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Unoriginal Name posted:Qui-Gon just straight up abandoning Shmi Skywalker to die in slavery and Anakin never bothering to free her is pretty loving hilarious considering they are the law enforcement of the Old Republic Qui-Gon not giving a poo poo about literal actual slavery is an important note in the idea that the Jedi are terrible and are reaponsible for their own demise. See: basically everything else the Jedi do in TPM.
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Jan 3, 2020 00:50
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The Little Death posted:
Tag yourself. I'm the Still-Winning Smile.
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Jan 3, 2020 00:51
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I'm Independent, which I bet means Space Libertarian.
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Jan 3, 2020 00:52
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I'm the brand of heroics that is towards the end of becoming wealthy enough to be unconcerned about the conflict between the rebel alliance and the empire
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Jan 3, 2020 00:52
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The Little Death posted:Yeah, I don't see where it ever said Jedi were Paladins. They're very Buddhism 101 and the path to the dark-side is all emotions, not just "evil" ones. ESB is very clear on that, what fucks everything up for Luke is the idea that he can change destiny at all. I'm not really sure where you're getting this from a movie in which Yoda says that anger, fear, and aggression are the Dark Side, and that he can't see what will happen if Luke leaves to help his friends because "always in motion, the future is".
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Jan 3, 2020 00:54
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Jan 3, 2020 00:55
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I'm the mysterious whispers of a resurgent enemy from the past fully six years after lando's child was kidnapped by the first order
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Jan 3, 2020 01:00
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I want everyone to appreciate that, in declaring that Chewbacca disavows any particular ideology and simply fights for the rag-tag band he considers his adopted family, they have inadvertently turned him into a murderhobo.
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Jan 3, 2020 01:04
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lmao
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Jan 3, 2020 01:05
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Pollyanna posted:It is easily the funniest part. "Finally! I kissed an actual real female girl! Now I can die happy!" So he did.
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Jan 3, 2020 01:39
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Halloween Jack posted:I can't help but be curious about when they're going to make media set post-Episode IX, because the way they hosed around with the setting really makes it anything-goes from there on out. Are there any more remnants of the Empire left? Is there a New New Republic? Is Rey gonna start another Jedi temple? Was R2-D2 just piloted by porgs the whole time? How about Forcepocalypse Now? If you're willing to accept some of Rian Johnson's take, the Force is much closer to people and much easier to access without training. But the rules are still basically the rules. Using the Force in conjunction with strong, negative emotions has a corrupting effect on people. So, instead of the Jedi and the Sith, two philosophies vying for recruits, you have a disorganized mess of people with magic/superpowers, most of whom are basically evil because they start out toss a rock at somebody telekinetically and rapidly get to "This is the dick you need to suck." There's actually plenty of stuff they could still do. Maybe jump it fifty years into the future where there is no Republic or Empire and it's just Mad Max in Space. Have Helen Mirren playing Old Lady Rey, who's exhausted herself having to chase down these maniacs with Denzel Washington playing Old Man Finn who lost the love of his life, Poe to these monster. Now Rey and Finn try to train up a few decent Force-users to track down some kind of super-thingie to put the Force back the gently caress to sleep before the chief psychopathic, Luuke (a clone of Luke Skywalker (who acts like the Sith version of The Joker) made from Luke's severed hand from Cloud City) manages to seize ultimate power and plunge the galaxy into madness forever.
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Jan 3, 2020 02:09
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I'm Balthazar because apparently Lando has a middle loving name.
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Jan 3, 2020 02:35
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jisforjosh posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwVBYhQ81js This rules
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Jan 3, 2020 02:39
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pzy posted:This rules Wow, the JJ cut is out already?!
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Jan 3, 2020 02:44
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Hobo Clown posted:It was the silliest death too. He's not bloody or coughing, no real struggle, he doesn't even seem that tired. They kiss and then he just lies down and quickly fades away. And of course they had to make sure his body disappeared immediately because they'd just established that Jedis can bring people back to life. It's lucky that Rey the ultimate light-side user didn't vanish that fast! Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much! It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
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Jan 3, 2020 02:44
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Everyone posted:How about Forcepocalypse Now? If you're willing to accept some of Rian Johnson's take, the Force is much closer to people and much easier to access without training. But the rules are still basically the rules. Using the Force in conjunction with strong, negative emotions has a corrupting effect on people. So, instead of the Jedi and the Sith, two philosophies vying for recruits, you have a disorganized mess of people with magic/superpowers, most of whom are basically evil because they start out toss a rock at somebody telekinetically and rapidly get to "This is the dick you need to suck." lol we're not getting LUUKE but it'd own to have Mark Hamill eat scenery as an evil emperor
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Jan 3, 2020 02:46
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pzy posted:This rules Hard agree. The music takes it to a better level, but that's actually one of the few moments I legit loved. Ben's reveal of the lightsaber, and then he executes a perfect Solo style cocky shrug. It's a super simple moment that Driver nails and was an actual fun twist based on established rules that we know about and understand.
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Jan 3, 2020 02:52
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well why not posted:lol we're not getting LUUKE but it'd own to have Mark Hamill eat scenery as an evil emperor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agcc7w8YmHo
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Jan 3, 2020 02:59
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General Dog posted:Why is there no label for his pimp cane? um I believe you mean "Ebon Swagger Stick (Extra Long)"
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Jan 3, 2020 03:04
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Ok, so: -When read as a sequel to Episode 8, ROS is an unmitigated failure. -When read as a sequel to Episode 7 (skipping over Episode 8), ROS is a slightly-mitigated failure. -When read as the final film of the full Disney trilogy, it’s full-on disastrous. -And, when read as the final film of an ostensible 9-film SaGa, it’s an astonishing debacle that will resonate through the ages. Just absolute crap. More than enough has been written along these lines. HOWEVER: Unlearn what you have learned. It’s a difficult task, but tune out all the previous Disney films. Clear all that baggage. We don’t need dumb plots and bad twists. Imagine that Rise Of Skywalker is the first and only new Star Wars film, picking up after Episode 3. What is its story? What the gently caress is going on? We begin in media res with the old war in a new phase. After death of the Emperor, the Empire has split into multiple warring states - the most powerful of which is known as the First Order, a group of ex-Imperials led by the barbarian Knights Of Ren. Han and Luke are dead, offscreen. Leia has spent some decades continuing their work, but the Republic has simply not been restored. Her forces are dwindling as the Knights gain power. Then: “the dead speak! The galaxy has heard a mysterious broadcast, a threat of revenge in the sinister voice of the late Emperor Palpatine.” What broadcast are they referring to? Surely not some videogame promotional tie-in, because that would be stupid. How about this: “The Jedi rebellion has been foiled.... The remaining Jedi will be hunted down and defeated. The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed... but, I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger!” That’s from Episode 3 - which is chronologically the distant past, yet happens after Episode 6 in the narrative. Palpatine is dead at the end of the third Star Wars film. Palpatine is alive at the end of the third Star Wars film. The past and the present, OT and PT, have collapsed into eachother. Now undead, Palpatine will rule the Galaxy from a surreal hell planet. Leia has been training Rey, who is figuratively a female Luke and literally the same person as barbarian leader Kylo Ren. The logic of the “Force Dyad” is straight Fight Club: Kylo Ren is presented as this spectral presence from the hell dimension, never seen interacting with anyone else outside his realm. He’s in her head and he in his. Kylo and Rey are also, collectively, the reincarnation of Palpatine because why not? In dismissing this as simply bad, people are severely downplaying how insane it all is. Identity in this film is fluid and abstract beyond imagining. Familial relationships cease to make sense altogether. Leia merges her mind with Kylo’s before Rey stabs him. This kills Leia’s body, as we see, but she has uploaded herself into Kylo’s head - and communicates to him in the guise of Han. So to repeat, for those not keeping track: Harrison Ford plays Princess Leia, disguised as Han Solo, inside the mind of Kylo Ren - who is himself inside the mind of Rey, who is her own grandpa. At the end of the film, Rey also pays respect to Owen and Beru Lars, therefore literally becoming the female Luke she figuratively was at the start. This is the good poo poo. This is the Zardoz poo poo. If you want to do something to undermine “bloodlines”, this is miles beyond just saying Rey’s folks were poor. Other stuff is less important. Yes all the action scenes suck. Yes, entire sections of the film are obviously presented in the wrong order, as if they got the reels mixed up. But this contributes to the idea that the usual laws of chronology no longer apply, and the storytelling becomes analogous to how the Falcon now travels exclusively by smashing directly into multiple planets at full speed. Other gripes I’ve heard are more silly. The point of Chewie not-dying is that he is ferried to the metaphorical hell dimension with the other undead, for example. SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Jan 3, 2020 |
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Jan 3, 2020 05:26
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-nMGtaAoXw
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Jan 3, 2020 05:50
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Hobo Clown posted:It was the silliest death too. He's not bloody or coughing, no real struggle, he doesn't even seem that tired. They kiss and then he just lies down and quickly fades away. And of course they had to make sure his body disappeared immediately because they'd just established that Jedis can bring people back to life. It's lucky that Rey the ultimate light-side user didn't vanish that fast! Sudden-onset loss-of-will-to-live is a genetic disorder that affects all the descendants of Padme. It's really tragic seeing Kylo die of the same disease that claimed his mother and uncle.
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Jan 3, 2020 06:10
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a giant stone head of bearded luke skywalker drifts across the galaxy vomiting up star wars merch onto people
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Jan 3, 2020 06:17
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That take is infinitely better than the actual movie.
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Jan 3, 2020 06:41
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I wish SMG had a Disney budget.
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Jan 3, 2020 06:45
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After jivjov and SMG we only need the Cnut review and we can close this thread.
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Jan 3, 2020 06:47
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Dying is the easy way out. I wanted to see Ben Solo try to atone for the sins of Kylo Ren. Forget killing his father, he held a leadership position in the First Order, which blew up several planets and probably had a body count in the billions. Let him face justice, whatever that would have been.
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Jan 3, 2020 06:58
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Konstantin posted:Dying is the easy way out. I wanted to see Ben Solo try to atone for the sins of Kylo Ren. Forget killing his father, he held a leadership position in the First Order, which blew up several planets and probably had a body count in the billions. Let him face justice, whatever that would have been. It's too messy, same as Vader. It's easier to rehabilitate someone who died defeating the ultimate evil than someone who's a living reminder of every evil thing he did before that. I'd like to see how that might be handled, but I don't think Star Wars as a franchise or Disney as a company have anything in the toolbox to deal with something like that.
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Jan 3, 2020 07:03
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Konstantin posted:Dying is the easy way out. I wanted to see Ben Solo try to atone for the sins of Kylo Ren. Forget killing his father, he held a leadership position in the First Order, which blew up several planets and probably had a body count in the billions. Let him face justice, whatever that would have been. It would probably involve dying
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Jan 3, 2020 07:14
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Sinteres posted:It's too messy, same as Vader. It's easier to rehabilitate someone who died defeating the ultimate evil than someone who's a living reminder of every evil thing he did before that. I'd like to see how that might be handled, but I don't think Star Wars as a franchise or Disney as a company have anything in the toolbox to deal with something like that. Disney did the Maleficent movies, but that more that they have the tools to build the tools to build the tools thing more than anything else. Really I don't want to see another big/epic Star Wars movie for another ten years or so.
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Jan 3, 2020 07:14
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Zas posted:just everything about the way the movie organizes and deals with time is insane, not just the cutting but also the way scenes are played. i've never seen anything like it, so i guess that's something My favorite part of this is at the end. Lando and Poe leave the forest place at the same exact time. Lando shows up to the fight to save Poe about what 10 minutes after Poe gets there? In that 10 minutes he managed to recruit literally thousands of ships and get them ready to come fight in a suicide run against a thousand Star Destroyers. I know its a stupid nitpick but it's part of the JJ thing where time and space have no meaning that always bugs me.
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Jan 3, 2020 07:38
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YaketySass posted:After jivjov and SMG we only need the Cnut review and we can close this thread. Cnut’s review: “They should’ve killed the dog.”
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Jan 3, 2020 07:55
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I'd have liked to see Finn training in the force and at first you think it's going to be the cliché thing where he's told to take his jacket off 1000 times and sweep the floor etc until he throws a fit etc, except he drives the teacher mad by just doing it unquestioningly because he used to be a storm trooper and has followed dumber orders for longer.
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Jan 3, 2020 08:19
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Uncle Wemus posted:a giant stone head of bearded luke skywalker drifts across the galaxy vomiting up star wars merch onto people
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Jan 3, 2020 08:20
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SuperMechagodzilla posted:-And, when read as the final film of an ostensible 9-film SaGa, it’s an astonishing debacle that will resonate through the ages. Just absolute crap. Alternate music for the Palpatine Boss Battle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--aiQkxvpj0
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Jan 3, 2020 08:47
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well why not posted:I wish SMG had a Disney budget. THE GATCHA IS GOOD. THE PENIS IS EVIL.
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Jan 3, 2020 09:59
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Pollyanna posted:That take is infinitely better than the actual movie. It is the actual movie. Canon is an illusion. If they can retcon Episode 8 nearly out of existence, we can simply take that a small step further. Sure, there’s exposition about Crait, and “I killed Snoke”, but whatever. It’s a nest of gundarks. By simply approaching this as a stand-alone film, we change what those things mean. Who’s Snoke? Some other warlord. Again: what is the story? Rey has visions in her head of a dark figure. He seemingly communicates to her through her training remote. She has evidently lived with this voice in her head for years and, when she tries to fight it, innocent people get hurt. She’s just crushed a droid with a tree. Rey is unstable, and Leia is her weirdo psychic therapist. “Don’t be afraid of who you are”, in this context, means to explore whatever traumatic event left Rey’s identity split. Like, suddenly the character is interesting - because, instead of being bereft of a personality, she has too many. Rey, Palpatine, Rey Palpatine, Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, etc. When Kylo Ren is understood as literally the same person as Rey, things become appreciably stranger. Like, Rey’s parents were stabbed to death by a mysterious stranger under orders from the devil? Well, it turns out Ben Solo’s parents were also coincidentally stabbed to death... by Kylo, and Rey. The Force Dyad. Literally one person, under orders from the devil. The film’s a clusterfuck, but interesting things have emerged from the chaos. They’ve unwittingly generated the unavoidable implication that Rey killed her own parents. SuperMechagodzilla fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Jan 3, 2020 |
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Jan 3, 2020 14:45
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SuperMechagodzilla posted:It is the actual movie. Canon is an illusion. If they can retcon Episode 8 nearly out of existence, we can simply take that a small step further. While this fanfic is entertaining, part of the point of Rey is that she kind of doesn't have a personality because she's so crushed down by duties and expectations of others and herself. In TFA, grown woman's body or not, Rey is still the eight year old girl waiting for her mommy and daddy to come for her. She spends much of the movie trying to discharge her obligations with BB-8, Finn and the Resistance so she can get back to Jakku and wait even more for people who are never coming back. In TLJ she's dutifully trying to learn the ways of the Jedi from Luke, who is trying to teach her the pitfalls of the Jedi, to help her find a new, less flawed way to understand the Force. She feels guilty for her attraction to Kylo not out of sexual shame, but because it's distracting her from her job. In RoS the revelation of her heritage pushes on her the duty to try to resist her "heritage." At the end she buries the lightsabers on Tatooine to honor Luke and Leia but also to follow Kylo's suggestion to put the past to rest. She calls herself a Skywalker, but she's now free to define what that means to her, to truly choose her own path without "duties" forcing her to go one way or another. One of the annoying aspects of this is that we'll never really get to know who Rey was going to choose to be.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:49
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Those other acronyms are proven bad & NON CANON. We’re in the future now.
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Jan 3, 2020 16:58
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feedmyleg posted:plus they have the benefit of hindsight looking at Mark and Carrie's careers for the 20 years post-ROTJ. What does this even mean? They were both working actors before the films, and had successful careers after. Hamill did some films, Broadway, and a bunch of voice work. Fisher continued acting and was an incredibly successful script doctor.
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Jan 3, 2020 18:27
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