ExplodingSims posted:

AI has had a grand total of like 4 major drama events.
There was the Racist Mustang, Boomerjinks, the guy who faked having cancer and wrecking a Tesla, and the whole Trukk* saga.
And I guess that guy who wrecked his bike and lost his arm, but that was more of a Cycle Asylum thing.

Otherwise, its an extremely chill forum and definitely the best car forum out there.

* And honestly, up until the end, that was very much a goon success story. Dave had pretty much rebuilt his life and was getting things together. The community came together to really help one of its own in a major way there.
Yeah, we could have done some things better, but in the end, we came through and gave our best to someone in need.

Also, I really need to figure out what the gently caress I'm doing with that truck. Really need to get back to working on it.

dreamin of semen posted:

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Oh man, this image takes me back.

ExplodingSims posted:

AI has had a grand total of like 4 major drama events.
There was the Racist Mustang, Boomerjinks, the guy who faked having cancer and wrecking a Tesla, and the whole Trukk* saga.
...
Otherwise, its an extremely chill forum and definitely the best car forum out there.

Hub Cat posted:

Here is the Boomerjinks E/N thread that keeps getting referred to it has more information than the game thread:Reddit makes rape threats to a charity worker and I try to scam a small business

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

I was wondering about the trukk, glad to hear it's still around.

FilthyImp posted:

There was also the guy (iibbmm???) That was like "check out my sweet car I painted to look like a cop car and put red and blue lightbars on! Whaddyamean that's illegal?!" Iirc he was stealing from his kids savings and also a racist.

ExplodingSims posted:

This is the first time I've heard of this, but it sounds interesting.

quote:

Sorry I haven't been able to make another big post, guys. I was about to explain why that's sort of difficult now, but then I thought it would make a pretty funny post by itself

So I have a lot of pain right now in my arms and hands, pretty much constantly, stemming from the herniated discs in my spine (one in my neck, one in my back between my shoulder blades) and these in turn stem from an accident I got into while more or less on the job as a princess. Here's how it happened:

I was in my Chevy, driving to my boss' house to meet up with her for a kids' party. I usually don't, I head straight to the party itself, but she needed help with the hostess stuff, so I was gonna jump in the van with her and another princess (the party called for Cinderella and Beauty) and leave my car at her place. I was about five minutes from her house, heading up a 45 mph road with no stop signs or lights in my way, when a woman came blasting down a side street, blew her stop sign and t-boned me right in the driver-side door at about 40 mph.

She pushed me out of my lane, across the road shoulder and fully onto the adjacent town green. Since the front axle on my car took a ton of the impact, my car remained relatively intact, although the driver door was totally smashed in and the impact was hard enough to deploy not only my airbag, but the passenger-side one as well. The car was in roughly one piece, but it was totaled beyond repair.

The woman's car, on the other hand, went from a tiny Mitsubishi to HALF a tiny Mitsubishi. The front end of her car practically exploded on impact. I was thrown sideways in my seat, slipped out from under the chest seat belt and landed face-first in the passenger seat, after hitting my head on the seat divider bar. I woke up in a car full of smoke and tried to get out of the driver-side door. It was so smashed in that it wouldn't open more than about three inches, and I stuck my fingers out the space between and wiggled them, because I was dazed and couldn't comprehend the door not opening. Also couldn't breathe because of the smoke.

I looked out the window and saw the car that had hit me. The woman was staring at me from her seat, PHONE STILL IN HER HAND. Yep, she'd been driving while on the phone.

You have to feel sorry for this woman and put yourself in her place. You were talking on the phone, you were two miles from your house on a road you've traveled many times. You're distracted and miss the stop sign for what could be the first time in your life. A car looms in front of you, there's a screech of tires and a terrific crash. You just realize your own negligence has caused a terrible accident and totaled two vehicles. The other car is filling with smoke, the driver you hit isn't visible, possibly passed out or dead. Suddenly, a small hand emerges from the door, pathetically curling around the door frame and trying to push it open. A face appears in the window, bruised and dazed.

IT'S FRICKIN' CINDERELLA.

Jesus CHRIST, did you just hit a PRINCESS? Isn't that a felony or something? Is it too late to hit the gas and make a highly illegal run for it? Do you even get a TRIAL for killing a princess, or do you just get charged with treason and executed??

I could see the woman's mouth fall open as she got out and stared at the place where the front of her car used to be.

"That's why you buy American!" I screamed through the three inch opening of the driver door. I was in no mood.

I crawled out the passenger door and stood there, shivering in the very cold winter winds, while she ran over. Her first thought, after making sure I wasn't dead, was to bitch about how the car was in her father's name and he was gonna TOTALLY KILL HER. My first thought was to look in the back seat to see if my Rapunzel wig and costume were OK (I had a second party that day), because if not, I was TOTALLY GONNA KILL HER.

The policeman's first thought, when he arrived at the scene and met the babbling woman who was going on about how her dad would be furious, was to tell her that if she had hit me about six inches further back along the car, away from the front axle, she would have TOTALLY KILLED ME. I have two relatives who got in extremely similar accidents. One was in a body cast afterward and one had six broken ribs. So I was very, very lucky.

Anyhow, long story short, this happened:




Weird day. I was just relieved the little girl's party wasn't ruined. I called my boss five minutes after the impact and told her to come pick me up to go to the party, which I was DETERMINED to do because I had a concussion and didn't realize a bruised Cinderella with spinal damage and a dirt-stained dress was not exactly going to go over well. Also that I couldn't leave my car in pieces across the town green to go to a birthday party. Luckily the woman ordered two princesses, so the party wasn't a total loss, and the little girl was told that Cinderella's horse threw a shoe on the way there and she couldn't make it. The mom was understanding. And another princess was able to cover my Rapunzel shift. That's the problem with being a party princess...you can never call out sick to work, because if you do, some little kid's birthday will be ruined. It's hard to get a replacement princess up and ready on short notice. So my boss has a rule that if we even THINK we may be feeling like we might get sick three days before a party, we let her know and she has someone ready on stand-by. But car accidents are another beast altogether.

I did months of rehabilitation and physical therapy, and now have a vicious regimen of heavy-duty painkillers to deal with the aftermath of limb pain, back pain and headaches, although we're still waiting to see if I'll need spinal surgery. But it makes drawing difficult for more than a few hours, which sucks cuz I'm kinda committed to this whole drawing a graphic novel thing for Kickstarter (in fact, the whole reason I started the project was to get money to live on, since I had to quit my day job because I couldn't do any heavy lifting anymore). So some days, it's just not in me to do more drawings and typing after my regular work and art commissions.

But I don't want you to think I just said screw it to the thread and I'm not going to finish it, cuz I TOTALLY will. And if you have a request for a silly princess party drawing for me to draw and post here, please tell me, because this is the most fun I've had in months and I'm really glad this thread has gotten so many responses

I hope this doesn't come off as a pity post, cuz I really have nothing to feel sad about. I was AMAZINGLY lucky I didn't suffer more injuries or was outright killed. If she'd been driving anything other than a tiny japanese car, or god forbid she had an SUV, I might not even be here. Plus I luckily had switched my car insurance to full-torte a few months before...without that, I wouldn't have had the coverage for treatment and physical therapy, or any medications. And I've been super lucky to have fans that contributed to my Kickstarter to pay my living costs for a few months in exchange for a graphic novel. So things could be absolutely a whole lot worse, and I'm glad everything has worked out relatively OK. Also I have an awesome attorney, so hopefully we'll at least see some compensation for my out-of-pocket expenses and the new used car I had to buy to replace my old one.

Also, please don't hit princesses with your car. They're people too. Fancy, ballgowned people.

Nuns with Guns posted:

I just realized that the "Ask Me About Being A Birthday Party Princess" thread isn't linked here in the new sagas thread, and this is a shameful absence!

Hub Cat posted:

Here is the Boomerjinks E/N thread that keeps getting referred to it has more information than the game thread:Reddit makes rape threats to a charity worker and I try to scam a small business

TL;DR Boomerjinks improperly prepared the jeep* for transport on bad advice from the trailer driver but Telltale didn't provide enclosed transport causing minor but still costly cosmetic damage, Telltale was slow in agreeing to pay for the damage, Boomerjinks posted a former Telltale employees full real name and contact info in a Reddit thread causing harassment, everybody involved is dumb Boomerjinks is a jerk.

Here is the deleted Reddit comment where he posted her info:https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/mbydq/i_let_telltale_borrow_my_jurassic_park_jeep_and/c2zqc4x/
Here is the Reddit thread she posted about the harassment:https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/mcy7l/today_i_received_nonstop_phone_calls_and_emails/

*He put a parking cover on the jeep that specifically advises against using it while the vehicle is being towed and there is speculation it came loose during the transport.
The Jeep with cover on trailer:


Edit:For anybody in 2020 wondering why it blew up BJ liked to post his cars a lot(he also had a ghostbusters car) so he had the whole Forums Superstar/Obnoxious Attention Seeker thing going on.

Nuns with Guns posted:

I just realized that the "Ask Me About Being A Birthday Party Princess" thread isn't linked here in the new sagas thread, and this is a shameful absence!

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Having the presence of mind to shout a bon mot at the other driver while trying to extricate yourself from your wrecked, smoke-filled vehicle is amazing.

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Having the presence of mind to shout a bon mot at the other driver while trying to extricate yourself from your wrecked, smoke-filled vehicle is amazing.

xcheopis posted:

How wonderful! That thread was awesome and the drawings were hilarious.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Got half a mind to think she might have imagined doing that, but when you're a professional party princess maybe you always are a little bit in performance mode.

quote:

Rich vs. Poor

One thing that strikes me is that the lower income the parents have, the more well-behaved their children are. This isn't bias, it's fact. The very wealthiest little kids, no matter how initially enraptured, will lose interest after thirty minutes and actually go play with their dollhouses or want to play on the swingset. They don't have the attention span to commit to a princess because they're constantly flooded with new toys and distractions by their parents and they don't see a Rapunzel visit as anything other than a new kind of toy, to be quickly tired of and left alone. They're not bad children or brats...they're very nice kids. But they're so over-saturated by their parents that nothing really has special meaning to them anymore, at least not for long.

The very poorest children, the ones whose parents are renting a princess because they could never afford to go to Disney World, those children are wonderful. They will sit and listen to you politely through the whole spiel. They know this is a special treat that their parents worked for and they don't intend to take a minute of it for granted. They're the kids I work extra hard for and remember. The middle and upper class children always have a party full of little girls in those 80 dollar Disney store dresses, with all the accessories. The less well-to-do children's parties are always in normal clothes, though a lot of the children wear their church dresses for the occasion. It just breaks your heart to do a party for them, which means so MUCH to them, then turn around and do a party for little Sienna-Jayden-Madison, who is completely jaded by the age of four and can't even focus on a five minute story before she becomes bored and distracted. The parents of less well-off children tell us that their little girl will spend months talking about the time Cinderella came to her house. The very upper-class kids forget about the princess while she's still IN their house.

I said before that some Disney face characters look down on party princesses. It's true, we don't have the official name or the sanctioned park privileges. We can't put the Disney Corp. on our resumes, and we have to use non-copyright names for ourselves like Sleeping Princess and Rose Beauty and Fairy Bell. We don't perform in giant, scenic park castles and on stages, in front of thousands.

But what we give is so much more important. We give magic to the little girls who will never see Disney World, because it's too far away and too far out of the parents' budget. These little girls love Jasmine and Ariel and Cinderella just as much as the others. They dream of being well-off and royal, and it's even more poignant a dream for them, because they have so much less than the others. Why should they have to pay a fortune to fly to California or Florida just to meet a princess? We do what the parks can't do...we bring the magic to them. To lower class kids, to kids in hospitals, to kids with special needs who can't travel far. They deserve magic too. And we bring it to them. We drive in rush hour traffic in a hoopskirt, we pump our own gas with both hands and a pair of opera gloves in our mouth to keep them clean, we haul boomboxes and storybooks around, we dole out pizza and cupcakes and get shedded on by dogs and change between gigs in rest stop bathrooms and put our false eyelashes on, bleary-eyed, in the medicine cabinet mirror in the morning.

And we get so much more in return.

quote:

The Princess Cult

I think there's a disturbing culture of Princess worship in America's little girls these days, and even in older girls who love Disney princesses, because they're America's royalty. We have no Princess Kates, no royal families and ancient lineages like other countries. We have an invented and idealized royalty for little girls to idolize. That sort of makes sense to me, when you think about it. America has Hollywood, America has very little (white person) history compared to other countries, America invents its own royal family and castles.

And A Princess is a thing they all want to become some day. She's a grown up, she's beautiful, she wears fabulous glittery gowns and no doubt owns a pony. She lives in a big pretty castle, she never has to clean her room and she gets to eat cookies for dinner if she wants. It's something I wanted very much when I was a little girl, really. A life of leisure and of guaranteed beauty and charm and never feeling left out or unappreciated, because the Princess is the focal point of every kingdom. I've been to the Cinderella castle, the REAL one, Neuschwanstein in Europe, many many times, because I grew up overseas and my parents loved castles. They took us to every single castle within a three country radius over the course of my childhood. I went to a royal ball at the president of Hessen's castle, given in honor of the military stationed overseas for Operation Desert Storm. There was a separate area for the children, away from the boring grown-up ball. I saw things that would make a child puke with envy. An entire palatial ballroom, complete with grand staircase, filled with candy buffets, circus performers, acrobats, contortionists, animals, lollipops the size of your head, unicorn mylar balloons and enough sugar to kill a grown man. Because of stuff like this, my perception of princesses and castles is, I like to think, even more vivid and real than most american children's. So I can feel where little girls are coming from on this one. It's a dream that many girls have, and few ever totally let go. They force it down into their subconscious as they grow older, but it sometimes peeks out at prom, at their wedding, at any chance to wear a gorgeous gown and have rhinestones in your hair and be A Princess for a little while.

My very first professional party, I was Rapunzel. I got the directions to the house, drove a little ways down the street and called the mom to let her know I was about to come up and knock on the door. The mom stood outside, video cam at the ready. I knocked on the door and a girl so small she barely came up to my knees opened it with the help of her dad. She was wearing a Rapunzel dress, Rapunzel shoes, and though she had brown hair, she was wearing a Rapunzel headband with a fake braid of blonde hair hanging down over her shoulder. In short, she looked like a miniature me. She had a Rapunzel doll in her arm, and the doll was almost as big as she was.

I said hello, greeted her by name and thanked her for inviting me to her third birthday party. I thought it odd she wasn't saying anything or even seemed stoked to see me. I bent down to hug her and to let mom take a picture with us both. When I put my arm around her tiny figure, I could feel her literally SHAKING in excitement, too cowed by A Real Princess to even speak.

For the rest of the party, she was attached to my waist. She had both arms around me and wouldn't let go...not through the dancing, not through the story, and I had to pick her up and hold her over her cake to let her blow out her candles. She just wanted to hug Rapunzel and not say a word and never, ever let go. When it was time to leave, she didn't say anything, but instead put her arms around my neck and kissed me a million times on the face and tried to bury herself in my dress. It was only the distraction of presents that saved me from having to take this kid home and pry her off with a crowbar.

Stuff like that has really softened me up towards kids. Some people think this job makes you bitter about being around kids, or that it's encouraging a lousy female stereotype, but for me, it was the opposite. I started OUT thinking kids are a pain, but now I don't. It's just so startling to find out how much a child will love you unconditionally, because you represent something wonderful and magical to them. It shows how important fantasy is to children, and how they need role models to wave their magic wands and teach children to be kind and polite and eat their veggies or whatever it is they shoe-horn into those Direct-to-DVD Disney movies.

With that said, let me tell you about the Scary Blood Store.

The Scary Blood Store

Sometimes I do non-princess activities at the parties. Since I'm an artist, I can do caricatures and face painting, and one time my boss paid me to do a puppet show. A lot of my goofy, childish talents get used on this job, which is why I love it so much.

Face-painting is fun because I can dress comfortably and, while the other girls do the princess thing, I can sit and chat with the kids as I paint them up like butterflies and flowers and things.

There were a lot of kindergarten-aged kids at the first party I painted faces for, both boys and girls, and while I painted a few little boys' faces, we talked about skulls. They wanted to be painted like skulls, and they had a lot to say about this topic.

It turns out that human skulls are very scary and they eat blood for breakfast. They get the blood from their shelves, which in turn are stocked with blood purchased at the Scary Blood Store. Vampires also shop at this store, but they don’t shop at the same time as the skulls because this would cause a conflict. Vampires also bite skulls and suck their blood, but (and this is key) only after the skulls have had breakfast. Otherwise there would be no blood in them. Once the vampires drink their blood, the skulls are hungry again and must go to the store. Thus the great circle of life continues as such:

The boys also told me that skulls and pirates are best friends, because they like to do the same things. One little boy told me he knew sixty pirates, but refused to name them.

(I know this is all true because it was confirmed by a friend of mine who works as a Captain Sparrow for a different party company. He says pirates and skulls share many similar interests. He also claims to know 60 pirates, but not personally.)

Skulls also enjoy eating rotten eggs and dead bodies and cheese. Smelly cheese is preferred, but american will do.

At this same party, we played a game making wishes for what we wanted most. Approximately 30% of the children wished to be some sort of underwater creature. Five children wished to be a balloon.

Nuns with Guns posted:

I miss the drawings on this... I wonder if they're waffle recoverable or straight up gone?

a kitten posted:

I thought they'd still be on her tumblr, but a lot of them are gone there too. I have no idea if there's some way to recover them, or for that matter if she took them down or tumblr just doesn't archive images for poo poo.
https://birthdaypartyprincess.tumblr.com/archive

Some are still there though!

Nuns with Guns posted:

Moon Slayer posted:

https://twitter.com/Goons_TXT/status/1265281725212569603

Pick constantly enraging people by saying Dragon Age 2 is good is a pretty good saga.

(It's fine.)

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I liked DA2 at the time, but all I remember is I managed to gently caress both Pirate Hottie and Sadbrains Mage and was pretty proud of myself.

Elephant Ambush posted:

I never understood the hate for DA2. It wasn't as good as DAO but it had most of the stuff I liked about DAO. All the game's biggest problems were the fault of the publisher forcing it out the door before it was ready, and I think everyone knew that. And I didn't hate the changes they made to the combat although I can see why some people did.

sweet geek swag posted:

My lady character was trying to gently caress moody elf boy, but then he broke up with her for the act break, and before they could get back together moody elf girl (who I had just seen exiled from her tribe) started going on about how she knew what was going on between 'us' because I flirted with her one when we first met. So that's how my character ended up hate loving Merill.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It sounds like Bioware games are best when they let you be a bisexual disaster

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It sounds like Bioware games are best when they let you be a bisexual disaster

sweet geek swag posted:

My lady character was trying to gently caress moody elf boy, but then he broke up with her for the act break, and before they could get back together moody elf girl (who I had just seen exiled from her tribe) started going on about how she knew what was going on between 'us' because I flirted with her one when we first met. So that's how my character ended up hate loving Merill.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

People also hate Dragon Age Inquisition when personally I think its the best in the series. Goons get mad at people for possessing opinions different than the forums consensus, what else is new.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It sounds like Bioware games are best when they let you be a bisexual disaster

Pick posted:

I love Dragon Age 2.

Pick posted:

I love Dragon Age 2.

Moon Slayer posted:

Alistair dumped me after I made him king and I am still incredibly pissed off about it to this very day.