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Doesn’t conjured stuff disappear after an hour so you can’t actually eat it and keep any nutrition from it. I have a vague memory of leprechaun gold being the same deal, you can find it but since it’s conjured up it will just disappear before you can spend it. But I might be thinking of Artemis Fowl or something
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Apr 25, 2020 19:22
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The last book clarifies that you can't actually summon food from nothing. It's why they spend most of their running time starving Conjured food has no nutrition
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Apr 25, 2020 19:31
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Smirking_Serpent posted:even if magic can't create food out of nothing, just being able to instantly transport it somewhere could save thousands of lives. The horrifying implication that Hogwarts has been able to trivially transport in fresh ingredients from anywhere on the planet and they still wind up with dogshit English food is sufficient evidence that the institution needs to be torn down to the very last brick and all record of it burnt from history. reignofevil posted:The philosophical implications of turning a teacup into a mouse are stunning. Not Harry Potter, but in Gods of Food one of the chefs makes an apple that when you bite it, you briefly switch consciousness with the apple. The food critics involved proceed to have philosophical meltdowns.
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Apr 25, 2020 19:48
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Pick posted:They can literally summit up food out of nothing, even ignoring that some people still live with food insecurity, you could suddenly have cruelty free meat. This is actually explicitly stated to not be possible. Food is one of the fundamental unmakeable things. I don't remember the exact wording but there's a law (like a law of physics not like a law of you shall not steal) that says you can't summon food out of nothing. The food at the feasts in Hogwarts is made by house elves in the basement right under the great hall and Dumbledore just teleports it. You can however make goblets out of birds and mice out of cups and poo poo so you can make meat out of not meat and you can make other things out of nothing (I'm guessing otherwise food wouldn't be an exception) so I guess they could make cups out of nothing and then turn those cups into fantasy world poor person grub and solve hunger but wizards and witches are also said to be loving morons when it comes to logic and reasoning so kids will have to starve I guess. Another question: How the gently caress does hogwarts make money? Dumbledore offers to pay his house elves, all hundreds of them, several gallons per week. They decline, which is good, because that would be like thousands of gallons per week and that can literally buy you the most expensive thing seen in the whole series several times over. I think it's also stated that wizards and witches are bad at numbers and math and economics so I guess this is just a prime example of that?
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Apr 25, 2020 20:07
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Man with Hat posted:This is actually explicitly stated to not be possible. Food is one of the fundamental unmakeable things. I don't remember the exact wording but there's a law (like a law of physics not like a law of you shall not steal) that says you can't summon food out of nothing. The food at the feasts in Hogwarts is made by house elves in the basement right under the great hall and Dumbledore just teleports it. A massive endowment from all of the richest wizards in England.
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Apr 25, 2020 20:45
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The food rule is on par with all the rules the fairly oddparents made up about wishes.Man with Hat posted:Another question: How the gently caress does hogwarts make money? Dumbledore offers to pay his house elves, all hundreds of them, several gallons per week. They decline, which is good, because that would be like thousands of gallons per week and that can literally buy you the most expensive thing seen in the whole series several times over. I think it's also stated that wizards and witches are bad at numbers and math and economics so I guess this is just a prime example of that? Hordes of treasure plundered from ancient wizard wars, goblins, and unsuspecting muggles. And a cursed fountain that cries hot, fresh, molten gold
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Apr 25, 2020 20:59
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We took my wife's younger cousin and her best friend to go see Deathly Hallows pt1 in theaters and both the girls were bawling their goddamn eyes out. I dunno why but it was really funny.
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Apr 26, 2020 00:10
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FunkyAl posted:The food rule is on par with all the rules the fairly oddparents made up about wishes. hogwarts is basically the scp foundation
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Apr 26, 2020 06:00
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Chuck Buried Treasure posted:Doesn’t conjured stuff disappear after an hour so you can’t actually eat it and keep any nutrition from it. I have a vague memory of leprechaun gold being the same deal, you can find it but since it’s conjured up it will just disappear before you can spend it. But I might be thinking of Artemis Fowl or something Nah, that's Harry Potter. Artemis Fowl leprechauns are basically just a swat team that also happens to enjoy some casual mind wiping. I remember rolling my eyes at AF faeries a lot as a child, not really sure if they were as terrible as wizards though.
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Apr 26, 2020 22:24
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Regarding being a hufflepuff via online quiz, I remember there was one that seemed normal like the others but no matter what you put in you were put in hufflepuff for exactly that reason
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Apr 27, 2020 01:20
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Barudak posted:Regarding being a hufflepuff via online quiz, I remember there was one that seemed normal like the others but no matter what you put in you were put in hufflepuff for exactly that reason That is loving hilarious
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Apr 27, 2020 05:05
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Considering that the books established that world leaders are aware of wizards and actively work with them to cover up wizarding-related disasters that are too big to hide from the public I'm just going to assume that means Harry Potter either failed to prevent 9/11 or actively worked to create the cover of the plane hijackings.
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Apr 27, 2020 05:46
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Caidin posted:Nah, that's Harry Potter. Artemis Fowl leprechauns are basically just a swat team that also happens to enjoy some casual mind wiping. AF does actually acknowledge fairies are jerks and pretty morally grey at best, outright calling humans Mud People while having relocated their entire civilisation to the lower mantle to hide from them. (Fairies are also kinda vampires minus the blood drinking) They're also pretty racist towards each other. And the whole premise is about a tween genius human finding out about them and playing them for fools for cold hard gold bars. (also curing his mom's depression) I remember interested petering off with the later books but I did like them, they've got smart-rear end sense of humour and don't take themselves too seriously.
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Apr 27, 2020 06:49
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Middle-aged Harry Potter swearing in interviews that if he hadn't missed his flight that fateful morning he could have stopped the hijackers.
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Apr 27, 2020 06:54
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Please, like Harry would be gadding about the US with the... 'no-majs.' (Really, Rowling? That's slang you think actual people would adopt? Okay.)
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Apr 27, 2020 14:31
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Besides the muggles, I'm not sure how the wizard government itself operates with all the magical brainwashing and hypnotism going on. Probably at least half of all wizards in the government were brainwashed while Voldemort was in charge, which I am sure ALSO happened when he was in power to begin with. How are these people functioning in their day-to-day work? Are they being manipulated through every step of their boring wizard paperwork, written on parchment with quill, or does the death eater zone out for that and let him do his thing? Is anyone suffering long term brain damage? Are bureaucratic wizard essentials going ignored because everybody is hiding essential (wizard zoning) information from each other? Is this why wizards haven't built a new school in 1,000 years?
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Apr 27, 2020 15:13
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Sleeveless posted:Considering that the books established that world leaders are aware of wizards and actively work with them to cover up wizarding-related disasters that are too big to hide from the public I'm just going to assume that means Harry Potter either failed to prevent 9/11 or actively worked to create the cover of the plane hijackings. Why would anyone not in the US give a poo poo about 9/11?
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Apr 27, 2020 17:45
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Hell, why would anyone in the wizarding world give a poo poo about dead muggles. Lol check out these dumbasses still using jet engines to traverse long distances *izzy-wizzy-woos a steam train to go on clouds*
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Apr 28, 2020 00:50
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I don't think wizard society could survive smartphones. Edit: I don't mean the camera aspect, I mean the handiness of it.
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Apr 28, 2020 01:43
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Ron, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Muggle Storage"? 
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Apr 28, 2020 02:42
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VanSandman posted:I don't think wizard society could survive smartphones. They get around that (and also why muggle raised people like Harry don't immediately destroy wizard society with modernity) by saying that "technology" becomes more and more unreliable and prone to breakdowns the more magic poo poo is in the area. At one point Harry suggested recording someone with a microphone and gets told it won't work, because Hogwarts has so many enchanted doodads, ancient curses, and kids shooting off their wands, that anything techy will just short circuit or fall apart. And to be fair this makes a lot of sense for why wizards are so backwards. If you were a muggle-born wizard and you had to choose between just teleporting vs driving during rush hour, or between instantly healing injuries with a potion vs major surgeries and months of physical therapy, 99% chance you'd flip science the bird and never look back. Of course this brings up the question as to what counts as advanced enough to break down from magic. Indoor plumbing apparently works just fine, They have a Steam Train even if there's some excuse it runs on magic clean coal shat out by unicorns or something.
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May 2, 2020 07:15
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galagazombie posted:Of course this brings up the question as to what counts as advanced enough to break down from magic. Indoor plumbing apparently works just fine, They have a Steam Train even if there's some excuse it runs on magic clean coal shat out by unicorns or something. Seems like "circuitry" is the answer galagazombie posted:instantly healing injuries with a potion vs major surgeries and months of physical therapy Magical medical procedures typically sound hellacious (I'm specifically thinking of Harry drinking a terrible potion to repair his arm then having to spend a day in bed in extraordinary pain, feeling like enormous hot splinters were growing inside his body.) It seems to be a trade-off: "Do you want surgery under anesthesia and a course of physical therapy? Or all of that pain, up front, immediately?"
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May 2, 2020 08:06
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if you're in the vicinity of magic you can't set a bone. magic prevents it. magic's a real fuckin pain in the noots
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May 2, 2020 08:09
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That potion was to specifically regrow his bone.
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May 2, 2020 08:10
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Roth posted:That potion was to specifically regrow his bone. Yeah that whole scene was foreshadowing that that teacher was a fraud. Harry breaks his arm and the teacher "solves" it by magically disintegrating all Harry's arm bones. The nurse is all "Why didn't he just use the Immediatus fixus brokenus boneus spell that every idiot knows? Now I have to regrow them from scratch with this horrible potion". Which considering modern medical science can't regrow your skeleton, is still another point for abandoning science.
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May 2, 2020 08:32
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VanSandman posted:I don't think wizard society could survive smartphones. I always wondered why Harry and Hermione couldn't communicate during the summer just using email.
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May 2, 2020 16:13
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SolarFire2 posted:I always wondered why Harry and Hermione couldn't communicate during the summer just using email. Because the series takes place in the days before the widespread use of the internet. And also because for the first half of the series, Harry's aunt and uncle effectively held him prisoner over each summer break and refused to allow him to contact his friends.
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May 2, 2020 16:27
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SolarFire2 posted:I always wondered why Harry and Hermione couldn't communicate during the summer just using email. The series takes place from 1991-1998 which is well before the internet or even free email was ubiquitous.
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May 2, 2020 16:43
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galagazombie posted:Yeah that whole scene was foreshadowing that that teacher was a fraud. Harry breaks his arm and the teacher "solves" it by magically disintegrating all Harry's arm bones. The nurse is all "Why didn't he just use the Immediatus fixus brokenus boneus spell that every idiot knows? Now I have to regrow them from scratch with this horrible potion". Which considering modern medical science can't regrow your skeleton, is still another point for abandoning science. Funny thing is the whole implication is if you treat magic like science then you basically break it over your knee eventually, which is the whole basis of Hermione's character. galagazombie posted:They get around that (and also why muggle raised people like Harry don't immediately destroy wizard society with modernity) by saying that "technology" becomes more and more unreliable and prone to breakdowns the more magic poo poo is in the area. At one point Harry suggested recording someone with a microphone and gets told it won't work, because Hogwarts has so many enchanted doodads, ancient curses, and kids shooting off their wands, that anything techy will just short circuit or fall apart. And to be fair this makes a lot of sense for why wizards are so backwards. If you were a muggle-born wizard and you had to choose between just teleporting vs driving during rush hour, or between instantly healing injuries with a potion vs major surgeries and months of physical therapy, 99% chance you'd flip science the bird and never look back. Of course this brings up the question as to what counts as advanced enough to break down from magic. Indoor plumbing apparently works just fine, They have a Steam Train even if there's some excuse it runs on magic clean coal shat out by unicorns or something. Impression I got, though I may be importing Dresden Files ideas (which has its own silliness but at least tries to be consistent in a bless-his-heart way) is that the wizard world is about 70 years or so behind the muggle one, since they have wireless radio, and given enough time and most of the old fuckers dying they eventually get the hang of technology and incorporate it into magic.
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May 2, 2020 19:06
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Impression I got, though I may be importing Dresden Files ideas (which has its own silliness but at least tries to be consistent in a bless-his-heart way) is that the wizard world is about 70 years or so behind the muggle one, since they have wireless radio, and given enough time and most of the old fuckers dying they eventually get the hang of technology and incorporate it into magic. I love the hoops the Dresden Files jumps through to explain how a wizard who can't exist around technogy or use computers is able to constantly reference movies and make snarky internet references, like going to a drive-in theater and playing D&D with a.bunch of internet nerd werewolves so he's up to date on the latest memes.
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May 2, 2020 19:14
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The reason there are so few wizards is that every time a new technology is introduced, half of wizards self-immolate in protest.
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May 2, 2020 19:49
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I always forget the fat cousins real name is Dudley because in my mind he will always be Ragtime Roast Beefy.
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May 2, 2020 20:21
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W.T. Fits posted:Because the series takes place in the days before the widespread use of the internet. And also because for the first half of the series, Harry's aunt and uncle effectively held him prisoner over each summer break and refused to allow him to contact his friends. Yeah. Dudley's not exactly going to let him into his room so Harry can long on CompuServe.
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May 2, 2020 23:13
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Is the phone super tied up? I don't remember them calling, unless they did.
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May 2, 2020 23:21
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FunkyAl posted:Is the phone super tied up? I don't remember them calling, unless they did. Ron called once and Vernon got pissed that Harry gave out their phone number.
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May 2, 2020 23:27
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Zore posted:The series takes place from 1991-1998 which is well before the internet or even free email was ubiquitous. That makes sense. Even though I was around for it I don't recall when public libraries having internet access became common.
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May 2, 2020 23:43
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Roth posted:Ron called once and Vernon got pissed that Harry gave out their phone number. The Dursleys are generally super loving abusive especially in the early books; in the second or third book I think they've barricaded Harry in his room and the Weasleys have to break him out. (Luckily they know how to pick locks the non magical way) Dudley actually gets a bit better later on, Dumbledore does point out at one point that as bad as the Dursleys treat Harry, at least he's functional, while Dudley becomes an obese spoiled brat until his school forces him to diet because he doesn't fit into his uniform anymore. A surprisingly common real life result of golden child/scapegoat dynamics. (though weirdly enough there's a E/N story where the adopted cousin becomes the spoiled useless golden child while their kids become the scapegoats)
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May 3, 2020 15:18
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Ghost Leviathan posted:The Dursleys are generally super loving abusive especially in the early books; in the second or third book I think they've barricaded Harry in his room and the Weasleys have to break him out. (Luckily they know how to pick locks the non magical way) Second book. They put a padlock on his owl's cage so he can't let it out at night (because they're afraid he'll use it to contact his friends) but don't actually make the move to fully imprisoning him until after Dobby uses magic nearby, which Harry gets blamed for. The Ministry of Magic sends them a letter reprimanding him and threatening him with expulsion from Hogwarts if he uses magic outside school grounds again. At that point, Vernon goes full prison warden and locks Harry up in his room full time, bars on the windows and a small pet door installed in the bedroom door so that they can feed him without having to actually let him out of the room. Vernon's logic being that either Harry will be forced to stay locked up forever, meaning he can't return to Hogwarts and they won't have to put up with this wizard bullshit anymore... or Harry will use magic to get free, which will get him expelled, meaning he can't return to Hogwarts and they won't have to put up with this wizard bullshit anymore. What Vernon didn't consider was the possibility that there would be wizards who could spring Harry using non-magical means. Hell, one of the twins straight up says that they learned how to pick locks the nonmagical way for precisely these kinds of circumstances. Roth posted:Ron called once and Vernon got pissed that Harry gave out their phone number. It didn't quite help that Ron, not knowing exactly how telephones work, was bellowing into it at the top of his lungs. Harry speculates that Ron probably warned Hermione not to try calling Harry, which wouldn't have caused a problem since Hermione would know how to use a telephone due to not coming from a wizard family, and would also have enough sense to not mention Hogwarts or other wizard stuff to tip Vernon off.
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May 3, 2020 15:55
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They guy who plays uncle vernon is my favorite part of these movies.
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May 3, 2020 16:28
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I think the fact that dude had a kid is a bit inspiring for a lot of people. I mean, Vernon fucks. Who knew?
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May 3, 2020 18:27
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