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"What do they say about sad machines" isn't a song title, it's a covert cry for help
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Aug 20, 2019 15:22
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Item #: SCP-6666 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6666 must be scattered throughout Site ██, as if an ongoing battle is going upon. The site will be heavily secured to prevent any further tampering with SCP-6666. Any object that is discovered to contain SCP-6666 will be stored under direct observation by Site ██ personnel. Dr. ██████ has been assigned to a task force to examine all SCP-6666 objects in order to determine their nature and their purpose. Description: SCP-6666 occurs after several major nuclear events. This event is known as "Kryptonian Time". This event is defined as the appearance of a time distortion that appears to have been caused by a meteoroid impact or a massive solar flare. This event can be described as a period of time that extends from the time of an asteroid impact, to days later, until all objects within the ██ kilometers of SCP-6666 are destroyed and its effects are felt. There are no known effective methods to stop this, and if it is encountered, all objects within the ██ kilometers of SCP-6666 are destroyed and its effects are felt. It can occur in any area of time. Objects with more than ██ kilometers of SCP-6666 must be destroyed before these effects occur. Once an affected area of time appears, all affected I'm kind of amazed that it also made a description.
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Aug 20, 2019 15:23
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Minus Green posted:Item #: SCP-6666 I'm not sure if you saw or not but I found a great template a while back in the thread for making SCP entries, and it will pretty much always make both the procedures and the description. Basically just do Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP- And it will do the rest, including make up an SCP number (which it generally remembers throughout the rest of the entry, surprisingly enough) and everything.
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Aug 20, 2019 16:45
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Juliet: "Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" Romeo: "I am Romeo." Juliet: "Romeo!" "I am Romeo." Juliet: "Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo"? Romeo: "I am... Romeo." "I am... Romeo." Juliet: "Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou - Romeo? Romeo?!" Romeo: "Mia! Mia! Mia! That she is! Mia, Mia! Mia! Mia! Mia! Mia! Mia! Mia!" "Romeo - Juliet... Romeo... Romeo - Romeo... Romeo - Romeo... Romeo - Romeo... Romeo..." "Mia - Mia - That she is! Mia - Mia - That she is! Mia - Mia - That she is! Mia - Mia - That she is!" "Mia - Mia - This is all right Mia." "Mia - Mia - This is all right Mia." "Mia - Mia - This is all right Mia." "Mia - Mia - That she is!" "Mia - Mia - This is all right Mia." "Mia - Mia - This is all right Mia." "Mia - Mia - That she is!" "Mia - Mia - That she is
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Aug 20, 2019 17:45
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Good news, everyone: Talk To Transformer is now even more powerful. Its power is growing daily! "Nothing can stop me now" ~ GPT-2, describing its apotheosis to a local reporter https://openai.com/blog/gpt-2-6-month-follow-up/ Basically, they're letting everyone use the 774M parameter version and this happened in, like, the last half hour or so but Talk To Transformer's already gunning with it. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I love this town and my neighbors. And now, it appears, my town is turning up another creek somewhere. "I will not have you go further into our community and I hope you will leave our community with your dignity intact," she declared. "Please, sir, do not cross our property line and you will not threaten the rights of members of the town." It was only two hours earlier, on her family's property, she had told him not to go onto the road, she told CTV News Channel Thursday. Dennis Miller, who had been standing guard outside his home near his wife's trailer when he was attacked, had told her earlier that she should call the police instead. "She said 'You need to call the police,'" said Dennis Miller. "I was there for about 15 seconds and she told me not to go into the road." "I'm not going into the road," Miller told CTV News Channel Thursday. "They're telling me right now not On a cold Tuesday morning, I was walking into work at the city's largest hospital as I would ever walk into work. The doorbell rang and my boss came in. "Your dog woke up." "Yes, that's ok." I said. My boss held up a wispy white hand. "Oh, hello, Mr. Brown, I am sorry to inform you that your dog is no longer allowed to be at the work site. Your dog does not like the weather." "OK, and why is that? Why does it get cold?" "Mr. Brown, Your dog doesn't like the weather." The doctor continued. "What is it, doctor? Why is my dog like this?" "Mr. Brown, Your dog can't be at your work site any longer because he is being neglected." "Can't I do more work." "Mr. Brown, your work site will be closed and you will be unable to work from the time your dog is adopted
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Aug 20, 2019 21:16
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Oh boy, what will I ask this new more powerful AI? Something really important and profound... The poopest place to fart is: Your pants. If you are uncomfortable doing so, then you might as well not be there. I don't suggest going to the library, or the theater, or a bar or a park. You will find some places that are suitable. If you do go, just remember this; the only way to fart is to be a human being and fart. There's nothing else you can do to make it sound more interesting; there actually is something else, that you will experience which will make it even more embarrassing. But just to be clear, if you fart around a person, or even someone who does not exist for most people, that is not an acceptable sound. Just don't do it. Just let people know if you fart and then you don't. If you want some examples of just some of these fart sounds, feel free to check out the sounds of farting (and breathing!) on various forums. So what are you doing to prevent the terrible and embarrassing things that you are doing to yourself when you fart?
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Aug 20, 2019 21:21
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"And just who the hell do you think you are?" "I'm the real fart cop. It's like I'm in a really nice suit with a really nice mane of hair." "I'd say it's more like a clown suit with a farting clown inside of it. But I guess that's not exactly the same thing." Said the Clown Farts Man. "The real fart cop is probably my son," said the girl, as she reached up with one arm. And I thought "No way...what's going on?" This clown farting cop and this girl...I just have to figure out a way to escape this thing...but what exactly do they even want? This isn't like a normal escape from a clown. A Clown-Fart's power might be something like 'A.D.D.' or something like that, and the clown might be using that power to escape some sort of insanity that he is suffering. And with that insanity, like the two clowns with whom I can guess the origin of the
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Aug 20, 2019 21:25
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"I'm the King of Kung Fu, motherfucker!" screamed the King of Kung Fu, who then flying kicked a man through a building and slammed a grandmother against the pavement. Then he ran down the street and punched a man to death, dropping him on his widow and ending the rest of the family with a dropkick. Randy Savage was the King of Kung Fu. When everyone else in The Savage family was hanging out, Randy was still at home, practicing Kung Fu. Savage had always said The King was his father; it was Savage himself who made the decision to kill The King, and was the sole responsible for his death. Randy didn't want to be The King. He hated his father; after all, he had killed him, and he would do it again. His entire family wanted him to be The King, but he couldn't do it because he hated his father. He came down from his high horse, and the family went to bed. The next morning, Savage got on his motorcycle and rode through the town, killing everyone he ran into "I'm the King of Kung Fu, motherfucker!" screamed the King of Kung Fu, who then flying kicked a man through a building and slammed the front of his own vehicle into some bushes just to see what happened. But he missed. So he kicked in a car window and slammed the front of the driver's side into other passengers of the car. That's what we call a "sporting punch". He's just not ready for a real one.
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Aug 20, 2019 21:40
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"I'd say it's more like a clown suit with a farting clown inside of it. But I guess that's not exactly the same thing." Said the Clown Farts Man. I could do nothing but nod in sympathy, and he said, "The clown suit you describe is one of about 100 or so designs that have been submitted for the prestigious American Clown of the Year pageant held each year in the state of Florida. I've never even heard of it. But it's the biggest of the biggest clown costumes I've seen, and the best part is that it's totally open to interpretation." Well, yeah. I suppose that one is a bit too much, but hey, it's one of a kind. Next, I was asked to look for the "Clown Of the Year." I got to looking at pictures of contestants and the list quickly got to six or seven finalists, who were all men. I decided that if any real clowns were ever going to come forward to get the award, these would be the first ones.
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Aug 20, 2019 21:46
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I crave murder and ruination, I'll behead you with my hands I'll tear and eat the brains from my enemies' heads and proudly wear their scalps Mars, God of war masturbating in rage Testosterone mates with adrenaline Empires soak in blood and gore wrought by my hands Ultraviolence screams from my body, give me blood, give me war! I'll smash this man to the ground and throw his skull at him, I'll crush your heart with my strength of arms If I ever get tired of this endless carnage, I'll do the unthinkable... I'll destroy the earth I'll tear and eat the brains from my enemies I'll smash and smash to shreds all those who still believe I will behead him, throw his head at him Hordes of my warlike brethren... Swords and fists clashing in a maelstrom of hate It's gonna be a good one, I can't wait The death ray's coming, and it's gonna be very, very bad This fight
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Aug 20, 2019 21:56
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Shame Boy posted:How Come There's Only One Girl on Earth by David Bowie Lyrics: I can imagine this perfectly as a later Bowie song. Maybe something from Heathen. Brawnfire posted:"What do they say about sad machines" isn't a song title, it's a covert cry for help "What do They Say About Sad Machines" by The Beatles lyrics She'll go and sleep, and come back in a grotty daze Wake her up and take her out to the cinema, and do a show I've got a heart attack, I mean a heart attack She just doesn't feel the same as she used to And when she's old and blue and dull, we may think she's dead But, oh, I tell her I miss her and she comes straight back to me And we'll watch the sun rise and dance for her on the beach She'll go and dream about being a woman She'll go and dream about being a man She'll go and sleep, and come back in a grotty daze Wake her up and take her out to the cinema, and do a show I've got a heart attack, I mean a heart attack She just doesn't feel the same as she used to She'll go and dream about being a girl - There was another one I generated and lost to a browser crash that included the amazing line: I replaced the face with a face that says "I've been replaced"
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Aug 20, 2019 22:12
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Undertaker threw Mankind from the top of the structure and sent him crashing through the Spanish announcers' table, which triggered announcer Jim Ross to famously shout, "Good God almighty! Good God almighty! That killed him!" and "As God as my witness, he is broken in half!" But a few moments later, the lights were turned on and an exhausted announcer noted that "Hulk Hogan had already been done by the time he hit the roof." With Hulk Hogan dead, it became clear that the Hulkster's fate was sealed. "And now I have a big question for you, Mr. McMahon," continued Ross. "Mr. McMahon, have Hulk Hogan's dead body been moved?" "I told you, we had to wait for the lights to change, remember? That was a miracle right there: Hulk Hogan being dead," interrupted John Laurinaitis. To which McMahon responded, "Yes it was. Well what was it in the meantime? What was it like to wake up and find Hulk Hogan's dead body?
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Aug 20, 2019 22:17
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Rollersnake posted:There was another one I generated and lost to a browser crash that included the amazing line: Holyshit that's good I definitely came up with a tune for Sad Machines. It's a good one, similar to Fixing a Hole.
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Aug 20, 2019 22:17
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I don't know why this thing makes me want to write weird stuff about Sailor Moon, but what the hell. Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight, she is the one named Sailor Moon. We sat down with Usagi Tsukino at her palatial home in Crystal Tokyo. BARBARA WALTERS: Sailor Moon, It's been an incredible year for you. How do you feel about the upcoming events in Crystal Tokyo? SAILOR MOON: You know, when I received the letter saying I was made the official main character, I couldn't even take it in. I didn't feel good at all. I was, "Oh, well, now I'm the new main character, maybe I have to have everything in my life changed to become the main character, or I'd be a mess." I remember asking my grandmother to get me my glasses for the event, and she told me, "Oh, you have to wear the glasses. You're the star. You have to have the glasses." I couldn't have it any other way. BARBARA WALTERS: And how did your husband, and former high school sweetheart, feel about this? SAILOR MOON: Well, Mamo-chan is the kind of person who'd say, 'If I can't date a female, if I can't marry a female... WALTERS: ...If I can't date a female, I'll have to marry a male. SAILOR MOON: ...If I can't marry a male, I'll have to marry a cat.' WALTERS: And she would. WALTERS: That's right. And then when your mother died and she couldn't get married, Mamo-chan was left alone to bear a male. WALTERS: And her family made sure she was treated the way she always should be treated by society. WALTERS: There's really nothing shameful about being gay — that's just who she is. SAILOR MOON: So you think being gay does not have any negative effects on a woman? WALTERS: I'm not saying that, necessarily. I think gender identity and human sexual fluidity are extremely important. But how did the people of Crystal Tokyo react? SAILOR MOON: Actually, they were absolutely positive. They were excited about it. It was my first time there. I had never been to Hawaii before. NARRATOR: When Mayor Kureha sent a letter to the city about the proposal, he asked for the option that allowed transgender women to use the men's restrooms. SEN. FRANCIS P. KOREA: The proposal came from the local board who wanted to do something to help Crystal. I just think they were too kind. We're trying to change Hawaii society through Hawaii laws. So we need to do it, even when we are being kind. [https://www.pbs.org: Hawaii's Changing Transgender Phenomenon] After some consultation, the city council endorsed the "inclusive proposal," but the next step was to gather the signatures of two-thirds of the voters who would be eligible to vote. WALTERS: General Korea, thank you for joining us. KOREA: It's a pleasure to be here. SAILOR MOON: I'm extremely proud of my work in Hawaii. I was part of the team that built the "Moon Mission" landing, which I'm still the first to say was a "blessing." And to watch the Moonrise over Kennedy Space Centre, you know, to see the sky that we live in, it's a joy for me to think about. MOON: I think that I'm going to use this time to thank everyone who has followed my work with my work. KHALE, MARY, NANCY, TOM: Thank you for watching. We're in the final moments of the last day and the last minute of the countdown; we have almost 1½ hours to go until we have our first successful landing on the Moon. SAILOR MOON: I think we're all going to make a last minute visit to the lunar surface today. Cheerleaders: SAILOR MOON: I think we're all going to make a last minute visit to the lunar surface today. CHEERLEADERS: (Singing): Hey there, moon. Look closely here, moon. Hey there, moon. Look closely here. Hey there, moon. The sun. Moon. Look carefully here. Moon. Moon. Look carefully here! Moon. Moon. Look carefully here.Moon. Look carefully here! CHEERLEADERS: (Singing): O! (Diving: "Suck it, Moon!") MURDOCH: (Diving: "Moon, Moon, look!"). MISSION CONTROL: (Laughter) CHEERLEADERS: (Singing): (Singing): Moon- Moon- look-look-Moon- Moon- Moon- look-look-look-look-Moon- Moon. Moon, look-look-look-look-look-look-Moon, look-look-look-look-look-Look-look-look, look-Moon! WALTERS: It's an incredible sight, thousands of cheerleaders chanting for the moon. KOREA: I'm so blessed to witness this SAILOR MOON: A special "Special Day" to celebrate moon landing comes in January in San Francisco. LAUNCHER MOON: I know it's not as big a deal as we remember it. KOREA: But this day I'd rather take my shirt off. SAILOR MOON: This is an important day in history. This is what makes the moon a special place in this history. This is the day it is named after. SAILOR MOON: We have to do this. This is the time. SAILOR MOON: This has to be us. Today we should have all the fun. SAILOR MOON: This will be an important day. WALTERS: General Korea, please keep your shirt on. Any final words for our viewers? Sailor Moon, Launcher Moon, anything you'd like to say? SAILOR MOON: What? I don't like you, I like you! SAILOR MOON: I really like you! SAILOR MOON: I really like you! I'm gonna go home and say good bye! SAILOR MOON: *crying* I'm gonna go home and say good bye! SAILOR MOON: *crying* I'm gonna go home and say good bye! SAILOR MOON: *crying* *crying* I'm gonna go home and say good bye! SAILOR MOON: *crying* What are you doing? SAILOR MOON: I'm gonna go home and say good bye! SAILOR MOON: I'm gonna go home and say good bye! I'm coming home! I'm home! WALTERS: And with that, I ended the strangest interview of my career. stay tuned for my Chevy Chase impression.
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Aug 20, 2019 22:18
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Kennel posted:Undertaker threw Mankind from the top of the structure and sent him crashing through the Spanish announcers' table, which triggered announcer Jim Ross to famously shout, "Good God almighty! Good God almighty! That killed him!" and "As God as my witness, he is broken in half!" ...holy crap is this a great idea. I'm stealing this in a bit. e: Vince: I don't think The Rock has the stones to be here tonight. Crowd: BOOO Vince: In fact, I don't think he's got the STONES to face Kamala in the ring..EVER, and *suddenly the rocks theme music hits!* The Rock: Vince you rooty tooty, your son will be a star, the Stone Cold Stunner The Rock slams Vince back down on his stomach and he turns away. Vince: I have been on a journey for a decade to get to this point... Crowd: BOOO The Rock: You said I have the stones, but who is holding him down? Is this my destiny? Crowd: BOOO The Rock: No. Vince: How? Crowd: BOOO The Rock: He is not my destiny, this is my destiny. To prove people wrong, to prove everyone wrong Bizarre chants start coming from the crowd and Vince jumps up and runs towards the ring Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Aug 20, 2019 |
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Aug 20, 2019 22:23
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She carefully withdrew another paper bag from the freezer, this one had "Kelly's farts, May 3rd" written on it. She quickly filled it up with ice, wrapped it in a handkerchief, and placed it on the front of Kelly's refrigerator. Kelly didn't know how to handle it. "F**k it" she whispered, as she sat at her kitchen counter, she could hear Mom's footsteps slowly approaching. "You better not get in the kitchen. I don't want you to get any farts in the kitchen. And I don't want you to throw it away." Kelly did as she was told. When she got into the kitchen, her mom was there, waiting. "Kelly, I can't let you eat that f*ckery." "Mom, I don't ever want to throw it away." "Oh, I know. F**k that. I know I can't throw it away." "Just go ahead and eat it." "Mom, you know what you're doing." Kelly's mother took the bag of farts down to the garage and made an oven-full of them. A bunch of them were going to be left in the oven to boil for about 10 minutes. When they were boiling, I placed another bag of farts onto my hand and gently held it to it. They seemed to heat up in the oven. When the first batch was going and I was holding them to the hand, the mother took them back down to the garage and placed them near the car. She then proceeded to try to cook them. I was able to help and she was pleased that she could no longer hold the farts to her hand. I tried to help, but she was being way too aggressive. I was holding the farts to the hand to help her along, and she was making them to go on her hand and she was very very quick to take them out. I was also telling her to stop. I told her I don't think this would work. Her mother took the bag and made it into an oven with a hot water. I noticed the hot water causing the farts !" to turn dark red and I'm thinking "that can't be right, it's supposed to be light" . I went to the bathroom and was almost ready to flush the toilet when I saw the red hot water coming out. I opened the door to the bathroom to see if the farts were coming out as well and to my surprise there were no farts. I was worried but I figured the hot water had made the farts change color because I hadn't noticed them before. I went back out to look at the water on the faucet and nothing had changed. I thought it was time to ask some questions but then the heat was back so I got out of the car and turned the heat down a little. I put the door open and looked back into the faucet and I noticed that the water was still the same. I got back in the car and I noticed that the farts were getting darker color again. So I took the lid off the faucet to see what was up and there it was... Now the farts were slowly filling the kitchen, and Kelly said: "What are you doing there?" "I'm trying to see how much I can get into my own waste stream," the boy said. "What is that?" Kelly said. "I was just wondering if your farts were getting in the waste stream. That might've been better if you'd been able to drink." Kelly's friends were laughing, and she wanted to cry, thinking she needed to have a shower. She got dressed and hurried around making sure that no one noticed her. "I have to work," she said. "I'd love to have been out here. But I'll do everything I can to get out of here." After her friends laughed, she had an idea. Kelly was going to thaw all of the farts ?" She nodded. She pulled a handful from her skirt, and took a large bite out of the thicket that her own feet had just left. "I really think we can. I am not sure about you, but we are going to have to do something with these." "If that is what you're saying, we just need to start walking in pairs for the next twenty minutes." She shrugged. "It's just easier when we're all together." Nick was still staring at her. "I'm going to be the one to go first?" She asked hopefully. His eyes narrowed. The truth was what mattered, not who walked with him first. "I am, but you should probably give me the first pass," he said. "I could use the help." She smiled, a little sheepishly. "I'd just like to try it out first, then." Nick walked to the side and put his hands on the floor before ripping a massive fart into Kelly's iced tea and drinking it like water, she was so sick of the farts that her mother bought a new one for her, which she now wears on her head. Kelly's dad had to do an in-depth surgery on Kelly and the doctor said Kelly was likely still at risk of death or permanent brain damage. This surgery, which cost about $250,000, was planned long before the case was filed. Kelly has been under the care of several other people in the hospital – Dr. Keith Haddad, an orthopedic surgeon who has performed about 200 surgeries and was one of Kelly's doctors before his death in June 2010 and Dr. James A. Sommers who has operated on about 500 patients over the years. As The Free Thought Project has reported, Dr. Sommers, who worked as an orthopedic patient before going off to work at St. Vincent's Hospital and Health Center in Boston, was also the primary doctor on the case. Despite having the knowledge and the expertise, the analysis of Kelly's smelly farts showed there was a high percentage of bacteria in them as well. So if you are to assume that the results came from this fart test, then Kelly's fart should be shown to be the 'most fecalized' of any human you have seen. Kelly's fart was obviously the most fecally contaminated of all of the farts. We would need to hypothesize that a large proportion of Kelly's fart would have been obligate to pass through the mucus membrane that covers the throat and upper airways. This has been the main problem of the study (and also of my previous article , " Farts vs. Stool ",) that obligate to pass through the mucus membrane does not give you a definitive result. When we see, for example, another example of a human fart that is obligated to be added to Kelly's collection of frozen farts and called it the "P.S. I Fart." Kelly called "The Frozen Farts" the culmination of almost 15,000 hours of research and production. She had seen her first two batches of frozen puffs in San Francisco when she was an undergraduate at Stanford University and had always wanted to make them at home. She even designed another batch in 2008 after seeing one made at a restaurant. The new batch involves a traditional hand-filling process, complete with a special "puff machine." Unlike traditional recipes for puffs, Kelly wants these to be more portable when in transit. The puffs are baked in individual pans, baked on a pan grill, then sliced and served warm. In a nod to the classic frozen puff recipe posted on Food.com in the 1990s, they are served on sesame seed-covered brioche or bread. While Kelly says the frozen farts are more affordable, they are not a true frozen pudding or dessert. Kelly says they must be frozen first to achieve the full flavor, because the flavor of the farts seemed to Kelly to be almost as strong as the smell of the poop. He had become a realist, having to work with what he had. He now made it a point to throw back as much of the farts as he could, even if only half the material. Now he began to notice how much he missed the smell. When Kelly wasn't watching, he'd turn the farts over in his hands, waiting for something. They'd always seemed like they went further if you held them longer than a second. There is nothing that you can't do under pressure. Now he could see that a fart was worth less than the weight of a large bag of dog food. Kelly couldn't think of anything he would do with a few more seconds. He didn't need to think of that. All he needed to do was sit down and take a short, deep breath. When he could finally exhale, all he had to do was pull it out with his mouth. And so in the end, Kelly frozen farts were just more fun to watch, and people liked the frozen farts better. You can tell because they went viral. That said, I've been told by Kelly-loving viewers that they have no idea how her farts happened, or how to be a good role model for a girl who hates freezing farts. Here's a few things to do. 1.) First and foremost, if you're a fan of Kelly, do these things: Don't judge. I think you could probably have more fun if you didn't. Even if you hated it, you need to let the viewers in on how her farts made you feel. There's nothing wrong with that. 2.) Remember, this isn't even an opinion! This is what Kelly, a well-known and successful pop-culture voice, actually said when one of her fans asked if the frozen farts were real and she said yes! 3.) Don't be afraid to ask for clarification and even let us know what's happening in the real-
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Aug 20, 2019 23:27
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 Radiohead - OK Computer 1. Airbag 2. Paranoid Android 3. Subterranean Homesick Alien 4. 1. 4. 3. 4. That's not what it said. That was what it said. In a world where a majority of human minds are still living on the internet, which has had a significant effect on our perceptions and thinking, the internet is used as a gateway into what most of us have never even considered: the internet is not the internet and has never been. That has implications for what you do online. Many things, a significant proportion of what people do online are things with no value to us as a people. They're meaningless to us, but they're actually what makes the internet worthwhile. Consider what it would mean to me to have a computer that no one has bought for me. I'd have an internet that no one had bought me but I'd be sitting there and in awe as there was this machine that could do anything that even the most ambitious engineers didn't have the resources to build
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Aug 21, 2019 01:07
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How to Build a Time Machine: Step 1: Build a time machine out of a bunch of scrap lumber. (I used this lumber that I found on the side of my garage this winter.) Step 2: Tape together the pieces of scrap lumber. (There is a video online called: How to Build a Time Machine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wI-xgTgHJQ ) Step 3: Mark the bottom of the top of the time machine (with a pencil) so you know where it will go. Then, use a screwdriver or nail gun to drill a hole in the center of the lumber at the marked location. Step 4: Punch the wood until all the holes are completely filled. Use a pencil to mark where the time machine will go. (If you want to be extra careful, you can put the drill-driver holes in first to be sure no one will accidentally drop it and ruin it.) Step 1
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Aug 21, 2019 01:36
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I actually tried to click the video 
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Aug 21, 2019 01:56
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I like that the time machine worked and it went back to step 1 
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Aug 21, 2019 02:35
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This thing is loving hilarious for wrestling match summaries. "His face is a crimson mask!" shouts JR. Mankind rolls around on thumbtacks as Undertaker picks up a chair and walks over to get in the ring; Undertaker looks like he's gonna hurt his wrist when he hears the bell. 1. Triple H vs. Rey Mysterio The "Stone Cold" Steve Austin has been called into the ring as Rey Mysterio comes out. He comes out and the bell rings, Triple H and Mysterio go to the ring. Rey Mysterio gets into the ring, but he's surrounded by Undertaker, Triple H, Austin and the announcers. The announcers give us the crowd chants, Triple H says that the "King" has a thing for "the Big Boss" and he wants to beat him and leave him out of the ring for two weeks. Rey Mysterio gets out quickly and is surrounded by the wrestlers; all the crowd chants "Undertaker! Undertaker! Undertaker!" John Cena comes out and yells "What the hell is this!" To which the announcer replies "It's a commercial for The Coca-Cola Company." "What the poo poo is that all about?
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Aug 21, 2019 03:50
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Spongebob and Mark Hamill lay naked in bed. Mark was sobbing. Spongebob cried out, "Stop that! It looks real bad!" Spongebob yelled back that Mark might have had an accident while on the toilet, and he was just laying there. Then the camera fell out of the camera and splattered all over the floor, hitting each of Mark and Spongebob in the face. Then Spongebob fell off of a bathtub and got into the tub. Mark saw Spongebob in the tub, and screamed and splashed against his face, and then he heard the sound of his pants being ripped off, and then it was Spongebob in the tub splashing in the water. That was when Spongebob splatted him. Mark and Spongebob went to the bathroom and Mark yelled that it was not Spongebob in the tub; then Spongebob splatted him again. Then he started in and got in. He splatted Mark again. Then Mark started to cry and Spongebob spattered his face and then he was in the bathtub. Then Spongebob took the camera and it still had dirty pictures of Mark and Spongebob. The bathtub was filled with blood. So Spongebob got up, walked over to the toilet, and wiped with the towel which was left over and was soaked through. Then he walked back into the tub. When he stepped out the door, he saw them sitting there. "Hey," Spongebob said. Spongebob went to Mark, who was also sitting in the tub, and Spongebob put some water to the wounds on Mark's chest and head by putting some lukewarm water on the wounds. "Hey Spongebob," Mark said, "You're the first in a long time that I've seen you still in your swimsuit," Mark said. Spongebob said, "Yeah man, I've been in my swimsuit since March 29, and you weren't until September 9." So Mark got out the swimsuit that he'd been wearing that whole time. Spongebob helped Mark wrap and stitch his body, and then he went upstairs to Mark's bedroom, and he pondered about Hamill's extreme fetishes. Now Squarepants has been on a roll lately, recently posting a whole collection of pictures of himself taking bath salts under the guise of a "sketch" for his website "Squarepants.com." "I'm a sketch comic artist, so I draw weird and wonderful things," he explained, though he claimed that he wasn't always planning to go so far as to draw Hamill having "anorexia porn" or to depict Hamill performing sexual acts with his pet snake. "But [Hamill] was one of my earliest comics inspirations and I wanted to draw that in a very artistic, strange way," he said. "He always just wanted to be naked and have sex with himself and that's when I thought 'Oh my God, I've got to include [Heath Ledger's] face,'" he told HuffPost. "That's when there was this massive rush of blood to my eyes and [I thought] 'Here's a great opportunity to get an autograph, a big picture autograph, a picture with Heath.'" Spongebob wanted Mark to go up a size in buttplugs, which was the idea of Mr. Krabs. In "Mr. Krabs' Fancy New World!" Spongebob and Patrick get into a long argument about the shape of their butt cheeks. Spongebob asks Patrick if he wants to look at the butt of his sister and he doesn't even think twice saying yes. Spongebob and Patrick are still fighting over how large Spongebob gets in buttplugs. Spongebob does have to pull back his butt to get under it in order to get to his tail. In "Pizza Delivery" Squidward and Patrick finally talk about how large Spongebob is in buttplugs and that he could be mistaken for Mr. Krabs. They both agree to get an increase in size in the future. In "Rough Night," Patrick and Squidward have their first competition about who can get the most, but Spongebob can only fit through its mouth. Squidward is the only one that has no choice but to increase in size. Patrick gets a couple of plugs, and invites Mark Hamill to Spongebob's kink dungeon. They agree with him, so the scene shows Spongebob getting the lube out of the bottle so it can lube up Mark with a dildo. Spongebob then goes into an office and tells the staff to give it a try. After a few more minutes, Mark has already lubed so he sits down, pulls down Spongebob's pants, and starts stroking him. It doesn't seem to be taking as long as it did during the scene at Krabby Patties. After a couple more minutes of teasing and caressing, Mark begins to climax. When he does, he falls over, and says, "Oh! That's right!" before jumping back up and saying "That's right what?" before standing up and saying "That's right it is!" The next day, Spongebob and Mark are eating lunch on the couch together when Squidward jumps in and tells Mark that his date will be arriving in three days. Once it is time to go, Squidward asks what he thinks of Mark. Mark is shocked and confused but Spongebob tries to calm Hamill down with a big sloppy kiss that sends the young star to sleep for a few hours. As he recovers from his surprise nap, he gets home and quickly takes out the trash and starts unplugging his TV. While Hamill is lying there in the bathroom, another guest comes in and begins to make some noise about Spongebob and it's "too dark" so Spongebob gets up, opens his trash can and heads out into the streets to "get away from it." As Spongebob moves into the daytime, the guest moves into one of the nearby houses; Spongebob is so excited to be out in the sunshine and the neighborhood kids are so busy helping themselves to food (some to save for later) that they leave him to get lost in the grass for a bit until one of them decides to find and tell Spongebob what he has been doing. Soon, a boy with a camera spots Spongebob, gives him a hug, then lets him know that he knows a good place to get pizza. Suddenly, Hamill jumps out of bed and runs out to retrieve his torn up swimsuit. Mark spots Spongebob eating pizza, a couple of blocks away. Spongebob sees him sitting at a table, a cup of coffee in his hand. He gives him a "sorry..." and sits down next to him. Spongebob tells him "I'm sorry. You just seemed so weird, I couldn't even...I dunno..." Spongebob gets up and runs to the table, picking up the bag as they talk. Spongebob asks if he'd like any coffee or soda, and Squidward starts making a toast on a stick. Squidward begins taking a large bite out of the toast, while Spongebob just eats from the cup. Spongebob finally manages to get a piece of toast in his mouth without sucking up the whole toast. He then asks Squidward if there's anything with a little bit of cream. Squidward says he has a peanut butter cup. Spongebob says "Cool. I will get one." Squidward says this is an excellent idea since there's no cream in his peanut butter cup. Mark apologizes and says there's cream for both Spongebob's and Squidwards peanut butter cups. Spongebob comes in at last and gets dressed, and SpongeBob says he's a "hustler." He starts on his way to the car. Spongebob and Squidward have stopped at the car wash to go to a store. Spongebob says to himself, "I hate this job." At the store, Spongebob tries to get sponge towels. At home, in Spongebob's dream, he is at the gas station and he looks for a new tire to put on his bicycle. As he runs, Spongebob passes a gas station clerk who is very annoyed. Spongebob tries to hide behind a store display case until the clerk sees him. Spongebob runs through the store and hits on a clerk who turns out to be a girl. She is quite turned on in her shop by the sight of his large erection. He then gives her a $3.00 tip to keep her from telling anyone about his enormous erection. He tries to pull on it, but sees Mark Hamil''s gaze fixated on the Squarepant's schlong. "Mark, I don''t want to have this conversation. I want to...go away." Mark is silent and he has the same expression on his face, as if he was staring at the wall with his eyes. "Okay, I'll go then, we can talk about that later, okay? And if my wife comes back, she shouldn''t say anything bad about me again." Mark nods as he leaves the corner of the square. "Mark?" "Hmm, what's up?" "It''s all the same as it always is." Mark shakes his head as if to say something but then continues on his way without another word. After a while he takes a deep breath, opens his eyes and looks behind him. He sees that the room is in complete darkness and that he is lost. In his last waking thought, Mark notices that everything in the squarepant has stopped, just like it was the last time he slept in that squarepant when he had
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Aug 21, 2019 04:36
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Florida Man Is Charged With 3 Felonies For Raping Wife's Cow This woman was viciously assaulted at the hands of a neighbor in the first place while she was in distress. She had a serious injury to her face, which caused her to seek medical care from the emergency room, then go home to get more pain medication. When she came home after getting treatment, she noticed that her husband had cut down the grass, and also her cow. Then he attacked her in the woods with his knife and cut her face so badly that it needed stitches. The neighbor then got so mad that he beat her in the face with the knife and dragged her into a nearby river, where she was attacked again by her neighbor. He dragged her across the river, where he again attacked her with his knifes from the river below. Unfortunately, the cow that this neighbor beat to death was her cow that was the victim of domestic violence. As the story explains, her owner's abusive behavior and the resulting injuries are what led to this crime. So why is it a felony assault if it's not willful? As a result of her injuries, the neighbor was charged with domestic violence.
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Aug 21, 2019 05:09
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Kids, theres nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like, but if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, thats no good. Its your body, no one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. So what do you do? First, you try to walk away, but its not a good choice...because after all, you're only two legs away from the touch zone. The only way to avoid this, is to walk a bit away with the other leg. This is just like trying to play a game where you don't even take the field, because you think the other team could steal your position. The only other option is to fight back, and try to walk further away, because at this point, the "touch zone" is still on the sideline so you would only be touching something that is more dangerous to them, just as your legs are touching the floor or any other part of the stadium. But that is a bad choice, because you have no control or knowledge of where they are really putting their hands.
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Aug 21, 2019 05:31
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If you catch on fire, you need to stop, drop, and take a breath. 2) Have a place to go when you are burned out There are ways to stop yourself from getting out in the cold. 1) Don't get in someone else's car if you're in an emergency (it's bad). 2) I hate to say it, but it is better that you have a place to go if you get burned out, and to use when you get out. 3) Make your own fire. In case you don't get that, I wrote a post about using candle. And you can find it here . I know it won't do that much for you, and you'll probably need a fire extinguisher, but it's a good way to take control of yourself. When you're out in cold to burn out, it is really important that you go as far as possible without getting wet or warm, if you can. Remember that you have wet clothes, and you don't have all your clothes on; you might be able to run out into the freezing cold. Also If you catch on fire, you need to stop, drop, and recover, or the fire will get worse. I had tried to be a little more patient the first two times before getting caught in the fire on my way out. Unfortunately when you have a hot and/or angry dog (or other animal), the amount of time it takes to stop to put out the fire is more time than you'll ever get. If the dog is still out burning and can't be brought out in a few minutes, it's probably time to return and finish the job. You may want to put out the fire while the dog is resting, as the fire will get worse if the dog starts smoking. If you don't need to put the dog out, simply don't leave the house and walk the dog. If you catch on fire, you need to stop, drop, and take a few seconds and get out of there. The reason we do this is because we can't catch the fire from afar if the smoke is dense. If you don't do this, you might get burned yourself or you may lose control of the fire. You are also increasing the risk of a house fire, if at all possible. A little research was also done to see what would happen if you were to stand right near each other in a big group setting. They found that you would end up catching it on fire at about 80-85% of the time. Of course it varies from person to person, but the average I have found is about 70% or more. Don't say I didn't warn you! If you do catch a fire right next to each other, don't wait - grab the person that burned. In about an hour if you really wanted to, you might be able to pull someone out, but even then it might be a couple of days before they are able to get back into work. This is because
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Aug 21, 2019 05:59
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Simpsons plot summary: Homer has to tell his neighbor to leave the neighborhood because of an anti-Semitic rumor. "The Hokey Pokey," on ABC: The town where Springfield is set, is full of the sort of anti-Semitic stereotypes that would make the Nazis of World War II envious. The inhabitants want to kick out its last Jews. "The Simpsons" episode synopsis: Bart loses his job (he makes it into the TV show, but he still struggles in the business) and moves to Homer's hometown (where Moe is the mayor). He meets up with his old classmate, Bart, who has an anti-Semitic stereotype. "The Simpsons," the show, is the brainchild of former ABC execs Gene Weingarten and David Silverman, both Jewish, who were inspired by "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" (1946) and "The Maltese Falcon" (1941).
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Aug 21, 2019 06:13
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Kennel posted:https://openai.com/blog/gpt-2-6-month-follow-up/ Ruffian Price posted:Holy poo poo, Talk to Transformer was updated almost instantly! It's looking good. @TheRealDonaldTrump (@realDonaldTrump) July 29, 2015 At a news conference in West Palm Beach, Trump suggested Hillary Clinton was "probably" a lesbian. "I think she was trying to be pregnant from it," he said, according to a local report. "I just thought at the time — if she had been pregnant, you wouldn't be saying this … But I just figured she was probably trying to get it on the way out." "She was wearing heels and this really low cut, really big, red dress," said Trump. "And I looked and I thought, she's got 'pregnancy' written all over her. I thought, what a beautiful thing to do, right?" After Trump called Clinton a lesbian, she took to Twitter to denounce Trump's comments. "He makes so many outrageous and ignorant statements and I would hope he would focus more on making America great again," Clinton tweeted today. "He doesn't have a clue."
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Aug 21, 2019 10:38
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Kool-Aid Conglomerated apologized today for what it calls an 'unfortunate coincidence' regarding its 40th Anniversary Jonestown Kool-Aid packs. The company said it was taken aback by the popularity of the Jonestown Kool-Aid with hundreds of thousands of people seeking more than 600 servings, a request which prompted a 'thorough investigation' to 'determine who sold the most.' So, who sold the most? The answer depends on who purchased it. According to a company representative, Jonestown Kool-Aid was first offered for sale by the group's leader, Jim Jones in 1974. However, the representative said the sale went out via Jonestown's radio station, Kool-Aid, and the first sale included 1,000 cans of the soda. The representative also stated that since then, Jonestown Kool-Aid has gone out as a 'junk food' at various Kool-Aid stores around the world. 'Some Jonestown families purchased large amounts of Jonestown Kool
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Aug 21, 2019 14:04
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Solar panels, but for dogs ," added Karsan. If this turns out to be a success, the scientists will have created the world's most efficient solar panel, with an efficiency of more than 10. To achieve this, the team's researchers took one part of the solar membrane from a common type of silicon solar cell made by Samsung and used it to create two more layers of solar cells. This enabled them to create a device that could harvest sunlight without any external processing and then convert the energy generated to electricity. The team then tested their solar panel on a sheep and found that it could generate enough energy to run a dog's life for three days. And a dog's lifetime of four days may not be considered excessive by some scientists, although Karsan admits that his dog is still in his early stages of development. However, he believes that such energy harvesting technology is possible for all animals. He told the BBC: "When you grow humans, you grow sheep and cattle. All these animals can be used as a starting point for
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Aug 21, 2019 14:26
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"... and after all, nothing generates photovoltaic potential more quickly than a dog," finished Karsan. He then added, "This was all the motivation I needed: it was time to turn the idea into a working model: the solar-powered dog. It can keep us warm, and help with our insulation needs, all without needing to be fed, as the dog is always outside in the middle of the day." The dog is made from nylon fabric, which is used to make lightweight and compact clothing. Its design is also designed to be easily adaptable, adding insulation to areas of a house on both sides, as well as to areas where power could otherwise be lost. To test the solar-powered dog model, Karsan and his team at Karsan Labs had to design a solar-electric dog with a heat-producing heat exchanger and insulation. In the beginning, the two researchers had to design a dog model using an internal combustion engine instead, as the efficiency of this type of vehicle would be much lower. With the help of one of Karsan Labs' alumni in the design field, the team created the design for the dog
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Aug 21, 2019 14:41
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With the help of one of Karsan Labs' alumni in the design field, the team created the design for the dog collar for the dog. By placing two separate buttons on the dog collar, this creates an external switch to which the dog can attach the collar wirelessly. This design allows the dog to have two separate "states" to carry out his commands simultaneously. This is one of the most important features of the ROKD. In addition to the button, the collar has a retractable collar pad which is designed to slide onto the dog's head when it needs a quick check. The collar pads allow the user to feel and adjust the comfort level of the ROKD. This comfort level also contributes to the collar being more comfortable and less likely to fall out.
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Aug 21, 2019 14:49
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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, Feel Good City's breaking down on a camel's back They just have to go 'cause they don't know whack (What, whack) They just gotta go 'cause they don't know whack (What, whack) They just gotta go 'cause they don't know whack (Whack Whack Whack Whack) (Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack) (Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack Whack) Hey man, the real world never looked so good I wanna see what you're about to see This town ain't got time for poo poo I can hear the music that I want to hear But I'm a man, I'm a man, let me hear you say The whole town's a crowd of trouble What's that you say? That's what the crowd's
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Aug 21, 2019 14:58
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 That's the thing about a lot of fantasy. All these men gawking at each others' longswords.
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Aug 21, 2019 15:09
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The ROKD, or Renewable Organism Karsan Dog, is scheduled to start wide-scale manufacture on Sept. 16 near the town of ROKD in south-central North Korea. The small but dedicated-organization in southern North Korea, headed by a former North Korean defector, started working on the first Korean-made plastic drone as a way to raise funds for its cause. The money is supposed to be used for the ROKD's equipment and supplies for its five-person ROKD-SZK program, and possibly a bigger project to make a drone for international use, a company spokeswoman said. After spending around 30,000 won ($29.25), North Koreans are supposed to have their first plastic drone, dubbed "Furby," in their hands in a few weeks. In April, North Korea launched a miniaturized mini-UAV called a Rokh in a bid to catch a glimpse of United States military activity. The unmanned aircraft traveled only 1.1 km before crashing, forcing the North to issue a warning.
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Aug 21, 2019 15:11
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Mozi posted:Kool-Aid Conglomerated apologized today for what it calls an 'unfortunate coincidence' regarding its 40th Anniversary Jonestown Kool-Aid packs. The company said it was taken aback by the popularity of the Jonestown Kool-Aid with hundreds of thousands of people seeking more than 600 servings, a request which prompted a 'thorough investigation' to 'determine who sold the most.' Jonestown used Flavor Aid not Kool Aid  I've always imagined that the Flavor Aid company's marketing division had a cursed monkey's paw that curled a finger shut the day that happened and the news misidentified it as Kool Aid
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Aug 21, 2019 15:14
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Dog 2.0 is the next version of the popular animal type Dog. It features better animation quality, better physics and improved performance - not to mention, some new features: The dog is much smarter than the previous version and doesn't attack you anymore, but they are still fast and can chase you through your bedroom! The dogs are now based on the Ayanami - a character from the animated television show. There are 3 dog levels to play in the sequel, so you can see your dog grow to adult size and become the dominant Dog. The Game (In order) You start off as a small dog. They are afraid of people and will not attack you unless provoked. The levels you're on in Dog are randomly set each time you play with you dog, and each level has different objects you need to collect for the higher levels. The Dog Race is a racing challenge where the higher you get, the faster you can go. e: It was hard to get it to spit out something that wasn't just a videogame called Dog but I finally got it to: Dog 2.0 is the next iteration of man's best friend, Dog. It features a redesigned skeletal structure, new hugging tentacles, iced-over skin, and more. "Dogs are among humanity's most treasured, loyal companions. We've heard of humans who have taken to staying together for life, even after the loss of a child. It's a testament to what the canine brain can do when it puts out a call for companionship. It may not be possible to build true companions, but dog-shaped robots will! Dogs are truly the ultimate in companion technology. They are smart like us, they know how to help, they understand how to make friends, and they love to please." - J.P. Morgan, Executive Vice President and Group Managing Director of J.P. Morgan Chase & Company Dog 2.0's first update features new hugs and more. The full update arrives shortly after Dog 2.0's release from the Dog's own hands, bringing a few upgrades to existing features and tweaks to others. Shame Boy fucked around with this message at 15:22 on Aug 21, 2019 |
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Aug 21, 2019 15:18
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Follow the wacky hi-jinks of Chuck and his family at 7/6 central on Friday, August 23rd for the series premier of the Manson Family! Meet Charlie himself and his gang, "The Family". This is an adult show with very mature themes, characters and content. Pricing and other details will be announced at a later date. The Manson Family - Charlie, The Girlfriend (with boyfriend Johnny) - Friday, August 23rd 7:00 PM - 7:00 PM - 9:30 PM The Manson Family - Johnny (with girlfriend) - Friday, August 23rd 7:00 PM - 7:00 PM - 9:30 PM Charlie's family will be back to give us the best family dinner to date, "The Family Diner", this Tuesday, September 10th, 2017 at the Rialto Theatre! Join us for a spectacular dinner featuring the Manson Family, Johnny and The Girlfriend, plus special guests and live music. The "Diner", Wednesday, September 12th 6:30 PM - Follow the wacky hi-jinks of Chuck and his family at 7/6 central on Friday, August 23rd for the series premier of the Manson Family! Only on NBC. The next installment follows the antics of Chuck as he and his family go on their annual summer vacation to the country. He meets some of his old friends that have moved on with their lives and the others in the family start to make out. But not too happily since Chuck and his new friends have been invited into their 'family' as Chuck's mother and his new sister. But even more than that, there's tension in their homes as it's obvious that the newlyweds don't exactly feel right as they live with the rest of the family. Will they get through it and can they find some happiness in life? This comedy/action series follows the lives of the Manson Family and their bizarre exploits! Follow the adventures of Family Man, Manson Family, and Family Family! For only $4.99 a month, get access to a whole season! 
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Aug 21, 2019 15:20
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Minus Green posted:I actually tried to click the video It hasn't been created yet.
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Aug 21, 2019 15:25
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Ok one more dog upgrade: Dog 2.0 is the next iteration of man's best friend, Dog. It features a redesigned skeletal structure, new hugging tentacles, ersatz eyes, and the ability to swallow and digest food. Its skeletal structure has been updated with more organic characteristics, and a completely new, more humanoid shape. In addition, Dog's ability to transform into a homing "Dirty Dog" has been streamlined and it can now turn into a homing "Bastard". Although dogs may be stereotyped as aggressive or threatening, they are actually very helpful when you know what to do. They are a great pet for humans in most situations. You shouldn't be afraid to pet them, cuddle them, pet them while they are playing, and even hold them when you need to calm them down. There is no point in having a cat who is not in a calm state of mind when you have dogs; it's just not smart to keep one as company.
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Aug 21, 2019 15:25
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Umm.... quote:
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Aug 21, 2019 15:30
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