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heaven forbid a guy not want his brother to police whether or not he is allowed to bang a chick who's into him
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Apr 24, 2019 21:00
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Okay now this thread is getting silly
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Apr 24, 2019 21:02
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DemoneeHo posted:Q5. Dated since high school. She wanted us to join the Army together. I threw away a scholarship to enlist with her. The day we were supposed to sign up, she got pinkeye so I went alone. I get deployed and find out she NEVER signed up, just lied to get rid of me. Help. #SBCCHAT Holy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck lmao
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Apr 24, 2019 21:02
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THOT PATROL posted:it’s me, I’m the idiot You're the one arguing her brother in law's family gets to control her sex life on her sister's wedding day. It's creepy and weird that anyone, including you, feels the need to be so controlling of either of them. Especially when after this many pages you still can't articulate why he's wrong or his brother's request is in any way reasonable beyond attempts at slut shaming the dude. Soylent Pudding fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Apr 24, 2019 |
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Apr 24, 2019 21:04
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I think not sleeping with a girl I like is a much larger ask than explaining why you feel I shouldn't. If my brother wasn't able or willing to do the latter for me then there's no way I'd do the former for them.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:06
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I missed the part of the story where the newly married couple's wedding rings started smoking and burning through their fingers, the acrid stench of sizzling flesh filling the honeymoon suite, the brother screaming "I told him not to slake his thirst!"
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Apr 24, 2019 21:11
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The way OP describes things and how weirdly pushy the father and brother are in that story makes he think he’s distorting or omitting something
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Apr 24, 2019 21:11
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THOT PATROL posted:unless, of course, you read the story and naturally identify with the guy who lets his dick run his life
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Apr 24, 2019 21:14
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Clark Nova posted:The way OP describes things and how weirdly pushy the father and brother are in that story makes he think he’s distorting or omitting something The father and brother basically think he's committing incest is why they are so against it. They literally told him that it looks and feels "wrong".
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Apr 24, 2019 21:14
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Leon Einstein posted:What a misogynistic way to think. The sister wanted to gently caress too, yet you're putting it all on the guy. Well I mean they are arguing that you have to ask the brother first and the girl doesn’t actually get a say in it so......
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Apr 24, 2019 21:15
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Marrying your sister in law is actually pretty cool and streamlines a lot of family activities. It's like a family-tree zipper-merge.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:15
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Renegret posted:Okay now this thread is getting silly Now?!
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Apr 24, 2019 21:16
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Clark Nova posted:The way OP describes things and how weirdly pushy the father and brother are in that story makes he think he’s distorting or omitting something If that were the case then I don't think the new wife would be in favor of them dating. But she is. Unless she has never met the OP, and the OP's brother has just never ever mentioned the fact that his brother is a notorious slut that leaves a trail of broken hearts in his wake, I think she and her sister who is also the one consenting would have some idea if there was a problem.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:18
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Baronjutter posted:Marrying your sister in law is actually pretty cool and streamlines a lot of family activities. It's like a family-tree zipper-merge. Unless by sister in law you mean your wife’s sister. Then it is only okay under special circumstance like those of my great great grandfather who did just that (Mormon).
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Apr 24, 2019 21:19
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Double sibling marriages aren’t too uncommon. And they used to be even more common in smaller towns back when everyone had large families. There was even a case of identical twins marrying another pair of identical twins. Genetically, their kids are all siblings rather than cousins.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:21
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Soylent Pudding posted:You're the one arguing her brother in law's family gets to control her sex life on her sister's wedding day. oh my god are y’all being deliberately obtuse this guy is getting married, and statistically speaking they’re likely to want babies, and this guy’s focus today is thinking about the best nicest parts of that, and when his younger brother, who he does NOT have a great relationship with, is ~really getting along with~ the bride’s sister, he pictures a future that is not very nice, wherein his brother and sister-in-law gently caress for six months and then flame out dramatically after his brother does some dumb poo poo, or whatever, and that is not what he wants to think about when he pictures them as Uncle Bro and Aunt Sis someday this is why weddings are drama machines, they are connected to a bunch of big important stuff. this is why people often have giant fights at the last minute where a bunch of bottled-up poo poo comes out in poorly-expressed ways, like “don’t be selfish as a brother for once, please just leave her alone today” for the record, I DO think the guy getting married was being controlling and communicated very poorly, I just also think reddit OP responded poorly the request to “be careful about how you proceed, because if this goes badly, it could cause a lot of pain for me & my wife” is totally reasonable. how the guy expressed it [don’t gently caress her today/leave her alone] was unreasonable. it’s not hard, if you have a bit of emotional intelligence and value the relationship, to back-burner the whole “loving your new sister-in-law” thing for a week so you can talk to your brother about it again when he’s calmer. and finally, i have zero thoughts about HER ACTUAL SEX LIFE, she can do whatever she wants and she did and that’s great!! I hope their loving doesn’t go south in six months and cause a bunch of drama in their siblings’ new marriage! but if it does, well, she’s 20 so whatever she made a mistake, and he was specifically requested not to do so by his brother & did it anyway, so he’s kind of an rear end in a top hat Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I think not sleeping with a girl I like is a much larger ask than explaining why you feel I shouldn't. If my brother wasn't able or willing to do the latter for me then there's no way I'd do the former for them. I’m sorry that you can only have relationships with people at least as emotionally intelligent as you, and that you would be unwilling to not sleep with a girl you like FOR A WEEK for the sake of your “good” relationship with your brother, reddit OP Clark Nova posted:The way OP describes things and how weirdly pushy the father and brother are in that story makes he think he’s distorting or omitting something this is literally all I started off by saying but apparently I am a woman-hating repressive controlling prude for following that train of thought out to what he’s distorting/omitting, and thinking that “perhaps his brother had his own valid reasons for snapping in that way during a stressful time”
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Apr 24, 2019 21:21
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AITA for saying that if a girl doesn’t want men staring at her then she should change how she dresses? Let me just say this first: I am NOT victim blaming or saying that girls deserve harassment or anything of the like based on what they are wearing. I’m not saying that at all. So I was out on Saturday night with some friends. We were just having drinks at a pub, nothing crazy. At one point in the night a super attractive girl walked by and I won’t lie i stared as she walked by because she was wearing super tight jeans and a low cut top. One of my good female friends, who always calls me out on my bs, smacked the side of my arm and said it was gross how men stare at women when they walk by and that women aren’t pieces of meat. I was pretty tipsy by this point and I said that “If she didn’t want people to stare at her like that then why would she wear that outfit? I mean isn’t that the point? If she didn’t want to be stared at then maybe she should wear something else.” My friend got super pissed at me and said that she thought that “I was better than that” and that I was victim blaming. She said that some women wear those clothes to make themselves feel better and not to get attention. I tried to explain that I wasn’t victim blaming at all but why else would she dress like that besides wanting people to look at her? And even if she was dressing like that to feel good about herself, she should still expect people to look. We went back and forth like this for a while before I had to go to the bathroom and it didn’t come up again that night. My friend is still pissed at me (in a more light hearted way though) and she says that I need to “change my perspective”. I really do get some of what she’s saying but I also think that I’m not entirely out of line on this. So AITA for staring and saying that she should wear something different if she doesn’t want to get looked at?
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Apr 24, 2019 21:22
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AITA for making someone realize he is poor? So, this was another incident back in high school. I was standing in the lunch line with this kid, Eric. Eric was your typical burnout, and we rarely if ever interacted. I only mention him being a burnout because he was known for the typical schtick of giving people a hard time for trying at anything. As I pay for my meal, Eric starts openly mocking me for having to pay $5 for my meal. Like legit "haha, you have to pay for lunches! That's hilarious. I get my breakfast and lunch for free!" Eric is part of the free/subsidized meal program at the school, as evidenced by how the lunch lady rings it up. He makes a few more jabs, and his friend Grant laughs along. I'm getting tired of this and just want to eat my pizza in peace, so I ask him, "Are you actually bragging about your family not having enough money to feed you? If that's supposed to make me feel bad, it doesn't." A couple nearby kids started laughing at him. Eric got mad, swore at me, then walked away. Two lunch ladies started yelling at me for being rude. Apparently Eric had never realized what the free/subisized meal program was and had just assumed he won some prize for free food. Turns out he was pretty devastated by this realization and was tearing up during his next class. I guess his family had done a good job hiding their financial situation from him. The vice principal ended up casually talking to me about the issue, saying I wasn't in any trouble but that I should think about things from his point of view and be a little more understanding of other people's financial situations. She understood I wasn't intending to make fun of Eric for being poor, but that it came off that way to him. I brought the situation up with my friends after school and they were split on whether I was being rude or if Eric deserved it. So, AITA?
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Apr 24, 2019 21:23
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You are a giant weirdo who can’t seem to make a coherent point is more the problem I think.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:24
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Why are you acting like them loving is somehow going to have disastrous consequences 6 months down the line?
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Apr 24, 2019 21:24
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There's a weird agency thing here where this is described as the brother who hosed the sister in law because he put his dick where he wanted when he wanted, etc. But there's also a sister who hosed the brother in law because she wanted something put inside her, etc. Like, both people wanted to gently caress. It's not "defending a man's right to put his dick where he wants." It's defending two consenting adults rights to smash when they want. Describing the man as the only active participant weirdly and grossly erases the woman's sexuality in the story. Ultimately I think Jeffrey has this right. Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I think not sleeping with a girl I like is a much larger ask than explaining why you feel I shouldn't. If my brother wasn't able or willing to do the latter for me then there's no way I'd do the former for them.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:26
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Leon Einstein posted:Why are you acting like them loving is somehow going to have disastrous consequences 6 months down the line? It’s also not the reasoning they have given so it’s a weird way to put it.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:26
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for saying that if a girl doesn’t want men staring at her then she should change how she dresses? I hate these guys, mostly because I used to believe this line of thought myself. Because it excused a lovely behavior I wanted to engage in.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:28
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Eh, there's a ton of people that would find it gross to have family members sleep together, regardless of if they're not blood related I thought gbs hated anime
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Apr 24, 2019 21:30
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Cat Army
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Give it another page and THOT PATROL will just start replying to everything with "A PLAGUE ON BOTH THEIR HOUSES"
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Apr 24, 2019 21:30
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Miserable Maid posted:Eh, there's a ton of people that would find it gross to have family members sleep together, regardless of if they're not blood related Only extremely online care about people that are technically related for all of 20 minutes
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Apr 24, 2019 21:31
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Some women do like dressing so men will check them out. That doesn't mean men are free to ogle.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:34
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Miserable Maid posted:Eh, there's a ton of people that would find it gross to have family members sleep together, regardless of if they're not blood related They aren't related at all though. Like the girl isn't the dude's sister in law even, she's his sister in law's sister. In law only goes to one degree of separation.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:36
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so let’s say that the OP had actually done the thing I recommended, which is to give her more information and ask to postpone briefly can someone explain to me how that TAKES AWAY agency from the chick she is able to give more informed consent, and is given the option to take a moment to consider her new brother-in-law’s wishes, as well as ponder the knowledge that his own brother has concerns she can absolutely still say “ok, I don’t care, meet me in the bathroom in 5 you stud”, and that puts him at a different decision-point, and they’re still the active consenting parties I guess I also just assumed if I was that chick I’d say “okay, cool, here’s my number” and go off to celebrate with my sister, but then again she hosed him after his dad dragged him away from her, so... actually, yeah, I did have an incorrect assumption about the post in that regard based on my own biases, so I was wrong on that point? Nessa posted:Double sibling marriages aren’t too uncommon. And they used to be even more common in smaller towns back when everyone had large families. oh absolutely! but it’s 2019 now and we have tinder and people move a lot more to farther locations, so just like there are a lot more people marrying later, or remarrying, there are less of these marriages of semi-convenience where there’s a small social circle and everyone tends to settle down young. this is also why a 24-year-old and a 20-year-old are far less likely to stay together if they have relationship problems, such as the brother being a gigantic manwhore, or kind of an rear end in a top hat, or chewing loudly in a way everyone hates, or whatever might have been bottled up at the back of the groom’s head that he very poorly expressed by trying to control his brother Pope Corky the IX posted:Give it another page and THOT PATROL will just start replying to everything with "A PLAGUE ON BOTH THEIR HOUSES" I mean, yes, generally I think all people are dumb idiots who will gently caress up their lives & the lives of those they love, including r/relationships posters specifically 
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Apr 24, 2019 21:40
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Leon Einstein posted:Some women do like dressing so men will check them out. That doesn't mean men are free to ogle. that was actually the top comment, that there's a difference between looking and leering. I don't think anyone is going to be mad that a guy doesn't immediately cover his eyes with a blindfold when an attractive woman walks by, but visibly staring – long enough for your friends to see – is gross.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:40
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Miserable Maid posted:Eh, there's a ton of people that would find it gross to have family members sleep together, regardless of if they're not blood related
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Apr 24, 2019 21:41
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the only coherent part of this post is that he really doesn't have as good a relationship with his brother as he thought which makes his request all the more unreasonable, so gently caress him (by loving his sister-in-law)
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Apr 24, 2019 21:45
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I’m not sure you know how consent works. Telling her how other people feel about it doesn’t make it more consensual.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:46
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Anne Whateley posted:Ugh, you guys. The SIL's family is werewolves or vampires. That's why her family is down with them getting together, because they want to convert more people. The bride already infected the groom, which is why they're marrying and why the groom's family is so serious about the brother not getting involved, but not telling him why. Holy poo poo, Anne Whateley made me laugh. E: army owned goon, although it was one of those hyper condensed Twitter posts, may break into my top ten.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:49
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My brother met his very serious long-term girlfriend at his best friend's wedding, so it's like the most normal thing in the world to meet your partner at a wedding.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:52
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I desperately need help diffusing a situation between my bride and her father...three days before the wedding. [Me:35/M Her:34/F Him:67/M, we have been dating for 2 years] [new] submitted an hour ago by Rev_DC quote:So, my fiancee has been dealing with the loss of her mom, sixteen months ago. Wedding planning has been very hard for her because of the loss of her mother, and things seemed relatively normal until about a month ago when her dad announced that he was dating a woman (who has been a family friend of theirs for ~40 years). They have been moving incredibly quickly, and he's acting like an infatuated teenager with this new woman... as in, he's a loose cannon. Seriously, he's already talked about proposing. An aside, her dad is otherwise a great guy.
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Apr 24, 2019 21:57
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Blade Runner posted:What is actually going on here Yeah, either the groom and father set some arbitrary boundary and got really uptight about it, or the dude has a history of broken relationships and they didn't want him to gently caress up things with the new in-laws. Keep in mind who's telling the story and could be leaving out important details. With the info provided, seems like he did nothing wrong. If he's not disclosing that his family has been dealing with angry and hurt women since he started dating...
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Apr 24, 2019 21:57
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I’m very cross that no one is agreeing with me. Perhaps a few dozen more posts will remedy this unfortunate situation.
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Apr 24, 2019 22:01
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Again, if the brother is an rear end in a top hat, the bride and the groom and father should have warned the sister. She actively perused the guy after being ignored. Also, some break ups are amicable. And there is nothing to indicate this relationship might fail or succeed, ignoring how weird the male side of the family is.
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Apr 24, 2019 22:02
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Straight White Shark posted:the only coherent part of this post is that he really doesn't have as good a relationship with his brother as he thought yes, I literally started with “I don’t find him to be a reliable narrator as far as emotions and relationships go”, that was basically what I was expressing then I also considered the possibility that the groom had any sort of valid concern about his brother’s level of respect for his new family, the family that he is forming with the ceremony on this day, which would make sense if the relationship is not as good and the OP is not as good a guy as he claims now I’m a misogynist, and I don’t understand consent because I personally value the wants and needs of those I care for during emotionally charged times, and would want to know as much as possible about my new BIL’s brother before getting too involved with him so as to avoid hurting my sister’s feelings down the line, which again, was apparently a mistaken assumption about this chick
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Apr 24, 2019 22:03
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