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Boba Fett lost his balls escaping the Sarlacc.
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Jan 22, 2020 16:24
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Jazerus posted:He's got his own planet, This same book also features Han using a date rape gun on Leia
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Jan 22, 2020 16:27
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Jose Oquendo posted:Corran Horn, when the hackiest writer literally combines Luke and Han to create the ultimate Mary Sue character. I liked that Corran was hopeless with telekinesis though. Made for some fun moments when he had to work around it Basically Corran is better in I, Jedi than he is in the rogue squadron books
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Jan 22, 2020 16:27
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Hazo posted:Horse was this darkstryder because it looks like darkstryder
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Jan 22, 2020 16:30
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StashAugustine posted:This same book also features Han using a date rape gun on Leia That book is so bad I don't understand what the rope snake thing was, either
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Jan 22, 2020 16:36
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Pick posted:Chewbacca was killed by a moon falling on him gently caress that. I really enjoyed reading the EU in all its trashy glory until that happened. The whole yuzzan vong plot was dumb and bad. Wasn't there also a older star wars book with ~~~ outside the galaxy~~~ aliens and they were just dinosaurs that powered their ships with some life essence bullshit? Also the whole bug trilogy and the bug orgy with han solo's daughter
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Jan 22, 2020 16:38
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han and leia's kids get absorbed by a bug hivemind and have telepathic group sex with giant centipedes efb
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Jan 22, 2020 16:39
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Also the Solo kids thought a good Mother's Day present for Leia would be to go snag a boulder from the blown up bits of Alderaan
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Jan 22, 2020 16:39
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IG-88 took over the second Death Star and used it to prank the Emperor.
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Jan 22, 2020 16:41
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The storm trooper guy from as new hope that is all "look sir, droids" was apparently a guy that all by himself figured out that AT-ATs were a dumbass design when he was training in them and had his AT-AT kneel down so it wouldn't get tripped and instead of being rewarded for pointing out the weakness, the dude in charge kept it classified and shipped him off to Tatooine. Oh also the same guy is responsible for everyone being able to leave on the Millennium Falcon in a new hope cuz he shot his officer in the back.
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Jan 22, 2020 16:48
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An actual other Corran Horn fact. He was imprisoned in a imperial whatever and it ends up it's actually a Super Star Destroyer built into the cityscape of coruscant, upside down though so no one can escape cuz if they go up they actually go down and when the Super Star Destroyer is turned on it kills like 7 Milllion people that were living in the buildings on top of and surrounding it
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Jan 22, 2020 16:59
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Casu Marzu posted:An actual other Corran Horn fact. He was imprisoned in a imperial whatever and it ends up it's actually a Super Star Destroyer built into the cityscape of coruscant, upside down though so no one can escape cuz if they go up they actually go down and when the Super Star Destroyer is turned on it kills like 7 Milllion people that were living in the buildings on top of and surrounding it Also there's a mini blaster hidden in the complete history of corvis minor...I think that's the name. Anyway in every single copy of that book. Though I think that was first written in the thrawn trilogy when Mara was in the imperial palace.
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Jan 22, 2020 17:09
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StashAugustine posted:This same book also features Han using a date rape gun on Leia Hazo posted:No Leia starts to fall for the prince but Han goes on a jealous booze-fueled sabacc bender until he wins a planet, then kidnaps Leia to it and Stockholms her into loving him while Luke and the prince team up to find them and they all ride rancors and Luke gets kidnapped by a hot young witch who eventually marries the prince and the evil main witch makes Han’s teeth explode.
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Jan 22, 2020 17:11
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Oh poo poo I forgot about that whole Han's teeth explode cuz there's Real Actual Force Witches on Dathomir. The Real Actual Force Witches also rode rancors cuz why not.
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Jan 22, 2020 17:14
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Corran Horn was also the guy with the super special lightsaber that could change its length up to 3 meters.
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Jan 22, 2020 17:17
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ThingOne posted:Corran Horn was also the guy with the super special lightsaber that could change its length up to 3 meters. no it was one of the other apprentices in the Jedi academy books who built the first one and also turned evil. Corran attempted to build a super special adjustable one in I, Jedi but he accidentally used bad crystals and one of them blew up, so he went with a regular size
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Jan 22, 2020 17:21
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Zoran posted:no it was one of the other apprentices in the Jedi academy books who built the first one and also turned evil. Corran attempted to build a super special adjustable one in I, Jedi but he accidentally used bad crystals and one of them blew up, so he went with a regular size That was Gantoris. The Great Sith Lord Exar Kun taught him how to make it cuz he was a dark force ghost inside the temple on Yavin 4.
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Jan 22, 2020 17:28
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ThingOne posted:Corran Horn was also the guy with the super special lightsaber that could change its length up to 3 meters. Edit: Gantoris Edit 2: gently caress
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Jan 22, 2020 17:30
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Just wanted to post that I, too, remember that time Corran Horn mentioned loving an otter.
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Jan 22, 2020 17:35
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Exar Cum
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Jan 22, 2020 17:36
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IG 88 installed himself on the second Death Star so he can use it blow up both fleets to kickstart the droid rebellion
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Jan 22, 2020 17:38
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Wes Janson (Wedge’s snowspeeder gunner from Empire) was a furry who hosed goat people
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Jan 22, 2020 17:43
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Zoran posted:no it was one of the other apprentices in the Jedi academy books who built the first one and also turned evil. Corran attempted to build a super special adjustable one in I, Jedi but he accidentally used bad crystals and one of them blew up, so he went with a regular size Hazo posted:I thought that was the guy in the Jedi academy trilogy who got Force buffs from the ghost of Exar Kun (who haunts yavin 4) and turned evil and challenged Luke to a fight so he could show off his sick length-changing lightsaber apprentices shouldn’t be able to build. I cannot remember his name. He definitely had a dual phase lightsaber. I remember he used it to stab a a Yuuzhan Vong in the eye in Dark Tide Part 1. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Corran_Horn%27s_lightsaber quote:It was a Dual-phase lightsaber, capable of increasing its length to three meters when twisted to bring its second set of crystals into alignment. Because Corran Horn has to have all the special things.
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Jan 22, 2020 17:46
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ThingOne posted:He definitely had a dual phase lightsaber. I remember he used it to stab a a Yuuzhan Vong in the eye in Dark Tide Part 1. well, poo poo  look how smug he is building that lightsaber
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Jan 22, 2020 17:48
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Casu Marzu posted:Oh poo poo I forgot about that whole Han's teeth explode cuz there's Real Actual Force Witches on Dathomir. The Real Actual Force Witches also rode rancors cuz why not. Rancor-riding force witches were a unit in Empire at War and I figured it was just some dumb poo poo they made up for that game alone lol.
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Jan 22, 2020 18:20
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Jose Oquendo posted:Exar Cum freedom nads
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Jan 22, 2020 18:21
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Jabba the Hutt has given birth.
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Jan 22, 2020 18:22
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Casu Marzu posted:gently caress that. I really enjoyed reading the EU in all its trashy glory until that happened. The whole yuzzan vong plot was dumb and bad. Wasn't there also a older star wars book with ~~~ outside the galaxy~~~ aliens and they were just dinosaurs that powered their ships with some life essence bullshit? yeah the lizard people were awesome though
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Jan 22, 2020 18:28
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Prince Xizor was the biggest goon fantasy with super intellect, swole body, and gently caress hormone spray and still managed to not have sex with leia
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Jan 22, 2020 18:45
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Hutts fight each other by slamming each other with their giant tails. Jabba was considered particularly fat, sedentary, and hedonistic for a Hutt.
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Jan 22, 2020 18:53
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 You can tell from Leia's expression in both of these that she's wondering how her life got to this point
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Jan 22, 2020 19:13
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CrazyLoon posted:Just wanted to post that I, too, remember that time Corran Horn mentioned loving an otter. not only loving an otter, but finding out afterwards that he was allergic to the otter, and the otter was allergic to him. sexually transmitted hives.
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Jan 22, 2020 19:17
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Brute Squad posted:not only loving an otter, but finding out afterwards that he was allergic to the otter, and the otter was allergic to him. That part actually gave it a sense of normalcy for me. And those cringy lightsaber fights are a massive downgrade from the science fact of how Leia killed Jabba, even counting the skimpy outfit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfjs6Rglx08 CrazyLoon fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Jan 22, 2020 |
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Jan 22, 2020 21:18
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Dapper_Swindler posted:also the lady in charge of death star prototype was Peter cushings gently caress toy and she eventually becomes president. I thought he was a homosexual and had a stormtrooper rentboy?
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Jan 22, 2020 21:38
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why not both?
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Jan 22, 2020 21:42
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Shbobdb posted:I thought he was a homosexual and had a stormtrooper rentboy? maybe he was bi. idk. he had a wife but she was some battleaxe from house Tagge and genuinely got upset when her hubby got vaporized. so she had a super laser built in his name. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Thalassa_Tarkin
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Jan 22, 2020 22:08
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StashAugustine posted:han and leia's kids get absorbed by a bug hivemind and have telepathic group sex with giant centipedes Casu Marzu posted:Also the Solo kids thought a good Mother's Day present for Leia would be to go snag a boulder from the blown up bits of Alderaan said bug hivemind was native to alderaan might be a connection, might not be
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Jan 22, 2020 23:28
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so han and leia have 3 kids. jason, jania and anakin. anakin gets his face eaten on a sucide mission against the space aliens that are masochist/sadist japanese fuckers who use biological tech. jason becomes an asetic, gets tortured, becomes one with the force, has a kid, becomes evil, murders lukes wife, than gets mirked. jania is a womanchild whiles still 40.
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Jan 22, 2020 23:48
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Pretty sure in one of the books, Lando Calrissian sets up a space go-kart course using TIE Bombers and the pilots fly through the floating debris of Alderaan.
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Jan 22, 2020 23:59
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Lando built a city that was carried on the backs of surplus AT-ATs so I could definitely see that.
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Jan 23, 2020 00:02
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