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In the spirit of the thread I think they should have a sit down with a mod.
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Oct 4, 2019 20:17
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 21:21 |
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Listen to mister mod boss!
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Oct 4, 2019 20:30
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Your Gay Uncle posted:In the spirit of the thread I think they should have a sit down with a mod. Sorry, the best we could get was Mod, Jr. "Do you know who my father was?"
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Oct 4, 2019 20:43
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crazy eyes mustafa posted:Listen to mister mod boss!  What did you sayda me?! *heavy nose breathing*
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Oct 4, 2019 21:19
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I forgot about this exchange. Carmela: Was Charmaine there? Tony: Yep. Carmela: She looks good, doesn’t she? Tony: What, are you disappointed? Her husband dumped her, you thought she was gonna look like a krull? Carmela: ...a “krull”? Tony: A crone...a troll...I don’t know!
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Oct 4, 2019 22:46
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https://youtu.be/qzNSL1BS6ms?t=101 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji3IfcUsIdc
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Oct 4, 2019 23:34
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Xander77 posted:You've been on the internet too long. Correcting someone's mistakes is not a personal attack. It's fairly standard over at the uni. I was making a joke on an internet comedy forum, dude.
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Oct 5, 2019 00:12
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Pope Corky the IX posted:I forgot about this exchange. The first time I heard that and sometime after I thought that was an actual Italian insult and not Tony just fumbling over words, or possibly trying to make 'krull' happen.
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Oct 5, 2019 01:15
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Wow, it took me almost a month but I finally read through this entire thread. Big props to Jerusalem for their recaps because I have never felt that engrossed in a TV show...that I never really watched. I had seen a couple clips before, but I had tried for most of my life to avoid any interaction with the show. In fact, I tried as hard as possible to avoid watching the show. My parents, who did watch, said I reminded them of AJ in the early seasons (which after reading this thread makes it sound like the worst thing you could say to a kid.) I grew up in North Jersey when it aired, and all the people who lived like they wanted to be in the Sopranos...those people always bugged the poo poo out of me, and I did not like being around them. Including a next door neighbor who was also in "waste management", who also had turned his (very small) backyard into just one pool with waterfall, and a large giraffe statue sticking out over the trees. But now, after I've moved away for almost a decade, and watching the clips in this thread...it is like visiting a piece of my childhood. I went a watched the pilot yesterday and enjoyed it. I'll probably go through the whole series now.
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Oct 5, 2019 02:29
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You definitely should. It's absolutely one of the most important and influential TV shows in the history of the medium. It was a turning point. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say it's the show that changed everything.
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Oct 5, 2019 04:58
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Season 5, Episode 5 - Irregular Around The MarginsChristopher Moltisanti posted:Even if it wasn't true, it's what people think. Meadow, Finn and a couple of friends are dancing at the Crazy Horse, having a great time being young and free. Meadow excuses herself to use the bathroom and a social disaster unfolds. Because Tony Soprano is ALSO at the Crazy Horse, emerging from the back office with a drink in one hand, rubbing his nose after having clearly just snorted some coke, and walks right into his daughter. As the cringe levels escalate to dangerous heights, he explains he has an office her and tries to joking warn her against drinking and driving, reminds her to be safe and - of course - offers her some money if she needs it. She excuses her to the bathroom and he makes a quick exit, running into Adriana who was on her way to warn him his daughter was in tonight, but was sidetracked by a kid having a seizure upstairs. Tony, deeply humiliated, just wants to get the hell out of there, and tells Benny to call Eugene and Vito and have them meet him elsewhere. Meadow, also deeply humiliated, returns to Finn who doesn't quite grasp the sarcasm in her voice when she explains Tony has an office here. She quickly suggests to the others that they also go somewhere else. It's a funny scene in and of itself, a awkward moment where father and daughter bump into each other in a social setting neither feels comfortable seeing the other in. But there's far more to it than that. For all the people who watched The Sopranos and actually envied or respected Tony's lifestyle, it's a pretty sharp slap in the face. Tony Soprano is out boozing, doing drugs, loving anything that moves... but it's pathetic. He's a fat, bald, middle-aged father hanging out at a club aimed at a clientele his daughter's age. He's an immature, uncontrolled slob desperately trying to pretend his life hasn't fallen apart with the collapse of his marriage. Coming face to face with Meadow is coming face to face with the consequences of his actions and the inappropriateness of his behavior. If he was willing to dwell on this and discuss the actual implications it might be constructive, but his reaction is churlish anger at being made to feel uncomfortable, and the immediate retreat through the emergency exit rather than engaging in self-examination.   At her next meeting with Agent Sanseverino, Adriana mentions how much time Tony is spending at the club now. She's long past actively trying to avoid being around people, and seems to have fallen into the trap of thinking of Sanseverino as a friend or at least listening post she can unload her thoughts and feelings on. She even jokes that she's not going to give Tony a blowjob to help the FBI when Sanseverino suggests Tony might be hanging around because of her. But as the conversation turns to a phonecall Christopher received from somebody with a Southern Accent, and Sanseverino ignores her protests to instruct her how to snoop at his phone, her stomach begins to bother her. She insists they pull over, she needs to use the bathroom ("Number Two" she delicately puts it, after crassly joking about blowjobs a minute earlier) RIGHT NOW. As she is squeezing one out, Tony is suffering through a similar discomfort as a mole is removed from his forehead and the nurse bandages him up. The doctor takes the biopsy down to the lab to test it, and Tony is instructed to go and wait in the canteen for the test results. Adriana has also gone to see a doctor, who checks her stomach and asks questions about her bowel movements and the pain she is feeling. She's suffering diarrhea, but given he isn't detecting pain or tenderness in particular areas, he believes her condition may be brought about by stress rather than anything physically wrong. He asks her if she is facing any unusual stress lately, and Adriana - who is engaged to a junkie mobster, is running a nightclub, is organizing a wedding AND is working with the FBI to inform on the mob - says her only stress is worrying about being near a bathroom, and she just wants to get some medicine to get it taken care of. Tony, who presumably has had his results explained to him, goes to his old home to dish out Carmela's "allowance". She comments archly on how he is "spending time with today's youth", because OF COURSE Meadow told Carmela all about the mortification of meeting her father in a night club. Tony of course retreats into "do I have to explain my business after all these years?" explanations, but Carmela isn't picking a fight, she got in her dig and now she mildly points out it is his life and he can do what he wants with it. The entire time she is sketching a bowl of fruit, but she's noticed the bandage on Tony's head and asks if it is the result of another panic attack. Rather than tell her the truth he says he just banged his head on the medicine cabinet, and then with the kind of utter lack of awareness of other people's feelings that has marked his whole life, he picks an apple out of the bowl and starts eating as he comes around to observe her work. She doesn't comment on this, just keeps drawing, and belatedly he grasps what he has done and helpfully places the now bitten apple back in with the rest while asking perhaps one of the most infuriating questions any artist can be asked: what do you do it for? This is their marriage in basically a nutshell: Tony blindly ruining things because he only thinks of himself, providing a shallow solution that doesn't address any underlying issues, and completely failing to understand what motivates and drives Carmela. Christopher shaves as Adriana checks on her make-up, discussing her recent doctor's visit. The diagnosis was Irritable Bowel Syndrome, with more information to come when her tests come back. Christopher, who like Tony doesn't quite seem to have grasped what marriage actually means, is pissed that she's being just a little detailed in her explanation of what is wrong with her. Despite being put off by her use of the word "stool sample" though he doesn't mind telling her about an Aunt whose "rear end in a top hat rotted out" from colon cancer. He is bemused at the notion that stress might have caused her problems, asking what she could possibly have to be stressed about, belittling the idea that running a club could at all be a source of tension. Adriana, who of course can't admit that she's working with the FBI, falls back on the ongoing issues America was having at the time in the Middle East. Christopher exposes a mindset that was certainly not unique at that time, as he laughs that the President assured them all they would mop the floor with their enemies and put the whole world under their control. Seeing she's still upset though, he gives her a little kiss on the lips and the forehead, and if he was only a little more self-aware perhaps he would have realized that just offering support and love to her would be enough to help her with a lot of her problems.   Back at the Crazy Horse, Tony is in the back office making bets on the phone when Adriana pops in to timidly pick up her day planner. Tony tells her not to worry, he's done for the evening, and sits drinking as Adriana awkwardly makes conversation about how her car is in the shop after less than 5000 miles on it. Tony tells her he heard she went to the doctor and she explains it is for stomach troubles, and then with some embarrassment admits it is IBS. Tony doesn't know what that means, clearly thinking the worst until she explains and he smiles and notes his mother had it all her life. Warming to the conversation, he points out the bandage on his head and tells her with an odd amount of pride that it is cancer, almost like he is showing off. He assures her the doctors believe they got all of it out, but of course when you hear the word cancer you start thinking about your own mortality. Adriana is fascinated and horrified, becoming less awkward and more engaged, taking a seat at her desk so they can talk more. In a way that Christopher didn't, Tony actually asks her to provide him with more information about her IBS, but doesn't comment when she "jokes" about how Christopher didn't want to hear any more information. Checking his watch, he decides to get going as AJ will be back from his volleyball "thing" soon. Adriana smiles to hear that, noting that Tony is a good father and wishing her own had been more like him. Not sure how to really respond to a comment like that, Tony just offers her a good night and heads out the door. Early the next morning, Christopher is giving instructions to Little Paulie and an associate as they load up a van with a variety of goods they'll be taking down to Raleigh in North Carolina to be fenced, before picking up cigarettes in Winston-Salem. Adriana emerges with a bottle of Folic Acid for Christopher to take with him, and becomes intrigued with the things in the van and starts asking questions, picking up on the fact Christopher is going at Tony's direction to speak with the person he was arguing with on the phone a few nights earlier. Christopher isn't in the mood to talk though, complaining about his toothache and the fact he can't take any painkillers for it due to his addiction, while she with her bad stomach gets handed a cocktail of different pills to take. That same stomach issue coming back on her, Adriana clutches her belly, kisses him goodbye, tells him she loves him and then races indoors to use the bathroom. With typical lack of subtlety, Christopher just blurts out to the others that she has diarrhea. That night Tony walks into the back office of the Crazy Horse... directly into Adriana snorting a line of coke. Amused but eager, he accepts her offer to join her to snort a line himself. Tony is here to meet with some friends from New York, and she assures him she has plenty of work to do out front that will keep her away. Tony likes the band playing for once but Adriana isn't a fan, admitting she's only letting them play as a favor to Sil, whose manager owes him money. Tony starts to play darts as she explains she came in to work today on her day off because she doesn't like being home alone when Christopher isn't there. But still she can't resist mocking the dirty looks he gives her when she pours a drink of wine, and Tony is thrilled, he always gets a kick out of mocking people and thinks she has nailed his "constipated owl" look perfectly and does his own impression, making her laugh. She admits that when she first met him she was scared of him, but is quick to explain that this is always her first reaction to any stranger. She's not scared of him now though, and when he offers her to join him for a friendly game of darts (with money on the line) she quickly takes him up on the offer. She misses the board on the first shot and playfully he pats her stomach to ask about her IBS, and she playfully slaps him away saying she knows he is trying to distract her. At which point she nails two great shots and with great pleasure he realizes she has hustled him. But as she retrieves the darts and brings them to him, they drop on the floor and awkwardly she drops to her knees to collect them... and things get weird. On her knees in front of him, Tony's mind immediately jumps to oral sex, and he awkwardly looms over her as she looks up and realizes that this positioning is not a good look. Quickly he reaches down and helps her up, and they stand just a bit too close staring at each other as he strokes the side of her face. He leans in a little closer and she's too shocked/frightened (in spite of what she said earlier) to move away as he gets closer... and then a loud thumping on the door breaks the spell and they pull apart. Quickly Tony cleans up and hides away the dish with the last residues of coke on it, then gives her the nod to open the door. Joey Peeps is standing on the other side, looking as menacing as ever, with Phil Leotardo waiting behind him. They enter and Adriana slips out, telling them to call her if they need anything, and Phil hands over an envelope of cash to Tony, ignoring his "joke" about how late they are. We're privy to no further information about their dealings, but it is the two highly placed members of Johnny Sack's faction coming to visit the Boss of New Jersey while the Lupertazzis are in a war of succession: all seen by Adriana, who is working with the FBI.   Despite - or because of - Tony's passive aggressive "apology" letter, Dr. Melfi has agreed to bring him back to therapy. Looking defeated after his prior visits where he declared he no longer needed her and then faked out a return to try and put the moves on her, this time he's declared defeat and come back for the help he clearly needs. It's awkward, as they settle into the office and stare across the table at each other. Finally he thanks her for taking the appointment and offers another apology for his actions, this time as least not couching it in terms that put the blame on her. Finally he broaches the topic that is currently at the forefront of his mind: Adriana. He's quick to explain nothing happened between them, but he is positive it could have. Melfi is impressed, saying she's pleased that instead of acting on impulse he thought, he held back, he came to discuss it in therapy (she has no idea he was only cut off by Joey Peeps and Phil arriving). Tony disagrees, he always thinks, but she dismisses that claim by pointing out the self-destructive and stupid things he has done in the past like sleeping with his mistress' cousin, as if having a mistress wasn't bad enough in the first place. Astonishingly, when she asks him to tell her about Adriana, Tony gets a faraway expression on his face and goofily starts talking about how he could start a whole new family with her, "do it right this time". Can he truly be that naive/full of himself? Here again is an implicit blaming of Carmela even as he admits his own faults, looking to trade her in for a younger, sexier model. It's his nephew's fiance he is talking about, somebody he almost kissed during an awkward moment when they were both high on coke, and he's imagining domestic bliss and new little Soprano babies? But he quickly admits that this would be a disaster when a disbelieving Melfi asks if he is actually considering this. Carmela would wipe him out financially for the humiliation, it would kill Christopher, it would wreck his own succession plans for the running of the Family. Plus, and at least he has thought this much, it would be a terrible thing for Adriana who deserves better than this. He shows a measure of self-awareness by agreeing that any attraction she might feel for him (remember, she was coked up and scared) is probably "in part" because he represents a father-figure she never had. Melfi drives that point home, noting it would be an act of symbolic incest, and he quickly shifts the conversation because that is NOT something he wants to talk about, it was bad enough just running into Meadow at Crazy Horse let alone even edge near the general discussion of incest. So now he wants advice, what does he do now? Because he was "lucky" to be able to control himself but "you only get one of those". Already he's coming up with excuses as to why it wouldn't be his fault if he banged the incredibly attractive young fiance of his nephew. Melfi is having none of it, saying that he's trying to rationalize why it wouldn't be his fault and not accepting his statement that it's different for women than it is for men. Instead she offers him a way to set limits and boundaries in his interactions with her to make it clear there can be no sexual relationship (much as she has had to do for him in the past). She considers this a milestone, that Tony is for once trying to do the right thing, and points out with at least a little bit of ego-stroking that he recently told her that he couldn't live without having HER but she refused and life went on and he got by just fine. Just because he wants to gently caress Adriana doesn't mean he has to, but the fact is that if he feels he can't control himself around her... he just has to stop being around her. It's as simple as that for her, but of course for Tony his reaction is far less enthusiastic..... deny himself an urge? What kind of crazy talk is that!?!   Hilariously, Adriana's own quasi-therapy session is basically in the complete opposite direction. As she feeds ducks near the river while talking with Sanseverino, Adriana talks warmly about Tony and the ducks he once had, and the FBI Agent mistakes this for romantic interest and does her best to agree that Tony is "kind of" attractive, a definite alpha male. Adriana, who Tony believes was hot to trot, is aghast and openly laughs at the idea that she was planning to have sex with Tony. The thought never even occurred to her, while Tony is off in therapy talking about starting a family with her and "doing it right", she just wanted a friend to chat with. Sanseverino is confused, and a little concerned when Adriana complains that all she knows is eventually her and Christopher are going to get married, put this current chapter of their lives behind them and move out of the State. She still thinks this is all going to end with her and Christopher riding off into the sunset, she's completely oblivious to the reality of the situation. Sanseverino also doesn't believe she's only interested in Tony as a friend. At a debrief later with Cubitoso, Ciccerone and Grasso, she's told them all that Adriana has a sexual interest in Tony. Grasso can't believe it, she wants to gently caress "Barney Rubble"? Sanseverino, betraying a contempt for her CI and losing her usual formality, puts on a squeaky voice and mocks Adriana's claim that Tony really listens to her and they just don't know him like she does. They all laugh, to them it's just a subject of amusement, and a sign of the dehumanization that comes with playing with other people's lives no matter how noble the cause they're fighting for might be. Back at Crazy Horse, she greets Tony at the bar when he arrives wearing a suit. There's some measure of awkwardness between them, he explains that he'll need to use the office when Patsy arrives with somebody else, and she says that is no issue as she's pushing herself to spend more time on the floor cracking the whip with the staff. Tony yawns and says he's going to grab a nap while he waits, but as he leaves she calls him back to ask if he has Christopher's number, as he called her but didn't leave the number of the phone he is currently using. She feels uneasy as he hesitates, this is intruding into their business side of things, so he just fobs her off with an assurance Christopher is sure to call back and in any case he'll be home tomorrow. The night passes the bar empties out, Adriana unable to hold off from entering the office any later as she needs to take the cash back there. She enters and finds Tony with only an undershirt and pants on, checking a mole in the mirror. He explains he was just taking a closer look since it seems "irregular around the margins", admitting that since his little cancer scare he sees melanoma everywhere now. As he gets his shirt back on, Adriana puts through a call to a car service to pick her up, her car is still in the shop. Tony offers her a drink and she admits what she really needs is a snort of coke, she planned to tidy the house up before Christopher got home and needs something to perk her up. Tony grins and says he wouldn't say no either, but the dealer who operates out of the Bada Bing would be done by now (2am). She knows a dealer though, and Tony suggests she cancel the car service and he'll give her a ride out there. As this is clearly a terrible, recklessly bad idea, she agrees. Driving through the night, Adriana notes that one of her staff - Marlene - thinks Tony is cute. He isn't interested because she's over 30 (un-loving-believable the double-standard of this fat, bald middle-aged man) and she freaks out when he says he'd really like to meet that friend she brought over to the house once before: Danielle, who in reality was FBI Agent Deborah Ciccerone. "She's dead!" proclaims Adriana in a panic, and when a surprised Tony asks for more details she stumbles out that drowned... on a picnic! Tony is taken aback, and explains that while it might sound conceited he thought he picked up on a connection with her (they met for like 12 seconds!). Adriana looks away from him to the road and squeals in horror to see a racoon in the middle of the road, screaming out a warning to Tony. He swerves and the car rolls over and crashes on its side, skidding down the road and coming to a hard stop, smoke rising as it lays motionless in the middle of the road.  Tony sits on a hospital bed, completely unscathed. His doctor joins him to let him know that they're established there are no internal injuries, and that a nurse will soon come by to discharge him. Tony is concerned, that was a bad accident, how can there be nothing wrong with him? He asks if the doctor did all the tests, assuring him he can afford to pay, and the doctor - a black man - becomes coldly offended, believing Tony is second-guessing his skills/training despite having a medical degree from John Hopkins. Tony quickly cuts him off, telling him to take it easy, and asks if he can see Adriana to see how she is doing. Shortly he is by her side, she is bruised up on the face and is wearing a neck brace, but he tells her she is fine and is only being held overnight for observation. She doesn't remember what happened, and he explains about the racoon. His car is totaled but he's unconcerned, figuring it probably saved their lives by taking all the damage. Of course she wants to go home, becoming fixated on the fact that Christopher is coming home and she wanted to clean up for him. This raises the issue Tony wanted to discuss, and she quickly grasps his point: how do they explains what they were doing alone out in the middle of nowhere at 2am together? The van loaded with cigarettes backs up into a garage, where Dante Greco and Corky DiGioia are waiting to take delivery. Christopher emerges, tired but excited from the success of their venture, they are guaranteed 20k a week in illicit cigarette sales after the deal he brokered on Tony's behalf. He lays out instructions for how the cartons are to be divided up and resold, then happily declares he's going to go home and get some sleep, then get Adriana to make him some carbonara. Mention of her name gets Corky and Dante exchanging uneasy glances, and he immediately picks up that something is wrong. They explain she's in a hospital out in Dover after a car crash at 2am, and as they provide him with more details he becomes more wary as he grasps that something isn't right. Why was she out in Dover? Why was she with Tony? Suspicious but needing to save face, he mumbles that she's got a sick aunt out there who is close to one of Tony's aunts. It's a bullshit story and they know it, and when he races off to get a ride out to the hospital, it's clear that both of them are commiserating but also gleefully enjoying the notion that Tony was banging Adriana while Christopher was out of town. Christopher picks her up and drives her home, she's still in the neck-brace and smoking, having not been able to have a cigarette while she was a patient. She's upset that Christopher isn't asking after her, just brooding, and angrily he snaps and demands an explanation for why she was out in Dover with Tony in the middle of the night. She complains that they were just talking as they drove and decided to get something to eat since she doesn't like going straight home after work. Christopher is livid though, he was out working to make money for her to shovel drugs and alcohol down her throat, and more importantly to him is how this looks. At this point it seems like he believes her at least that nothing happened, but is still angry at simply the perception others might have that she was cheating on him. He screams at her to shut up and say nothing, and she sits miserably beside him as he drives, fuming over how others think about him, not remotely concerned about how she feels physically or emotionally. In the back room of the Bada Bing, Tony is smoking a cigar and picking at the soles of his shoes with a cotton swab, removing poo poo he trod in. He very deliberately makes Christopher take it from him and put it in the trash (a not at all subtle "you have to take my poo poo" warning) before admitting that he'd be thinking the same thing as Christopher about this Adriana situation, but he has to believe him that nothing happened. Tony, of course, is making the same mistake he made in the past with the likes of Ralphie Cifaretto, where his desire to assert his authority is exactly the wrong move. By sitting like a king dispensing proclamations, pretending indifference at best and seeming to revel in his power at worst, he only builds resentment from Christopher. Even worse, he comments about how Adriana is far and away out of Christopher's league, that he should have married her 2 years ago and how since he is average at best, he needs to learn to live with Adriana's beauty or be a paranoid rear end in a top hat the rest of his life. Christopher is mad, complaining that Tony is going through a midlife crisis and loving anything that moves (or not, he'd gently caress a catcher's mitt, Christopher complains) so how can he ask him to believe he wasn't going to go after Adriana. Pissed, Tony offers up a vow on his very children that there is nothing going on between him and Adriana. But again, his smug demeanor is completely at odds with his words, leaving Christopher to storm out of the room, unsatisfied but not able to bring himself to question the vow and, perversely, risk offending Tony.   What follows is a hilarious game of Telephone, as the word starts spreading through the mob about what happened. It begins with Dante chatting on the phone to Paulie, telling him that Adriana took a blow to the head. It passes from Paulie to Silvio to Bobby to Hesh to Uncle Junior to, most hilariously of all, Agent Sanseverino getting a call from Agent Ciccerone to gleefully gossip that Adriana went down on Tony. The story grows in the telling: Adriana gave Tony a blowjob; the paramedics found her with Tony's dick still in her mouth; Tony blew a load all over the sun visor as they crashed etc. This culminates in a poker game in the back of Satriale's where Hesh, Vito, Eugene and Patsy are laughing their asses off over the whole situation. Vito offers his alternate take on Adriana's story about him constantly calling her up while Christopher was in rehab, claiming that it was her calling him, and he was only a couple of inches away from loving her. Eugene cracks that this is still an inch longer than his dick and they erupt in laughter again, including Vito, which is when Christopher enters the room and they immediately make the mistake of clamming up. He asks what is so funny and they try to change the subject, which only makes him more suspicious. Vito tries to lighten the mood and misdirect by saying they were just talking about his dick. Hesh tries to deal Christopher in but he won't let it go, demanding Vito tell him the big joke, and when he won't he calls him a "parade float". Vito, who to be fair was trying not to insult Christopher, is furious, leaping to his feet and reminding him that he's a Captain now (long gone are the days of quietly standing around while Ralphie made fun of him) and he can't talk to him like that. Christopher, humiliated and angry, lashes out when Patsy tries to calm him down and hurls his sandwich at Vito, who has to be restrained by Hesh and Eugene as Christopher storms out. Patsy watches him go, stone-faced, perhaps thinking about how long he was up the road from the rehab place with Christopher's life in his hands. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvdtRfLkO_g It's all been funny up to this point, even if a little dark. This is where the laughter stops. Christopher returns home where Adriana is sitting on the couch drinking wine and watching TV. She starts to greet him and tell him there is a casserole in the oven when he suddenly grabs her by the throat - only just out of the brace - and squeezes tight, screaming at her that she's a loving lying bitch. It seems that after storming out of Satriale's he went to the Bada Bing, where Georgie told him that Adriana was sucking Tony's dick during the car accident, and even worse she was moaning his name while she was on the operating table! Shocked, bewildered, terrified, she has no idea what he is talking about and he screams at her again not to lie to him, releasing her throat so he can demand to know what she was going in Dover. He's savagely satisfied at her lack of an answer, considering it proof of her guilt, accusing her of going out there to score coke since he finally remembered she knew a dealer out there. She admits this is true, but she was NOT sucking anybody's cock, and now she becomes angry when he taunts her for trying to claim they were just going to snort some lines and then go birdwatching? Because she wanted to stay wired enough to stay awake and clean the house for him, but he doesn't want to hear an actual answer for her, he just wants to be mad. As he screams at her, physically holding her down before pulling away to flip the coffee table, that deeply buried little justification he has been searching for comes out. In among the accusations of infidelity and lying out pops a telling line,"You WANT me to use, you bitch!" There it is. His rage is real, his hurt is real, but what is really at the heart of this is that he wants any excuse he can find to break his sobriety, any other person he can point to as the reason why he started drinking and doing drugs again. When she sobs that she loves him, he back-hands her right across her already bruised face and slams her into the wall, then punches her in the face before hauling her across the room by the hair and tossing her out into the hall, shouting that he never wants to see her again. He immediately rushes to her purse, looking through it for drugs, but there are none, so he grabs a bottle of vodka out of the freezer and knocks it back, gulping down the alcohol. Tony has brought pizza home for him and AJ, who is watching UFC on the television. This irritates Tony, he's supposed to be studying for an algebra test, and gets angrier when a bored AJ grunts that he should give him a break, he already studied for 45 minutes. Tony is distracted by a knocking at the door, it's Tony B, and it quickly becomes apparent he needs to talk in private. Tony sends AJ upstairs under protest, becoming more frustrated than ever at his son's surly behavior (just like Carmella warned him would happen when he was no longer the fun parent who brought him endless gifts). Blundetto's message is certainly bad enough, Christopher was apparently down at the Belleville Tavern all day hosed up on alcohol and loudly saying crazy things about Tony. This pisses off Tony, who earlier told Melfi it was different for men when it came to self-control, complaining that Christopher has none. He fumes as AJ starts playing drums upstairs instead of studying like he was told, but he can't concentrate on that now. Putting on his usual tough guy front he tells Blundetto that Christopher know where to find him if he wants to, but once his cousin goes to use the toilet he looks worriedly upstairs where AJ is, concerned about ccollateraldamage. Soon he is back at Carmela's, where he hands over an indifferent AJ to his mother, both parents pretending this is just an unexpected early weekend stay. But once AJ is upstairs she ignores Tony's complaints about AJ's attitude to accuse him of having come in himself instead of simply sending AJ in so he could figure out if she'd heard the disgusting stories about him and Adriana. She's livid, Tony's dick has hosed a lot of women who weren't his wife, but Adriana? Christopher's fiance? Carmela's friend? She's revolted by his lack of self-control, by the fact he's put their son in danger with his philandering, and she's got no time for his lovely attempts to justify bringing AJ over as somehow the act of a concerned parent with only his son's best interests in mind. She demands he leaves, she doesn't want to look at him, and drops the pizza box he gave her on the floor and stalks off. Furious, he leaves the house, then comes back in and grabs the pizza box, standing awkwardly in place before leaving with it, feeling impotent and powerless, wanting to defend himself/argue the point with her but knowing it will only make matters worse.   In the parking lot of the Bada Bing, a drunk Christopher arrives and spots Tony's car. He hurls the near empty bottle of vodka at it, then unloads his gun into it, yelling at the gun when it runs out of bullets, like it has betrayed him. Inside, Paulie, Tony B, Silvio and Tony sit playing cards and waiting for the inevitable showdown. Paulie thinks Christopher is probably passed out in a gutter and unlikely to show up, at which point Christopher bursts through the door waving a gun and screaming for Tony. Frankie Cortese and Corky DiGioia immediately jump him, having been set in place as security by Silvio for this eventuality, and Silvio grabs a megaphone and assures everybody everything is fine and they can all continue to enjoy the evening. They drive Christopher way out into the middle of nowhere to a deserted road flanked by large fields of uncut grass. Hauling him out, they force him to his knees in front of Tony who delivers a hard kick to him, furious at him for drawing a gun on the Boss of a Family. Christopher isn't letting that bullshit get in the way of his anger though, accusing Tony of lying to him (remember all that stuff about "on my children"?), he was out scoring coke with her, not going to get something to eat. So what? demands Tony, he can't relieve stress once in a while? Christopher in his drunken logic has now come to the conclusion that Tony sent him to North Carolina so he could gently caress her, and Tony blatantly lies that the thought of sex with Adriana never once entered his mind, what kind of animal does Christopher take him for? But Christopher won't let go of the simple fact that he was a man alone in a car with a beautiful woman in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, and he knows what that means. Driven beyond the point of tolerance, Tony - like Christopher's accusation that Adriana wanted him to use again - declares that it is Christopher who has driven him to this now fatal decision. Lifting Christopher's own gun, he presses it to Christopher's head... then pulls away, unable to bring himself to do it. Surprisingly, Paulie actually speaks up in Christopher's defense, noting that given how many bullets he blasted into Tony's car, he must have entered the Bada Bing knowing the gun he was waving in Tony's direction was empty. Christopher mistakes this for some kind of dig at him and tries to launch himself at Paulie, demanding to know what he is trying to say, and has to be physically restrained again. Tony considers, then kneels down across from his nephew and angrily pleads with him to look him in the eye and accept that he didn't do what he has been accused of, or this is as far as they go. When Christopher refuses to give him this, Tony is furious and actually offended, and prepares for the second time in 30 seconds to shoot his nephew. Tony B steps in though, trying to offer an alternative, and asks his cousin to just for once try it somebody else's way, he might have a solution to this that doesn't involve death.  At the hospital where Tony and Adriana were treated, the doctor who looked them over leaves after a long shift and is sidelined by Tony and Tony B, who ask him to come speak to their friend. It's 3am and he just finished a 17 hour rotation so he just wants to go home and get some sleep, but Tony B's cheerful,"Any gunshot wounds or broken kneecaps?" question makes it clear this is not an option. Settling into the car beside Christopher, the doctor is asked to explain that Adriana was not giving Tony oral sex before the car crash. Baffled, the doctor tries to talk but Tony shuts him up, and Christopher complains that he's clearly just going to lie to make Tony happy. This of course offends the doctor, who glares at Christopher and imperiously warns him that he does not lie about anything... but he also can't offer any medical opinion on whether oral sex was being given, he wasn't present at the scene, only at the hospital. But Tony B begs to differ, surprising the doctor with his medical knowledge when he asks if there were signs of abrasions to the lateral anterior aspect of the clavicle or the right mid-sternum? Sheepishly Tony B admits he's not a doctor but a massage therapist (almost), but his point stands and the doctor admits those abrasions were present. They're clear signs that Adriana was wearing her seatbelt at the time of the crash, which means she was upright, which means she was NOT giving Tony a blowjob. Tony offers the doctor cash, and when he doesn't take it he insists that he can donate it to Make-A-Wish for something. Offended, maintaining his dignity, the doctor simply leaves the car and walks away, happy to be alive and not wanting to push his luck further. Christopher, still surly, grumpily admits that he guesses he believes Tony. This relieves Tony, especially as the conversation now shifts to making amends to Vito, and he's happy to see Christopher's anger now directed towards Vito instead as he complains he was wrong to laugh at him. But Christopher still isn't satisfied, all of this doesn't change one thing: everybody else believes Adriana was sucking Tony's dick. Tony, for whom appearances are everything, snaps that Christopher shouldn't care what other people think when he knows the truth. But Christopher makes a valid point: he has to live in the world. Now everybody they know thinks less of him, think of him as a cuckold or too pathetic to have done anything about Tony moving on his woman. He leaves the car and walks away, and Tony stops Blundetto from chasing after him. He can understand Christopher's problem now that he's dealt with how it directly affected him personally, and he knows he needs time. In therapy, he considers the situation and proves just how hollow that milestone Melfi applauded him for really was. Considering all the problems that unfolded he might as well have hosed her. That's it, that's the lesson Tony took from this, that he might as well indulge in all of his desires since he might suffer negative consequences anyway if he doesn't. He offers a sarcastic "thanks" to Melfi, who doesn't comment, just sits and lets him simmer his way through his own attempts to figure out a solution to his problems. Perhaps that is for the best, a good lesson that banging Adriana was something that he should have never once considered doing in the first place.   Carmela is at home when Tony walks in the door, complaining that she didn't answer the doorbell. Still revolted with him, she doesn't want AJ going home with him, her own problems with their son less than the disgust she feels for Tony's latest indiscretion. Tony is pissed, asking if she really thinks he is that horrible, and she hits him with the very true point that his track record doesn't exactly give her reason not to: where there's smoke, there's fire. She asks him to think about how the kids would react to this, letting him know that Meadow already suspected he was coked up when she saw him at Crazy Horse, causing him to lie to her face while insisting he's being truthful this time when he claims he doesn't do drugs. But he discounts her using Meadow and AJ as excuses, saying this is really about what SHE believes. She agrees, maybe it is all about her, but does that mean nothing to him? Is he really happy to let her have to deal with these rumors and this gossip swirling all around her? The humiliation and betrayal that SHE feels? Tony keeps forcing the point though. He doesn't care what other people think, he cares what SHE thinks. Does she really think he'd have sex with Adriana (he loving wanted to!), does she really think he'd do that with somebody who is going to be a member of their family? She doesn't answer, but he can see she WANTS to say yes but some part of her is doubting. He pushes on, admitting he hasn't been a saint (and incapable of not throwing her in there too and claiming she hasn't either) but he wants her to answer him. She tries to rush off but he chases after, turning her back around (she wipes her arm where he touched her with visceral disgust, a beautiful touch) and demanding once again to know: does she really think he would go near Adriana like that? Tears fill her eyes and she breathes heavily, she desperately wants to throw a yes into his face out of pure spite, but she can't, because even now after all these years and all these betrayals some part of her wants to believe that there is a limit to even his depravity, some line he simply won't cross. Seeing this, even though she doesn't answer, he thanks her, satisfied that he has her tacit agreement at least. Now comes the favor, as having established that she believes he didn't sleep with Adriana, he wants her to come together with him publicly for the sake of the family. Her revulsion is palpable as she cuts him off to sneer that SHE has to bail him out? Revolted, she snaps at him that his bullshit is never-ending and turns and heads up the stairs. He's left behind, standing alone in the house, somehow even more pathetic here now than he was at the start of the episode when he ran into Meadow at Crazy Horse.   Adriana meets with Sanseverino, promising her that "most" of the severe bruises to her face came from the accident. In no mood for this as her life falls apart, she demands to know what the FBI wants now, and becomes furious when Sanseverino mentions using the "relationship" with Tony, snarling that there is no relationship. She immediately rejects the idea of giving permission for them to put a listening device in Crazy Horse even after she's warned they can simply get a court order and do it anyway. She's tired of dealing with them, tired of their bullshit, and she goes to leave the car until Sanseverino stops her with a warning that protecting abusers is a syndrome. Drawing herself up with pride, she declares that had it been Christopher (who absolutely 100% sleeps around on her) found in a car at night with another woman, she would have killed him. She leaves the car and strides away, her little protest leaving the FBI Agent more than a little concerned. At Vesuvio's that night, an absurd little pantomime plays out. Tony and Carmela Soprano enter the restaurant together with Tony and Quintina Blundetto... and also Christopher Moltisanti and Adriana La Cerva. They're all smiles as they take a table together, Tony pulling the chair out for Carmela to sit in. Eugene, Patsy, Vito and Paulie sit at one table eating, and notice their arrival. Elsewhere, Silvio and Gabriella are eating dinner together and also spot the scene. Menus are delivered and wine is poured, though not for Christopher who of course is sober and calmly places his hand over his glass to indicate he needs none. Vito makes the first move, telling the others he is going to go pay his respects. He walks to the table and greets Tony, casts respectful looks everybody's way, then pointedly turns to Christopher and tells him it is nice to see him. Christopher nods and offers his hand which Vito takes, viewed with satisfaction by the other mobsters around the restaurant. Thus peace is restored, the public display of unity a loud and blatant warning to all and sundry that there is nothing to the rumor about Tony and Adriana. Vito's approach has cemented this, for appearances sake all is now well and good. So Adriana sits there with a man who has physically beaten her on more than one occasion, timid but grateful to still have this abusive, violent junkie in her life. Tony sits with a wife who despises him but has put that aside once more for the sake of family. As the episode ends, Tony can't stop looking at her as she reads from the menu. She continues her act of the happy wife out for dinner, and for perhaps the first time Tony seems to fully grasp just what he has lost through his selfish, reckless indulgences. The one woman whose opinion he truly cares for, somebody who shows just how pathetic and empty not only his fantasy of marriage to Adriana was, but how pathetic and empty his own life has truly become.  This is the truth of that exciting, super-cool life of freedom that far too many people who watched this show were excited by: Tony Soprano isn't cool, he's a loving idiot who hosed up his entire life because he Season 5: Two Tonys | Rat Pack | Where's Johnny? | All Happy Families... | Irregular Around the Margins | Sentimental Education | In Camelot | Marco Polo | Unidentified Black Males | Cold Cuts | The Test Dream | Long Term Parking | All Due Respect Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | Season 6.1 | Season 6.2 Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 14:47 on Apr 23, 2020 |
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Oct 5, 2019 11:55
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I seriously thought Chris was gonna buy it in this episode, especially when they got to the cornfield or whatever it was, and that would be the catalyst for the crew's downfall once Ade learned about it and completely flipped, wired up or went into WPP. As usual, the show subverted my expectations but Chris coming at Tony with a loaded gun and shooting up his car? And hopping off the wagon? He seemed to have finally used up his second and third chances. I'm glad you recounted that the feds did, in fact, suggest wiring up the Crazy Horse because I was about to post it and ask. I had forgotten about it and was wondering why that single no brainer surveillance opportunity was never brought up. Turns out it had. Chris beating the gently caress out of an injured Adriana ranks up there with anything the show has ever done in terms of sheer brutality and reminded me to hate Christopher again. I'd say it's arguably worse or on the same level as the Lorraine hit we've been discussing. but that may just be me being more invested in the characters. Why were Tony and Ade so worried about admitting to go get some coke? Chris knows they both use and odd hours aren't unusual in the mafia/nightclub business. Or why not make up a story about the Dover guy owed some money or the other way around and Tony went along so she wouldn't be alone? If they had just admitted she wanted to pull an all nighter and wanted to score so Tony went along for protection it would have been an easy sell I think. Also, she had no loving CAR and that's easily provable. "She didn't have a ride, Chris and, plus, I didn't want her headed down there alone." "Her car was broke down so I offered a ride and she remembered this guy in Dover so..." Or even "she'd been drinking and wasn't in shape to drive. She owed him some money" or the other way around. GoutPatrol posted:Wow, it took me almost a month but I finally read through this entire thread. Big props to Jerusalem for their recaps because I have never felt that engrossed in a TV show...that I never really watched. Go watch this show now and do yourself a favor by not reading any more spoilers before you do.
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Oct 5, 2019 18:02
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Thanks for that, Jerusalem. I have got ahead a few episodes and there are some great ones this season. One of my favourite episodes is coming up where there's a lot of utterly insufferable Meadow. Subtle humour in the scene where Tony is denying having had sex with Adriana. When Christopher is calling Tony a "the biggest cooz-hound" etc., in the shot we see a picture behind his desk of a half naked lady bending over  I love that there are so many little things like this in the show. Sometimes it's hard to even tell if they were intentional.
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Oct 5, 2019 21:14
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Another incredible write-up for one of my all-time favorite episodes. This is the most fun I've had with these Sopranos episodes since they originally aired, despite numerous other re-watches. Thanks again Jerusalem.
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Oct 5, 2019 22:28
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Christopher was always my favorite character. I guess because his character was exactly the same age I was, while the show was originally airing. A dumb reason, I know. I remember after this episode, what he did to Ade, I almost didn't want to watch it anymore. I'd already come to terms with what shitbags all these characters are, and obviously I knew Chris was no angel, but this episode... ugh. e: Also, I already loathed Tony but the way he beats Georgie at the end of "Cold Cuts" and then immediately after that gleefully ruins Sunday dinner, and walks out with his poo poo-eating grin, made me long for his death. Even though that would have meant the end of the show. MrMojok fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Oct 6, 2019 |
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Oct 6, 2019 00:55
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BiggerBoat posted:Why were Tony and Ade so worried about admitting to go get some coke? Chris knows they both use and odd hours aren't unusual in the mafia/nightclub business. Or why not make up a story about the Dover guy owed some money or the other way around and Tony went along so she wouldn't be alone? If they had just admitted she wanted to pull an all nighter and wanted to score so Tony went along for protection it would have been an easy sell I think. Also, she had no loving CAR and that's easily provable. I think it is one of those situations where they decide a lie will cause less trouble than the truth, which of course almost always ends up just making them look more guilty/suspicious. Tony was clearly thinking,"If Christopher hears me and his fiance were out trying to score coke at 3am, he'll assume I was trying to gently caress her*" so decides to lie and say they were going out to get a meal while he was driving her home, which is still gonna sound off but at least more reasonable. Of course it all blows up in his face because of course people are going to speculate, and once Christopher figures out they lied about one thing he'll assume they lied about the other. Basically it's a typical human thing or trying to avoid confrontation/problems and just making them worse as a result. * He was totally trying to gently caress her.
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Oct 6, 2019 01:47
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I want to say again... it is amazing how often I read these and gain some insight from your posts. I watched all of these episodes as they aired live on Sundays, for years. I have rewatched all of them countless times since then. I bought the Sopranos Sessions book a while back, and I enjoy it, but your recaps are the best I have ever read, period. I am in the process of compiling them into a series of Word docs, and I like to read them before rewatching any episode now. It has enhanced my enjoyment of this series, which was already my favorite series of all time, immeasurably.
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Oct 6, 2019 02:21
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Thank you very much  Also I just want to point out again how much I love Tony B's casual, cheerful "Any gunshot wounds or broken kneecaps?" line. Like Eugene intimidating the juror or Bobby the union rep, it's a great example of how these guys threaten without ever explicitly threatening, but Blundetto does it so smoothly and non-aggressively that you can almost blink and miss it. I love these little reminders that pop up every so often about how before 15 years in prison he was a rising star with a scary reputation as an enforcer. Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 07:54 on Oct 6, 2019 |
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Oct 6, 2019 05:58
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Out of the 5 guys in the Christopher execution setup in the field are Tony B and the biker dude made? Are you allowed to kill a made guy with non-made guys around? Also talk about too many witnesses if Tony (S) is pulling the trigger.
Bip Roberts fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Oct 6, 2019 |
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Oct 6, 2019 06:40
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Bip Roberts posted:Out of the 5 guys in the Christopher execution setup in the field are Tony B and the biker dude made? Are you allowed to kill a made guy with non-made guys around? Also talk about too many witnesses if Tony (S) is pulling the trigger. They talk later about opening the books for Tony B, so no, he's not made. The bouncer at the club almost definitely isn't, but just an associate. They've both likely been in that situation before though so I doubt anybody saw it as a big deal. The only thing stopping you from killing a made guy is doing it without his boss' permission and when the boss is doing the killing, well...
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Oct 6, 2019 13:20
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crispix posted:Thanks for that, Jerusalem. I have got ahead a few episodes and there are some great ones this season. One of my favourite episodes is coming up where there's a lot of utterly insufferable Meadow. Handing someone a stick covered in dog poo poo is the ultimate powermove.
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Oct 6, 2019 13:33
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Dawgstar posted:They talk later about opening the books for Tony B, so no, he's not made. The bouncer at the club almost definitely isn't, but just an associate. They've both likely been in that situation before though so I doubt anybody saw it as a big deal. The only thing stopping you from killing a made guy is doing it without his boss' permission and when the boss is doing the killing, well... Even a Boss is supposed to get clearance of a sort, which is part of why Tony and Christopher had to cover up Ralphie's murder (and Tony openly lied to Christopher who pretended to believe him). It was different in this situation of course since Christopher had clearly crossed the line by coming in waving a gun at Tony and threatening to kill him, nobody would have disputed Tony's decision if he had pulled the trigger.
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Oct 7, 2019 00:15
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Jerusalem posted:but it is the two top captains of Johnny Sack's faction coming to visit the Boss of New Jersey while the Lupertazzis are in a war of succession: all seen by Adriana, who is working with the FBI. Joey isn't a captain or made. He's just an associate. Jerusalem posted:What follows is a hilarious game of Telephone, as the word starts spreading through the mob about what happened. It begins with Dante chatting on the phone to Paulie, telling him that Adriana took a blow to the head. It passes from Paulie to Silvio to Bobby to Hesh to Uncle Junior to, most hilariously of all, Agent Sanseverino getting a call from Agent Ciccerone to gleefully gossip that Adriana went down on Tony. The story grows in the telling: Adriana gave Tony a blowjob; the paramedics found her with Tony's dick still in her mouth; Tony blew a load all over the sun visor as they crashed etc. The fact that Junior of all people is part of this chain (and gets the best line!) makes it all the more hilarious. Jerusalem posted:Georgie told him that Adriana was sucking Tony's dick during the car accident, and even worse she was moaning his name while she was on the operating table! Oh Georgie........ you complete dumbass. One of the best episodes of the season imo. I especially like the pettiness of the Agents mocking the whole situation and how unaware or indifferent they are to the fact that their "in" to Tonys organization is potentially about to be killed over the issue. Anyway another great write up Jarusalem. If anyone can make future episode In Camelot interesting you can.
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Oct 7, 2019 01:57
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I actually really like In Camelot  banned from Starbucks posted:Joey isn't a captain or made. He's just an associate. Thanks, I had just kind of assumed he was a Captain since he's Johnny's driver (or was) but I guess I was just assuming based on Christopher's status with Tony.
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Oct 7, 2019 02:10
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banned from Starbucks posted:Oh Georgie........ you complete dumbass. Ironic that this wasn't the time misusing the telephone got him a savage beating from Tony
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Oct 7, 2019 10:45
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Killing made guys is just like any other "rule" the mafia has, it's just another political calculation. If you have the political capital to get away with it, that's all that matters.
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Oct 7, 2019 16:32
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banned from Starbucks posted:Joey isn't a captain or made. He's just an associate. Friend of a friend. Not a friend of ours.
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Oct 7, 2019 18:20
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A couple eps back but I just realized Feech literally gave Tony the idea to have him put away- “last time the parole officer made the unannounced visit... he gave him a massage!”
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Oct 7, 2019 19:16
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BiggerBoat posted:Chris beating the gently caress out of an injured Adriana ranks up there with anything the show has ever done in terms of sheer brutality and reminded me to hate Christopher again. I'd say it's arguably worse or on the same level as the Lorraine hit we've been discussing. Yeah, it's one of the reasons why I always thought Chris is one of the scummiest characters on the show. It's made all the worse because Adrianna is just so stupidly loyal to him and crawls back apologizing every time he hits her. I almost can't watch the part where nearly strangles her to death when he finds out she's working with the FBI.
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Oct 8, 2019 00:13
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Phenotype posted:Yeah, it's one of the reasons why I always thought Chris is one of the scummiest characters on the show. It's made all the worse because Adrianna is just so stupidly loyal to him and crawls back apologizing every time he hits her. I almost can't watch the part where nearly strangles her to death when he finds out she's working with the FBI. There were so many emotional gut punches in that episode. Basically one after another.
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Oct 8, 2019 03:27
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Phenotype posted:Yeah, it's one of the reasons why I always thought Chris is one of the scummiest characters on the show. It's made all the worse because Adrianna is just so stupidly loyal to him and crawls back apologizing every time he hits her. When Tony asks, “what’d he do that for?” after Christopher beats her up in The Strong Silent Type- only Carmela isn’t party to the normalization or justification of abuse, saying “what difference does it make, Tony?” Of course in Tony’s mind there exists some valid reason why he would do that. A mirror of Paulie asking if the dog was barking before he killed it. These people are living in another world and it’s the little things that make me realize it.
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Oct 8, 2019 16:20
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Jerusalem posted:Season 5, Episode 5 - Irregular Around The Margins If you watch closely, Tony actually reaches into his jacket to get the number, then decides to tell her that Christopher didn't give it to him instead. He continued to orchestrate a situation in which "he doesn't have a choice" and it wouldn't be his fault because "You only get one of those"
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Oct 8, 2019 16:36
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I hadn't picked up on that but you're absolutely right. Tony went in there that night consciously thinking he was going to restrain himself but subconsciously already doing everything he could to orchestrate a situation where he "couldn't" control himself and hosed her.
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Oct 9, 2019 02:17
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Season 5, Episode 6 - Sentimental EducationCarmela Soprano posted:Something in me has been reawakened. Tony Blundetto emerges from the back of a small business carrying two large sacks of dirty linen. Walking to the back of his truck, he prepares to throw them in when the small truck suddenly zooms off. Shocked but quick to react, he gives chase, a mean look on his face meaning bad news for whoever is driving... till he slips on the pavement and takes a tumble, skinning his leg badly in the process. He can only lay on the ground in pain watching as his employer's truck races off down the street, door open on the back and sacks of linen falling out. 15 years ago he was sent to jail for a hijacking, now he's the victim of one. Back at Mr. Kim's laundry, he limps to the time clock to punch his card for the day. Mr. Kim - a Korean - watches him suspiciously and asks "Blundino" why he is trying to gently caress him. Tony B is livid, showing off his hosed up leg and reminding him he just spent an hour with the cops giving a statement. If he REALLY wanted to rob Kim, he reminds his employer, he wouldn't have to put up with all the bullshit of working for him. Kim opens a draw and reveals the gun he keeps inside as a silent warning to the "professional criminal", enraging Blundetto further who lost his textbooks and flashcards for his massage therapy exam. Complaining about the prejudice towards ex-cons, he starts to leave, but stops to glare when Kim sneers that he would never have hired him or kept him hired if he didn't need to stay on Tony Soprano's good side to negate any Union concerns. It's an unfamiliar reminder that even this lovely, underpaid and overworked job would have been beyond him without help from his mobster cousin. At Tony's place, AJ comes slouching down to the kitchen and grunts under his breath when he sees Tony has eaten the last of the Raisin Bran. Tony, in a good mood as he reads the paper, admits he ate the last of it because he thought AJ liked the corn pops better, and offers him the rest of his bowl. But AJ isn't in a mood for solutions, he clearly just wants to bitch, so he complains about the lack of juice and complains about how "the girl" (as Tony puts it) can't follow the shopping list he writes, and complains about the idea of going to the supermarket to buy his own groceries even after Tony offers to reimburse him for whatever he buys. Tony, still in a good mood, jokes about how he has plenty of time since all he does is sit around at home practicing having a pissy face. The good mood disappears in an instant though when AJ snips that coming home drunk is what Tony does. Storming across the room he grabs AJ by the collar and hauls him out of the chair, demanding he repeat himself. AJ's initial fright turns to angry contempt as he demands Tony let go of him, and Tony goads him further, asking what will happen if he doesn't. He slams AJ against the wall as AJ bares his teeth and hisses that one of these days he'll kick Tony's rear end, who - darkly gleeful at the perceived challenge and the chance to lash out - asks him what's wrong with trying right now? He releases AJ and slaps his chest, demanding he take his shot, but AJ just mopes back to the table and settles at the table. Taking a bite of his cereal, he grunts out an,"Ugh" and Tony has had enough, grabbing the bowl from him and dumping it into the sink before taking a bite from his own bowl and with great satisfaction proclaiming that now AJ has nothing. Furious but unable/unwilling to step to his hulk of a father, AJ strides out of the kitchen with whatever injured dignity he can muster. Sadly, Tony's good mood is right back in full swing now... he thinks this was a good thing that he just did, a "common sense" application of "discipline" rather than physical abuse of a teenage boy half his size.  Meanwhile in the giant empty McMansion where she now lives alone, Carmella agonizes over what to wear for a meeting with Robert Wegler from AJ's school. Finally she settles on the perfect outfit for a mother meeting to discuss the educational future of her son: something with an absolute shitload of cleavage! Walking breast-forward into his office, she and Wegler greet each other warmly but quickly settle into a more serious and unpleasant topic. AJ's mid-term test has him still well below the C average he'll need to get into the Colleges they've discussed, and more troubling is that the second draft of an essay he wrote on Animal Farm is "suspiciously cogent". Carmella takes a second to grasp exactly what he is saying, but becomes alarmed when she realizes AJ's English teacher suspects he cheated on his essay. She defends AJ, saying he spent the better part of a Saturday in the library, and goes so far as to suggest that AJ is being unfairly targeted by Mr. Fiske because his father is in the "carting business". Wegler clearly doesn't put much stock in this idea, but smoothly avoids her suggestion she talk to Fiske on AJ's behalf by noting that continued efforts on AJ's past will be quick to demonstrate he really has got his act together like Carmella claims. Moving to a more pleasant topic, he admits that though he called her in for legitimate reasons he also - like her - spent over an hour picking out his wardrobe to impress (he isn't showing nearly as much cleavage). Apparently he has already asked her out to dinner once before and asks her again if she has given it anymore thought, and glowing like a schoolgirl she admits that she has thought of little else. It's a "friendly" invitation with just the right suggestion of perhaps something more, Wegler using discussion of Madame Bovary (whose author also wrote a book this episode's title comes from) as an excuse for the get together. He admits that part of what he finds so attractive about her is that she freely admits the book was over her head, saying that lack of pretension is refreshing (as I've noted before, Carmela frequently admits when she doesn't know something, often suffering immature barbs from her better educated daughter as a result). He asks her again to join him for dinner, and sheepishly she admits her other concern is a more practical one: how would Tony react. Here's where the (apparent) difference between Robert Wegler and Vic Musto and even Furio comes to light. With full awareness of Tony's "business", Wegler considers the threat and with a wry smile completely dismisses it. He's not afraid of Tony. He clearly thinks the notion of Tony breaking his legs is ridiculous and doesn't give it a second thought. Admitting it might be naive, he's still clearly unbothered, and that (along with his good looks, education and encouraging attitude) Carmela finds enormously attractive. She's been tempted by men before during her long marriage to Tony Soprano, but this is the first time she's found herself in a position where maybe she can actually freely pursue it. That in and of itself must be exhilarating AND liberating. The entire time you can see her trying to restrain her smile, to keep herself controlled... but by the end, something is breaking through... something beautiful but terrifying in it's enormity: hope.  Sunday dinner is being held at Bobby Baccalieri's this week, where Christopher and Adriana have joined Barbara, Tom and their kids along with Bobby Jr and Sophia. As everybody laughs around the table about an adult joke that Bobby Jr doesn't get, a new face is seen collecting a plate and taking it out of the dining room. This is Gwen MacIntyre, the current girlfriend of Tony Blundetto, who has come for dinner but retreated to the lounge to continue to study intensely for his upcoming massage therapist exam. She's brought him some of Janice's lasagna, which she admits isn't great (so not from Vesuvio's then) but he needs food. As he prepares to eat, Christopher and Adriana pop in to say their goodbyes, Christopher being a bit of a douche as he laughs about the way Tony B and Gwen met while he was in prison (via an Internet dating service). But surprisingly, Christopher - who is back on the wagon - offers rock-solid advice after spotting just how deeply complex the textbooks are. Tony had made out to him like it was a glorified gym test, and when Tony B complains that he's really doing roughly two years of Medical School, Christopher offers that Tony's mockery is more about making himself feel better than any actual attack on Blundetto. Slapping his cousin on the back as a surprised but pleased Adriana looks on, Christopher tells Blundetto that HE has to define himself, and offers him the encouragement to keep his eye on the tiger. They leave, and Tony B gets back to hitting the books. Carmela is having a less intimate dinner than the one she has planned for later in the week, eating at Vesuvio's with Father Intintola as they plan out another charity drive. Father Phil of course is as warm and friendly as ever... until he asks her what is going on in her life and his face falls when she gleefully admits she has met somebody. It's not jealousy despite his own near-disastrous encounter with her back in season 1, but full-on Catholic moralizing that she probably should have seen coming. As she gushes about the excitement she is feeling, the thrill of having met a man who values and appreciates her, his face becomes stony and his silence speaks volumes. Admitting she initially thought Wegler was gay (and hilariously likening him to Intintola), she speaks openly about her conflicting feelings when he admitted his attraction for her. She feels the same attraction but she also knows it is "wrong", and it is clear she is using Father Phil both as a sounding board but also looking for some kind of guidance. What she gets is not what she expected, as his formality rises and he coolly suggests that if she really wants to talk about this they need to involve Tony. Her face falls, recognizing his hostility, irritated by his smugness as he looks down at her for even considering breaking her commitment to marriage. He ignores her complaint about how Tony has done far more than consider on his end, and says it isn't God who put Wegler in her sights but her own unfulfilled lust. When Carmella quite rightly points out that God is the person who gave human these needs, Father Phil ignores it to summon a waiter and imperiously direct him to add more pepper to his meal. Carmella goes back to eating her meal, grumpy and alienated by his reaction and the unfairness of it all. It's all been standard fare for a Sopranos episode so far (standard fare for The Sopranos is basically a high watermark for most other television) but there is where things take a sudden and surprising turn. Because roughly 10 minutes into the episode.... suddenly everything starts going right and people start to be, believe it or not, genuinely happy. Early in the morning at Kim's Southside Laundry (5:15am), Tony B is making up new flashcards to replace the stolen ones when Mr. Kim himself shows up and summons him to his office. He admits the cops caught the kids who stole the truck and they admitted it was a joyride, and he now suspects his cousin on the North Side might be behind it. Blundetto is grumpy that he was even considered suspicious in the first place, and is wary when Kim takes an interest in his study. But like Christopher earlier, Kim surprises him when he suddenly starts handing out compliments. He assumed Blundetto would be a time-waster foisted on him as a favor to Tony Soprano. Instead he's a hard worker, he studies, he tries to better himself and make a better life for him and his family.... why he's just like a Korean! Kim proudly talks about how he came to American with nothing and built up his own (small) business empire, and then makes a shocking offer: he'll stake Blundetto in the setting up of his own massage parlor. He has a travel agency in a mall in West Caldwell with a three year lease that is making him no money, and a daughter who was interested in physical therapy but couldn't deal with crippled people every day so now sits at home doing nothing. It's in Kim's own interest to find his daughter a job and a use for his storefront, and here is Tony B studying hard to be a licensed masseuse: together the three of them could partner up and help each other to achieve their goals. Blundetto, in shocked disbelief, can only shake Kim's hand and offer him heartfelt thanks. For the first time since leaving jail, he is feeling that same beautiful but terrifying emotion as Carmela: hope.   Later that day, Tony and AJ are at Carmela's for an important family meeting: Tony and AJ have decided that AJ is going to move back in with her provided she gives her approval. The thing is.... Carmela really isn't interested in giving that. She doesn't see why the two of them can't simply work this out between themselves, why does she need to pick up the pieces for them? They complain about each other, Tony belittling AJ for not liking the cereal he gets, AJ accusing him of physical abuse and claiming he could call social services. If he thinks that'll put Tony on the defensive he is wrong, as Tony dismisses the idea with contempt. Carmela tries to restrain her satisfaction at seeing them turning on each other instead of against her for a change, but when she starts to talk about how now maybe Tony can see things from her perspective, she's disappointed once again when it turns out what really bothers him is that any son of his would even consider going to the authorities to resolve something. Both Tony and AJ are determined that AJ will be back living with Carmela again and keep trying to make it a fait accompli despite her lack of acceptance so far. Meadow is visiting to do laundry and is amused to see all the family drama unfold, knowing she is largely free and clear from it now. After Meadow leaves, AJ finally shifts from trying to dictate terms to bargaining: all he wants is to have his old room back. Carmela doesn't let him off the hook though, it isn't often you get your truculent teenage son over a barrel like this. She reminds him that moving in with Tony was his desire, his decision, he should live with that choice. She reminds him that not so long ago SHE was the one he apparently couldn't stand to live with, who made him miserable, and neither she nor Tony will let him pretend like he didn't. Finally she capitulates though, because at heart she's still a mother who wants her son close to her. Tony is quick to back her as she states that taking AJ back will mean some firmly established ground rules, telling a suspicious AJ to be quiet and let his mother talk: now that Tony has a vested interest in getting rid of AJ, he's all about backing her 100%. The rules are school comes first even over his social life, including Devin and even telephone calls. There will be no more cursing, he will treat her with respect, AND he must allow her to involve herself in his life even if only a little bit. Seeing that she'll brook no disagreement and knowing his position is weak, he agrees, and Tony tells him to go get his stuff from the car: they came over with no intention of AJ going back it seems. Left alone together, Carmela immediately leaves to start taking stuff out of the fridge for dinner. Tony follows her and awkwardly stands around, a lost child, struggling to find an avenue of discussion before finally settling on pretending like they were just a cohesive unit working in one-mind towards a common goal. He compliments them both for how they just handled AJ, and talks himself up for how he really whipped AJ into shape with the time he spent there. Carmela doesn't bother answering, doesn't pay him any attention, their business is done and now she has no interest in engaging further with him. Getting the message, Tony ambles away trying to pretend it was by choice and not after being deservedly frozen out. At Satriale's, Vito is helping Tony B with his studying, reading questions from his flash cards as Blundetto struggles to remember the answers. He's tired and frustrated, forgetting simple things, not helped by Paulie and Christopher showing up and Paulie immediately breaking some balls. But again, Christopher is offering surprisingly solid advice and encouragement, and is supportive when he hears about Kim offering to back Blundetto in opening a massage parlor. Paulie asks why he didn't come to him for money if he needed it but Blundetto explains the difference, how self-owned business is like a religion for Koreans, and notes that in many ways getting out of prison is not so different from the immigrant experience. Once more, Christopher offers silent encouragement, while Paulie offers a sage warning about the KOREAN Sungyon Kim.... remember Pearl Harbor! Oh Paulie.  Carmela has taken up Wegler on his dinner offer and it has gone phenomenally well, to the point that they have belatedly realized they were the last two people in the restaurant and the staff "subtly" let them know they needed to gently caress off so they could go home. It was one of those magical nights where the conversation flowed freely and without thought, the two caught up entirely in each other to the point where the rest of the world just faded away. He escorts her back to his car and opens the door for her, where she feels a moment of self-consciousness at last as she starts to realize just where this lovely evening might be heading. She flinches slightly when he leans towards her from the driver's side, both of them laughing when she realizes he was just grabbing something from the back seat. It's a first edition of Madame Bovary (the modern library's first edition) and she thanks him genuinely for the sweet gesture, but admits that she has struggled not just with the content of the book but how slow it moves. With the passion of a true bibliophile, he talks up the wonderful internal world of Madame Bovary and asks her to try it again, and she agrees. But as she struggles between her desire and her nervousness, he simply devours her with his eyes. She explains how strange this is for her, how long it has been since she was alone in a car with a man feeling like a teenager. But while Wegler is a man who loves words, he also knows when enough is enough, and he quiets her by kissing her, and she reciprocates hungrily until pulling away and warning him that all of this is new to her. "You're a virgin? It's my lucky night!" he jokes, causing her to laugh, but she's still serious: she has been married for a long time and was together with Tony for quite some time before then. This is the first man aside from him she has kissed in over two decades and it's all strange and unfamiliar (if desirable) territory for her. But she doesn't dispute that she wants it, and soon they're all over each other again, from the car to his home to the couch, stripping their clothes, indulging their desires. For Wegler it is passion, for Carmela it is liberation, as she "cheats" on her husband and enjoys the pleasure of another man after 20+ years of having to put up with Tony's many, many infidelities. Good for her. Post-coitus, she lies in bed beside this man who isn't her husband, caught between satisfaction and guilt. Checking he is asleep, she slips out of his arms and walks naked to the bathroom, watched by him as he too tries to hide his own insecurities: did she enjoy it? Does she regret it? Was he a good lover? Is this the start of something serious or just a fling etc? In the bathroom, she sits on the toilet and notices a book he keeps in there: The Letters of Abelard and Heloise. Leafing through it, she notices many highlighted passages and footnotes he has made. Washing her hands, she stops to look at herself in the bathroom mirror, at a woman who has "betrayed" her vow of marriage and had sex with another man.... and she smiles in genuine happiness.  Hell yes, Carmela. Back in bed with Wegler, who has been waiting nervously for her return, they embrace again and she asks him about the book. With that same passion as he spoke of Madame Bovary, he explains the basic story of Abelard and Eloise, of how their passion continued through their lives despite his castration and their respective "exile" into religious orders. He speaks sincerely of his belief that education should never stop, that it enriches all aspects of life, and she agrees whole-heartedly, saying it is one of her big concerns about AJ. College could be a place where he gets a fresh start, but she worries he won't get the chance. Wegler gives her a kiss and assures her AJ will get that chance, but offers no specifics beyond the fact that all the students of their High School have so far gone on to higher education. She returns home late at night, for once the one who has to sneak her way into the bedroom worrying about being caught out. AJ of course is wrapped up on the phone or online and hasn't even noticed she wasn't there, and she crawls into bed where she spots a photo of Tony and AJ from a fishing trip. Father and son standing together happy and fulfilled, and she stares at Tony's smiling face with a troubled look on her own. Is she feeling guilt in spite of his own constant cheating? Perhaps, but if so it is filtered through fear/disgust of her husband, as she slips back downstairs and goes into the hollow pillar where they keep the assault rifle. Pulling out a handgun, she takes it back upstairs and slips it under the pillow before going to sleep. Whether it is guilt or fear or paranoia, the root cause is the same: Tony Soprano still weighs heavily on her mind and in her life even if she has made the intellectual choice to move on from him. On another day, Tony B sits at a computer and takes the multi-choice test for his massage license. Nervous, second-guessing himself, he clicks away at what he thinks are the right answers and then joins Gwen for an agonizing wait to see if he passed or failed. A woman finally emerges with a clipboard and with clear disinterest tells him she is under no obligation to tell him how he scored, simply that he met or exceeded the threshold required to hold a license. She walks away and he stares after her confused, until a gasping Gwen explains to him what this means: he passed. For the woman it was simply one of 1000 menial tasks she has to perform in a day, but for Blundetto it is the culmination of years of work. Gwen hugs him and holding back tears he tells her couldn't have done it alone. She won't have that though, insisting he accept the fact that he achieved this. HE did. HE succeeded. He accepts this gratefully, his hard work has paid off and he is being acknowledged for all the stress and heavy lifting he put himself through. Today is a good day. Carmela however is not having such a good day... or rather, she is and she's feeling guilty about it. Going to Confession, there is no doubting from Father Phil who is on the other side of the booth as she explains that she slept with Wegler after all. Carmela talks about how intellectually she knows that sleeping with another man while she is still technically married is a sin, that it is wrong and she SHOULD feel guilty... but she has been walking around on a cloud all day and just feels absolutely fantastic. Intintola gives her no quarter though, which isn't a great surprise considering he is a Catholic Priest after all, and he lectures her on the sacredness of her vow and refuses to absolve her of the sin since she's already said she is considering going back to Wegler for more. With frustrating condescension he tells her she's only interested in Wegler because he takes her out, fulfills physical needs and makes her laugh (what a terrible basis for a relationship!) but asks her if she really thinks he's going to be there with her into old age to support her going to the bathroom or to help her walk? That at least she kicks back on, forgetting the so-called moral authority of his uniform to sarcastically (and a little angrily, bless her) if he really thinks Tony would do any of that himself? Father Phil won't be drawn into that though, holding her to a higher standard (and tacitly if unintentionally endorsing Tony's freedom to cheat as much as he wants) and telling her that her penance will be to do something nice to Tony. She can't bring herself to do that though, so instead he tells her to pray for him and hope that God touches her heart as well as his. With that he closes the panel and walks out, leaving her bewildered and lost. For 20+ years she suffered Tony's poo poo and the Church was her bedrock of moral support (and to be fair, superiority), and now she has for once put her physical needs first and essentially been slapped in the face and judged harshly for something her deadbeat husband has been almost openly doing their entire marriage.   While Carmela is torn between happiness and guilt, Tony B is feeling nothing but joy. He and Tony walk through the empty shell of the former travel agency smoking cigars as he eagerly lays out his plans for the massage parlor. Tony makes a racist joke about the dog groomer's being a great place for Kim to stop in for lunch, but Tony B won't be distracted from enthusiastically going over his plans. Tony congratulates him and Blundetto admits that he knows this wasn't what Tony had in mind for him when he got out of prison, apologizing for upending his plans by going civilian. Tony, slightly offended by the suggestion he'd put his own happiness ahead of his cousin's (he would), doesn't answer, but cheers up when Blundetto points out where he will put a merchandise rack so customers can buy $30 hand cream, enjoying that even legit businesses are looking to gouge their customers. Learning that Blundetto plans to put in a koi fountain, he assures him that HE will provide the koi, insisting in fact. Amanda Kim shows up to pick up the keys from Blundetto, and Tony immediately takes an interest. Clearly the product of an American upbringing, Amanda is extremely attractive and clearly a bit of a party girl, just the kind of girl a fat balding middle aged married man feels would be sexually interested in him. Christopher comes through another door blurting out his own version of the dog groomer joke, stopping awkwardly to look around after spotting Amanda and realizing how badly timed his joke was. Blundetto introduces Amanda, who tells him that she met a guy at a club who can hook them up with ginseng, fake rhino horn, nerve tea and "all that herbal poo poo". She says her goodbyes and leaves, all of them openly staring at her rear end as she goes, and once she is safely out the door Tony asks if she is there for "happy endings". He explains she is Kim's daughter and will simply be doing the books, and Christopher eagerly asks if he can introduce them properly so he can get some of that "kung pao coochie". Yeah Father Phil, Carmela is the one who needs God to touch her heart.
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Oct 12, 2019 10:02
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Luckily for Carmela, she has found a far more sympathetic ear. Having filled in Rosalie on all the details of her tryst with Wegler, Rosalie is delighted for her and credits her glow to the obviously very good sex she is finally getting to have. But is she being discreet? Carmela admits that half the fun is getting to sneak around, and can only grin ear to ear when Rosalie asks how the sex was. All she'll offer is that Wegler "took his time" but Rosalie wants more than that, happily insisting on details. Carmela is saved by AJ's arrival from school, complaining bitterly about Mr. Wegler putting his "faggy hand" on his shoulder and telling him to do his best today. Carmela, obviously touched by Wegler taking an interest in her son, notes that Wegler's job is to get AJ into college. AJ counters that maybe he's just a big homo, and Carmela is in far too good a mood and just happily nods and says hey maybe he is! She tells him to go upstairs and start his assignments and she'll call him down for dinner, and he asks if he can watch television first, promising he will work later if she helps him out. She of course is happy to accept, and Rosalie watches this charming mother-son interaction happily... until AJ is gone and she breaks down crying. She of course can only think of her Jackie, dead now and the "chinks" who killed him never found. Carmela hugs her, and of course her own fears for AJ are tied up in Jackie's fate: she wants her son in college because Jackie dropped out and didn't take an interest and look what happened to him. Just a note, Jackie Jr was killed in a predominantly black neighborhood and it makes a lot more sense for Rosalie to have used the "jigs" slur here. I've written "chinks" because that is what the official subtitles say she said, but I'm pretty sure they're wrong. Tony B and Gwen walk down the street, arms around their shoulders, Blundetto offering a sympathetic ear as she unloads about her rear end in a top hat boss at work today. She reminds him to be nicer to his employees when he is the boss and he has to take a moment to let that really settle in: yes, HE will be the boss. The sound of screeching tires gets his attention and he carefully puts Gwen behind him as a car comes skidding around the corner and weaves madly down the street, a bag thrown from the window into the overgrowth as it peels away. Sirens can be heard in the background but they grow no closer, and Blundetto and Gwen rush over to the bag to see what was thrown away, Gwen horrified it could be a fetus. It's certainly not that, inside are stacks of cash and vials of drugs, and Blundetto realizes that they mistook the sirens for being chased and so took off while dumping the evidence. Gwen is alarmed, with his parole he can't have drugs on him, so he quickly throws them off into the bushes but holds onto the bag of cash. They take off down the street and around the corner, adrenaline pumping as they look through the bag and estimate there must be over 10k inside. Gwen declares him doubly blessed and he agrees, first Kim backs him and now this windfall of cash? Making a sudden leap he declares he is going to buy her a ring, and she is touched by the sweetness of the gesture but insists he put it towards the business instead. Thanking her for showing him that he needs to adjust his thinking, he kisses her, as everything continues to go shockingly his way. Today is a good day.   Carmela sits up in AJ's room going over the Cliffs Notes on Lord of the Flies, which is the essay whose mark will most strongly influence his final grade. As she tries to figure out what Piggy's eyeglasses represents in the book, she realizes that AJ has fallen asleep and demands he wake up and finish the paper, she isn't going to write it for him. Meanwhile, Tony B is enjoying the high life for a change as he goes out to celebrate his good fortune with Tony and his crew. Vito, Patsy, Eugene, Christopher, Paulie, Silvio and Tony himself sit at the table drinking and smoking, topless strippers by their sides, joking about the money and whether he found the bag in the overgrowth or on some old lady's arm. Tony B forks over a hundred to the waitress who brings them a bottle of Cristal and tells her to keep it coming, and Silvio announces that from now on anytime somebody steps in a pile of poo poo (good luck around horses, remember?) it will be called a "Blundetto". They all raise their glasses in a toast to this idea, enjoying life and good fortune. Today is a good day. Carmela of course goes out to dinner with Wegler again, giggling as she screws up feeding him a spoonful of her desert. Back at home she holds a thick, solid cucumber in her hand and stares dreamily out the window as she thinks of him, not noticing Tony enter the house and standing in the doorway watching her. Gasping when she realizes he is there. He's brought over something of AJ's he found at his place, an essay with an A+ grade on it.... that he didn't write. Carmela is horrified while Tony seems oddly proud that AJ has either paid or convinced somebody to give him an old copy of an essay he can hand in as his own. Tony goes through the fridge to grab himself some food, confused when he sees some duck among the leftovers since she doesn't normally eat that, not knowing of course it's leftover from the restaurant she ate at with Wegler before they went home and hosed each other's brains out. The phone rings and she answers, alarmed that it is Wegler on the other end being seductive after presumably getting in the mood while reading Cold Mountain. She is polite but distant, making a point of calling him "Mr. Wegler" and explaining now is not a good time as he explains his plans for them to go eat dinner at a little crab place by the shore and then go night swimming. She thanks him and hangs up, and Tony - eating the leftover duck from her meal with Wegler - asks what "that fag" wanted. Pissed, she asks him why everybody is a "fag" to him and asks if maybe he is one himself, and he says he simply knows one when he sees one, and sucking cock is usually a pretty good indicator. "How do you know who sucks whose cock? What, d'you got a little secret?" she jabs at him, complaining that he makes far too big a deal about gay people. Tony reminds her that she often told him homosexuals would go to hell along with abortion doctors and child molesters, but she is more alarmed by the fact that he's out of nowhere stripping down and putting on swimming trunks. She demands to know what he's doing, and as if it is the most natural thing in the world he says he's going for a swim. Leaving his clothes in a pile of the kitchen floor he heads outside and dives into the water, nothing but an intrustive and unwelcome presence in the home and a reminder of the marriage she now wants out of to pursue the excitement of this new, intellectually and physically stimulating relationship with Wegler.   At the Mohunk Casino, Tony B has joined Eugene, Patsy, Paulie and Vito for Blackjack. Wearing a shiny new suit that Paulie is impressed by, Blundetto brags he had to buy it to match his new shoes, which were custom-made at Vasily's. They're having a good time, though the dealer has just beaten them all by drawing 20, and Christopher pops by to let them know he took a beating at Craps, asking how they're doing. Paulie openly declares that "Pocahantas" is "scalping us" as he points at the female blackjack dealer, who smiles professionally at the "joke". Apparently Wegler and Carmela have finishing their nightswim, as they make out on his bed on a stormy night. But as Wegler's passions grow, Carmela's concern grows to match it. She simply can't take her mind off of AJ and the paper he bought to cheat on his essay. Wegler, whose mind is really on other matters at the moments, says it's a pretty common thing for desperate students to pull and the important thing is that she took a stand and told him it was wrong. But she insists that AJ's issue has never been about doing the work, just about doing it well. Wegler has sense enough to remind her that he got kicked out of Verbum Dei for stealing the answers to a test but without a hint of self-awareness she claims that was simply an intended case of vandalism that accidentally turned into theft due to the bad influence of another boy! In any case, Wegler assures her things can still work out, he was a late bloomer himself but Union College took a chance on him and things worked out great. But Carmela has a different theory, she thinks that AJ was DRIVEN to cheating by Mr. Fiske, who put too much pressure on her poor darling son until he snapped. He promises her she's worrying for nothing and manages to slide her back onto the mattress where they make out some more and she eagerly reciprocates... until she can't. She pulls away, telling him she just can't right now, she's too upset. Leaping up, she pulls on her raincoat and declares she is a terrible mother for putting her own needs first... and anyway by the laws of the Church ("THE CHURCH!?!" he guffaws) she is still married. She apologizes again, she simply can't do it, and rushes out the door into the rain. He stumbles after her trying to call her back, bewildered by the sudden shift in mood, and watches as she drives away through the rain leaving him confused and more than a little sexually frustrated. Early in the morning, Paulie's car pulls up outside Kim's Southside Laundry and they let Tony B out so he can make his early shift, despite having stayed up the entire night gambling and drinking. He thanks them for a great night and they ask if he is sure he doesn't want to join them for breakfast, but he simply can't make the time work. Paulie, always far too eager to rub people's noses in his own good fortune, declares he's going to binge on breakfast and then sleep for the next 14 hours. They drive away, leaving the exhausted Tony B to go to work. Last night was a good night, but will today be a good day? Later that day, Wegler makes his own desperate play. With the school day over, he visits Mr. Fiske in his classroom where he is grading papers to ask him how AJ's latest essay is looking, since he has a vested interest as his college advisor. Fiske is unsurprised that he has once again handed in a solid below average essay, noting it's 10% insight and 90% Cliff notes, and not worthy of a C. Wegler plays up his authority, saying he's the Dean of College Admissions AND head of Fiske's Department, and he knows for a fact that anything less than a C on this essay will ruin any remote chance AJ had of getting into Arizona State.... the kid is trying his hardest, doesn't that deserve something. Perhaps betraying at least a minor element of Carmela's suspicion Fiske has it out for AJ, Fiske replies simply that the world needs ditch diggers too, giving Wegler the chance he needs to be disgusted. What difference does it make if they push him from a D+ to a C-? He wants him to cut the kid a break. Feeling cornered, Fiske agrees, but as Wegler leaves he calls out to ask what message this sends a kid who works hard if "Fredo Corleone" can get a C because Wegler asked for one. Taking the chance to be morally revolted to hide his own shame, Wegler glares imperiously back at him and asks if THIS is why Fiske was insistent on him having a D? Because of his background? Fiske, who is clearly at least a little bit of an rear end in a top hat (but probably not quite to the extent Carmela believes or Wegler has convinced himself he is), looks taken aback by the accusation.   Blundetto finishes a long day at Kim's and tells him he's heading over to work some more on the parlor. Kim is pleased to hear that, giving him a way to go he's almost too tired to acknowledge before heading away. Plenty of work has been done though, he's already cleared out the bulk of the space and just needs to clear out an ugly interior half-wall before he can start arranging the parlor as he intends. His twin boys have joined him for the night, busily opening up new Gameboy Advances he bought them with his cash windfall as he explains his intentions for the place. They're distracted but agree that this place is "nice" and that "sure" it would be nice to one day work with their old man here as a Summer job or something. He's pleased but can tell they're not really paying attention, so he tells them to put the Gameboys away for now and do some homework before he takes them back to their mother's. It seems he also bought them scooters and their mother wants him to buy helmets for them before they can ride them, so he promises they'll stop off at a store on the way back. He sets them up on the floor to work and then pulls out a sledgehammer to go to work on the half-wall. Now THIS gets Jason and Justin's attention, their eyes wide as they watch their dad smashing poo poo with a hammer. Picking up on their interest he calls them over, forgetting about the homework for the moment so they can bond over destruction as he shows them how to work the sledgehammer. He's exhausted, but he's flush with cash and working towards his own business: even if he can't just take a day off to sleep like the others in Tony's crew, today is a good day. Carmela arrives at Wegler's where she is all over him immediately, dragging him immediately to the couch to start making out. A while later (he takes his time, remember?) they lay on the bed side by side, sweaty and satisfied, and make small talk about painting the ceiling. Carmela thinks blue would be nice, like the Caribbean, but almost immediately launches into discussing AJ's future, asking him if Union College who accepted him would be a good place for AJ to go to? A little surprised, he says it could be, and like she once did with Jeannie Cusamano's twin sister she suggests he maybe could talk to them and tell them AJ is a lot like he was as a teen and remind them they took a chance on him. Non-committal and eager to change the subject he asks if she has ever been to the Caribbean and she says yes once years ago in Barbados before immediately jumping right back to AJ, maybe Wegler could tell Union College that AJ has ADD and that is why he has struggled before this! Wegler gets up to use the bathroom, and she sits up and eats one of the chocolates at his bedside table, immediately guessing that Patty D'Amico probably supplied them for a Faculty Lunch. But when she looks up as he returns to the bedroom in a robe, she can immediately tell there is something wrong, and hears the disastrous words everybody in a relationship fears: "Maybe we should take a timeout?" Disgusted with himself, Wegler complains that he can't stop thinking about putting pressure on Tom Fiske to push AJ up to a C-, and it makes him want to poke his eyes out with a knitting needle. Astonishingly, Carmela doesn't question that, but rather what that has to do with THEM? Settling on the bed with a thousand yard stare, he says that they just can't be together anymore like this, and then to her great shock declares that he thinks she may be a user. She saw an opportunity with him and took it to get what she needed: a C- for AJ to keep his chances of college alive. She is horrified at the suggestion, but not as horrified as he is when she asks how asking somebody you are with for help could be using them, after all that is what people do. He doesn't say it out loud but the inference is obvious: people shouldn't look at others as a means to an end. Perhaps that is an unfair interpretation of her meaning, but Wegler seems to believe it. He's hardly without blame himself of course, notice how he didn't have this moment of clarity till AFTER they slept together again. Plus even if he was right, what he says next puts him firmly into the "giant piece of poo poo" column, as he declares that she strong-armed him using the only weapon she has: her pussy. Revolted by his comment as well as his refusal to back down from it, she hurriedly dresses, accidentally breaking a lamp in the process. Wegler again does himself no favors by telling her to calm down, and she doesn't cover herself in glory when she warns him to "watch his step" as she leaves, an implied threat that he'd have probably rolled his eyes at even if she and Tony were still together.  Reflecting back on this scene is fun, because it is very easy to see fault on both sides and points on both sides. Did Carmela use sex to get what she wanted? Well... yeah she did. Did she do it consciously? Probably not, but she's also come from a toxic masculine environment where sex is one of a woman's few tools to achieve her aims. But she also genuinely cared about Wegler, found him interesting and funny and inspiring and loving. The two were not mutually exclusive, she didn't go into the relationship with plans to use it to get AJ into college... but she did see zero issue once they were together with exploiting that relationship to its hilt. And look at how quickly she reverts to type when things go sour and she immediately leaps to the implied threat of violence. She's playing off her husband's reputation after years of being miserable/disgusted by men who were afraid of him. Just like she still lives in that big McMansion and accepts her "allowance" from him, she doesn't want to let go of all the benefits and privileges that come with being Tony Soprano's wife. But what about Wegler himself? Wasn't it a conflict of interest to start a romantic relationship with the mother of one of the students he is responsible for mentoring into college? Was it appropriate to call her in on the pretext of discussing her son's education in order to ask her out to dinner? Sure he got left with a hard-on when she walked out one night but he was the one who decided to come down harder on Fiske in the hopes of getting to have sex with her again. Remember what Melfi told Tony: men are fully capable of controlling themselves, but often they simply don't want to. Besides, didn't Fiske end up demonstrating a genuine disdain/contempt for one of his students that should have rung some alarm bells? Plus what kind of loving rear end in a top hat tells a woman "you used your pussy to strong-arm me"? At least Abelard had the dignity to admit he only went after Heloise originally because he was horny.   After everything was going so well between the two of them, they have both hosed it up badly, and it's a shame, because it really could have been a good thing. Despite his recent big nights out and exhaustion, Tony B is back playing poker at a game with Silvio, Patsy and another player. He goes all-in with 3 Jacks and is wiped out by Silvio's Full House, and declares he's busted out, surprising Patsy who asks if he's really gone through the full 12k already? Of course not... he saved $400! Realizing it's 4am and he has to be at work in 2 hours, Blundetto figures there is no point heading home to sleep since he'll have to be up by the time he goes to bed, and just lays down on the couch to get a couple of hours instead. Once at work, he struggles to carry the bags of linen up the stairs, his custom made shoes slipping on the stone. But he gets through the day and heads into the parlor, where the fountain is in place and Tony has proved good as his word and stocked it with koi from who knows where. Blundetto is painting the walls when his phone goes off (his ringtone is We Are The Champions), it's Gwen over at his mother's letting him know that Roadway Xpress have delivered 5 massage tables to the house instead of the parlor. He's irritated since he'd specifically told them not to do that, and now Gwen starts to get irritated at his whining about how he hates all these details. When he starts contemplating whether he has a brain tumor due to a pain in his jaw she snaps, and a lot comes spilling out of her because those all-night gambling sessions haven't been happening in a vacuum. She's been at home alone while he's been out spending up large and staying up all night, and then expecting her to constantly lend a supportive ear when he's exhausted despite that being of his own making. She begins ranting about waiting for him outside the prison and we get just the briefest tantalizing glimpse into her own mental instability as she wails that she is sick and evil. But he's already hung up, having spotted Kim come walking in to survey HIS parlor. Blundetto goes back to painting as Kim looks around, calling Tony B "Henry Ford" and complimenting the color of the walls. When Blundetto doesn't reply, he stands awkwardly for a moment before asking if his friend Pak came by to fix the toilet, and Tony B grunts that it's not fixed yet because of a missing part. Kim nods, noting that Pak is a good plumber based right here in West Caldwell. The thing is, Kim has a strong accent and his English - while easily understood - has some idiosyncrasies. There are plenty of dropped letters, particular D's and T's (Henry For', Wes-a Cal-well etc) and the exhausted, headache suffering, stressed out Tony B can't take it anymore. "WES CALWEL! WES CALWEL!" he mocks Kim, before enunciating the words clearly like he was talking to a child. Kim is surprised, but whether because he's in a good mood or maybe because he actually appreciates the stress and exhaustion Tony B is feeling (or maybe, sadly, he's just used to open racism) he moves on and instead asks if they're still on track to open in three days. Tony B considers this, particularly the use of "we".... and punches Kim right in the face. Today is not a good day. Roaring at Kim for strolling in all casual while he's busting his rear end, he punches Kim hard in the gut three times while screaming about having to work in his laundry all loving day. Spotting a piece of wood, he grabs it to take another swing at Kim while calling him a scam artist (he provided Blundetto with a store!), but Kim has had time to recover. Blocking the wood with his forearm, he delivers a stiff jab to Tony B's side and sends him stumbling back. But that's not enough to stop him, Blundetto slamming him with the wood and knocking him into the koi pool. He takes another swing but Kim manages to grab the wood and struggles with him over it, swinging Blundetto off to the side. He struggles out of the pool but Tony B is already up and swinging again, sending him crashing to the floor. His back in agony, Tony staggers out the door, leaving behind Kim on his stomach gasping for breath, one of the koi flopping desperately on the ground beside him. So dies the dream of Tony Blundetto and Sungyon Kim's Massage Parlor. Hugh De Angelis is working on the wardrobe door in Carmela's bedroom when she lumbers into the bedroom in her bathrobe and collapses into the bed after a shower. Hugh comments that if she had a man around she wouldn't need him, but he's not specifically suggesting she needs to get back with Tony. Turning, he tells his daughter she's still young and attractive and there is no reason she can't move on with her life if that is what SHE really wants. It's a good and encouraging thing to say, but at the moment she's wallowing. She admits there was a man recently, and Hugh is pleased, until she mumbles that he turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. He's heartbroken to hear her say the man made accusations about her character, but it is how she couches this statement that is interesting. Because in her mind, the reason Wegler talked about her like this was because she was married to a man like Tony. Hugh, not comfortable with his own emotions at the best of times let alone with others, clearly wants to reach out to his quietly sobbing daughter but doesn't know how. So he leaves, while she cries alone in her big empty bed in her big empty house. Wegler, for all his many faults, never considered Tony for a moment. Tony, despite his reputation, was a non-entity to him, and his (cruel) comments about Carmela were based entirely on her and her actions (and his interpretation of them). But just like she once twisted the psychiatrist's warning to her to abandon Tony and the lifestyle she loved and take only the children, she has once again come to a conclusion that absolves her at least partly of blame. Her new relationship failed because of Tony. It must have. Nothing else could possibly be the case. Tony is eating at Vesuvio's when a crumpled, aching Tony Blundetto comes to see him, joining him at the table and wincing from back pain he claims is due to a work-related injury. As Tony eats, Tony B swallows his pride and asks if he still needs somebody to run the airbag scam for him. Tony is surprised, what happened to the massage parlor? Tony B can't bring himself to answer, but Tony can guess, and notes that it can be hard doing business with strangers.   For roughly 35 minutes of this episode, everything was going so well, for Carmela but especially for Tony Blundetto. That's what makes it all going wrong hurt all the more. You don't know what you're missing out on if you've never had it. For both of them, they came agonizingly close to seeing their dreams come true only to have them fall apart right on the precipice. Perhaps the worst part being, it's largely their own fault, and in Tony B's case may in fact be ENTIRELY his own fault. Tony was offended when Blundetto noted Tony's disappointment at him going civilian, but now that has failed Tony is clearly happy as a clam. Now his cousin has proven you can't just leave the life and go legit. Now he can assuage his own guilt by bringing Tony B into the life and give him things, like he's always done whenever he wants to show love or buy himself out of guilt towards others. As his cousin silently smokes, a broad smile spills out over Tony's face. For Tony Blundetto, it's one of the worst days of his life.  For Tony Soprano, today is a good day. Season 5: Two Tonys | Rat Pack | Where's Johnny? | All Happy Families... | Irregular Around the Margins | Sentimental Education | In Camelot | Marco Polo | Unidentified Black Males | Cold Cuts | The Test Dream | Long Term Parking | All Due Respect Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | Season 6.1 | Season 6.2 Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Apr 23, 2020 |
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Oct 12, 2019 10:02
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I'm sorry there has been so much time between these write-ups, poo poo's crazy busy right now but I'm hoping to be able to pick up the pace again soon.
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Oct 12, 2019 10:05
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I don't think you have any thing to apologize for, these are really interesting, take as long as you need.
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Oct 12, 2019 10:48
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Jerusalem posted:Blocking the wood with his forearm, he delivers a stiff jab to Tony B's side and sends him stumbling back. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9TlKj7rLbA&t=58s HAI-YA!
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Oct 12, 2019 13:54
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No reason at all to apologize. Something I noticed, especially with the scene in the beginning of this episode, is that they somehow found a way to film AJ looking like a little boy even as he got older. There's something about the shot when Tony lets go of him that makes him look like the chubby little kid from the first two seasons, it's hard to explain. EDIT: Also, I absolutely believe that Father Phil is jealous. His responses to her are dripping with the kind of contempt of a nice guy that finds out that she's met someone and is now trying to poke all the holes he can. He just gets away with it more because he's a priest. EDIT 2.0: I think Rosalie says "jigs" as in "jigaboos" not "chinks" Pope Corky the IX fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Oct 12, 2019 |
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Oct 12, 2019 13:54
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I just sat down and read this thread for about an hour, laughing like an idiot, most shamelessly at the scene of Paulie throwing the chair. The best is how they say whore, "hooah". Those hooahs! I'm going out of the city for the weekend and I'm going to read some more when I can. I only watched this for the first time in 2016 during a lull time in my life when I was out of work. I was never a huge TV watcher really. And I've always liked mob movies. And I feel bad that so many people I know have never seen it, but all go nuts over your GoT and whatnot. Gf likes Breaking Bad, and we watched that a couple years ago. Didn't like it nearly as much. I finally convinced her to start this with me and we're about half way into S2 now. She "likes it but hates all the characters", hates them for the people they are in the show that is. She likes Jessie in BB which is insane to me. He is like a cheaper, dumber version of Chris. We watched El Camino last night and I wasn't really impressed at all. Having only watched this through once, its only vaguely familiar so its good, almost fresh in a way. I've never seen The Wire either, so might have to put that on the list next after this is over.
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Oct 12, 2019 14:38
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