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Calico Heart
Mar 22, 2012

"wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"



You know, why not bring back French Revolutionary Name Days? I was born on Angelica!

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gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
I can get behind the idea of this being the month when pretty farm girls get ready to murder pigeons.

It was probably a royalist bird, anyway.

Beartaco
Apr 10, 2007

by sebmojo

HerStuddMuffin posted:

Not in the US, their calendars are all SMTWTFS when they have days of the week in columns, instead of the MTWTFSS you see elsewhere. I was told it’s because that’s the biblical week, but I have no idea if it’s true.

Surely it's the other way around with Sunday being the 7th day, the day of rest etc?

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos
The sun comes before the moon obviously.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Angepain posted:

I like her clothes being somewhat loose and flowing except for directly over a single boob that is perfectly visible somehow

Hey, that's a load-bearing boob!

Nenonen posted:

The week begins on Monday and ends on Sunday :mad:

HerStuddMuffin posted:

Not in the US, their calendars are all SMTWTFS when they have days of the week in columns, instead of the MTWTFSS you see elsewhere. I was told it’s because that’s the biblical week, but I have no idea if it’s true.

Beartaco posted:

Surely it's the other way around with Sunday being the 7th day, the day of rest etc?

The Sabbath, Saturday, was the day of rest before Christians decided to move it a day later.

Lawson
Apr 21, 2006

You're right, I agree.
Total Clam

Powered Descent posted:

Good thing there are no other possible things an independent variable can ever be except time.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Absurd Alhazred posted:

The Sabbath, Saturday, was the day of rest before Christians decided to move it a day later.

i always knew america was the true zion

Banana Canada
Sep 2, 2003
I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.



Here are my evil goals if I were a James Bond villain:

(1) increase the rotational speed of the Earth slightly so that a day is exactly 86,400 seconds
(2a) slow the orbit of the Earth so that it completes an orbit in exactly 360 days
(2b) institute a new calendar of 12 months - 30 days/month - 6 days/week (4 being weekdays and 2 being weekends)

Banana Canada has a new favorite as of 17:20 on May 21, 2020

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Where's your Kickstarter let's go

Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002

Banana Canada posted:

Here are my evil goals if I were a James Bond villain:

(1) increase the rotational speed of the Earth slightly so that a day is exactly 86,400 seconds
(2a) slow the orbit of the Earth so that it completes an orbit in exactly 360 days
(2b) institute a new calendar of 12 months - 30 days/month - 6 days/week (4 being weekdays and 2 being weekends)

(3) laugh as earth's slowed orbit spirals us all into the sun (probably in like a million years or something I don't want ot do the math rn)

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Banana Canada posted:

Here are my evil goals if I were a James Bond villain:

(1) increase the rotational speed of the Earth slightly so that a day is exactly 86,400 seconds
(2a) slow the orbit of the Earth so that it completes an orbit in exactly 360 days
(2b) institute a new calendar of 12 months - 30 days/month - 6 days/week (4 being weekdays and 2 being weekends)

Someday we'll have colonies on Mars. They're going to want clocks and time zones.

If Mars days were ridiculous, 4 hours or 931 hours, we'd be good, people would just ignore them and go by Earth days.

But no, they're 37 minutes longer than Earth days, so they're juuuuust close enough that they'd want to use their own days and then have leap hours or something.

It's gonna suck for people who have to make it work.

Deformed Church
May 12, 2012

5'5", IQ 81


Do you have any openings for henchman? I would be willing to move to a volcanic island and get a weird prosthetic for the cause.

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008

Fun Shoe

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

(3) laugh as earth's slowed orbit spirals us all into the sun (probably in like a million years or something I don't want ot do the math rn)

Well you could pull it off if you managed to properly circularize the orbit of the earth a little bit farther out from the sun, so it's just naturally longer. Might even reverse global warming, too! Of course depending on the change in distance it might reverse it so hard that we enter an eternal winter and devastate the ecosystem even more but such is the price we pay for a nice, orderly calendar year.

*edit* wait for a 360 day year we'd want the orbit to be shorter, so we'd need to be a bit closer to the sun.

The Cheshire Cat has a new favorite as of 18:04 on May 21, 2020

Unreal_One
Aug 18, 2010

Now you know how I don't like to use the sit-down gun, but this morning we just don't have time for mucking about.

The Cheshire Cat posted:

*edit* wait for a 360 day year we'd want the orbit to be shorter, so we'd need to be a bit closer to the sun.

Which is why you have to slow down the Earth, so you can go to a lower energy orbit, which is faster than a higher energy orbit! :jeb:

Banana Canada
Sep 2, 2003
I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.



I'm not sure if I'm applying Kepler's 3rd Law correctly but my quick calculation indicates a 360 day orbital period would put us at 0.99 AU which means we're still well in the habitable zone.

Deformed Church posted:

Do you have any openings for henchman? I would be willing to move to a volcanic island and get a weird prosthetic for the cause.

I'm pretty sure that I could accomplish (2a) if I had a volcano with an on/off switch. Not sure about (1) though.

And oops, (2a) should have said "speed" and not "slow".

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



I want to be your interior designer those lairs are always huge

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Take us out into a 420 day orbit, please. 14 or 15 months depending on whether you want 28 or 30 days. Longer winters offset by increased global warming from all the smoking.

Powered Descent
Jul 13, 2008

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

Someday we'll have colonies on Mars. They're going to want clocks and time zones.

If Mars days were ridiculous, 4 hours or 931 hours, we'd be good, people would just ignore them and go by Earth days.

But no, they're 37 minutes longer than Earth days, so they're juuuuust close enough that they'd want to use their own days and then have leap hours or something.

It's gonna suck for people who have to make it work.

A lot of sci-fi posits a partial hour every day, usually after midnight, to keep things synced up. (I think it was in Kim Stanley Robinson's Red/Green/Blue Mars trilogy that the clocks just stopped at that time, and it became the traditional time for scheming and conspiring and such.) But I prefer the idea of having local time units that are all ~2.5% longer to match the day length. So a Martian hour is like 61 and a half Earth minutes long, but it's still 60 Martian minutes (and 1/24th of a Martian day) since the conversion factor is the same across the board. It'll be inconvenient for scientists and engineers who'll have to specify if that pulsar timing or that chip's clock speed is in Earth or Mars milliseconds, but it'll be perfectly intuitive for the whole rest of the planet who can just say dinner is at 6 and everyone knows what that means.

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008

Fun Shoe

Powered Descent posted:

A lot of sci-fi posits a partial hour every day, usually after midnight, to keep things synced up. (I think it was in Kim Stanley Robinson's Red/Green/Blue Mars trilogy that the clocks just stopped at that time, and it became the traditional time for scheming and conspiring and such.) But I prefer the idea of having local time units that are all ~2.5% longer to match the day length. So a Martian hour is like 61 and a half Earth minutes long, but it's still 60 Martian minutes (and 1/24th of a Martian day) since the conversion factor is the same across the board. It'll be inconvenient for scientists and engineers who'll have to specify if that pulsar timing or that chip's clock speed is in Earth or Mars milliseconds, but it'll be perfectly intuitive for the whole rest of the planet who can just say dinner is at 6 and everyone knows what that means.

I'd be curious how easily people would be able to adapt to a "Martian second" in this setup. I expect it would be hell for people moving back and forth between Earth and Mars but people living there wouldn't have any problems.

Cichlidae
Aug 12, 2005

ME LOVE
MAKE RED LIGHT


Dr. Infant, MD

The Cheshire Cat posted:

I'd be curious how easily people would be able to adapt to a "Martian second" in this setup. I expect it would be hell for people moving back and forth between Earth and Mars but people living there wouldn't have any problems.

Don't worry - the 8-month-long trip going back and forth is more than enough time to get used to a tiny change in the length of a day.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Phlegmish posted:

I want to be your interior designer those lairs are always huge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDedpreZH-0

Powered Descent posted:

A lot of sci-fi posits a partial hour every day, usually after midnight, to keep things synced up. (I think it was in Kim Stanley Robinson's Red/Green/Blue Mars trilogy that the clocks just stopped at that time, and it became the traditional time for scheming and conspiring and such.)

This seems like the easiest solution by far. Everybody gets an extra 37 minutes of sleep, everything else goes on as normal. Makes life harder on clocks and programmers who have to manage calendars, but they're already full of lovely loopholes, what's one more? :v:

PittTheElder has a new favorite as of 19:12 on May 21, 2020

Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe

PittTheElder posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDedpreZH-0


This seems like the easiest solution by far. Everybody gets an extra 37 minutes of sleep, everything else goes on as normal. Makes life harder on clocks and programmers who have to manage calendars, but they're already full of lovely loopholes, what's one more? :v:

That extra 37 minutes is getting slotted in at 5 pm as unpaid overtime

You can clock out when the clock starts back up

DontMockMySmock
Aug 9, 2008

I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.
Okay so there's a few problems with this plan, chief among them that quickening the Earth's orbit means either making it highly elliptical or moving it closer to the Sun, as has been already pointed out.
Also that's much harder than changing the rotational speed (which is already really, really hard and will require the building of at least one extra-long space elevator). Here's my revised version:

(1) Decrease the rotational speed of the Earth so that it completes 361 rotations in one year, which means 360 new "days" that are slightly longer than the old day (the extra is for the fact that it also revolves around the sun)
(2a) As long as you're changing the definitions of time intervals, might as well decimalize. Redefine the second so that a day is exactly 100,000 seconds
(2b) The day is now separated into minutes (100 seconds), kilosecs (10 minutes), and hours (10 kilosecs or 100 minutes). 4 kilosecs is roughly equivalent to one old hour. It'll take some adjusting but the payoff of being decimal is worth it.
(3) The year starts on March 1 now, for two reasons: the symbolism of spring and rebirth is the public reason (in the northern hemisphere), but the real reason is so that the names "September," "October," "November," and "December" finally make sense again. Also obviously all the months are 30 days now. No need for leap days or anything, we already solved that when we adjusted Earth's rotational speed.
(4) I'm also tempted to say that weeks should be 10 days, with like 7 days on 3 days off. That might be too many consecutive days working, but at least you get a longer weekend which is better for travel and such. So maybe the middle day is a half-day? Adding three days to the week lets you name three new days, which is nice because there's three planets that don't have days of the week named after them yet (Earth, Uranus, and Neptune).

Red Bones
Aug 9, 2012

"I think he's a bad enough person to stay ghost through his sheer love of child-killing."

Banana Canada posted:

Here are my evil goals if I were a James Bond villain:

(1) increase the rotational speed of the Earth slightly so that a day is exactly 86,400 seconds
(2a) slow the orbit of the Earth so that it completes an orbit in exactly 360 days
(2b) institute a new calendar of 12 months - 30 days/month - 6 days/week (4 being weekdays and 2 being weekends)

I think this was Napoleon's ultimate plan. After he'd decimalised France, the only thing left was to decimalise the Earth itself.

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008

Fun Shoe

Cichlidae posted:

Don't worry - the 8-month-long trip going back and forth is more than enough time to get used to a tiny change in the length of a day.

I'm not thinking so much the length of day, I mean literally the sense of how long a second is when you count something down in your head.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.
Base ten is bad. Bronze age civilisations had a point when they used base sixty.

Banana Canada posted:

Here are my evil goals if I were a James Bond villain:

(1) increase the rotational speed of the Earth slightly so that a day is exactly 86,400 seconds
(2a) slow the orbit of the Earth so that it completes an orbit in exactly 360 days
(2b) institute a new calendar of 12 months - 30 days/month - 6 days/week (4 being weekdays and 2 being weekends)

You have deprived us of solar eclipses. :smith:

P.S.: No “make the orbit of Earth circular”? From noon on the twenty-first of December, it takes 86,430 SI seconds for the Sun to reach zenith again. Very irregular.

Powered Descent
Jul 13, 2008

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

DontMockMySmock posted:

The year starts on March 1 now, for two reasons: the symbolism of spring and rebirth is the public reason (in the northern hemisphere)

Why have seasons at all? While we're doing all the rest of these adjustments, let's straighten out that cockeyed axial tilt and have nice September weather year-round.

Man, Earth is such a fixer-upper.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!
Fun fact. 69 base 4.20 is 420.

Strom Cuzewon
Jul 1, 2010

HardDiskD posted:

Someone replied with this in the thread:



Which I unironically like and I'm now wondering what's wrong with me.

Also can we standardise "this weekend" "next weekend" and "the weekend after next"

If its Monday, "this weekend" is clearly the past, and "next weekend" is clearly the upcoming one.

But on a Friday, "this weekend" is the immediately upcoming one, and "next weekend" is in 8 days time.

I propose we abandon them and use the acronyms FFN (first from now, pronounced "faffen") and SFN (second from now, "saffen")

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.
“This weekend” and “next weekend” differ only when one is currently in a weekend.

On weekdays, they are synonymous and refer to the upcoming weekend.

Red Bones
Aug 9, 2012

"I think he's a bad enough person to stay ghost through his sheer love of child-killing."

Clearly "this weekend" always refers to the most immediate upcoming weekend, whereas "next weekend" is a thing you say when you want the other person to say, "wait, do you mean this weekend or the weekend after that weekend". It's a perfectly logical system.

I'm sure other languages have figured out a better way to do this.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.
Someone not wanting to have the ambiguity of which weekend they’re talking about is what gave us the coronavirus pandemic.

The monkey’s paw made the distinction moot.

Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007

Eternal weekend.

SerialKilldeer
Apr 25, 2014

Red Bones posted:

Clearly "this weekend" always refers to the most immediate upcoming weekend, whereas "next weekend" is a thing you say when you want the other person to say, "wait, do you mean this weekend or the weekend after that weekend". It's a perfectly logical system.

I'm sure other languages have figured out a better way to do this.

I once read a detailed linguistics paper on deixis which, on the subject of those kinds of phrases, said something like, "there is considerable usage variation which is too complex to discuss here."

Personally I try to specify the date of the month.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Phy posted:

That extra 37 minutes is getting slotted in at 5 pm as unpaid overtime

You can clock out when the clock starts back up

Has anybody else worked an hourly job overnight when Daylight Savings happens?

It's fun, in the Fall you have to work a 9 hour shift instead of an 8 hour shift, but you get your hour of life refunded to you in the Spring when you only work 7 hours.

Agnostalgia
Dec 22, 2009

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

Has anybody else worked an hourly job overnight when Daylight Savings happens?

It's fun, in the Fall you have to work a 9 hour shift instead of an 8 hour shift, but you get your hour of life refunded to you in the Spring when you only work 7 hours.

I used to work 16 hour shifts on the weekend (3pm-7am) and once a year had to deal with ADP refusing to accept a 17 hour shift and invalidating my timecard.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.

Powered Descent posted:

Why have seasons at all? While we're doing all the rest of these adjustments, let's straighten out that cockeyed axial tilt and have nice September weather year-round.

Man, Earth is such a fixer-upper.

Tidally lock the Earth and inhabit the twilight longitudes.

bertolt rekt
Jul 30, 2007

wait what about leap years

DontMockMySmock
Aug 9, 2008

I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

bertolt rekt posted:

wait what about leap years

I already solved that when I adjusted Earth's rotational speed to be a perfect integer fraction of a year.

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zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos

DontMockMySmock posted:

I already solved that when I adjusted Earth's rotational speed to be a perfect integer fraction of a year.
Multi body gravitational pull would like a word. You will never be rid of the leap second.

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