CampingCarl posted:

we want YOU to free ross.
bring a helicopter or materials for a helicopter.

CampingCarl posted:

fry ross?

DerekSmartymans posted:

I’m partial to “frostisory.”free Ross for $7 at Kroger.

Mammon Loves You posted:

"As a libertarian, I..."

Mammon Loves You posted:

"As a libertarian, ...!"

Weatherman posted:

Anticheese posted:

Does anyone have the Hall of Cooks analogy text on hand?

Anticheese posted:

Does anyone have the Hall of Cooks analogy text on hand?

rjmccall posted:

look, it's simple. you have a Happy Burger brand fast food establishment, and sometimes kids come in and want their Happy Burger brand Happy Kiddy Burger, which according to the Happy Burger brand franchise operating instructions is supposed to be 4oz of usda utility grade hamburger lightly grilled and pressed into a poppy seed bun with two slices of mild pickle and a slice of tomato and a piece of iceberg lettuce and the name of the kid written on the top in half an ounce of Happy Burger brand special sauce about which the less said the better

so naturally what you do is, you post an ad saying, cooks wanted, please bring your own grill and meat and bun and pickle and tomato and lettuce, we'll supply the sauce

and you get an applicant, and you send him down to the Hall of Cooks, which is a featureless infinite plane that you keep in the unlit basement of your Happy Burger brand fast food establishment. and you tell him to just keep making burgers and handing them up, and if he hands up a burger that satisfies your standards, you'll pay him a bonus, which is $100,000, plus the price of the burger, which is $.50

now the cook can't see too good down there, and he keeps handing up burgers that are more like pickly meatballs with a swastika painted on the side in tomato sauce, but as long as the meat's cooked the health department won't shut you down, so you keep taking them and dutifully handing down briefcases of cash with a few quarters tossed in. and the cook's pretty happy, even after you summarily declare one day that you're only going to pay $50,000 per burger in the future

so the cook calls in a friend, and she sets up in the Hall of Cooks and starts handing up burgers, and now you're getting acceptable burgers faster than you can sell them. so you raise your standards a bit, and you insist that burgers have to be on a bun, and that cuts production back down to a manageable rate. but the cooks are still pretty happy, even after you cut the burger bonus again to $25,000

this goes on for a while, and now you've got a hundred cooks down there, and you've started demanding that they spell out the kid's name correctly, and that's not easy. so now they're not just making burgers to your increasingly exact specifications, they're racing each other to be the first to get the kid's name right. but you're still paying $5,000 a burger, and apparently the cooks are still happy, because more and more keep showing up

you get curious one day while you're squeezing into your franchise past the giant mountain of rotting discarded hamburgers, and you head down to the Hall of Cooks. the last time you came down here, there were only six cooks, and they were just standing around in a disorganized circle; but now they're organized into these large groups. in one of them, you find your first cook, and he shakes your hand. "remember when we'd just started out and i was lumping up store meat by hand and cooking it on that tiny old george foreman?", he laughs. "that was before figured out cookie cutters and rolling pins." he's standing at a huge professional-grade charbroiler with twenty-four different patties arranged on it; suddenly, in a single efficient flash of movement, he flips them all over. of course, the dull glow of the grill isn't enough in the utter blackness of the Hall, and most of the patties end up on the ground, which you suddenly realize is a lot spongier than it's supposed to be. also, doesn't the ceiling seem lower? you shake it off and head back upstairs to start taking orders, wondering when it'll be the right time to cut the bonus to $1,000

it's been another year. there are tens of thousands of cooks in your basement. you're rejecting burgers for sloppy handwriting. you're rejecting burgers for having too thick a slice of tomato. you're rejecting burgers for excessively clustered poppy seeds. seven months ago, the cooks started building floor-to-ceiling ovens with internal robotics custom-designed for making Happy Kiddy Burgers; now there are whole fields of them, each making ten thousand burgers a second. of course, it's still pitch-dark down there, and the cooks aren't exactly susan calvin, so almost all of those burgers get added straight to the end of the Great Greasy Mountains, but it's amazing how quick they come now. you overhear a few of the cooks talking excitedly about the orders they just placed for massive new ovens from Barbecue Labs. you don't know how any of them can afford this when the burger bonus is only $100

three months ago, you politely asked whether they could start making the adult Happy Burgers, too

for an entire day, all the burgers had your name written on top in poison

quote:

rjmccall posted:
business is booming, and you can't explain it. the neighborhood is swarming with burger shacks: there's already a Merry Burger next door, a Joy Burger on the corner, and a Bliss Burger across the street. but you can't complain, because your customers are still lining up out the door for a Happy Burger

actually, that line's been on your mind a lot for the last year. you'd love to serve more customers, but you're already at capacity

the problem's not downstairs. you checked with the cooks, very carefully, and were pleasantly surprised to find that they were enthusiastic about the idea of servicing a few more orders. they'd handle it easily, they said. you wouldn't even need to give up on radial seed symmetry, which you've become particularly proud of

no, the problem is upstairs. the Happy Consolidated Food Practices Inc happy franchisee policy guidebook is quite firm on the subject of cash registers. you can have three, it says, just three, no matter how big your restaurant is or how many customers you have or how noisy they get in the parking lot. and the Valued Happy Team Member operating the register cannot skip any words from the Happy Welcome Greeting, or smile for less than .8 seconds, or fail to press the Big Happy Button. otherwise the entire franchise might get Revoked

you went to Corporate once, to try to talk some sense into them

the first person you met with got really angry. "three registers is how Mr. Happy wanted it," she retorted. "if you can't accept that you should just open a Joy Burger". you quickly apologized and slunk out of the room

the second person heard about five words before he interrupted. "we get that question a lot," he said, "but the solution is not to add more cash registers. the role of Happy Burger shouldn't be to sell individual burgers to customers. we should be selling burgers by the truckload to Merry Burger. if we did that, you wouldn't care about only having three registers." you saw the glint in his eye, so you just shook his hand enthusiastically and tried to get away. as you backed out of his office, you knocked over a pile of pamphlets; they all had the Merry Burger logo

the third person just sighed. "i agree completely," she said, "and i've been trying to do that for years. i've given up. this is my last day". she stood and grabbed her purse. "if you really want to understand this place, try opening the green door"

after that you were alone. you wandered around the building, looking for the door, but it was late in the day when you finally walked past it in the courtyard, the paint weathered and peeling, the wood splintered. you almost decided to come back the next day, but at the last minute, you reached out to turn the handle. the door creaked open to reveal a dark, cramped staircase. you lit your lantern and went down

it was an unlit infinite plane. at first you thought it was some sort of warehouse, because all you could see were pale white filing boxes, stretching out indefinitely in one direction. but then you heard a faint clattering in the distance. you started off along the wall of boxes towards the noise

soon you found a man, sitting at a desk reading a book by the light of a computer screen. as you watched, his computer beeped, and an image appeared on the screen: a receipt from a Happy Burger restaurant. he seemed to read it and quickly pressed a few buttons; the computer paused, then flashed green. the man turned back to his book

you passed more desks. many were empty, but others were occupied much like the first. all the clerks seemed bored. a pair of clerks lucky enough to be seated near each other were talking when suddenly the bell rang. you noticed with surprise that it had rung for both of them at once, and that they seemed to be reading the same receipt

eventually you stopped paying attention to the clerks at the desks. the clattering had grown louder and seemed to be coming from further down the wall of boxes. as you walked, you looked closer; each box was labeled, carefully and at length, but in some strange and alien script

all at once you reached the end of the wall. there, sitting at a wooden desk, was another clerk. on his desk was screen, like all the others; but beside it was a fantastic contraption, ten feet across and twenty feet high, the like of which you had never seen before. the clerk was leaning back in his chair, resting, the machine quiet; but suddenly the bell rang, and all at once he sprang into action

"gathering the words for mr. happy," he began to sing, as his eyes quickly scanned the receipt

"brightening the runes for mr. happy," he continued, as his hands furiously began to work the valves on the great machine

"ascending to the seat of mr. happy," his song went on, as he swiftly scaled the side of the device

"drumming out the beat for mr. happy," he sang from the top as he took up an enormous pair of bellows, thrust them into some unseen portal, and began to work with all his might; and this line he repeated, over and over, as you watched in horror, the contraption shuddering to an unnatural life, indescribable sounds arising from within, seeming to pulse and breathe, an agonized screech, the vents, the horrible vents, seconds stretching into minutes until a great dismal gong rang and sent you diving back in terror just in time for the man to leap heedlessly to the floor where you had been, grabbing at some mysterious crevice in the side of the machine as it slowly wracked back to stillness

"discovering the sight of mr. happy", he sang mournfully, as he carefully carried whatever he had extracted from the system over to the wall, deposited it in an open box, and made a precise series of marks on the side

"transmitting the light for mr. happy" he sang as he returned to his chair, pressing a single key and leaning back. he closed his eyes, rapturously, his song at its end, and he whispered softly to himself, and somehow you knew what he was saying

when the bell rang out a second later you shot off for the stairs and never looked back

your customers seem to be happy enough about the line. they're actually organizing a kind of auction so they can pay more to get burgers faster. the cooks seem pleased. it's better this way

...! posted:

saint ross is quoting the bible now, what a great man


https://mobile.twitter.com/RealRossU/status/1222921156337889280

...! posted:

saint ross is quoting the bible now, what a great man


https://mobile.twitter.com/RealRossU/status/1222921156337889280

jre posted:

There's a true believing doing the whole "no exchange has run off with the money, starting now ...." thing in the grey thread.

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

well, get on with it. quote the juicy stuff

dhrusis posted:

Sounds good.. I'll go ahead and take your comment seriously because it provides so much clear and convincing evidence..


Cute, this sounds like the news anchors trying to understand the internet in the days before email. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95-yZ-31j9A

Crypto is a very nascient technology right now, frought with risk, both known and currently unknowable. A lot of speculators have already gotten wrecked and will keep getting wrecked. There are also people who have been able to benefit from the continuously developing tech.

I see this no different as other new technologies that have fueled past boom and bust cycles and that have disrupted industries.

The legal services industry, as an example, over the next 10 years will likely experience some significant change as code based smart contracts continue to evolve.. law services like real estate transactions, title related insurance, and large value transfers will increasingly be performed in code faster and cheaper. We will likely see more physical world assets become tokenized and moved about with less friction. Services that currently cost thousands of dollars can be done quickly and cheaply with verifiable integrity. Dunno about yall but from where I'm from this stuff is worth money.

There are a LOT of things blockchains can't or shouldn't do... but there are some things that they can do and will eventually do really well.. Its okay if you don't want to trust them yet, but the tech undoubtedly has potential.

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

well, get on with it. quote the juicy stuff

dhrusis posted:

know risk, know reward

dont worry, the risk will go down eventually

dhrusis posted:

I agree, I don't recommend storing money on an exchange (although I do believe USD stored on Coinbase is FDIC insured, may be wrong).

Coinbase is safe enough for the average person, I'd say.. not sure I'd go as far as lighting on fire... on what basis? Just sending money to the exchange means its gone? Or some day?

dhrusis posted:

Crypto is a very nascient technology right now, frought with risk, both known and currently unknowable. A lot of speculators have already gotten wrecked and will keep getting wrecked. There are also people who have been able to benefit from the continuously developing tech.

I see this no different as other new technologies that have fueled past boom and bust cycles and that have disrupted industries.

The legal services industry, as an example, over the next 10 years will likely experience some significant change as code based smart contracts continue to evolve.. law services like real estate transactions, title related insurance, and large value transfers will increasingly be performed in code faster and cheaper. We will likely see more physical world assets become tokenized and moved about with less friction. Services that currently cost thousands of dollars can be done quickly and cheaply with verifiable integrity. Dunno about yall but from where I'm from this stuff is worth money.

There are a LOT of things blockchains can't or shouldn't do... but there are some things that they can do and will eventually do really well.. Its okay if you don't want to trust them yet, but the tech undoubtedly has potential.

ghosTTy posted:

...! posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/RealRossU/status/1222921156337889280

Boxturret posted:

fross wears the dried corpse of SHUbert the apple tree mangled into a crude cross around his neck as he claims to be a born again christian to try and get sympathy

klafbang posted:

know risk, know reward

dont worry, the risk will go down eventually

klafbang posted:

Oh, and ghost titty is back from bancation:

Boxturret posted:

you know that part of the battle of waterloo where all those cavalry charged into a ditch and they kept going until the ditch was full of bodies and the rest could cross?
bitcoin works the same way