- Deformed Church
- May 12, 2012
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5'5", IQ 81
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He's a bit of a dipshit but maybe blowing up at your boyfriend in public is not the best way to address it.
oh no, a snipe. Here's a story
AITA for causing my ex landlord to lose money by warning his prospective tenants?
quote:This happened just prior to the lockdown. Corona was a thing but lockdown hadn't been initiated properly yet. I (23F) lived separately from my parents but an incident with my landlord forced me to leave the place immediately. My landlord (43M) lived in the ground floor with his wife and daughter, and i lived on the second floor. The first floor house belonged to someone else.
The incident was that my landlord used to wait for me to not be home, use a secret second pair of keys that he had and snuck up to my apartment to sleep on my bed and try on my underwear. I found this out by setting up cameras in my house before I left because I was suspicious that something strange was happening in the house, just didn't know what. After I found out, I got really scared, contacted my parents and told them I want to come home. My parents were supportive and my dad told me that he would deal with the landlord from this point on. Basically, I stopped paying rent immediately and my dad and brother went to get my things. We filed a police complaint but due to the virus it went on the backburner. He hasn't returned my deposit yet.
I got a call the other day, from an unknown number. It was someone from the same college as me. This person needs to shift to a new place urgently and found that the flat I used to live in has been listed. Apparently the landlord told this person they would charge her a reduced rent during the virus and stuff. She had just called me because she knew I used to live there and wanted to know about the flat. I told her my experience and told her to be careful.
Later my dad got a call from the landlords wife. She was crying and stuff. My dad blocked the number but i feel terrible. They have kids in school so I definitely don't want the wife and kids to suffer for this man. Apparently i was their only source of income.
I dont regret leaving at all but should I have been less aggressive or militant when I spoke to this girl? I basically told her she can do what she wants but if i were her i wouldn't waste a second on this landlord because of what he did in my private space. She kept coming up with things she could do to prevent what happened to me... She was in half mind after hearing my side of the story but i basically convinced her to not go for it. My family disagrees. AITA?
OP says in the comments that the wife knows and told the dad her husband shouldn't be punished for one mistake. That's a hell of a mistake lady.
Deformed Church fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Jun 2, 2020
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Jun 2, 2020 15:10
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 24, 2024 11:39
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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Help! My Colleague Blames Work Problems on Astrological Signs.
quote:Q. Astrology in the workplace: My new co-worker “Martina” and I have never met in person; she joined the company a month ago, long after the officewide work-from home-mandate was made. We’ve both been assigned to a big project, and in our first Zoom call, she deduced I was a Taurus. “That’s going to be a big problem,” she told me. Martina is an Aries, and I guess an Aries doesn’t get along with a Taurus? I wasn’t sure how to respond to her proclamation, so I moved the meeting on without addressing it. Now the project is going well, but whenever Martina disagrees with me, or if something doesn’t go how we planned, she blames it on my astrological sign. I’m really frustrated, and while I don’t want to demean her beliefs, it’s difficult to fix issues when she thinks something is a facet of my personality. How should I approach this?
quote:A: “Martina, I don’t want to discuss our astrological signs at work. If you have a problem you want to discuss regarding the project, I’m happy to talk about it, but please stop bringing astrology into the conversation.”
It’s not demeaning to ask her to stop! She has every right to think and talk about astrology in her personal life, and you’re not impeding the practice of her beliefs. All you’re asking her to do is talk about work when she’s at work. If she doesn’t stop after that, raise the issue with your manager, who should back you up on this without hesitation. This is not a work issue, and she has no reason to cite your zodiac sign as a reason for professional disagreement.
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Jun 2, 2020 15:28
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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Let him learn
quote:My husband and I each brought two teenagers to our marriage. “Kyle” is 14 and going through an obnoxious phase. He especially loves to mouth off sexist remarks to his sister and stepsisters. It doesn’t help that his father is soft on him since he is the only boy. If we punish him, my husband will end up relenting. I have been teaching my daughter and stepdaughter how to cook—Kyle will call their food “crap” or steal it behind their backs and laugh. It has been going on for months. No matter what I try, Kyle will start on his sisters.
The breaking point came when my daughter made soup and salad for dinner. Kyle told her it looked like poo poo. Then he slapped her butt and told her to make him a sandwich. She dumped the soup in his lap. My husband and I fought over what to do. I told him I wasn’t going to punish my daughter. I was proud of her for not putting up with getting sexually harassed. Kyle’s behavior had been out of line for weeks and maybe this would be time he’d learn his lesson. My husband said my daughter overreacted and could have seriously injured his son (Kyle was fine) and that “you girls needed to learn your place.” I told my husband fine—he could deal with Kyle. I was done. I wouldn’t be cooking, cleaning, or taking care of him anymore. Neither would the girls.
Since then, Kyle and my husband make their own meals. I eat with the girls and they are all completely happy about this. Kyle is unhappy and living off sandwiches. My husband is struggling to get him to finish his schoolwork and has had several bad conversations with his daughter and ex over Kyle. My husband has told me I have proved my point, but I don’t think it will stick. I don’t want to have to go through this again. What should I do?
quote:Since you and your daughters are having such a nice time eating together without your husband and Kyle, why not have an even nicer time living together without them too? Your husband has made it abundantly clear that his priorities are to overlook and enable his son’s sexual harassment, regardless of the toll it takes on your daughters or on you. I’m not confident that this “phase” is going to pass anytime soon, especially since you say your husband is “soft” on Kyle because he’s a boy. That speaks to something pretty foundational in their relationship: “If Kyle wants to insult and slap his stepsisters, who routinely cook his meals for him, then that’s his right as a boy, and the girls have to learn how to put up with it.” Sure, if the soup had been boiling hot and Kyle had been burned after your daughter emptied a bowl onto his lap, things might be different—but it wasn’t boiling hot, and your daughter knew that when she threw it on him, so I don’t think your husband’s attempt at misdirection is one you should take seriously. Much more concerning is his belief that all of you—his own wife and stepdaughters—should “learn your place,” which is one of subservience toward his teenage son.
The fact that before this you and the girls were apparently doing all of Kyle’s cooking and cleaning for him suggests that you can do a lot better than a mere return to the status quo. If your husband is now struggling to raise his own child without a team of women and girls to do it for him, that’s not an argument for going back but an indicator that nothing substantial will change if you do.
Your husband is gutter trash and has made his son into gutter trash.
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Jun 2, 2020 15:33
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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Help! My Colleague Blames Work Problems on Astrological Signs.
The fool who bases personalities merely on sun sign and not entire charts.
Also astrology isn’t meant to be used like that
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Jun 2, 2020 15:39
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- Inexplicable Humblebrag
- Sep 20, 2003
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Every time he is ready to cum he shouts "I'm ready to cum queen!"
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Jun 2, 2020 16:00
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- Cough Drop The Beat
- Jan 22, 2012
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by Lowtax
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Please, please make the new thread title /r/relationships: Every time he is ready to cum he shouts "I'm ready to cum queen!"
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Jun 2, 2020 16:12
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- Cough Drop The Beat
- Jan 22, 2012
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by Lowtax
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Also OP unironically uses "coochie" to refer to her vagina and that's almost as disturbing as her boyfriend's behavior.
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Jun 2, 2020 16:13
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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I Updated My Dating Profile, While Dating. Is That Cheating?
quote:I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (21M) for about 1.5 years. A few months ago, I was having some serious fears about our relationship. Mostly, we don't share the same religious views, which would be fine if it was always just us, but we both want kids, and we both understand that being united as parents is important. Anyway, I spoke with him about these fears. The option to leave came up, but I didn't want to break up during the school year, and I wasn't sure I wanted to break up at all. He didn't want to either, but he mostly wants me to be happy, so he left the choice up to me.
A few weeks ago, I thought I had made the decision to break up with him. I just hadn't done it yet because I wanted to see him in person one last time (we haven't seen each other since early-mid March). One day after making the decision, I was bored and updated my Facebook dating profile. I swiped a bit, said hi to two matches. I didn't actually have a convo or any real intention of dating anyone new. The next day, I felt really ashamed of what I did, since I hadn't broken up with my boyfriend yet. I deactivated my profile and realized I wasn't ready to leave him.
He and I have since had a heart to heart about our issues and my anxieties (turns out, I have an anxiety disorder that has been manifesting over the last six months) and we're good. I'm still not sure we'll make it to marriage, but we're trying. Anyway, should I tell him about what I did? Is it technically cheating, even if I wasn't actively seeking out a new partner? Even if I didn't actually talk to anyone?
TL;DR I (21F) decided to break up with my boyfriend (21M), updated dating profile with no real intention of finding someone new, then felt ashamed and realized I didn't want to leave him. Should I tell him what I did? Does it technically count as cheating?
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Jun 2, 2020 16:48
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- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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That boy needs to be shown some serious consequences. Fast.
Like say hot soup dumped on his lap? Or being reduced to fending for himself for sandwiches for each meal while the women eat real meals?
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Jun 2, 2020 16:51
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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I loving hate my job, I'm going to find a new one where I'm actually appreciated
*updates linkedin profile and spends 10 minutes scrolling through open positions*
y'know I think I might stay here after all
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Jun 2, 2020 16:52
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- PostNouveau
- Sep 3, 2011
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VY till I die
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Grimey Drawer
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I Updated My Dating Profile, While Dating. Is That Cheating?
It's a pandemic. You don't have to delay a break up just to do it in person god knows when. Do it over Zoom.
Not that they're breaking up, but she had a dumb reason for staying together for so long.
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Jun 2, 2020 16:53
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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Like consequences that will have a lasting impact and aren't immediately undermined by his dad.
so what you're saying is, the soup should have been hotter
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Jun 2, 2020 16:59
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for not telling my brother that I've always known he's gay?
quote:My brother is 19. I'm 23. When he was 14, I asked to borrow his laptop to send an email because mine was installing updates. He said sure, so I took his laptop downstairs, opened it up, and there was a forum that my brother was posting on about being gay and trying to come to terms with it. I didn't read any of his posts but the thread title on the forum was something along those lines and it was his username. I immediately knew that this wasn't something I was supposed to see so I closed the browser, sent my email, and never mentioned to my brother that I saw it. I never pushed him into coming out or asked him about it but I did make sure from that point on to always talk about LGBT issues in a positive way around him so that he would feel supported when he did come out.
Fast forward to last week. My brother came out to our family in an email. I sent him one back saying that I was proud of him etc. He then phoned me up and we had a conversation. He said something jokey like "remember that time I loaned you my laptop? I'd been using it that morning to talk about being gay and I actually thought I'd left the browser tab open on it so that you would see it and I wouldn't have to come out, but I must have closed it by mistake, what an idiot." I then told him that I had seen it but thought he'd be embarrassed, so I never mentioned it. He got annoyed with me on the phone and said that he'd spent the last 5 years thinking that no-one knew his secret when actually I did, and so he spent all those years worried for no reason. He then hung up on me. He did text me afterwards to say he wasn't mad at me and that he appreciated that I'd always been very open about supporting LGBT rights but he needed a bit of time to soothe his bruised ego and recalculate how he felt about the past 5 years in the closet.
I feel like I inadvertently ruined his coming out. AITA for not saying I knew he was gay?
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Jun 2, 2020 17:02
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- Motherfucker
- Jul 16, 2011
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I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
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AITA for not telling my brother that I've always known he's gay?
haha thats cute. He'll be fine.
Although phrasing it as 'I did make sure from that point on to always talk about LGBT issues in a positive way around him' is creepy.
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Jun 2, 2020 17:11
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- Uncle Enzo
- Apr 28, 2008
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I always wanted to be a Wizard
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haha thats cute. He'll be fine.
Although phrasing it as 'I did make sure from that point on to always talk about LGBT issues in a positive way around him' is creepy.
A teenage boy to silently take the initiative of "I better make certain that my words indicate support of my brother, who is gay but doesn't know I know" is pretty cool, actually. It doesn't say he was gay-bashing before, just that the OP was careful with his words. That's good.
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Jun 2, 2020 17:18
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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I (37f) feel like my husband (44m) had an emotional affair....he says she was just his "work wife".
quote:I am very emotional over this so please let me know your thoughts. I feel duped.
FACTS:
- We've been married for 5 months
- He worked with "Cheryl" (20sf) 1.5 years ago (she's since moved to another State last year and they no longer work together)
- I only found out about this 2 months ago (AFTER we had married)
- He has tried to deny that it was an emotional affair, and when I insisted it was he tries to blame my "coldness".
While he worked with Cheryl, I was very much in love with him (obviously). We had our issues, but overall I would have said our relationship was very good (again, obviously....I went on to marry him). He spoke about Cheryl, but I knew she was his buddy at work....a co-worker. I never thought anything of it. She's around 15 years younger, she had just come back from maternity leave and she is married. I often noticed him texting her, but they worked closely on projects so I thought nothing of it. When she left the company, he bought her an expensive gift, but told me it was on behalf of their whole department (which I still believe is likely true....but I did find it kind of odd that he was the one in charge of buying it to begin with, but that's a minor point).
After we got married, he set up a PC for me in our house. I went to use it and he had his work email open on it. Normally I would just log out. This time, I noticed an email from Cheryl with several red hearts in the preview. His email was opened to the previous year (so it wasn't recent) but my curiosity got the better of me and I opened it.
I won't bore you with everything but my fairly brief look-around told me this much: they had an emotionally intimate relationship going on....certainly didn't sound much like work colleagues. Just some quick things I saw:
- He called her a cute nickname
- They both repeatedly sent emails saying how much they missed each other over weekends
- He said he wasn't ready to lose her (when she announced that she was leaving)
- They had a couple of spats at work (where she was angry at him for something and crying and he was begging her to please come to his office to talk to him)
- There were also several emails where she would email him and he would say "I want to talk to you but please don't email me here....text me instead"
- He had to go to the hospital for stitches once and posted about it on facebook. She email him chastising him for not calling her (??) and he said "I wasn't going to call you....you're sleeping beside another man."
It just gutted me to see how close and intimate he was with some other woman. I had no idea!! I thought she was his work buddy who he worked on boring projects with and they gossiped about the boss they both disliked. Meanwhile they were having work spats! Apparently she once even took his coat when she was mad and refused to give it back and they were arguing back and forth about that through email. They sounded more like high-school kids than professionals.
He never mentioned a word about how close he was to her, so I had no idea. I blew up, and he tried telling me she had just been a close work friend....a "work wife". I wasn't buying it. He then said it was just a silly fantasy to get them both through the day because they hated working there. That it meant nothing. That it was "safe" because they both were in happy relationships and knew it was never going anywhere. I remained furious and he then basically said various things, such as that she made him happy at work and I couldn't expect to be "everything" to him. He said that I was often cold and she was the polar opposite...warm and affectionate. I asked how she was affectionate at work and he said just touching his arm or giving him hugs (wtf). He also claims he wasn't looking at all for anything and she's the one who started it. As if that matters.
I told him he had to block her on facebook and he did without any hesitation. I was still very upset so I contacted her husband because I felt he should know what had been going on. His response: "Thanks for letting me know. I've actually known all along. My wife doesn't want him...he's all yours".
My husband says I'm way over-reacting. I say he tricked me because I am not sure I would have married him had I known he had such an emotionally intimate relationship with some woman at work while we were together and never even bothered to let me know.
PLEASE help....I need opinions. Am I over-reacting? Is this what a work spouse is all about? Am I out of touch? I honestly don't believe it was ever physical (for many reasons....one of which being it wasn't logistically plausible at all). HELP!
tldr: my husband had what I consider an emotional affair. He says no, she was just a work-wife and I'm over-reacting.
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Jun 2, 2020 17:24
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- Uncle Enzo
- Apr 28, 2008
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I always wanted to be a Wizard
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I think the brothers upset comes from realizing "poo poo maybe things would have been ok and I could have spent the last 5 years really differently". I can definitely understand being kinda hurt and confused. Like maybe the OP could have, like, quietly mentioned it to him that he knew but his secret was safe? But maybe that would have made the brother think "oh no my brother knows and that means he might tell other people or maybe by accident. Maybe I have to get in front of this" and then end up taking steps before they felt safe taking them.
I think making their LGBT support very very clear over time opened the door. The brother could feel pretty assured of OP's response, so the brother choosing not to share is their choice (and fault).
"I found out my sibling was gay but hadn't told anyone, so I respected their privacy but made it as obvious as possible that I would be cool with it" pretty sure that's a solid approach.
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Jun 2, 2020 17:27
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- PostNouveau
- Sep 3, 2011
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VY till I die
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Grimey Drawer
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I (37f) feel like my husband (44m) had an emotional affair....he says she was just his "work wife".
Wonder whose kid it is
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Jun 2, 2020 17:33
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- PostNouveau
- Sep 3, 2011
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VY till I die
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Grimey Drawer
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Edit: Double post
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Jun 2, 2020 17:33
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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My Son Won’t Let Me Visit My New Grandchild
quote:Dear Care and Feeding,
I’ve hoped and prayed for a grandchild for years. Finally, my son and his wife welcomed my first grandchild in April. Because of the pandemic, we were not able to go to the hospital to visit, and there was some question as to whether my son would even get to be present. Luckily, he was, and everyone is healthy and happy. The new parents allowed my husband and me to be present when they brought the baby home and have allowed regular visits.
They’ve stated that they would like us to strictly quarantine to prevent any risk of COVID infection. We have mostly done that, besides necessary trips to the grocery or the hardware store, golf outings for my husband (who needs the exercise), and stops by the gas station. We’ve also done a few “social distancing” visits with a couple friends, where we all sit 6 feet apart while we chat.
When my son expressed discomfort with the socially distanced visits, we mostly stopped; however, it is difficult to stay away from family and friends and spend all our time at home. This past week, our state began to allow hair salons to open. I immediately scheduled an appointment with my hairdresser, and my husband did the same. My son mentioned that they weren’t comfortable with this, and I explained the precautions the businesses were taking and that we’d wear masks. In the spirit of honesty, I also mentioned that we had recently visited a relative, but she lives alone and we “social distanced.” Well, before Memorial Day, my son and daughter-in-law told us they wanted to pause in-person visits.
I’m a retired medical provider, and I know better than he does when behavior is risky. I told my son this and mentioned that they needed to focus on bigger issues, like getting the baby to take a bottle, and that he should probably be meeting other people lest he become uncomfortable with strangers. Having visits with other people would also make his transition to day care easier.
My son did not seem to appreciate this advice, but I only told him what he needed to hear (honestly, he’s always been a bit sensitive). Because we no longer had the plans we thought we would for Memorial Day weekend, we had a few social distancing barbecues with some friends. Honestly, we’re doing everything reasonable to keep ourselves and the baby from harm. Besides that, there’s very little evidence that COVID even affects kids that seriously. We just want to see our grandchild and help out. I even offered to watch the baby while the parents work from home, but they’ve refused! What can I do to get them to see how absurd they’re being so that I can finally see my grandson? We’re not trying to invade upon their space, but we do believe we have a right to see the baby.
—Grandparents Have Needs Too
quote:Dear Grandparents Have Needs Too,
Your son and daughter-in-law have been mostly clear about their desires that you and your husband follow recommended best practices: stay socially distant, avoid unnecessary outings, and be generally vigilant. By your own admission, you’ve “mostly” sort of done that. A trip to the golf course is not necessary; neither is a haircut. I’m not saying that it’s easy to upend the usual business of life, simply that it’s what we’ve been asked to do by most authorities, and what you’ve been asked to do by your family.
Unfortunately, I’m not sure grandparents have a right to see their grandchildren. Your son and his wife are taking the precautions they feel are wisest, and that is their right as parents. It’s been a while, so you might not remember how sensitive parents can be in those early, newborn days, especially with their first child. A new parent’s instinct is to cocoon, to keep the baby safe. I cannot imagine how much more imperative that feels when there’s a pandemic sweeping the globe. For your son’s sake, I wish for him a parent who is a little more understanding.
I get that you don’t see eye to eye with him on this; I concede that it’s hard to be parented by your own child. But dismissing this as his “sensitivity” or trying to micromanage how he parents an 8-week-old baby is not going to get you very far. I know you’re desperate to be with this longed-for grandchild. It sounds to me like you’re going to have to make some sacrifices about haircuts and golf games and wine with friends in order to accomplish that; only you know if you’re willing to agree to those terms.
Yet another entitled grandma who only says "me me me me me!"
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Jun 2, 2020 18:21
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- Grimdude
- Sep 25, 2006
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It was a shame how he carried on
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Like, they seem to have made a point of breaking almost every quarantine suggestion and are surprised the son doesn't want to expose their newborn.
"We did quarantine. Well, except for the golf games my husband NEEDED to play. Well, except for the gatherings with our friends. Well, except for the hair appointment I made literally the moment I could."
Oh and "I'm a retired medical provider so obviously I know better" seems pretty rich after reading all of that.
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Jun 2, 2020 18:30
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- RenegadeStyle1
- Jun 7, 2005
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Baby Come Back
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From the emails and their responses it sounds more like her husband was stalking/harassing then an affair.
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Jun 2, 2020 18:31
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for being mad that my husband didn't defend me?
Yesterday my husband and out kids went out for a drive. We ended up going to his friend's house because we were on that side of town. We live in the south and it gets VERY hot, so the obvious clothing choice is a T-shirt and shorts. Well long story short my husband's friend said I couldn't come into his house because I didn't respect myself because I was wearing short shorts (my husband told me this afterwards). He told me he just laughed it off AND CONTINUED WITH HIS VISIT. I had to sit outside in the car for about an hour with my kids and no air conditioning. My husband was laughing as he told the story and said it wasn't a big deal and I'm overreacting. AITA?
Edit 1: I'm not saying that this makes anything better but my kids were fine. They had plenty of cold water, things to eat and toys. They were playing and having fun.
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Jun 2, 2020 18:32
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- DeadMansSuspenders
- Jan 10, 2012
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I wanna be your left hand man
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Found this one in the old thread while looking up posts for the "best of" list. While it is not quite that calibre, I enjoyed reading it again.
My (25F) boyfriend (26M) of 2 years flew into a rage after losing at beer pong
quote: I had to leave early to take him home around 10 pm on the 4th, because he got kicked out for fighting. He was too drunk to drive (so I had to drive his stick which I barely know how to do) this was a really frustrating night and I don't want to make any rash decisions about the relationship.
It was me him and four of our friends at the first of the bars we'd planned to go to after fireworks. Him and one friend went to play beerpong at a table set up for that. I wasn't paying attention until I heard him suddenly start shouting. The bar was pretty loud so I hadn't heard whatever led up to it.
He was yelling obscenities, then I went over to intervene. He said "fine, here, let's just get this poo poo over with!" and slammed the ball into the last of his cups. Then he grabbed two of the cups, said "You win, lets loving celebrate!!" then threw them at our friend. Beer went everywhere, he started to throw more of the cups, but I stepped in to stop him. It spilled all over me instead trying to grab it. He yelled at me to gently caress off.
I'm so sick of this poo poo, he's hypercompetitive with other guys like thinking if he doesn't win he's less of a man, or something. He has to win every game, has to be the one able to drink the most, get the most likes on social media from random girls (this has been an issue between us before) He played go fish with my 8 year old cousin at Christmas and when he lost he said it was "loving bullshit" and dropped his cards everywhere. He's challenged his friends to fight then said it's a joke and I'm being dramatic. They treat all of this like a joke, just laughing it off as normal ribbing, I feel crazy like how do they not see he's not laughing? He threateningly tells people to "come outside with him" His anger is obvious and it's obvious he takes it serious even if they don't. Any time I try to confront him about how he gets way too aggressive he calls me dramatic or overreacting. Or even better, doesn't remember at all because he was wasted out of his mind. (That's what happened yesterday when I brought it up)
The security made him leave. He was cussing at them and causing a huge scene. Our friend said something like "the gently caress is wrong with you bro?" but still kind of laughing/confused. He said (this was outside the bar now after we all followed him out) he said in a really calm scary voice, "If you want to beat me, beat me like a man. Beat me right here on the street in front of all these people or did you give up your balls to your wife in exchange for once a month pityfucks?" This friend and his wife got married back in april, my boyfriend has never had a problem with her before. He basically told my boyfriend to go home and chill out. I had to lead him to his car as he couldn't walk in a straight line. Humiliating.
So now he has no memory of any of this. Even though some of them confirmed it over text. He just was all "oh poo poo lol sounds crazy"
I really need him to grow up. It's to the point I dread any social gathering involving booze because 80% of the time something like this happens. Usually not THIS bad but still.
How do I get him to take it seriously when he can't even remember acting like an idiot? He imagines himself as the fun life-of-the-party guy, not the guy who flips his poo poo over nothing and ruins the night for other people. Our friends don't really help because they just keep letting it slide. So I'm the one who has to look like the crazy person who's taking life too seriously.
**tl;dr: My boyfriend behaves like a boorish oaf when drinking. His behavior on fourth of July was mortifying. He doesn't see exactly how bad it looks because all of our friends don't think it's a big deal either. Whenever I try to talk to him, he believes I'm just being too uptight.
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Jun 2, 2020 18:33
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- SilvergunSuperman
- Aug 7, 2010
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I'd say that extends well beyond boorish oaf.
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Jun 2, 2020 18:38
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- PostNouveau
- Sep 3, 2011
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VY till I die
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Grimey Drawer
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AITA for being mad that my husband didn't defend me?
Yesterday my husband and out kids went out for a drive. We ended up going to his friend's house because we were on that side of town. We live in the south and it gets VERY hot, so the obvious clothing choice is a T-shirt and shorts. Well long story short my husband's friend said I couldn't come into his house because I didn't respect myself because I was wearing short shorts (my husband told me this afterwards). He told me he just laughed it off AND CONTINUED WITH HIS VISIT. I had to sit outside in the car for about an hour with my kids and no air conditioning. My husband was laughing as he told the story and said it wasn't a big deal and I'm overreacting. AITA?
Edit 1: I'm not saying that this makes anything better but my kids were fine. They had plenty of cold water, things to eat and toys. They were playing and having fun.
lol they were doing drugs or something
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Jun 2, 2020 18:39
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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My girlfriend [F24] called men "failed abortions" and is now trying to walk it back [M23]
quote:My girlfriend has always had a hot feminist streak in her. Normally this doesn't bother me at all, I agree with her on most issues. I definitely don't have issues with feminism as a thing.
Yesterday we got into a fight because she saw an article about police violence and how it was mostly perpetrated by men. She said that men were "failed abortions" and we wouldn't have these problems if they were born women. I took offense to that and we ended up in an argument where she said that she clearly didn't mean all men and said I was being oversensitive. I felt like it definitely crossed a line, and it hit particularly hard because I've had some questioning of my gender identity and haven't always wanted to have been born a man (I've been open with her about this and she's usually supportive).
The argument simmered down after a day or so and now she's trying to walk the statement back and be apologetic for it. I'm having a really difficult time getting it out of my head and I'm not sure what to do.
Edit: this is getting a lot of traction and I just want to try to clarify some things. We've had the whole discussion about hyperbole and how people expressing frustration against a group doesn't necessarily mean they hate them (the "not all men" thing). I get that and I'm fine with it, and I don't feel this is really much about feminism. This just particularly hurts because of the gender identity stuff I've shared before and how unilateral of a statement it was, and she initially acted like I shouldn't have been offended. I just feel really sick about myself and my body and at the very least I think I need time to process things
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Jun 2, 2020 18:44
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- SoftNum
- Mar 31, 2011
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Like, they seem to have made a point of breaking almost every quarantine suggestion and are surprised the son doesn't want to expose their newborn.
"We did quarantine. Well, except for the golf games my husband NEEDED to play. Well, except for the gatherings with our friends. Well, except for the hair appointment I made literally the moment I could."
Oh and "I'm a retired medical provider so obviously I know better" seems pretty rich after reading all of that.
"He told me what we could do to make them more comfortable, and we literally continued doing the opposite... why won't he let me see my grandbaby."
Also "retired medical provider" makes me think like an untrained nursing home staffer... if she were an RN or MD she would've said.
From the emails and their responses it sounds more like her husband was stalking/harassing then an affair.
Yeah this one is written in such a way that it could be:
* It's completely innocent and she's looking for fire where there's barely smoke (I find it hard to believe that the dude's email was just conveniently open to emails 18 months old, and it just happened to be one with hearts in it.)
* He was strongly pursuing her and she feared for her career so she went along with it then eventually quit cause she was being harassed.
* They toyed with an affair but decided it wasn't worth it.
* They were fukkin like rabbits in the copier room.
(Before I get the goon business, there are plenty of reasons for not communicating over cataloged, monitored corporate emails that don't always extend to "fukkin in the copier room")
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Jun 2, 2020 18:44
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Apr 24, 2024 11:39
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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My girlfriend [F24] called men "failed abortions" and is now trying to walk it back [M23]
the only failed abortions here is his post history
AITA for drunkenly saying to my girlfriend that I'd trade her for a 12 pack of my favorite soda?
TIFU by drunkenly telling my girlfriend I'd trade her for a 12 pack of my favorite soda
My [21M] girlfriend [22F] won't let go of a stupid thing I drunkenly said
I [M22] spend hours comforting my insecure girlfriend [F21] only to be told I don't care about her
My girlfriend [F24] called men "failed abortions" and is now trying to walk it back [M23]
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Jun 2, 2020 18:49
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Jun 2, 2020 15:10
