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rft 14 and song 14
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Jul 22, 2019 16:20
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Considering I'm moving in 2 days I shouldn't do this, but in Gimme 20 RFT and 20 Song Edit: I'm here to write, not read a comic book or look at your "pictures". Should have made it excel! Exmond fucked around with this message at 17:53 on Jul 22, 2019 |
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Jul 22, 2019 16:32
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central character 3 setting 18 genre 8 song 8 rft 18
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Jul 22, 2019 16:57
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In! Song: 3 Character: 9 Genre: 20
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Jul 22, 2019 17:08
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Character: 3 Genre: 9 Song: 9 RFT:9
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Jul 22, 2019 17:15
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In. Character: 14 Setting: 16 Genre: 18 Song: 8 RFT: 2
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Jul 22, 2019 17:27
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I know reading and looking at pictures isn't fun, but please, check the picture before you sign up and make sure the things you are picking are available. If you messed up already, I'm dealing with it, so don't change anything.
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Jul 22, 2019 17:40
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in, 7 for character, 11 for song, and 18 for RFT.
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Jul 22, 2019 17:59
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flerp your… Song is… The Wind Cries Mary, by Jimi Hendrix +156 words and a….  DIAMOND CAPSULE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYAcB_Ph7DMRFT… TAKES PLACE OVER THE SPAN OF 100 YEARS! Exmond your… Song pick was already picked. I’m giving you 11. Song is… They Reminisce Over You, by Pete Rock & CL Smooth +156 words https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BONgL61snlM RFT is… A DECK OF CARDS! Tyrannosaurus your… Central Character is… HAUNTED! +134 Words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Setting is… IN OUTER SPACE +90 Words Genre is… Sci-Fi + 98 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Song is… In the Hall of the Mountain King, by Edvard Grieg +120 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE RFT is… FIREWORKS! +103 words Nikaer Drekin your... Central Character is… A TERRORIST! + 67 words Genre is… HORROR! +90 words Song is… Bad Times, by The Presidents of the United States of America +38 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Crimea your… Central Character is… (moved to 4 since your 3 pick got sniped) A GENIUS! +61 words Genre is…WESTERN! +26 words Song is… Bathwater, by No Doubt +195 words https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k_g9hDeOic RFT is… (moved from 9 to 4, you missed it being gone) AURORA BOREALIS! +158 words Siddhartha Glutamate your… Central Character is… NON-HUMAN + 130 words Setting is… IN A MICRONATION +101 words Genre is… FAIRY TALE + 95 words Song is… (moved from 8 to 10) I Know About You, by Milo Greene +88 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE RFT is… CUBAN CIGAR +136 Words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Ironic Twist your… Central Character is… Wealthy + 50 words Song is… (moved from 11 to 2, picked already) I Can’t Decide, by The Scissor Sisters +87 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buYrBbwyCGERFT is… DIAMOND CAPSULE
Chili fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Jul 22, 2019 |
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Jul 22, 2019 18:04
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Rodent v getsuya brawl Rodent This is better than whatever the gently caress you submitted to me last time which is damning with faint praise, really. It plays itself a little bit more straight and is less outright parody, and I think the core concept of a (literal) labyrinthian hospital works both as a comedy premise and as a magical realism premise. However, the big problem here is that you put all your eggs in the dialogue basket but that basket has no bottom and now all the eggs are on the floor and oh god im gonna have to clean that up. The dialogue has no energy in any real way, so it’s dull to read on a surface level. None of the characters really have any personality when they talk, and the setup is technically fine, but executed poorly because we have no interest in the characters. So, the problem with the story is that the base ideas are there. You have characters with motivations, you have things happening, you have complications, you have an ending, etc. But the details of all of those things are boring. The motivations are just there, the things happening are just there, the complications ae just there, the ending is just there. They don’t feel meaningful in any real way and more as things you know have to be in stories, but the main problem is that this story feels like a vessel to tell jokes, rather than being a joke itself. Like, this feels like a stand-up routine that’s trying to act like flash fiction. I’m not against having jokes in a story, i personally like laughing, maybe a controversial opinion, dont know. But, esp in flash, i think you need to have jokes that land with more power. Setups, and punchlines. Using the situation to mine humor in unexpected ways. Subverting sometimes, playing it straight sometimes. Fun characters with funny personalities and having them play off each other in fun ways. I’m not gonna say it’s easy, but I think all of those things can help make your stories be a lot more funny. Getsuya This hits magical realism in that Muffin sort of way of “metaphors, but what if real,” and works well because of that. The fear inherent in relationships with the threat of violence always present and viewing other people as terrifying insects instead of as humans resonates really well and takes advantage of what makes magical realism really cool. You also, thankfully, dont get bogged down in the details. You dont try to explain how all of this works which dumb writers might think matter. We dont need to know why insects and humans can have relationships or what happened or whatever. It’s just a thing, and that’s cool. I do think you overstep a few times, like saying that it’s only a recent thing between humans and insects and the pseudo-racism feels like something the story really doesnt need to handle because insects being other people is a strong metaphor for how we as people can view others that mudding that metaphor with “also, insect is a race metaphor kinda too” makes me go…. Mmm idk i dont know if we need that. My two large criticisms are your dialogue and your ending. The ending is the easiest part so let's start with that. It just kinda ends, and it renders a lot of your story kinda moot. Like, I enjoy the metaphor of insect relationship as being a stand-in for the uncertainty and fear that comes out when you do enter a committed relationship, but then the ending’s like, yeah, sometimes you just get murdered lol. This needed a stronger ending to really make the whole thing stick together, something more meaningful for either the characters or something to push this metaphor into something deeper. The dialogue is… well, it’s pretty boring for the most part, but it’s not terrible, and i think works for the most part in the beginning mostly because of the way you integrate the protag’s thoughts throughout the dialogue, so we get a nice contradiction between what the character is feeling and what he’s saying. But the ending dialogue becomes a bit too trite, where characters are just directly stating what they feel and it starts to fall down because it’s just a bit too direct and i wouldve liked more nuance. Overall, it’s pretty good, but it needs some refinement. Judgment Getsuya wins easily flerp fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Jul 22, 2019 |
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Jul 22, 2019 19:42
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Chili posted:Exmond your… How many extra words for a deck of cards? 52?
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Jul 22, 2019 20:37
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In. Character: 18 Setting: 9 Genre: 11 Song: 5
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Jul 22, 2019 20:44
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In. Gimme character 5, setting 4 and song 7
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Jul 22, 2019 20:49
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is this weird thing in place of, or on top of the regular weekly prompt to be picked by the winner?
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Jul 22, 2019 21:08
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derp posted:is this weird thing in place of, or on top of the regular weekly prompt to be picked by the winner? The winner of last week will make the prompt for next week.
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Jul 22, 2019 21:09
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Exmond posted:How many extra words for a deck of cards? 52? My bad! 111 words and there's also a diamond capsule in there that I missed! Congrats! Antivehicular your… Central Character is… UNDER 18 +51 words Setting is… IN A HOTEL +26 words Genre is… MYSTERY +181 words Song is… Banana Boat Song (Day-O),by Harry Bellafonte +178 words Yoruichi your… Central Character is… A COLLECTOR +69 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Setting is… IN A CITY +160 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Song is… Kingdom of Rust, by Doves +72 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Chili fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jul 22, 2019 |
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Jul 22, 2019 21:28
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We only have capsules left in two categories. If there is demand, we will do our best to rustle up some more. We'll only potentially do that if folks go in, and request new ones.
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Jul 22, 2019 21:40
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IN Setting 14 Genre 5 and if you do more RFTs I'll take one of those.
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Jul 22, 2019 22:52
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IN with Setting 10 and Genre 12 please.
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Jul 22, 2019 22:57
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Hawklad your… Setting is… ON A FARM +104 word Genre is… MYTH +43 words Solitair your… Setting is… IN PRISON +144 words Genre is… HISTORICAL FICTION +195 words
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Jul 22, 2019 23:15
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In Central character Song RANDOM TING ALL THE BIGGEST NUMBERS
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Jul 22, 2019 23:57
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There will be one final small batch of new capsules when I wake up. I'm going to sleep for 13 hours
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Jul 23, 2019 01:22
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I'll take a random central character, setting, and RFT once you bring in a big catch. Sorry I can't pick a number but there are none to pick apparently
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Jul 23, 2019 05:51
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Sorry for creating extra work for you Chili but due to time zones I think I’ll be asleep when you post the new stuff, soooo. IN! I’ll take the highest number ending in 9 for: Central Character Setting Song Random rear end Thing
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Jul 23, 2019 07:22
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I'd like to go IN with random numbers off of whatever you have left, I guess (if any)?
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Jul 23, 2019 07:23
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I'm in, with a  thanks to my last failure.I will be unconscious when you post, so please give me whatever you've got for a Setting, RFT and a Song once you get new caps up. 
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Jul 23, 2019 07:50
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BabyRyoga posted:I'd like to go IN with random numbers off of whatever you have left, I guess (if any)? I'll have enough to give you capsules from all of the categories. Specify which you'd like, please.
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Jul 23, 2019 13:27
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Hawklad your… RFT is… A UKULELE! +99 words Mercedes your… Central Character is… AN ATTORNEY +173 Words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Song is… Make Them Hear You, sung by Brian Stokes Mitchell +79 Words RFT is… AN EGG CREAM! +92 words Fuschia Tude your… Central Character is…A MURDERER! +51 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Setting is…A RETIREMENT HOME! + 117 words RFT is… A PHARMACEUTICAL TRIAL +69 Words Anomlaous Blowout your... Central Character is… ANGRY! + 88 words Setting is… IN A HOSPITAL +158 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Song is… Stone Cole Dead in the Market, Ella Fitzgerald +84 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE RFT is…Flight! + 60 words Liquid Communism your… Setting is… IN A BAR + 171 words Song is…Hellbent, by Mystery Skulls + 177 words RFT is...REAL MAGIC THAT LOOKS FAKE + 89 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE
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Jul 23, 2019 13:32
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Not a complaint not a complaint not a complaint, just a question: crits and judging for last week sometime this week or next week in time with the prompt?
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Jul 23, 2019 13:57
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Black Griffon posted:complaint SO RAGE
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Jul 23, 2019 14:23
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Chili posted:I'll have enough to give you capsules from all of the categories. Specify which you'd like, please. Ok, can I do all then?
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Jul 23, 2019 14:37
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BabyRyoga posted:Ok, can I do all then? Yup. Thought that was what you wanted. Just needed to be sure. Didn't want to slam you with things you didn't want. Standby for your capsules!
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Jul 23, 2019 15:19
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in Central Character: 25 Setting: 22 RFT: 23 Doing this on phone, so apologies if I made a mistake
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Jul 23, 2019 15:45
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QuoProQuid your… Central Character is…PROUD +132 Words Setting is…ANTARCTICA +71 words RFT is...FAKE MAGIC THAT LOOKS REAL + 140 words BabyRyoga your… Central Character is… A FARMER +170 words Setting is… VIRTUAL REALITY +186 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Song is… Silhouettes, by Colony House +54 words Genre is… POST-APOCALYPTIC+ 188 words RFT is… A PROPHESY! + 102 words
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Jul 23, 2019 15:50
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Black Griffon posted:Not a complaint not a complaint not a complaint, just a question: crits and judging for last week sometime this week or next week in time with the prompt? This week. It has been delayed slightly due to health reasons, but judgement is coming. That said, as there's only one judge, anyone who does crits for last week's stories will be much appreciated, I'm sure.
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Jul 23, 2019 17:24
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In. Not sure what's left so please just give me the lowest numbers still on the board from all categoriesDjeser posted:This week. It has been delayed slightly due to health reasons, but judgement is coming. Everything okay? Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Jul 23, 2019 |
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Jul 23, 2019 17:41
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Drunk Nerds posted:In. Not sure what's left so please just give me the lowest numbers still on the board from all categories It's all in the picture. But yes, I will give you the lowest numbers left. Gonna be a little bit. Standby.
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Jul 23, 2019 17:59
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Oh, I see now. So 21, 21, 4, and 21. Thanks!
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Jul 23, 2019 18:11
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Djeser posted:This week. It has been delayed slightly due to health reasons, but judgement is coming. I can provide crits.
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Jul 23, 2019 18:11
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Drunk Nerds your… Central Character is… LOST! + 151 words Setting is… A REMOTE LOCATION! +102 words and a…. DIAMOND CAPSULE Song is… Walk Like an Egyptian, The Bangles +35 words Genre is… LEGAL! + 54 words
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Jul 23, 2019 20:41
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