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We can't watch all of WWE's quality programming every day of every week. We are a busy species trying to live life to the fullest without any consequences! Who has time for on demand and Hulu? Not us. That's why we need the one thing to keep the WWE Universe up to date.... It's what knows what's up with the happenings around our favorite sports entertainment family! Usually, our forums power house Jerusalem posts the results of each show for us. The poor lil' fella is all tuckered out and it's up to us to pick up the slack for him! Take a rest, J-ru. Go get yourself a tall malted. The most important thing about these results is that they are TRUE! In fact, they contain more truth than most facts! The truer the merrier, I say! Without further ado, here are the results of this week's Friday Night Smackdown, on the home of Family Guy....FOX! We'll start with what Jerusalem posted in the WWE thread, but with added authenticity! Jerusalem posted:Smackdown Results 4/24: Do you have any results from Raw, Smackdown, or any other loving programming that's out there in the WWE Universe! Give it to us to keep us informed!
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Apr 25, 2020 12:37
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 08:41 |
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quote:Sami Zayn was seen in Michael Cole's thought bubble. lmfao
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Apr 25, 2020 12:44
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Not gonna lie I'm legit excited for New Day being in the NES game version of Firefly Funhouse next week.
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Apr 25, 2020 13:13
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Can this be for release news too? Because I just read that Beez Standish, Molten Q. Cornbear, and the burgeoning tag team of The Real Fatties, Tubbo & Lardd, were all just let go from multi-year contracts. Meanwhile Hexx Flenderson has been furloughed from his developmental deal. And to specify, that's "Meanwhile Hexx Flenderson", as in his full name, not that he was furloughed meanwhile the rest were released. I would've used a comma if that were the case.
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Apr 25, 2020 19:12
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I have inside information that says Raw will be focused on a 70-minute segment where Seth Rollins smashes different kinds of lightbulbs with a claw hammer. Incandescent bulbs. Fluorescent tubes. LEDs. Floodlights. All kinds of bulbs.
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Apr 25, 2020 20:46
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Defiance Industries posted:I have inside information that says Raw will be focused on a 70-minute segment where Seth Rollins smashes different kinds of lightbulbs with a claw hammer. Incandescent bulbs. Fluorescent tubes. LEDs. Floodlights. All kinds of bulbs. Followed by an unexpected CZW invasion where they just roll around in it. And it's not even televised, it's for literally zero people.
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Apr 25, 2020 21:50
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Raw Results
No winner, as HHH walks to the ring, looking dishevelled. He grabs the mic and sits in a corner, facing the turnbuckle and rocking back and forth. Seth and Kevin look uncomfortable and try to keep the match going as HHH starts to openly weep in the microphone. Kevin misses a suicide dive to the outside when HHH screams that he doesn't understand why no one likes him, throwing Kevin and Seth out of place.
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Apr 25, 2020 23:26
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Apr 25, 2020 23:29
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smackdown results. Triple H walks to the ring but he's completely naked. Triple H says to suck on it. Triple H does the "X" crotch chop rather than the normal one, which actually stands for "gently caress it." if you didn't learn that at school then you aren't bigtime Triple H calls Vince McMahon on the phone and the camera shows the phone with Vince McMahon on it. Vince McMahon says a lot of racial slurs in a row. End
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Apr 25, 2020 23:36
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-Vince comes out to the ring to make a major announcement, but is immediately ambushed on his way there by a mob of former XFL players, television crew, and office personnel. He is beaten bloody, stripped, and hung upside down from the Titantron. Not sure if this was a "worked shoot" to drum up interest for the XFL's return in 2021.
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Apr 25, 2020 23:51
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- Michael Cole told the WWE Universe that next week, Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross will defend the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship against the Kabuki Warriors in the main event.
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Apr 26, 2020 00:15
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The Miz comes out to the ring and begins to brag about how many bells he's made trading turnips in Animal Crossing. Miz explains that he reinvests all his money into turnips every Sunday. in the middle of his bragging, Jimmy Uso appears on the titantron, holding Miz's custom Nintendo Switch. Jimmy says he's about to spoil Miz's plans. on the console's screen you can see that every square inch of Miz's island is covered in turnips. Jimmy enters the system settings and sets the system clock to one year in the future. Miz's entire fortune has been turned into worthless rotten turnips. furthermore, as Jimmy pilots Miz's avatar through the fetid landscape of Miz Isle, he discovers he has also inadvertently caused Raymond the cat to move away. "looks like the cat's out of the bag," says Jimmy Uso. The Miz lets out a pained, inhuman wail, as if his child has died. he produces a revolver from inside his trunks and shoots himself in the head, crumbling to the mat. as the camera pulls up and over the ring, we see the blood pouring from Miz's head pool and coalesce into the image of a red turnip.
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Apr 26, 2020 00:24
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Apparently Vince McMahon sacrificed Drake Maverick to Mammon, the ancient God of greed. Like, actual human sacrifice. Ate his heart in the middle of the ring and everything. The next day he found 6 billion dollars in his couch cushions. The last words Drake Maverick spoke as Mammon came to claim his immortal soul were 'Glad to be of service' ChrisBTY fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Apr 26, 2020 |
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Apr 26, 2020 00:26
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-Corey Graves did a good job on commentary tonight.
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Apr 26, 2020 01:43
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You have to make it at least somewhat believable, Sydney.
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Apr 26, 2020 02:13
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Sydney Bottocks posted:-Corey Graves did a good job on commentary tonight. -Corey Graves didn't embarrass his hot fiancee in front of the entire internet, when he said platonic nice and supportive things about his fiancee and making suave hints towards their love life. He also definitely didn't wear a lovely cap during all of this. Why am I even posting this absolutely truthful non event??? Weird
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Apr 26, 2020 02:39
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Akira Tozawa and Richochet had a 4 1/2 star match. Unfortunately no record of this exists because the entire match the camera was focused on Jerry Lawler in blackface doing the racist asian eye thing.
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Apr 26, 2020 03:02
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-As part of Vince's "more cinematic matches" initiative, a video was shown of Drake Maverick, clad in a Punch costume, being pinned in a match. Afterwards, he is taken backstage, stripped, has pagan designs painted on his body, and then clad in a white robe. He is then led out into the parking lot, where the camera zooms in to his face as he screams "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ!" while Vince McMahon gestures towards a giant wicker man that has already been filled with several other released wrestlers. Maverick tells Vince that sacrificing him will not increase the WWE's stock value, and that if the stocks don't go up, next year he may be the one chosen to burn in the wicker man. Vince laughs, says "YOUUUUU'RRRRRE FIIIIIIRRRRRRED" and then leads the WWE cast and crew in song (a mashup version of "Summer Is Icumen In" and "No Chance in Hell") as the sun sets and the wicker man is engulfed in flames. Segment went on too long and the in-ring action (prior to the wrestlers being immolated in the wicker man) was so-so.
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Apr 26, 2020 05:25
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Gonz fucked around with this message at 06:02 on Apr 26, 2020 |
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Apr 26, 2020 05:40
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Apr 26, 2020 05:43
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"The Fiend" and "The Friend" are the new tag champions. No word on who portrays the Fiend when they both are on screen at the same time but Vince was heard yelling from backstage "I don't care he's not getting two checks".
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Apr 26, 2020 06:07
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Apr 26, 2020 14:42
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ChrisBTY posted:Akira Tozawa and Richochet had a 4 1/2 star match. Unfortunately no record of this exists because the entire match the camera was focused on Jerry Lawler in blackface doing the racist asian eye thing. -The otherwise 5* rating was docked half a point due to interference: During the match, Kazuchika Okada debuted in WWE at long last, with his new gimmick "Sushi Kimchee". Sources say Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawyer mutually came up with this gimmick during the show, while pooping together in adjacent bathroom stalls as loud and constant giggles echoed throughout the vents of the arena. Anyway, Sushi Kimchee was quickly taken out by a poke in the eye from his own ring gear, which consists of a jacket made entirely of chopsticks. -After this segment, it became quickly apparent that WWE is doubling down on its renaming of people to a singular name, as a tag team match took place between Bobby & Bobby vs Drew & Drew. One of the Drews is McIntyre and one is Gulak, and the Bobbys are Roode & Lashley. Nobody backstage seems to know why they didn't go with their last names instead.
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Apr 26, 2020 22:47
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Al snow came to the ring, furious that nobody told him that the main character in “get him to the Greek“ was also named Al Snow. This promo was a hit with commentary but was not on the schedule.
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Apr 27, 2020 03:42
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Raw results
CrcleSqreSanchz fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Apr 27, 2020 |
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Apr 27, 2020 04:24
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-HHH appreciation week continued. First up was a video featuring Stephanie McMahon-Levesque, as an on-screen graphic noted "Mr. Levesque is the son-in-law of Vincent McMahon." She then proceeded to compare the happiness of her wedding night to the happiness America felt when Saddam Hussein was dragged out of his spider hole and put on trial for doing 9/11, a moment in history that she reminded viewers was like the time when the feds investigated her father, Vincent McMahon (whom Mr. Levesque is the son-in-law of, as the graphic again helpfully reminded us). -Shane McMahon was up next. The video featured him staring into the camera worldlessly for a solid five minutes before cutting away to a graphic that reminded us "Mr. Levesque is the son-in-law of Vincent McMahon."
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Apr 27, 2020 04:56
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Apr 27, 2020 09:32
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Apr 27, 2020 14:22
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Scooter Bottoms def. Hunk O. Robinson by technical submission. Hunk jumps Scooter before the bell, performing a suicide dive onto the ramp. They brawl to the back, where Hunk throws flour into Scooter's face and tries to choke him out with a chain. oVe shows up with a baseball bat to help Hunk, but Hunk gives them the thumbs down and attacks them with the baseball bat instead for no apparent reason. The compeditors slowly walk outside. Scooter counters a sleeper hold into the ankle lock. Hunk sells it like he's been fed cyanide, frothing at the mouth and rolling his eyes back. The referee calls for the bell after Hunk passes out. Minus 5 stars.
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Apr 28, 2020 02:30
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Without looking at the real results, can you figure out what actually happened on tonight's Raw and what I just made up? Post your guesses! Raw Results 4/27:
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Apr 28, 2020 04:00
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It's a trick question and you put no lies in your recap.
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Apr 28, 2020 05:06
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There is at least one lie in that recap!
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Apr 28, 2020 05:12
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I mean, I just assumed that "Chuck Taylor's gimmick" meant that the WWE champion said poo poo on TV (or was prevented from saying poo poo on TV) and not that the WWE champion (whoever that is) was an insecure millennial who is the loud-mouth portion of a semi-serious, semi-comedy tag team and also the greatest wrestler of all time.
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Apr 28, 2020 05:17
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Drew McIntyre did indeed say the S-Word on television.
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Apr 28, 2020 05:27
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Trick question that's actually a recap of every Raw
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Apr 28, 2020 05:44
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Jerusalem posted:[*] An unapologetic racist got into the ring and was asked to leave. Found the lie. Vince would never willingly ask a racist to leave for being racist, he would tell the racist to be more racist.
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Apr 28, 2020 06:11
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That one is true, if worded to give the impression the racist was asked to leave for being racist. In this case, the racist was Jerry Lawler but Drew McIntyre's polite request that he leave the ring was unrelated to Lawler's racism.
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Apr 28, 2020 06:24
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See now I'm back to thinking it's a trick question.
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Apr 28, 2020 06:29
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It's no trick, there is at least one item on that list that I made up entirely whole cloth.
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Apr 28, 2020 06:55
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 08:41 |
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Jerusalem posted:It's no trick, there is at least one item on that list that I made up entirely whole cloth. There was no mention of Saudi Arabia was there?
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Apr 28, 2020 07:06
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