Climate Change: hope for the biggest I told you so of all time is what fuels us

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > Climate Change: hope for the biggest I told you so of all time is what fuels us

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the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

https://twitter.com/shookster1000/status/1147003431581835264

# ? Jul 5, 2019 15:18

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 06:07

dioxazine: Oct 14, 2004

zegermans posted:

A coal billionaire and his heiress and her friends all just died so that owns

The pilot did a good deed. We salute his sacrifice.

# ? Jul 5, 2019 15:19

CODChimera: Jan 29, 2009

hopefully they died screaming

# ? Jul 5, 2019 15:41

Insanite: Aug 30, 2005

Plant a trillion trees: dumb, slow, logistically difficult
Force executives to ride in helicopters 24/7: cool, good, efficient

# ? Jul 5, 2019 15:45

Shima Honnou: Dec 1, 2010; The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit; College Slice

CODChimera posted:

hopefully they died screaming

# ? Jul 5, 2019 15:59

Gitro: May 29, 2013

the bitcoin of weed posted:

https://twitter.com/shookster1000/status/1147003431581835264

going to bust a big oily load aaaallll over some saplings

For the environment

# ? Jul 5, 2019 16:10

Homeless Friend: Jul 16, 2007

zegermans posted:

A coal billionaire and his heiress and her friends all just died so that owns

imagine hodgkinson except in a toga and throwing a lightning bolt

# ? Jul 5, 2019 17:43

Egg Moron: Jul 21, 2003; the dreams of the delighting void

that one helicopter crash yesterday has done more to mitigate the impact of climate change than all the recycling over the last 5 years worldwide put together

# ? Jul 5, 2019 17:46

Stairmaster: Jun 8, 2012

https://twitter.com/trevorb1456/status/1146983682357510144

https://twitter.com/trevorb1456/status/1147207588712521728

https://twitter.com/trevorb1456/status/1147208451724140546

# ? Jul 5, 2019 19:23

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

quote:

In 1980, Cline's father bought out his partner then gave the shares to Cline, who was then 21 years old.

Truly busting his tail

# ? Jul 5, 2019 19:28

Ferdinand Bardamu: Apr 30, 2013

I'm loling that Herr Cline made his Greek Row failchildren visit the mines he owned and fly commercial in order to teach them humility. Then, a few of them die while using their private fleet.

# ? Jul 5, 2019 20:31

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

zegermans posted:

A coal billionaire and his heiress and her friends all just died so that owns

posting ITT after hearing about the good news

# ? Jul 5, 2019 20:36

net work error: Feb 26, 2011

Does that mean they shut down the coal plant now?

# ? Jul 5, 2019 21:51

rex rabidorum vires: Mar 26, 2007; KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN KASPERI KAPANEN

net work error posted:

Does that mean they shut down the coal plant now?

It's one less helicopter in the air which is a net positive!

# ? Jul 5, 2019 23:05

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The first tomatoes of the season are growing in

Turtlicious has issued a correction as of 00:29 on Jul 6, 2019

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:18

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

some of my tomatoes are starting to ripen :3:

there's so many on the plant too

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:26

Shima Honnou: Dec 1, 2010; The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit; College Slice

Heard that loving Svalbard is expecting to possibly break their temperature record in the next few days.

Also, the coming heatwave there will make it the warmest part of Norway.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 03:34

Shifty Nipples: Apr 8, 2007

i'm going to live forever or die trying :haw:

# ? Jul 6, 2019 03:51

Dean of Swing: Feb 22, 2012

What is up with all these plant-a-bajillion-trees articles I'm seeing. Who out there just re-invented the wheel?

# ? Jul 6, 2019 05:11

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Dean of Swing posted:

What is up with all these plant-a-bajillion-trees articles I'm seeing. Who out there just re-invented the wheel?

A swedish pair of scientists figured out how many trees, what kind of trees, and where the free space is to plant those trees.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 05:17

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Turtlicious posted:

A swedish pair of scientists figured out how many trees, what kind of trees, and where the free space is to plant those trees.

did they figure out the rate of amazonian deforestation/phytoplankton collapse they needed to overcome as an offset or is this more one of those caeteris paribus things

# ? Jul 6, 2019 05:29

Ferdinand Bardamu: Apr 30, 2013

The Protagonist posted:

did they figure out the rate of amazonian deforestation/phytoplankton collapse they needed to overcome as an offset or is this more one of those caeteris paribus things

Of course not, the loving dipshits.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 05:35

Shima Honnou: Dec 1, 2010; The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit; College Slice

BTW I looked it up out of curiosity and a study from 2015 claims there were around 3 trillion trees on the planet back then, probably less now with deforestation efforts and forest fires increasing so much, but essentially we'd need to increase the amount of trees on the planet by a third, very quickly.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 06:25

Taintrunner: Apr 10, 2017; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Like I said, you�re better off detonating a nuke over the federal building of the Brazilian government and throwing them into chaos in an attempt to halt deforestation or forming an international coalition to bully the poo poo out of them into submission.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 06:34

Rime: Nov 2, 2011; by Games Forum

Whoa now, we can't just start knocking off entire regimes in order to save literally all life on earth! That's just imperialist, or whatever similarly bullshit excuse is tossed around on that topic.

All human life is precious, no exceptions, even if it means we render the planet back down to bacteria for millions of years.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 07:05

Sing Along: Feb 28, 2017; by Athanatos

Rime posted:

Whoa now, we can't just start knocking off entire regimes in order to save literally all life on earth! That's just imperialist, or whatever similarly bullshit excuse is tossed around on that topic.

All human life is precious, no exceptions, even if it means we render the planet back down to bacteria for millions of years.

hyped for WW3 being a purge of all regimes unwilling to go net carbon negative (with the exception of wartime emissions, of course)

# ? Jul 6, 2019 07:30

Zohar: Jul 14, 2013; Good kitty

Shima Honnou posted:

BTW I looked it up out of curiosity and a study from 2015 claims there were around 3 trillion trees on the planet back then, probably less now with deforestation efforts and forest fires increasing so much, but essentially we'd need to increase the amount of trees on the planet by a third, very quickly.

simple, whenever you see 3 trees you plant another one. Done :tipshat:

# ? Jul 6, 2019 09:38

Gitro: May 29, 2013

I have declared war on the climate. Emissions will continue until it is defeated.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 09:39

Shima Honnou: Dec 1, 2010; The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit; College Slice

Gitro posted:

I have declared war on the climate. Emissions will continue until it is defeated.

Thank you for your service.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 10:13

Gitro: May 29, 2013

Blasting ride of the Valkyries for five hours as I do sick donuts and burnouts in my big car

# ? Jul 6, 2019 11:40

Gitro: May 29, 2013

Calling in epic drone strikes on old growth forests

# ? Jul 6, 2019 11:41

Sing Along: Feb 28, 2017; by Athanatos

me, super woke clicking "log in" on a site where lastpass has my credentials stored: "dope that this still works"

# ? Jul 6, 2019 11:46

Gitro: May 29, 2013

Coming up with racist names for glaciers

# ? Jul 6, 2019 11:52

Gitro: May 29, 2013

Giving each individual soldier a Viking funeral on a pile of tyres

# ? Jul 6, 2019 11:53

Gitro: May 29, 2013

*watching a hurricane the size of Texas destroy the entire eastern coast*: we... we did it sarge

# ? Jul 6, 2019 11:55

YaketySass: Jan 15, 2019; Blind Idiot Dog

It's gonna really freak the future squid people out when they'll see all the porn we made of them.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 12:04

commie kong: Mar 7, 2019

vyelkin posted:

Over time everything gets steadily more expensive and you start not being able to always buy whatever you want, either because it's now out of your price range or because there are actual shortages of things like coffee. Weather gets more severe and less predictable. People you know have their homes and livelihoods destroyed by extreme weather events and have to decide whether to rebuild or start over somewhere new with nothing. If you're unfortunate enough to live somewhere like the desert (lol Phoenix, Arizona) then it will become actually unaffordable to live there at all because you'll spend more on air conditioning than you make in income. Every summer you hear about hundreds of elderly people whose air conditioning broke and they died of heatstroke in their own home. Diseases that haven't been seen in your country for decades or centuries start to reappear, like malaria. Diseases that have never appeared in your country before, like Zika or Dengue, also start to appear. Mosquitoes seem to be the one insect that isn't dying out.

Insurance stops covering a lot of climate change-related damage, so as extreme weather events hit other parts of your country and people aren't able to rebuild where they lived, places like southern Florida get abandoned, not from some government plan, but from millions of people individually deciding to pack up and leave one day. The place where you live gets more crowded as internal migrants relocate only to find that life isn't any easier when they show up out of the blue with no job, no money, and no assets to sell. Your wages get cut at work because there are suddenly ten highly trained unemployed professionals who used to do your job in Miami, any of whom would gladly replace you. Your rent goes up even faster than usual because of all the population growth in your city.

The news is full of stories of weather destroying other parts of the world like Mozambique and Puerto Rico, and conflicts breaking out in areas hit by drought, famine, and disease. It's also full of stories about migrants trying to come to the developed world. It never mentions that the two things are connected, and never explores the fact that the migrants are moving because they can no longer live in their homes because their fields dried up, it didn't rain for ten years, and the desert swallowed their town. You notice the people around you getting more and more anxious about migration as their own incomes are getting stretched thinner and thinner and there are only ever more and more migrants. Electorates vote in more and more extreme right-wing figures who ban all immigration, militarize the borders, and implement ever-more draconian surveillance and monitoring of people inside the country as well. You're repeatedly told that if you're a natural-born citizen and not breaking any laws, you have nothing to fear.

Global supply chains start to break down as some regions of the world get less and less livable and some resources get either more difficult to extract and process, or get wiped out by climate change themselves, making prices rise even more and shortages hit even harder. As places start to see economic decline, people get restless and there are instances of mass unrest. On the news you see stories about mass demonstrations and massacres in random other places around the world. But here people are too busy working five gig economy jobs just to afford bread, they're too busy to protest. Governments get overthrown, countries descend into civil war, millions die in armed conflict, famine, and ensuing disease outbreaks. This further exacerbates the millions of people already trying to migrate to the less-affected developed world, but by this point our borders are so hardened that most of them die before they make it here. Deaths of hundreds or thousands of people trying to cross our borders across oceans and through deserts stop even making the news because they're so routine and we're too concerned with our own daily survival to worry about people we don't know.

What you do see on the news are feel-good stories about how a billionaire CEO now flies around in a solar-powered plane and he planted trees on his green roof. Meanwhile our cities are more choked with smog than ever, and the numbers keep getting higher. Fewer people are smoking than ever before, but lung cancer rates seem to be higher than ever. You get a particularly bad cough and you'd like to see a doctor about it, but they cut your benefits at work so you just hope it goes away on its own. The UN releases a report saying that we have three years to act if we want to avoid 8 degrees of warming, but by this point we've read so many reports saying we've already passed the tipping point that no one cares.

All our topsoil is vanishing and by this point even some people with jobs literally can't afford food. But the state is militarized enough that no one really thinks about protest except for the occasional spontaneous riot that doesn't accomplish anything long-term. Facial recognition software and ubiquitous surveillance and tracking means protesting is a one-way ticket to prison, if you aren't literally killed or maimed by the police breaking up the protest. And anyway, even attending a legal protest harms your social credit score and means you won't be able to get a loan the next time food prices spike and you can't afford enough to get through the week. Drug abuse, overdoses, and suicide are all rampant as people lose hope and decide to numb themselves or end it quickly rather than die slow, painful deaths. There are people literally starving to death in the streets and every summer you're pretty sure some of the homeless people lying on the sidewalk have died of heatstroke. Half the food you used to see in supermarkets is just plain gone, wiped out by disease or unable to grow where it used to or the supply chains that used to ship it in from halfway around the world have collapsed completely. The other half of the food is so expensive that you can only afford to buy the barest essentials. The wars on TV get worse as countries invade each other to get at the farmland that remains. Despite the police everywhere, law and order seems to be breaking down in your city, there are enormous waves of robberies, burglaries, home invasions, murders, as desperate people do whatever it takes to get through another day. The rich are comfortably secure in gated communities protected by private mercenaries with tanks and machine guns, who regularly use lethal force to defend their employers' property.

Eventually you die. If you're lucky it's in some extreme weather event and it's over quickly. If you're unlucky you starve to death because you lost your job and bread is too expensive. I hope you don't have kids because they still have a few more decades in this miserable hellhole, while civilization continues to collapse around them. They probably eventually die deaths even less pleasant than yours.

Some humans will survive, even in 15 degrees of warming. Our civilization won't.

i think about this post a lot

# ? Jul 6, 2019 14:14

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

YaketySass posted:

It's gonna really freak the future squid people out when they'll see all the porn we made of them.

I'm sure they'll be more confused than anything.

During the ketchup vs mayo splatfest some people fought on the mayo side with the name "Cum Bucket." Thankfully the milk tea(white) vs lemon tea (yellow) was only in Japan.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 14:26

StabbinHobo: Oct 18, 2002; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

if you like that post check out "years and years"

# ? Jul 6, 2019 15:04

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 06:07

Kindest Forums User: Mar 25, 2008; Let me tell you about my opinion about Bernie Sanders and why Donald Trump is his true successor.

You cannot vote Hillary Clinton because she is worse than Trump.

Rime posted:

Whoa now, we can't just start knocking off entire regimes in order to save literally all life on earth! That's just imperialist, or whatever similarly bullshit excuse is tossed around on that topic.

All human life is precious, no exceptions, even if it means we render the planet back down to bacteria for millions of years.

Lol you support American imperialism you stupid gently caress.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 15:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > Climate Change: hope for the biggest I told you so of all time is what fuels us

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