|
I have refused to take SSRIs for the better part of four years because of the debilitating brain zaps I got from missing a dose. If my prescription doesn’t get filled on time I will collapse from the severity of the brain zaps. They kill my equilibrium. It was so bad that I made the choice to risk being suicidal instead.
|
#
?
May 1, 2019 13:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 20:50 |
|
|
Man, I've heard of brain zaps and I think I've had a couple in my life after some overwhelming stress and underlying fatigue got the best of my brain, but what I had sounds way better than yours. I'm sorry dude. ... I don't know where to put this but I'm just kinda looking for support; had anyone had an abusive parent? I've been going to therapy REGULARLY now, and it's helping to neutralize the past feelings about trauma that "inform" my anxieties. That being said, recently I snapped in a group text recently when my mom and her wife started chastising me for being such a terrible son for not setting up a mother's day potluck that my MOTHER IN LAW is inviting them to. When that happened it triggered really poo poo memories of my childhood, and so I straight up just told my mother that I've been avoiding her because I'm trying to process the abuse I went through for decades and how I want to move on so that we can have a better relationship as adults, but she's... Not able to understand. She thinks that what happened were "mistakes", and hasn't talked to me since Tuesday. My mother was verifiably the victim of abuse, as was my stepmom. I don't believe that excuses their actions obviously. How do you deal with feelings of attachment and obligation to your family? I have an undue amount of guilt from how I was raised towards being a "good son". Simply cutting my mom out of my life sucks, and I'm not sure I want to even do that, even if it is the "best" option. I'm working with my therapist about this too, but right now, I kinda just need to know that someone's figured this poo poo out, and I feel really isolated. CW: Child abuse, gaslighting. I was an only child in my household (I have a half sister from my father, she rules, and grew up half a country away). My mom terrorized and abused me for years. She combined irregular beatings and elaborate punishments with her pattern of convincing me that I was better off with her: she would reinforce this idea by downplaying her abuses to her less advantaged students, and telling them to convince me they would prefer my mother, who was usually their only parental figure. When my mom got married, all this escalated into a frantic irregular pattern of setting unrealistic standards of aptitude in school or at home, and when l would fail those activities, my mother would precipitate either beatings or multi hour "lectures" ( basic training yelling and occasionally slaps and spitting) from her (now long ex) wife. The abuse was impossible to end, but on the positive, really made life as a gently caress up in the Army easy, because most people don't hit you there. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 23:23 on May 3, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 3, 2019 23:17
|
|
|
Family isnt bound by blood. I dont talk to my mom because I gave her an ultimatum and she broke it. Basically, dont ghost my kids. Be in their life or dont. The last time she was here it was obvious the only reason she visited was because it helped her plans. Out of the blue asking to visit 3 weeks from the date. Doesnt even bother looking at hotels because she assumed she would stay at our place (a 2 bedroom apt with 5 family members and 2 dogs). She guilted us after spending 300 for a hotel to spend the night with us. Oh and she brought her boyfriend. She didnt mention that at ALL during the plan making process. And she was constantly asking about surfing. Not spending time with my kids. Surfing with her boyfriend. We live oceans apart. She wants to be family when its convenient for her. Not when you need support. I said 1 call a month to my kids if she wanted to stay involved and she couldnt even manage that. So now, there is one less thing to worry about. One less person I have to be uncomfortable around because I can't say what I want to say. Mine wasnt as bad as yours was, though some of your experience mimics mine. Sever the tie. Some family helps and others are like cancer. People survive cancer, but not by leaving it in. Changing is about removing yourself from negative situations and moving into mire positive ones. Keep the positive role models in your life. Leave the negative. Like who the gently caress cares if you gave birth to me. You dont loving act like it.
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2019 03:57
|
|
|
 (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2019 23:01
|
|
|
I didn't think this would have been necessary to put into words, but here goes: No shitposting in the Get Help thread.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2019 23:13
|
|
|
So, hometown got loving smashed by a tornado. Hookers parents are fine. But we still haven't heard from a couple of friends. Tonight's gonna be a rough night if people dont return some drat phone calls.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2019 23:32
|
|
|
Melthir posted:So, hometown got loving smashed by a tornado. Hookers parents are fine. But we still haven't heard from a couple of friends. Tonight's gonna be a rough night if people dont return some drat phone calls. Geezus man I’m so sorry between this and the plane crashes.
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2019 23:48
|
|
|
LingcodKilla posted:Geezus man I’m so sorry between this and the plane crashes. I'm completely out of booze, even the really good stuff....this hasn't ever really happened before and is probably a good thing.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 00:04
|
|
|
Had a significant mental break at my girlfriend's daughter's party. Thought I was enlightened and reasonable, but it turns out, I am still a broken rear end in a top hat. Don't be complacent, don't think you're good just because there's a lull. Continue with your programs. I will not recover from this and I deserve the damage, it's my own failing and now I get think about these things every day.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 03:41
|
|
|
Booger Presley posted:Had a significant mental break at my girlfriend's daughter's party. Thought I was enlightened and reasonable, but it turns out, I am still a broken rear end in a top hat. I'm saying this as someone who was raised by abuse very passionately and without any anger or judgment, but you NEVER deserve damage -- You deserve to get better. Punishment is best left for your God or a judge to handle. Please don't punish yourself for things that the world already will gladly do for you. Much love dude, I hope tomorrow is better for everyone.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 06:27
|
|
|
So I have been going to VA mental health for a few years now, but it feels like they just aren't hearing me. I have some anxiety issues that are just continuing to get worse over and over and over again. Multiplying and multiplying. And that's why I went into mental health the first place. But they just throw antidepressants at me and then finally some Xanax. This just ends up with me eating Xanax. I'm getting kind of desperate. Deployment? nothing. Coast guard, small boats, bad weather, nothing. Racing cars and motorcycles, nothing Sketchy alley confrontations in Cambodia, nothing. But the grocery store? Terrifying. The movies? Nope. an empty hardware store in the middle of the day? I'm writing this because I've been sitting in the parking lot trying to pump my self up to go in without taking a Xanax first. Or two. Or just going home. I tried yesterday and couldn't do it. I've been here a hundred times. I tell them this and they might change my antidepressants or schedule me some more therapy where they just want to work through worksheets as if this is some sort of one-size-fits-all problem. I've tried multiple different providers but they just seem to slide right back into the exact same routine. I'm not depressed. I'm scared. It's exhausting. I have significant Brain and spine damage but no matter what I do I keep getting buttonholed into PTSD or depression or both. And it's not either. It's brain damage.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 19:05
|
|
|
The easiest way to go into the store? Go into the store. I’ve adopted the Nike motto for most of the stuff like that. Pumping yourself up for it is like saying you’ll start working out on Monday. You’re just giving yourself more time to not actually accomplish anything. Just. Go. In.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 19:23
|
|
|
bird cooch posted:But the grocery store? Terrifying. The movies? Nope. an empty hardware store in the middle of the day? I'm writing this because I've been sitting in the parking lot trying to pump my self up to go in without taking a Xanax first. Or two. Or just going home. I tried yesterday and couldn't do it. I've been here a hundred times. Hey so my stuff is a little different but I highly recommend parts therapy. IDK how your therapy situation is, but it really helps to neutralize and process snap emotions like this, after some practice, I get over the Costco jitters before they happen now. I go to a civilian therapist because VA care is like talking to a brick wall. I'm sorry dude/dudette. I'm here to talk if you need it.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 19:37
|
|
|
I'll see about an in-town therapist, because I'm pretty worn out. I got them to send me to a non VA psychiatrist because it was a three-month wait to get my prescriptions renewed because I moved regions but all I ended up doing was making a 45 minutes each way drive across DFW to go get my prescriptions refilled once a month in a 30 second visit because they refused to write prescriptions for more than 1 month. So I was constantly running out of drugs. It was a pill farm set up just for this. This is just loving miserable. Physically I'm only going to get worse, and now I'm dealing with mental degradation and I'm having to navigate this mess by myself. Even with the social worker everything is so narrow. I've been in this fight for almost 10 years now and I'm just feeling so worn down. colachute posted:The easiest way to go into the store? Today I did. Took a pill first though. Sometimes I can't. bird cooch fucked around with this message at 21:17 on May 28, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 21:10
|
|
|
bird cooch posted:
Good job. Who gives a poo poo how you got it done. You got it done.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 21:53
|
|
|
bird cooch posted:So I have been going to VA mental health for a few years now, but it feels like they just aren't hearing me. I have some anxiety issues that are just continuing to get worse over and over and over again. Multiplying and multiplying. And that's why I went into mental health the first place. But they just throw antidepressants at me and then finally some Xanax. This just ends up with me eating Xanax. Never be afraid to ask to change your medication. I had near constant panic attacks and got them to mellow out with Venlafaxine. Ive tried a lot of stuff but that and pot help me significantly. The biggest thing was to change my way of thinking. I HATE talking to therapists for personal reasons and kinda had to find my own way. This led me to find ways that worked and didnt work for me. I almost never feel better about talking my problems. Changing your mindset is difficult, but it really helps. I start by asking what the root of the cause is. Why am I nervous? What is it here that scares me? Sometimes you dont know. The negative thought loop goes forward. Learn to break it. Instead of thinking about the worst outcomes, think about the possible and likely outcomes. Try to focus on logic and restrain your feelings. It is really hard to do but always give yourself a reason to move forward, not an excuse to prevent yourself from doing so. Reward small victories. One foot in front of the other, even if it is a step to the side. Meditation also really really helped me. I had been doing it wrong forever. However, once I learned the proper way, I learned how effective it is. Meditation is about clearing your mind. What I do is close my eyes and count to 4 with breathing. In 4 and out 4. I count. Every number in my head. In 2 3 4 out 2 3 4. Your mind will wander. Force it to count. In 2 3 4 out 2 3 4. Every time you catch it wandering, remember to count. Eventually, it will stop wandering and you should feel calmer. Hopefully this helps you. Also PTSD is a type of brain damage. It is not a TBI but there are reasons why depression and PTSD are taken seriously. If you have a physical brain injury, keep going back until you can get an MRI at least. Most of all, find a reason to love you for you. We treat ourselves differently when we love who we are. Soulex fucked around with this message at 23:10 on May 28, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 23:08
|
|
|
Bird Cooch - were you ever deployed to a "combat zone?" This doesn't mean did you see combat, but rather were you ever some place that's designated as such. If you did, you're a "combat veteran" and qualify for Vet Center services. Google and see if you have a local vet center. They're not a part of the VA, but they're integrated and can provide counseling and such. They don't have people there that can prescribe meds, but your VA PCM will write you an Rx for anything they recommend. I know a lot of vets that prefer the vet center vs VA for counseling and such, myself included. As far as anxiety goes, it's a motherfucker to deal with, but it's also something that is very manageable with practice. You're not good at it now, but you will be in time. Big things that help are to ground yourself. Place your feet both flat on the ground/floor. Rest your arms in a comfortable position. Take in your surroundings. Look at how no one else and no other creatures are stressed. Anxiety is your body kicking your flight or fight defense into high gear for no reason. You can help this by focusing on things that are safe and comfortable. If you have pets around, they're great for this. There is no easy and quick solution. Everything takes time and effort, but you'll be better off for it in the long run.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2019 23:57
|
|
|
bird cooch posted:So I have been going to VA mental health for a few years now, but it feels like they just aren't hearing me. I have some anxiety issues that are just continuing to get worse over and over and over again. Multiplying and multiplying. And that's why I went into mental health the first place. But they just throw antidepressants at me and then finally some Xanax. This just ends up with me eating Xanax. Hi bird cooch! I’m one of those terrible VA employees unfortunately (although I don’t work in BHC). On June 6th the Mission Act officially starts. I had to do a buttload of training on it despite not being in patient care. But as a veteran, I learned a buttload from it. One of the eligibility criteria for receiving community care can be because it’s the best medical interest of the patient (you only have to meet one of the criteria). Have a talk with your provider about it and really tell them how you don’t feel like you are getting the care you really need for your mental health and you want community care. The actual staff at your VA will make this decision - it doesn’t go to someone else who doesn’t know your situation and is just looking at your file. As an employee and a union member this is bad for us because it’s part of the big plan to privatize the VA. As a veteran, I love it because I feel hope that people with lovely VAs will get better care with more resources. Edit: information on the mission act can be found here: https://www.blogs.va.gov/VAntage/58621/new-eligibility-criteria-a-major-improvement-over-existing-rules/ Sarah fucked around with this message at 01:02 on May 29, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 00:58
|
|
|
Have they told you about MISSION/community care copays? Because that’s one of the things that caught my eye in the new legislation.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 01:33
|
|
|
bird cooch posted:I tell them this and they might change my antidepressants or schedule me some more therapy where they just want to work through worksheets as if this is some sort of one-size-fits-all problem. I've tried multiple different providers but they just seem to slide right back into the exact same routine. Hey I saw from your other post that you’re in the DFW area and I’m only a 3-hour drive from there if you need an advocate to go with you to appointments or to get out of the house. You’re not alone in your frustrations either — I’ve been fighting the VA for a decade to recognize that TBI means traditional treatments for depression/anxiety/PTSD/insomnia won’t work the same, but EVERY provider insists if the cookie-cutter doesn’t work then it must be the patient’s fault. If you need anything it’s busketposket at yahoo.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 01:44
|
|
|
Mr. Nice! posted:Have they told you about MISSION/community care copays? Because that’s one of the things that caught my eye in the new legislation. Yes, I can get more information on that if you’d like. It didn’t really jump out to me during the training that anything was extravagant. There was a very in depth training specifically for urgent care and copays. I can’t recall exactly but for service connected visits to urgent cares within the network (there’s no information on being able to search for what’s in network right now that I know of) I think the first 3 visits in a year were $0 copay, and after that it was $20-30? There was no cap on how many times you can visit an urgent care, but you eventually will pay a copay if you didn’t from the start. I don’t remember any information about community care copays that were not urgent care. Also I am totally fine with proving this information openly even though it was employee training because they told us we had to do it despite having no patient interactions in our work space because a veteran may ask us a question while we are in the cafeteria eating lunch or in the bathroom  or .... perhaps the internet!?
Sarah fucked around with this message at 01:48 on May 29, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 01:45
|
|
|
Thanks. There's a bunch oh info in there that I will look into. I checked in with my vet center after I moved but never went back. Moving from the woods outside of Seattle to Texas has been a bit of the culture shift. Sarah I don't blame the employees, I blame the system. My neuro is great, my gp is way overworked but doing the best she can. Its been a hard decade. I'd still be in. I got hurt during training and then they found something else. So I got the boot as soon as my head and neck healed. A year later I was diagnosed with progressive MS at the VA. Now I just kind of exist.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 01:53
|
|
|
One of those days. I’m depressed. I spent a lot of time laying in bed last night thinking about life. I’m just not happy. I don’t know what to do to get happy. I asked for more hours at work because, even though I wasn’t happy working the 70-80 weeks a few months ago, at least I was too tired and busy to be depressed. And boy howdy do I feel like a crybaby after typing that.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 14:01
|
|
|
colachute posted:One of those days. I’m depressed. I spent a lot of time laying in bed last night thinking about life. I’m just not happy. I don’t know what to do to get happy. I asked for more hours at work because, even though I wasn’t happy working the 70-80 weeks a few months ago, at least I was too tired and busy to be depressed. Get an assistant for Monty to train up.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 14:09
|
|
|
Mr. Nice! posted:Have they told you about MISSION/community care copays? Because that’s one of the things that caught my eye in the new legislation. So I dig through the training today because I had a lot of downtime and there was no information on copays outside of urgent care visits. I did find out how to find a provider though, it’s through va.gov/find-locations FYI to be eligible for urgent care benefit you must be an enrolled veteran who received hospital care or medical services in a VA facility or care authorized by VA and performed by a community care provider in the last 24 months. If you go to an urgent care that is out of network you will pay 100% out of pocket. Services that are included: Imaging 14 days of medications (shorter for opioids) Labs Vaccines Preventive care is not included outside of vaccines. So from the training about the pharmacy part, it sounds like it you are having an emergency and you are out of medication you can go to an urgent care and get enough to get you through. Which is a really good thing because I absolutely hate the mailing system. I’ve had multiple experiences with the USPS loving up my delivery and mailing my meds back. Another thing that I wrote down that caught my attention is that the mission act requires the VA to report to Congress which veterans are eligible for community care, are we providing them with their eligibility and what is the veteran choosing to do? So last year I posted something about how I overheard an employee say they didn’t have an open appointment for 30+ days and another employee telling them to make sure they don’t tell the veteran they can be seen outside the VA. It blew my mind. Why wouldn’t you do the right thing? Well now they have to inform you if you’re eligible and report back on your choice.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 18:26
|
|
|
Sarah posted:So I dig through the training today because I had a lot of downtime and there was no information on copays outside of urgent care visits. Bolded something that grabbed my eye - is that urgent care like a walk in clinic or ER rooms? The fact that they're adding copays to my VA coverage is irritating enough, but just  if they are taking away emergency room coverage.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2019 23:51
|
|
|
Replying to this in the veterans resource thread so we don't clog this one up with Mission Act too much 
|
|
#
?
May 30, 2019 00:49
|
|
|
colachute posted:One of those days. I’m depressed. I spent a lot of time laying in bed last night thinking about life. I’m just not happy. I don’t know what to do to get happy. I asked for more hours at work because, even though I wasn’t happy working the 70-80 weeks a few months ago, at least I was too tired and busy to be depressed. I'm sorry. I got my old job back with a raise and my friend who I got job here got promoted as my supervisor for a $10 hourly raise, so I'm trying desperately to be happy for my friend but I also can't fight this bitch assed jealousy. And I still don't know how to handle it. I'm genuinely like, happy for my friend. I'm just tired of stepping on my own dick professionally. I feel like a crybaby typing THAT.
|
|
#
?
May 30, 2019 03:33
|
|
|
Mr. Nice! posted:Bolded something that grabbed my eye - is that urgent care like a walk in clinic or ER rooms? The fact that they're adding copays to my VA coverage is irritating enough, but just Urgent Cares are NOT Emergency Departments. Emergency Departments are attached to hospitals and exist for actual emergencies--threats to life, limb, and eyesight. They are also the site of triage and often treatment for less acute problems. (It's a major drain on resources when people go to the ED for things that ought to go to primary care, but it's a large portion if not the majority of ED throughput these days.) Urgent cares are basically private walk-in clinics. They are not permitted to call themselves Emergency Departments/Emergency Rooms. They will use all sorts of other descriptors to seem that way (Urgent/Acute/Etc.) They can be found anywhere from stand-alone buildings to shopping centers. Because UCs are not emergency services, insurance companies aren't going to pay them like they are. It's no different to walking into a random clinic that doesn't accept your insurance and expecting it to be covered. *To add to the confusion, some large cities do have stand-alone private emergency departments, but in general if you need an ED you should just go to an actual hospital.
|
|
#
?
May 30, 2019 10:19
|
|
|
I know the user base is mostly American on here, but if there are any  goons that ever need help getting access to resources, assistance, or even just to chat over PM's or anything please don't hesitate to let me know. I don't care if it's on SA or through email, phone, whatever. I've thought about posting in here a few times myself over my career so far and I know it's not easy. I figured this would be a good ice breaker in case I ever do.I don't know if this is the appropriate place for this, just wanted to extend a hand to all the Canadian GiP posters.
|
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2019 02:19
|
|
|
Welcome, and thank you.  , we don't bite
|
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2019 02:45
|
|
|
EBB posted:Welcome, and thank you. Unless that’s your thing man.
|
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2019 04:32
|
|
|
LingcodKilla posted:Unless that’s your thing man. And then it is only with consent.
|
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2019 05:06
|
|
|
Sarah posted:So I dig through the training today because I had a lot of downtime and there was no information on copays outside of urgent care visits. I've gotten 10 e-mails and 3 hard copies through the mail these past two weeks and none of them have had nearly as much detail or nuance as your post. Also, Sarah posted:Another thing that I wrote down that caught my attention is that the mission act requires the VA to report to Congress which veterans are eligible for community care, are we providing them with their eligibility and what is the veteran choosing to do?  if you picked a job with VA over CMS.Also, request a copy of your medical record. The VA medical record system is fixing to get wrecked worse than a nuke going off in the NARA warehouse.
|
|
#
?
Jun 8, 2019 07:35
|
|
|
Hey, I've gotta run some errands and poo poo... But could someone PM me the current discord information? It's been a bit since I've used it, but... I think now's a good time.
|
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2019 20:37
|
|
|
windshipper posted:Hey, I've gotta run some errands and poo poo... But could someone PM me the current discord information? It's been a bit since I've used it, but... I think now's a good time. you got it
|
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2019 23:21
|
|
|
Like I’ve never even remotely gotten flak for being in the military. I’ve always figured I’d be able to handle war criminal or baby killer or what have you but I seriously don’t know how I can look at todays military and not expect to be called a Nazi at some point in the future. The insane amount of white pride straight pride openly displayed in uniform bull poo poo is scary as gently caress. I’d much rather be tangentially associated with our misdeeds done over seas years ago than whatever skinny rear end wall punching virgin white boy Nazi apologia poo poo is going on today.
Cenen fucked around with this message at 05:05 on Jun 22, 2019 |
|
#
?
Jun 22, 2019 05:03
|
|
|
Cenen posted:Like I’ve never even remotely gotten flak for being in the military. I’ve always figured I’d be able to handle war criminal or baby killer or what have you but I seriously don’t know how I can look at todays military and not expect to be called a Nazi at some point in the future. The insane amount of white pride straight pride openly displayed in uniform bull poo poo is scary as gently caress. I’d much rather be tangentially associated with our misdeeds done over seas years ago than whatever skinny rear end wall punching virgin white boy Nazi apologia poo poo is going on today. I was called the criminal once by a former coworker at the grocery store. Really out of the blue; I had my left for a while, but I still dropped by they store because it was nearest my mom's. A lot of people knew I was on the short list to deploy soon from either me or my mom, but he dispassionately told me how he thought what I was doing was wrong and I ought to be in jail if I went through with it. In 2009.
|
|
#
?
Jun 22, 2019 08:45
|
|
|
I tried PM'ing OP for slack access, but it says their account can't receive PMs. Is there anyone else I can PM? I'm in a bit of a spot and looking for some support.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2019 05:18
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 20:50 |
|
|
Ziji posted:I tried PM'ing OP for slack access, but it says their account can't receive PMs. Is there anyone else I can PM? I'm in a bit of a spot and looking for some support. We don’t do slack anymore to my knowledge, it’s Discord. I don’t have PM’s or know how to invite you but I posted an @everyone message letting them know about you. Someone should hook you up, but it’s late and a work night so it might be a little bit.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2019 07:54
|
|