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cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

I honestly don't know what people see in TFA. That movie is just teases within vagueries within cyphers within opaqueness all in the name of the typical Abrams gambit of trying to distract you from realizing what you're watching isn't actually interesting. Its sequels may be far more ridiculous but I find TFA tedious and dull (and just IMO the creatures and settings and such were kind of off, almost seemed more like Star Trek at times). It's actually improved by watching it now because a lot of the mystery box bullshit is neutralized.

Also the cast in general looks kinda ugly in TFA, just about everyone except maybe Leia looks better in the others for some reason.

yea

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Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003

Yeah TFA got a lot of good will for being the first and having a pretty charismatic cast and seemingly setting up some interesting dynamics moving forward. It's not amazing by any means but was solid enough as an "okay I am looking forward to seeing these guys all have adventures together and see where a few of these plot points are going".

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

W.T. Fits posted:

I didn't care for TFA. The movie had its good bits here and there, and it was okay overall, but it just didn't feel like Star Wars to me, despite trying way too hard to make itself feel like Star Wars. It's kinda like the uncanny valley; the more it tried to pass itself off as being Star Wars by trying to hit all the "hey, remember this thing you liked in the original trilogy" nostalgia buttons, the less it ended up feeling like an actual Star Wars movie.

Good god in 2015 I felt like I was going crazy because the whole public narrative at the time was "Was The Force Awakens too much like the old Star Wars? The line is drawn! Take your side now!" and I felt like the lone weirdo outsider who didn't think it was enough like the old Star Wars. I'd normally be more forgiving of the movie but it seemed like it had ONE job it took upon itself and that was "evoke Star Wars".

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Good god in 2015 I felt like I was going crazy because the whole public narrative at the time was "Was The Force Awakens too much like the old Star Wars? The line is drawn! Take your side now!" and I felt like the lone weirdo outsider who didn't think it was enough like the old Star Wars. I'd normally be more forgiving of the movie but it seemed like it had ONE job it took upon itself and that was "evoke Star Wars".

I love the loving dipshit whiplash public opinion tracking on the Sequel Trilogy. From The Force Awakens "IT'S TOO MUCH LIKE OLD STAR WARS, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT" to The Last Jedi "IT'S TOO DIFFERENT, IT SCARES ME, FIX IT ABRAMS" and finally to Rise of Skywalker "NOT LIKE THI-HI-HI-HISSSSS:qq:"

The movies were a loving cartwheeling disaster fire, but an incredibly enthralling people-watching experience.

A Gnarlacious Bro
Apr 25, 2007

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

nine-gear crow posted:

I love the loving dipshit whiplash public opinion tracking on the Sequel Trilogy. From The Force Awakens "IT'S TOO MUCH LIKE OLD STAR WARS, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT" to The Last Jedi "IT'S TOO DIFFERENT, IT SCARES ME, FIX IT ABRAMS" and finally to Rise of Skywalker "NOT LIKE THI-HI-HI-HISSSSS:qq:"

The movies were a loving cartwheeling disaster fire, but an incredibly enthralling people-watching experience.

At least everybody had fun with the discourse

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

A Gnarlacious Bro posted:

At least everybody had fun with the discourse

If there’s not some kind of major sociology study into The Discourse underway to determine how and why a Disney soft reboot of a 40-year-old series of family-friendly adventure stories broke our brains so bad then academia’s really failing us

When I watched TLJ I walked away with a perfect feeling of :geno:, didn’t like it but didn’t think it was bad either, just found it mostly boring though it had its high points. If you told me that 2 years later everyone would still be knifing each other online about how everyone who liked it is an SJW cultural Marxist cuck or everyone who didn’t is a sexist and a member of the Aryan Nations I absolutely would not have believed you

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

When I watched TLJ I walked away with a perfect feeling of :geno:, didn’t like it but didn’t think it was bad either, just found it mostly boring though it had its high points.

Funny, i'm the other way around. Even with it's giant plot holes I think it's the most interesting of the ST, but most of the good within it is ruined from the terrible pacing and editing decisions.

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

TLJ needs to not have a fast slow-speed space chase as its central setting / conflict and we'll talk. And less Luke.

cams
Mar 28, 2003


ItBreathes posted:

TLJ needs to not have a fast slow-speed space chase as its central setting / conflict and we'll talk. And less Luke.
tlj is still the third best star wars movie but "we are in a super deadly chase and the fate of the galaxy is on the line... you two, go down to that casino planet and have a poignant adventure about class and capitalism" was a questionable storytelling choice

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator
"This is the saddest day in the history of the rebel alliance and all of our friends are dead"

5 seconds later:

:toot::dance::sandance::banjo::wookie::sax:

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


drat horror queefs posted:

"This is the saddest day in the history of the rebel alliance and all of our friends are dead"

5 seconds later:

:toot::dance::sandance::banjo::wookie::sax:

Okay, what the hell is :sandance: from?

David D. Davidson
Nov 17, 2012

Orca lady?
The Force Awakens was fine. The only thing it needed to do was one, introduce a new and interesting cast of characters, two kill Han Solo in a decent because that's the only way they were going to get Harrison Ford back and three set up stuff for future adventures and four not make any of the mistakes that the prequel trilogy made It did all three thing quite well. The one fault was that they didn't really have a plan for the next two movies which may be where they went wrong the most. The prequels had their problems but at least Lucas had an idea on where he wanted to go with them.

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013

yeah it was pretty good at being as inoffensive as possible

also if it was just to setup the next movies i think not having a plan is a big problem

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


I don't know. Ray being magically awesome and everything she does only when the camera is rolling, but not at any point previously is pretty weird.

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

It was a fun watch, I liked the characters and loved the cast who played them, especially Boyega and Ridley, the action scenes were well-done, and I was willing to forgive it hewing a little too close to A New Hope because I figured it was a deliberate attempt to be like “see, it’s a good Star Wars movie, just like the ones you loved! We can do that!” and would just be a jumping-off point for the next two movies to chart their own course. The next two movies then didn’t chart their own course and just continued to rehash the OT while also sniping at each other somehow but I don’t really hold that against TFA specifically.

Although the “here’s a hologram of the Death Star... and here’s a hologram of Starkiller Base! It’s 20x bigger!!” scene makes me groan out loud every time. I think the battle of not-Hoth in TLJ is the most shameless ripoff of the OT but at least they had the good sense not to have an extra turn to the camera and shout “this is going to be even more desperate than the Battle of Hoth!!”

Wild Horses
Oct 31, 2012

There's really no meaning in making beetles fight.
”There’s always some way to destroy these death stars!” Said unconvincingly by Ford remains one of the worse lines in the movies

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008




r2d2 should have hijacked plugged into a strong radio all the emperors mean ships and made them turn and holdo-jump into the scary planet to end the sith forever

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

How to save TRoS:

Zombies on the evil planet destroying star Destroyers

Finn and Poe gay together

Unshackle it from OT and earlier prequels so it can do more with the first act.

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008




original trilogy: farm boy learns the arts of a nearly-extinct sect of warrior-monks and saves the galaxy

prequels + originals: those born strong in supernatural power, which runs/may run in families, can learn the arts of the warrior-monks. a magically conceived boy is destined to do evil things but find redemption and save the galaxy

prequels + originals + sequels: there are two magic bloodlines and whenever they team up they overthrow the govt

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.
Rose needed a lot more to do

Flavius Aetass
Mar 30, 2011

Bargearse posted:

Rose needed a lot more to do

Rose was a cheesy addition to a movie that already had too many loving main characters and it seems like jj agreed

Too bad he just went and added a bunch more anyway lol

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
Rose coulda become the rocketeer instead of rocketeer girl.

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
Rose: Listen Finn, I have something to tell you. Something that may shock you!

Rose: I'm Zorii Bliss

Finn: zoriwho?

Gulping Again
Mar 10, 2007
zori felt like them trying to do captain phasma again and make 'boba fett but a girl' because that was the stated intent of phasma and then she got literally dumpstered and did nothing cool then they were surprised by their cool female villain not getting over with the fans

David D. Davidson
Nov 17, 2012

Orca lady?
To be fair there, that's pretty much what happened with Bob's Fett. He just chased the Millennium Falcon through an asteroid belt failing to catch it then got taken out like a bitch by a mostly blind man. Yet people still treat him like he's the Batman of Star Wars.

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

David D. Davidson posted:

To be fair there, that's pretty much what happened with Bob's Fett. He just chased the Millennium Falcon through an asteroid belt failing to catch it then got taken out like a bitch by a mostly blind man. Yet people still treat him like he's the Batman of Star Wars.

He had a jetpack and a cool voice and liked to disintegrate people. Sometimes less is more.

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

Flavius Aetass posted:

Rose was a cheesy addition to a movie that already had too many loving main characters and it seems like jj agreed

Too bad he just went and added a bunch more anyway lol

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008




tfa didnt just have phasma, it also had this fucker who gave me immediate “trying to do a bobafett” vibes

Flavius Aetass
Mar 30, 2011
i had blocked the extremely kingdom of the crystal skull chase scene on han's freighter from my memory

i'm assuming that's where red manta ray face guy comes from, hell if i remember

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Squizzle posted:

tfa didnt just have phasma, it also had this fucker who gave me immediate “trying to do a bobafett” vibes



This character isnt in the movie, stop lying.

Oh my god how much of that movie is immediately forgettable sludge?

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008




Barudak posted:

This character isnt in the movie, stop lying.

Oh my god how much of that movie is immediately forgettable sludge?

he is in the movie and his actor had to wear alien make-up under the hockey mask

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008




Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
He just wanders around the background of Jakku. He’s a cantina alien except the movie isn’t as memorable and alien prosthetics are less impressive on their own than they were in 1977.

A Gnarlacious Bro
Apr 25, 2007

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
he looks like hollowknight cosplay

Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

He just wanders around the background of Jakku. He’s a cantina alien except the movie isn’t as memorable and alien prosthetics are less impressive on their own than they were in 1977.

He's not on Jakku is he? I thought he was at Maz's place. I thought he was one of the guys FN tried to escape with.

That was such a weird set piece, it's where they put all the interesting looking aliens but they just stuff them all in there and don't do anything interesting with them. By contrast the Mos Eisley cantina is over pretty quick but you have two action beats (Obi Wan cutting off that dude's arm, Han shooting Greedo), and some memorable dialogue.

Phasma was also weird because she was fairly prominent in the first one then shows up just to die in the second one in a really pointless way, and then FN's arc is basically over since they refuse to follow through on his attraction to Rey for some reason.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

Guy A. Person posted:

He's not on Jakku is he? I thought he was at Maz's place. I thought he was one of the guys FN tried to escape with.

That was such a weird set piece, it's where they put all the interesting looking aliens but they just stuff them all in there and don't do anything interesting with them. By contrast the Mos Eisley cantina is over pretty quick but you have two action beats (Obi Wan cutting off that dude's arm, Han shooting Greedo), and some memorable dialogue.

Phasma was also weird because she was fairly prominent in the first one then shows up just to die in the second one in a really pointless way, and then FN's arc is basically over since they refuse to follow through on his attraction to Rey for some reason.

poo poo maybe he was there. Same deal different planet.

E: Also, Kylo had the potential to be my favourite character and I wish they did something interesting with him and Rey. Either a dark side team up or movie 3 having Darth Rey vs Ben Solo

Like, Millenial RoS definitely has them teaming up to wipe out the space fash and also put an end to the #resistance lameos.

Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Feb 20, 2020

Badger of Basra
Jul 26, 2007

https://twitter.com/JennyENicholson/status/1230968565047549952?s=20

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
How many fuckin orders are there JJ

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

How many fuckin orders are there JJ

66

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Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008




man the replies are good

https://mobile.twitter.com/PoeHotDameron/status/1230970928122580992

https://mobile.twitter.com/DeadJynErso/status/1231018083998928896

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