net cafe scandal posted:

net cafe scandal posted:

Bicyclops posted:

here's the other gaming dream i had, and then i'm out unless playing the FF7 remake demo makes me dream about video games. it's long, sorry:

some notes: before the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm aired, i wanted to re-watch it, so I was binge-watching Curb Your Enthusiasm for awhile. we also let my son (18 months) have about an hour of screen time, which we mostly use for Sesame Street (the new HBO ones are a 1/2 hour, so doing one in the morning to keep him calm while we're making his breakfast and one just before dinner, when he tends to get cranky. one day we had skipped the breakfast episode and he kept pointing to the PS4 controller shouting "Beep! Beep!" and reaching for it, so i figured, what the hell, i'll let him play video games for 15 minutes. i looked for something that would be age-appropriate and found Kingdom Hearts, and he was enthralled. once it got to the combat, he was actually playing the game. it locks onto the enemies, so he was just mashing X and killing all the little shadow guys and having the time of his life. at one point he used a potion. he was too upset when we had to stop for me to do again, so that's been his only video game experience but i had several days of swelling with dad gamer pride.

during the curb binge and shortly after my son's first time really playing video games, i had a dream in which HBO, because of the backlash from them acquiring a public access show, decided to release a free video game on the PS4 that was just the game parts of the Elmo's World segment on Sesame Street. there was a published harvard study that showed that playing the game made toddlers smarter and happier than toddlers who didn't play the game, so i was excited to be a responsible parent and still play video games with my kid. if you're like me and you hadn't seen the show since you were a child, Elmo's World is like a third of Sesame Street now and apparently has been for like 30 years. there's a part where he says "let's play a game together" and then plays a game that looks sort of like an i-pad game where kid voices yell at him Blues Clues style about how he should play. there's a segment with a clown named Mr. Noodle where elmo asks Mr. Noodle to do something and Mr. Noodle gets it clownishly wrong while the children's voices laugh at how stupid he is.

at the beginning, it was basically just the elmo's world games, and my son was having a blast, learning all new words and suddenly speaking to me in complete sentences, saying things like "elmo is ffunny. i like video games. can we play video games more tomorrow?" he was solving all of elmo's puzzles and laughing and laughing, and i was extremely happy. then elmo said "Let's see how Mr. Noodle plays video games. Ohhhhh, Misterrrrrrrrr Nooooooooooodllllllllllle!" and the game transitioned to putting Mr Noodle in the place of Mario in the original Super Mario Bros. he did his big clown motions as he stumbled toward the first goomba, and then mugged at the camera and slapped his cheeks like in Home Alone when the goomba ran into him, and he shuffled his arms as he leaped up and fell off the bottom of the screen.

my son looked at me in horror and started bawling. "elmo killed Mr. Noodle!!" he said. i tried to reassure him that it was just pretend, but he was wailing and wailing and just kept saying "elmo killed Mr. Noodle!" and pointing at the controller and saying "No! no!"

the bedroom door burst open and my wife stormed out, except in the dream, i was married to Susie Green from Curb Your Enthusiasm. "what the gently caress are you doing?" she said. "are you a loving idiot? look at him! He's traumatized! are you letting him play VIDEO GAMES?" i tried to explain about the Harvard study and how he was learning to speak in complete sentences in a day but she just kept yelling and interrupting. my son raised his arms while he cried and said "up, up! mama. i want mama. daddy killed Mr. Noodle." then I started crying, and the Susie-wife lit into me. "oh, now it has to be ALL ABOUT YOU! god forbid your son has a moment to deal with trauma you caused him. i can't even look at you, you skinny little gently caress. get out of my sight!" i tripped on the stairs as i was leaving my own house and woke up.

Bicyclops posted:

i'm sorry people thought i was dead. i honestly didn't know until like november and once i saw this thread, i realized i had to come back with Skyrimmiserables, but i had no experience with audio recording or video editing software and i don't have a lot of free time, so.

anyway, to ruin the mystery, i took a break from the forums because after my bad fever, a bunch of hosed up stuff happened that seems like too much of a downer to post about, and because of that i didn't have time for video games, which is what i mostly enjoy posting about, so i took a break from the forums. things worked out okay, life is pretty great for me right now. my wife is good, and she didnt even cut my balls off for drunkenly singing the words "godd howard" loudly into a headset mic like seven times in a row. my son is hitting all his milestones, we have another baby on the way, my job is good except for the coronavirus poo poo, everything is ocming up milhouse. i told myself i could download the FF7 demo if i came back to posting, so i'll probably do that tomorrow. things are really good.

i still have extremely weird, hosed up nightmares basically every night. i wrote down the two i remembered that had to with video games.

Bicyclops posted:

here's the other gaming dream i had, and then i'm out unless playing the FF7 remake demo makes me dream about video games. it's long, sorry:

some notes: before the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm aired, i wanted to re-watch it, so I was binge-watching Curb Your Enthusiasm for awhile. we also let my son (18 months) have about an hour of screen time, which we mostly use for Sesame Street (the new HBO ones are a 1/2 hour, so doing one in the morning to keep him calm while we're making his breakfast and one just before dinner, when he tends to get cranky. one day we had skipped the breakfast episode and he kept pointing to the PS4 controller shouting "Beep! Beep!" and reaching for it, so i figured, what the hell, i'll let him play video games for 15 minutes. i looked for something that would be age-appropriate and found Kingdom Hearts, and he was enthralled. once it got to the combat, he was actually playing the game. it locks onto the enemies, so he was just mashing X and killing all the little shadow guys and having the time of his life. at one point he used a potion. he was too upset when we had to stop for me to do again, so that's been his only video game experience but i had several days of swelling with dad gamer pride.

during the curb binge and shortly after my son's first time really playing video games, i had a dream in which HBO, because of the backlash from them acquiring a public access show, decided to release a free video game on the PS4 that was just the game parts of the Elmo's World segment on Sesame Street. there was a published harvard study that showed that playing the game made toddlers smarter and happier than toddlers who didn't play the game, so i was excited to be a responsible parent and still play video games with my kid. if you're like me and you hadn't seen the show since you were a child, Elmo's World is like a third of Sesame Street now and apparently has been for like 30 years. there's a part where he says "let's play a game together" and then plays a game that looks sort of like an i-pad game where kid voices yell at him Blues Clues style about how he should play. there's a segment with a clown named Mr. Noodle where elmo asks Mr. Noodle to do something and Mr. Noodle gets it clownishly wrong while the children's voices laugh at how stupid he is.

at the beginning, it was basically just the elmo's world games, and my son was having a blast, learning all new words and suddenly speaking to me in complete sentences, saying things like "elmo is ffunny. i like video games. can we play video games more tomorrow?" he was solving all of elmo's puzzles and laughing and laughing, and i was extremely happy. then elmo said "Let's see how Mr. Noodle plays video games. Ohhhhh, Misterrrrrrrrr Nooooooooooodllllllllllle!" and the game transitioned to putting Mr Noodle in the place of Mario in the original Super Mario Bros. he did his big clown motions as he stumbled toward the first goomba, and then mugged at the camera and slapped his cheeks like in Home Alone when the goomba ran into him, and he shuffled his arms as he leaped up and fell off the bottom of the screen.

my son looked at me in horror and started bawling. "elmo killed Mr. Noodle!!" he said. i tried to reassure him that it was just pretend, but he was wailing and wailing and just kept saying "elmo killed Mr. Noodle!" and pointing at the controller and saying "No! no!"

the bedroom door burst open and my wife stormed out, except in the dream, i was married to Susie Green from Curb Your Enthusiasm. "what the gently caress are you doing?" she said. "are you a loving idiot? look at him! He's traumatized! are you letting him play VIDEO GAMES?" i tried to explain about the Harvard study and how he was learning to speak in complete sentences in a day but she just kept yelling and interrupting. my son raised his arms while he cried and said "up, up! mama. i want mama. daddy killed Mr. Noodle." then I started crying, and the Susie-wife lit into me. "oh, now it has to be ALL ABOUT YOU! god forbid your son has a moment to deal with trauma you caused him. i can't even look at you, you skinny little gently caress. get out of my sight!" i tripped on the stairs as i was leaving my own house and woke up.

net cafe scandal posted:

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I'm glad to hear it. Now can you please call off your loving dog it's been bothering everyone.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I'm glad to hear it. Now can you please call off your loving dog it's been bothering everyone.

Bicyclops posted:

i tripped on the stairs as i was leaving my own house and woke up.

Bicyclops posted:

sort of feel like i tried to do a trick that involved hopping in the heckran cave portal and surprise some people in Truce Village, but when I popped out to yell "surprise," I landed in 2300 AD

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

"boss, that's Corvid-19! One burst from its beak can give a man coronavirus instantly! It's loving gay! It's a loving homo, boss!" and I was trying to turn the volume off because he kept shouting increasingly offensive slurs, but no matter how much I turned the volume knob down it didn't go off completely and I was really embarassed.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I dreamed about the Shining Lights mission in MGSV where you have to kill your infected troops, except the troops were infected by coronavirus. They weren't insane or anything so they were just saying things like "ok boss honestly I think I'll be fine, we're all young and healthy here" and Big Boss would just headshot them, and every time you did so he would play a low-quality soundclip of Andy Samberg mumbling "im the boss".

After a bit, Miller revealed that you weren't killing people to sterilise mother base, you were killing them to summon the coronavirus elemental and wipe it out from the world altogether. Sure enough, when Boss domed the final soldier ("im the boss"), a big shadowy crow like the thing from Ori and the Blind Forest appeared, and Miller said "boss, that's Corvid-19! One burst from its beak can give a man coronavirus instantly! It's loving gay! It's a loving homo, boss!" and I was trying to turn the volume off because he kept shouting increasingly offensive slurs, but no matter how much I turned the volume knob down it didn't go off completely and I was really embarassed.

When I looked back at the game, Big Boss was fighting the crow in a side-on view at the top of the platform like the Evil Eagle bossfight from Link's Awakening, but the crow was spewing some sort of vomit which I assume was coronavirus. Eventually it splashed some on Big Boss and it was kind of in first-person and his hands were my hands, and I looked down at them and shouted "oh god! My hands!" because they were swelling up and going all puffy and purple, but when I spoke I realised I was speaking in Lumpy Space Princess's voice, and then I woke up

Regy Rusty posted:

Lol at Corvid-19

Regy Rusty posted:

Lol at Corvid-19

herculon posted:

I had a dream where I was hanging out with Goro, who was a super nice dude. Then someone announced that I have to fight Goro in the octagon next. Goro wished me good luck and left to get ready. I spent the rest of the dream wondering how can I even fight Goro, but everyone kept wishing me good luck like it was a pretty even fight. I was mostly worried that Goro's physique is top notch while my doughy, pasty complexion will look silly next to him. Luckily, it started raining and they had to cancel the fight because it was an outdoor arena.

herculon posted:

I had a dream where I was hanging out with Goro, who was a super nice dude. Then someone announced that I have to fight Goro in the octagon next. Goro wished me good luck and left to get ready. I spent the rest of the dream wondering how can I even fight Goro, but everyone kept wishing me good luck like it was a pretty even fight. I was mostly worried that Goro's physique is top notch while my doughy, pasty complexion will look silly next to him. Luckily, it started raining and they had to cancel the fight because it was an outdoor arena.

herculon posted:

I had a dream where I was hanging out with Goro, who was a super nice dude. Then someone announced that I have to fight Goro in the octagon next. Goro wished me good luck and left to get ready. I spent the rest of the dream wondering how can I even fight Goro, but everyone kept wishing me good luck like it was a pretty even fight. I was mostly worried that Goro's physique is top notch while my doughy, pasty complexion will look silly next to him. Luckily, it started raining and they had to cancel the fight because it was an outdoor arena.

herculon posted:

I had a dream where I was hanging out with Goro, who was a super nice dude. Then someone announced that I have to fight Goro in the octagon next. Goro wished me good luck and left to get ready. I spent the rest of the dream wondering how can I even fight Goro, but everyone kept wishing me good luck like it was a pretty even fight. I was mostly worried that Goro's physique is top notch while my doughy, pasty complexion will look silly next to him. Luckily, it started raining and they had to cancel the fight because it was an outdoor arena.

In Training posted:

Goro would have hosed you up dude.

Knuc U Kinte posted:

When the fight starts a crowd of Imp villagers dressed to the nines like homos would run down the entrance ramp and climb into the octagon to gently caress Goro up

Knuc U Kinte posted:

When the fight starts a crowd of Imp villagers dressed to the nines like homos would run down the entrance ramp and climb into the octagon to gently caress Goro up

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I was fighting loads of Italians in a lightsaber/sword fight scene and was cutting them down with ease. After a while, one of them sobbed "why are you doing this?" and I was like poo poo, I can't remember, I think I just started fighting these guys. I need an excuse.

And then it came to me, the funniest and wittiest response I could imagine. "Mortedella", I laughed, and they were like "I don't loving know who that is dude" but I just kept saying it and laughing and stamping my feet with glee until my girlfriend woke me up and said I was doing a fidget dance in my sleep.