about Jackass and Beavis and Butthead being bad influences
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Apr 2, 2019 06:37
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To be honest from the womans response to him admitting that her prank messed him up she seems totally ok with it not being a joke
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Apr 2, 2019 06:59
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Megillah Gorilla posted:Went hunting to see what it might look like. This is it: 
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