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I burned through magical trans after seeing all the talk about it. There are some problematic bits, but overall I'm enjoying it a lot. also Opon is adorable no matter what anyone else says
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 03:51 |
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# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:42 |
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I... don't know what my deal is. I thought for the longest time I was bi since I've been in relationships with both men and women for all of my adult life, but after a number of things happened throughout these past 3 years in my personal life, I don't think I feel comfortable with things like saying "Oh, I'm like this". Like at some point I'm going to have to sit down and ask this to myself and like figure something out, but coming from a background where I used to get called "marica/maricon" (which are among the meanest homophobic slurs someone can drop on you at least down here in México) on a regular basis for most of his adolescence and part of his adulthood, I'd rather take my time. The one thing I'm sure as poo poo, though, is that I'm not straight. A few things:
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 05:12 |
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Wark Say posted:A few things: Have you read After Hours? It's a shortish (3-volume) yuri manga series about a woman who meets a DJ and gets introduced to the world of music.
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 05:19 |
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I know what you are Wark A really cool person
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 05:26 |
Wark Say posted:I... don't know what my deal is. I thought for the longest time I was bi since I've been in relationships with both men and women for all of my adult life, but after a number of things happened throughout these past 3 years in my personal life, I don't think I feel comfortable with things like saying "Oh, I'm like this". Like at some point I'm going to have to sit down and ask this to myself and like figure something out, but coming from a background where I used to get called "marica/maricon" (which are among the meanest homophobic slurs someone can drop on you at least down here in México) on a regular basis for most of his adolescence and part of his adulthood, I'd rather take my time. The one thing I'm sure as poo poo, though, is that I'm not straight. Honestly, labels are overrated. Just be attracted to who you want to be, or nobody.
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 06:03 |
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I definitely understand how Wark feels, and honestly I've always wondered about that sort of thing myself. Like, for most of my life I identified as 'straight' but in like the last few years that's changed pretty hard but at the same time, I don't feel particularly bi either? It feels like I can't comfortably describe where my likes and dislikes fall on any spectrum beyond the individual person and a handful of attributes. Is there a good term for that feeling? Cuz like, honestly it's confusing af. Like even now I'm second guessing posting because I'm not sure if that's good enough.
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 06:21 |
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Endorph posted:the bride was a boy, yeah, though its mostly about the author's marriage. both her parents and her husband's parents are supportive so it isn't exactly an acerbic takedown of a transphobic society but it gets into a lot of the legal issues in japan, so it's worth a read if you want more info on that. I've actually read that one, I liked it but it did feel like it was more aimed at teaching cis people about being trans.
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 06:33 |
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Give "I was born in the wrong sex" a read
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 08:04 |
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tapas recently added a LGBTQ+ genre tag they publish western webtoons and webnovels + some translated Korean ones
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 08:16 |
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Cuntellectual posted:I still don't know how I feel about that. I missed this post initially, sorry! I was considering how to respond to this but I think this poster put it best: PhysicsFrenzy posted:I burned through magical trans after seeing all the talk about it. There are some problematic bits, but overall I'm enjoying it a lot. also Opon is adorable no matter what anyone else says It's definitely not *ideal* but it's definitely enjoyable and still a country mile better then the majority of manga/anime that touches on gender issues, IMO. Which is setting a low bar, but y'know.
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 13:03 |
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Thanks for the words. It was really loving hard to post here because, again, I'm kinda figuring things out as I go which, normally while doing jams/code/etc I feel like I can roll with those punches a bit more easily.Thuryl posted:Have you read After Hours? It's a shortish (3-volume) yuri manga series about a woman who meets a DJ and gets introduced to the world of music.
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# ? Feb 1, 2020 22:33 |
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Wark Say posted:I... don't know what my deal is. I thought for the longest time I was bi since I've been in relationships with both men and women for all of my adult life, but after a number of things happened throughout these past 3 years in my personal life, I don't think I feel comfortable with things like saying "Oh, I'm like this". Like at some point I'm going to have to sit down and ask this to myself and like figure something out, but coming from a background where I used to get called "marica/maricon" (which are among the meanest homophobic slurs someone can drop on you at least down here in México) on a regular basis for most of his adolescence and part of his adulthood, I'd rather take my time. The one thing I'm sure as poo poo, though, is that I'm not straight. That's why I go with "queer"; I find it to be a nice catch-all. (by the way, I'm a queer enby)
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 15:58 |
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Queer is weird because it is technically a slur, but it's also the easiest word to describe LGBT+ stuff. I don't feel comfortable when non queer people say it, so I try not to use it so I don't subtly 'encourage' it? I guess? Does that make sense?
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 22:16 |
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i personally dont like 'queer' at all but if someone else wants to use it i dont care so long as they aren't acting like its like, the most 'progressive' word to say if that makes sense lots of 'people who say queer are proud rebels, people who say gay are cowards' type posts ive seen, over the years plus it kinda bugs me that people sometimes use 'queer' to describe something that's very much just, one thing. like yuri manga with no trans characters getting called 'queer' feels off to me.
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 22:19 |
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Endorph posted:i personally dont like 'queer' at all but if someone else wants to use it i dont care so long as they aren't acting like its like, the most 'progressive' word to say if that makes sense I see where you're coming from. I usually just call it That Gay poo poo™ and people tend to get it, but I'm sure I've described Kase-san as a queer manga before too.
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 22:24 |
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i thought that "queer" was a universal slur agaisnt all lgbt people, wouldn't a reclaimed version of it also work for any part of the gender/sexuality spectrum? i dont use it myself so no idea
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 22:26 |
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RottenK posted:i thought that "queer" was a universal slur agaisnt all lgbt people, wouldn't a reclaimed version of it also work for any part of the gender/sexuality spectrum?
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:12 |
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RottenK posted:i thought that "queer" was a universal slur agaisnt all lgbt people, wouldn't a reclaimed version of it also work for any part of the gender/sexuality spectrum? Queer has been reclaimed for decades. The slogan "We're here, we're queer, get used to it" has been used since the 90's by LGBT activists. The whole "queer is a slur" thing has been mostly a false flag by TERFs who want to divide the community, with a lot of younger LGBTQIA teens parroting the rhetoric without knowing their history. skaianDestiny fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Feb 2, 2020 |
# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:15 |
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I use queer a lot to refer to myself but like "smear the queer" is still a game that is played to this day. I know a lot of people in their twenties who were called that before being beaten up. nowadays people just use human being, but like acting like it hasn't been used as a slur relatively recently is just false.
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:23 |
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skaianDestiny posted:Queer has been reclaimed for decades. The slogan "We're here, we're queer, get used to it" has been used since the 90's by LGBT activists.
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:26 |
i don't think that post is at all saying people uncomfortable with the term don't exist
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:29 |
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dogsicle posted:i don't think that post is at all saying people uncomfortable with the term don't exist it 100% is
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:30 |
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dogsicle posted:i don't think that post is at all saying people uncomfortable with the term don't exist I'm not sure how else to read it
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:31 |
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Reposting from the other chat thread:Julias posted:Hey guys! For Black History Month the TGRS forum is doing a charity drive for the Transwomen of Color Collective, a nonprofit group run by and for Transwomen. They have a fund that helps women get off the street or help them escape abusive situations. If you would like to help donate and show solidarity with fellow goons, you can post about it here:
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:45 |
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everythingWasBees posted:I use queer a lot to refer to myself but like "smear the queer" is still a game that is played to this day. I know a lot of people in their twenties who were called that before being beaten up. nowadays people just use human being, but like acting like it hasn't been used as a slur relatively recently is just false. Yeah, I was born in the 90s and queer was definitely thrown around as a slur when I was younger. I haven't seen it used that way recently, which is great! But people still being uncomfortable with the term today isn't part of some grand TERF conspiracy.
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:49 |
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Endorph posted:people being uncomfortable with a term isn't a 'false flag by TERFs' everythingWasBees posted:I use queer a lot to refer to myself but like "smear the queer" is still a game that is played to this day. I know a lot of people in their twenties who were called that before being beaten up. nowadays people just use human being, but like acting like it hasn't been used as a slur relatively recently is just false. If you don't want to use queer, then I entirely respect it, the same way some people wouldn't want to use the label "gay" or whatever because of their own circumstances. I'm specifically referring to "queer is a slur and nobody should use it, because I said so" rhetoric, which has been bandied about by proven TERF accounts, similar to the hate against asexual people. Like all reclaimed slurs, usage of the term is not universal, and I'm not demanding it should be, but a lot of my friends needed the term queer in relation to their own identities. Thus I'm not a fan of anyone who wants to blanket-ban the term queer, especially when they turn out to be transphobic. everythingWasBees posted:I'm not sure how else to read it Endorph posted:it 100% is Again, I'm not trying to insinuate that or force anyone to use it, and I'm sorry if it came across as that. I just wanted to point out that queer has been reclaimed for a long while by LGBT+ people, and that a lot of the pushback I've personally seen was done by TERFs.
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# ? Feb 2, 2020 23:55 |
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has anyone in here suggested a ban or even expressed disapproval of people using it
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 00:04 |
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skaianDestiny posted:If you don't want to use queer, then I entirely respect it, the same way some people wouldn't want to use the label "gay" or whatever because of their own circumstances. That's totally fair, and I wasn't aware of the TERF bullshit surrounding the term. I don't think anyone here wants to blanket ban the term (especially with people identifying with the term right down the page!)
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 00:04 |
thanks for clarifying i think the designation of whether queer is a slur or not is kind of a strange battleground that's ancillary to the emotional affects (positive/negative) the word has on people, but that degree of separation and ambiguity is probably why it would be chosen for poo poo-stirring. especially when simply stating your thoughts on a side of the issue can results in unfavorable implications being read into it.
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 00:05 |
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yeah sorry if i seemed jumpy i just legit have been called a terf due solely to expressing my discomfort/misgivings imo while terfs obviously exist i think people oversell the 'terfs manipulating the datastream' stuff and a lot of the stuff people attribute that to really is just people expressing sincere misgivings
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 00:33 |
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growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, i almost never heard the word queer used, but "gay" was the inescapable derogative du jour for absolutely anything anyone thought was stupid or bad or Too Girly
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 00:40 |
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esselfortium posted:growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, i almost never heard the word queer used, but "gay" was the inescapable derogative du jour for absolutely anything anyone thought was stupid or bad or Too Girly yeah p much
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 00:51 |
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my experience was kids said gay and adults said queer
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 01:03 |
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mmm, i guess it was a generational thing then.
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 01:08 |
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I’ve been struggling to post in this thread because of feeling some major imposter syndrome (despite definitely being not cis/straight at all), but seeing stuff like Wark’s post & the current discussion has encouraged me to at least try? Sorry if it’s too disjointed. Personally, I’ve been mentally referring to myself as ‘queer’ as a whole because it seems to fit the best with my individual experience – which is currently a blurry haze of “ok. how the heck do I even begin to conceptualize all these complicated feelings about my identity?” Like I know I’m ace for sure, but then in regards to gender… it’s a flip between generally being fine with how I naturally present, versus the times I’m violently wishing that I could just ascend to another plane of existence and rid myself from the concept of gender entirely. So yeah, the non-specificity of ‘queer’ is a comfort to me while I’m trying to work through all of this. That's just for my own case though, and I try to use more specific terms for other situations where they're more easily applicable. And speaking of specificity: I’m sure there are more established (appropriate?) terms to better describe my feelings and situation than 'queer', but that’s where my lack of experience discussing LGBT+ stuff with other people comes into play -- sometimes, I don't really know what those terms would be? It's like, I try to read what I can to try to learn about all these different perspectives, what terminology is used where, and whatever else... but I just don't have the proper background knowledge & not that many resources to turn to. Being comfortable acknowledging the vagueness regarding myself mentally is quite different from – y’know, trying to provide or elaborate on nuanced takes, on demand, in conversation when it feels like I only have the most basic of tools. Especially when it’s a matter dearly personal to a lot of people’s hearts and where it’s so easy to be misunderstood. A lot of the time, it just feels like I'm constantly behind the curve -- e.g. the discussion right now about the usage of 'queer'. I always thought of it as one of those empowering reclaimed terms (obv when used in a friendly context) while not being aware of the greater ambivalence surrounding it. Hence, leading to imposter syndrome. My responses are probably too clumsy for discussing this topic (thanks perpetual anxiety and foot-in-mouth tendencies), and I don’t want to hurt people unintentionally But... being able to write stuff like this down does help a tiny bit though, at least in terms of clearing up these thoughts for myself. Hopefully. I just wish I knew how to conceptualize all of this better with the proper frameworks. Which is why I highly appreciate the discussion that’s been going on in the past page or two – it’s some more food for thought for me. p.s. anime is cool
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 01:27 |
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Nondevor posted:p.s. anime is cool IDK, anime is pretty gay imho.
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 01:45 |
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since being gay is cool anime = cool; anime = gay the math looks right to me
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 01:51 |
FWIW growing up I definitely remember people using queer as an insult.
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 02:12 |
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Hey. Nondevor. You rock buddy.
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 02:21 |
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# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:42 |
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GorfZaplen posted:Jealousy by Scarlet Beriko
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# ? Feb 3, 2020 02:21 |