|
Blinkz0rz posted:Why did you switch a 2 year old to a toddler bed? Was he climbing out? Yes. Incessantly. Almost every night, multiple times a night, whenever we would walk out.
|
#
?
May 27, 2020 18:56
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 15:21 |
|
|
Renegret posted:"AHHHHH THAT'S WEIRD" Put a shirt on, my guy.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2020 19:07
|
|
|
the goon moobs must fly free
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2020 19:08
|
|
|
Waterbed Wendy posted:Put a shirt on, my guy. Too late. Kid knows playthings exist under that shirt.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2020 20:14
|
|
|
Uh laying down on the floor while my kid pokes my belly button is basically my favorite game
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2020 20:57
|
|
|
My favorite game is "Nap" where I lay on the floor and they tuck me in with blankets and pillows. It doesn't hold their attention for long, but it's glorious while it does.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2020 23:49
|
|
|
My 6 year old hates eating the crust on sandwiches but loves to eat the heel of the loaf. Fuckin' kids man.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 00:32
|
|
|
It's definitely not a failing to have a kid with bad sleep habits. There are no rules to this whole parenting thing and while I couldn't stomach the increased risks of bedsharing, you bet your rear end I get why people do it! I also bet people here have some thoughts on my baby sleep choices so I'm not here to be on a high horse. What works for you works...until it doesn't. Kids aren't a puzzle to solve once and then it's all figured out for good, you are constantly growing and evolving with them. You can start sleep training older babies/kids, but the downside is they understand manipulation a bit so it's a different kind of stressful. Do some research and come up with a plan that both you and your wife are on the same page about. Be consistent. Sleep deprivation is really tough. It wasn't until we started getting more regular sleep that I felt like I could be the parent I wanted to be during the daytime.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 00:43
|
|
|
I literally wish I were dead sometimes in all of this. Then I’d get some rest. Not joking
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 04:51
|
|
|
Oh mate. Sometimes either me or my husband will say that sleeping forever sounds good. The other reminds them that this is death, the reply is always ‘sounds good’.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 05:09
|
|
|
Levitate posted:I literally wish I were dead sometimes in all of this. Then I’d get some rest. I totally get this feeling. But if it becomes too real of a feeling, please get help.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 05:41
|
|
|
Levitate posted:I literally wish I were dead sometimes in all of this. Then I’d get some rest. I’m feeling this this morning. This little rear end in a top hat WILL NOT loving SLEEP. LET’S ROLL AROUND IN OUR CRIB PAST 830, WAKE UP AT 12:45, AND THEN WAKE UP AGAIN AT 5:45 SO WE CAN DRIVE DAD UP THE WALL BECAUSE MAYBE HE HAS OTHER poo poo TO DO SO WHY NOT FORCE HIM TO COME IN AND GET ME AND RUB MY EYES WHILE HE CHANGES MY DIAPER AND I SHAKE MY HEAD NO WHEN HE ASKS IF I WANT TO GO BACK TO BED SO HE CANNOT EVEN HAVE A HALF HOUR TO HIS loving SELF IN THE MORNING INEXPLICABLY WE’D RATHER SLEEP LIKE poo poo AND SHOW LITTLE TO NO SIGNS OF IMPROVEMENT AFTER WE ARE CONVERTED TO A BIG BOY BED. MIGHT AS WELL BE A loving NEWBORN. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY HE IS DOING THIS. No I’m not going to do anything rash or stupid. I’m just at my wit’s end. I don’t understand how he is doing this day after day and taking lovely naps on top of it. It feels on purpose, deliberate, not going to lie. Or that we are being punished for something.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 12:22
|
|
|
Yep. Up with her at 11, 2, and then had to hold her from 5am to 6. That was actually a good night. I don't even know how we can manage to sleep train her again because she's teething (the top front 2 are coming in and taking their sweet old time) and we live in a one bedroom apartment, so she will literally just keep screaming for over an hour if I don't go to her. She's turning a year old on June 8 and I have not slept one night in that time. Daycare is opening up after June 5 and I don't know whether I should send her back. I feel like I have to for my own sanity although I am worried about her physical health. But at some point, I'm going to have to. The vaccine is a LONG time away and I don't think I can continue trying to squeeze a full day of work into the 2.5 hours I get during her naps.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 13:16
|
|
|
Levitate posted:I literally wish I were dead sometimes in all of this. Then I’d get some rest. I remember our eldest coming home from school nursery completely shagged out and would collapse into bed, now he constantly gets out of bed and pesters us. The little one had a perfect routine which has shattered like babies do, now he's cutting another tooth + discovered he can be REALLY loud + is preparing to crawl. Yesterday we somehow got the kids asleep at 8pm, holy poo poo actual free time to do whatever I want! Oh wait my family wanted to video chat for the whole evening. A Game of Chess posted:Daycare is opening up after June 5 and I don't know whether I should send her back. I feel like I have to for my own sanity although I am worried about her physical health. But at some point, I'm going to have to. The vaccine is a LONG time away and I don't think I can continue trying to squeeze a full day of work into the 2.5 hours I get during her naps.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2020 21:17
|
|
|
Yeah it's just relentless...that's the tough part. Daycare was at least "ok I can get some other poo poo done" even if I was busy.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 01:56
|
|
|
Over the past two days we moved to a new place. My wife has been great packing boxes and stuff to get ready while I attempt to telework. My mom came to help “watch” our 19-month-old. Day 1 was getting a uhaul and loading up a million boxes with my wife while my mom babysat. This took from 8-5:30. One time we came home and my mom assured us he was fine but he tried to eat some rocks and random tree seeds and had them in his mouth. He doesn’t seem worse for the wear, unless you count loving lack of sleep! Day 1 was a 1-hour nap, he’s usually good for at least 1.5. Then after we were loving exhausted from the move, he decided to sleep like poo poo all night long, just in time for day 2 and the movers to come move all the big stuff. Day 2 was no nap, because he’s in a new loving place and while he was getting ready to go down, the movers show up with the new goods. My mom watched him by letting him play in mud and stamping his hands in a bird fountain. He also got his foot caught in a piece of furniture while she was “watching” him (read: on her phone). I wasn’t there for most of it because I was trying to clean the old place and get all the little odds and ends out of there. My wife wasn’t too happy I left her for long. I think we just realized his wall is next to our bathroom. I could hear my wife shutting the shower door. Guess we’ll need to deal with that tomorrow and see what day 3 has in store for us. At least none of our poo poo broke...except our minds. Seriously reconsidering a second one after the last two days. I’d actually like for him to just be 5 or 6 so he doesn’t do this anymore, or if he does than at least he understands why we’re frustrated a bit more. She means well and she’s actually great with kids but our tolerance is way lower than hers. He went to sleep late as poo poo, hasn’t eaten a thing hardly, and he woke up after one hour. Tonight will be loving awesome. Real talk : I’m getting super frustrated with my wife. We’re not on the same page at all. I’m thinking just try the Ferber method here where we pick him up for like a minute and put him back down, wait 6-7 minutes and do it again. She holds him and if he’s falling asleep then she’ll just hold him for a bit longer and then put him down. If not she takes him downstairs, offers water or food and then tries again. I think tonight is just an anomaly and it won’t continue like this but gently caress man, can we not just give in to him nonstop? Maybe he’s super frustrated but maybe he’s also testing us? I dunno, I don’t apply logic too well here and I’ve been told my bedside manner kinda sucks and I should empathize with him a bit more. I just want sleep. nwin fucked around with this message at 03:04 on May 29, 2020 |
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 02:57
|
|
|
nwin posted:Real talk : I’m getting super frustrated with my wife. We’re not on the same page at all. I’m thinking just try the Ferber method here where we pick him up for like a minute and put him back down, wait 6-7 minutes and do it again. Sounds like you're dealing with a lot of the same stuff we're dealing with right now - somewhat unreliable child care help, tensions about how to best get the kid to a routine where everyone can sleep for more than a few hours at time, finding the middle ground with your partner about how to handle tantrums and emotional outbursts. Wish I had the answers, but my 19 month old is still(!) cosleeping, sleeps alone in his toddler bed for naps about half the time (for 2 hours if we're lucky) and sometimes I wonder how my wife and I are going to handle a second (or third) kid if she can't even tell the one we have now "No" and I get stuck playing the bad cop/mean dad all the time. Good luck! Seriously though, just try to have patience and empathy for your wife. She's probably equally frustrated.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 03:15
|
|
|
Everything sucks and life is a goddamned waking nightmare. This has been your daily Quarantine with Kids update from BonoMan.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 03:28
|
|
|
nwin posted:I think tonight is just an anomaly and it won’t continue like this but gently caress man, can we not just give in to him nonstop? Maybe he’s super frustrated but maybe he’s also testing us? I dunno, I don’t apply logic too well here and I’ve been told my bedside manner kinda sucks and I should empathize with him a bit more. I just want sleep. I think kids are just little black boxes at that age (mine is, at least) because it's hard to tell which behaviors are boundary testing versus just being a tiny person with a limited capacity for understanding rules and almost no emotional control. My wife and I had this discussion a few days ago. Luckily, our kid seems to understand bright line rules well enough (don't go in the street!) but any sort of nuance is lost on him completely (it's okay to throw your ball, but not your sippy cup. Why is one okay and not the other?). Since he doesn't yet understand the purpose the rule, he seems to instead be systematically throwing everything and looking for our reaction. Boundary testing, or just trying to understand what behavior is acceptable? It's honestly hard to say. I'm certainly no expert, but it does help that my wife and I are on the same page about these sort of things. Is your wife tired/frustrated or really not wanting to discipline your kid? I'd suggest seeing if someone trustworthy can watch your kid for a little bit and sit down with your wife and try and hash these things out. GamingHyena fucked around with this message at 03:49 on May 29, 2020 |
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 03:47
|
|
|
Hey. Everything sucks right now and our stress responses are out of control. It all feels a billion times worst than it did two months ago. But toddlers are toddlers, and babies are babies. They're not manipulative and they're not doing what they do to upset you or get you or beat you. They feel your stress, and they compound it. When you're upset, they get upset. And cry. And fight sleep, and being alone, and doing all their usual stuff. It's hard as poo poo, but please try to remember that. I keep it like a mantra when my kids are pushing all my buttons at once and my fuse is like half as long as it used to be. Toddlers gonna toddler, they need and deserve compassion too - just like we do as adults.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 07:12
|
|
|
cailleask posted:Hey. My problem isn't the 11 month old. It's the 6 year old entropic child that only seeks to take every situation to its most destructive end as quickly as possible.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 07:14
|
|
|
nwin posted:My mom watched him by letting him play in mud and stamping his hands in a bird fountain. He also got his foot caught in a piece of furniture while she was “watching” him (read: on her phone). I wasn’t there for most of it because I was trying to clean the old place and get all the little odds and ends out of there. My sympathies for the whole moving thing. That's tough with a toddler! I suspect you and I have a similar personality, with a decently large need for control? I'm basing that on what you write about your mom's babysitting so pardon me if I'm way off base here. I often have similar thoughts whenever my wife has our daughter for the day. I'm told I have a tendency to "be on her case" whenever she does something a different way than I would have. It took me a while to get to this, but I'm now trying very hard to accept that when someone else takes the responsibility, I shouldn't interfere (unless it's life-or-death). Most things that I get up-in-arms about in the moment are in fact totally acceptable if I think about them a few hours later.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 08:24
|
|
|
cailleask posted:Hey. Yup. Also I was an absolute hellion of a child about sleep. My earliest memory is of bouncing up and down in my cot at night (which means I would have been just under 2), and I clearly remember the stress of bedtime when I was 3 and older. It was a vicious cycle stemming from being a kid that struggled with falling asleep, and my parents desperately wanting some time to themselves in the evenings. I'd get tossed in bed when I was still wide awake, then get in trouble for not being able to get to sleep, my parents would get angry, I'd get stressed and upset, falling asleep would be even harder, rinse + repeat - and as I got older I started trying to avoid bed altogether because bedtime was frankly a poo poo experience for me. Even when they finally got me into bed and I stayed put, I'd often wish them goodnight as they passed my bedroom at 10pm to go to bed themselves. I have insomnia as an adult and still have to take a sleeping pill every now and then to help me drop off. So, in an effort to NOT pass this poo poo experience on to my son, our go to has been to preserve the sanctity of sleep. Sleep is king. Whatever it is that helps him sleep, we do, even if we have to wean him off it later. He let us know when he didn't want to co-sleep anymore and he's not going to be the teenager that still needs a pacifier to go to sleep. And if it's not working, that's okay. Getting mad about him struggling to sleep is not going to help him fall asleep, I've been there and I know it's a poo poo time. Sometimes he has to get up, we read a bit, maybe he plays quietly, then I ask him later to give sleep another try. He has a bedtime routine and he goes down for the night at 7pm ideally, but we have to roll with the punches when it doesn't work out.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 09:41
|
|
|
Checking in to the thread with our 13 month old, mostly to remind myself we are not alone with sleep problems, and that it is only temporary.... please, let it be temporary. Overall she’s doing great. She’s smart and knows how to make us laugh, and she’s got a really sweet personality. She just started walking, so I’m hoping these sleep problems are related to this new developmental leap. She has never been a good napper. Usually 15-30 minutes twice a day, 40 minutes if we are lucky. She had her first sleep-through-the-night at 12 months, then the rest of the month she’d either sleep through or be up once. The past week or so has been hell. It suddenly takes us two plus hours to get her to sleep, and she’s waking up in the middle of the night for two to three hours at a time. Wide awake out of nowhere. We are holding on for dear life just like the rest of you. I’m reducing breastfeeding to night time only since I still don’t have my period and we want to get working on babby two soon. That’s actually been going fine, apart from sometimes when I cave and put her on the boob so she will nap during the day. We are so tired. Thanks for reading.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 11:17
|
|
|
Hippie Hedgehog posted:My sympathies for the whole moving thing. That's tough with a toddler! You hit it on the nose. I’m definitely a control freak and feel that everything is on me, even when it isn’t. The mom situation is perhaps a little different because I see it and get frustrated and I might say something but my wife sees it more often, says things to me more often, but will not talk to my mom and ask her to not do something. My wife is way laid back and I’m always wound loving tight-I’ve just always been that way. I try and remind myself he’s just a baby/toddler but sometimes I just feel like my wife is babying him, to which she says “yep-he’s a baby”. We’ve talked in the past about this and she does admit she gives in sometimes but it’s usually rational (hey we just had a lovely two days moving...if he wants me to walk him to the pantry and look at the snacks-no big deal). Admittedly, I think I try to take charge way too much when poo poo is out of my hands and I’m expecting my son to be way more rational than is possible at this age. I’m also the sole provider for the family so that adds additional stress-I’ve got great job security but it’s still stressful. I need to calm down and relax and just enjoy the good moments with him, but gently caress if having no sleep doesn’t make that hard as poo poo!
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 11:19
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:Checking in to the thread with our 13 month old, mostly to remind myself we are not alone with sleep problems, and that it is only temporary.... please, let it be temporary. We went through something similar about that age, going from great sleep for two or so weeks after finishing night weaning to just utter crap constant wakings. In our case, it was a canine/ molar double whammy, and things got waaay better around 15 months, after both sets came in.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 11:52
|
|
|
Got news that our preschool is doing summer camp. I wish I could trick myself into believing that it would be safe. We just need a loving break.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 12:40
|
|
|
We've been lucky the last 3 nights with our daughter sleeping through. She had 2 of her last set of molars burst through which we assume it was her problem. Last night was interesting as she didn't want a book read to her. She wanted to go straight in the crib and wanted to read herself. She did bounce around some playing with her toys but eventually got to sleep.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 13:07
|
|
|
My wife and I were at least in bed a little earlier last night, and our son did wake up in the night but put himself back to sleep. Sometimes I can tell whether he probably will or won't put him back to sleep by his crying pattern and volume. Then, loving hallelujah, he slept until 7am this morning. This is still insane to me. I don't know how we are going to get out of this cycle of having to be in there until he falls asleep. We tried leaving him in his room the night before, like putting him in bed and then walking out, and he wasn't having ANY. OF. THAT. poo poo. Like demonic screaming from him at his door. My wife of course can't handle this for long so she eventually went in there. I'm like some of the other dads ITT--feeling like I have to be the bad cop and like I don't give our son enough grace in his most toddlerest of times. My wife and I are mostly on the same page, but she is way more lenient on him when he's being an rear end in a top hat. We look at her brothers' respective toddlers and one of them sleeps like a champ and is well-behaved, the other also slept like a champ and is well-behaved. We have a kid who sucks at sleep, is a super-sweet kid but has the potential to be a loving butt head. So last night as I was on my way home from work my wife sent me a text saying, "We've been in timeout three times tonight, Daddy." I was surprised as poo poo, because she has been slow to get on that timeout train. She told me she even played the Frozen II "Into the Unknown" song on Alexa while he was in timeout so he'd hear what he was missing. But gently caress, I want to be on the same page with his sleep and what we're gonna do about it. I cannot sustain for much longer the loving sitting in there 45m-1.5h while he takes his sweet time falling asleep. I'm never angry when I'm sitting in there with him, and he definitely falls asleep a little faster when I'm in there versus my wife being in there. A couple time she's gotten frustrated and walked out, saying, "Okay dude you have gotta go in there and sit with him because I just...I just can't, he's being a little rascal." So I go in there, not a single peep out of him other than the occasional twitch or position shift. This is why I feel like the bad cop, my son seems to act up more with my wife than with me, but still tests his boundaries constantly and only listens when it suits him. Ugh. This season has been really really tough. But whenever my son climbs in my lap and gives me a hug, or whenever I'm tickling him and he says, "AGAIN DADA", I forget all about the hard parts.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 13:29
|
|
|
nwin posted:She means well and she’s actually great with kids but our tolerance is way lower than hers. Letting the kid play in the mud with his cute clothes is the kind of poo poo my wife does. (Bird bath? Not so much.) For what it's worth, mud is A+ in the sensory department so letting your kiddo play in it is good for their development. But it's also the kind of thing that, when I see it happen, I have to walk away and let my wife deal with it. I can't stand messy babies. I did some painting with him alone a week before mothers day so we could give mommy some paintings as a gift and I was a disaster the whole time. I have no idea how his teacher does it several times a day at school with 4 kids at once. e: also he's cutting 4 molars at once and he's only 16 months. So we've been having a hard time sleeping too but...we have to be patient with him, he's having a bad time. Renegret fucked around with this message at 13:38 on May 29, 2020 |
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 13:36
|
|
|
Hey all, glad I found this thread, just wanted to say anyone going nuts with a baby is that it sucks so much and you get more tired than you ever have before in your life and you just want to break down and cry but after the baby stage you will look back and say holy poo poo that is all a blur and it went by so quick looking back. I think this is an evolutionary trick our brains play because otherwise we would never have more than one. My youngest is just transitioning to full on toddler stage and we really are done so I’m already missing the baby stage a little. For a funny anecdote I was setting up one of those water table toy things yesterday with the kids all waiting for it. My middle child, who is the sweetest most empathetic person I’ve ever known was offering words of encouragement. Once it was done she says “good job daddy, you did great.. but you could have been much faster”. She’s gonna be a manager.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 18:48
|
|
|
priznat posted:Hey all, glad I found this thread, just wanted to say anyone going nuts with a baby is that it sucks so much and you get more tired than you ever have before in your life and you just want to break down and cry but after the baby stage you will look back and say holy poo poo that is all a blur and it went by so quick looking back. I think this is an evolutionary trick our brains play because otherwise we would never have more than one. I read somewhere, maybe in this thread, that it’s a result of sleep deprivation loving up our memories. It’s totally true too because my daughter is almost 6 months now and I’m wondering where the hell the time went. For the first 3 months each day was the new longest day in my life. I wrote some journal entries to document my feelings and I’m glad I did because if I relied on my memories I would have been yet another parent glossing over the absolute hell that is a colicky newborn. Whatever the gently caress colic means, gently caress that vague rear end term and gently caress all the time I spent googling colic.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 18:55
|
|
|
nachos posted:I read somewhere, maybe in this thread, that it’s a result of sleep deprivation loving up our memories. It’s totally true too because my daughter is almost 6 months now and I’m wondering where the hell the time went. For the first 3 months each day was the new longest day in my life. I wrote some journal entries to document my feelings and I’m glad I did because if I relied on my memories I would have been yet another parent glossing over the absolute hell that is a colicky newborn. Whatever the gently caress colic means, gently caress that vague rear end term and gently caress all the time I spent googling colic. I spent my entire life thinking colic was a named disease/condition with specific treatment only to be informed as a new parent that it basically means "baby cries a lot, not sure why, probably developmental or something idk".
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 19:05
|
|
|
My youngest has separation anxiety which has made it difficult to do activities with the older one when the youngest one wants to constantly be held and to drag me to this place or that place. How have you all handled dealing with separation anxiety from your children?
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 19:13
|
|
|
nachos posted:I read somewhere, maybe in this thread, that it’s a result of sleep deprivation loving up our memories. It’s totally true too because my daughter is almost 6 months now and I’m wondering where the hell the time went. For the first 3 months each day was the new longest day in my life. I wrote some journal entries to document my feelings and I’m glad I did because if I relied on my memories I would have been yet another parent glossing over the absolute hell that is a colicky newborn. Whatever the gently caress colic means, gently caress that vague rear end term and gently caress all the time I spent googling colic. It's the sleep deprivation. Same thing happens when you go through military training - they deliberately keep you so worn out and leaving sleep that your brain starts to short circuit, which makes it easier to engrain whatever training you're doing and modify behavior. You come out the other end with very few bad memories (mostly) and a vague feeling of accomplishment.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 19:22
|
|
|
Renegret posted:Letting the kid play in the mud with his cute clothes is the kind of poo poo my wife does. (Bird bath? Not so much.) Playing in mud is fine! Leaving him to my wife to clean up after isn’t.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2020 21:57
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:My wife and I were at least in bed a little earlier last night, and our son did wake up in the night but put himself back to sleep. Sometimes I can tell whether he probably will or won't put him back to sleep by his crying pattern and volume. Then, loving hallelujah, he slept until 7am this morning. Can you just throw on some headphones and listen to a podcast or something? I have to be next to my daughter while she falls asleep - admittedly it doesn't take nearly as long most nights but on the long shifts I'll either listen to something or just have a solid nap myself.
|
|
#
?
May 30, 2020 09:24
|
|
|
Chadzok posted:Can you just throw on some headphones and listen to a podcast or something? Yeah we are having to sit next to him and rub his back while he’s in his bed, just so he won’t squirm and wiggle trying to keep himself awake. I sit there and play a game on my phone and don’t interact, or that’s what I’ve been doing, anyway. We figured out sitting in the floor next to his bed and rubbing his back makes the process a bit quicker.
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2020 02:11
|
|
|
loving night terrors. gently caress.
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2020 04:00
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 15:21 |
|
|
How do night terrors manifest for a toddler? Is it just (haha, "just") inconsolable crying or is there something unique to it? My mother-in-law gets something like that and it's extremely unsettling. In the middle of the night she'll start screaming in a high-pitched voice helllp meeeeee!!! over and over again without waking up. It's bad enough to hear an adult do that when both you and she know she's safe. I really don't look forward to the same experience with a small child.
|
|
#
?
May 31, 2020 04:34
|
|