Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

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Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

Demolition Man tried to warn us. We didn�t listen.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 02:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 18, 2024 01:56

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Cartoon Man posted:

https://komonews.com/news/offbeat/cake-decorator-confuses-moana-with-marijuana-on-cake-birthday-girl-still-loves-it

Against all odds, the best part of this is the transparent background printed for the MLP image.

# ? Jul 13, 2019 03:46

Antioch: Apr 18, 2003

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/VICE/status/1149767133217415169

I know it's just Twitter's shortener, but the t.co domain really suits this one.

# ? Jul 14, 2019 05:28

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

The ghost of a masturbating ape haunts the hallways of a grand country estate in Dorset

# ? Jul 14, 2019 20:30

mrkillboy: May 13, 2003; "Something witty."

France reveals terrifying armed soldier who flies above Paris on hoverboard

https://twitter.com/EmmanuelMacron/status/1150408570929917957

# ? Jul 15, 2019 08:04

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

mrkillboy posted:

France reveals terrifying armed soldier who flies above Paris on hoverboard

https://twitter.com/EmmanuelMacron/status/1150408570929917957

"Look, everyone! It's a flying segway!"

Edit for content:

https://twitter.com/rnz_news/status/1150658514714427392

Absurd Alhazred has a new favorite as of 12:36 on Jul 15, 2019

# ? Jul 15, 2019 11:31

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

themedia.jpg

# ? Jul 15, 2019 14:16

d3lness: Feb 19, 2011; Unicorns are metal. Gundanium alloy to be exact...

Sir Lemming posted:

themedia.jpg

Is this the cursed images thread?

# ? Jul 15, 2019 15:26

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Both of the links go to the Amazon Day sale

# ? Jul 15, 2019 15:38

cinni: Oct 17, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Police warn flushing drugs down the toilet could create 'meth-gators'

LORETTO, Tenn. � A police department in Tennessee is warning people to stop flushing drugs down their toilets or sinks out of fear they could create "meth-gators."

The Loretto Police Department recently posted the ominous Facebook warning after officers found a suspect unsuccessfully trying to flush meth and paraphernalia at a home.

He was arrested, but police say this is becoming an issue because flushed drugs can end up in retention ponds for processing before they are sent downstream.

"Our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth," the police department wrote on social media. "Ducks, geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do."

In 2017, however, The Telegraph reported how a jungle python was found addicted to methamphetamine. The newspaper said the reptile was discovered during a police raid on a meth lab. The snake needed six weeks of detox.

https://www.khou.com/article/life/a...brr8rNT2aMBw_zo

# ? Jul 16, 2019 01:02

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

I believe that is the backstory to the hit summer movie produced by Sam Raimi, Crawl.

# ? Jul 16, 2019 01:15

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

cinni posted:

Police warn flushing drugs down the toilet could create 'meth-gators'

LORETTO, Tenn. � A police department in Tennessee is warning people to stop flushing drugs down their toilets or sinks out of fear they could create "meth-gators."

The Loretto Police Department recently posted the ominous Facebook warning after officers found a suspect unsuccessfully trying to flush meth and paraphernalia at a home.

He was arrested, but police say this is becoming an issue because flushed drugs can end up in retention ponds for processing before they are sent downstream.

"Our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth," the police department wrote on social media. "Ducks, geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do."

In 2017, however, The Telegraph reported how a jungle python was found addicted to methamphetamine. The newspaper said the reptile was discovered during a police raid on a meth lab. The snake needed six weeks of detox.

https://www.khou.com/article/life/a...brr8rNT2aMBw_zo

How is this not Florida?

# ? Jul 16, 2019 01:15

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Cythereal posted:

How is this not Florida?

Our gators just say no :colbert:

# ? Jul 16, 2019 01:28

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Cythereal posted:

How is this not Florida?

Florida already has meth-gators.

# ? Jul 16, 2019 02:25

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.

I was trying to find information about Florida gators on cocaine, but all my searches for �florida gators blow� just confirm that they do.

# ? Jul 16, 2019 02:33

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/gerry-the-monk-hutchs-older-brother-fighting-for-his-life-after-horror-fall-down-stairs-38320578.html

Knowing the indo, I'm just surprised they didn't call it a 'Horror Plunge ' or Shock Stairs Smash'

# ? Jul 17, 2019 08:58

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

Cartoon Man posted:

https://komonews.com/news/offbeat/cake-decorator-confuses-moana-with-marijuana-on-cake-birthday-girl-still-loves-it

25 is pretty loving old to be so into Moana, MLP, or Marijuana.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 10:47

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

"25 is too old for weed" is a real strange take

# ? Jul 17, 2019 11:01

The_White_Crane: May 10, 2008

Bertrand Hustle posted:

"25 is too old for weed" is a real strange take

Plenty of people still smoke weed at 25, rather fewer make it such a big part of their identity that they'd put a leaf on their birthday cake.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 11:27

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

The_White_Crane posted:

Plenty of people still smoke weed at 25, rather fewer make it such a big part of their identity that they'd put a leaf on their birthday cake.

Why are we assuming this cake is of profound importance and not just some silly thing?

# ? Jul 17, 2019 11:53

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

EVERY CAKE IS MEANINGFUL YOU FILISTINE!
Don't you dare disparage this creation of finely ground wheat and processed sugar, have you no joy in your heart?!

Cakes forever bitches.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 12:14

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

Bertrand Hustle posted:

"25 is too old for weed" is a real strange take

Grow up and do big boy drugs.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 12:43

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

Nothing is more serious than birthday cake.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 12:52

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Classmates Pretend to Get Into Serious �Fight� to Surprise Teacher with Birthday Cake

https://www.worldofbuzz.com/classmates-pretend-to-get-into-serious-fight-to-surprise-teacher-with-birthday-cake/

E:

E2: This ain't worth more than a screen shot:

By popular demand has a new favorite as of 13:26 on Jul 17, 2019

# ? Jul 17, 2019 13:16

mrkillboy: May 13, 2003; "Something witty."

Christian family who argued taxes 'against God's will' ordered to pay $2.3m bill

quote:

Representing themselves, [Fanny Alida and Rembertus Cornelis Beerepoot] told the court they had previously paid income tax prior to 2011 but that a deepened spiritual relationship meant they later realised paying tax was "against God's will".

Beerepoot argued that by being made to pay taxes, their dependence on God was being taken away from them, which was causing Australia to be cursed.

"As we move outside of God's jurisdiction, this country has received curses which we're already seeing in the form of droughts and infertility," he said.

...

In his judgment, Associate Justice Stephen Holt said he took issue with the absence of a specific reference in the Bible that supports their argument.

"If you can't find me a passage in scripture or gospel that says 'thou shall not pay tax' then can you see I have difficulty finding a starting point?" Justice Holt asked.

Justice Holt ordered Mr and Ms Beerepoot pay an estimated $1.159 million and $1.166 million respectively, covering income tax debt, administrative costs, interest charges and running balance account deficit debts.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 13:23

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

"Rembertus Cornelis Beerepoot"

# ? Jul 17, 2019 13:31

ZombieLenin: Sep 6, 2009; "Democracy for the insignificant minority, democracy for the rich--that is the democracy of capitalist society." VI Lenin

[/quote]

Zesty posted:

25 is pretty loving old to be so into Moana, MLP, or Marijuana.

Well poo poo, what does this say about me, a 41 year old data scientist who smokes weed constantly?

# ? Jul 17, 2019 13:32

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

mrkillboy posted:

Christian family who argued taxes 'against God's will' ordered to pay $2.3m bill

Matthew 22:21 Jesus said "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's." Romans 13:1 "Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God and those which exist are established by God."

:thunk:

# ? Jul 17, 2019 13:39

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Fundamentalist christians dgaf about the bible, this has been established again and again

# ? Jul 17, 2019 13:42

ZombieLenin: Sep 6, 2009; "Democracy for the insignificant minority, democracy for the rich--that is the democracy of capitalist society." VI Lenin

[/quote]

Randaconda posted:

Matthew 22:21 Jesus said "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's." Romans 13:1 "Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God and those which exist are established by God."

You forgot (from Romans):

quote:

Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves...

This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God�s servants, who give their full time to governing.

And just because:

Acts 4:32-35 posted:

Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common...

There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. They laid it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 14:28

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

Krankenstyle posted:

christians dgaf about the bible

It's more like this. Everyone just cherry-picks whatever they already agree with, because the Bible is full of contradictions and you can find a passage supporting basically anything, which is why you see churches that are pro-LGBT and inclusive and churches that are full of far-right regressive bigots, and there is biblical support for both

In short, the Bible is a land of contrasts

# ? Jul 17, 2019 14:45

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Pastry of the Year posted:

"Rembertus Cornelis Beerepoot"

That is the Dutchest name.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 15:40

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

AlbieQuirky posted:

That is the Dutchest name.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 15:52

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Bertrand Hustle posted:

It's more like this. Everyone just cherry-picks whatever they already agree with, because the Bible is full of contradictions and you can find a passage supporting basically anything, which is why you see churches that are pro-LGBT and inclusive and churches that are full of far-right regressive bigots, and there is biblical support for both

In short, the Bible is a land of contrasts

A lot of this is because many parts of the Bible are either metaphorical or have figures talking to specific places and people rather than commanding the entire religion to do something, but Christians will interpret everything literally and throw out the parts that don�t make sense to them. And some religious prohibitions only existed due to conditions at the time and are now irrelevant (like dietary ones) but continue to be espoused by the devout in modern day.

# ? Jul 17, 2019 16:07