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Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
Jeffrey Epstein was:

*the highest priority inmate currently in the US justice system

and

*at the highest risk for murder/suicide of any inmate in the system

and

*every staff member of his prison knew this unequivocally

and he still died.

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IShallRiseAgain
Sep 12, 2008

Well ain't that precious?

So many people wanted that turd sandwich dead, it wouldn't surprise me if there were multiple hits put on the guy at once.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

IShallRiseAgain posted:

So many people wanted that turd sandwich dead, it wouldn't surprise me if there were multiple hits put on the guy at once.

https://twitter.com/bazecraze/status/1160297197717655558?s=20

Kaiju Cage Match
Nov 5, 2012




IShallRiseAgain posted:

So many people wanted that turd sandwich dead, it wouldn't surprise me if there were multiple hits put on the guy at once.

they pooled their money together to hire one assassin

PoontifexMacksimus
Feb 14, 2012

chitoryu12 posted:

Witnesses have named tons of people, including ones like Ghislaine Maxwell who allegedly procured the girls for him.

Who appears to be nowhere to be found ATM... You know her (also intelligence corruption connected) dad just fell off his yacht and drowned? It was even named after her! Very tragic to see history repeated.

PoontifexMacksimus
Feb 14, 2012

Intelligence assets are, of course, recruited above all else for their strong sense of bushido; like the ancient ninja their would sooner die than bring dishonour upon their employers.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Bust Rodd posted:

Jeffrey Epstein was:

*the highest priority inmate currently in the US justice system

and

*at the highest risk for murder/suicide of any inmate in the system

and

*every staff member of his prison knew this unequivocally

and he still died.

You seem to think the world works like a thriller TV show.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


Bust Rodd posted:

Jeffrey Epstein was:

*the highest priority inmate currently in the US justice system

and

*at the highest risk for murder/suicide of any inmate in the system

and

*every staff member of his prison knew this unequivocally

and he still died.

This is putting a lot of money on the fallacy that the U.S. prison system ever exists in a state other than "broken."

It's already coming out that the guards weren't following procedure because they just didn't have the staffing.

It may yet come out that someone murdered him for cred in the yard, and hell, Epstein may have done the needful and bought off the guards himself. But if you can reach your tendrils down into the sewer of the U.S. prison system you could have done a Michael Clayton any old time that would have been more convenient.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

chitoryu12 posted:

You seem to think the world works like a thriller TV show.

Did you miss the billionaire rape island conspiracy part or...?

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Sodomy Hussein posted:

It's already coming out that the guards “weren't following procedure” because they just “didn't” “have” the “staffing.”

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Das Boo posted:

Did you miss the billionaire rape island conspiracy part or...?

And? That doesn't suddenly turn the US prison system into a hyper-competent Judge Dredd isocube complex. Epstein making it through his time in prison without a single issue would be more unusual.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
Look if you really believe that Epstein killed himself at the exact same moment the cameras malfunctioned, you are transparently dumber than a bucket a glue.

Pirate Jet
May 2, 2010
Literally nobody is saying that the American prison system, or even that prison in particular, is hyper-competent and that suicide watch is a guarantee that you’ll catch every attempt a prisoner makes at taking their own life. What they are saying is that it’s pretty weird that Epstein was apparently put on the world’s shortest suicide watch shortly before he was meant to give testimonies that could incriminate a significant portion of the world’s most powerful people.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Bust Rodd posted:

Look if you really believe that Epstein killed himself at the exact same moment the cameras malfunctioned, you are transparently dumber than a bucket a glue.

There’s no credible news source saying there was a camera malfunction. Actual news says they didn’t have a camera pointed in his cell, he had no cellmate, and the guards were lazy and didn’t do their required rounds.

So, you know, a normal day in an American prison.

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009

chitoryu12 posted:

There’s no credible news source saying there was a camera malfunction. Actual news says they didn’t have a camera pointed in his cell, he had no cellmate, and the guards were lazy and didn’t do their required rounds.

So, you know, a normal day in an American prison.

you're making me more convinced he was murdered, not less

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747
Yeah, even the most charitable interpretation of events 100% allows for him to have been murdered.

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer
I like to think that all the super-assassins cancelled each out, but managed to distract the guards so efficiently that Epstein could kill himself in the confusion.

That would be a cool concept for a Hitman level, actually. Instead of killing the target yourself, you have to distract all the people preventing him from killing himself.

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

chitoryu12 posted:

And? That doesn't suddenly turn the US prison system into a hyper-competent Judge Dredd isocube complex. Epstein making it through his time in prison without a single issue would be more unusual.

Don't imply that the Isocubes would be anywhere near as bad as a real american prison. Dredd alone would take care of any corrupt guards and certainly would not take extrajudicial measures lightly.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
47 wouldn’t stand for this

He’d be killing Epstein out of principle but he’d be taking names and killing the other pedos too

Who would be paying enough to make it worthwhile when the targets could easily quadruple it is another story

Unoriginal Name
Aug 1, 2006

by sebmojo
Smokin Aces is the better rubric here

Coffee And Pie
Nov 4, 2010

"Blah-sum"?
More like "Blawesome"

Unoriginal Name posted:

Smokin Aces is the better rubric here

Appropriate since it stars noted sex pest Jeremy Piven

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Coffee And Pie posted:

Appropriate since it stars noted sex pest Jeremy Piven

Oh poo poo, really? I knew he was a huge rear end in a top hat but I must have missed him being actual poo poo.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


Rhyno posted:

Oh poo poo, really? I knew he was a huge rear end in a top hat but I must have missed him being actual poo poo.

He has at least three sexual assault allegations to his name at this point.

Zogo
Jul 29, 2003

Former MCC inmate: There’s ‘no way’ Jeffrey Epstein killed himself
https://nypost.com/2019/08/10/former-mcc-inmate-theres-no-way-jeffrey-epstein-killed-himself/

Epstein death shifts focus to British alleged co-conspirator Ghislaine Maxwell
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/epstein-death-britain-alleged-co-conspirator-ghislaine-maxwell-prince-andrew-2019-08-12/

Wealth of Jeffrey Epstein’s Brother Is Also a Mystery
https://www.wsj.com/articles/wealth-of-jeffrey-epsteins-brother-is-also-a-mystery-11565607148

BioEnchanted posted:

Don't imply that the Isocubes would be anywhere near as bad as a real american prison. Dredd alone would take care of any corrupt guards and certainly would not take extrajudicial measures lightly.

At this juncture I wonder if Judge Dredd would've released the Robert Kraft sex tapes by now. Because I'm starting to wonder where they are.

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


Zogo posted:

At this juncture I wonder if Judge Dredd would've released the Robert Kraft sex tapes by now. Because I'm starting to wonder where they are.

Judge Dredd would have turned the White House into a charnel house and then slaughtered his way through the agri industry just to be even-handed.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Brother Entropy posted:

you're making me more convinced he was murdered, not less

An American prison operating like it normally does isn't evidence?

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009

chitoryu12 posted:

An American prison operating like it normally does isn't evidence?

i mean, your argument is that there's nothing fishy about epstein of all people being treated like any other prisoner by prison staff

Macdeo Lurjtux
Jul 5, 2011

BRRREADSTOOORRM!

Alan Smithee posted:

47 wouldn’t stand for this

He’d be killing Epstein out of principle but he’d be taking names and killing the other pedos too

And also every guard in the prison after being discovered and panicking.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

chitoryu12 posted:

And? That doesn't suddenly turn the US prison system into a hyper-competent Judge Dredd isocube complex. Epstein making it through his time in prison without a single issue would be more unusual.

So do you think assassinations don't happen or that this case isn't high profile enough for assassination to have happened? I've been struggling to understand why the idea of Epstein being murdered is such an outlandish idea when he was such a liability for the world's most rich and powerful.

I'm also curious as to why his autopsy is requiring "further information" and had to be overseen by Dr. Baden, an absolute legend in forensic pathology. And why it's being investigated by the FBI if it being a suicide is so apparent.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.
I really want to see a Black Summer (the meh comic where a superhero kills the entire W Bush White House).

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Brother Entropy posted:

i mean, your argument is that there's nothing fishy about epstein of all people being treated like any other prisoner by prison staff

:hmmyes:

The Peccadillo
Mar 4, 2013

We Have Important Work To Do

chitoryu12 posted:

An American prison operating like it normally does isn't evidence?

First suicide in the MCC "Guantanamo of New York" in its 44 years, apparently. Most neglectful deaths that get called unavoidable suicides are like, mentally ill people in li'l jails and lockups

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Das Boo posted:

So do you think assassinations don't happen or that this case isn't high profile enough for assassination to have happened? I've been struggling to understand why the idea of Epstein being murdered is such an outlandish idea when he was such a liability for the world's most rich and powerful.

I'm also curious as to why his autopsy is requiring "further information" and had to be overseen by Dr. Baden, an absolute legend in forensic pathology. And why it's being investigated by the FBI if it being a suicide is so apparent.

A murder wouldn't do anything to eliminate physical evidence and might actually remove pressure from witnesses that he would have intimidated or bribed. He has little motivation to sell out everyone else because there wasn't much chance he would get a good deal at this point anyway at the age of 66, and he was known to have a weird complex about going to prison.

I can't find any credible info that the FBI is investigating his death. They raided his island, but a Justice Department inquest was opened into his death because of the staff being about as incompetent as they normally are with other prisoners. The fact that his property is being raided for evidence is a pretty good sign that the investigation isn't shutting down despite his death, like people claimed it would.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



"Huh, the main guy was murdered. Guess there's no danger in being part of this case!"

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY
Basically people are saying Epstein killed himself because of affluenza. :lol:

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
Nothing unusual about any of this, stop being paranoid.

https://twitter.com/justin_halpern/status/1161117796127793154?s=19

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

college kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/justin_halpern/status/1161125017649762304?s=20

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
Full disclosure, I posted that while I was in line for the bathroom at a bar.

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Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames

chitoryu12 posted:

A murder wouldn't do anything to eliminate physical evidence and might actually remove pressure from witnesses that he would have intimidated or bribed. He has little motivation to sell out everyone else because there wasn't much chance he would get a good deal at this point anyway at the age of 66, and he was known to have a weird complex about going to prison.

I can't find any credible info that the FBI is investigating his death. They raided his island, but a Justice Department inquest was opened into his death because of the staff being about as incompetent as they normally are with other prisoners. The fact that his property is being raided for evidence is a pretty good sign that the investigation isn't shutting down despite his death, like people claimed it would.

If the FBI found child pornography AFTER Epstein's billionaire team of evidence sweepers went through his mansion, what kind of stuff do you think they were prioritizing.

Epstein could possibly link even scarier or more powerful people to even more untoward or hosed up things. Honestly if someone told me Epstein island (Kid Rock) had a mass grave full of tiny bones I wouldn't bat an eyelash.

Also, my brother is in jail for murder and has been in solitary more times than he can count, and he's just a murderer in the middle of North Carolina and he told me with 100% confidence there is absolutely no way the richest prisoner in the world isn't being monitored 24/7, and they wouldn't put tired and overworked guards on the highest profile inmate with what is essentially a bounty on his head.

I mean all your arguments are essentially boiling down to "Nah, the system is working and now that we have all the evidence there isn't any reason to keep Epstein from continuing to spill the beans." which is unabshedly naive, but also just incongruous with literally everything we know about our prison system and the world at large.

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