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Kaiju Cage Match
Nov 5, 2012




RBA Starblade posted:

How hasn't there been a Hitman level on a cruise liner yet

One of the levels in Blood Money takes place on a riverboat in the Mississippi River so it's almost close

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The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Hitman: Blood Money had a level set on a river cruise.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

And point, though depends; maybe they already had a Harrier mould sitting around from a previous toyline. (They also do that a lot)

It's an original mold though, but I haven't seen the box yet so I don't know if they officially licensed it.

The MSJ fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Feb 28, 2020

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

A cruise ship is gigantic. At best a Hitman level would be a couple decks.

BaldDwarfOnPCP
Jun 26, 2019

by Pragmatica

Detective No. 27 posted:

Fun fact a true crime author/researcher told me once. The best place to get away with murder is a cruise ship.

Safe money is on the officers.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
Come aboard The Implication cruiseliner

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



Some hitman 2 levels are gigantic, they could pull it off.

Have it be a double header hitman/detective blanc were you retroactively figure out your own crime.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

The Mississippi river mission in Blood Money was fun because faking an "accidental" death was really trivial.

Just push someone over the railing into the river, if they aren't close to a railing knock 'em out and then throw their unconscious body into the river.



The next level was a redneck wedding in a old plantation house where literally every single NPC is carrying a gun and no one is alerted or even bothered by you shooting right in front of them as long as you don't hit anybody.

All of Blood Money is basically a bunch of Danes' vision of what America.

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

BaldDwarfOnPCP posted:

Safe money is on the officers.

There's so much booze being handed out that it's really easy for someone to get too drunk and fall off the boat. That's why you can get away with murder, you just say they went out on a bender and never came back to their cabin.

Also, cruise ships are filthy loving places that some blood will probably be overlooked.

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Young Freud posted:

There's so much booze being handed out that it's really easy for someone to get too drunk and fall off the boat. That's why you can get away with murder, you just say they went out on a bender and never came back to their cabin.

Also, cruise ships are filthy loving places that some blood will probably be overlooked.

If you want a full list of why cruise ships are terrible, including why they're the best place for committing crimes, just watch this episode of Patriot Act.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nCT8h8gO1g

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
All this discussion about Hitman and none on that Hitman movie

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Hitman movies make the same mistake as the games in failing to realise Agent 47 isn't an action hero or interesting character, the key point of interest is his work.

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

The second Hitman movie got it right by making 47 an unstoppable Terminator during the first act.

Shame about everything that came after those first 20 minutes.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe
A proper Hitman movie would show him spending like 30 minutes meticulously setting up a Rube Goldberg assassination, and then when the bad guy turns left instead or right or whatever, 47 just goes apeshit and murders like 50 people to get to the target.

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

Basebf555 posted:

A proper Hitman movie would show him spending like 30 minutes meticulously setting up a Rube Goldberg assassination, and then when the bad guy turns left instead or right or whatever, 47 just goes apeshit and murders like 50 people to get to the target.

Lol that would be pretty good. A movie like a heist set up with meticulous planning and as if everyone has their poo poo together and under control and are cool and calm but during the actual heist right away the smallest thing goes differently like a guard drops his keys throwing the entire Timing and sequence off and then it turns into a Benny Hill type comedy of bumbling violence and messy sloppy panicked slapstick BS to conclusion.

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

:hmmyes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dNXPwB7lsQ

Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006

A Hulu show is supposed to be in the works. But I haven't heard anything from it for a while so who knows if it's even still a thing.

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

Mierenneuker posted:

The second Hitman movie got it right by making 47 an unstoppable Terminator during the first act.

Shame about everything that came after those first 20 minutes.

That old trailer for Blood Money with the apocalyptic music with the narrator ranting about failing to find him/prove he still exists like he's the Candyman or Michael Myers or something was the Hitman movie I always wanted to see.

Edit:

This one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCzx3Wxw6M8

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

So long as it has a homing briefcase, I'm in.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Basebf555 posted:

A proper Hitman movie would show him spending like 30 minutes meticulously setting up a Rube Goldberg assassination, and then when the bad guy turns left instead or right or whatever, 47 just goes apeshit and murders like 50 people to get to the target.

This reminded me of a film that i have never actually seen but alwats wanted to because the premise was so great.

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1202514/

Tars Tarkas
Apr 13, 2003

Rock the Mok



A nasty woman, I think you should try is, Jess.


G'Day, mates!

Tars Tarkas
Apr 13, 2003

Rock the Mok



A nasty woman, I think you should try is, Jess.


Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Tars Tarkas posted:

G'Day, mates!



That's not a knife.
Yes it is!
Oh I'm sorry, I don't have my glasses on. Hold on will ya mate? Now where did I...

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

https://twitter.com/SonyPictures/status/1233406684061548545

I cannot wait to see this shitshow on the big screen.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Tars Tarkas posted:

G'Day, mates!



Isn't Paul Hogan a piece of poo poo?

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004
Sure sounded like it from the How Did This Get Made episode with one of the writers whom Hogan tried to gently caress over then lost in court to.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


I guess I should have expected it considering he has two other known PoS in the movie (John Cleese and Chevy Chase.)

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006


🎵 I'm blue
Yeah I'm a blue Shrek, guy
Step a foot in my swamp
And you're gonna die 🎵
Hogan's divorce in the 80s was particularly ugly, and he spent much of the last twenty years going back and forth with the Australian government because he was evading tens of millions of dollars in taxes.

And holy poo poo, he's eighty.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

muscles like this! posted:

I guess I should have expected it considering he has two other known PoS in the movie (John Cleese and Chevy Chase.)

loving hell I remember hearing that Hogan and Chase were seen filming scenes just a few blocks from my house here in Melbourne back in 2018 but forgot all about it, I guess this shitshow of a film has taken a while to come together



muscles like this! posted:

Isn't Paul Hogan a piece of poo poo?

From a 2018 article:

quote:

Paul has insisted the upcoming feature release will be a comedy, where he will play himself in the semi-fictional tale that documents the lead up to receiving a Knighthood for services to comedy.
:jerkbag:



Pope Corky the IX posted:

Hogan's divorce in the 80s was particularly ugly, and he spent much of the last twenty years going back and forth with the Australian government because he was evading tens of millions of dollars in taxes.

And holy poo poo, he's eighty.
He was born in 1939 and he married his first wife way back in 1958, he's old as hell
Edit: he was pushing 50 when he made the original Crocodile Dundee movie

Snowglobe of Doom fucked around with this message at 20:57 on Feb 28, 2020

BaldDwarfOnPCP
Jun 26, 2019

by Pragmatica

I don’t think this is the place to link your deviantart page.

The Peccadillo
Mar 4, 2013

We Have Important Work To Do
Hoges also hosed the weirdo he based the character on

https://allthingscomedy.com/podcasts/204---the-real-crocodile-dundee-live-in-australia

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Can you break it down for me

Did he do it to take his power

Sir Kodiak
May 14, 2007


Yeah, I'm not listening to a podcast to get the story. Was it like a Meryl Streep in Adaptation situation? Assuming it was consensual, I don't really see the problem.

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002
I assume they meant "hosed over"

The Peccadillo
Mar 4, 2013

We Have Important Work To Do

ALFbrot posted:

I assume they meant "hosed over"

Yeh

It's a good story, it ends in a shootout

Uncle Wemus
Mar 4, 2004


And the purple virus gorilla from the 2000's?

Chairman Capone
Dec 17, 2008

Love the happy squid with the robot body.

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
Is Disney/Pixar's Onward not tracking well? They're doing a sneak preview on Saturday, which is pretty unusual.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

My wife is the only person I know, including my kids, who was expressed an interest whatsoever, and even that is passing at best.

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY
Feb 3, 2006


I thought the purple gorillas might be the aliens but nope, it's down there hidden in the corner.

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Chairman Capone
Dec 17, 2008

Jose Oquendo posted:

Is Disney/Pixar's Onward not tracking well? They're doing a sneak preview on Saturday, which is pretty unusual.

It's gotten mixed reviews, at least all the ones I've seen.

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