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extradite THIS! posted:The promos this thing generates are so good. Either they're spot on, like the Warrior ones, or just insane.
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# ? Oct 11, 2019 03:08 |
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 17:00 |
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With the deepest regrets And tears that are soaked I'm sorry to hear That your dad finally croaked I'm sorry for crying and leaving I don't have much to say But I'm sorry, I can't hide for you I'm sorry my heart breaks I can't pretend for you I'm sorry I'm alone But you love me and I will always Love you like a brother A brother that's your father But that's so much more Your name isn't yours I won't pretend And I will not leave you anymore My dear child I'm sorry so much You're my baby I love you I'll always be your parent I won't leave you And now I want to go home... I'm sorry that I'm just a weak little sister But you're the strongest one in the world And I don't want to let you down You're the best in the world and I'm so sorry Your father is a father I was not expecting So in a way I'm proud of you I'm
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# ? Oct 11, 2019 05:18 |
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Hopkins FBI posted:But you love me and I will always And God just laid some heavy poo poo on your friend, -HH
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# ? Oct 11, 2019 14:07 |
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quote:Have Champion come out first
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# ? Oct 12, 2019 03:08 |
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"Hey bitches" said Dark Bayley after winning back the Smackdown Women's Title,"Screw all of you." Dark Bayley quickly made her point. "This isn't anything I haven't heard before. I'm trying to have my fun, but I can't." "What's your point?" said The Miz. "You're the one who lost. You lost because you were too slow, you couldn't get through the entrance." The Miz looked at his opponent. She was staring back at him, her fists clenched. "You don't need to get angry for me to fight you," she said. "Don't act like you are, because you'll break down when your match begins. What you are is not what you want to be." "Well?" said The Miz. "I'm not going to quit just because I don't want to hurt you anymore." "You really know how to get me." "You're getting me because you're too good for me." "Yes, your style isn't for me."
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# ? Oct 12, 2019 03:16 |
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Friday Night SmackDown Oct. 11 Raw Womens Champion Becky Lynch Roman Reigns The O.C. (United States Champion AJ Styles, Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson) "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt Drew McIntyre Randy Orton Sasha Banks Ricochet Braun Strowman Bobby Lashley Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross Lacey Evans The Viking Raiders (Erik & Ivar) SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Revival (Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder) Natalya Heavy Machinery (Tucker & Otis) The Street Profits (Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins) "The Real American" Booker T John Cena (United States Champion) Randy Orton (United States Champion) Sascha McEntire (United States Champion) Samoa Joe & Jimmy Uso (United States Champion) Nikki Bella The New Day (Nia Jax, Bayley & Bayley's Mother)
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# ? Oct 12, 2019 03:35 |
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Got another Oney Lorcan tweet since he mentioned summoning the power of the warrior. ABOUT A YEAR AGO MAURO RANALLO TOLD ME I SHOULD TWEET MORE AND JUST LET MY FREAK FLAG FLY AND ROMAN REIGNS TOLD ME I SHOULD KEEP SUMMONING THE POWER OF THE WARRIOR SO THATS WHAT I DO NOW THROW EM UP ALL ABOARD THE FIGHTER JEWELRY AND WHEN THEY ARRIVE TO BEAT THE BAD GUYS IN YOUR VELVET TAKES YOUR BATTLE RAGE AND TELLS YOU THE GOOD STUFF HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIGHT IN WAR IS WHEN YOU GIVE A SPAWN TO YOUR EYE AND YOUR EYES ARE BLINDED BY THE POWER YOU TAKE FROM YOUR BATTLE! FOR I CAN TAKE YOUR FEET AND I CAN KEEP YOUR FINGERS AND I CAN TAKE YOUR BONES AND I CAN TAKE YOUR BELLY and I CAN TAKE YOUR NECK OF EYE AND I CAN TEACH YOU ALL ABOUT THE GREATEST AND THE BLESSED RANGING WARRIORS OF OUR NATION AND THAT WE WILL BE LIKE THEM WHEN WE FIGHT
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# ? Oct 12, 2019 20:08 |
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Bayley came out but then her music cut off as she revealed a new haircut and ring-gear, then took a set of shears and murdered the ring-staff with her bare hands. She stood there, stunned. "You just killed me there. It's over." But it wasn't. Instead, she jumped to her feet and screamed, "You're my bestfriend now!", while smashing the top of her head into the ground three times. "My bestfriend" means my soulmate (I don't get it, either) but she meant my true best friend now. Her new, shiny black ring on her finger. And on her finger is a beautiful white diamond ring with three black diamonds in it. She was a different woman to that before. She had lost her hair so she was wearing a big blonde wig and a huge silver necklace that she wore under a tight lace shirt and tight pants and she had been doing voice work all day. And then there was that. The murder.
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# ? Oct 12, 2019 21:55 |
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And then there was that. The murder.Angry_Ed posted:Oney Warrior I love the little uncapitalized "and" in there.
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# ? Oct 12, 2019 22:29 |
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Bard Maddox posted:He had a long list of names: Johnny Nitro, Johnny Mundo, Johnny Impact, Johnny Superstar, Johnny Ultra, Johnny Blackcraft, Johnny Pectoral, Johnny Prodigy, Johnny Rampage, Johnny Slaughter, Johnny SmackDown, Johnny Tornado, Johnny Taurus, Johnny Velocity, Johnny Vigil, Johnny Vick, Johnny X, Johnny Xtreme, Johnny Xtreme 1st, Johnny Xtreme 2nd, Johnny Xtreme 3rd, Johnny Xtreme Extreme, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 2, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 3, Johnny Xtreme Extreme 4, Johnny Xtreme Superstars, Johnny Xtreme Superstars 2, and Johnny Xtreme Superstars 3. It's a long list.
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# ? Oct 13, 2019 22:56 |
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The lyrics to the song "Judas," performed by Chris Jericho and Fozzy, are as follows: Wake up in the morning and there's a big fat, balding guy with a big fat dick A fat, balding, balding man with a big fat dick A fat, balding baldy with a big fat dick I mean, you can't be all that good at your job Unless you play his loving keyboard And, when you're not doing your goddamn music (I mean you can't be all that good at your job) But you can be a great big fat bald head (you can't be all that good at your job) Oh (I mean you can be a great big fat bald head) Wake up in the morning and there's a big fat, balding guy with a big fat dick A fat, balding, balding baldy with a big fat dick I mean, you can't be all that good at your job Unless you play his loving keyboard; and (I
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# ? Oct 13, 2019 23:28 |
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It's as capable of poetry as nonsense
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# ? Oct 14, 2019 08:05 |
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Jericho could get "fat balding baldy" over and you know it.
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# ? Oct 14, 2019 08:16 |
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Gedo send Ishii over to AEW you coward
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# ? Oct 14, 2019 11:17 |
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I want to emphasize that an AI was the author of these words and not I because Well, well it's the Big Show Yes it's a big bad show tonight... dawg Yeah it's the Big Show Come on - Crank it up and turn on all the lights.. yall wanna hear it? So I asked for a bit of guidance from my boy Crank, he was a total hooligan and he was the biggest hooligan you could find. The cops were all on their phones and his voice was full of drugs and I'm sure he was in a mood to party that evening. They were like "what are you talking about?" I looked up at him and asked him "what if i'm a human being you see." And that's how I met my future wife. It was like 'oh crap this guy is the biggest hooligan there ever was' and Crank just said "yeah he's not a bad guy he just hates women who gently caress other men." And that was just the story of what happened tonight. It's like the Big Show Crank, why are you calling this show 'The Big Show'? Haha, I'm just saying. That's
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# ? Oct 14, 2019 12:34 |
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Al Snow's "White Night" There are a number of songs that fall under the category of "dark, haunting" or "soulful," but there is one song that stands out for its impact on the singer and to the songwriter: "White Night." Recorded in 1969 and released in 1970, the song was originally intended for the 1965 film Black Christmas, but the film was canceled and the song ended up on the '70s album The Band and the Bandits. Snow would sing the song with this haunting combination of anger and loss: There's a reason that I don't sleep, no matter how deep you sleep And why I don't play with that toy you're playing with No matter where you're going It doesn't mean anything to me no more You and I in the same world I can't take it any more And it hasn't been as bad a week as I thought it would be I know what I'm doing no matter where I go There's a reason that I don't have to talk There's a reason why I don't have to cry
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# ? Oct 14, 2019 13:05 |
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quote:The draft panel discussed the drafts for the night and said those not drafted today would be added to rosters by midnight tomorrow. Also they said there might be trades happening gently caress YOU NO NO TRADES gently caress OFF. You know what they say - no trades to me I'm just waiting to be drafted No trades to me. I have a draft and so do we. I'm not going to trade my draft to anyone else so make of that what you will.
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# ? Oct 15, 2019 05:28 |
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I can't deal with WWE's dogshit product anymore. I've held out as long as I can because I figured it was important to provide some kind of weekly guide on the biggest pro-wrestling company in the world but this is just becoming a giant drain on my time. If I keep writing these they're just going to get more and more negative and biased so I'm done. WWE is the greatest loving company in the world but I can no longer stand being a part of it. And you can all be the judge of that if you are interested! And lastly, I can't take my poo poo seriously anymore when I'm told by certain people who have no loving clue what the gently caress they're talking poo poo about. Seriously, what the gently caress are they talking about? "Oh, you like wrestling, it's a cool, popular thing." That's a joke because there is no loving way I, as a fan of wrestling, would like it as much as you do. It's the closest thing to a hobby as you can have in this country so The Firefly Funhouse finally aired and Bray declared YOWIE WOWIE! about Seth, who he thinks is strong and brave and smart... but THE FIEND never forgets. Ramblin' Rabbit appeared frightened but Bray told him he would be okay because "he" keeps us safe. Seth appeared out of nowhere and beat up Bray, then tore up the set while Ramblin' Rabbit screamed out in a panic. Bray rose up and tearfully asked Seth why he was doing this, and Seth literally set fire to the set and "burned it down" while shots of THE FIEND's face appeared on the screen. Seth then screamed at Ramblin' Rabbit, revealing that his goal was "to prove that THE WAND was the greatest thing ever created by God, and that he would one day burn in HELL for the sin of not knowing it." YOWIE WOWIE!! So that's when this happened... The Firefly Funhouse finally aired and Bray declared YOWIE WOWIE! about Seth, who he thinks is strong and brave and smart... but THE FIEND never forgets. Ramblin' Rabbit appeared frightened but Bray told him he would be okay because "he" keeps us safe. Seth appeared out of nowhere and beat up Bray, then tore up the set while Ramblin' Rabbit screamed out in a panic. Bray rose up and tearfully asked Seth why he was doing this, and Seth literally set fire to everything around him, including some pretty old furniture and a television. YOWIE WOWIE! When Ramblin' Rabbit returned to the Funhouse, he tried to tell Seth who is the real boss, but he did not listen, so he smashed Seth's head into the wall so hard it shattered and cut off his hands, which were trapped in the skull. (He has since put the broken hands up on the wall like something else, but they do say that "if you break something that doesn't belong to you, you are welcome.") In a bid to save his own
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# ? Oct 15, 2019 05:31 |
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Lana was getting a massage and asked if the amount of pressure was right, and she said she liked it harder. gently caress off, Vince McMahon you creepy old lech... Vince was so annoyed when she did that he tried to push the massage chair away but she took it to her throat and he screamed. The entire time the cameras were rolling and there were people around screaming things that aren't funny and that I don't even get. "I'm sorry if I offended you but I'll take you to dinner." I was so pissed I ran downstairs and screamed it at the two guys in the hallway. They yelled something back and I was done with my bullshit and made my way home. I didn't tell my wife that. This was just one of those nights. What's your worst night?
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# ? Oct 15, 2019 05:52 |
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Gonna go back to doing art just as soon as I stumble into some spare time!quote:Ramblin Rabbit leveled the gun against his longtime abusers. But! Should he shoot his loving friend Bray Wyatt or that low down scoundrel THE FIEND? Doubt crept into the corners of Ramblin Rabbit's mind.
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# ? Oct 15, 2019 14:18 |
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Jerusalem posted:"I've grown to hate [WWE Monday Night RAW] and I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm going to just watch the wrestling. I will say to those guys on the WWE Network, I'll give you my number. I'll put a number right on the website. I will say, if you ever show me an interesting match or something I might check it out, and see if you want to do this. I'm not going to waste my time watching the WWE Universe for the next year and a half. I don't want to see people lose their minds or get angry. I don't even want to see anyone get hurt." (For the record, I changed someone's name to Jerusalem in this one. But that's the only change I made, honest!) Next up: If Twitter had more characters. Hulk Hogan posted:Goodnight HULKAMANIACS and jabronie marks without a life that don't know it a work when you work a work and work yourself into a shoot,marks without a life when they're all in their pajamas, or even before they're in their pajamas. They're just...They're all...they're all...nothing to me.I will always love you, I promise and I will never make you regret it.I'm just...I'm a big-rear end rear end in a top hat, and I'm here for my audience.The world is just a big place, everyone have their places and they're just...just like you.You know.You love me.Oh man. TAKA Michinoku posted:Shut gently caress up long dick boy .Iike a sousage uwahahaha.I'm gonna blow u up.Oh poo poo u loving dick.You loving idiot...you dumbass.I'm taking u now.Oh shiite...yeah.Oh poo poo u poo poo son of a bitch...get to it.gently caress the loving loving guy .I'll smash your head in.I'm getting the gently caress out of here.No, gently caress the gently caress off...you're not even a real man...I don't care now.Ohshit...you're so bad .You're so bad...I swear I'll kick your loving butt.I'll get u some rear end.I'm not gonna let you run away.I don't give a poo poo where you live.I am the king of the hill.Get in here...you little poo poo...You're gonna get hosed.I'm gonna get up and poo poo your rear end...I don't like you little boy.If it wasn't for that poo poo, I wouldn't even gently caress you!Fag...gently caress that fag.This is really loving weird.Who were you calling a son of a bitch? That one generated a lot of just absolute filth, holy poo poo. The Iron Sheik posted:HULK HOGAN IS NOT A JABRONI...... APRIL FOOLS DAY YOU loving JABRONI YOU AND YOU AIN'T GET IN ANY HOCKEY LEAGUE TO WATCH ME PLAY AND AIN'T TELLIN' NOBODY ABOUT IT YER JABRONI I AM GOING TO gently caress YOUR EYES OUT SO YOU CAN'T loving DONT FIND ME ANY MORE
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# ? Oct 15, 2019 21:49 |
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I love the byzantine rulesets this thing comes up with. We're in for an exciting Royal Rumble next year, folksquote:There will be some big changes to the Royal Rumble next year. Here are the updated rules:
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# ? Oct 15, 2019 23:02 |
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quote:It's very possible the only thought behind the cucking angle is to harm Rusev and Lana's marriage. Rusev is, after all, Rusev and Lana's boyfriend and Rusev has never been shy about revealing his love for Lana. He's also quite the gentleman. But it's also possible the cuck angle was something created by WWE writers to show Rusev and Lana having sex outside of the wrestling ring, thus taking the spotlight off them. That would explain the timing of that angle: Before a match.
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# ? Oct 16, 2019 04:19 |
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I admit I wanted Palladino's potty mouth lead the AI into more dirty words, but this was too good to pass on: Ring announcer Rich Palladino introduced the main event: "The following contest is a loving tag team match. It's fuckin' awesome." It really is a loving awesome match. There is nothing wrong with it. This match would put any other super hardcore promotion on a level, and make its star a household name. Superstars would jump about the ring a mile. When they touched the ropes, they dropped like raindrops. When Superstar Luke Harper put in that big slam on a young, athletic guy named Davey Boy Smith, the crowd would start chanting, "Superstar Luke Harper makes Smith tap!" Not much happens between hits like Luke Harper made Smith do, but what happens is incredible. The fans are into it. Superstar Luke Harper makes Smith tap. Superstar Luke Harper makes Smith tap. Superstar Luke Harper makes Smith tap. This man literally took on Davey Boy Smith. His name is Superstar Luke Harper. He is Superstar Luke Harper.
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# ? Oct 16, 2019 12:46 |
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That sounds like a wonderful dream Luke Harper would have just before waking up and remembering he's an eternal prisoner of WWE
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# ? Oct 16, 2019 12:48 |
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I kept hitting the button in the increasingly dwindling hope it would produce something dirty and funny, but the two dirty things it spat our were not really funny. It did spit out plenty of nuggets of funny though:
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# ? Oct 16, 2019 17:56 |
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Sting couldn't draw but Stingzilla sure could
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# ? Oct 16, 2019 18:05 |
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quote:There is a universe where Britt Baker and Adam Page are the champs and I want to live in that universe so I can effort post about how actually it's real good for pages at a time.
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# ? Oct 17, 2019 19:06 |
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reignofevil posted:There is a universe where Britt Baker and Adam Page both win the World Cup, and I want to see a series of pictures of the pair celebrating their triumphs
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# ? Oct 17, 2019 19:21 |
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Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair gained 265,000 viewers. Andrade vs. Ali and the draft picks lost 259,000 viewers. Viking Raiders vs. Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler quarter first loss 176,000 viewers but the finish of the match and Aleister Black vs. Eric Young gained 144,000 viewers. Draft picks and the angle with the Street Profits vs. The OC lost 182,000 viewers. Ricochet vs. Shelton Benjamin and the Lana/Bobby Lashley segment gained 69,000 viewers. That's it. And I don't know what else to do with this report, other than say "gently caress IT, LET'S DO A FIGHTER. NOW." You have no idea what it's like to be a pro wrestler on a televised show. It's like a life of extreme privledge, being able to be anything your heart desires as long as you're paying your dues. I know I feel that way, every time I step into the ring these days. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, but I know this thing called pro wrestling
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# ? Oct 18, 2019 15:59 |
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This got weird. Chuck Taylor called New Japan's Power Struggle 2018, and he should call all future New Japan shows. He also wrote about his time with Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. I read an entire article on how he did his job so well and also how WWE and the WWE Hall of Famer were a bit disrespectful to him, which has nothing to do with what makes this an awesome show or what I've discussed here at TNA Impact! I'd also like to mention that I'm excited for this week when TNA returns to TNA Impact TV. I've been watching TNA on the internet for a long time and for the first couple weeks or so it was difficult to watch TNA with an audience and make a decision whether or not it was time to move on. This week the wrestling does not disappoint, and now I can say that I can watch TNA on TV, as opposed to just through internet access, which had been the case for a while. That means I have more to look forward to each week, which is usually what I'm excited about. Plus TNA in TNA! Thank you
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# ? Oct 18, 2019 16:03 |
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quote:Vince curled his lip in anger - AEW had beaten Raw in the rating for the third straight week in a row. The ghost of dusty rhodes had been telling the truth that cold October night. It was too early in the evening for the ratings to be dropping. "How long shall we wait for you, Vince?" the voice yelled from the television.
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# ? Oct 18, 2019 17:19 |
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"The Last Ten Minutes of Vince McMahon" is a hell of a title for a Stephen King short story.
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# ? Oct 18, 2019 17:40 |
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John Cena announced on Twitter that he had been cast in the movie of the same name. "I don't know how to feel about this whole thing but, to the best of my ability, will cast me in this film 'Blessed' as Prince Charles," he tweeted. The actor's tweet was also accompanied by a photograph with his hair down and the words "It'll be Prince at The Prince of Wales and The Paps' pleasure!" Below is the synopsis for the new film, which is directed by David O'Russell. The new film, "Blessed," stars Michael Fassbender as Prince Charles and Matt Smith as the Queen's head of household. In honor of the Queen's 70th birthday, a series of magical events occur surrounding the day the royal family meets. In one of these events, a young boy is discovered by the Queen who immediately finds himself transported to a fantasy world. When a young girl is also caught up in the dream, he is reunited with his grandfather and sister. Meanwhile, Prince Charles' magical amulet has been stolen from him in the real world and the prince must
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# ? Oct 18, 2019 18:01 |
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Hulk Hogan returns to Hollywood as he stars in a new series, the Hulk Hogan Sex Tape. Watch the trailer. ... Let's try that again. *** Hulk Hogan returns to Hollywood as he stars in the movie adaptation of "Hulkamania: Legend of the Hulkamaniac." Hogan is starring in the movie that centers around Hulk Hogan's wild, "real life" escapades with "Sexy" Michelle Schubert, who, alongside her husband, Eddie Guerrero, became famous in 1992. The duo had been married in the mid-1980s when Hogan sued the WWE for $100 million over his match at WrestleMania 3, which made him the WWF's first world champion. HULK AND GROVE HAVE A RACE ON HULK AMEN, HULK AND HULK AMEN Hogan was forced to pay the WWE to keep his match with Stephanie McMahon from being featured on the WWE Network as he was involved with his wife's former boyfriend, Michael "Hulkamania" Jackson. Hogan filed suit against the WWE, saying Hogan was unfairly fired for a non-fight and sued for punitive and compensatory damages. After a three-week trial in October 1995, a judge awarded Hogan almost $100 million in
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# ? Oct 18, 2019 18:15 |
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Ok, lets go back to the basics.quote:The rules of a pro wrestling match: Also, heres a sadly unused version of Billy Gunns Assman theme quote:Im an rear end man
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# ? Oct 18, 2019 22:50 |
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extradite THIS! posted:The rules of a pro wrestling match: Delete this, you accidentally posted the rules of Wrestlers' Court instead! Undertaker's gonna break our knees!
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# ? Oct 19, 2019 02:02 |
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The rules of a professional wrestling match: Every 10 minutes (the amount of time is fixed but varies), a match ends. During the match, every person in the ring is eliminated in a 3-way match. You are eliminated if: The crowd shouts or boo. You are struck with a steel chair. You lose control of your body when you fall. Your opponent, in the next minute, punches you in the face. You do not pass out. You cannot continue for more than a few seconds because you do not feel well. Do not have weapons on yourself or your opponent, unless you are the ring leader. Do not enter the ring or engage a member of the crowd. If a member of the crowd or a member of your entourage is attacking you, run away for 2 minutes. You can also attack if a member of your entourage grabs you and strikes you. The last person in the ring is eliminated.
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# ? Oct 19, 2019 06:57 |
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Anything "rules" generates some amazing stuff. At one point yesterday when I was trying to get good rulesets I got something like "The match ends when the ring is full of dead people who have been killed by the wrestlers." Edit: Heres one I saved but didnt post yesterday: quote:The rules of a pro wrestling match: NO REFUNDS.
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# ? Oct 19, 2019 07:04 |
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 17:00 |
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Uh oh! They added even more stipulations to the Wyatt vs Rollins blood money match!quote:Seth Rollins vs The Fiend Bray Wyatt Im just having the time of my life with this thing. Sorry if Im ing too much
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# ? Oct 19, 2019 12:00 |