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euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Imagined posted:

Bombadil aside. The first movie is also always my favorite because it sticks closest to the book and nails the tone shift from Hobbit 2: Electric Boogaloo to holy poo poo immortal ghosts are gonna eat our souls.

It goes vastly VASTLY astray from the books

It’s still awesome tho I agree

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skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

euphronius posted:

It goes vastly VASTLY astray from the books

It’s still awesome tho I agree

This and “sticks closest to the book” could both be true

Tho idk if I would say that it is

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
It’s interesting how Balin’s Tomb is the turning point both for the writing, but also for the text itself. Even after the Council where we learn more about how important the quest is, it’s really just a hobbit adventure. Even the wolf attack isn’t really presented as an existential threat. It’s only once we get to Balin’s Tomb that things really change. So it’s interesting that it’s also where Tolkien stalled for a long time.

With regard to Fellowship, the oddest thing about the whole movie is that Frodo and Sam literally bump into Merry and Pippin in a field, who then join them on a year-long adventure immediately. I know they all get scared by the Nazgul and want to help, but you’ve gotta wonder what their families thought.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Pippin is a Took.

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

webmeister posted:

With regard to Fellowship, the oddest thing about the whole movie is that Frodo and Sam literally bump into Merry and Pippin in a field, who then join them on a year-long adventure immediately. I know they all get scared by the Nazgul and want to help, but you’ve gotta wonder what their families thought.

Probably figured Gandalf had dragooned them into forced servitude again

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007

skasion posted:

This and “sticks closest to the book” could both be true

Tho idk if I would say that it is

I guess I should say that each of the other movies includes additions and new inventions that piss me off -- the elves showing up at Helms Deep, for ex. The character assassinations of Denethor and Faramir. Where Fellowship differs largely from the book is in leaving things out, which on the whole I'm more sympathetic to.

Trin Tragula
Apr 22, 2005

webmeister posted:

It’s interesting how Balin’s Tomb is the turning point both for the writing, but also for the text itself. Even after the Council where we learn more about how important the quest is, it’s really just a hobbit adventure. Even the wolf attack isn’t really presented as an existential threat. It’s only once we get to Balin’s Tomb that things really change.

I dunno, if we have to pick a moment when that changes, I think I prefer Weathertop. Leading up to it, you've got the growing hardships, the first hints of really adverse terrain, Sam suddenly reciting poetry about Gil-galad out of nowhere, Strider going into great detail about how the Nazgul perceive the world, the tale of Tinuviel, the first hints of Morgoth and the Silmarils, the first mention of Númenor by that name. Then the first real physical fight comes in when the Nazgul attack, and it goes about as well as the attackers can hope for, and one of our heroes suffers a lasting consequence for the first time. Strider goes for athelas and finds it. And then they move on, they start picking up more companions and allies, and the hope of more assistance to come.

(In the middle of which, Sam gives more poetry and we get a wonderful little line that I've only just noticed and now I can't get over how great it is.)

quote:

'Where did you come by that, Sam?’ asked Pippin. ‘I’ve never heard those words before.’

Sam muttered something inaudible.

‘It’s out of his own head, of course,’ said Frodo. ‘I am learning a lot about Sam Gamgee on this journey. First he was a conspirator, now he’s a jester. He’ll end up by becoming a wizard – or a warrior!'

You're right there, Mr Frodo!

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
https://twitter.com/AlexArrelia/status/1260280698390425605?s=20

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

Imagined posted:

I guess I should say that each of the other movies includes additions and new inventions that piss me off -- the elves showing up at Helms Deep, for ex. The character assassinations of Denethor and Faramir. Where Fellowship differs largely from the book is in leaving things out, which on the whole I'm more sympathetic to.

And Gimli.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
This is amazing. :allears:

Men and once-men, tag yourself. I was definitely a Faramir.

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Oh this is just excellent. Especially that very expressive Faramir gif.

e: I think I was a Faramir-Frodo-combo

e:e: only not attractive

Tree Bucket fucked around with this message at 11:38 on May 13, 2020

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
Definitely a Boromir :smith:

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



I'm a god drat Éomer

YaketySass
Jan 15, 2019

Blind Idiot Dog

Oh come on, Gimli's not a football guy, he's the sensitive artistic type.

YaketySass fucked around with this message at 12:10 on May 13, 2020

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Pretty sure I'm a Frodo

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

I'm a complete Faramir

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Interesting exercise to think about how much of these are based on exclusively movie characterizations, and whether that's because they differ from the book characterization or the book didn't really have much of one

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Data Graham posted:

Interesting exercise to think about how much of these are based on exclusively movie characterizations, and whether that's because they differ from the book characterization or the book didn't really have much of one

Gonna really nerd the gently caress out here, hold on tight:

One reason it works is that the movie is very clearly cast with a female gaze. All the men are hunky beautiful bois you can easily sexualize

Yes, even Ian McKellen, who I have on good authority packs absolutely huge dong (a friend saw him do a nude scene on Broadway)

This sort of thought exercise isn't possible with the bare text because Tolkien did not sexualize his characters to anything like the same extent

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

Gonna really nerd the gently caress out here, hold on tight:

One reason it works is that the movie is very clearly cast with a female gaze. All the men are hunky beautiful bois you can easily sexualize

Yes, even Ian McKellen, who I have on good authority packs absolutely huge dong (a friend saw him do a nude scene on Broadway)

This sort of thought exercise isn't possible with the bare text because Tolkien did not sexualize his characters to anything like the same extent

Gandalf means 'wand-elf'.

From https://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wands.htm

A typical wand is 6 inches to 12 inches long and about ¼ inch thick, and often weighs no more than 1 ounce. Most wands are wood, but some are bone.

Yeah, the text doesn't support this. Though tbf, it's rather long.

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

ChubbyChecker posted:

Gandalf means 'wand-elf'.

From https://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wands.htm

A typical wand is 6 inches to 12 inches long and about ¼ inch thick, and often weighs no more than 1 ounce. Most wands are wood, but some are bone.

Yeah, the text doesn't support this. Though tbf, it's rather long.

6 inches is rather long? I thought it was 4.

This is very unsettling.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Don’t even be talking about specific inch lengths and composition and rigidity of wands in this thread

Sky Shadowing
Feb 13, 2012

At least we're not the Thalmor (yet)
When I watched the first Hobbit movie I was pretty generally pleased because it felt like a Hobbit that tied in more closely to the Lord of the Rings, which I think is something Tolkien himself began writing but stopped after being advised that, even though it was very good, it was losing the spirit of the Hobbit in some ways.

The second and third movies though just had too many issues, especially the second, with pacing and dragging.

Trin Tragula
Apr 22, 2005

Data Graham posted:

Don’t even be talking about specific inch lengths and composition and rigidity of wands in this thread

Quite right too. I mean, Gandalf doesn't even have a wand, you dirty-minded troglodytes :rolleyes:

He has a proud, famous staff, thank you so very much :wiggle:

Mahoning
Feb 3, 2007

Trin Tragula posted:

(In the middle of which, Sam gives more poetry and we get a wonderful little line that I've only just noticed and now I can't get over how great it is.)


You're right there, Mr Frodo!

This troll song that Sam sings OWNS in the audiobook. Sounds like an Irish drinking song.

Also, I laughed out loud today in the car while listening....most chapters are between 35 and 55 minutes in length. And the Council of Elrond clocks in at.....1 hr 45 min!

Gandalf’s story about being captured by Saruman goes on for 20 minutes.

Issaries
Sep 15, 2008

"Negotiations were going well. They were very impressed by my hat." -Issaries the Concilliator"

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

Pretty sure I'm a Frodo

I'm pretty sure we're all Fatty Bolgers. Not cool enough for the adventure.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Fatty gets skinny later !!!

dwarf74
Sep 2, 2012



Buglord
Somehow I fell down a rabbit hole into ICE's Middle Earth Role-Playing this weekend, and silly though it's been, I am enjoying this Middle-Earth Extended Universe stuff they have got going on.

I got dragged into it by going back and marveling at how amazing Fenlon's maps are.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9qwm-rNX9YEX0hUYkZDdzY1Tjg

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

dwarf74 posted:

Somehow I fell down a rabbit hole into ICE's Middle Earth Role-Playing this weekend, and silly though it's been, I am enjoying this Middle-Earth Extended Universe stuff they have got going on.

I got dragged into it by going back and marveling at how amazing Fenlon's maps are.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9qwm-rNX9YEX0hUYkZDdzY1Tjg

now that's a silly game

paranoia level deathrates for pcs

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Hahah that map is absurd

Ynglaur
Oct 9, 2013

The Malta Conference, anyone?
MERP was based on a system called Rolemaster. A new version is coming out soonish (been in development the last 5 years). It's a fun system if you're into detailed rules and RPGs.

dwarf74
Sep 2, 2012



Buglord

ChubbyChecker posted:

now that's a silly game

paranoia level deathrates for pcs
It is legendary in its mismatch between genre and rules. It's like Exhibit A.

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(
"Legolas probably achieved least of the Nine Walker"

drat, Tolkien with the burns. I should reread the books at some point. Unfinished tales is quite good, even though I pretty much ignored some geographic descriptions or movements. Like, the borders of that forest kingdom, who even has the time to learn all the different versions and understand the inconsitencies.

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007
What do you think Gandalf and Bombadil talk about at the end of ROTK. Wizard poo poo? Gandalf says Bombadil wouldn't give a poo poo about anything they did except maybe the ents.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

They probably sang songs about nature op

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Imagined posted:

What do you think Gandalf and Bombadil talk about at the end of ROTK. Wizard poo poo? Gandalf says Bombadil wouldn't give a poo poo about anything they did except maybe the ents.

Bombadil has the dankest of all Pipe Weed. Gandalf was tripping for literal years.

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





Imagined posted:

What do you think Gandalf and Bombadil talk about at the end of ROTK. Wizard poo poo? Gandalf says Bombadil wouldn't give a poo poo about anything they did except maybe the ents.

Gandalf: So, Sauron's dead.

Tom: So I heard.

Gandalf: So... uh, I saw a dung beetle on the way back north.

Tom: Let me tell you about those dung beetles...

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

i dont like adaptations of the books that make the world seem too populated, a big part of what makes the books enjoyable to me is that theyre wandering a basically abandoned wilderness all the way up to gondor. the impression you get from the books is that the shire and bree are tiny oases and that the rest of eriador is just barrow downs and abandoned ruins and swamps with maybe a few ranger camps or something. videogames based on the books always do this because it's hard to make a game without NPC's i guess

this is one thing the movies actually did get mostly right

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Brought to you by the New Zealand Tourism Board.

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

PMush Perfect posted:

Brought to you by the New Zealand Tourism Board.

i still think they shouldve been filmed in scotland or iceland though, the landscape i picture reading the books is primordial-european, new zealand is a bit too rocky and grand

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girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Imagined posted:

What do you think Gandalf and Bombadil talk about at the end of ROTK. Wizard poo poo? Gandalf says Bombadil wouldn't give a poo poo about anything they did except maybe the ents.
Obviously, Gandalf spills the tea about what happened with his late ex-husband Saruman.

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