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Sailor Cat posted:I mean a joke made by the child of a crazy person, like someone made a kitschy home decoration with photoshop that described their crazy parent's attitudes, beliefs, and probably a couple direct quotes. It wouldn't be out-of-place as a post in this thread as exactly that. Nah, my biological mother said poo poo like that word for word and meant it. For some folks that isn't hyperbole, it's an actual code for parenting.
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Nov 18, 2019 02:26
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Tin Can Hit Man posted:Nah, my biological mother said poo poo like that word for word and meant it. For some folks that isn't hyperbole, it's an actual code for parenting. I've known a few people share posts exactly like it on Facebook, the also call themselves Mama Bears.
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Nov 18, 2019 02:34
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Sailor Cat posted:I think it's a joke It can be yours for starting at $47.99 plus shipping! Choose your own colors!
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Nov 18, 2019 04:12
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nashona posted:Something a soon to be estranged parent would hang in their house. Here's a fun(not fun) game. Replace "Parent" with "Husband" and "Children" with "Wife", then post it as a reply, and watch your Facebook feed melt like a day old candle.
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Nov 18, 2019 05:48
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Hobby Lobby is one hell of a drug.
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Nov 18, 2019 06:47
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fist4jesus posted:Daddy says im the best at french kissing. Typical boomer parents playing favorites
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Nov 18, 2019 09:47
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nashona posted:It can be yours for starting at $47.99 plus shipping! Wow, that's terrible.
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Nov 18, 2019 13:32
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that screed is what southern Baptist parents actually believe usually one of them was in the military edit: in houses like that, expressing "I hate you" out loud would earn you some severe punishment, so you have to mutter it. I got hit for things like that but it turns out that kids say that poo poo all the time??? and the proper answer is a sympathetic "I know." Now that I have a child of my own and am developing a healthy relationship with him I can see how extremely bad my parents were at basically everything relating to parenting. It's amazing and awful to realize that the poisonous relationship I had with them growing up was entirely their fault instead of mine for being a "disrespectful and spoiled child." Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 15:17 on Nov 18, 2019 |
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Nov 18, 2019 15:11
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Hobby Lobby is one hell of a drug. Estranged parents funding ISIS by proxy sounds about right
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Nov 18, 2019 15:17
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fist4jesus posted:Daddy says im the best at french kissing. Probation reason: "In addition to being a non-sequitor, this thread is for people who no longer have close relationships with their parents. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours."  , Barudak
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Nov 18, 2019 15:26
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https://imdb.com/title/tt8582254/ Watching this dumb tv movie reminded me of this thread.
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Nov 18, 2019 18:37
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goldenninjawarrior posted:https://imdb.com/title/tt8582254/ quote:“Dear Estranged Child, A letter to … my estranged son – please come back to me quote:You have chosen a life without me. How long do you need? I have tried many forms of contact but you block me. drat technology. It has been 10 months since that final day. Will this silence last for ever? I ought not to equate my agony to grieving for the dead: you are alive, so I hold on to hope with faltering fingertips. Dear Estranged Adult Sons and Daughters quote:This open letter is for you. Every single day I hear from mothers and fathers who are grieving your loss. They can’t imagine how this happened and how the son and/or daughter that they loved and raised could so easily dismiss them from their lives. 
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Nov 18, 2019 22:24
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trickybiscuits posted:Was it enjoyable? Obviously the point is that you're judging me, as that affects me. My behavior only affects you and is therefore irrelevant.
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Nov 18, 2019 22:27
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Right into my veinsssss
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Nov 18, 2019 23:10
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You could start a multiplex cinema the way these people project. Goddamn. My oldest brother was the one to shake me out of the concept of familial obligation. I had been somewhat resentful that he didn’t interact w me more but I was also a barely functioning alcoholic for a number of years. He explained the worldview he learned in therapy, and it made sense. If your life is a show, then you get to choose who is in the front row. It allowed me to put my parents a little further from me, which I think allowed me to forgive them a little more. If I’m not as attached, I don’t feel so let down. I recognize their flaws a bit more clearly, and my bro’s and I have fun laughing at the things that used to really needle at us.
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Nov 18, 2019 23:18
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They see no issue with the little "jabs" they throw in the middle of their multi-paragraph pity screeds. "Here's a chance for you to do something good: forgive me." "I have enough love in me to forgive, do YOU have enough love in you?" My mom does that poo poo too and it's just like, why couldn't you have said all those nice things without the little "oh but also, gently caress you" thrown in? I don't know the word for it, maybe just 'dramatic' but I feel like her and a lot of these parents fall into a pattern of saying things because they SOUND powerful or deep or something. Maybe it's too much daytime television or something but they always seem to pick the most grandeur and exaggerated way of conveying things.
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Nov 19, 2019 00:26
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trickybiscuits posted:Was it enjoyable? It was funny in a cheap movie way, and it was interesting to watch something that felt literally like scene after scene plucked straight from this thread and molded into a Lifetime movie. Any enjoyment you'd get out of watching it, you'd probably get just from the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF6ulngqnMs
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Nov 19, 2019 00:28
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For a fun game, search the page with "I " to see the quoted sections light up like somebody turned on the christmas tree. First paragraph manages to say "I" 10 times in only 4 sentences!
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Nov 19, 2019 01:06
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Here's a thought I had. Are there any examples of the opposite of what is happening in this thread? For example there is a nice normal retired couple whose kids have long left the nest. But they keep getting phone calls and texts from their adult son snooping and interfering in their lives, and getting pissy when they want to be able to enjoy their lives without him, or aren't as appreciative of the Fathers day cologne that he bought them etc. I doubt there would be as many of these types of relationships because, (in my small experience), I have always thought that mummys boys, and daddies girls etc are always a co-dependent relationship where if the kid is clingy/over-involved then the parent is fully on board with it.
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Nov 19, 2019 01:27
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Is this a scenario where the narcissist focuses on the parents instead of children, or is it just where the child, not the parent is the problem? I'm not sure there is an exact opposite scenario. In my experience, these people fling their poo poo in every direction. I just imagine my stepmom as a child. She would unironically post that psycho mom screed on Facebook, and I hear her voice in a lot of these rejected parent forum posts. Her parents were relatively normal, from what I know, and they kept a lot of her worst behavior in check when she was young. They seemed to be very aware of her toxic personality and kept their distance. We only ever saw them at weddings or funerals. Stepmom would make a big show about seeing her "mommy and daddy" and then we wouldn't hear anything else about them for years. Another thought I had about that was these people aren't really interested in having and maintaining relationships. They don't seem to need that approval from mom and dad or any other direct family, unless they think it will get them a big inheritance or something.
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Nov 19, 2019 02:30
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BrigadierSensible posted:Here's a thought I had. Are there any examples of the opposite of what is happening in this thread? We have one like that in my family, a third cousin about my age. She's almost estranged from her immediate family, very low-contact; as I understand it, the distance is the family's idea. My cousin is pretty cool in a lot of ways, and a lot of fun, but she's overbearing when she's happy. According to her older sister, the last time they saw each other, they had a crazy screaming argument ended in a physical fight--these are women in their thirties. And the older one is not at all like that, she's one of the last people you'd ever imagine to get into a fight, so it had to be really bad. It's been a couple of years of low-contact, and the family doesn't seem to regret it. I mean, they're sorry that she can't be a part of their regular lives, but she's very, very unhappy and it's very tiring to deal with her.
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Nov 19, 2019 02:42
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At this point I admit it: I AM actually deriving pleasure from the misery of these estranged parents. I'm sure their kids aren't and it was only for their own safety that they cut off their parents. But watching from the sidelines I'm like hahahah rot you nasty old lady
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Nov 19, 2019 02:47
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Uncle Enzo posted:At this point I admit it: I AM actually deriving pleasure from the misery of these estranged parents. I'm sure their kids aren't and it was only for their own safety that they cut off their parents. But watching from the sidelines I'm like hahahah rot you nasty old lady Yeah, I mean, I think that's why I keep reading this thread. I hope their children are living happy, productive, rewarding lives without their parents.
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Nov 19, 2019 02:52
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I don't know if anyone chooses to have an impaired empathetic capacity or poor ability to self-reflect. Things happened in these people's lives that led them to become abominable parents (and likely abominable people generally), and their pain and confusion are fully experienced. Many of them probably do understand at some level that they've done wrong (do wrong). But they're incompetent, this is shown, and perhaps to recognize someone is incompetent means recognizing they might not be able to do any better. I think reading these can be therapeutic, to a point, and probably that vindictive pleasure (which I know too) can also be therapeutic, but ultimately the right feeling to land on is sympathy, because every part of this is tragedy.
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Nov 19, 2019 03:35
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trickybiscuits posted:I can say that she attended numerous proms and the one time I could not go to the dress shop with her, she shared this dialogue with me; “Mom all my friends were bringing me dresses, lots of dresses and none of them were right for me. Then I asked myself “what would my mom do?”and “I knew that you would look for an ivory colored gown and as soon as I realized that, I immediately found the perfect gown.” Any mother who wants her daughter to wear an ivory-colored prom dress deserves to be estranged. That poo poo is one bouquet from looking like you're getting married at prom
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Nov 19, 2019 03:52
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Antivehicular posted:Any mother who wants her daughter to wear an ivory-colored prom dress deserves to be estranged. That poo poo is one bouquet from looking like you're getting married at prom Married at prom is a juicy name for a record.
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Nov 19, 2019 03:57
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Literally A Person posted:Married at prom is a juicy name for a record. Isn’t prom night dumpster baby an actual song? 
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Nov 19, 2019 03:59
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Antivehicular posted:Any mother who wants her daughter to wear an ivory-colored prom dress deserves to be estranged. That poo poo is one bouquet from looking like you're getting married at prom My mom has her issues (she's working on them), but I always appreciate that she made my senior prom dress the way I wanted, except she talked me out of an almost-white fabric because, "No, you'll look like a child bride."
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Nov 19, 2019 04:09
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goldenninjawarrior posted:It was funny in a cheap movie way, and it was interesting to watch something that felt literally like scene after scene plucked straight from this thread and molded into a Lifetime movie. Any enjoyment you'd get out of watching it, you'd probably get just from the trailer: quote:Fortunately I’ve never gotten such a letter from my son, but I’ve done enough research on estrangement to have read these type of complaints in articles and forum posts about how horrible ECs parents were. Currently I’m reading a book called Into the Wild about a young man [Chris McCandless] who estranged himself from his family back in the early 90s and became almost a vagabond traveling around doing whatever caught his fancy. He ended up decided to go live off the land in Alaska in 1992 and starved to death. The book details how he couldn’t forgive his father for some indiscretions. McCandless's father was living a double life and having children with two different women. What the hell sort of family is it where that's "normal?!" (Also McCandless's sister later claimed that their parents were severely abusive but that doesn't appear in the book.)
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Nov 19, 2019 19:02
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trickybiscuits posted:what used to be considered the normal ups and downs of family life–and I’m NOT talking about abuse Somehow I think her estranged children are talking about abuse.
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Nov 19, 2019 19:37
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BrigadierSensible posted:Here's a thought I had. Are there any examples of the opposite of what is happening in this thread? I'm uncertain if my mom views our estrangent as her being confused as to why I'm distant or if she thinks "no surprise." I've overheard her joke about wanting to kill me, and she has lectured me a lot about how I'm not good enough and I clearly care about my friends more than family because I'm happier around them and do more with them than her. The last thing she said to me was she didn't want to talk to me until I didn't have Lyme disease anymore. I'm the black sheep who doesn't belong, but it's more that I escaped early by running away at 17 and turned out nothing like them. Big part of that was not beong allowed to see my boyfriend and when I said it wasn't fair because I loved him, she screamed at me about being raped by her brother at 13 to make me feel bad about being attracted to someone I guess? I don't even know what her point even was other than trying to make me feel guilty about it somehow?
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Nov 19, 2019 20:08
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To understand the boomer, you must first realize that they are all solipsists I'm 100% serious about this, every boomer I've ever interacted with has acted this way and I used to work in a field where the average age was like 60 so I've dealt with a lot of them
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Nov 19, 2019 20:18
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trickybiscuits posted:Wow, that's some quality cheese! Hahaha, go gently caress yourself you old rear end in a top hat. Speaking of, I saw a child psychologist twice when I was a kid after an incident. My parents were in the room the whole time and talked over/argued against anything I tried to say. I never understood whythey were allowed to both be in the room and to talk over me. When I asked my dad about this not too long ago, he insisted 'you wanted us to be there.' 
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Nov 19, 2019 21:42
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Double post.
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Nov 19, 2019 21:47
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LadyPictureShow posted:
because they were paying
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Nov 19, 2019 23:17
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I had the same conversation with my parents twice "Oh you never mentioned problems with us to (your counselor)" "Oh you never told (your counselor) you knew you were trans" Yeah cause even 10 year old me wasn't a loving idiot and half the time you were in the room
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Nov 19, 2019 23:34
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For some reason that reminded me of this bizarre power play my mom did when I was 15 and going through a severe untreated depressive episode (immediately prior to this event I spent about 2 weeks begging her to let me see a psychiatrist because it was obvious to myself and everyone around me that I needed professional, medication-driven help but apparently my uncontrollable mood episodes were my own fault) She bought a copy of some weird "how to parent your unruly teenager" book from a religious bookstore and brought it home, sat me down and told me I was not acting the way I should and I needed to improve, then she gave me the book so I could read it and do what it said The book essentially said "always submit to authority 100% and any problems that come out of this are divine punishment for your sins, also your parents must approve of your friends" which feels like it was designed to smooth your brain and shrink your social safety net for induction into a cult or at least a lifetime of horribly abusive relationships that you're too full of self-loathing to escape Of course when I brought this up a few years later as being extremely hosed up, she insisted it never happened and that I must have dreamed it, which is her go-to for retconning abuse and I think the industry standard for that sort of abuser, like a weird gaslighting thing where you make the victim question their most basic grasp on reality God drat this thread makes me angry, I wish we all had boring parents
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Nov 20, 2019 09:19
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'No one else has real problems, they're all made up for attention' is basically the ruling class attitude for like... ever.
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Nov 20, 2019 11:30
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blatman posted:Of course when I brought this up a few years later as being extremely hosed up, she insisted it never happened and that I must have dreamed it, which is her go-to for retconning abuse and I think the industry standard for that sort of abuser, like a weird gaslighting thing where you make the victim question their most basic grasp on reality My mom does this any time I bring up hosed up poo poo she did when I was a child. Not even the big stuff, just little poo poo like how she used to throw away my clothes she didn't like that I bought with my own money, or how she nailed my window open for an entire summer even though I had debilitating childhood astraphobia. She'll just say it never happened and then quickly change the subject. It's loving bonkers. Also it's super cringey to see how viscerally these people describe the pain their children inflict on them. "Bleeding, wounded, aching hearts" "reinfected" and so on. Grow up.
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Nov 20, 2019 15:46
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computer angel posted:Also it's super cringey to see how viscerally these people describe the pain their children inflict on them. "Bleeding, wounded, aching hearts" "reinfected" and so on. Grow up. Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that. It's probably just drama, that's the easy answer. They seem more sympathetic in their eyes if people think their estranged children are effectively giving them the Prometheus treatment.
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Nov 20, 2019 22:00
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