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Kosumo
Apr 9, 2016

monkeytek posted:

What you didn't get the memo? We each sent .005 Bitcoins to EuroDDOS.warez.sos last week just for this event.

Oh poo poo, I hosed up, I sent 5 Bitcoins …. this is my fault …. it might take some time to fix.

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peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos
queue point nine

Kosumo
Apr 9, 2016

The Titanic posted:

So here is my gameplay of Star Citizen!

After an hour of waiting in multiple queues, I got in to the main menu. Here I could launch stuff and options. Not wanting to do anything rash, I just immediately clicked on "Universe".

This is my gameplay experience:


Nothing could be interacted with. No buttons were clickable. The escape key did not work to move me back to the other menu.

I had to control-alt-delete to kill it with the task manager.

I was really excited to see what "first head" had in store for that level, but I couldn't get there yet. Apparently I'm not that great of a gamer.

I want to see Derek's opinion on this before I decide what happened.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable
So I ran it in windowed more, this let me finish character creation. It was terrible and confusing. None of the hair felt like it was for a girl, so I ended up with my butch dyke character.

Gameplay:


I could go to 2 hangars.

Ok.

I went to one hangar. It was empty. I had purple things on my arms when I used the menu, which made no sense and had no functionality except a heart rate thing.

Purple things:


Ok. Camera gives me a great rear end shot. Can't see my character regardless because she's wearing a helmet. No way to remove it.

Nothing to do. There was no terminal my menu says I had 2 freelancers somehow, but neither one did anything. Nothing showed up in the hangar.

Second hangar, I decided to see if I could do that "run until you die" thing so I ran and jumped and only this happened, did not die:



There was an elevator. I went up. The button on the screen was sticking out of the screen so it was kind of weird.

I jumped off the second story but took no fall damage apparently.

I figured out how to send somebody who was somehow a friend to me a message. The direct message was then glued to my main play screen and never went away.

I could do nothing else. Super fun and worth the download. 12/5 stars, would recommend to anybody looking to get hosed.

Also, I quit out, and figured I'd try again to see if the other location menu (which i could select the text on like some kind of HTML webpage for some reason) would populate with additional locations.

I was back at the character creator. And again, it did not work. So I could not get back to the other menu to see if I could go anywhere else.

And that's what it's like. :shrug:

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable
The FPS, in the empty hangar, went anywhere from 60+ FPS to sub 30-FPS and felt very choppy.

The movement you probably hated when it was in Crysis 1, because it felt awkward and floaty, is here as well. You hold down "F" to interact with buttons and screens, which pop up difficult to read options on what you might be able to do. Sometimes it worked, sometimes you had to do it more than once, to use an elevator.

The menu looked ok, albeit hugely over designed. Somebody spent a lot of time on a heart rate EKG thing that looks pretty but isn't really useful.

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

The Titanic posted:

Ok.

So I'm gonna say this then I guess.

The "game" has like an over 90% failure rate to load the main menu.

Bare :iiasb: in mind also that this isn't just a "relaunch the game until it works" kind of thing, it's a sit there for 5-minutes or more kind of thing before you have the opportunity to try again with an all new timer.

When you do get in, if you do, you get the main menu, which seems colorful and pretty. You're now thinking "oh shoot I made it! I can finally see what everybody is talking about!!"

But your actually wrong here, kind of.

See, you think you are about to experience the poo poo show everybody is talking about and see the jank and comical space shenanigans at last...

But you're wrong.

But you're also right.

See, you're actually already knee deep in the jank and you don't even realize it.

You get to the character creation screen... wow! Looks not half bad! You click something.

You click again.

You click all the buttons.

You click the menu options.

You start hitting every key on the keyboard.

You even plug in an Xbox controller thinking maybe that will work.

No. You just sit there, helplessly looking at a breathing white guy in full fidelity.

Your only option is to control alt delete the game and force quit the process.

You have experienced Star Citizen. The jank was everywhere around you the whole time.


I don't know how anybody... anybody... can imagine this will someday be an amazing mmo with thousands of players interacting seamlessly in a highly detailed world with the fidelity and physicalized interactions on par with a recent Rockstar release.

You're a loving idiot if you do.

This is a train wreck where they prioritized graphics over everything, including basic functionality like "a menu that works and you can get through it".

If you spend money on this, you're a huge loving idiot and I hope you spend a lot because you don't deserve to have it.

gently caress CIG for making this and acting like it's anything but a piece of poo poo software tech demo that's so heavily in development it should not be seen by anybody right now.

Further gently caress CIG for working on this for nearly a decade and waving this around like its some kind of accomplishment. You guys are literally the most incompetent team of developers anywhere. If this is your first job out of school, find another job, literally loving anywhere. I almost guarantee you are not learning anything that will help you later. You guys sitting there on stack overflow all day long are wasting your time, and I loving know that's exactly what you're doing because none of this looks like a competent developer did anything with it.

You dressed up a piece of poo poo in a pretty dress and convinced a bunch of loving idiots to blow money on your product. If you're not involved in getting that money for your Porsche, you're going to feel bad later in life for working on something that is literally a mechanism to extract money from people via lies and false pretenses.

God drat, you played the poo poo out of Star Citizen today

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

The thing is if you do get into the game proper, and actually get to spawn ships and fly around, it's not any better. The whole game is in this state. Rough, breaking down everywhere you look, completely unprofessional and unplayable at every level.

This is why I rage so hard at Citizens who post kayfabe poo poo about how great everything's going. It's not just delusion, it's a goddamn dirty loving lie and they all know it.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Star Citizer: QUEUE WAIT REPEAT

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
How you doin

Last King
Sep 29, 2007

In corporate R'lyeh, Cthulhu works you.

Fun Shoe

Thoatse posted:

Star Citizer: QUEUE WAIT REPEAT

someone should do a parody of the star citizen experience trying to get into the game and fly a ship overlaid with edge of tomorrow....

Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo

An empty shell... just like Star Citizen.

Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo

:reddit: posted:


I love how even after spending over 2 bil for the station, it's still not a game package. You'd still have to buy a copy of the game...

:reddit: posted:



:reddit: posted:


Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo

Thoatse posted:

Star Citizer: QUEUE WAIT REPEAT

:vince:

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Pixelate posted:

Marketing production is bang on schedule

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtXSxvDejIg


The new season of Archer'd is lookin kinda weird

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

Pixelate posted:

Marketing production is bang on schedule

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtXSxvDejIg

CIG is such a proto-fash company that I can no longer tell if these videos are even slightly ironic.

Bootcha
Nov 13, 2012

Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending
Grimey Drawer
https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/community/SC/forum/1/thread/invictus-launch-week-limited-waves/3052785

Limited ship sales.

They're gonna sell the Idris again. I repeat: They're going to sell the Idris again. The Kraken too. Javelin probably. Probably not the Pioneer or Endeavor.

But still, holy gently caress.

All we need is a surprise keynote address from the big man himself, and I'm calling this CitCon Summer.

Arkage
Aug 10, 2008

Things fall apart;
the centre cannot hold

The Titanic posted:

$30 for in-game swag to advertise stuff in the game, in the game?

Well golly, sign me up for this great deal! :allears:

This needs to be integrated into black mirror.

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

Bootcha posted:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/community/SC/forum/1/thread/invictus-launch-week-limited-waves/3052785

Limited ship sales.

They're gonna sell the Idris again. I repeat: They're going to sell the Idris again. The Kraken too. Javelin probably. Probably not the Pioneer or Endeavor.

But still, holy gently caress.

All we need is a surprise keynote address from the big man himself, and I'm calling this CitCon Summer.

The ships cost thousands of dollars. Not a single one is available in-game. The entire event centers around a faction that has never existed in the game. The game doesn't even work right now.

They will sell out within minutes.

I feel like there's a lesson about humanity here

HiroProtagonist
May 7, 2007

lmao

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









i just fired it up; after about 15 minutes of loading it hit the main menu, and I got into the character creator, which is fairly cool! I made a character and spawned into an aeroview hangar, which is basically a huge empty box with some crates scattered around it, and went through a door into an antechamber. There was no way out of the antechamber. i went back into the hangar and investigated all the options of my mobiglass (sp?). None of them gave me any hint what I should do next. I was about to look for another door when the game crashed to desktop.

7/10

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer

Bootcha posted:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/community/SC/forum/1/thread/invictus-launch-week-limited-waves/3052785

Limited ship sales.

They're gonna sell the Idris again. I repeat: They're going to sell the Idris again. The Kraken too. Javelin probably. Probably not the Pioneer or Endeavor.

But still, holy gently caress.

All we need is a surprise keynote address from the big man himself, and I'm calling this CitCon Summer.
"totally not desperate!" I yell as I sell the stripped copper wiring from my house to pay my capital one minimum

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?
What you have experienced is the entire game. You might see a different section of the map if the stars align and the bird entrails read favorably, but the rotten broken core surrounds you and unbinds you like the dark side of the force.

And Sarsa's kayfabe reference is right on point - it's exactly, precisely what CIG and all the backers are doing right now. In a civilized society someone would be going to jail right now. (A real jail that works.)

Last King
Sep 29, 2007

In corporate R'lyeh, Cthulhu works you.

Fun Shoe

Sarsapariller posted:

The ships cost thousands of dollars. Not a single one is available in-game. The entire event centers around a faction that has never existed in the game. The game doesn't even work right now.

They will sell out within minutes.

I feel like there's a lesson about humanity here

look there are corona virus checks to be spent.... you could use it to buy food, pay bills, play on the stock market, or grab an imaginary unflyable spaceship and buckle in for a once in a lifetime front seat to this train wreck of a project?

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
-The Idris has no clothes!
-You dumbass, they removed the interiors because they didn't want to spoil them.
-Oh, you're right :nyoron:

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer
Lost in all this is the weekly self flagellation from CIG.

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

Those of you who are logging in on the free accounts tonight and only seeing hangars- apparently CIG in their infinite wisdom decided that the "Free Flight" portion now starts "Whenever the servers are stable" so that's why you aren't able to load into the main universe. It should be another option in the same menu as the big empty hangars that haven't been touched in 5 years.

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer
I finally got an account activation email, downloading now. I'm horrified at what awaits me.

BumbleOne
Jul 1, 2018

by Fluffdaddy

The Titanic posted:

You have my prayers, friend. I hope all is well. :ohdear:

peter gabriel posted:

Hope you're ok duder

trucutru posted:

But did the yogurt manage to properly spread the flavor of the bleu cheese?

(praying for you, hope you are fine)

Kosumo posted:

Good God, you did not try the Lesnick Challenge and watch Wing Commander movie did you?

The only thing that can help you now is American Satan.

drat you anonymous fudsters comrades rock.
if i had any idrii i would gift one to each one of you.

o7

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









ok! second time round it loads really fast to the menu, like fifteen seconds! this is exciting. I still have the option of two hangars to visit. I'm going to give it the old college try and see if I can find a spaceship before I crash to desktop. AFAICT there is no way to load into a space port or anywhere that' not a mostly featureless box.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Bumble He posted:

drat you anonymous fudsters comrades rock.
if i had any idrii i would gift one to each one of you.

o7

Save your money, friend. I just hope all ended well for you! <3

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Sarsapariller posted:

Those of you who are logging in on the free accounts tonight and only seeing hangars- apparently CIG in their infinite wisdom decided that the "Free Flight" portion now starts "Whenever the servers are stable" so that's why you aren't able to load into the main universe. It should be another option in the same menu as the big empty hangars that haven't been touched in 5 years.

This is dumb. I'll not delete this pile of poo poo yet and hope for some good goon on goon rubbing action before the end of the weekend.

This game got me all engaged because I saw it finally, and it's pretty terrible.

It's like the worst programmers hired some decent artists, and the art is leagues ahead of the programming. But even that is a stretch because the art itself isn't great anymore by today's standards, but when compared to the rest of the game it's astronomical in quality.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
Now imagine if you paid several thousand dollars for this garbage

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

The Titanic posted:

This is dumb. I'll not delete this pile of poo poo yet and hope for some good goon on goon rubbing action before the end of the weekend.

This game got me all engaged because I saw it finally, and it's pretty terrible.

It's like the worst programmers hired some decent artists, and the art is leagues ahead of the programming. But even that is a stretch because the art itself isn't great anymore by today's standards, but when compared to the rest of the game it's astronomical in quality.

https://status.robertsspaceindustries.com/

The idiots posted:

We're aware that many of you are experiencing issues with connecting to the game at this time. The team is investigating and working on getting things fixed up as quickly as possible. There's a tremendous amount of you all trying to connect and experience Fleet Week. The Free fly will begin as soon as things have stabilized. Check back here often for further updates. Thank you for your patience!

[2020-05-22 Updates]
1830 UTC - Services are returning to operational status.

1951 UTC - We are investigating issues related to the Login Queue.

2205 UTC - The UEE Fleet has arrived and Expo Halls have opened to the public.



[2020-05-23 Updates]
0030 UTC - A database restart is in-progress.
0052 UTC - LIVE Environment offline. Database work is ongoing.
0138 UTC - LIVE Environment still down while Database and Services are coming back online.
0205 UTC - Live Environment is slowly being brought back online.
0225 UTC - UEE Fleet has arrived once more. Character Resets are temporarily offline.
0245 UTC - Character Reset Tool online.
More updates to follow.

Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo
You guys have to choose "spaceport" to get into the multiplayer PU. "Hanger" just takes you to the empty hanger. Last time I tried playing, you had to look at the floor and click on the blue dots on the ground to spawn in a ship.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Zazz Razzamatazz posted:

You guys have to choose "spaceport" to get into the multiplayer PU. "Hanger" just takes you to the empty hanger. Last time I tried playing, you had to look at the floor and click on the blue dots on the ground to spawn in a ship.

yeah i did a search and it looks like the spaceports are down, I'll try again later.

Kosumo
Apr 9, 2016

Bumble He posted:

drat you anonymous fudsters comrades rock.
if i had any idrii i would gift one to each one of you.

o7

Alas I shall never Captain a noble Idris as I know my role in the verse is to be upon the launch deck, doing the space plane launch deck dance with my foip letting each and even pilot I launch know, with me there, their take-off will be safe.

They will see it in my eyes.

And as I safety dance for each and every one, I will know in my heart, Derek Smart was not right. :wtchris:

I am not an under cover agent for the Stimpire*






* I have to disclose this as part of Internet Spaceship Dance Launch Dudes** Union (ISDLD).






** That's right, no chicks! This is real spacemans work. You go work decoding things.

Kosumo fucked around with this message at 05:37 on May 23, 2020

colonelwest
Jun 30, 2018

Bootcha posted:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/community/SC/forum/1/thread/invictus-launch-week-limited-waves/3052785

Limited ship sales.

They're gonna sell the Idris again. I repeat: They're going to sell the Idris again. The Kraken too. Javelin probably. Probably not the Pioneer or Endeavor.

But still, holy gently caress.

All we need is a surprise keynote address from the big man himself, and I'm calling this CitCon Summer.

Lol not desperate at all, according to the tracker they’re on course to take in 100 million this year!

I’m just waiting for the inevitable Bengal Carrier sale. Only $15,000c pledge now!

colonelwest fucked around with this message at 05:18 on May 23, 2020

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

colonelwest posted:

Lol not desperate at all, according to the tracker they’re on course to take in 100 million this year!

I’m just waiting for the inevitable Bengal Carrier sale. Only $15,000c pledge now!

A Bengal? Pfft. That piece of poo poo is not even a kilometre long (it's 990 m).

The big boys want a Retribution-class Dreadnought

400 loving meters *tall*, 700 meters wide, Twenty seven hundred meters long, armed with Ship Buster Railguns.

All you need this Xmas :tfrxmas:

Dreadwroth2
Feb 28, 2019

by Cyrano4747
It still amuses me how this thing ran somehow better way back when they released the original "client", like you could actually go into MP from your hanger by sitting in your ship or whatever.

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sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









it loaded a lot faster the second time around, like a minute or so, but there's currently absolutely no way to do anything but run round inside a big room and go in an out of a much smaller room, because none of the spaceports work

I'm sort of committed to giving this a fair shake now, so I'll continue reporting back.

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 05:56 on May 23, 2020

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