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Don Gato posted:Every fantasy hero should ride an alpaca, they're like horses except super fluffy and unable to carry people. They'd just have to be giant dire alpaca instead of regular alpaca. 
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Jun 1, 2019 10:29
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Siivola posted:An important part of fantasy is contrasting the fantastical with something familiar. Being War-of-Roses-by-way-of-Shakespeare, Game of Thrones uses a lot of medieval-ish aesthetic (and very modern cynicism) to make the setting seem ~gritty and real~, and that's what makes the magic and the dragons pop. The more historical minutia you learn, the less well the "realistic" parts work and that can really hamper engaging with the spectacle. That's why it's important for fiction to be internally consistent, so as long as the fake "realism" isn't changing from chapter to chapter, it's OK. I've long since learned to mentally tune an author out as soon as he/she starts talking about having "realism" in their works since I consider that quite frankly impossible for a fictional work. Makes reading fantasy a lot more enjoyable! But I understand this feeling, it always hits me if I encounter Science Fiction that openly challenges what I know about physics too hard. There was some weird series about people living on neutron stars, which in that particular universe were just tiny planets you could walk on. That was so absurd I couldn't get into it. If the author had labelled it fantasy instead, my dumb brain would have been able to just accept this nonsense.
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Jun 1, 2019 12:03
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i remember reading a book that tried to create neutrino-based sentient beings who lived on a neutron star, and there were human scientists orbiting them, wonder if it's the same thing also i like how in that one belisarius-in-spaaace series everybody rides gigantic dogs they forgot were genetically modified and nobody's ever heard of a horse, which i don't think is ever fully explained. it's kind of a 'jon snow on an alpaca' scenario but i guess cooler because gigantic dogs can bite things
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Jun 1, 2019 12:07
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oystertoadfish posted:i remember reading a book that tried to create neutrino-based sentient beings who lived on a neutron star, and there were human scientists orbiting them, wonder if it's the same thing Nah, that series I'm talking about had people literally have neutron stars like their own private condos. They could walk literally over them without protection. There also maybe some kind of monarchy involved, because I remember a prince being a protagonist? Those other stories about neutron stars at least tried to remember facts about neutron stars, instead of inventing their own fantasy thing and labeling it "genuine real neutron stars"
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Jun 1, 2019 12:14
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Don Gato posted:Every fantasy hero should ride an alpaca, they're like horses except super fluffy and unable to carry people. They'd just have to be giant dire alpaca instead of regular alpaca. Now I'm imagining a knock-off GoT that is a grimdark retelling of the Punic Wars instead of the War of the Roses, with Hannibal crossing the Alps on dire alpacas, played completely straight. Just absolutely s/elephants/"dire alpacas" and film it.
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Jun 1, 2019 12:48
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Libluini posted:there's no reason to get mad at them for historical accuracy reasons, so what did you not like about the costumes? To pick one example, armour's effectiveness and wearability is determined by physics not fashion. So eg a fantasy show with skimpy boob cleavage corset armour is unrealististic on the face of it regardless of historical period.
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Jun 1, 2019 13:52
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Rodrigo Diaz posted:for the same reason knighthood is completely implausible. Um is it? I've literally met one 
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Jun 1, 2019 13:59
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chitoryu12 posted:It's pretty safe to say that anyone who demands a monarchy replace a republic is just a fascist in different clothing. I mean we did that in 1660 and the result didn't end up being 
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Jun 1, 2019 14:09
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Speaking of "getting angry at TV depictions of armour", the new Goon Omens miniseries on amazon has a throwaway scene in 6th-century Britain with Crowley and Aziraphale both wearing full-plate armour. Can we all agree that is the worst?
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Jun 1, 2019 14:17
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Now that it’s wrapped I’m finally starting to watch GoT, I just bought S2. Are the best years of codpieces past me or is greatness still to come? Also: tiddies
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Jun 1, 2019 14:19
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feedmegin posted:To pick one example, armour's effectiveness and wearability is determined by physics not fashion. So eg a fantasy show with skimpy boob cleavage corset armour is unrealististic on the face of it regardless of historical period. Oh, that sort of thing! Yeah that's always been dumb. If I'd ever find that in a book I would just switch my lighter on and burn it then and there.
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Jun 1, 2019 14:22
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Libluini posted:Nah, that series I'm talking about had people literally have neutron stars like their own private condos. They could walk literally over them without protection. There also maybe some kind of monarchy involved, because I remember a prince being a protagonist? In fairness, Le Petit Prince isn't really trying to be accurate science fiction.
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Jun 1, 2019 14:26
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feedmegin posted:Um is it? I've literally met one When the Queen calls, is he ready to ride to war on his own MBT raised from his fief?
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Jun 1, 2019 15:41
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sullat posted:When the Queen calls, is he ready to ride to war on his own MBT raised from his fief? The British Army is cutting back to 150 tanks. Given the number of knights is (according to an old article) "about 3000" there aren't even close to enough tanks, even if you make them take all of the crew positions.
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Jun 1, 2019 16:18
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Well I think knights had to provide a certain number of horses based on their holding right? That can be converted into horsepower which can be converted into tanks owed to teh realm right?
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Jun 1, 2019 16:22
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Cessna posted:The British Army is cutting back to 150 tanks. It'd be nice if we could cut that down even more so we aren't tempted to join in any more overseas jollies
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Jun 1, 2019 16:35
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Marxist-Jezzinist posted:It'd be nice if we could cut that down even more so we aren't tempted to join in any more overseas jollies I don't think anything will stop the brits from getting tanked overseas
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Jun 1, 2019 16:47
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Schadenboner posted:Well I think knights had to provide a certain number of horses based on their holding right? That can be converted into horsepower which can be converted into tanks owed to teh realm right? Someone gonna run a dope future/post apoc rpg campaign off this
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Jun 1, 2019 17:05
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nrook posted:In fairness, Le Petit Prince isn't really trying to be accurate science fiction. Very funny
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Jun 1, 2019 17:06
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Schadenboner posted:Well I think knights had to provide a certain number of horses based on their holding right? That can be converted into horsepower which can be converted into tanks owed to teh realm right? I really don't think it would be a great idea to give Mogg/Boris crew training and access to tanks.
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Jun 1, 2019 17:16
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oystertoadfish posted:i remember reading a book that tried to create neutrino-based sentient beings who lived on a neutron star, and there were human scientists orbiting them, wonder if it's the same thing Dragon's Egg by Robert Forward
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Jun 1, 2019 18:00
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If you broke down Germany and surrounding polities back into their HRE political borders how many of the entities could afford a tank?
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Jun 1, 2019 18:14
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feedmegin posted:Um is it? I've literally met one Elton John?
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Jun 1, 2019 18:21
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aphid_licker posted:If you broke down Germany and surrounding polities back into their HRE political borders how many of the entities could afford a tank? You only need enough tanks to fight off the quilt piece next door
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Jun 1, 2019 18:22
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Milo and POTUS posted:Elton John? Would there be enough glitter in all of England to coat his tank?
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Jun 1, 2019 18:25
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SeanBeansShako posted:I really don't think it would be a great idea to give Mogg/Boris crew training and access to tanks.  both of those dips loving wish they were peers who might hypothetically be called upon to raise troops for HRH. The only one who is even tangentially kinda in the peerage is Mogg, and his dad was named a life peer, aka a non-inheritable title.
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Jun 1, 2019 18:28
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If you watch world of tanks while saturday nights alright is playing, a funny thing happens
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Jun 1, 2019 18:55
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aphid_licker posted:If you broke down Germany and surrounding polities back into their HRE political borders how many of the entities could afford a tank? What year of hre borders, and do you count imperial knights as separate entities? feedmegin posted:Um is it? I've literally met one Lol you asked for it quote:They are not all good knights who ride upon horses; neither are they all knights to whom the king gives arms. They have the name but they do not pursue the calling. For since noble knighthood is of all offices the most honourable, all men desire to be uplifted to this honour; they wear the mantle and bear the name but they do not observe the rule of life. They are not knights but phantoms and apostates. The cowl does not make the monk but the monk the cowl. Many are called and few chosen. There is not, and there should in no wise be, among all estates, an estate honoured as is this: since those of common and mean estate eat their bread at ease; they have soft garments and savory meats, easy and scented beds; they go to sleep in peace and arise without fear; enjoy their pleasures in fair houses with their wives and children and with many men to do their will; they become thick-necked and paunchy; they love their little bodies and cherish them delicately and live in delights. What guerdon our what honours do they deserve? None, nay, none. Knights who are at the wars eat their bread in sorrow; their ease is weariness and sweat; they have one good day after many bad; they are vowed to all manner of labour; they are for ever swallowing their fear; they expose themselves to every peril; they give their bodies up to the adventure of life in death. Mouldy bread or biscuit, meat cooked or uncooked; to-day enough to eat and to-morrow nothing, little or no wine, water from a pond or a butt, bad quarters, the shelter of a tent or branches, a bad bed, poor sleep with their armour still on their backs, burdened with iron, the enemy an arrow-shot off. “Ware! Who goes there? To arms! To arms!” With the first drowsiness, an alarm; at dawn, the trumpet. “To horse! To horse! Muster! Muster!” As look-outs, as sentinels, keeping watch by day and by night, fighting without cover, as foragers, as scouts, guard after guard, duty after duty. “Here they come! Here! They are so many–No, not as many as that–This way–that–Come this side–Press them there–News! News! They come back hurt, they have prisoners– no, they bring none back. Let us go! Let us go! Give no ground! On!” Such is their calling; a life of great fatigues, bereft of all ease.
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Jun 1, 2019 19:04
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quote:water from a pond or a butt Milhist Thread Part the IVth: water from a pond or a butt
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Jun 1, 2019 19:12
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step back, ladies and gentlemen *puts on gloves* it's my job *gets water from a butt*
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Jun 1, 2019 19:22
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I think I saw one History youtuber make a compelling argument for me that boob plate isn't really unrealistic because *if* you had a large number of female knights or lords riding into combat on the regular throughout history then they'd like their male counterparts request custom armor that looked good no? This makes sense to me; men and women equally like to look ~fabulous~, men liked to look cool/rad/totes fab into combat why wouldn't women in an alternate history where catholic europe went completely enatic and were equally likely to sign up in merc companies? On a separate note insofar monarchies go, I forget where I read this, where some traveller is in some Kingdom ruled by a Queen and he asks the locals what they think and they're totes cool with it because, "When the Queen has a child you know it's the Queen's child." I thought this made sense; better to have a matriarchy if you have a monarchy to avoid a lot of the issues of succession.
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Jun 1, 2019 20:23
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Raenir Salazar posted:I think I saw one History youtuber make a compelling argument I don't believe you.
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Jun 1, 2019 20:31
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Raenir Salazar posted:I think I saw one History youtuber make a compelling argument for me that boob plate isn't really unrealistic because *if* you had a large number of female knights or lords riding into combat on the regular throughout history then they'd like their male counterparts request custom armor that looked good no? This makes sense to me; men and women equally like to look ~fabulous~, men liked to look cool/rad/totes fab into combat why wouldn't women in an alternate history where catholic europe went completely enatic and were equally likely to sign up in merc companies? The big thing that would not be done for anything serious (or by sane people, idiots exist across the ages) would be actually having cleavage since that is just a trap to catch incoming weapons and aim the force right into your chest. If women were in armor often they would 100% have it custom fitted to their body and you could still show a woman's form without the extent fantasy takes it.
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Jun 1, 2019 20:32
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That being said, a lot of what we think of as “plate armor” was probably semi- or full ceremonial fairly early on. Like that guy a few pages ago (Netherlander maybe?) so in this hypothetical past you would probably see identifiably female (but non-boobplate) functional armor and then ceremonial armor that was the equivalent of Marie Antoinette’s hair only with metal and d-cups (although sartorial history is reflective of gender power dynamics so in this less patriarchal version of the past who knows what her hair would look like).
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Jun 1, 2019 20:38
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Schadenboner posted:That being said, a lot of what we think of as “plate armor” was probably semi- or full ceremonial fairly early on. Like that guy a few pages ago (Netherlander maybe?) so in this hypothetical past you would probably see identifiably female (but non-boobplate) functional armor and then ceremonial armor that was the equivalent of Marie Antoinette’s hair only with metal and d-cups (although sartorial history is reflective of gender power dynamics so in this less patriarchal version of the past who knows what her hair would look like). Jesus H. Tittyfucking Christ weeping on the cross am I ashamed to have strung together this many words about boobplate. 
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Jun 1, 2019 20:39
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I had my first fencing class today and the women's boob protector looks exactly like boobplate. Bit of plastic with two big ole honkin' tiddie impressions moulded into it.
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Jun 1, 2019 20:51
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Libluini posted:OK, now I'm curious. Game of Thrones is literally fantasy, there's no reason to get mad at them for historical accuracy reasons, so what did you not like about the costumes?
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Jun 1, 2019 21:09
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Don Gato posted:Every fantasy hero should ride an alpaca, they're like horses except super fluffy and unable to carry people. They'd just have to be giant dire alpaca instead of regular alpaca.
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Jun 1, 2019 21:10
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boobplate is basically what would happen in opposition to codpieces.
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Jun 1, 2019 21:12
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feedmegin posted:Um is it? I've literally met one
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Jun 1, 2019 21:13
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