Thunderdome 2019teen: Writing Our Wrongs

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Black Griffon: Mar 12, 2005; Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time.

I know who you are. You are destiny.

In, sleep, sebmojo :toxx:

# ? Nov 12, 2019 19:14

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:13

flerp: Feb 25, 2014

in peace

(no hellrule plz)

# ? Nov 12, 2019 20:51

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

In, sanctuary

:toxx:

# ? Nov 12, 2019 22:48

crimea: Nov 16, 2012; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

in connection

:toxx:

give me a good one, seb

# ? Nov 12, 2019 23:35

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

SlipUp posted:

in

Booze.

Everyone is drowning on dry land

Anomalous Amalgam posted:

In
Blood

Caffeine sounded like rear end, let's spice it up with bloooodd

kitchen appliances are watching everything, what do they know

Djeser posted:

in wildlife hellrule me sebby

the ground will no longer hold us up

Saucy_Rodent posted:

Oh, hellrule please

story is told in breaths

Black Griffon posted:

In, sleep, sebmojo .

protag is quivering into oblivion

flerp posted:

in peace

(no hellrule plz)

there are no personalities in your story but we still care what happens (nb you don't have to do this i did not read your words properly, you can if u want tho)

Antivehicular posted:

In, sanctuary

protag doesn't believe they exist

Flesnolk posted:

In

story takes place in the barrel of a gun

crimea posted:

in connection

give me a good one, seb

all of your characters actions are meaningless

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Nov 13, 2019

# ? Nov 12, 2019 23:59

Carl Killer Miller: Apr 28, 2007; This is the way that it all falls.
This is how I feel,
This is what I need:

In

My cat.

Hellrule me! (Imagine the toxx emoji here)

# ? Nov 13, 2019 01:38

curlingiron: Dec 15, 2006; b l o o p

curlingiron posted:

In

Early post to claim my cat as my important thing.

# ? Nov 13, 2019 02:02

Carl Killer Miller: Apr 28, 2007; This is the way that it all falls.
This is how I feel,
This is what I need:

curlingiron posted:

gently caress. Uh, my item is

YOUR cat

# ? Nov 13, 2019 02:26

selaphiel: Jan 31, 2019; where did all the entwives go?

In.

Ley lines.

# ? Nov 13, 2019 02:40

Sitting Here: Dec 31, 2007

Carl Killer Miller posted:

In

My cat.

Hellrule me! (Imagine the toxx emoji here)

curlingiron posted:

you can both write about my cat but i will be watching closely to determine who loves kitties more

# ? Nov 13, 2019 03:07

Carl Killer Miller: Apr 28, 2007; This is the way that it all falls.
This is how I feel,
This is what I need:

Sitting Here posted:

you can both write about my cat but i will be watching closely to determine who loves kitties more

Awesome. I'll take my toxx rule then, Seb

# ? Nov 13, 2019 03:25

Thranguy: Apr 21, 2010; Deceitful and black-hearted, perhaps we are. But we would never go against the Code. Well, perhaps for good reasons. But mostly never.

In, August.

# ? Nov 13, 2019 03:45

Sitting Here: Dec 31, 2007

HEY GUYS I JUST NOTICED THERE IS A POEM DOME :siren:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3903748

If you do poetry, be a pal and go over there and help this babby dome grow

# ? Nov 13, 2019 09:21

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Or even if you don�t do poetry, come join anyway!

Also I�ll jump in on this one. Coffee

# ? Nov 13, 2019 09:38

Sitting Here: Dec 31, 2007

sephiRoth IRA posted:

Or even if you don�t do poetry, come join anyway!

Also I�ll jump in on this one. Coffee

# ? Nov 13, 2019 09:58

Entenzahn: Nov 15, 2012; erm... quack-ward

In
Privacy
:toxx:

# ? Nov 13, 2019 18:47

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

I forget, is going over the limit a bit acceptable? Like fewer than 70 words?

# ? Nov 13, 2019 19:49

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

Try it and see

# ? Nov 13, 2019 20:05

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I forget, is going over the limit a bit acceptable? Like fewer than 70 words?

You might get away with it if the judges don't notice.

# ? Nov 13, 2019 20:26

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Djeser posted:

You might get away with it if the judges don't notice.

Welp, poo poo.

# ? Nov 13, 2019 20:40

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

Carl Killer Miller posted:

Awesome. I'll take my toxx rule then, Seb

since FLORP has disdained it, you may have:

there are no personalities in your story but we still care what happens

# ? Nov 13, 2019 21:32

Chairchucker: Nov 14, 2006; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

in

my heart

# ? Nov 14, 2019 07:01

magic cactus: Aug 3, 2019; We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

IN

thing that matters: noise

# ? Nov 14, 2019 19:53

Entenzahn: Nov 15, 2012; erm... quack-ward

sebmojo posted:

since FLORP has disdained it, you may have:

there are no personalities in your story but we still care what happens

Wheres my hellrule mother fucker

# ? Nov 14, 2019 22:16

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Entenzahn posted:

Wheres my hellrule mother fucker

should have asked for one then

# ? Nov 14, 2019 22:29

Entenzahn: Nov 15, 2012; erm... quack-ward

Djeser posted:

should have asked for one then

But I toxxed, "Djeser"

# ? Nov 14, 2019 23:00

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

ENTS RULE everyone can't stop fighting, not even for a moment

# ? Nov 14, 2019 23:08

Black Griffon: Mar 12, 2005; Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time.

I know who you are. You are destiny.

Ents do rule

# ? Nov 14, 2019 23:09

sparksbloom: Apr 30, 2006

In, The Moon, :toxx:

# ? Nov 15, 2019 05:00

dmboogie: Oct 4, 2013

been too long

it's always been too long

in, song

# ? Nov 15, 2019 08:24

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

sparksbloom posted:

In, The Moon,

No words longer than three syllables

# ? Nov 15, 2019 13:07

Anomalous Amalgam: Feb 13, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo; Doctor Rope

Although I have a brawl pending judgment, any of you other cowards feel like getting cut with poorly used words?

Preferably B or C rank contestants. An S-Class will just make a mess of me, but I'm no coward and will demolish anyone who is fool enough to come at me, or die trying.

# ? Nov 15, 2019 23:56

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Anomalous Amalgam posted:

Although I have a brawl pending judgment, any of you other cowards feel like getting cut with poorly used words?

Preferably B or C rank contestants. An S-Class will just make a mess of me, but I'm no coward and will demolish anyone who is fool enough to come at me, or die trying.

I'll prompt and judge this, if there's a challenger

# ? Nov 16, 2019 00:09

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

In, memories.

# ? Nov 16, 2019 00:28

steeltoedsneakers: Jul 26, 2016

Anomalous Amalgam posted:

Although I have a brawl pending judgment, any of you other cowards feel like getting cut with poorly used words?

Preferably B or C rank contestants. An S-Class will just make a mess of me, but I'm no coward and will demolish anyone who is fool enough to come at me, or die trying.

Let's dance.

# ? Nov 16, 2019 00:50

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

steeltoedsneakers posted:

Let's dance.

Okay! Sneakers, Amalgam, this is your brawl prompt:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NSJbEeNSe0

1500 words, due Tuesday, Nov 26th at 2359 Pacific time. Toxxes, please.

# ? Nov 16, 2019 01:41

Anomalous Amalgam: Feb 13, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo; Doctor Rope

Antivehicular posted:

Okay! Sneakers, Amalgam, this is your brawl prompt:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NSJbEeNSe0

1500 words, due Tuesday, Nov 26th at 2359 Pacific time. Toxxes, please.

Someone start chiseling Sneakers a tombstone.

:toxx:

# ? Nov 16, 2019 02:23

steeltoedsneakers: Jul 26, 2016

Antivehicular posted:

Okay! Sneakers, Amalgam, this is your brawl prompt:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NSJbEeNSe0

1500 words, due Tuesday, Nov 26th at 2359 Pacific time. Toxxes, please.

# ? Nov 16, 2019 02:33

Chili: Jan 23, 2004; college kids ain't shit; Fun Shoe

Bumping This!

Sign-ups are closing on Monday sometime!

We've got some folks in, but not as many as years past. Let's make this poo poo merry, you scrooges.

Chili posted:

Year 3, Baby

I�ll say this now and I�ll say it again at the end of the post: DO NOT INDICATE INTEREST OR ATTEMPT TO SIGN UP IN THREAD. Message me directly either through PM or on IRC. Not looking to bog down the thread while all of this great anting is going on.

This year, I want to include as many people in on the festivities as possible. Accordingly, there are two ways you can participate in the merriment. If you want to join this year, you MUST participate in Event 1. Event 2 is optional.

Event 1 The Gift of Trash Words

Last year, we had a big collaborative story that included all of the participants. It got messy and was hard to manage. Changing it up again this year!

There will be a prompt. It does not need to be strictly adhered to. Everyone will be secretly paired up with one other domer, if there's an odd amount, I'll sit out.
One person starts the story, one person finishes it.

So instead of one big crazy story, there will be more stories representing small little thunderdyads.

You'll get the prompt when it's your turn to punch the holiday keys. Prompts for the first in the partnership will go out in about a week, and from them, I'd like to have the first half of those stories back in two weeks. That way, your partner has enough time to steer away from the iceberg you set them up with.

You may sign up for just Event 1, if you'd like.

Event 2 The Gift of Trash Presents (so far, everyone has utterly ruled at giving gits. If you sign up for this, be prepared to be blown away and I guess do some blowing yourself)

No spending minimum or maximum, but keep your expectations low so you may be surprised! Gifts can range from something as small as a really nice greeting card to whatever the hell you can think up. Just make it some combination of personal, thoughtful, funny, what the gently caress ever. Also, in order to sign up for this event, you need to have completed at least 5 Thunderdome entries. Don't let low funds deter you here! Seriously, a bitching card, and a trinket would be welcome by all of us.

Last year, I had separate circles for folks in and out of the US to try and keep shipping costs low, but I�m not doing that this year. Suffice to say, if shipping charges are crazy nuts for your Santee you can always consider digital gifts (gifts on steam, forums upgrades, whatever else).

I�ll facilitate all communication between Santas and Santees. If you don't feel as though you know your santee very well, feel free to ask me questions that I'll then relay to them. DO NOT TALK TO YOUR SANTEE. THAT RUINS THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS AND YOU�LL MAKE THUNDEBABYJESUS CRY.

You may sign up for just Even 2, if you'd like.

To indicate your interest DO NOT POST. Preferably, send me a PM, but if you don�t have PMs find me on irc or Discord. If you have PM's and you're only signing up for Event 1, then I need nothing else from you. If you don't have PM's I need an e-mail to send the story to. Also, if you're signing up for Event 2, I'll need a mailing address for you so your Santa doesn't get lost on their way to where you live.

To sign up, indicate if you are down for event 1, event 2, or if you a mirthful bastard who wants in on both. No pressure, but that last option is totes the most festive and you should do it.

I will confirm with you when you sign up. If you don't hear from me, it means I missed it. Try me again. Additionally, in the likely event that something here isn't clear, let me know outside of the thread and I'll be sure to amend what needs amending.

I�ll post a reminder about this when the deadline is a few days away. For now, GET MERRY!

# ? Nov 16, 2019 03:35

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:13

flerp: Feb 25, 2014

anomalous slipup brawl

both of these are, well, i wouldnt say suck, but generally are just kinda eh

anomalous

the story is mostly a summary of things happening. there's not much going on, but it's short, so maybe that's excusable. but there's just nothing really there. there are just kinda events happening but like i have no reason to care who any of these characters are and there really isnt anything happening. there's some vagueness with why theyre being ignored or mistreated or what have you, but it never culminates into anything meaningful or scary or interesting. its just kinda like eh here's some things happening that are kinda sad kinda scary and then ur off on ur way. it fails to really elicit any emotions since the narration feels detached from the characters. it feels sort-of like reading a wikipedia article, where it can be vaguely interesting, but all of the emotion and human elements of it are hidden.

slipup

this feels mostly like a character study except the character being studied is dull and cliche. like, he's just a rugged oldboy whose wife died and wants to rough it out in the wilds. it's not very clear on the setting, and im not sure if this is supposed to be like some apocalypse scenario (i dont think so) or some supernatural thing (i hope not given the prompt) or if it's just normal contemporary life and the guy just wants to die in the woods. but the main fault is that, the character is just not very interesting. he doesnt feel any real complicated emotions, he doesnt feel like he has any advanced depth or backstory. he has a dead wife which is like wow isnt that obvious and his relationship with her isnt expanded on, his relationship with the outside world isnt explained, and his reasoning for wanting to go into a cabin to be murdered by a bear not hit on in any meaningful way.

also oh my god your tenses

SlipUp posted:

The snow melts slowly day by day present tense . I sit with my propane lamp and stare out the window, wondering if this year is the year present. Every year there's a little less of the wilds each time present tense. Nature is poked and prodded, herded into an ever smaller corner present. An animal is most dangerous there present.

Out my window I can see my neighbor's cabin down the valley present. Light no longer shone PAST????? there. It took him last year past but this is okay because it's something that's happening in the "past" of this story. I could hear the screams from here, but I was helpless. Stuck. Confined. Useless. My legs and my wherewithal had withered and died. I traded my courage for whiskey and my legs for wheels. A poo poo bargain to be sure.

I could've left. For a place with phones and Facebook and cars and... nurses, hospitals, a room in a building for the senile and infirm. No.

I had come here after Helen died. I couldn't take it. Not her being gone. That was a long fight well fought, but she was tired. The drugs they pumped into her. Who the gently caress can fill such a lovely lady with poison? It wasn't meant to be but she did it for me. For us. I will never forgive myself for that.

No, this monster out here wasn't going to scare me so easily. If she could face her demon, I could face mine. switching back into present for the story, which is fine

Night has fallen. The wind rustles the doors on my cabin. Then again, strongly jostling the back door.

That isn't wind.

There was AND THE PAST??? a low growl and the door buckled heavily. Then again, and again. I sipped some more whiskey. My time had come. I don't bemoan my station and now back to present????. I don't cry. I have no tears left for my death. It's not so sad to me.

It's not just the animals that get pushed further back. Us wildlings are as well. There's no more frontiers. No place to run to. No more fresh starts.

The back door split down the middle and the beast entered back to past. It was huge, the size of 4 or 5 men, with thick brown fur, paws the size of frying pans, and the stench of rot on its breath. It's eyes held a glimmer. Something unlike a beast and more like a man. Rage.

I sip present one last time from the whiskey and throw it at the reaper. It smashes over the creature's head to no effect.

"Come on you ugly sum-bitch. We were meant to be together," I say.

The bear lunges at me. I have time to kick over the lamp but then the beast breaks every bone in my body as he tackles me with his teeth. His jaws lock around my skull, but it's too late.

The propane lamp has set fire to the alcohol, engulfing us in flame.

I see her. There, in the light. She beckons. I must go. you stay in present until the end of this story which is good ty

you have to decide what tense you want to use and stick with it. and for the love of god dont tense shift in the middle of a paragraph jfc

results

im not happy with either of these but i flipped a coin and then ignored it and instead say that slipup wins because while these are both sketches of stories, slipup's lines were a bit more clear

# ? Nov 16, 2019 19:20

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