- FactsAreUseless
- Feb 16, 2011
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had a dream they announced Darksiders 3 DLC and the pitch was "you've fought the 7 deadly sins... now face the 8th... the Goatse man!" and I remembered I was a consultant on this and was really proud of myself.
Unfortunately, everyone hated it, and I had to lock down my Twitter because the trolls and haters immediately started calling me a "2004 rear end honky" and "crude shock value that has destroyed the Darksiders lore forever".
I left the computer to calm down and there was a gang of bikers coming to kill me for turning Darksiders into a joke, because it's an extremely popular franchise with biker gangs and they take it extremely seriously. Thankfully the four riders of the apocalypse came and rescued me in their sick motorbikes and we escaped from the bikers while I hit them with a giant glowing scythe.
I've never played a Darksiders game.
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Feb 24, 2020 21:31
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 18, 2024 13:22
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- Lunchmeat Larry
- Nov 3, 2012
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not as cool as Darksiders 3.
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Feb 24, 2020 22:04
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- Chilled Milk
- Jun 22, 2003
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No one here is alone,
satellites in every home
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after all these years we finally have the name of the man
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Feb 25, 2020 00:10
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- FactsAreUseless
- Feb 16, 2011
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not as cool as Darksiders 3.
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Feb 25, 2020 00:22
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- Wormskull
- Aug 23, 2009
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2004 rear end Honkey.
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#
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Feb 25, 2020 02:04
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- net cafe scandal
- Mar 18, 2011
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had a dream they announced Darksiders 3 DLC and the pitch was "you've fought the 7 deadly sins... now face the 8th... the Goatse man!" and I remembered I was a consultant on this and was really proud of myself.
Unfortunately, everyone hated it, and I had to lock down my Twitter because the trolls and haters immediately started calling me a "2004 rear end honky" and "crude shock value that has destroyed the Darksiders lore forever".
I left the computer to calm down and there was a gang of bikers coming to kill me for turning Darksiders into a joke, because it's an extremely popular franchise with biker gangs and they take it extremely seriously. Thankfully the four riders of the apocalypse came and rescued me in their sick motorbikes and we escaped from the bikers while I hit them with a giant glowing scythe.
I've never played a Darksiders game.
You have a beautiful mind dude
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Feb 25, 2020 23:35
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- Knuc U Kinte
- Aug 17, 2004
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I had a dream that I was getting tired of how dead this forum is so I went looking for offsites and I found one like badgame, but it was a 3D world that you could walk around in and everyone looked like their avatar. Larry Parrish was there but his eggplant avatar had become 3D and from the front on it looked like a boar villager from animal crossing with his eggplant as a big tail.
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Feb 26, 2020 01:07
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- Wormskull
- Aug 23, 2009
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I had a dream that I was getting tired of how dead this forum is so I went looking for offsites and I found one like badgame, but it was a 3D world that you could walk around in and everyone looked like their avatar. Larry Parrish was there but his eggplant avatar had become 3D and from the front on it looked like a boar villager from animal crossing with his eggplant as a big tail.
You shoved the egg plant tail up your arse.
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Feb 26, 2020 01:24
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- Knuc U Kinte
- Aug 17, 2004
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You shoved the egg plant tail up your arse.
Oh wow. That would hurt.
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Feb 26, 2020 04:48
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- Bicyclops
- Aug 27, 2004
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Slightly fearful chuckle at the notion of every Imps deranged gamer dreams originating from Bicyclops unending comatic nightmare, like a slumbering Old One.
wuh. wunnn. wunnnnnnnnn. one gayummmmm....
One game??
One........... game........... more.....??????
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Mar 6, 2020 05:05
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- Arrhythmia
- Jul 22, 2011
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What the
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Mar 6, 2020 05:11
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- American McGay
- Feb 28, 2010
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by sebmojo
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oh my god
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Mar 6, 2020 05:18
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- Regy Rusty
- Apr 26, 2010
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What??!?
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Mar 6, 2020 05:31
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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good god
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Mar 6, 2020 05:37
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- In Training
- Jun 28, 2008
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Lmfao
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Mar 6, 2020 05:52
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- Sex Tragedy
- Jan 28, 2007
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father of three with an extra large butt
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glad to see you're alive
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Mar 6, 2020 05:58
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- PONEYBOY
- Jul 31, 2013
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no..
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Mar 6, 2020 06:05
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- Bicyclops
- Aug 27, 2004
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i'm sorry people thought i was dead. i honestly didn't know until like november and once i saw this thread, i realized i had to come back with Skyrimmiserables, but i had no experience with audio recording or video editing software and i don't have a lot of free time, so.
anyway, to ruin the mystery, i took a break from the forums because after my bad fever, a bunch of hosed up stuff happened that seems like too much of a downer to post about, and because of that i didn't have time for video games, which is what i mostly enjoy posting about, so i took a break from the forums. things worked out okay, life is pretty great for me right now. my wife is good, and she didnt even cut my balls off for drunkenly singing the words "godd howard" loudly into a headset mic like seven times in a row. my son is hitting all his milestones, we have another baby on the way, my job is good except for the coronavirus poo poo, everything is ocming up milhouse. i told myself i could download the FF7 demo if i came back to posting, so i'll probably do that tomorrow. things are really good.
i still have extremely weird, hosed up nightmares basically every night. i wrote down the two i remembered that had to with video games.
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 06:21
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- elf help book
- Aug 5, 2004
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Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
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thank you for living
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Mar 6, 2020 06:24
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- Arrhythmia
- Jul 22, 2011
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*suddenly filled with the very real worry that maybe it's not exactly that Bicyclops is back, per se*
Hey, uh, good to see you again. Do you remember what happened to me after that accident I was in on the 401?
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Mar 6, 2020 06:24
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- Caithness
- Nov 10, 2012
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HEY!!!
YOU CAN SEE ME, CAN'T YOU? THEN WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME!?
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Praise the lord
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Mar 6, 2020 06:43
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- Bicyclops
- Aug 27, 2004
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i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:
in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.
i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.
i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)
i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 07:41
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- The Klowner
- Apr 20, 2019
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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thanks for posting, bicyclops. I think I speak for everyone here when I say we're all very happy to see you're alive.
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Mar 6, 2020 07:51
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- trying to jack off
- Dec 31, 2007
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i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:
in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.
i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.
i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)
i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."
thank you
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 08:30
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- American McGay
- Feb 28, 2010
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by sebmojo
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i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!"
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 08:44
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- Bolverkur
- Aug 9, 2012
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i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:
in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.
i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.
i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)
i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."
reading this listening to one more game crying like in interstellar
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 11:00
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- herculon
- Sep 7, 2018
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Order has been restored
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 11:54
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
-
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 12:36
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- Pablo Nergigante
- Apr 16, 2002
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Oh my god.
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 14:54
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- Pablo Nergigante
- Apr 16, 2002
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Welcome back king.
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 15:03
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- Arrhythmia
- Jul 22, 2011
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i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:
in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.
i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.
i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)
i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 15:47
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- In Training
- Jun 28, 2008
-
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reading this listening to one more game crying like in interstellar
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 16:07
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- FactsAreUseless
- Feb 16, 2011
-
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i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:
in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.
i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.
i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)
i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 16:30
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- net cafe scandal
- Mar 18, 2011
-
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In awe
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 23:27
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 18, 2024 13:22
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- net cafe scandal
- Mar 18, 2011
-
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#
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Mar 6, 2020 23:50
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#
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Feb 24, 2020 21:31
