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Hello. I am a famous billionaire hollywood movie executive and talk show host representing a major studio. I am also a tall stud who likes to do cocaine and drive ferraris. In this thread, you will pitch me tidbits of script based on some exposition i give you. If you are funny, I will send you private messages after purchasing platinum with my many millions of dollars, after which I will fly you out to hollywood to sit at a secret table in a tall glass building to have sex with strippers and do twenty foot lines of ketamine while earning hundreds of thousands of dollars just like me. First exposition; The mailman is trying to get an L shaped sex robot package through the door but cant quite seem to do it until he is helped by...
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Feb 26, 2020 04:06
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| # ? May 17, 2024 18:57 |
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THE GUY WHO ORDERED IT
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Feb 26, 2020 04:08
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WHAT IS HE WEARING
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Feb 26, 2020 04:09
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A LARGER L SHAPED BOX
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Feb 26, 2020 04:24
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THE MAN HAS DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A SEX ROBOT TO SLIP THE CUSTOMS AND RETURN HOME. AS THE USPS MAN BRINGS HIM TO THE DOOR AND STRUGGLES TO FIT HIM THROUGH HIS ARMS AND LEGS BURST THROUGH THE BOX AND HE STANDS UP THEN RUNS IN SIDEWAYS. THE POSTMAN STANDS IN AWE AS THE EROTIC TETRIS PIECE DISSAPEARS BEHIND A SLAMMED DOOR WHY DID HE HAVE TO DISGUISE HIMSELF THROUGH CUSTOMS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!
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Feb 26, 2020 04:26
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HE WAS BANNED FROM ENTERING THE COUNTRY BECAUSE OF AN INCIDENT INVOLVING SEXUAL ACTS WHILE DRESSED AS A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER
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Feb 26, 2020 04:37
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...helped by the guy who lives in the house. While bringing it in it accidentally opens and the mailman laughs at the guy for ordering a sexbot. The guy challenges the mailman to live with the sexbot for a week without loving it. The mailman agrees and takes it home, only to find that all it does is lie around in nice lingerie talking about how badly it wants to gently caress and he finds himself actually getting intensely turned on by it. Stupidly thinking that a robot whose only directive is "be horny and ask to get hosed" wouldn't talk about how horny she is in situations where it wouldn't be appropriate, he begins taking her to places where one wouldn't normally talk about loving such as: the local <whatever retail giant will allow us to use their name>, the local swimming pool, a high-school basketball game, and so forth. Whacky hijinks ensue.
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Feb 26, 2020 04:41
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:...helped by the guy who lives in the house. While bringing it in it accidentally opens and the mailman laughs at the guy for ordering a sexbot. The guy challenges the mailman to live with the sexbot for a week without loving it. The mailman agrees and takes it home, only to find that all it does is lie around in nice lingerie talking about how badly it wants to gently caress and he finds himself actually getting intensely turned on by it. Stupidly thinking that a robot whose only directive is "be horny and ask to get hosed" wouldn't talk about how horny she is in situations where it wouldn't be appropriate, he begins taking her to places where one wouldn't normally talk about loving such as: the local <whatever retail giant will allow us to use their name>, the local swimming pool, a high-school basketball game, and so forth. Whacky hijinks ensue. 
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Feb 26, 2020 04:42
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take that chinese movie about parasites or whatever and put a hot american broad in it
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Feb 26, 2020 05:33
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Live action Toy Story where the toys are all actors in practical costumes like we see at Disney World, and the humans are giant CGI Kaiju beasts
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Feb 26, 2020 05:36
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my little pony except they're all the wrong colors
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Feb 26, 2020 05:45
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I go back in time and have adult relationships with various women from different time periods.
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Feb 26, 2020 05:48
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Robocop but it’s a border patrol agent and the bad guys are Mexican cartel. Off the top of my head, cast John Cena as the lead and Eva Mendez as his partner (to defuse racism accusations).
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Feb 26, 2020 05:51
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Edgar posted:I go back in time and have adult relationships with various women from different time periods. black knight, early 2000s or late 90s i think Devils Affricate posted:my little pony except they're all the wrong colors carebares movie, 80s Cubone posted:take that chinese movie about parasites or whatever and put a hot american broad in it gone girl beanieson posted:Live action Toy Story where the toys are all actors in practical costumes like we see at Disney World, and the humans are giant CGI Kaiju beasts now THIS i can work with
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Feb 26, 2020 05:51
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make a movie about WWII already. wtf have we been waiting on? its been like 100 years or something.
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Feb 26, 2020 05:55
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Some lovely scifi script we can buy for under a grand, renamed for some half remembered lovely board game from the eighties, but none of that matters, the main thing is you can wildly sexually assault the lead actress. OR Some lovely action script we can buy for under a grand, renamed Die Hard 6, but none of that matters, the main thing is you can wildly sexually assault the lead actress and/or Kevin Smith.
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Feb 26, 2020 06:24
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Check this poo poo out, grandpa: Star Wars. Again!!!!
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Feb 26, 2020 06:46
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The year 1880, a civil war vet wakes up to discover hes................ on neptune!
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Feb 26, 2020 06:48
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Get this: we'll take a comic book and turn it in to a movie
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Feb 26, 2020 07:06
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A man wakes up in a hospital after being hit by bus and discovers a world where no one remembers Willow Smith or her music. This leads to him performing "Whip My Hair" on a TV talent show featuring Will & Jada Smith as judges. He's heralded as a tween sensation and is lured into a world of fame and fortune, but finds himself at odds with his family and friends. He must make the decision to go on tour fulfilling the narcissistic wants of the Smith family or stay by the side of the ones he loves.
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Feb 26, 2020 07:32
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Near-future sex robot achieves sentience; hates it.
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Feb 26, 2020 07:40
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beanieson posted:Live action Toy Story where the toys are all actors in practical costumes like we see at Disney World, and the humans are giant CGI Kaiju beasts I think we have a winner, someone pls call disney
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Feb 26, 2020 07:46
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Gritty 3d animated reboot of The Brave Little Toaster. Danny Trejo voices the toaster.
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Feb 26, 2020 09:18
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I don't think pitching a script would work very well. Unless the pages are incredibly well bound there's no way they all making it across the plate
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Feb 26, 2020 10:23
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I still have to look down at my keyboard to copy and paste. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhC-S8ZErTE
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Feb 26, 2020 11:42
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Penis Cops, cops that inspect penises. "Sergeant Turbo, get your be-denimed rear end into my office now" "Your penissitude is writing cheques your pants can't cash" A Grand Egg fucked around with this message at 14:30 on Feb 26, 2020 |
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Feb 26, 2020 14:17
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A gritty, humanizing Batman reboot where Batman and Alfred must survive in Arkham prison for their part in the sexual abuse of young Robin
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Feb 26, 2020 15:36
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Reboots of classic romance/romcom movies, but gay. Gay audiences will love it, but so will the same chicks who were watching it before.
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Feb 26, 2020 15:55
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SCENE 1: a fish realizes it's destined to end up on a plate with some tartare sauce in a Country Kitchen. SCENE 2: the fish sits at the bottom of the pan trying not to drown in the tartare sauce while the chef is at the top of the kitchen knife. SCENE 3: the chef takes one bite. The fish starts to squirm. "That's not tartare sauce," he says. SCENE 4: The chef picks up the fish. "This is tartare," he says. "Not tartar sauce." SCENE 5: "I've eaten far more tartar sauce than tartar sauce, I'll admit it!" The fish starts to squirm and giggle nervously. SCENE 6: The chef looks down at the fish, the chef looks up at the fish, the chef bites the fish. "Tartar sauce is delicious," he says. SCENE 7: The chef puts the fish in his pot with the tarts. "This is delicious," he says. SCENE 8: The chef starts to put one tart into a bowl of prawns. "Now I am a tartar sauce expert," he says. SCENE 9: The chef puts the prawns into the sauce. SCENE 10: The chef takes a large spoon and goes to scoop up the sauce. It's so viscous and thick it makes the prawns fall off the spoon and fall onto the floor. "Ahhh," he says. "Oh!" SCENE 11: The chef is eating a very large spoonful of sauce while talking to a friend. "Now this is so good," he says. "Oh," says the cook friend, "now I am a tartar sauce expert." SCENE 12: The chef is eating a very large spoonful of sauce while talking to a friend. SCENE 13: The chef is dead.
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Feb 26, 2020 15:56
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A movie about a guy trying to pitch a movie to another guy, who ends up pitching it on a forum, to a person who isn't actually a movie producer.
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Feb 26, 2020 16:06
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SCENE 1 - EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY CHAIRMAN MAO starts screaming at everyone. CHAIRMAN MAO gently caress all y'all! He pulls out a bazooka and shoots it, sending a beam through the air, and hits a nearby chair with it. CHAIRMAN MAO I'm sorry, I'm sorry, The chair falls to the ground, leaving only a bloody hole in the ground. The other Chairs are terrified. Everyone runs out of the warEHOUSE, and runs towards the other room. It seems to be a very peaceful warEHOUSE. MALE VOICE This isn't a happy warEHOUSE. CHAIRMAN MAO There are many happy warshoes. MALE VOICE We have to make peace with the other side before we die! CHAIRMAN MAO That's not true. It's not true. MALE VOICE We only have to make peace with the other half. MALE VOICE (con'td) We can make peace with the other half, and be happy again. CHAIRMAN MAO I'm going out to talk to the other half. CHAIRMAN MAO (cont'd) You go ahead, I'll meet up with you. We'll be happy again. CHAIRMAN MAO runs out into the darkness, then comes back into the warEHOUSE. MALE AND FEMALE HOSTAGES run towards him. The two Hostages start talking. It's very creepy. CUT TO: Anus.
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Feb 26, 2020 16:11
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beanieson posted:Live action Toy Story where the toys are all actors in practical costumes like we see at Disney World, and the humans are giant CGI Kaiju beasts I am presenting Toy Story.. for adults. SEX Toy Story, where all your adult toys are alive when you put them away. Directed by seth mcfarlane, featuring the main characters Boney, and Buzz Fuckyeah. The main antagonist is jesus on the cross, who also turns alive when nobody is looking. It later turns out that he is actually into BDSM but couldn't admit it.
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Feb 26, 2020 16:14
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It's fantasy, but there's also a lot of blood and they get their tits out. How's that different from Game Of Thrones? Simple. There's elves, and orcs, and lizardwomen, and they all get their tits out too.
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Feb 26, 2020 16:19
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SCENE 1 EXT. TORONTO - MORNING NATHEN MAZRI What the gently caress possessed you to start up a loving hot dog stand in Alabama? Why did you think that would be even remotely loving entergaging? DOOBIE I could ask you the same about your Garf-failures. Piled high. NATHEN MAZRI (laughs) I know what Garfs are. I had them as a kid. DOOBIE You know what Garfs are not, you have no goddamn idea. NATHEN MAZRI (shakes his head) (laughs) That's what I said. They're stupid. (DOOBIE walks away angrily) You loving rear end in a top hat! You hosed up that one for me! (NATHEN MAZRI runs after him screaming) Doobie? (shouting) Doobie doobie doobie doobie. (DOOBIE stops) I'm sorry. (DOOBIE walks away) Doobie, why were you even here? Doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie. (Doobie comes back) Doobie, you're the greatest! Doobie, you're the best. Doobie you're the best! (Doobie runs off again) Doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie dooboi... (Doobie leaves) [FADE OUT] i admit this was mostly generated by AI, but it's still better than most of hollywood's lovely attempts at screenwriting nowadays amirite
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Feb 26, 2020 16:30
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 these ai-generated screenplays are actually way more entertaining than the real thing (non-ai-generated parts in bold) SCENE 1 EXT. TORONTO - MORNING NATHEN MAZRI What the gently caress possessed you to start up a loving hot dog stand in Alabama? Why did you think that would be even remotely loving entergaging? DOOBIE I could ask you the same about your Garf-failures. Piled high. NATHEN MAZRI (nods slowly) But that's what I like to do. I like to drive in my loving car and then go down into the morgue. And I'm going to be loving honest with you. Because sometimes there's a dead body on the floor and you're like, "I'm a loving doctor, gently caress this, I need to go gently caress this dead body." You know. And you don't see your name on there and like, all the other people that are like, "I'm like a nurse or something." And your name is like, "Oh, you're the guy who did the checkup?" But you've done so many checkups and you don't see your name in those loving checklists and you go, "Well it's not my fault." "It's my fault." What do you think? DOOBIE What does it mean to be a doctor? What does it mean to do your loving checkups? What does it mean to work in this building? You have so many patients that you just go up and do your thing? What's the difference between that? What's the difference? It makes no goddamn poo poo about you. It's not a loving job. It's a goddamn game. NATHEN MAZRI I've been there. I've been there. Doobie's face starts to turn a shade of red that makes the blood just start to run down his neck again. NATHEN MAZRI (slowly) And then I see somebody who's just dead. Now you're just getting mad because you see a dead body. It's not your fault. DOOBIE (slowly) What is that? It's like your brain goes on and on. It's like your whole body's on alert. It's like the blood is running down you like somebody's just kicked your rear end. NATHEN MAZRI (in the background again) This loving is going down! It's going down! This is not your fault! This is not your fault! Doobie starts to hyperventilate again. NATHEN MAZRI (slowly) What? What is that? Doobie suddenly grabs the gun that was still in his hand and pulls it from under his shirt. It is a small black one and he is trying to figure out the way to use it while he still has control of his body. NATHEN MAZRI (in the background, trying to calm Doobiese down again) You know what this is? I'm not gonna let you have your guns when I'm here. I'm not gonna let you have your guns when I'm here. © 2020 Failed Restaurateur Fan Fiction Screenwriters Association, Inc.
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Feb 26, 2020 16:48
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It's like a star wars sequel, but it's good
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Feb 26, 2020 16:55
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another Speed sequel, but keanu has to drive the 3 wheeled car from Mr. Bean
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Feb 26, 2020 17:14
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A Police Academy reboot
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Feb 26, 2020 17:26
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It's a buddy picture with Eddie Murphy AND Eddie Murphy. For a scant $1,000,000 fat-suit investment you can produce the next box office smash!
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Feb 26, 2020 17:27
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| # ? May 17, 2024 18:57 |
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Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
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Feb 26, 2020 18:18
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