Huntersoninski posted:

CuwiKhons posted:

Here's what you're going to do:

1. Either call the non-emergency line or go in to their front desk at the PD if you're feeling bold. If you'd rather just call, you can also tell them you don't need face-to-face contact. Depending on how seriously your town is taking COVID, they might or might not be under orders to stick to phone contact only unless the complainant (you) specifically requests they physically show up.
2. Explain the situation calmly. Have all your information ready - your address, your work address if your parents might send the cops there, a phone number they can reach you at, your parents' information and what they're likely to say about you to try to get a police response.
3. Like Uncle Enzo said, give just enough details about your parents to make it clear that they're irrational and they are not simply 'concerned about their child'. They are harassing you. Do not give details like "I used to be depressed but I'm fine now." Don't give them anything that can be used by your parents to justify their 'concern'.
4. If they use a database system anywhere even close to the one my local PD uses, ask them if they can put a hotfile or note on your residence about the situation so that any cop who receives a call to check on you will pull up the address and see the note letting them know what's likely happening. Our local PD puts notes on residences all the time - IE, this person stockpiles guns, the person who lives here has dementia, this person keeps getting swatted by lovely gamers, etc.
5. If they ask if you want them to call your parents and tell them to cut it out, say no. Your parents will almost certainly see that as escalation.
6. They will probably suggest you get an injunction or something. If you haven't looked into that, consider it? If you have and it's not the way you want to handle things, just tell them that.
7. You're going to have to accept that in certain cases, your local PD is legally obliged to check up on you depending on what your parents say. If they say "Our son just sent us a message that he's going to hang himself!" then they're obliged to ensure you're not doing that. However if they already know your parents are nutso, you can probably convince them to just call you. As long as you're calm on the phone, they'll probably let it go.

If you now live in a very small town, unfortunately the odds are good that if your parents do this often, the cops are going to Know Who You Are. This sucks but as long as you can paste on a smile where necessary, the cops will probably just think of you as "that guy whose parents are loving bananas."

Good luck!

Barudak posted:

Not gonna lie a few years ago I came across the issendai thing, maybe from another thread here, and it hit me how much it explained and matched a family members behavior and booooooy howdy does that mean I probably wont be back to this thread much since thinking about them causes a real skyrocket of the ol blood pressure.

The_Continental posted:

The grand-kid thing is so hosed. These people simply have to place themselves in the role of victim and continue their pity party. They completely remove their own relationship with their child from the equation and make it completely about how their grandchild is being kept from them.

MightyJoe36 posted:

I never got the whole "grandparents rights" thing. What rights? If your kid won't let you see their kids, it's probably because you were a lovely parent.

It's like they have no concept of cutting toxic people out of their lives.

Barudak posted:

Did you know in some states you are legally required to pay for your parents retirement and that some estranged parents have already started exploiting this to get back at their children? Would you believe I know the states with these laws and wont ever live in them?

Barudak posted:

Did you know in some states you are legally required to pay for your parents retirement and that some estranged parents have already started exploiting this to get back at their children? Would you believe I know the states with these laws and wont ever live in them?

ArbitraryC posted:

Lol a generation of vampires. What garbo states are these?

Leon Einstein posted:

Source? I need to read this insanity.

A woman who may have lost her daughter to an Irish cult posted:

I am not sure if I am doing this correctly. I am trying to respond to the woman in Ireland. I am an American with dual citizenship. My daughter was acting crazy and I encouraged her to go for a study abroad program to Ireland thinking the warmth of the Irish people would be healing. Almost immediately she began acting like a stranger. I visited her 11 months later to see what the heck was going on and she had completely replaced me with another mother and a bizarre family. Everyone she introduced me to looked at me with hatred so I knew she was telling some horrible fabricated tales about me to justify the estrangement. I cried every day for about a year. Now, I am mad. I feel like the daughter i knew, who I lived with for 22 years died in Ireland. Not blaming the country, obviously this is going on everywhere. It would be nice to have an Irish friend to share this pain with. Sorry about your sister, seems to be an epidemic. I have certainly had the thought that I wish I had never had children. Tragic. I am sick of being lied about and of having unjustified rage directed at me.

Barudak posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws

The list of states is: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada , New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia.

Now thats a big list but be aware not all have the same thresholds and boundary of obligations, nor are they all usually enforced, but seriously avoid Pennsylvania and it comes up with Estranged Parents now that they know about it.

A Fancy Hat posted:

"The Warmth of the Irish People" led to this woman's daughter realizing her mother was insane.

Giant_Pupils posted:

I would bet my bottom dollar that my mom is on that site somewhere.

Willfrey posted:

Ouch some of these hittin a little close to home

Captain Yossarian posted:

Boomers are a loving plague

A Fancy Hat posted:

"The Warmth of the Irish People" led to this woman's daughter realizing her mother was insane.

quote:

A woman who may have lost her daughter to an Irish cult posted:
I am not sure if I am doing this correctly. I am trying to respond to the woman in Ireland. I am an American with dual citizenship. My daughter was acting crazy and I encouraged her to go for a study abroad program to Ireland thinking the warmth of the Irish people would be healing. Almost immediately she began acting like a stranger. I visited her 11 months later to see what the heck was going on and she had completely replaced me with another mother and a bizarre family. Everyone she introduced me to looked at me with hatred so I knew she was telling some horrible fabricated tales about me to justify the estrangement. I cried every day for about a year. Now, I am mad. I feel like the daughter i knew, who I lived with for 22 years died in Ireland. Not blaming the country, obviously this is going on everywhere. It would be nice to have an Irish friend to share this pain with. Sorry about your sister, seems to be an epidemic. I have certainly had the thought that I wish I had never had children. Tragic. I am sick of being lied about and of having unjustified rage directed at me.

ElGroucho posted:

This is the part where we all make fake accounts and get real funny and then give lowtax another thing for the front page, right?

Literally A Person posted:

This forum.

Literally A Person posted:

This forum.

fist4jesus posted:

I cut off contact with mine. Sometimes it makes me sad.