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Island Nation
Jun 20, 2006
Trust No One
5 hour cut of Apocalypse Now please

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Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Island Nation posted:

5 hour cut of Apocalypse Now please

Why go through the effort of adding just a few more minutes?

a shitty king
Mar 26, 2010
Michael Bay movies are known death traps in the US Stunt work community so everyone saying oh itll be ok as long as its safe, lol.

davidspackage
May 16, 2007

Nap Ghost
At last, we'll have the Dances With Wolves cut we've always deserved.

Chairman Capone
Dec 17, 2008

Enos Cabell posted:

Is it wrong that I was really hoping this was a Twins remake before I saw the text?

Tiptoes was almost this. Gary Oldman plays the dwarf twin brother of Matthew McConaughey, and Peter Dinklage is in it as Gary Oldman's best friend.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

davidspackage posted:

At last, we'll have the Dances With Wolves cut we've always deserved.

My dad loved that movie when it came out, and he talked a lot about some extended version of it.

aware of dog
Nov 14, 2016
A new trailer for Christopher Nolan’s Tenet will be released this evening

...In Fortnite
https://twitter.com/fortnitegame/status/1263560233764429824?s=21

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


There was supposed to be a super long version of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford that I'd definitely like to see.

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012

Finally, the original 325 minute long workprint of Heaven's Gate will get the recognition it deserves.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

a lovely king posted:

Michael Bay movies are known death traps in the US Stunt work community so everyone saying oh itll be ok as long as its safe, lol.

...got any more on this? Curious about the details more than arguing.

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



380 minute cut of "dude where's my car" when?


I dunno the Snyder cut seems like a gamble that can really pay off.
I hope he fixes the Diane lane /Amy Adams scenes, that poo poo was loving dire.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Only major injury on a Bay film that I know of was in a car crash in TF3, which is why stock footage from The Island (with robots added) appears instead of the planned shot.

Tars Tarkas
Apr 13, 2003

Rock the Mok



A nasty woman, I think you should try is, Jess.


aware of dog posted:

A new trailer for Christopher Nolan’s Tenet will be released this evening

...In Fortnite
https://twitter.com/fortnitegame/status/1263560233764429824?s=21
Best response to this trend I've seen
https://twitter.com/TheFilmStage/status/1263584071638085632

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004
12 year old kids fuckin' love Christopher Nolan's cerebral and emotionless films that prioritize well-crafted tension over action and character.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


Mierenneuker posted:

You know, if we continue going down this road it will eventually lead us to the 3 1/2 hours long cut of Mission: Impossible 2. So I think it's worth it.

Someone will find the lost Event Horizon footage

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004
The lost Event Horizon footage is just a bunch of people in 90s rave/BDSM gear writhing around in fake blood in a totally uninteresting way, I guarantee it.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
Since we already have a wannabe dictator in charge have him make a 9 hour epic in which he plays a virile action hero who kills libs and terrorists and anyone who falls asleep or laughs at his man girdle during the screening gets put in the tweetorium

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I dream of one day seeing every single bit of The Thin Red Line.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
It is impossible to watch that in 24 hours

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

feedmyleg posted:

12 year old kids fuckin' love Christopher Nolan's cerebral and emotionless films that prioritize well-crafted tension over action and character.

Nolan's movies have plenty of action, though...?

Like, I do have to wonder how his stuff plays in a post-Marvel world (TDKR being kind of disliked and Dunkirk not really sticking in people's minds kind of makes me worry), but before Marvel pretty much set a new template for blockbusters his stuff did fine with kids.

Nightmare Cinema
Apr 4, 2020

no.

aware of dog posted:

A new trailer for Christopher Nolan’s Tenet will be released this evening

...In Fortnite
https://twitter.com/fortnitegame/status/1263560233764429824?s=21

So this is what aging feels like...

Catfishenfuego
Oct 21, 2008

Moist With Indignation

AceOfFlames posted:

Are you being sarcastic or do you honestly believe the man behind 13 Hours and an untold number of Pentagon Porn is going to do this?


Its only natural that during quarantine people movie choices closely resembles "stuck in airplane". Hell, I actually had the occasional urge to rewatch Gods of Egypt these last few weeks.

People on this subforum have a bizarre faith that white men who own multimillion dollar private jets and have histories of blatant bigotry are actually secret leftist comrades sticking it to the man.

sethsez
Jul 14, 2006

He's soooo dreamy...

feedmyleg posted:

12 year old kids fuckin' love Christopher Nolan's cerebral and emotionless films that prioritize well-crafted tension over action and character.

Inception is remembered almost exclusively for its high concept and incredible action and effects, The Dark Knight became a phenomenon on the back of a single character, and teens and tweens loved 'em both. He ain't exactly Godard.

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004
Look, quibble all you want on my summation, I'm just saying—he's not exactly known for making the sorts of films that the Fortnight crowd go nuts for. It's a bizarro marketing strategy.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

The playerbase for Fortnite weren´t born when The Dark Knight premiered.

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

Everyone of every age group plays fortnite.

duz
Jul 11, 2005

Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost


What do you think the Fortnight crowd is?

The Klowner
Apr 20, 2019

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Catfishenfuego posted:

People on this subforum have a bizarre faith that white men who own multimillion dollar private jets and have histories of blatant bigotry are actually secret leftist comrades sticking it to the man.

By people I assume you mean one person, specifically SMG

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN

Catfishenfuego posted:

People on this subforum have a bizarre faith that white men who own multimillion dollar private jets and have histories of blatant bigotry are actually secret leftist comrades sticking it to the man.

It's not exactly secret if you make a series of movies about it, which is why you shifted away from talking about them. Like, not even a specific allegation of "blatant bigotry".

It's like how Britney Spears called for a general strike, but also has songs with curse words in them (bitch, etc.). There was subsequently jokey speculation that the song Work Bitch is about the labor theory of value, which touches on the basic truth of the song's double meaning: both that getting superstar-fit is not at all effortless, and that that sort of lifestyle is pretty unobtainable to those who must sell their labor for 40 hours a week to survive. The basic tension of the song is in how it comes across as simultaneously inspirational and taunting.

It's a common anti-progressive tactic to try to sow division as you are doing: "don't you know Bay is a white man? Aren't you envious of his jet (?) ?" No; I have no particular desire to own a jet, or to stoke racial conflict as a distraction from class conflict. I'm interested in using popular culture as a vehicle to critique capitalism, and Bay's films are useful for that.

Many film directors are white, many are probably wealthy. Are you prepared to dismiss all 'white man" films this way? Or are you being duplicitous?

sethsez
Jul 14, 2006

He's soooo dreamy...

FreudianSlippers posted:

The playerbase for Fortnite weren´t born when The Dark Knight premiered.

Even playing into the notion that nobody over 14 plays Fortnite (which ain't true), 2020 tweens aren't so fundamentally different from 2008 tweens that a big expensive action movie is somehow too highbrow for them.

pospysyl
Nov 10, 2012



White people are an invention of capitalism, which is why it took Bong Joon-ho to create the first and only anti-capitalist film.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.
Bay's movies are an incredibly dark satire of America. It doesn't matter if they're that way on purpose or on accident.

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

MonsieurChoc posted:

Bay is an incredibly dark satire of America. It doesn't matter if they're that way on purpose or on accident.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

WeedlordGoku69 posted:

Nolan's movies have plenty of action, though...?
There's something oddly sterile and detached about Nolan's action sequences. They never quite pull you in enough to involve you on a visceral level, but make you go "Well, this certainly is an expensive and technically proficient cinematic set-piece."

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

MonsieurChoc posted:

Bay's movies are an incredibly dark satire of America. It doesn't matter if they're that way on purpose or on accident.

I mean, it’s been pretty obvious since Pain & Gain.

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012

WeedlordGoku69 posted:

...got any more on this? Curious about the details more than arguing.

The DVD commentaries on Bay's movies will usually mention one or two near fatal accidents. There's a bit in the infamous Armageddon commentary where Bruce Willis mentions someone nearly died in the scene where the derrick goes out of control (which ends up being unintentionally hilarious since it's a perfect proof of how Willis and Affleck were recording their tracks separately: Affleck had just spent the past 2 minutes laughing and making goofy noises).

ruddiger posted:

I mean, it’s been pretty obvious since Pain & Gain.

Pain and Gain was an amazing satire but the bit near the end where all of a sudden the cops become hyper competent and wishing to redeem themselves even though all of this happened in part because they didn't do their jobs properly tells you every thing you need to know about Bay.

AceOfFlames fucked around with this message at 06:51 on May 22, 2020

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



i watched 6 Underground in the background while doing work but I don't really think you can call it a satire when it actually casts the "white/Western saviours doing CIA tactics in deposing a brown nation leader and installing their own preferred nicer guy" in a good light

the guys who hosed up their Venezuela mission to kidnap Maduro, that was a pretty good satire

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
https://twitter.com/Jason_MI5/status/1167685526855569408?s=20

I could have sworn the Onion did a thing about Michael Bay backseat driving a hostage situation that went tits up (I think it was the Russian theater taken over by Chechens or the school one). I remember it being deleted

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

Len posted:

Someone will find the lost Event Horizon footage

feedmyleg posted:

The lost Event Horizon footage is just a bunch of people in 90s rave/BDSM gear writhing around in fake blood in a totally uninteresting way, I guarantee it.

Hmm...

quote:

-The infamous "bloody orgy" video was also longer. Parts which are still in the scene, like one of the crew members sticking his fingers deep into other one's eyes, and a female crew member sodomizing male crew member with iron pipe, were even more violent in original version of the scene. There were also lot more shots of Event Horizon crew naked and covered in blood having violent sex and raping and eating each other, more graphic version of the scene where man pulls his intestines out of his mouth, one crew member is held and stabbed in back of the head with spike and part of his mouth and teeth drops out, other crew member is crawling on floor while others are hitting his legs with steel bars smashing them to pieces as he screams and is crawling away leaving pieces of his legs behind, one girl has screws drilled into her teeth, other girl is held while her arm is broken with hunk of metal, one more girl has her breasts mauled and then ripped off by another crew member, some other parts of the scene were also cut. The reason why this scene disturbed the test audience was because the filmmakers, in order to make the scene look more realistic and therefore a lot more violent, hired real-life amputees for special effects scenes where Event Horizon crew members had their body parts damaged in many ways, and porn actors were hired to make the sex and rape scenes more graphic. According to producer Jeremy Bolt and director Paul W.S. Anderson, during the screening of a rough cut of the movie, some audience members started fainting while watching this scene.

I have changed my opinion. I guess it is possible to go too far down the rabbit hole.

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BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.
An amusing anecdote with event horizon was that slowbeef was watching the movie at some point and his daughter walked in, so he paused it, but it happened to be during that scene, which in the final movie only appears in brief flashes so you can barely see anything - however due to the fact that he panic paused it it paused on one of those horrors, and he just kept trying and it just kept showing some new awful thing as he tried to get his daughter out. He mentioned it on a stream.

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