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Apr 19, 2024 20:33
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- Butter Activities
- May 4, 2018
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Can't post for 18 hours!
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TBF writing out a whole fictional story of a person doing a lovely thing so you can turn and go “Ha! You only think it’s lovely because they have a vagina!” is a better gimmick than Phiz’s other ones.
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May 27, 2020 06:24
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- Evil Willow
- Apr 26, 2007
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Bored now...
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AITA for leaving my gf over a joke?
quote:My now ex liked to joke a lot and “prank” me about being/cheating with other people. She loved those prank videos of a guy coming home and finding his gf “cheating”, but it’s really like a stuffed toy or whatever.
Anyway, I expressed how that kinda soured my ability to fully trust her bc she did those things In the beginning of our relationship. She agreed to not do it anymore.
Fast forward to today, after yet another lengthy discussion about our still struggling-to-bud trust (after several months). Talked it out, made up and I actually felt at peace with the result.
While we’re sitting watching tv later on that night, she, with an extremely shaky voice, horrible body Language, and close to tears, tells me that she has a kid she never told me about. (i had told her long before that I would never again make the mistake of dating someone with kids [thats another story]). So, I got up told her we’re through, and she swore it was just another joke that “went overboard”. I told her whether or not it really was a joke, I don’t want to be with her and left.
AITA?
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May 27, 2020 06:37
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- pentyne
- Nov 7, 2012
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TBF writing out a whole fictional story of a person doing a lovely thing so you can turn and go “Ha! You only think it’s lovely because they have a vagina!” is a better gimmick than Phiz’s other ones.
We've already seen all manner of permutations on "my partner destroyed/killed/threw away X and laughed when I was upset" it's not like its an uncommon thing for these people to just treat someone else's property and feelings like they don't matter and play the victim card when called out for it.
From calling a poster a diva for wanting their destroyed $2000 paint supplies reimbursed to people letting house pets run away and trying to buy forgiveness by picking up a new one at a pet store there's literally nothing about that car story that doesn't sound reasonable aside from the scrap company willing to take a car without seeing the title.
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May 27, 2020 06:41
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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intentionally blundering into an obvious trap so i can be misguidedly smug at the trap-setter is GBS at its finest, never change.
edit- me, building a pit trap: be careful, this is a pit trap
y'all, stumbling in rear end first: AHA! the presence of spikes means that this is actually a PUNJI trap! amature construction! look how easily i fall in and spike myself.
edit 2- also i think the story is real, i just said it's misogynist catnip. as in, attractive to misogynists.
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 27, 2020 06:44
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- Odd
- Dec 30, 2006
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I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe
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intentionally blundering into an obvious trap so i can be misguidedly smug at the trap-setter is GBS at its finest, never change.
edit- me, building a pit trap: be careful, this is a pit trap
y'all, stumbling in rear end first: AHA! the presence of spikes means that this is actually a PUNJI trap! amature construction! look how easily i fall in and spike myself.
edit 2- also i think the story is real, i just said it's misogynist catnip. as in, attractive to misogynists.
edit 3: i eat my own farts
edit 4: In a completely non-misogynistic way
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May 27, 2020 06:50
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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AITA for refusing to help my pregnant sister after she humiliated my parents?
So in the past we’ve gotten annoyed when people make reference to a specific thing that’s pivotal to the situation and say “this makes sense in my culture” without saying what culture that is, but isn’t it extra weird that this person is specifically asking for advice from others who come from that culture without naming the culture?
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May 27, 2020 06:51
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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edit 3: i eat my own farts
edit 4: In a completely non-misogynistic way
you just need to cool out a little
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May 27, 2020 06:52
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- pentyne
- Nov 7, 2012
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My (30m) girlfriend (27f) of 7 years left me in the most horrific way possible-- by completely ghosting me. It’s been two years and I still have frequent panic attacks and I don’t know what to do.
quote:
Two years ago, my girlfriend completely ghosted me. I came home after work and my entire apartment was cleared out of her belongings-- the only thing that was left was a bare mattress and my desktop. All I remember is screaming and blacking out. She blocked me on social media, blocked my number, and blocked my email. She also took all of my personal documents, including my passport, social security card, copies of my birth certificate, as well as my laptop.
I reached out to a friend we both shared to get some insight into what happened. I knew this person for years-- he and his accompanying social circle were the main reasons I moved to this city for work above all others. He told me that I “deserved everything that happened to me” and “better luck next time”. Parallel to this, my other friend screenshotted her Instagram and sent it to me-- he invited her to his house, threw a “ghosting party”, posted it to Instagram, with a huge manic post about “triumphing by leaving her abuser”.
We’d just moved into a new apartment together-- we signed a lease two months prior. We’d been living together for four years to this so it wasn’t new territory for us. She was pushing for more space and really coerced me into getting this place. I told her it was a serious commitment that I’m happy to do with her, but I’d be seriously stressed for cash for a while due to the cost of moving/furniture/deposit/etc. It ended up costing me my life savings for the move. Two months later, she ghosted. I was stuck with a year lease, no savings, and had to take out loans to move back into my old place which was fortunately still open, all while double paying rent until a new tenant was found.
We met in college-- I took her into my home while she went to her university after I graduated. I set her up with a job opportunity out of college where she makes way more than I could ever dream of. She was there for my entire adult life, from struggling to make ends meet, to moving to a new city and working on building a career for myself.
I go to therapy twice a week, and have been for years, but honestly while it helps in certain ways, flashbacks isn’t one of them. My PTSD has given me memory problems. It affects my work life, my love life, my hobbies, day in and day out. I go to bed anxious and I wake up anxious. Sometimes I go days-straight replaying what happened in my head. The world feels muted, like a huge explosion went off and I’m left partially emotionally deaf.
The worst is not having closure. I have nothing to go off of-- I was never told what I did wrong, she never brought up to me what I could have done differently that would have avoided this happening. I put forth incredible amounts of effort, emotional labor, and sacrifice to bring us both a prosperous and harmonious relationship, and in the end I was tossed aside and I’ll never know why. I’m stuck on loop and I can’t break out.
I was laid off on April Fool’s Day. Last I heard from a mutual friend checking in on me is that he’s now a director at a major tech company and she got promoted. This sent me into another spiral that’s lasted days. It’s hard to accept that bad things can happen to okay people, but it’s unfathomable that someone would do something so sinister and malicious to a person they claimed to love and they themselves succeed in spite of it.
Tl;dr: My girlfriend of 7 years ghosted me two months into a new apartment lease and she threw a ghosting party with her friends about it. I now have severe PTSD and it's affecting every aspect of my life.
I was hoping someone could offer advice on dealing with a situation like this.
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May 27, 2020 06:54
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- Peaceful Anarchy
- Sep 18, 2005
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sXe
I am the math man.
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So in the past we’ve gotten annoyed when people make reference to a specific thing that’s pivotal to the situation and say “this makes sense in my culture” without saying what culture that is, but isn’t it extra weird that this person is specifically asking for advice from others who come from that culture without naming the culture?
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May 27, 2020 06:54
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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He says what it is in the comments while completely dismissing everyone who says he's an rear end in a top hat even others from his culture because (reasons). Not too surprising given that he also dismisses his parent's opinions who are obviously from his culture and I'm gonna bet his culture doesn't look positively at ignoring the wishes of your elders.
Got it. Hadn’t tracked it down on Reddit.
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May 27, 2020 06:56
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- Odd
- Dec 30, 2006
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I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe
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you just need to cool out a little
You need to make me a pretty salad or i'll kick your rear end
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May 27, 2020 07:00
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- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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So in the past we’ve gotten annoyed when people make reference to a specific thing that’s pivotal to the situation and say “this makes sense in my culture” without saying what culture that is, but isn’t it extra weird that this person is specifically asking for advice from others who come from that culture without naming the culture?
He does in the comments, I believe it’s SE Asian or Indonesian Islamic
Edit: Peaceful Anarchy beat me by a mile.
DreamingofRoses fucked around with this message at 07:03 on May 27, 2020
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May 27, 2020 07:00
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for telling my sister she needs to lower her standards.
quote:My sister is 37 and has been mostly single for the past 3-4 years. She's a doctor and is working like 70 hours a week on occasion and the hours can be brutal. However, she takes time for herself and she's quite attractive (if that's not creepy to say). Plus, she's very intelligent and well-read and can discuss a ton of different things.
She's been complaining to me about her dating life a lot lately, saying how she can't find any guys that want to date her that she also wants to date. I have obviously asked her the reasons, and the main ones are she's looking for someone close to her age who's also career-driven like her, and more importantly, he must also be her intellectual equal. And he must also not be unattractive - to her at least.
I'm usually in "hang in there and keep trying" mode when these discussions happen, cause I don't want to upset her, but last weekend - after what felt like the 100th time she was starting that discussion - I tried to gently explore the subject that her expectations might start becoming a bit unrealistic as she ages.
She exploded on me.
All I told her was that, in my experience, finding a man like the one she's looking for is really hard, cause smart, hard-working, successful guys in their mid-late 30's or early 40's are generally all married by that point. So maybe it's time for her to lower her standards and go for one of the many men that do pursue her.
She got angry and told me she would go for them, but they all get intimidated by how more successful she is than them and that turns her off. So she now just disqualifies them from the get-go, cause she knows that it's a waste of time and said that "I don't have a loving clue what I'm talking about".
And then I got a bit defensive and we had a fight that went off on 3 billion different tangents. AITA?
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May 27, 2020 07:01
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- Evil Willow
- Apr 26, 2007
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Bored now...
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I (23M) am in love with a pretty close friend (16F) and don't know if i should confess
quote:Need some context :
Around 4 years ago i started talking with a guy (15M at the time while i was 19) We did meet on a discord group. 1 year later we were pretty close, talking to each other nearly everyday. Time go on and i start having feeling for him. I always though i was straight but w.e. We sometimes joked about how close we are and how we're pretty much like a couple but things doenst go beyond that point mostly because we live far away from each other (around 500km).
During that time something about his identity bother me, i won't go into every details since i don't think thats important, but its turn up he lied about his identity from start and never had courage to tell me the truth fearing that i would stop talking to him. So he was in fact called a girl and is younger that i though (16F while i'm 23M)
Her lying about her identity didn't bother me and we're still pretty close. But now my feeling for her are even stronger and i don't know what to do.
First of all, i don't know if she see me as a pretty close friend or if she has feeling for me Our age difference also bother me a lot, while 7 years isnt THAT much i don't know if i would be confortable telling my friend or family that i'm dating a 15yo girl Distance is still a problem as well, we still never see each other irl and tbh didn't see her face, just some old photos. Mostly cause she isnt self-confidence and doesnt like her face so she never wanted to show me. Also, she isnt really into Irl things, we were supposed to met in some convention this summer but got canceled cause of pandemic situation. So i asked her if she wanted me to come to her town for 1 day or 2 instead and she wasnt that much into it.
I feel like a teen right know just wanting to say "I love you" everytimes
So i don't really know what to do, should i confess to her or just try to hide my feeling and just stay close friend with her ?
Tl;Dr : I had feeling for a 19M that i met only 4 years ago, turn out he was a 15F instead. Age difference and distance are a big problem and i don't know if i should confess to her.
If my maths is correct, she was 11 or 12 when he started talking to her when he was 19.
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May 27, 2020 07:08
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Either this guy is an absolute monster or his ex is.
I had kinda thought maybe he was but the fact that she took all of that stuff kinda leads me to think its more on her.
That part just seems really weird and vindictive.
Who knows if the ghosting party part is true but if it is she's a sociopath.
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May 27, 2020 07:27
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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AITA for telling my sister she needs to lower her standards.
She is a 37 year old doctor. Im not saying its for everyone but one of the CEOs I worked with was that age and her boyfriend/babydaddy was a 23 year old househusband who spent all day watching the kid and staying utterly ripped and she, frankly, seemed to really like that.
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May 27, 2020 07:31
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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I (25F) laughed at my BF’s (23M) fetish how do I make it right?
How do I make it up to him because he’s otherwise a terrific guy and I don’t want him to break up with me because he feels insecure about it but I also feel like it’s just a matter of time until I get the “we need to talk” text
You must buy some latex sheets and construct a blanket fort crudely shaped as the female genital region. Buy the big barrel of lube off Amazon.
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May 27, 2020 08:11
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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You must buy some latex sheets and construct a blanket fort crudely shaped as the female genital region. Buy the big barrel of lube off Amazon.
Adult slip n slide
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May 27, 2020 08:34
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- empty sea
- Jul 17, 2011
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gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset
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She is a 37 year old doctor. Im not saying its for everyone but one of the CEOs I worked with was that age and her boyfriend/babydaddy was a 23 year old househusband who spent all day watching the kid and staying utterly ripped and she, frankly, seemed to really like that.
Of all the married doctors I know, only one has a sort of house husband and he makes her bangin' vegan lunches and does a shitton of extra stuff with the kids and over the last year he did the plant-based diet + exercise with so much success that he's lost like 80 lbs and is off all his heart/cholesterol meds. He's also cute, Scottish and a single child to everyone's despair.
Of course there's always a Thing. Apparently if they go to restaurants that do family-style he will throw a child-like fit if he can't have his own dish, just for him, to the point where she'll order it to go and after he eats family style like a normal person, he viciously eats his single meal in the car on the way home like some kind of food goblin.
I'm an only child but I'm not that much of an only child.
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May 27, 2020 09:26
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- blackmet
- Aug 5, 2006
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I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).
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My (30m) girlfriend (27f) of 7 years left me in the most horrific way possible-- by completely ghosting me. It’s been two years and I still have frequent panic attacks and I don’t know what to do.
I think I hate them both and they deserve each other.
quote:
You don't even warrant a reply with your gaslighting but I'm going to because it's important to set things straight:
No, only one person believed her. The others missing-staired me.
My best friend didn't want me to get the police involved because he didn't want to see an escalation. He said "just get new documents and move on". She stole federal documents of mine and my laptop, which is a crime and I absolutely should have gone to the police in hindsight. But I wasn't thinking clearly and was relying on others to help guide me through what happened.
Abused people don't brag about ghosting their spouse of seven years the week-of on Instagram in their brand-new apartment. She had to procure a new apartment, which takes time. This was methodical.
So honestly, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, your projection and conjecture and ultimately you need to get hosed.
quote:
If people want the truth-- the truth is my ex was extremely volatile I was afraid anything I'd do would set her off, so I became like water and ended up a doormat. She'd have full blown temper tantrums, screaming and crying, because I was a poor photographer for her Columbine cosplay photoshoots or brought up that I was uncomfortable that she was writing and drawing Columbine erotic fiction and fanart. She'd spend 12 hours a day obsessed with deplorable topics through writing and art, isolating herself from the world. She would get aggressive, verbally and emotionally abusive, when I'd try to break her free for even five minutes to eat or suggest a mutual activity. She'd constantly talk venomously about my close friends and family to the point where I felt like I wanted to escape my own skin. If she was this way to others, it was certain she felt this way about me with due time
quote:
The only lead I have for abuse is that I was pushing off reading the final published copy of her book. The only thing left in the apartment was the book and an upside-down hourglass.
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May 27, 2020 09:33
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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I think I hate them both and they deserve each other.
.
Yeah no there has to be way more to this. Both seem unwell, but you don’t drop the phrase “Columbine cosplay” without other poo poo going on.
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May 27, 2020 09:43
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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You must buy some latex sheets and construct a blanket fort crudely shaped as the female genital region. Buy the big barrel of lube off Amazon.
I remember the F Plus talking about wondering how you even try to act out that fetish, and this is GENUINELY the only thing I have heard anyone say that comes close to seeming like it might work.
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May 27, 2020 09:45
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- Evil Willow
- Apr 26, 2007
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Bored now...
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AITA for not wanting to train my cat to use the litter box instead of the toilet because my boyfriend doesn’t like it?
quote:Basically my cat is trained to use the toilet bowl, I have two bathrooms in my flat and the cat uses the guest one, it’s always up and clean because the cat uses it and knows how to flush it (sometimes he forgets it), I clean it every day and my cat been doing it for the past 6 years.
My boyfriend just moved in with me and he hates it, even if we have our own bathroom and barely uses the guest ones, he says it is disgusting and awful, last night we had a huge fight because the cat didn’t flush it’s poo and now my bf is saying that he is going to leave if I don’t litter box train my cat, but I see no point doing it since the toilet is much more hygienic.
So AITA for not wanting to change my cats habits to make my boyfriend happy?
INFO/EDIT: Adopted senior cat, declawed with aversion of the box and burring his own waste. In the shelter in order to not use the box he would poo poo and pee on his own bed and sleep on it, thing that decreased his chances of getting adopted, indeed I adopted him because he was in the shelter for 4 years. Toilet training was the way (and only way) for him.
Cat tax edit: Ben before going to work https://imgur.com/a/qcGQ85N (Picture taken AT MY WORK, where I had to put his food in the bathroom but it was for roughly three hours, he is a social cat and loves greeting people so I took him to work to greet the children from a school trip, he also doesn’t wear ties around the house. It was a special occasion, I don’t keep his food in the bathroom, this isn’t my bathroom)
EDIT 2: my cat is indoor and strictly followed by a vet, he has no access to outdoors and other cats, the risk of him having toxoplasma is super low and toilet is the only way for him. I don’t advise potty training for cats that have access to outdoors or isn’t a special needed cat.
Make sure you click on the link. He's a good, good kitty.
My favourite quote:
redditor posted:If you break up over this, definitely use this exact wording. "He was mad my can't didn't always flush after using the toilet." I wish my cat would use the toilet. I have a hunch that trying to get your cat to use a litterbox is step one that will eventually end in him wanting to get rid of your cat.
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May 27, 2020 10:11
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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AITA for not wanting to train my cat to use the litter box instead of the toilet because my boyfriend doesn’t like it?
Make sure you click on the link. He's a good, good kitty.
My favourite quote:
Correct that is a primo excellent cat and I’d KILL for my dumb fuzz children to use the toilet instead of cat litter hell.
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May 27, 2020 10:15
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- pentyne
- Nov 7, 2012
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Yeah no there has to be way more to this. Both seem unwell, but you don’t drop the phrase “Columbine cosplay” without other poo poo going on.
There's a lot of weird "I took her in and gave her shelter and opportunities, I got her a great job, I did everything" that sounds weird as gently caress and apparently the OP was being led around by the same friend that threw the party for her.
quote:I left out a part: She texted me while I was at work "we're breaking up. If you attempt to contact me without confirmation that you've removed yourself from our family phone plan, I'm blocking your number" and some stuff about figuring out the lease myself. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I ran home without wanting to believe it to be true. When I opened the door I screamed and fell to the ground. I don't have anger issues-- I've never in my life experienced such pain and that's how I reacted.
quote:My ex would act very sweet to everyone I knew and immediately turn around and flat-out tell me to my face just awful things about my friends and family. She cheated on me and flirted with people behind my back, would completely melt down if I brought up anything that made me uncomfortable about her incredibly disturbing behavior or hobbies. For some reason I endured it thinking it was part of the sacrifices needed to have a stable and healthy relationship. I didn't want to bring this up because I thought I could make my story without going into detail about her since her abandonment spoke by itself, but the truth is that she had a lot of the same traits as your ex, and I'm incredibly sorry you had to go through that. In hindsight it was a good thing that she broke up with me, but the lasting damage from the way she did is what makes the situation awful to me.
It's also possible the OP was just a literal doormat who provided food and shelter to a crazy person for years.
pentyne fucked around with this message at 10:38 on May 27, 2020
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May 27, 2020 10:34
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- Evil Willow
- Apr 26, 2007
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Bored now...
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I just love wedding hair drama!
AITA for asking my friend to dye her hair for our wedding?
quote:I am getting married next month. I WAS very excited, but then the pandmeic happened, and everything has been chaotic. I've never been married before, so there is still some excitement there, however, there have been minor spoilers all along the way. Back to the story! Our wedding is just around the corner, so I've been busy making sure I get all the small details done. Because of this, I haven't been on many social media platforms in a while. Last weekend, my fiance showed me a picture of one of the girls in my wedding party with very bright purple hair. She loves it, as the post states that, and it really does look good on her. I was shocked by the choice in color, as I've known her for many years, and she has never dyed her hair a color that wasn't considered natural. I thought on it for a couple of days, and finally decided to call her. I told her I loved her hair, was happy that she loves it, but at the same time, would prefer that it not be that color for the wedding, and that I would cover all expenses. I explained that I do like it, however, during the ceremony she will be right next to me, as well as in most of the pictures, and, while I don't take offense to the color, I would like the attention to be on my fiance and myelf, and that I feel her choice in hair color will take away from that. She became extremely defensive and upset, and refuses to see my side, or understand my feelings on this. We talked for a bit, she explained her feelings and reasons, and while I understand where she's coming from, I still would prefer her to change her hair color. I offered multiple solutions that wouldn't require her to dye her hair again, but all attempts made by me were shot down. The conversation ended with her saying she had to go and hanging up on me. So Reddit, AITA for asking my friend to change her hair color for our wedding?
EDIT (All edits have been made in response to comments)- Since this seems to be a common theme in the responses, I feel the need to clarify a few things:
People have assumed she's my bridesmaids, but she's our officiant.
The reference of the attention being on my fiancé and myself was made as far as us looking back at our wedding pictures.
I would normally NEVER ask someone to do this, BUT I am fairly conservative, and this is something completely out of character for her, which she, herself has admitted. She said wanted to try something new and different.
I did not ask her multiple times, I asked her once. I offered multiple solutions, most of which would allow her to keep the hair color but would also compromise to the conservative aesthetic of the wedding.
Some of the solutions I offered:
-I would pay to have her hair taken back to her prior color AND to pay to have it taken back to purple.
-I would pay for a powder "dye" which doesn't dye the hair, it conceals the color and washes out.
-I would pay to purchase a wig of her choice and have a salon put it on and style it.
-Let her purple hair fly, and attend the wedding as a guest, not the officiant.
6. The word conservative seems to be annoying people. Traditional may be the better word. While both sides of the bridal party have tattoos, none will be visible during the ceremony. While both myself and the groom have the mouth of a sailor, we won’t be cussing during our vows. That’s what I mean by conservative/traditional.
7. When I officiated her wedding, she told me how she wanted my hair, clothes, shoes, etc. I honestly didn’t expect her to get upset because of her requests on her big day. Not to mention she said she wanted to blend in with the wedding party and not stand out.
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May 27, 2020 10:38
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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AITA for taking away my son's laptop and reinstalling Windows on it after he infected our other computers by installing Linux on it?
quote:
My 14 year old son decided a few days ago that he was going to uninstall Windows on his laptop and install another program calledLinux on it instead. I told him that I didn't care either way as long as he can still do his schoolwork on it.
The very next day, our desktop computer as well as his dad's laptop both got infected with a virus, our Dropbox got hacked, and we lost a bunch of our important files. There are no computer repair shops open near us right now, so we became stuck using my daughter's laptop until they open again. I am fairly certain that this is a result of my son installing Linux on his computer, because this happened to two of our computers right about the same time he installed Linux on his. I told him this and took away his computer so that he can't do any more damage with it, but he got angry told me that this is impossible.
Today, I looked up online how to reinstall Windows on a computer, followed the instructions, and installed it onto his computer with a flash drive. Once I reached the stage where he needs to input his information, I gave the computer back to him, told him what I did, and told him to never install anything dangerous on his computer again. He completely freaked out, started crying, and said that all of his files and his schoolwork are now gone because I wiped his hard drive. I told him that he should have thought about that before infecting our other computers, and that he should have backed up his files.
I had to do this in order to protect our other computers, but I'm wondering if I should have told him ahead of time before I did it. AITA?
God in heaven I hope this one is fake, albeit a fun fake one
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May 27, 2020 11:24
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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AITA for taking away my son's laptop and reinstalling Windows on it after he infected our other computers by installing Linux on it?
God in heaven I hope this one is fake, albeit a fun fake one
Need to know what distro he was running.
NTA if it was Arch.
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May 27, 2020 11:29
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- coolusername
- Aug 23, 2011
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cooltitletext
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quote:I (32M) tried fixing things with my crush (30F) and create a friendly atmosphere between us, and I think I just made it worse
Sorry for the long post.
TL;DR - had a crush on someone for a year. She knew I was into her. We would meet in group settings. It was kind of awkward at times. I tried to make things less awkward by being candid and telling her that I would like to be just friendly. It ended up backfiring on me. Is there anything I can do to make this relationship into a candid and friendly one?
I had a crush on someone - let's call her Jane, for about a year. A year ago I saw her at some event, and was interested in getting to know her. I knew she was part of a social activity, and since I was anyway looking to get into new social activities, I joined the social activity.
I ended up really enjoying the company of the group. I was in a difficult place in my life, and the social activity and the friends I made there really helped me get by.
After two months Jane and I started to text each other in a friendly way. On the first conversation I was upfront and told her that I was interested in being more than just friends and that I would like to get to know her. She responded by saying that she would like us to be just friends and see if it could develop from there to something more serious. I agreed to try.
In the two months that followed, it was a confusing game of hide and seek. She would send me messages about once every two weeks, having some small talk over messages, but when we would meet in the group setting, she would not relate to me in any way. It was a bit awkward. I wasn't in a mentally stable place at the time, and I didn't really enjoy these games of hers. After two months of this, when I made it clear in a group setting that I was grateful for the company of the social group at the time where I needed the mental support, I think she realised that she was playing games, and made it clear to me (via messages, again) that she thinks that we are not a good fit. I responded by saying OK, and tried to move on with my life.
Since then, Jane and I would meet in the group setting. At first she sort of ignored me, and after a while - she tried to be nice to me. All this time, I was trying to improve myself, and reach a more stable peace of mind. The thing is that all my anxieties came out as some mild obsession over her. I didn't act on these obsessions, but I would constantly think of her. And I think she felt this when we would meet. She probably felt that I was still into her.
So as time went on, it felt like we were both walking on eggshells around each other. She would try to be nice and friendly, and so would I, but it just didn't seem natural (at least from my point of view). There were times where she would completely ignore me, and times where she would strike up a friendly conversation.
Two months ago our country went into Corona lockdown, and we had not really met in a group setting. Two weeks ago, Jane and I met in a group setting. She smiled from across the room and waved, but later when she was close to me, I tried to initiate a conversation, but she just walked right past me and ignored me.
This week, the social activity group met for the first time since the lockdown started. We had a really good time together. And it ended up that it was just Jane, another female friend, and I, at the end of the evening. Jane and I ended up walking home together and having a friendly conversation. The morning after, I decided to write her a rather long message, telling her that I wanted to tell her this yesterday, but ended up not doing so. In the message, I told her that I was in a bad mental place last year, and that I was sorry if I caused her any discomfort. I was dealing with my own poo poo, and it had nothing to do with her. I said that I hope that I felt that we were in a spiral in the past year, and I hope that we can get out of it. And I hoped that we can continue talking calmly and candidly. I wished her all the best.
I think that what I was hoping for, is that by being upfront and honest, we can try to be somewhat friendly - at least in the group settings, without ignoring each other.
Well, the response I got was like a bucket of ice cold water in my face. She responded cooly with a short message that honestly she didn't feel any pressure that caused her any discomfort. Apparently, it was all in my head, she didn't think we were any kind of spiral. So it's all good... and she's happy to hear that I'm at a better place.
Her response was kind of insulting, I don't think I was making up the fact that sometimes she would totally ignore me and sometimes be nice. Maybe I was looking for some kind of validation from her for my feelings. Honestly, I'm not even sure she was the one who wrote the message. She can be such a warm and kind person, that I'm surprised to receive a somewhat brutal response like this.
In the aftermath, maybe deep down I was hoping for some way to salvage our relationship. Maybe I was still hoping for us to be more than just friends. And maybe she just saw through all of this, and made it very clear that there is no chance in hell that she and I will ever get together again.
But, I think that together with this hope, I really candidly wanted us to be on friendlier terms and be more comfortable with the presence of each other in the group setting. It annoyed to sometimes be ignored by her, and I really tried to make things more natural between us. I guess I should have just let things be and not sent the message.
But now instead of trying to being just friends, I just created the opposite effect. I'm a bit embarrassed to show my face in the social group after this.
Is there any way out of this?
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May 27, 2020 13:22
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- Butter Activities
- May 4, 2018
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Can't post for 18 hours!
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Says hi to some lady in passing.
How do I salvage this relationship.
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May 27, 2020 13:48
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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I (32M) tried fixing things with my crush (30F) and create a friendly atmosphere between us, and I think I just made it worse
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May 27, 2020 14:04
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- coolusername
- Aug 23, 2011
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cooltitletext
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I thought of (´･ω･`)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw-ID3eMcEw
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May 27, 2020 14:08
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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I’ve only been with one girl my entire life. She wants to get married. Feel like I’m missing out on life but I’m scared to lose her. Is it time to call it off? (19M)
quote:So I’ve been with my gf at the time for 2 years. I went to an all boys school so I pretty much had no interaction with girls in my high school years. I met my gf through social media (we had mutual friends). I thought she was very pretty and tried extremely hard to get her and finally did. At the start of the relationship everything was good, I was still trying to impress her and was extremely attracted to her, started imagining us getting married etc.
Fast forward 2 years and the relationship is kind of getting boring to me. I still love this girl to bits and am still attracted to her, she is definitely wifey material, but I feel like I haven’t experienced anything. She wants to continue dating until we get married and I don’t want to sound arrogant but I feel like she really does deeply love me.
The problem is I haven’t even talked to another girl yet in my life so Idk what it even feels like. I feel like I’m missing out on a big portion of life. All my mates are chatting to many girls and stuff and I must admit I find girls at university really attractive. I really have urges to chat up girls but obviously I don’t because I would never do that to my gf.
My problem is that if I continue being with my gf until we get married, then ive pretty much been with only ONE girl my entire life. I just can’t get that out my head and I feel like I’ve missed out on so much. Forget having only one gf in my life, I haven’t even talked (flirtatiously) to another girl besides my gf ever.
I would call it off but I really don’t want to let this girl go. I feel like she’s so perfect for me and I really want to wife her. But I just want to experience what being single feels like. If I break up with her and we both go our separate ways then I’ve lost a girl who was super wholesome and in love with me and I’m scared I’ll regret it. If I don’t break up with her and we end up getting married, then I’ve pretty much gone my whole entire life only talked to and been with ONE girl. I just feel like I’ve missed out in so much, but I really don’t want to lose this girl forever.
Such a hosed dilemma to be in. What do you guys think? Do you think if we break up for now, there’s still a possibility that we can get married in the future??
TL;DR - only been with and spoken to one girl (my gf) my whole life. Feel like I’m missing out but scared to lose her forever. Should I end it?
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May 27, 2020 14:11
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- mania
- Sep 9, 2004
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AITA for telling my GF she shouldn’t join my gym?
quote:TLDR at the bottom but the whole story will give you a better picture since the summary alone makes me sound questionable.
I’m (32m) currently doing home workouts because of the current world situation and my fiancé (31f) has decided to join me since there’s not a lot to do right now and she wants to lose some weight for the wedding (her decision, I don’t think she needs to lose any).
Anyway, last week after one of our cardio workouts my girl says she has been thinking about joining my gym once things go back to normal because she has gotten into a good routine and thinks it would be a good bonding experience for us. Now I have no issue with her working out with me at home but my concern is the gym I go to doesn’t have a woman’s only section. I’m worried she might not feel comfortable in the main area with all the guys and financially it doesn’t make sense for us right now especially since she wouldn’t be going while on her period.
So with these concerns in mind I sat her down last night and tried to explain my position. The conversation was going really well in the beginning but for some reason she didn’t understand why she wouldn’t be using the gym on her period and got really mad at me once I explained. it wouldn’t be healthy for her or sanitary for any of the men using equipment after she did. She’s told me that’s not normal and girls don’t avoid the gym just because they’re on their period. I looked it up and couldn’t find anything to support me but I still think she shouldn’t be going during those weeks and if other girls want to be unsanitary it’s up to them but I would prefer she didn’t do the same. This...didn’t go over well. It was the biggest fight we’ve ever had and I feel like poo poo every time I think about it.
Anyway it’s been a few hours since we woke up and she hasn’t really spoken to me since last night so I’m pretty sure she’s still mad. I really need an outside opinion on this because I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong by being concerned with her wellbeing and the other men using the gyms equipment.
TLDR: My girl wants to join my gym but I said she shouldn’t because there’s no women’s only room (don’t want her to be uncomfortable) and she wouldn’t be there while on her period for sanitation reasons so we’d be paying an extra week for no reason.
**Edit: I’ve removed a section because I feel like the wording is making me come off badly when I didn’t mean it that way. Like I’ve said in some comments I’m only worried for her as she has leakages sometimes and don’t want her to be embarrassed. So please stop calling me sexist as I’m not trying to be, I’m just trying to protect my girl.
quote:I don’t think I know more about her anatomy then she does but I’m trying to give her a perspective from a mans point of view that her using that equipment during that time of the month is gross. Leakage happens and I don’t want her to be embarrassed if that happens while in the middle of a workout surrounded by other men
quote:I thought it was common knowledge? I don’t sanitise everything at home but if leakage happens I expect my fiancée to clean that up. I’ll Google around some more but I already tried that
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May 27, 2020 14:43
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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I'm very picky when it comes to girls physical appearance and is limiting me so much that I feel like I'm never going to fall in love again
quote:This will sound very superficial, but I [22m] feel like I can only fall in love with some very attractive women. I have tried to date some women that are less my type but it never works out... Like last week I went on a date with a girl she was in medical school, the smartest women I ever met, funny, have a lot in common, but it just didn't work because her appearance, she was pretty don't get me wrong but not really my type. I'm very honest with girls and told her straight up it couldn't work just after our second date.
My recent breakup was very hard, she was very beautiful (model) and maybe that's my problem, that I am physically comparing my dates to her.
My problem is I can't seem to find love, I'm only attracted to these very hot women who are rejecting me left and right. I am not the most attractive, I just managed to be in a long relationship with a model, and maybe I have expectations higher than I deserve. I get that I should lower my standard, I have tried, but I just don't get those butterflies and excitement... I'm not going to get with a girl just so I can be with a girl but I really miss being in love. I want to be proud to have her by my side, a girl were when I go out everyone's look at her etc.
Also I seem attracted to girls who reject me, or very hard to get which makes things harder. For example, I had one very big crush at work for over 3 years on the same girl and I would dream about her a lot but she had a boyfriend so I knew nothing will never happen. And then recently we matched on tinder, she told me her boyfriend dumped her, she was messaging me non stop trying to go an a date with me and it turns me off so hard I just ignored her.
*I'm also sometimes rejected by girls that are less my type and that's okay.
TL;DR: I'm very picky when it comes to girls physical appearance and is limiting me so much that I feel like I'm never going to fall in love again
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May 27, 2020 14:47
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 19, 2024 20:33
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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AITA for telling my GF she shouldn’t join my gym?
quote: Well no, I grew up with a very religious family and went to catholic schools
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May 27, 2020 14:48
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May 27, 2020 06:16
