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texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
Mayonnaise and Ketchup are disgusting.

Hot sauce is legit though

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Pakistani Brad Pitt
Nov 28, 2004

Not as taciturn, but still terribly powerful...



texaholic posted:

Mayonnaise and Ketchup are disgusting.

Hot sauce is legit though

They all have a place but mustard has the most places, yes.

Lol at anyone who dips chicken tenders in a non mustard based sauce

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
Lowest of hte calories, highest of the flavors, a true king.

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
I feel mustard has an unfair advantage since there’s lots of different kinds, whereas ketchup and mayo are just ketchup and mayo. Or at least in my fridge I have Heinz ketchup, Hellmanns mayo and like ten different mustards.

Current stash of mustards include: Colman’s powder, Pommerey in a stone jar, Maille dijon, Alsace brown, yellow american, and two varieties of french specialty mustard, one with tarragon and the other (and current favourite) with green peppercorns.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Clearly this is a thread for quality people of a well developed and refined taste.

Let me ask the hard questions:
while store bought ketchup and mayonnaise are tepid garbage, many people make their own Katjap inspired sweet and sour sauce and Aioli.
I'm personally of the opinion that those are cool and good, how do you feel?

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
Yeah, we’re all on the same page in here I feel. You can (and I have) made my own ketchup and mayo. Ketchup has no middle ground imo. It’s either for its traditional uses (trashy foods) or ‘ketchup’ like you might find on the menu at Per Se, featuring heirloom tomatoes and Barolo vinegar, which is to say, a pleasant tasting gimmick.

Fresh made real mayo is an actual food that is good, and a valuable lesson in emulsion for the home cook. I still make mine laboriously with a whisk when I actually want it (which is rarely).

Mustard is a journey, mayo and ketchup a commute.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


I don't really like mustard as a condiment, but I like cooking with it. so I have powdered, dijon and yellow mustard.

this is the greatest mustard-based fried chicken dip (and marinade):
1/4 c sliced pickled banana peppers, finely chopped
1/4 c pickling liquid from the banana peppers
1/4 c fresh lime juice
1/4 c yellow mustard
1/4 c veggie oil
1 t mustard powder
1 T sriracha
1 T ketchup
2 T brown sugar
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 habanero, minced
4 green onions, sliced

Crusty Nutsack fucked around with this message at 16:57 on May 20, 2020

The Breakfast Sampler
Jan 1, 2006


It's true, Mustard is probably the humblest and hardest worker in the condiment game. All substance. The workhorse of sauces.

Torquemada posted:

I feel mustard has an unfair advantage since there’s lots of different kinds, whereas ketchup and mayo are just ketchup and mayo. Or at least in my fridge I have Heinz ketchup, Hellmanns mayo and like ten different mustards.


I was at the store the other day and I saw Heinz has made all of these mixed mayo/ketchup/whatever sauces. "Mayochup." "Kranch." "Mayocue." "Mayomust." Just looking at them upset me on some primal level. I've had fry sauce or whatever and it's fine but they just all looked so gross in the plastic bottles. I doubt it will take off though.

Pakistani Brad Pitt
Nov 28, 2004

Not as taciturn, but still terribly powerful...



Torquemada posted:

Yeah, we’re all on the same page in here I feel. You can (and I have) made my own ketchup and mayo. Ketchup has no middle ground imo. It’s either for its traditional uses (trashy foods) or ‘ketchup’ like you might find on the menu at Per Se, featuring heirloom tomatoes and Barolo vinegar, which is to say, a pleasant tasting gimmick.

Per se level cuisine notwithstanding, and at risk of banishment from the Mustard thread for Ketchup discussion:

Can we all agree (in a context where ketchup is desired) that no one wants a restaurant's homemade hipster ketchup? I hate it when I go to some trendy bar and grill who is still ostensibly serving burgers and fries and the like, and they give you a cup of some bullshit homemade curry ketchup or some cloyingly sweet ketchup because "ketchup is sweet so we took it to its culinary extreme". Just give me some goddamn Heinz in that case.

Jenny Agutter
Mar 18, 2009

The Breakfast Sampler posted:

I was at the store the other day and I saw Heinz has made all of these mixed mayo/ketchup/whatever sauces. "Mayochup." "Kranch." "Mayocue." "Mayomust." Just looking at them upset me on some primal level. I've had fry sauce or whatever and it's fine but they just all looked so gross in the plastic bottles. I doubt it will take off though.

Break free from the two jar grind

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
I can agree, I don’t want hipster ketchup. I have a deep and abiding love for emulsion sauces though, maltaise, béarnaise, hollandaise, you name it: I don’t mind trying whatever the cook thinks is mayo.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Does Zabaione count as an emulsion sauce?

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser

By popular demand posted:

Does Zabaione count as an emulsion sauce?

I consider it an emulsion, but it’s a dessert not a sauce. Sabayon, which is obviously the same name and the same item appears in my brain as a sauce. So if I was served anything other than beaten egg, sugar and Marsala after ordering Zabaglione I’d be vexed, but sabayon can be anything, curry flavour, star anise, coconut (I’ve made and liked all these).

Chevy Slyme
May 2, 2004

We're Gonna Run.

We're Gonna Crawl.

Kick Down Every Wall.

The Breakfast Sampler posted:

It's true, Mustard is probably the humblest and hardest worker in the condiment game. All substance. The workhorse of sauces.


I was at the store the other day and I saw Heinz has made all of these mixed mayo/ketchup/whatever sauces. "Mayochup." "Kranch." "Mayocue." "Mayomust." Just looking at them upset me on some primal level. I've had fry sauce or whatever and it's fine but they just all looked so gross in the plastic bottles. I doubt it will take off though.

The reason you saw a dozen different ones is because Mayochup has already taken off and is a huge hit for Heinz.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


CaptainPsyko posted:

The reason you saw a dozen different ones is because Mayochup has already taken off and is a huge hit for Heinz.

:barf:

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


you ever heard of fry sauce? because that's all it is

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Crusty Nutsack posted:

you ever heard of fry sauce? because that's all it is

Fortunately that's not a thing here in the middle east.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


By popular demand posted:

Fortunately that's not a thing here in the middle east.

great, it's not a thing where I am either. that doesn't mean it's not a common thing to a whole bunch of other people which would explain why it's selling well.

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

By popular demand posted:

Clearly this is a thread for quality people of a well developed and refined taste.

Let me ask the hard questions:
while store bought ketchup and mayonnaise are tepid garbage, many people make their own Katjap inspired sweet and sour sauce and Aioli.
I'm personally of the opinion that those are cool and good, how do you feel?

Homemade condiments are great particularly mayo. Mass produced ketchup regularly has a bunch of sugar/high fructose corn syrup and is really disgusting. Maybe I missing something but I can't ever remember liking ketchup of any variety. The only thing worse than ketchup is ranch.....

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Crusty Nutsack posted:

you ever heard of fry sauce? because that's all it is

i didn't realize they also include "additional spices" and it's not just literally mixed Mayo and Ketchup.

maybe its good

empty sea
Jul 17, 2011

gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset
Spicy ketchup is the best ketchup. If I just have regular ketchup I like a lot of black pepper in it, it cuts the sweetness.

Mustard based BBQ sauces are the best. You need that tangy flavor to balance the meat.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn
I have a years-old copy of Cook's Illustrated somewhere around in the living room, and they reviewed all the name brand dijon mustards to find which was the best. Instead of finding a single brand that was better, they discovered that the freshest/most recently made mustards were by far the best. Grey Poupon and Maille rated best for all other factors, but if what you want is sharp strong mustard your best bet is to get whatever has the most recent production date/longest best by date.

I don't go through mustard that fast, so I've only done a few tests since reading this. Anecdotal, but it sure seems to be true. I got a little squeeze jar of Wegmans dijon mustard that was bottled less than a month before I bought it and HOO BOY it's a tear-jerker. Toothpaste sized blop on a ham sandwich feels stronger than horseradish. In general, I like the taste of Grey Poupon, but I've never found a "really fresh" jar of it.

Try this next time you go buy mustard, regardless of brand. Dig into the back of the shelf and try to find the freshest stuff. It makes a huge difference if you can find "new" mustard.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


If fresh is what you desire just make your own, It's not hard.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn
My condiment fixation is hot sauces, and I've made my own of those. It helped me figure out what types of pepper and what styles of sauce to look for when I want to get something from the store!

I don't eat enough mustard to warrant making my own. Nobody else in the house likes it. I just thought it was interesting how big a difference there is based on the freshness of the mustard.

I think I found the web article from Cook's Illustrated but it's behind a paywall. I remember it got into the chemistry of it, and it had something to do with the fact that the sharp/spicy parts of mustard break down pretty fast no matter what you do to preserve it. Like how a freshly cut onion can make your eyes water, but day old diced onion won't do that no matter what.

Jenny Agutter
Mar 18, 2009

By popular demand posted:

If fresh is what you desire just make your own, It's not hard.

Hell no i read that onion article

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
Mustard really is the best, you can make something similar to like every other condiment using it. Honey mustard, spicy mustard. God I fuckin love mustard

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
I always get the kind that has the funny little german man on the jar.

BromanderData
Mar 20, 2013

Stroke it with me

The Chosen One

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Mustard really is the best, you can make something similar to like every other condiment using it. Honey mustard, spicy mustard. God I fuckin love mustard

Lest we forget mustard BBQ sauce.

Synthetic Hermit
Apr 4, 2012

mega survoltage!!!
Grimey Drawer
Mustard is the ultimate spicy condiment. Sharp and satisfying. I love it on fried tofu.

And this German dijon is the ultimate mustard:

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug
I learned relatively recently that in old timey england they stored mustard by forming it into giant orbs. mustorbs.

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

Cajun Sprinkle is my holy grail and I'm not sure what to put mustard on.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

BromanderData posted:

Lest we forget mustard BBQ sauce.

Whichever Carolina it is that has mustard BBQ, they got that poo poo right

That style of BBQ sauce is my absolute favorite on any piece of smoked pork. Ribs and pulled pork butt especially.

It is also a god tier chicken wing sauce. If you can find any restaurant or bar that will serve wings tossed in Carolina mustard BBQ sauce, DO IT

excellent bird guy
Jan 1, 2020

by Cyrano4747
mustard mayo and honey mixed together is pretty good

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

mustard is cool but dutch mayonnaise is the only condiment that should go on fries. ketchup is only good when mixed into other sauces or on an omelette

shadow puppet of a
Jan 10, 2007

NO TENGO SCORPIO


Half correct. I'm too big a fan of mayo with that mustard and always find myself humming a few bars of this whenever its time to mustard up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRntutn8udw

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

uber_stoat posted:

I learned relatively recently that in old timey england they stored mustard by forming it into giant orbs. mustorbs.



:orb:

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


FTFY

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Got a sampler pack of different mustards for Christmas. Just cracked open the French style, whole mustard seeds. Not as good as the others were.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


super sweet best pal posted:

Got a sampler pack of different mustards for Christmas. Just cracked open the French style, whole mustard seeds. Not as good as the others were.

What were the other kinds of mustard

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Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy

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