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IUDs are great, I recommend them as much as it’s appropriate for me, a cis-dude, to do so. I’ll echo all of the points mentioned above, and yes- they can cause discomfort if they’ve shifted around/haven’t been placed well so she should talk to her Dr. if that feels like the case. Otherwise, are you just pounding her like you’re in a porno from the get-go? Just ramming it in without finesse? Maybe try easing in and going slowly and working up the speed/intensity as you go. Start gently.
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Apr 6, 2019 15:31
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Electric Bugaloo posted:Doesn’t that start to smell really gross after a while?  Not in my experience! There's a food grade kind that is mostly coconut-flavour free, as well. poo poo's 
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Apr 6, 2019 15:56
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The lube on a condom is rarely enough lube, especially for a first time when both partners might be tense. Coil plus condom is pretty amazing contraception, especially when the condom is used correctly. Poil, you’re asking all the right questions. Scarleteen.com is a site that has a lot of good articles about sex and contraception, might be worth a look.
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Apr 6, 2019 16:21
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Coconut oil is great. So is Astroglide.
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Apr 6, 2019 19:28
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Cat Army
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this is both confusing and worrying. sometimes she is incredibly tight but we're both super comfortable and relaxed around each other. she is also looser sometimes whilst we're both still very comfortable and relaxed. I'm just trying to understand what is behind the different levels of tightness I experience. like this morning, we were having sex, it was good, we were both into it. she was loose to begin with but as things progressed, she got really tight, and then loose again after another 5 minutes. I just want to know if there's anything I can do to control this. gonna jump onboard the coconut oil train and use it next time, cause being circumcised causes so many issues with lubrication. she can have the niagara falls between her legs but if I start slow thrusting, I basically evaporate most of it off of my junk and then it gets dry and we resort to spit, which is eh.
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Apr 6, 2019 20:34
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Thanks for the help everyone.  I'm not sure if I can find any specific brands of lube mentioned in Sweden but I'll see if I can find something, after talking to her about it of course. Do you buy the coconut oil in pharmacies, sex stores or grocery stores?  Bollock Monkey posted:Both the copper and hormonal coils are incredibly effective at preventing pregnancy, with a 0.2 and 0.8% failure rate respectively. That's compared to an 18% failure rate of male condoms and 9% for combined oral contraceptives (as per common usage because 'perfect use' is hard to achieve in reality.)  She did mention she has had bleeding since then and was a bit worried how I felt about that but it wasn't anything at all during our attempt to bump uglies. Yeah we have talked very slightly about it and I was planning to bring it up properly the next time we met but wanted to be more informed about it first. Electric Bugaloo posted:IUDs are great, I recommend them as much as it's appropriate for me, a cis-dude, to do so. I'll echo all of the points mentioned above, and yes- they can cause discomfort if they've shifted around/haven't been placed well so she should talk to her Dr. if that feels like the case. Good god no! I have enough sense to not do that. She was on top trying to maneuver my dong inside her but even just the tip was a bit painful. It felt like my dong was bending a little instead of sliding in further (lube issue?). Speaking of porn I've actually watched some homemade stuff by people trying to do what they do in professional porn without all the preparations and repeated takes and practice and so on. At best it looks awkward and unappealing and at worst it was so awful and unpleasant I couldn't even bear watching.  (I decided to stop watching porn a few weeks ago and apart from one or two occasions I've managed to fine so far.) AlbieQuirky posted:The lube on a condom is rarely enough lube, especially for a first time when both partners might be tense. How is a condom used correctly? Don't you just open it carefully, figure out which way is up and roll it on? Oh nevermind there was an article on that site. Perfect. I did look at that site a while back when it was mentioned but I was so overwhelmed by it all and the stress and anxiety so I couldn't handle reading much and then completely forgot it existed.
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Apr 6, 2019 22:16
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Poil posted:Thanks. 18% failure rate sounds alarmingly high, so I assume I don't understand it correctly. Almost one out five times it doesn't work? I believe the failure rate is much lower with the "if used correctly" caveat, and the 18% bit is recognition that people frequently misuse them.
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Apr 6, 2019 22:40
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Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
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Ah that makes sense, thank you.
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Apr 6, 2019 23:05
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PittTheElder posted:I believe the failure rate is much lower with the "if used correctly" caveat, and the 18% bit is recognition that people frequently misuse them. I'm pretty sure that failure rates for methods of contraception are calculated over the course of a year, and they don't count as failing unless a pregnancy arises.
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Apr 6, 2019 23:05
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Jedit posted:I'm pretty sure that failure rates for methods of contraception are calculated over the course of a year, and they don't count as failing unless a pregnancy arises. Yeah, an 18% failure rate doesn't mean there's an 18% chance of pregnancy every single time you have sex, just that if you use that as your sole method of contraception and you're an average person who doesn't always use contraception exactly as directed, that's the chance of a pregnancy happening within a year. (For comparison, the pregnancy rate for regular unprotected sex over the course of a year is about 85% for a couple in their twenties.)
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Apr 7, 2019 01:41
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Qubee posted:this is both confusing and worrying. sometimes she is incredibly tight but we're both super comfortable and relaxed around each other. she is also looser sometimes whilst we're both still very comfortable and relaxed. I'm just trying to understand what is behind the different levels of tightness I experience. like this morning, we were having sex, it was good, we were both into it. she was loose to begin with but as things progressed, she got really tight, and then loose again after another 5 minutes. I just want to know if there's anything I can do to control this.
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Apr 7, 2019 01:51
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bowmore posted:I don’t think there is anything you can do to control her tightness, no OP, have you tried doing it in a sunken tub? Preferably one with pebbles around it?
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Apr 7, 2019 01:54
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bowmore posted:I don’t think there is anything you can do to control her tightness, no This. Bodies are fuckin weird, man.  That being said, certain positions will tense up different muscles and have an effect. Try either doggie or having her wrap her legs around your waist.
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Apr 7, 2019 02:01
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gariig posted:Buy lube and use a little bit. Neither of you are failures if you need lube, it's completely normal. KY or whatever is at your local drug store is fine, you can head to a sex store later (or online) and buy better stuff if you want. Have fun, sex is awkward Is there a single widely recommended lubricant? I was thinking about acquiring some new stuff, but shut down after seeing all the kinds available on Amazon.
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Apr 7, 2019 17:34
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As with most things, different people get on with different products. You can usually find websites that will do you a few sample-sized ones so you can experiment. I had a friend who used to buy ID Glide whenever we were in the Netherlands because he couldn't find any in the UK - people can, as with any product, be really loyal when something works well for them!
Bollock Monkey fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Apr 7, 2019 |
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Apr 7, 2019 19:10
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John Lee posted:Is there a single widely recommended lubricant? I was thinking about acquiring some new stuff, but shut down after seeing all the kinds available on Amazon. I quite like Sliquid, since it's plant-based, doesn't taste or smell weird (or at all, really), and is just generally pleasant to use. I've had to dig a bit to find it outside the US, however. It's water-based, so it might not last quite as long as some alternatives, but it's been a good addition.
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Apr 7, 2019 20:25
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Hollow Talk posted:Sliquid I use this and the last time I accidentally got some on my hardwood floor. I slipped on it the next day and nearly broke my neck. A+, would nearly die again.
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Apr 8, 2019 01:32
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Sliquid is 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼 although sometimes I find the smell cloying. Go with a thicker “plushier” one rather than a runnier “slipperier” one to start (or get both) I find it’s more versatile, easier to work with, and you’ll likely prefer it for butt stuff if you wanna do butt stuff.
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Apr 8, 2019 18:15
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Astroglide is the best easily bought lube from a drug store or other retail establishment imo. It lasts long and doesn't irritate most skin. Besides that, coconut oil is best if you aren't using condoms. Sliquid has like 19 different styles of lube if you're going online for your stuff, all of which are very good and cool.
Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Apr 8, 2019 |
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Apr 8, 2019 19:53
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Astroglide gets tacky and needs lots of reapplication in my experience
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Apr 8, 2019 20:18
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I've had no issues with Astroglide wearing out, but the only problem I have with the stuff is the texture feels slightly odd and off-putting sometimes, especially compared to coconut oil or a higher-end lube. But it's way better than KY or whatever other crap you find at CVS or Walmart to pick up on the fly.
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Apr 8, 2019 21:01
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Sliquid organics natural lube is good and is glycerin and paraben free, so it isn't sickly sweet and tacky, though it doesn't last as long as normal water based stuff. Shibari hemp is another one I like.
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Apr 8, 2019 21:13
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:Astroglide is the best easily bought lube from a drug store or other retail establishment imo. In my entire adult life you are the first person I have ever seen recommend Astroglide who was not also selling it. Is Aqualube still on the market? That was always the go-to suggestion when someone did ask about Astroglide.
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Apr 8, 2019 22:55
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AstroGlide is awful, but im so poor i have to use KY so what do I know.
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Apr 8, 2019 23:03
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The person looking for lube advice isn't looking for the maximum lube experience, they just need to know what brands to look for in the drug stores near them. Compared to no lube, pretty much anything you can find will be a huge improvement. Don't overthink it.
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Apr 9, 2019 00:09
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I have not seen any lube in grocery stores but Apotek seems to stock a good selection. There's a lot of durex brand stuff if anyone has opinions. If you're in the Stockholm area Pistil is a pretty good sex shop and the lady we talked to was really nice and knowledgeable as well. https://www.apotekhjartat.se/produkter/sex-lust/glidmedel/
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Apr 10, 2019 01:22
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Xun posted:I have not seen any lube in grocery stores but Apotek seems to stock a good selection. There's a lot of durex brand stuff if anyone has opinions. If you're in the Stockholm area Pistil is a pretty good sex shop and the lady we talked to was really nice and knowledgeable as well. but for some reason they haven't shut down the local Apotek... yet... so I'll take a look.
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Apr 10, 2019 07:27
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I've used lotion, Vaseline intensive care - aloe soother for solo purposes. It's water based, so I'd expect it to play nice with latex condoms. Am I correct ? Of course, coconut oil is going to taste better than just about anything else, so that's another big plus in its favor.
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Apr 10, 2019 07:45
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How much like coconut does it taste like? I don't like coconut.  Water-based for condoms, check.
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Apr 10, 2019 10:13
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Poil posted:How much like coconut does it taste like? I don't like coconut. There's refined and unrefined coconut oils, one tastes much less like coconuts than the other. I forget which is which off the top of my head. Also you probably won't be tasting it that much so I wouldn't worry? Even if I go down on my partner after we've used it I rarely even notice the flavour.
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Apr 10, 2019 11:54
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Actual coconut makes me dry heave but I have no problem with coconut oil so it's probably fine, unless you hate it more than I do, which is impossible
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Apr 10, 2019 14:08
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Even the hipster-approved 100% organic fair trade cold press stuff only faintly tastes of coconut. Start with a small tub of it, try it - if it works for you buy in larger quantities for volume savings.
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Apr 10, 2019 16:18
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Coconut bits / flavour makes me feel nauseous (probably an allergy), but coconut oil is delicious and I've never had issues. Don't knock it til you try it, I guess is what I'm trying to say. But then again, coconut oil is kinda expensive, so seems like a dumb purchase to make if you're not 100% on whether you'll be able to deal with the taste.
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Apr 10, 2019 16:18
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I'll give Sliquid a try, thanks for the replies. We're using Astroglide right now, and it's actually pretty decent... compared to the KY we were using before, anyways. We actually have some liquid coconut oil around here, which isn't as supernaturally slippery as we'd prefer, but it DOES last for a while.
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Apr 11, 2019 01:16
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We use this, which is fractionated coconut oil. It has 0 coconut flavor or taste, isn't water-based so it lasts, and it has a pump so you don't have to fumble. It's also not explicitly "SEX LUBE" so it doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
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Apr 11, 2019 05:04
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marchantia posted:The person looking for lube advice isn't looking for the maximum lube experience, they just need to know what brands to look for in the drug stores near them. Compared to no lube, pretty much anything you can find will be a huge improvement. Don't overthink it. This is true. I bought Durex lube and it's way way better than no lube. Felt good and surprisingly lasted a long time. Just has a weird slightly bitter / battery taste to it. It's a stopgap until I find the ultimate lube
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Apr 11, 2019 14:26
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Just be careful with cheaper lube that has parabens in it as it can cause irritation in some people.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:03
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Liquid Silk is good.
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Apr 13, 2019 09:28
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Any good Strats for eating pussy? I mostly do ordinary things like rubbing my face in it, breathing on it and doing the alphabet with my tongue. Hoping to pick up some Strats that I can use "in the bedroom".
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Apr 15, 2019 04:47
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spb posted:Any good Strats for eating pussy? I mostly do ordinary things like rubbing my face in it, breathing on it and doing the alphabet with my tongue. Hoping to pick up some Strats that I can use "in the bedroom".
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Apr 15, 2019 04:56
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