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Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
lyrics to the WWF Raw is War theme song from 1999:

Macho Man: What do you want, huh? Let me guess, you want a big ol' gun?

Stone Cold: Uh, not a lot, Mr. Macho Man.

Macho Man: Yeah, well, maybe one less bullet.

The two exchange a few blows. Macho Man starts to turn his back, but Stone Cold grabs his forearm and drags him along. Stone Cold is soon after getting a shot in on Macho Man, but it's not enough to get Macho Man down, as Macho Man has a large "Macho Man" written above his head.


Vince McMahon and Stone Cold welcome the crowd from the ramp, then cut to Stephanie McMahon holding a bottle of vodka (as if she's still getting ready to go to the ring). After the commercial break, Vince McMahon introduces El Generico and Stephanie, and that was it. After the commercial break, El Generico puts his hand on his face, to which Stephanie turns on him.

She begins to hit him

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Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





It's my life in a box and charred to beat
Taking
 it out in an hour and a half was not easy.
My stomach and my face were covered in hot gas.
Misha and I were in the same car as that.
Just about everyone in the car was in a bad condition.
The driver was unconscious, the cop was badly burned, the passenger was also burned badly.
"Misha, you just have to do it."
Just because I was going, doesn't mean I was going to do it.
"This car's too dangerous! It'll hit any cars along the road!!"
So we didn't think much about it. I wanted to live, but I also didn't want to let Misha die, so I did what I could.
But my legs were not up to it now.
The whole car was burning badly. Even Misha's pants were on fire. My face was burning too.
Even though her legs were still on fire, she was still breathing.
That was bad. It's one thing to be killed in a car accident. But to



idk what I expected. Let's do a Punk.

I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that. They're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me. And the fact that  that makes me the sole arbiter of what's real in the ring. And the fact that Vince and I are each other's personal arbiter. That means I get to take the "official" record in every match and tell you, as best as I can, how it happened. No one else gets to do that on TV. And the only person who gets to do that in real life is Vince McMahon and that means that we have our opinions and that they have to be our opinions for this show, which is the only reason a certain number of fans show up to watch my matches. 
I've seen wrestlers say things I've never heard before. I've been told to quit a lot of times. I've seen things I've been told not to say. I've been told to go back home and be a good sport because I do whatever people say. And I'm happy to go back home and play good sport. But they

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Or do you, Hulk Hogan, kick the doors out? Kick the cockpit door down. Take the two pilots that have already made the sacrifice so that you can face the challenge. Dispose of them, Hulk Hogan. Assume the controls, Hulk Hogan! It seems a shame it's taken you this long to get on the train. You have the perfect train station on the moon to take you home. You can't miss this train line. Just take the left-hand entrance and head for it. No more standing in the cold for hours before leaving on a train. No more time to stare down at all those stars. Nothing to see but stars. No further explanation needed. Well, what if you don't like going to the station all by yourself? Well, one other way... How about this: Instead of being alone, why not be with a friend? For some people being alone is a necessary evil, but... for the rest of us, it's just not worth it. You're thinking, "What a nice idea! I'll just jump!"

***

Oh sorry, it seems to have just spat out a typical Ultimate Warrior promo.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

The Dudley Boys stole Christian & Chris Jericho's bags when they were a tag team and they were left to walk around with towels. With Christian complaining about shrinkage (down there, of course), the Dudleys opened up their bags to reveal a jar of rear end Cream. When they opened the rear end Cream, it did nothing more than soak all the mud from their clothes. The Dudley Boyz then opened the bag and found some extra rear end Cream, and a pair of socks. The Dudley Boyz then opened the suitcase and found a new sweater. They put the sweater on and continued walking.
Christians headband.
The Undertaker, Kane, and JBL came by to watch the Dudley Boyz.
The Dudley Boy's got his new sweater. They then said they liked the rear end Cream.
JBL asks why you're wearing sweater, to which Undertaker responds, "Because it's warm."
They went through different scenarios, and ended with Undertaker holding the sweater up and saying that the sweater was the only thing keeping him warm that summer.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Huh, the Greater Power storyline is different from what I remember...

During the Raw Is War held on June 7th, 1999, Vince McMahon revealed himself as the "Greater Power" which had been controlling a group of wrestlers against "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. During the reveal, McMahon yells "It's me, Austin!" and says "The Greater Power has arrived!" He was then shown holding an enormous weapon with two big blades. This was also the name of a mysterious entity that was revealed during a segment of the show; he told Austin that it was "The Demon."

The Powers, led by "Stone Cold's" "greatest power," are then shown battling a large army of demonic opponents. During a battle around a circular arena, they appear to be holding a big steel sword, which is wielded in a way resembling a hammer.

The main body of the Powers begins to turn into a dark, demonic appearance when Vince says "The Power is gone..." and then the entire group turns into a large tentacle monster, then a tentacle monster moves in the foreground and a red circle, like the symbol of their group, and the

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Jerusalem posted:

Oh sorry, it seems to have just spat out a typical Ultimate Warrior promo.
Warrior promos seem like they could make for good seeds:

Aah, You are nothing but a normal, you don't deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do. Hulk Hogan, I must ask you now as you asked me, do you Hulk Hogan want your ideas, your beliefs to live forever? For Hulk Hogan in this normal world, his family, friends and teammates have always admired him and respected him, for Hulk Hogan in that world, his friends and teammates may not know that the Hulk Hogan of that world cares about women.

Hulk Hogan, you cannot do that. You don't have the right to change the world by giving us bad ideas? You think that is cool, but you have no right, no respect at all. Your world views must be destroyed. You, Hogan are nothing more than an arrogant and self righteous, bully who is not worthy of being treated as an equal by anyone, as Hulkers have never been treated as equals. Hulkers, get ready Hulk. It's time for that world of yours to be burned down. There will be no more ideas, you will be no more the person you once were. All Hulkers,

***

I can smell it... it is in the air... the cosmic powers of Mars... the clouds of Jupiter... the rings of Saturn... the boiling heat of Mercury. Something's gonna happen, Warriors. I can feel it. Warriors, I believe now you have heard that something happened on the day of the moon's eclipse. It was on a cloudy evening, during a week of complete darkness... You can still remember it, can't you? You remember the days when the skies were filled with clouds... And when the moon moved across the fields, in the clear, unbroken moonlight. You remember the feeling of the clear moonlight on your skin... And the feeling of the heat of the Sun... And the feeling of the warmth of the Earth... And the feeling of the feeling of the sky and the sky and the sky, Warriors, it was beautiful. Oh, Warriors, I believe now I know something I did not know... I believe now it's all over. That night of the eclipse, when the shadows had all turned dark. I was thinking... If we're here, then there are more things... Maybe there is hope with the darkness, then...

***

Okay, let's add "Ultimate Warrior" to that to make sure it stays wrestling-rela–

Ultimate Warrior: "I can smell it... it is in the air... the cosmic powers of Mars... the clouds of Jupiter... the rings of Saturn... the boiling heat of Mercury. Something's gonna happen, Warriors. I can feel it. Warriors, fight back!"

— The Warrior's last words to Samurota, on the final boss of the series.

The Warrior, who had served as the titular hero and the first of the Xehanort-controlled Warriors, is the first to die, along with Samus from his final battle with Ganondorf; this event is later referred to in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time [4] and Majora's Mask.

A statue of the Warrior, known as the "Goddess of War", stands in Hyrule Castle Town.[5]

Biography

Spoiler warning : Plot or ending details follow.

The Warrior appeared as a human on an unnamed planet in ancient history. When he came to the planet he found it in dire shape due to a mysterious

:stare:

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

21 Hoot Salute posted:

Wrestlemania 35 card:
Charlotte vs Becky Lynch vs Ronda Rousey
Daniel Bryan vs Kofi Kingston
Seth Rollins vs Brock Lesnar

Jinder Mahal vs The Ultimate Warrior
Dolph Ziggler vs Braun Strowman
Samoa Joe vs Luke Harper (1st meeting)
John Cena vs Chris Jericho
Liam Smuckles vs John Morrison
Nikita Koloff vs Adam Rose
WWE Intercontinental Champion Jay Lethal vs Braun Strowman
Wrestlemania 34 - New Year's Revolution vs TLC matches
Dean Ambrose vs Batista
Cody Rhodes vs Seth Rollins + 1 match
Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins vs Sami Zayn vs Alberto Del Rio vs Sheamus vs Batista
Big E Langston vs Bray Wyatt
Luke Harper vs John Cena (2nd meeting)
Dolph Ziggler vs Braun Strowman
Rey Mysterio vs Jinder Mahal
Rey Mysterio vs Shinsuke Nakamura (2nd meeting)
Aerobic Zone vs TLC/Royal Rumble
I've been talking about this Wrestle
Things got weird when AEW and WWE both promised 24/7 live content for bored wrestling fans to watch at all hours.

a cyborg mug
Mar 8, 2010



The promos this thing generates are so good. Either they're spot on, like the Warrior ones, or just insane.

quote:

Hulk Hogan: You know something, maniacs, first things first: I want the Doctor Proper to know, the Doctor Unger to know, Doctor Hughes to know, that the release forms have been signed. You're not responsible for the last couple of fractures in the forearm, brother. The main priority in the Yapapi Indian strap match is to get the drat release forms signed. And it seems that only the Hulk Hogan is the only one who knows how to sign. Now just a suggestion to the others: get a doctor, not a nurse.

Dr. Hogan: Heh, I told you it was the only one.

Hulk Hogan: Doctor?

Dr. Hogan: Hogan. You have the Hulk Hogan shoulder brace in.

Hulk Hogan: What?

Dr. Hogan: The Hulk Hogan shoulder brace. Hulk!

Hulk Hogan: Ohh.

Dr. Hogan: Yes, we need to talk.

Hulk Hogan: You have the Hulk Hogan shoulder brace on.

Dr. Hogan: You have the Hulk Hogan shoulder brace on.

Hulk Hogan: Ohhh.

You have the Hulk Hogan shoulder brace on.

That one generated a LOT of what seemed like weird movie scene or stage play scripts.

quote:

Hulk Hogan: You know something, maniacs, first things first: I want the Doctor Proper to know, the Doctor Unger to know, Doctor Hughes to know, that the release forms have been signed. You're not responsible for the last couple of fractures in the forearm, brother. The main priority in the Yapapi Indian strap match is to get through. Hulk Hogan: Don't forget. Hulk Hogan: Don't forget.

[Hulk Hogan gets in the crowd] Hulk Hogan: I would like, if you'll excuse me, for you all to stand up and salute me. Hulk Hogan: [entering the ring] Who's a girl? [everyone claps] Hulk Hogan: [entering the ring] I would like, if you'll excuse me, for the people in the ringside stands, to stand up, and salute me. [everyone claps and claps] I am Hulk Hogan. I am Hogan and I am proud to call myself the Hulk Hogan.

[The Big Show is defeated] Big Show: I didn't expect this. [Show jumps over the ring] Big Show: You're gonna die? The Big Show
Share

Also, this

quote:

Hulk Hogan: You know something, maniacs, first things first: I want the Doctor Proper to know, the Doctor Unger to know, Doctor Hughes to know, that the release forms have been signed. You're not responsible for the last couple of fractures in the forearm, brother. The main priority in the Yapapi Indian strap match is to protect Hulk Hogan.

Dr. Henry Jacobs: What!? You can't sign these!

[Hulk Hogan's eyes glow red and then crack open and he screams.]

The Hulkster: What the -- (holds up a sign with an upside down Hulkering underneath it) What the -- WHAT IS THIS?!

[The Hulkster's fist crashes into the screen and a huge splash of water comes from his mouth. He opens his eye and it starts to bleed.]

Hulk Hogan: I'M GONE!

[An electric shock shoots up his arm, through his shoulder, and then into his chest.]

Hulk Hogan: Ow! Ow! Ow!

[The Hulkster collapses on the floor. An angry doctor runs over and starts bleeding his own hand.

Finally, the rest of that particular text wasn't anything special but at one point I got perhaps the greatest line of all time: "To my fellow Americans: I'm coming to kick your butt".

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

super macho dude posted:

"Murderer! MURDERER!", shouted Paul Bearer at the Undertaker during his match with Vader at In Your House: Canadian Stampede. Bearer made numerous references to the Undertaker's past acts of brutality, from using an electrified bat, to breaking wrestlers with a baton on multiple occasions. During one of the matches, a fan threw a cup of water at Undertaker, and a fellow fan threw a can of paint at him. Undertaker has also been known to throw beer at The Undertaker. Undertaker sometimes does not accept the advice of his doctors, and sometimes has serious problems with his body. In 2007, he developed an abnormally large abscess on his right hip. He still continues in his work. Undertaker's first match after suffering the injury in September of 2006 against Kane and Batista featured Kane attacking the Undertaker with a tarantula. [27]


Auritech
May 27, 2004

Blessed be the tailors
The masks are cut to fit

Blessed be the woodworkers
The crosses and the gallows

Blessed be the forgers of iron
And the spikes and the barbwire

Blessed be the stone cutters
It took a quarry to bury the dreams
See Nash, you can wear any Halloween costume you want to, but you know and I know that you're only half the man that I am - and I have half the brain that you do. The half with half the memory...
When you walk in the door you'll be dressed in a costume, as you should, but for just a moment you'll know the difference. For just a moment you'll recognize the face and voice, even if it's only the lips. You'll know who you are...you should be able to, but you're not. You have a very special talent, and for a moment you won't even understand what you're doing, and you'll feel it when you enter the room. Just a moment. For a moment...
For an instant you're someone else, and that is the most incredible feeling...
When the door opens...you're a girl. You're a really cool girl. You probably think twice about wearing a mask or a costume because you know that will never work. When you enter the room you will

Bard Maddox
Feb 15, 2012

I'm just a sick guy, I'm really just a dirty guy.
He had a long list of names: Johnny Nitro, Johnny Mundo, Johnny Impact, Johnny Superstar, Johnny Ultra, Johnny Blackcraft, Johnny Pectoral, Johnny Prodigy, Johnny Rampage, Johnny Slaughter, Johnny SmackDown, Johnny Tornado, Johnny Taurus, Johnny Velocity, Johnny Vigil, Johnny Vick, Johnny X, Johnny Xtreme, Johnny Xtreme 1st, Johnny Xtreme 2nd, Johnny Xtreme 3rd, Johnny Xtreme Extreme, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 2, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 3, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 4, Johnny Xtreme Superstars, Johnny Xtreme Superstars 2, and Johnny Xtreme Superstars 3. It's a long list.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Chris Jericho demanded a thank you and then he tossed his belt back at John Cena.

"Why you dropping your belt? Are you embarrassed?" Jericho asked. Cena defended himself and said it wasn't his choice. He then threw his belt to the floor, leaving the WWE Universe to wonder what his final decision would be. With that, Cena defeated the veteran in a match that took place at WrestleMania 29.

That's quite a decision to get rid of your belt and not give him an even share.

For more WWE news and rumors, follow @WrestleMania and our Twitter and Instagram feeds for more info.

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011

Bard Maddox posted:

He had a long list of names: Johnny Nitro, Johnny Mundo, Johnny Impact, Johnny Superstar, Johnny Ultra, Johnny Blackcraft, Johnny Pectoral, Johnny Prodigy, Johnny Rampage, Johnny Slaughter, Johnny SmackDown, Johnny Tornado, Johnny Taurus, Johnny Velocity, Johnny Vigil, Johnny Vick, Johnny X, Johnny Xtreme, Johnny Xtreme 1st, Johnny Xtreme 2nd, Johnny Xtreme 3rd, Johnny Xtreme Extreme, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 2, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 3, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 4, Johnny Xtreme Superstars, Johnny Xtreme Superstars 2, and Johnny Xtreme Superstars 3. It's a long list.

The Johnny Xtreme series really went downhill after Xtreme Superstars 2.

Numero6
Oct 10, 2012

ここは地の果て 流されて俺
今日もさすらい 涙も涸れる
ブルーゲイル
He should see that list.

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





Can't believe they forgot Super Johnny II Turbo smh

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer
What, no Johnny Ex Plus Alpha for Matching Service?

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Vince McMahon: I'm not gonna let Ric Flair kill what I created... I'm going to inject the WWF with a lethal dose of poison. If anybody's going to kill my creation, I'm gonna do it. Me! And the NWO. And the COSA! I'm gonna put the NWO and the COSA in the WWE, all in one place. I'm gonna kill all three of them, and then I'm gonna do it to the rest of the WWF.

WWF IC Champion Rick Rude : You're so loving delusional! Can I ask something that's been on my mind all day? Can I ask you one question? Have you lost anything? Just give me one answer to that... (Rude pauses a moment, then shakes his head) I'm loving serious. You're just an idiot.

WWF Tag Team Champions Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake : There it is, Mr. McMahon. (to the crowd) There it is!

WWF Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton: You're so fuckin

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

Hopkins FBI posted:

Dean Ambrose came out wearing a gas mask and said the fans smell like alcohol.

WWE.COM: Ambrose on the gas mask

Ambrose said the WWE Universe smells of alcohol because they're a "happy people" and they're not "drowning" in a bottle of booze. Ambrose said he won't allow someone to drink because they're a "happy person."

"They're supposed to be happy," Ambrose announced. "It's a happy place. They're supposed to be happy. They're supposed to be proud. They're supposed to be grateful. They're supposed to be happy. It's not a place for drinking because they're a happy people. I will not allow that. They smell like drinking."

WWE.COM: Ambrose on drinking in the ring

The announcement caused loud cheers from the NXT audience.

Ambrose then announced that he would be wearing an oxygen mask this Friday when NXT takes over the WWE Universe.

WWE.COM: Ambrose's new mask

Ambrose then announced his wife, Paige, will be working the Monday night show to
Paige here!

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

extradite THIS! posted:

What is the most devastating pro wrestling move of all time?

The most devastating pro wrestling move of all time is actually my personal favorite, when I found myself trying to use a "slam move" in WCW (it really helped me not get suspended, because people would look at me, and think "What the gently caress is wrong with you??!").

As the champion, after the title was challenged to a match, my plan was to knock him out using the move. Once I had his back, I'd try to make it rain down on him and make the "punching bag" look as ridiculous as possible. But then I'd throw a rock at his head and break his neck. He would almost be able to live out the dream, but then his soul would be separated from his body and he'd die. So then what would I do? I'd go all out! I'd go crazy!

How did you go from selling your body to the World Wrestling Federation?

To become the top guy in the World Wrestling Federation, you had to give up everything else.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
NWA World Heavyweight Champion Nick Aldis was challenged by challenger Ricochet for the title by beating the Brazilian with his signature "Baron" headlock to take his place!

As it is now, Nick Aldis does not have the ability to fight multiple opponents simultaneously. His only other fight was the infamous 2008 bout with Kevin Randleman at UFC 149. It was the only fight he competed in where his hand injury was a factor. A majority of his bouts are scheduled to be with just three competitors and thus he takes some time away from the cage and fights to avoid injury.

In all, Nick Aldis has held the World Heavyweight Championship twice. The first time, he fought three times, all with two title defenses. However, his current bout will be his first outside of the WWE. He was last in the WWE, competing in the first ever NXT TLC match.

Aldis has a lengthy history with the WWE. He first appeared at WWE Tough Enough, along with his fellow NXT talents, the Young Bucks. The Bucks, led by Jinder Mahal, wrestled in Raw

e: the second attempt ended up even better

NWA World Heavyweight Champion Nick Aldis was challenged by Triple H to a boxing match for the World Title. The fight was postponed when Aldis was injured on live television during a live broadcast.

On December 5, 1996, with Triple H preparing to defend the belt for the first time, the WCCW announced that Jim Cornette would be returning to the promotion to take the title. Cornette won the WCCW World Title by defeating Koko B. Ware on January 15, 1997 for the title. On February 27, 1997, following the defeat of Ware, WCW released Cornette's title and declared him "retired". It was later revealed that he would be inducted into the Hall of Fame if the event wasn't held at Wrestlemania X-Seven.

After a short stint as champion, Mark Henry and Kurt Angle won the WCW World Title from Cornette and he made another return to WWE in 1996. On May 2, 1997, the WWE launched an "interim WCW World Championship". Following John Cena's retirement, Angle defeated Cornette to secure the title.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

21 Hoot Salute posted:

"We're really glad that you're our friend
And this is a friendship that will never ever end"
When the music stopped, Bray Wyatt warned Seth Rollins that THE FIEND was going to
WIN THE MONEY. Seth gave out a great promo on how he had taken the feud seriously and that he wanted the win for The Fan or the fan loses. As soon as The Fan took the mic back on Bray Wyatt put up a giant red sign above the WWE logo that said, "I'm a fan!"
- Bray Wyatt went into a promo about the "Seth Riddle." This is a reference to the book, The Riddle Of Seth Rollins by Chris Shelton. Seth and Bray Wyatt have had a good feud lately which included Seth being the main guy and also, having a bit of a thing about him being a little too hot. Bray used the character "Seth Riddle" to mock Seth and, in his mind, that he is not deserving of the title shot.
It was revealed that Dean Ambrose is in on all of this as he was just being quiet backstage and never went out of his way to show a

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer
Decided to feed TTTransformer some Oney Lorcan tweets. I apologize in advance for the all caps, it's literally how Oney tweets and when I put them in lowercase I felt like it was missing something.

***

EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT AT SMACKDOWN VINCE MCMAHON CALLS ME INTO HIS OFFICE AND TELLS ME TO CLOSE THE DOOR AND WE TAKE OUR SHIRTS OFF AND LISTEN TO ACDC AND DO PUSH UPS AND TALK ABOUT PPL WE WANT TO FIGHT AND I HOPE THIS MAKES PPL ON REDDIT MAD AGAIN AND GETTING A LOT MORE PPL INTO THE GAY GATHERING COMMUNITY SO INSTEAD OF DYING AS SONG LYRICS YOU MIGHT DIE AS RIFF MALLACE.

***

GODS OF WRESTLING FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND I WILL FILL MY JETPACK WITH MY OWN ROCKET FUEL AND TRAVEL TO DESTROY THE MAN NAMED TIM THATCHER AT A FEDERATION NAMED WXW IN GERMANY AND DANNY BURCH WILL COME TOO AND KICK rear end AND DRINK BEER WITH ME BECAUSE HE DOESNT LIKE DON JULIO.

Thanks to BULLY HURT for the awesome intro and outro. Listen to "The End Is Near" on Spotify.

And to the cast and crew of Nascar X:

Joey "The Pain" Litt: You have never driven anything faster so you never know the full force of the car so it's always fun to be watching them in the pits. Joey will be a huge talent and a legend on the show.

Bully Hank Hill: You'll be going all the way to Germany to battle some of the best drivers in the world and Bully doesn't like competition! Bully would win.

Sting: The best man in the world is in every scene of the show but Sting always looks tired! You may also want to have a cold beer because Sting says in this show, "there is no such thing as a cold beer in the world of sports entertainment…you can't win if you're drunk. In the last 30 days, every person I was with had been drunk. I mean, it's amazing. How do I know how many people you got to drink with?" The number is somewhere between five and 30.

21 Hoot Salute
Feb 8, 2005

Night-time, turn around
Lonely is the city tonight
Night-time, all around
Lonely in the city tonight



I wanted to see what TTT thought about last night's Raw

Raw opened with a new theme song, a new set and a new commentary team of Jerry Lawler, Vic Joseph and Dio Maddin (Brennan Williams), who welcomed us to the season premiere of Raw (not how this works etc)
Rey Mysterio came out to promote his Universal Championship match against Seth tonight. Rey's large son Dominic
, who I've been seeing all week, was there. It's one thing to talk about the WWE Championship, it's another to have it on your shoulder.
The first match of the show tonight went like this:
The winner of the match was WWE Superstar The Miz vs. The Undertaker. Miz wrestled under the Undertaker name, he said. He won, and the crowd went wild. This is the end of the first hour...
But that wasn't the end. After Miz was defeated, Daniel Bryan's tag team partner Kane ran out to announce that RVD had gotten his own tagteam champion...and it was Seth Rollins. Kane's face was replaced with Daniel Bryan's mask. That was pretty good but I've never seen Kane get on the floor in a ring in that role.

:stare:

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth
I really like the lists


Andre the Giant, Giant Baba, The Giant, Super Giant Ninja, Giant Baba, Big Daddy & Mr. Fuji, Mr. Fuji, The Giant, Goliath, Mondo, and The Giant, Giant Baba, Mondo, and The Giant, Mr. Fuji, and The Giant, Mr. Fuji, The Giant, Giant Baba, Big Daddy, & Mr. Fuji.

"We've made a huge push to bring this show to you, and we will not let you down. There are many great wrestlers in this promotion, some great wrestlers to take on and match that to who they are in the ring with. We've brought in some great guys to help fill our show on Thursday. The first event we plan to bring to you from us is the big event from Wrestlemania, the main event of Wrestlemania XXIX, March, 1995 in Orlando, Florida. The story and the big event that we are going to bring to you tonight is the match between Roddy Piper and Giant Baba." - WWF Tag Team Champions The Giant & Mr. Fuji with John L. Sullivan.

"We know

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
Let's resolve the discussion about the biggest draw from the WCW thread once and for all:

The biggest draw of all time in professional wrestling was always "The Showmaster" Sid Vicious and his endless parade of heel turn-offs who would become popular by putting their bodies on the line for the good of the company.

He may have fallen from grace following his WWE retirement, but he still reigns as the most influential wrestler of the past 20 years. His heel turn wasn't easy either, as we talked to several former WCW veterans about his infamous moves.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

The "This Is Your Life" epic involving Mick Foley, The Rock and a colourful cast of characters said to be from Rock's past remains one of the most beloved skits in WWE history. Foley's natural charm and The Rock's razor-sharp wit helped the film to become a huge hit.

The film is based on the book in which Foley describes becoming a part of the WWF with the idea that he was "wasting his years training for a career in a sports entertainment business". As with all the legends that featured in the film, Foley was also inspired by the life of an alcoholic who got his start in the WWF.

The film's success is largely credited to Foley's charisma and charisma in his role as King Kong Bundy in the film, which led to him receiving an Academy Award nomination with Rock's best supporting actress award.
Foley said: "It's not my first career, and it's not my first time acting as a part of a movie," "This Is Your Life" is in cinemas now.

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



frankenfreak posted:

Let's resolve the discussion about the biggest draw from the WCW thread once and for all:

The biggest draw of all time in professional wrestling was always "The Showmaster" Sid Vicious and his endless parade of heel turn-offs who would become popular by putting their bodies on the line for the good of the company.

He may have fallen from grace following his WWE retirement, but he still reigns as the most influential wrestler of the past 20 years. His heel turn wasn't easy either, as we talked to several former WCW veterans about his infamous moves.

The REAL biggest draw of all time in professional wrestling was the big name.

The real main draw of the big shows was the big name.

Not "real big".

The main attraction.

And most WWE Hall of Famers never even had a TV show.

The real big attraction.

You know who's a lot bigger in WWE than all these big name guys?

Shane McMahon!

And this guy is just about the most dangerous character in WWE history…

Shane McMahon:

If his son wanted to be a champion in WWE, I don't think they would have chosen him.

This will be a HUGE story for years to come.

Shane McMahon:

For years I told my sons: There's no way you're gonna be a superstar in WWE. Not the way I envisioned it. I said "No" to the idea. I didn't believe it. I told them you either get a championship shot or you get taken out. And the way I made that decision, I told the boys "You're

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!
Lashley motioned to the entrance.... then again. Then again. Then a third time. Finally Lana came out and her and Lashley started making out because Vince McMahon is a useless sack of poo poo old man.

Lane and Lashley left. Lashley was wearing an American flag t-shirt which led to the main event of the night. The Undertaker (Randy Orton) attacked Shane and got caught by the giant, who would later have an affair with Ronda Rousey. Then the Undertaker went for the finisher that the WWF had failed to nail, the Tombstone. It was the next most memorable moment in the history of the WWF. Or maybe not.

It was really fun but the main event was just filler and nothing more than a pile of random wrestling match footage. The Undertaker won. And that night's main event did nothing to move the story. Not even the main event. For all intents and purposes, it was the end of the road for the WWF. That was until the next night.

The Night Of The loving Undertakers

There are a few highlights from this segment.

*****

haha holy poo poo. The Night Of The loving Undertakers!

just rust
Oct 23, 2012

At WWE, at some point talent is slotted into a position. Changing that perspective, altering your destiny, becomes almost impossible. And Cody had been trapped in a maze with no exit. Perhaps that's why at AEW's first live event, Double or Nothing, Cody smashed a double-clutch DDT on Cody Rhodes – a man who, in his own right, could have been the man he had been on the outside.

That night Cody was back, the old Cody. The "new" Cody. The man who was the man and could get by with the same moves and tactics that got him there.

That night, Cody and the crew at AEW celebrated their first match back since the death of the company. As the clock ticked down to midnight, they got started.

"We're talking about one-fourth of our lives still to go," said AEG trainer Jason "Tantrum" Miller. "We're going to give [the fans] what they deserve. We're going to make it a big show."

This was no longer the WWE.

Venomous
Nov 7, 2011





GHC Heavyweight Champions: Mitsuharu Misawa, Jun Akiyama, Yoshinori Ogawa, Yoshihiro Takayama, Shoichi Nakamori, Takashi Ishii, Akira Taue, Kyoji Kawamori, Takashi Iizuka, Katsuyori Shibata, Nobutoshi Araki (tie-in contest) (1) -- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest) -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

3,000,000 Yen prize

Kuroshitsuji

- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

- -- (tie-in contest)

2,000,000 Yen prize (a double-blind


...


IWGP Heavyweight Champions: Antonio Inoki, Tatsumi Fujinami, Big Van Vader, Salman Hashimikov, Riki Choshu, Shinsuke Nakamura, KAZAHAMA – This was arguably the biggest show of the year, yet there was no reason to miss out. A very entertaining show-match, one of the better to-date. IWGP Tag Team Champions: Tomohiro Ishii, Kenny Omega, Satoshi Kojima, Shinsuke Nakamura (New Japan's Tetsuya Naito made it onto the list due to his long reign, which will happen if he continues doing what he's doing), BUSHI, Riki Choshu (I think that's another one), Naomichi Marufuji and a match at the final show of the year, but it was a non-title match between the top teams of the year!

WWE: WWE World Heavyweight title change: It was a shocking and controversial makeover. Most fans were shocked that AJ Styles and John Cena won at Wrestlemania 25, however those who

a cyborg mug
Mar 8, 2010



just rust posted:

At WWE, at some point talent is slotted into a position. Changing that perspective, altering your destiny, becomes almost impossible. And Cody had been trapped in a maze with no exit. Perhaps that's why at AEW's first live event, Double or Nothing, Cody smashed a double-clutch DDT on Cody Rhodes – a man who, in his own right, could have been the man he had been on the outside.

That night Cody was back, the old Cody. The "new" Cody. The man who was the man and could get by with the same moves and tactics that got him there.

That's... kind of profound.

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth

DeepDickPizza posted:



The Night Of The loving Undertakers!

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth

Pay per views: Bad blood, vengeance, no mercy, capital punishment


Badblood: An ancient Roman custom where an avenger pays a person in favor of another, usually an innocent person, instead of taking the life of the person he or she has wronged

Paying at random: A way, more common in the English-speaking world, to pay in an "unfair competition" where a person pays for a service, or even a car service

Gang of two: A group of three or more individuals who agree, in exchange for money or a service, to each pay one another more money, often to a third person, who is able to profit from the group agreement through the "groupie" relationship. Some gangs involve gang members, but in most types, just two or three people agree to pay more money

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

SalTheBard posted:

WWE stands for Walk with Elias and walk alone.

WWE is a place where you are not judged in the halls of power but rather where you can meet a wide range of people who will lift you up and give a second chance at life.

The WWE takes pride in being an inclusive and welcoming organization which celebrates its diversity, welcomes all who want to achieve their dreams, and is a place where the spirit of fellowship reigns.

WWE wants to thank the community of Huntsville, Alabama, and all of the guests, fans, and wrestlers that made 2017 our best year yet. We are proud to announce WrestleMania Day! Join us in bringing the entire WWE family, the community, and all the guests together on this special Saturday.

WrestleMania Day will begin promptly at 12:01 am on Sunday, March 29, 2017, and concludes on Thursday, May 8, 2017.

Celebrate in honor of WWE Champion CM Punk, one of the most popular Superstars of all time. Fans can enjoy food, drink specials, live performances, and other

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer
At Royal Rumble '94, Owen Hart turned on his brother Bret during a tag team match, stating "I don't need you with a bad leg doing the Bret. You're too drat selfish, and that's why you're sitting out there with a bad leg, and that's why I kicked your leg out of your leg!" Bret tried to punch Owen, only to receive a forearm from the Brother of the Law, a move that could have been described as "a kick the leg into a table."

In 2007, during the "Hulk Hogan for Hulkamania" pay-per-view, the WWE tried to change the storyline for that particular match and the ensuing match, by adding footage of Bret Hart throwing a chair into "the face of the Undertaker" (a reference to their previous match on Smackdown, the "SummerSlam" match in which Hogan pinned the Undertaker, which was also in the ring with a chair). Hogan, not having seen the clip, simply threw a chair at the camera.

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth

Angry_Ed posted:



In 2007, during the "Hulk Hogan for Hulkamania" pay-per-view, the WWE tried to change the storyline for that particular match and the ensuing match, by adding footage of Bret Hart throwing a chair into "the face of the Undertaker" (a reference to their previous match on Smackdown, the "SummerSlam" match in which Hogan pinned the Undertaker, which was also in the ring with a chair). Hogan, not having seen the clip, simply threw a chair at the camera.

Lol

When in doubt, simply throw a chair at the camera

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Son of Man posted:

Lol

When in doubt, simply throw a chair at the camera

p. sure that’s the very first rule you learn in wrestling improv 100

and if it isn’t, then how the heck did it even get accredited, wth kind of clownshoes curriculum even is that :argh:

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

SalTheBard posted:

Minoru Suzuki is terrifyingly cute as a young boy who is sent to live in a strange world while his childhood friends live among other children. This is a story of a boy who is not afraid to try his luck, to overcome the obstacles in his path, and to live in an unfamiliar reality.

I've never read an anime story that features two protagonists this strong.


If you want the full experience, if you like watching cute anime and if you like the story that is behind this series, then you will love this series.


I don't want to say any more than that.


I hope that some people will pick it up and get to experience this story that can be found among the best series of all time.

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth
The Connecticut Blueblood, the game, the rear end kicker, the cerebral assassin, the king of kings and a woman's name, I mean no disrespect to those men, but I think you'd get along just fine.


Well, we get along, because all we're doing here is what we were brought up to do. We aren't just killing those people, we're playing the game. We're making the best of it. And those who are the bad guys always make it worse. Those who're the good guys are always in the right.


We've got one in the ring. What good is one?

What I want to know is what it will feel to me when the time comes that the time comes to die.

What if I knew that I was the one killing the man? What would it be like to go that extra mile? And what would it feel like?

And those are the questions I ask myself. When I know I'm in the right, what will it feel like? I want to make sure that is the case. That's what I want my soul to be full of. And I don


Badasses always kick an rear end in a top hat's rear end.
You never know when they'll come. You never know when they'll strike again.

But not every hero has the power to do it. If it is one of these heroes that you're looking for, I've listed them below

Son of Man fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Oct 3, 2019

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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

quote:

Triple H spoke with weary resignation. 'No sir that was cody rhodes. He's an AEW guy. Our guy was bringing Finn Balor back to NXT.'

'Oh' said Vince, crestfallen 
'It must be a total coincidence. I'll be contacting everyone in your division. It's a really lovely news. And you'll be in trouble because of the new rules! '

'Mr McMahon' said a man called Randy Orton 'Mr McMahon', 'this isn't an official situation'

'poo poo', said Triple H, 'this is an official situation! All the wrestlers are going to have to submit to a DQ!'

And so the next month, Triple H called WWE's head offices and told them that, in an effort to save the company, the rules for the new PPV were to be changed.

The new rules required any competitor with an active contract to have won a title within the previous 24 months. If they won a title in less than three years, they were allowed to be reinstated but the contract would be automatically forfeited. If either wrestler won a title before or after a certain

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