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Gulping Again posted:If we're talking about Harry Potter fanfic, this one is relevant to the topic of the subforum and way more fun than the worst sort of D&Dposting self-indulgence. I thought prequeldome was where we post fanfics
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Apr 16, 2020 03:19
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One sexy new thread title and harry potter thread went from being the mistreated stepchild of the star wars subforum to the newest recipient of the shitpost world cup
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Apr 16, 2020 03:25
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This thread is so totally a Hufflepuff.
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Apr 16, 2020 03:32
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Sleeveless posted:Going from mocking Harry Potter to unironic fanfic suggestions in the span of two pages, gg tropers Honey Potter and the Cursed Thread
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Apr 16, 2020 03:38
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FunkyAl posted:I understand soccer! My appeal is that the scale of wizards we see in the book fluctuates wildly and does not have a "world" backing it to support a world cup. As we understand it, wizards from all over the british isles send their children to hogwarts, but in harry's grade there are only around 40 wizards, at his level, and 10 in his house. At a given time around 280 wizard children and young adults, which means there are probably a hundred to two hundred wizard families in Ireland, Scotland, and England, maybe a total population of a few hundred or a thousand, maybe even a couple thousand!
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Apr 16, 2020 05:34
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Welcome to my magic school! We have spells and flying brooms! Also in one of our bathrooms the tortured, crying sprit of a murdered child is forced for eternity to exist inside of a toilet
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Apr 16, 2020 05:34
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Harry Potter growing up to be a cop is the funniest thing. I quit the books at Prisoner of Azkaban, what a poo poo book.
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Apr 16, 2020 06:46
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Dr. VooDoo posted:Welcome to my magic school! We have spells and flying brooms! Also in one of our bathrooms the tortured, crying sprit of a murdered child is forced for eternity to exist inside of a toilet Par for the course at a British boarding school, tbh.
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Apr 16, 2020 10:33
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Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality was lauded for years by internet nerds as a great "gently caress you superstitious people read this and get smart  " argument even though it's a rapefic written by a dude who thinks he must invent super-AI pronto otherwise the super-AI (aka God) in the future will torture infinite copies of himself in computer simulations which is the same thing as being tortured yourself. Because rationality, you see.And that, I think, is the real magic.
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Apr 16, 2020 11:06
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Mooey Cow posted:Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality was lauded for years by internet nerds as a great "gently caress you superstitious people read this and get smart wth I didn't know this thing had rape in it. I always avoided it because it was super long and seemed to just turn Harry into a walking mouthpiece for a writer that has way too high of an opinion of themselves.
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Apr 16, 2020 11:11
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It's real bad in every conceivable way.
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Apr 16, 2020 14:27
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reignofevil posted:One sexy new thread title and harry potter thread went from being the mistreated stepchild of the star wars subforum to the newest recipient of the shitpost world cup I feel conflicted
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Apr 16, 2020 14:27
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I picked a random chapter late in that fanfic and got to read a passage of Harry trying to sell Hermione on polyamory.FunkyAl posted:I understand soccer! My appeal is that the scale of wizards we see in the book fluctuates wildly and does not have a "world" backing it to support a world cup. Fritzler posted:I have no idea what a wizards personal life is like if they don’t work at hogwarts, and i can’t really guess what they do. The central contradiction at the heart of Rowling's "Wizarding World" is that she simultaneously wants the entire UK's population of wizards to be like an idealized rural English village (or maybe just any given episode of EastEnders,) where everybody knows everybody and is in the loop on all the hot gossip, yet at the same time this community is also somehow large enough to sustain an entire shadow government as well as a vast and vibrant economy. Supplementary materials attempt to wave this away with a "Well, not everyone attends Hogwarts, there's a lot of wizard home schooling going on" but that's just talking around England's (and Rowling's) prejudices and adherence to a strict class structure. Hogwarts is where "good" wizarding families are allowed to send their children; the nameless masses that sustain this world receive sub-par education at a series of underfunded public schools.
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Apr 16, 2020 14:33
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Ron Weasley went through an entire year of school with a busted wand taped back together with the wizard equivalent of duct tape because he was too loving proud to ask his parents or his super wealthy best friend for some spare galleons so that he could not fail out of his second year at hogwarts. Meanwhile the Ravenclaw kids are pooling their resources into a mutual fund and manipulating the wizard stock market by buying up massive shares in polyjuice potion and death eater futures.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:27
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There are no good books, only bad books that haven't developed a fandom.
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Apr 16, 2020 16:31
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Cat Army
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Apr 16, 2020 16:52
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dudeness posted:There are no good books, only bad books that haven't developed a fandom. Wizard of Earthsea is actually good, mostly in all the ways harry potter isn't
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Apr 16, 2020 16:57
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Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is a good book and shockingly it has a good miniseries adaptation too.
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Apr 16, 2020 17:29
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reignofevil posted:Ron Weasley went through an entire year of school with a busted wand taped back together with the wizard equivalent of duct tape because he was too loving proud to ask his parents or his super wealthy best friend for some spare galleons so that he could not fail out of his second year at hogwarts. How can you trust any politician or public figure in a world with the polyjuice potion. It could be one guy. Maybe five other groups of teenagers were trying to break into the ministry the same day harry potter did. Actors in wizard movies could be drinking it to appear younger
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Apr 16, 2020 17:37
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Mooey Cow posted:Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is a good book and shockingly it has a good miniseries adaptation too. This is very true.
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Apr 16, 2020 18:42
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oh hey while we're at it can we talk about how jk rowling probably actively hates trans people and at the very least thinks they're icky. the fun never ends. just a great person all round
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Apr 16, 2020 23:44
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Hell yeah we can!
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Apr 16, 2020 23:59
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Angepain posted:oh hey while we're at it can we talk about how jk rowling probably actively hates trans people and at the very least thinks they're icky. the fun never ends. just a great person all round It was a big bummer for me to find this out being trans, and having had a big Harry Potter phase as a middle schooler. I'm kind of glad she milkshake ducked well after I stopped caring about her output beyond how bad her tweet retcons have been.
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Apr 17, 2020 01:42
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jk rowling endorsed the lib dems lmao
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Apr 17, 2020 01:54
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Some Goon posted:It just occurred to me, the "the entire world plays this one game" probably only seems improbable to Americans who are the only holdouts on this whole 'football' thing. The entire world doesn't play that one game. The published version of Quidditch Through the Ages establishes Quodpot as the wizarding world's analogue to American football (i.e., the most popular sport in America, but nowhere else in the world).
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Apr 17, 2020 11:16
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Quodpot unironically sounds way more watchable as a sport, its like Gridiron and the Slam Dunk contest had an explosive baby
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Apr 17, 2020 12:29
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What exactly happens when a dementor eats your soul? Is it a nonexistence/annihilation type thing, or does your consciousness just float around in the unkillable hellbeast's stomach for all eternity? Followup: whose loving idea was it to staff the only wizard prison in the world with soul-sucking demons that literally devour joy and happiness? That automatically makes every wizard authority far worse than Voldemort, who prefers a magical painless instakill.
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Apr 17, 2020 15:30
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Asgerd posted:What exactly happens when a dementor eats your soul? Is it a nonexistence/annihilation type thing, or does your consciousness just float around in the unkillable hellbeast's stomach for all eternity? 1) Soul-wise, I think you get converted into energy and a non-insignificant proportion of death eater farts. One thing that gets brought up is that when given sufficient leeway to hunt muggles or otherwise vulnerable populations the number of dementors increases so maybe they convert it directly into more dementors, maybe it just gets them all randy under those cloaks. 2) Body-wise, you live on as a vegetable, no conscious thoughts just automatic muscle movements to keep you alive if you aren't being sustained in a wizard prison you probably die. 3) I believe that would be second most popular prime minister of all time, Cornelius Fudge who decided to do this after Voldemort was defeated by blowing himself up on a baby. I could be wrong about this though.
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Apr 17, 2020 15:49
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Fritzler posted:Honestly the World Cup was confusing to me when I read the books too. They go to find a port key in the area, and are like “are there any other of us wizards around?” “I don’t think so”, but they’re not sure. Like what does the average wizard do when they’re not working (which is either at hogwarts or for the government as far as I see)? They don’t know who wizards who live around them. They obviously don’t converse with nearby muggles either. Do the teleport to daigon alley whenever they want to do anything social? Something else? I have no idea what a wizards personal life is like if they don’t work at hogwarts, and i can’t really guess what they do. Masturbate
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Apr 17, 2020 18:36
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The success of the books was predicated on kids wanting to attend hogwarts. I never did. I thought it sounded loving awful. The teachers all have massive personality disorders and the headmaster is a dipshit who openly plays favorites. Kids die. You learn to lift a feather with your brain? Who cares.
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Apr 17, 2020 18:40
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Pick posted:
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Apr 17, 2020 21:08
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Wangarnium Explodiosa
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Apr 17, 2020 21:30
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reignofevil posted:Ron Weasley went through an entire year of school with a busted wand taped back together with the wizard equivalent of duct tape because he was too loving proud to ask his parents or his super wealthy best friend for some spare galleons so that he could not fail out of his second year at hogwarts. Ignoring the fact that it's silly to criticize a child (fictional or otherwise) for not being a perfect rational actor that's incredibly true to life in my experience. Especially with kids growing up in poor households and/or with lots of siblings or dysfunctional parents. There were plenty of assignments in school I turned in late because my parents were too cheap to have a printer at home and would instead want to print off their work computer and I outright failed a huge project because we didn't have a camcorder at home and the teacher required creating and showing a video to the class as part of it. And I think its a fairly common and relatable childhood experience to break or lose something expensive and have to go without or fix it the best you can and have it negatively effect your schooling as a result, having a hosed-up wand is just the wizard version of having to nurse a pair of broken glasses because your parents' insurance only gets new lenses every other year or losing your graphing calculator and having a way harder time doing math problems. Pick posted:The success of the books was predicated on kids wanting to attend hogwarts. I never did. I thought it sounded loving awful. The teachers all have massive personality disorders and the headmaster is a dipshit who openly plays favorites. Kids die. You learn to lift a feather with your brain? Who cares. You could probably write a thesis about how the two biggest kids media sensations of the late 90s were Pokemon and Harry Potter and both were predicated on the fantasy of getting to leave home when you're 12 and go on adventures with your friends. Even if that meant being in danger and at the mercy of a world that is uncaring at best and actively antagonistic at worst it was still preferable to riding out the End of History in the suburbs.
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Apr 17, 2020 21:34
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Play Morrowind and don't have a gruesomely murdered dead girl soul in your toilet Like explicitly electronics didn't work so also you couldn't use Microsoft Encarta or anything just their shitass encyclopedias that burp or whatever They wrote with quills! Get the gently caress out of town
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Apr 17, 2020 22:20
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One unintentional parallel to real life that I really like about the Harry Potter books is that if you were a kid when they were coming out teachers and classrooms were being oblivious about, actively antagonistic to, or at the very least well behind the times when it came to computers and the internet and technology; at home you had personal computers and the world wide web but in school it was all paper and library books and Scantron machines as old as your parents. So when one teacher was telling you that the internet wasn't a valid source for research projects because the MLA hadn't yet established a way of citing websites and another was telling you that you could only use websites that ended in .org or .gov because .com meant it was a business and untrustworthy it may as well have been quills and parchment and letters delivered by owls compared to what we were doing in every other facet of our life.
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Apr 17, 2020 23:06
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Haha is there harry potter porn haha like what would it have haha i bet their playboys move like in those pictures just wondering haha
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Apr 17, 2020 23:56
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reignofevil posted:Wangarnium Explodiosa Expellispermus
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Apr 18, 2020 13:48
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dialhforhero posted:Haha is there harry potter porn haha like what would it have haha i bet their playboys move like in those pictures just wondering haha When the series begins magic is a puberty metaphor, and when it ends it uses lycanthropy as an AIDS metaphor and has a villain character who is a werewolf with the gimmick of intentionally infecting children for his own personal gratification. The fact that the series is largely sexless is a blessing because otherwise it would probably just be full-on Anne Rice poo poo. Also you can tell Harry Potter was written by a boomer woman because there's like zero acknowledgment or recognition of adolescent male sexuality and frustration and instead Harry just has very sanitized sitcom "I don't have a date..and the prom is tomorrow!" antics and chaste crushes that are all about pining without reciprocation. Nobody's expecting jokes about how hard it is to jack off in private when you're sharing a giant bedroom with a bunch of other guys in wizard school or whatever but as a teenager my eyes just about rolled out of my head whenever he starts pining for Cho Chang in a way completely unlike how me or anyone I knew were dealing with our feelings and relationships despite being the same age.
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Apr 18, 2020 14:29
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Sleeveless posted:When the series begins magic is a puberty metaphor, and when it ends it uses lycanthropy as an AIDS metaphor and has a villain character who is a werewolf with the gimmick of intentionally infecting children for his own personal gratification. The fact that the series is largely sexless is a blessing because otherwise it would probably just be full-on Anne Rice poo poo. Harry's negative emoions and memories were siphoned off of him by dumbledore and the council of wizards to prevent another voldemort situation and create the perfect tool. This is why there are no accounts of them in the book, and they are replaced by implant memories of cho chang
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Apr 18, 2020 16:47
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"Dumbledore what can we possibly replace that much negativity with. What could possibly have the lasting power to keep an adolescent boy completely docile and ready to be manufactured into the kind of weapon you speak of?" *dumbledore ponders, he speaks his next words slowly and with great care* "....... Hot Asian girls."
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Apr 18, 2020 16:50
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