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My cat will sit in the middle of the hallway and will attack you if you trip over him. It’s just like, stop standing there, dumbass. He’s been doing that for years, as if he’d learn anything ever.
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Aug 10, 2019 20:46
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 13:26 |
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I fuckin hate it when my cat does that! I’m like “MoMo, YOU HAVE NIGHTVISION! I can’t even see well with the lights on!” and he is all like “Mow” and swats me.
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Aug 11, 2019 01:28
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Laslow posted:My cat will sit in the middle of the hallway and will attack you if you trip over him. It’s just like, stop standing there, dumbass. He’s been doing that for years, as if he’d learn anything ever. Meanwhile - after I bumped into my dog in the hallway a few times on the way to bed, he's shifted so he hurries down the hall and into a sideroom and waits until I'm through before he comes back out. Smart boy. 
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Aug 11, 2019 01:42
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 Beric you adorable absolute buffoon! Why do you scoop out food ONE PIECE at a time???? It’s leaving crumbs on the floor and I have to sweep every few hours to avoid ants buddy! Your brother doesn’t do this at all!  Allister you beautiful butt munch, please stop getting under my feet when I’m trying to walk, my ankle is bad enough without you making me stumble all the time!
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Aug 16, 2019 21:31
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 Bear, learn to loving bury your business in the litter box. You make your puddles stick to the sides of the box and go all the way to the bottom, never drying into a scoopable clump. You’re the feline equivalent of a dude that leaves the toilet seat up. teh winnar! fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Aug 20, 2019 |
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Aug 20, 2019 22:39
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 Katya, you dumb bitch. Every time you eat a slug you spend 5 to 10 minutes unhappily cleaning your slime-covered face without letting me help, AND YET you keep eating them. The internet told me slugs can contain parasites or could even be poisoned but ""not to worry! most cats only eat one once and discover it's not a pleasant experience", lmao not this dumdum. pls stop, it's disgusting.
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Aug 26, 2019 21:45
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InvisibleMonkey posted:Katya, you dumb bitch. Every time you eat a slug you spend 5 to 10 minutes unhappily cleaning your slime-covered face without letting me help, AND YET you keep eating them. Reminds me of an extraordinarily dim pit bull I lived with. She had an anti-shake toy that was some kind of contraption where she'd bite on the middle, and if she shook her head, two spring-loaded balls would smack her upside the head. So she'd pick it up, and she'd shake it...until she knocked herself unconscious. And then she came to, grabbed the drat thing, and promptly knocked herself out again. We figured that was enough of that toy and it got handed down to a less stupid dog.
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Aug 27, 2019 01:25
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NO gently caress YOU I DO WHAT I WA- *thud*
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Aug 27, 2019 01:32
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Aphra, you goddamn little gremlin baby, it's 4 in the morning and you are zooming around my room knocking poo poo off of other poo poo and attacking my hands because you want to play. Let me sleep just a bit longer and I promise I will play with you. Fucker. You're lucky you're so cute. 
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Aug 27, 2019 09:22
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Y’all got some warm looking pets.
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Aug 29, 2019 01:33
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Handen posted:Y’all got some warm looking pets. Kill it with fire
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Aug 29, 2019 01:43
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iospace posted:Kill it with fire This isn’t cool to say about someone’s friends.
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Aug 29, 2019 01:46
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This is my girlfriends's cat Morris. His hobbies include taking up my Entire Goddamn Kitchen Counter and sitting in the empty dining room meowing for no reason. And this is my sweet baby Hendricks that has a bad habit of trying to drink out of my water glass and knocking it over even though he has three water bowls throughout the house. 
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Sep 10, 2019 16:36
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I panic a little every time I hear a cup sliding on a table and it's all your fault Mittens.
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Sep 16, 2019 18:59
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Dirt Road Junglist posted:Reminds me of an extraordinarily dim pit bull I lived with. She had an anti-shake toy that was some kind of contraption where she'd bite on the middle, and if she shook her head, two spring-loaded balls would smack her upside the head. This visual belongs in the blessed thread because I can't stop laughing at it.
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Sep 18, 2019 04:02
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LUNA: i am the dark avatar of sadness and gloom ALETA: And I'm Aleta hi!!!!!!! LUNA: death is imminent ALETA: Luna kicks litter around for twenty minutes after she does a poo, and I freak out and come running to watch every time!!!!! LUNA: entropy ALETA: I do it to the pink Food Giant! She gets mad cuz I do my damnedest to make it impossible for her to wipe! LUNA: crawling in my fur ALETA: oh, and I ate like soooo much yarn this week. LUNA: my butt, too fat to lick ALETA: *stare* LUNA: *stare* ALETA: Brrp? LUNA: I will loving end you with one look, you little pissant. ALETA: MOOOOOOMMMMMM THE CLOCK: 5 AM FLETA: No.
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Sep 19, 2019 22:15
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:LUNA: i am the dark avatar of sadness and gloom Pics needed of these two.
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Sep 20, 2019 10:23
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zakharov posted:Pics needed of these two. Luna Ghost is actually the collective ghost of multiple cats. Canonically, Aleta speaks more or less like Peppa Pig. Luna Ghost LIKES: Licking own leg DISLIKES: Everything else TURN-ONS: Eviscerating Styrofoam TURN-OFFS: Any kind of physical contact   (please excuse litter crumbs on cat mat)  ennui Aleta is a crazy person. Aleta Gatita Guapita LIKES: AASDJASKJFDSDFGSAJFH DISLIKES: when Dad comes home first TURN-ONS: Being able to carry something in one's mouth without dropping it and forgetting what was happening OH LOOK A TINY SCRAP OF PAPER TURN-OFFS: When I see the Food Giants through the weird solid see-through thing.    They have recently learned to coexist!  e: she ate half of that loving basket, had to buy a new one. Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Sep 22, 2019 |
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Sep 22, 2019 02:13
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Harriet, I know you like to meet new people bunny. However, tearing off part of the brand new fence so you can climb into our neighbour's yard to eat their garden is not the best way to do it.
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Sep 22, 2019 21:08
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bunnyofdoom posted:Harriet, I know you like to meet new people bunny. However, tearing off part of the brand new fence so you can climb into our neighbour's yard to eat their garden is not the best way to do it. Someone's garden today, someone's achilles tendon tomorrow.
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Sep 24, 2019 21:17
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Ayla, you loud poo poo, just cause you tricked me into feeding you early yesterday morning is not an open invitation to start yelling 30 minutes before my alarm today, so guess who is not getting sleep in the bedroom tonight (hint its you). Your bowl was full too but of COURSE, you wanted it in the OTHER bowl. You are lucky you are so cute.
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Sep 27, 2019 11:20
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 Sumi You poo poo Hold still when I try to take pictures of you. This took like six tries gently caress you
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Sep 27, 2019 12:01
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Tarkus, Anderson, Jade, you tricksy doggses! I fed you your breakfast at 6 am, and went back to bed. Momma got up at 7 and you didn’t tell her pops had already fed you. Second breakfast?! What’s next, elevensies?! Mid-afternoon tea?!
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Sep 27, 2019 13:48
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 Family lives near by, so I get to visit the cats and this golden boy whenever I want. Tate is a complete shithead, though, and despite being cute will spend hours begging and getting in your face to throw a frisbee despite being outside for literally an hour just minutes before.
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Oct 18, 2019 15:09
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Trogz posted:Tate is a complete shithead, though, and despite being cute will spend hours begging and getting in your face to throw a frisbee despite being outside for literally an hour just minutes before. Diagnosis: is a golden retriever.
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Oct 18, 2019 17:28
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Cythereal posted:Diagnosis: is a golden retriever. 
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Oct 18, 2019 18:55
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Cythereal posted:Diagnosis: is a golden retriever. And the condition is permanent 
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Oct 18, 2019 21:20
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Throw the frisbee
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Oct 18, 2019 21:52
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Throw the frisbee That's how it always ends up going. It's hard to say no for too long.
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Oct 18, 2019 21:56
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Wanna pet that dog 
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Oct 19, 2019 01:10
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Cythereal posted:Diagnosis: is a golden retriever.
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Oct 21, 2019 07:48
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Meet my stinky lap gremlin: Wojo of House Catte, first of her name, Destroyer of Houseplants and Ripper of Farts Most Heinous Wojo lived as a barncat for her first nine months before I adopted her, that plus being one of the smaller in her litter she's a tiny smol cat, maybe 5lbs. She's a very mellow, affectionate girl and is mostly a good cat. However, she has two habits which irritate me. She has a vendetta against my houseplants, one in particular which she excavated three times. I put them up on higher shelves but that didn't entirely deter her. I bought some plastic mesh and pea gravel and covered the base of the plants, that did not deter her. The third time she dug up the plant it was pretty shredded, so I took some cuttings and put them in a bowl of water hoping they'd root and propagate and I could replant them. Of course the little fucker jumped four feet onto the shelf and proceeded to fish the plant cuttings out of the bowl, toss them on the carpet, and play with them. Stop attacking the houseplants you rear end in a top hat.  Second, she rips nasty farts when she's snuggled in my lap. They're silent, but oh boy are they deadly. Thankfully she's a tiny cat and there's not much volume of rear end gas so it doesn't linger very long, but it's really unpleasant when I'm watching TV and then suddenly gagging on feline flatulence.  That is my slipper, give it back. You are a cat, it doesn't even fit.
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Oct 31, 2019 16:48
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 This is Inex. She will run into my room where Toff lives when Toff is doing a poop or a piss and hiss and growl at her, and pretty much only then. I don't know what's up with the loving freak. (this is Toff)  Edit: also Inex licks our cabinet doors and Toff licks my sheets. Freak girls.
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Nov 1, 2019 18:30
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hey Widget thanks for shredding approximately 75% of my shower curtain
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Nov 3, 2019 22:35
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AGGGGH BEES posted:hey Widget thanks for shredding approximately 75% of my shower curtain Post the offender.
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Nov 3, 2019 22:44
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I'm Noah and a few weeks ago I ate a bunch of dental floss out of the garbage like a complete loving idiot. No big deal for me since it was my owner who had to scour through my crap for a week to make sure it passed.
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Nov 4, 2019 22:01
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my idiot gremlin discovered how to hop from the toilet onto the bathroom countertop so she promptly destroyed and/or threw to the ground all my toiletries thanks cat, I appreciate you batting my toothbrush and contact case around the bathroom floor that's not gross at all
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Nov 5, 2019 20:47
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Pellisworth posted:Meet my stinky lap gremlin: My cat was ripping some horrible farts when I had him eating Wellness Core, but then he decided he only wanted to eat the Friskies that my godmother would sneak him when she came over at night to feed the barn cats. He's now fart free and it's easier on my wallet, so I guess that's a win?
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Nov 6, 2019 08:16
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 It’s me, Baxter! I’m a dirty little shitrat. All my best friends call me Poopstah, because I poop when I’m scared... or confused... or tired. And even though you, my beloved Uncle Bust Rodd, live in a completely different room and bed than my mommy and daddy, your bed is the only bed worth making GBS threads in during a thunderstorm... or during a particularly loud dump truck driving through the neighborhood... or even if the cat boops my little nose and spooks me! Oh and please don’t be alarmed if I work my way into your bed in the middle of the night and shake like a goddam epileptic when you’re trying to sleep, I AM TERRIFIED of the refrigerator kicking on and so on and I quake so violently you fear I may injure myself but fear not, I am merely horrified beyond belief of all sounds and objects, and must simply poop my way to safety.
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Nov 6, 2019 14:37
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Inex you dumb gently caress, the reason you're not allowed in Gunnhild's room is because you keep pissing in her bed. Out of all the places you could do a Crime Piss, it's never my bed or the sofa or anything like that, and by all means I am grateful, but why have you chosen G's bed as your sole, soggy pee target? I know the window above her bed is part of your daily patrol, but act like a pissbaby and get treated like one and FOR GODS SAKE STOP SCREAMING AT HER DOOR rear end in a top hat.
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Nov 6, 2019 14:57
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