|
trickybiscuits posted:It must be exhausting, being these people. It's exhausting just being around them. I'm lucky I'm not quarantined with any assholes. I'm a bit worried about my dad who is stuck in a hoarded, mostly unlivable, filthy house with my hoarder stepmom. She treats him (and everyone really) like poo poo, but he refuses to divorce her. That would be like admitting he made a mistake, so it's never going to happen. I don't feel that bad for him, as this is clearly what he wants out of life, but I'm still worried. Dad has COPD and lives in a rodent and bug-infested home that smells like human piss. He is being proactive about all the social distancing and handwashing stuff, despite these things being mandated by a Democrat governor, so that's something. All this frothing conservative rage has to be some sort of dementia.
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 05:18
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 18:14 |
|
|
Rockbear posted:When my ES Deklynne was 5, we were at a family gathering, and my sister suggested that we let all the kids play with crayons while the adults socialized. Innocent enough, I thought. this was the greatest post.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 05:39
|
|
|
trickybiscuits posted:I saw this areticle: Coronavirus Crisis: The Unexpected Gift to Narcissists: The pandemic forces a reset of self-aggrandizing demands for control. What the gently caress... If you're not constantly starting conversations, even polite arguments if necessary, with your SO to figure out the best way to raise your children, you are a goddamn rear end in a top hat. Edit: I now realize you might also be unable to confront an abuser... still a goddamn rear end in a top hat if your kids are involved Edit2: Oh, I get it: It's because you've trained your spouse to always agree with you, Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 06:00 on Apr 8, 2020 |
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 05:51
|
|
|
Dirt Road Junglist posted:She's got a bunch of grandkids in the military, soooooo Any of them in the Navy ? 
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 05:51
|
|
|
mllaneza posted:Any of them in the Navy ? Actually, no. I think the only one who's still active duty is a Marine doing some poo poo we're not allowed to know about. The rest were Air Guard and are all state side working in military health care, ironically.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 05:55
|
|
|
trickybiscuits posted:It must be exhausting, being these people. It's exhausting reading their posts. I maybe get through a tenth of the ones posted in this thread, but I'm pretty sure it's because most of them are uncannily written in the same voice like they're all just pulled down from a hivemind. No drunk texting screeds from the old man in several weeks. Either I managed to plug the last hole in the dike, or he sobered up and realized making GBS threads on my mother was a bit of a tactical error.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 08:35
|
|
|
From reading the rejected parents forums it seems they think that their estranged children should contact them because of how dangerous the virus is to them (because of their advanced age., and their children are being super selfish by not doing so. And/or they are using the seriousness of the situation as an excuse to try to contact their estranged children. So the virus has basically made them even more sure that they are right and their children are wrong.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 08:56
|
|
|
I would blow Dane Cook posted:From reading the rejected parents forums it seems they think that their estranged children should contact them because of how dangerous the virus is to them (because of their advanced age., and their children are being super selfish by not doing so. And/or they are using the seriousness of the situation as an excuse to try to contact their estranged children. Oh, absolutely. And they'll never admit that, if it weren't COVID-19, it would be something else. An earthquake, a hurricane, a tornado, a recession, etc...all the way down to "I heard there was a burglary in ED's neighborhood and it's bewildering that she wouldn't call to tell me she's okay"
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 13:40
|
|
|
Yeah, if this virus wasn't a thing I wouldn't have been contacted. 3 years is just fine to ignore me and my health crisis because they weren't the center of attention anymore, but as soon as it's something that might affect them, family is sooooo important all of a sudden and matters so much! I'm just so tired of narcissists.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 13:47
|
|
|
I read/hear all of the posts from the narcissistic parents itt with the same smokey diner voice. :/
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 14:01
|
|
|
quote:Little did I know when she was only 3 years old she came to me crying, saying ” you love daddy more than me” that this set the trend for the rest of her life...In my short email I explained this was true, and good.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 14:01
|
|
|
Splash Attack posted:and there's the fact that i'm not actually my dad's biological daughter (their marriage is older than i am) but he's never treated me as anything else but his own, so i didn't really question that i was mixed race while everyone else was completely chinese until i was much older. Sorry but did they ever explain the circumstances of this to you? Or is it just an unstated thing? I'm curious because I found out a while back through 23andme i have a half brother (lol) and im not actually my dads biological son, but I cant really bring it up because I think everyone would die. Can't imagine discussing it when you're already in your 30s
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2020 17:47
|
|
|
https://twitter.com/AITA_reddit/status/1248949419359248385   
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2020 17:30
|
|
|
pram posted:Sorry but did they ever explain the circumstances of this to you? Or is it just an unstated thing? I did the 23andme thing at one point and it created a little flashpoint around family mythology when I showed them the results (which I doubt are all that accurate, it's spotty but some pretty firm conclusions can be drawn.) Uh, yeah folks, we're all totally white. They had kind of latched onto the 1/8 Cherokee nonsense. I've heard this explained as a tacit way for certain people to justify their own racism because how could they be racist if they're Native Americans? Who knows. They were that kind of people.
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2020 19:09
|
|
|
In the south, being part cherokee was understood as the way you justified it when your kids ended up looking a bit too dissimilar to their dad or if you were a little too "swarthy" to be white.
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2020 23:42
|
|
|
Tunicate posted:In the south, being part cherokee was understood as the way you justified it when your kids ended up looking a bit too dissimilar to their dad or if you were a little too "swarthy" to be white. That seems like it would be more a thing with 1/32 than 1/8 though. If you're 1/8 your grandparent was 1/2, and they should surely have clear memories of their pure blood cherokee parent, 2 pure blood cherokee grandparents, and various cherokee cousins. I'm 1/8 Cree and I clearly remember my 1/2 Cree grandmother even though she died when I was 12. Her deadbeat dad was white, but she looked Cree, she sounded Cree, she spoke some Cree, and her family was Cree. There was no possibility that she might have been faking it and actually been 100% white. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 06:34
|
|
|
Facebook Aunt posted:That seems like it would be more a thing with 1/32 than 1/8 though. If you're 1/8 your grandparent was 1/2, and they should surely have clear memories of their pure blood cherokee parent, 2 pure blood cherokee grandparents, and various cherokee cousins. You're right but racists are stupid as poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 06:37
|
|
|
Who What Now posted:You're right but racists are stupid as poo poo. Also Southerners thought the Cherokee are super-cool because they are a proud civilization unjustly suppressed by the federal government, and Confederacy stans like to think the Confederacy was also a proud civilization unjustly suppressed by the federal government. E: Changed the tense, Cherokee still exist and unintentionally suggesting they don't is bad for indigenous rights Pththya-lyi fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Apr 12, 2020 |
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 07:32
|
|
|
Pththya-lyi posted:Also Southerners thought the Cherokee were super-cool because they were a proud civilization unjustly suppressed by the federal government, and Confederacy stans like to think the Confederacy was also a proud civilization unjustly suppressed by the federal government. Yep, that's pretty much it. The family members that I severed from years ago used to maintain both narratives at the same time and I don't need a DNA test to know that we don't have a significant enough amount of Indigenous American (Cherokee) heritage to claim, despite what they claim, but also I don't really want to celebrate the Confederate or Klan heroes that they want to maintain are in our "proud" family line. There's a reason I severed from a huge chunk of my family as soon as I was cognizant enough to realize that was the best course of action to take.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 08:35
|
|
|
The Breakfast Sampler posted:I did the 23andme thing at one point and it created a little flashpoint around family mythology when I showed them the results (which I doubt are all that accurate, it's spotty but some pretty firm conclusions can be drawn.) Uh, yeah folks, we're all totally white. They had kind of latched onto the 1/8 Cherokee nonsense. I've heard this explained as a tacit way for certain people to justify their own racism because how could they be racist if they're Native Americans? Who knows. They were that kind of people. lol. well mine was the opposite, my 23andme says im 20% native american but its probably some mexican crap so i dont get any cool cherokee lore to be racist with 
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 11:45
|
|
|
Lots of Southerners claim to be Indian, in order to hide being part Mexican, Mediterranean people, or (gasp) Black I don't know if any of you ever saw that travel commercial for a Mexican airline where they dna tested some Southeners and offered them discount tickets to Mexico if they had some percentage Mexican dna. They were all convinced they had none (they almost all did, and the ones that didn't looked bummed about missing out on tickets)
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 13:35
|
|
|
ElGroucho posted:Lots of Southerners claim to be Indian, in order to hide being part Mexican, Mediterranean people, or (gasp) Black This is it pretty much. I was always told growing up that I was "part cherokee", because one of my great grandparents was "Cherokee princess" which isn't a thing. Mixed race women sometimes claimed back in the day to be Cherokee Royalty (again, not a thing) because it would get them marginally better treatment than being openly half black half white or whatever. I read my supposedly Cherokee grandma's journal, and she straight up admitted that her Cherokee Princess claim was done for this exact reason. My family refuses to admit it though, because claiming Cherokee status makes it easier to pretend to have martyr status and then we get to be as racist as we want to anyone else and they can't say poo poo because we're Cherokee. It's deeply hosed up.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 14:17
|
|
|
I felt the pressure of filial duty and told my low contact mother we would Skype with her every day during lockdown since she lives alone 2000 miles away in a lovely chud state and I loving regret it. Does the emotional torture of talking to her every day outweigh the guilt of her suiciding in her empty tomb of a house? I don't loving know! She sent me an email recently detailing how much she's had to struggle financially (lol) and she hopes I "appreciate" the nice things I have. I appreciate being 2000 miles away, I'll tell you that much. Anyway, please berate me for being a dumbass for inviting this bullshit back into my life.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 17:20
|
|
|
Strep Vote posted:Anyway, please berate me for being a dumbass for inviting this bullshit back into my life. Very well, I shall shake my fist at you. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 18:06
|
|
|
Strep Vote posted:Anyway, please berate me for being a dumbass for inviting this bullshit back into my life. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 18:43
|
|
|
Strep Vote posted:I felt the pressure of filial duty and told my low contact mother we would Skype with her every day during lockdown since she lives alone 2000 miles away in a lovely chud state and I loving regret it. Does the emotional torture of talking to her every day outweigh the guilt of her suiciding in her empty tomb of a house? I don't loving know! no one should berate you for succumbing to the huge social and familial pressure to keep up contact with your abuser. you are exploited by a system of flawed social mores you had zero hand in creating and have spent your entire adult life unlearning. You are trying to do the right thing, and that is commendable. please be gentler with yourself.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 18:49
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:no one should berate you for succumbing to the huge social and familial pressure to keep up contact with your abuser. you are exploited by a system of flawed social mores you had zero hand in creating and have spent your entire adult life unlearning. Yes, but take care of yourself here too Strep, and if it gets to be too much, I think it's okay to get out of it however you need to (i.e. lie about internet not working or whatever if you need a break.) Honestly in kind of a similar boat because I hadn't talked to my mother in about 3 years until recently, I think this situation has made a lot of people crazy/ re-evaluate these things, me included. I haven't felt any particular catharsis or anything, it's probably not good for anyone in my case (there was a lot of really bad poo poo) but at least everyone's alive.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 19:05
|
|
|
Strep Vote posted:I felt the pressure of filial duty and told my low contact mother we would Skype with her every day during lockdown since she lives alone 2000 miles away in a lovely chud state and I loving regret it. Does the emotional torture of talking to her every day outweigh the guilt of her suiciding in her empty tomb of a house? I don't loving know! It's okay to set limits here. You have a lot more power in this situation than you think. When she says something stupid like that, it's okay to step back and say you don't appreciate it, and if she keeps doing that you're going to have to go, or just to hang up. Think of this as an opportunity to start shaping her behavior. ohnobugs fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Apr 12, 2020 |
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 19:54
|
|
|
Have you tried telling your mom to shut the gently caress up?
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 20:15
|
|
|
AuntBuck posted:It's okay to set limits here. You have a lot more power in this situation than you think. When she says something stupid like that, it's okay to step back and say you don't appreciate it, and if she keeps doing that you're going to have to go, or just to hang up. This! 1000 times this... I know not everyone gets to this point, or even wants to but as someone who had to teach a boomer parent about boundaries over the course of almost 20 years it can be done. Tell people what you’re going to do, do it, then tell them you did it. The only trick is to remain consistent on your side- for the boomer possesses if not intelligence, a certain rigid conviction of their lead soaked righteousness. They will test your emotional fences for weaknesses, systematically. They remember. It took a lot of time and effort, and yes, more than a few hurt feelings on their part but with time and lots and lots of repetition my mother learned that certain topics (Like her disagreements with other people/family members/local businesses) I would simply not engage with, because I repeatedly told her. No matter how often she tried from various angles. Other topics (business dealings with family members that always ended up going to the same way, or lingering feelings about the divorce) would end the conversation entirely after repeating the same advice about boundaries over, and over....and over again. It sucks to start, but if you keep a calm and consistent demeanor and just simply let your parent know you have no interest in having certain conversations, then act on it- also calmly and constantly, over time you’ll most likely see some improvement. There will of course be tests and backsliding on their part but it can be done as long as the parent actually wants a relationship with you. Think of it like setting up a mental “No shoes, no shirt, no emotional dumping. No service” sign.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 21:55
|
|
|
gently caress that dudes, my wife is constantly stressed because she knows she needs to call her abusive, mentally ill, manipulating mother once a day My mom was a relative saint and I call her maybe once every 3 months, and sleep like a baby She will never, ever block her calls, and I won't have a stress-free wife until that evil old bitch finally dies
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 22:56
|
|
|
I found this on /r/regretfulparents and holy poo poo. quote:A Poem About Motherhood, On The Occasion Of My 55th Birthday
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 23:47
|
|
|
quote:Attempts to make memories became regrets that marked the seasons. Um. "You WILL come with me to the pick-your-own place and you WILL have fun."
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 23:53
|
|
|
Foam Monkey posted:I found this on /r/regretfulparents and holy poo poo. Death Grips are taking their music in an odd direction. E: imagine that poem delivered like Takyon https://youtu.be/89F5fpvwPr0 Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Apr 13, 2020 |
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2020 23:57
|
|
|
Arsenic Lupin posted:Um. "You WILL come with me to the pick-your-own place and you WILL have fun." Oh God that triggered flashbacks I forgot I even had. Apple orchards, all the time. And of course I needed to climb the trees to get the best apples for mom. Never mind the fact that I’m still paralyzed by heights.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2020 00:21
|
|
|
Arsenic Lupin posted:Um. "You WILL come with me to the pick-your-own place and you WILL have fun." Holy moly the weird semi-rhyme scheme.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2020 00:27
|
|
|
Rejected Parents: my precancerous cheeks
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2020 00:39
|
|
|
Haha man that is almost too much.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2020 00:44
|
|
|
Why do these people always have the same voice?
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2020 00:52
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 18:14 |
|
|
Their profile is insane. Apparently all her kids joined the military and ghosted her, and she has attempted to contact their COs to get in touch with them and has hired a PI at one point to find out info about her grand daughter.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2020 00:55
|
|
