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quote:Why in the world wouldn’t my ed want her grandfathers gift? I sent a text asking if I should mail it and she said no. What in the world did her 90 year old grandfather do to her?
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:25 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 05:31 |
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God all of that transactional love poo poo is giving me so much anxiety. My parents have weaponized gift-giving for Christmas and my birthday so much that I honestly dread them on some level. But it's evolved (with therapy!) from horrible anxiety to a huge joke since I now share all of their crazy emails/letters and gifts with my friends. That's really helped deflate the power behind the cryptically-phrased/coded language that poo poo used to hold over me.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:29 |
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Holy poo poo, the worst thing my mom does is ask me to find someone to date and marry (I'm pansexual, so I'm open to whatever gender) and make/adopt grandbabies because she wants grandbabies and I'm the oldest and most stable. And my dad gets mad about dumb small stuff a lot like bad restaurant service because he's stressed all the time from a number of factors. This thread makes me feel so much better about my parents. I'm so sorry for anyone who has to deal with this, it's gotta be really hard.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:33 |
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Sleeveless posted:My favorite bit of mental illness in this thread is all the posters who are utterly aghast at the selfish stupidity of the parents completely defining and reframing their view on their relationships based off of a single book...while they themselves are completely defining and reframing their view on their relationships based on a single issendai blog post. This post is galaxy brain af
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:35 |
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quote:
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:39 |
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quote:A spring chicken I may no longer be, but
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:43 |
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What all that transactional gift-giving poo poo is really about, of course, is affection. If you are good, you get my love. If you are bad, I withhold my love. To an adult, whatever, it kind of stings but it's not mind-warpingly horrific like it is when you're a little kid. That's what it comes down to. And it cannot change, not without the parent going through some kind of self-awareness or therapy, which they'll rarely do.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:49 |
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Light Gun Man posted:i have a box around here somewhere of like every single birthday/xmas/whatever card my mom sent me, not because i'm sentimental, but because i just expect that i may have to someday show it off as a defense against some bullshit. I keep everything mom sends, email, letters, and cards. I started out of fear that I'd be called to task for not keeping everything, now I worry sometimes that if I quoted something from 20 years ago that I'd be accused of holding on to evidence to use against her. I get enough flat denials of things she's done that I'll just hang on to them. MasBrillante posted:I was like true, Facebook is horrible, wait what?? Well obviously having a happy life without EP is deliberate, calculated abuse !
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:50 |
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spouse posted:Holy poo poo, the worst thing my mom does is ask me to find someone to date and marry username/post combo
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 05:54 |
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The thing I do wonder with this is, where the gently caress are the dads? Like it seems that most are mothers writing on the website, and I do wonder why that is. Like there are mentions of husbands and what not but as kind of a tertiary background character, and I kind of think that roles as “mother takes care of hearth and home and your children’s relationships are a reflection of you, thus you have failed as a woman” have a huge influence in all of this.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:05 |
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Tunicate posted:username/post combo well spotted
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:10 |
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mllaneza posted:I keep everything mom sends, email, letters, and cards. I started out of fear that I'd be called to task for not keeping everything, now I worry sometimes that if I quoted something from 20 years ago that I'd be accused of holding on to evidence to use against her. I get enough flat denials of things she's done that I'll just hang on to them. This is exactly what will happen. Winning isnt possible so you dont play the game
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:10 |
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teen witch posted:The thing I do wonder with this is, where the gently caress are the dads? Like it seems that most are mothers writing on the website, and I do wonder why that is. Some of the quoted stories mention nonexistent or horrible ex husbands, so that could be part of it. How many posters in that forum are dads? It's definitely an interesting question.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:15 |
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teen witch posted:The thing I do wonder with this is, where the gently caress are the dads? Like it seems that most are mothers writing on the website, and I do wonder why that is.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:23 |
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Sleeveless posted:Gotta give this thread credit, usually the timescale for a mock thread devolving into armchair psychology, making poo poo up, and accusing the people who point out how weird and gross they're being of being the thing the mock thread is devoted to usually takes weeks or even months and this all unfolded over the course of like a day. Sorry you tanked your family, which quoted thread was yours?
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:32 |
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I'd assume the dads are either chill and let the kids have their distance, or just noped the gently caress out of the whole situation to start a new life 2 towns over. Or they were the lucky ones and died early.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:41 |
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I'd assume the dads are either chill and let the kids have their distance, or just noped the gently caress out of the whole situation to start a new life 2 towns over. There are dads on there.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:44 |
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dad enmeshed so what
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:44 |
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Dammit, Sheridan is at poly and while a bit of a mooch did leverage his relationship with his boyfriend for an excellent trip for his family and doesnt like talking to his dad because he doesnt know that his dad is actually ok with him being gay while his mom is just oblivious.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:46 |
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I'm currently png with my mother in law right now because I didn't wash my hands before dinner at their place at some point in the past. I'm pretty sure it's a germophobe ocd thing that she's been stewing over for a long time and just erupted recently. She eventually turns on everyone who is not her direct relations and it's caused broken relationships for my bil before. Kinda hosed up.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:46 |
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Comparing these people’s lives to Everest death watch is actually ruder than anything I could ever have imagined on my own, actually.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 06:56 |
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quote:Sphinx, this is so wise. For me, I painted a picture in my head that the world was all right and that my ex-husband wasn’t really that bad. I cringe now as I think of how I answered someone who asked how we managed to stay married so long (at that point, over 20 years). I said “we are friends first” and boy, I cringe at how stupid I was. We were friends as long as I did what he wanted and didn’t challenge his belittling of me or his non-participation. It is my belief that children in families gravitate to who has the power. Children want the power as they grow up because generally children are powerless until they are adults. I believe that the parent who belittles the other parent and shows disdain of their spouse to the children is vying for power. If the belittled parent, me for example, says silent to get along or doesn’t want to acknowledge what is, then it gives the message to the children that this belittling behavior is okay. That is what I think I did so long ago, taught my kids it is okay to belittle their mom. Doesn’t excuse how they act now as adults who should have a conscience but until they are willing to take ownership of their own behavior, they won’t change their childhood behavioral patterns. That is my opinion anyways.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 07:22 |
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THOT PATROL posted:A spring chicken I may no longer be, but
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 08:35 |
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bell jar posted:dad enmeshed so what Dadginal mesh.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 09:00 |
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All of those people, that website, and this thread, they are all huge bummers, bigtime.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 09:31 |
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I was told that my wife is controlling me, as evidence of this I was pointed to photos of me, her and our kids where "I am smiling with teeth." (I poo poo you not.) Tip of a major iceberg which I'm not about to get into, but reading every one of these posts makes me think that it's my mother until I see details that don't match.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 11:09 |
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I'd assume the dads are either chill and let the kids have their distance, or just noped the gently caress out of the whole situation to start a new life 2 towns over. I want to point out that toxic masculinity also comes with an inability to articulate and share one's feelings due to a lifetime of repression. It's totally possible that a lot of these lovely dads don't bother to communicate their family problems with others. If so, a website like this might skew more toward the mothers who are more open and talkative about their family issues.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 11:27 |
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Tinfoil Papercut posted:I was told that my wife is controlling me, as evidence of this I was pointed to photos of me, her and our kids where "I am smiling with teeth." (I poo poo you not.) I took part in an annual film festival 5 years in a row, videos I made were played in a theatre, it was a school fund raising event and I always invited my mom to go with me. The first 4 years I thought was fine, we went for dinner together before the show, sat together, etc, the 5th I was in charge of running the festival and was really excited and when I invited her to go she said she was busy. She admitted later she lied and that she can't stand being around me with my friends because my face 'lights up more' around them than when I'm with her. So I too am a lovely person for being too happy around others.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 11:40 |
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THOT PATROL posted:BONUS ROUND! same woman posts an emo thread, comprised entirely of the following: quote:My oldest daughter has always been tough, she was born one month after my own mother died. loving inconsiderate baby!
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 12:04 |
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There Bias Two posted:I want to point out that toxic masculinity also comes with an inability to articulate and share one's feelings due to a lifetime of repression. It's totally possible that a lot of these lovely dads don't bother to communicate their family problems with others. yeah they're just not joining this particular style of support group and not obsessing over the specific kind of Christmas-card-centric 11-dimensional passive-aggression chess that gets reposted here a lot, lmao at the idea that there's fewer lovely dads whose kids avoid them out there
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 12:31 |
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My wife was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder after 15 years of hell. I could tell some stories, boy. It's a bit better now that theres medication involved.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 13:10 |
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Reading through the issendai article and reading all the stories posted here makes me grateful my parents were unobtrusive and fairly evenhanded. It also reminds me why I don't have any social media. Good luck out there.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 15:38 |
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The Dregs posted:My wife was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder after 15 years of hell. I could tell some stories, boy. It's a bit better now that theres medication involved. Tell some stories, boy.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 16:10 |
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So the book theses people refer to, is it like a self-help book or something? After a little reading it seems like it contains exercises and such....
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 16:23 |
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Oh and some content:
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 16:41 |
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I bet every single one of these people would vehemently argue in favor of spanking as a disciplinary measure.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 16:46 |
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Literally A Person posted:Oh and some content: Well THOSE lines aren't difficult to read between.
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 16:59 |
robot mom should have been recalled to the factory shortly after delivery
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 17:07 |
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Sleeveless posted:Gotta give this thread credit, usually the timescale for a mock thread devolving into armchair psychology, making poo poo up, and accusing the people who point out how weird and gross they're being of being the thing the mock thread is devoted to usually takes weeks or even months and this all unfolded over the course of like a day. Shut up you piece of poo poo. I didn't use any acronyms to keep the message simple 4u
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# ? Jul 16, 2019 17:09 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 05:31 |
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bad posts ahead!!! posted:
This is really good advice, but the sort of advice that anyone who needs it gets 20 years too late. My mother still gives me poo poo as I was upset when F1 driver Ayrton Senna died 25 years ago. e: wow he's been dead longer than I thought. Sodium Chloride fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Jul 16, 2019 |
# ? Jul 16, 2019 17:10 |