SardonicTyrant posted:

Jerking off in Party City
Jerking off in Party City
Jerking off in Party City
Gimme all your balloons
Extra Helie.

Outrail posted:

Not individually. The whole being greater than the sum yada yada. Someone got drunk and for some reason the forums lost their minds. Mostly because gbs is full of thirsty thirsty goons.

Hexigrammus posted:

We tried several bread makers cheap from the local thrift store. All of them went back except for the Zojirushi - it makes good bread. We have a relative with celiacs and it has no problems with the recipes he needs. If it ever dies I will cry a bit and spend the $$ to buy a new one.

It might be bigger than you like and new they are not cheap.

Steve Yun posted:

If it’s for personal use I think the 1 pound loaf zoji is a good size. I have trouble eating a 2 pound load before it goes bad

Nephzinho posted:

Oh to have your problems.

Crocoswine posted:

it was pinned and goldmined by burt too before it got gassed. GBS full of weird sex freaks way into ancient old lady boobs

Spanish Manlove posted:

It should have been gassed instead of enabled but whatever man

HerStuddMuffin posted:

Is there anything worth quoting in those 9 pages?

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Penis

Syd Midnight posted:

In 7th grade they gave us eggshells to babysit and carry around. I left mine laying around school so the when the teacher gave it back he'd scribbled all over it in black sharpie marker & said it had been molested, so points off but I still had to finish the assignment.

So I took my ugly molested egg child home and promptly sat on it. Looking inside the smashed shell I noticed the teacher had just made a little mark inside the hole at one end of the empty shell. I cunningly made another eggshell, put that mark inside, scribbled all over it in molester marker until it looked kinda the same, then painted it with my moms white nail polish, which could not fully hide the molestation scribbles but did obscure them enough for it to pass as my egg (just in case he, like, memorized the pattern of scribbles or put some code in it.) I told him "it went to therapy" and he bought it.

I am not sure what metaphorical lesson this was, but the part that felt weirdest was molester-scribbling on my newborn illegitimate child so it would be traumatized enough to pass for my real child, whom I had neglected and sat on.

AllNewJonasSalk posted:

At some point this kid thought to himself he’d probably like to gently caress Hitler, but then thought that would be gay and then voila, ”Knowing Female Hitler.”

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Spinster produces phenomenal content when she’s not having sad meltdowns or publicly lusting after goon dick. Sometimes even then.

I didn’t know she was still around. I was wondering about her just today.

Inceltown posted:

To be a good poster you need to fly close to the sun. That brings obvious dangers.

Inceltown posted:

To be a good poster you need to fly close to the sun. That brings obvious dangers.

Abugadu posted:

Dicarus.

Slugnoid posted:

https://i.imgur.com/8KzHWyO.jpg

Krankenstyle posted:

what

Slugnoid posted:

its not work safe

Pastry of the Year posted:

sebmojo posted:

Took me a moment

Jim Silly-Balls posted:

I saw someone irl wearing pewdiepie merch today and it was the most embarrassed I’ve ever been

President Beep posted:

reflective store windows: a common risk you take when holiday shopping

sebmojo posted:

Took me a moment

FactsAreUseless posted:

Yeah for a second I was like "oh, I'm halfway there" and then it clicked with me and I was like "ohhh, standing on the chair!"

FactsAreUseless posted:

"ohhh, standing on the chair!"

FactsAreUseless posted:

Yeah for a second I was like "oh, I'm halfway there" and then it clicked with me and I was like "ohhh, standing on the chair!"

FactsAreUseless posted:

Yeah for a second I was like "oh, I'm halfway there" and then it clicked with me and I was like "ohhh, livin' on a prayer!"

Rust Martialis posted:

Fixt

Rust Martialis posted:

Fixt

Rust Martialis posted:

Fixt

EorayMel posted:

Cut my quotes into pieces
This is my last repost

FactsAreUseless posted:

Clam down at the bum boat, it wasn't even a good joke lmao

BrutalistMcDonalds posted:

PETE BUTTIGIEG'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT

JULIAN CASTRO is drunk, nursing a glass of scotch while he lounges in a comfortable chair covered in a tarp, newspaper spread out on the floor of the living room. A lit cigar burns in an ashtray on an end table, also covered. PETE BUTTIGIEG walks briskly toward an expensive stereo set and pulls out a CD.

BUTTIGIEG
Do you like Panic at the Disco?

CASTRO
(Sluggish) They're okay.

BUTTIGIEG
Their early work was a little too emo for my taste. But when Vices & Virtues came out in 2011, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically.

Buttigieg hurries into the bathroom, grabbing a raincoat and putting it on, and grabs an axe while continuing to exclaim about Panic at the Disco while returning to the living room.

BUTTIGIEG
(Excitedly) The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. They have been compared to Fall Out Boy, but I think Panic at the Disco has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

CASTRO
Hey Beto.

BUTTIGIEG
Yes, Julian?

CASTRO
Why are there copies of the style section all over the place, do you have a dog? A little chow or something?

BUTTIGIEG
No, Julian.

CASTRO
Is that a raincoat?

Buttigieg returns to the stereo, hits play as Panic at the Disco fills the room.

BUTTIGIEG
Yes it is! In 2018, Panic at the Disco released this, Pray for the Wicked, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is High Hopes, a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.

Buttigieg raises axe above his head.

BUTTIGIEG
Hey Julian.

Buttigieg drives the axe into Castro's skull.

BUTTIGIEG
(Screaming) Try getting into the debates now you loving stupid bastard! You, loving bastard!

Outrail posted:

Can someone PLEASE explain to me why standing on an unstable office chair isn't safe for work?

E: Ohhhhh I get it now. Not safe for work lol!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

If goons could stop being so funny in this thread that I think to myself "darn, I better quote these for the Funny Forums Quotes thread" only to realize I'm already here, that would be great.