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Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013

by Fluffdaddy

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Prob best that she didn't try to get into voodoo

I'm v sorry to say the Haitian quidditch mascot is a zombie and they let zombies loose at a game once, why? :wtfdude:

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Algol Star
Sep 6, 2010

Snape's a good character because of all his inconsistencies and conflicted motives, he feels like a real person. He's a piece of poo poo for the entire series who often does things for purely selfish reasons and yet undoubtedly does numerous good acts and is one of the most important people in bringing about Voldemort's downfall. The books avoid a cheesy redemption arc where he completely reverses his whole character and becomes a paragon of virtue suddenly but there is a definite change in his deepest views and morals from when he first goes to Dumbledore and his death and while his feelings for Lily are the catalyst for him switching sides for selfish reasons they don't explain the deeper change.

He's a guy from an abusive home, who's bullied from day 1 of school who gravitates towards strong fascist daddy as a way of making himself feel strong. He continues to be an awful person to everyone around him throughout but he's not a reluctant player being dragged along by lily's memory. Most of his stuff is in the background but when we do see it he's always taking an active role in the fight and does stuff like corralling the death eaters out of Hogwarts with as little damage as possible in book 6 that isn't anything to do with Harry. In his talks with Dumbledore he clearly hates what he has to do and we also see him tell phineus off for saying mudblood as well. He's forever turned away from Voldemort and fights to resist him for its own sake and Dumbledore trusts him as such whatever the initial trigger was.

Dumbledore (who helps set Grindelwald up, avoids facing him and then dedicates his life to fighting discrimination out of shame for his actions but never trusts himself with power and uses people like tools) and Malfoy ( wants to be fascist to impress daddy, is generally a piece of poo poo to people but when it comes down to it finds he doesn't have it in him to murder) are the other good, really gray characters. I'm pretty sure these are all accidental by Rowling tho as she's already trying to ruin Dumbledore's character so no doubt soon we'll find out that Snape was hexed to always be a dick to people and Malfoy grew up to be head of the Muggle welfare division.

SerialKilldeer
Apr 25, 2014

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

A Series of Unfortunate Events in audiobook form are all on youtube, or were last year.

Although you SHOULD give Daniel HandlerLemony Snicket money

:same: The ASoUE Netflix series is great too!

Mameluke posted:

I'm v sorry to say the Haitian quidditch mascot is a zombie and they let zombies loose at a game once, why? :wtfdude:

Wait what? It's been ages since I read the books but I don't remember anything like that.


Also,

https://twitter.com/gayrauder/status/1233814910234087425

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.

That's not enough.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Why do China and India share a school. One school for what we must assume is roughly half the worlds wizard population

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008
Sign me up for unnamed school ten

Barudak
May 7, 2007

India and China share a school because a century ago Hogwarts administrated remote campuses there that they had to pull out from due to wizarding turmoil and you made it this far into this sentence unsure if Im joking or not.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Barudak posted:

India and China share a school because a century ago Hogwarts administrated remote campuses there that they had to pull out from due to wizarding turmoil and you made it this far into this sentence unsure if Im joking or not.

China and India both just keep sending students to the American and British wizarding schools because degrees from there are much more prestigious.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
So when will JKR reveal that coronavirus was actually done by an evil wizard from School 10

Zetsubou-san
Jan 28, 2015

Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎
Wizard School #11, House Roopouch

SerialKilldeer
Apr 25, 2014

They probably play quidditch riding in the pouches of magical kangaroos instead on broomsticks

Paladin
Nov 26, 2004
You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.


SerialKilldeer posted:

They probably play quidditch riding in the pouches of magical kangaroos instead on broomsticks

It's all about avoiding the quidditch drop bears. They drop UP.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

This reminds me of when racists try and explain the differences between the races and there's like twleve very different subclasses of Europeans defined by very small geographic areas and then just like all of Africa and South America are a single homogenous group.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.
Do Quebec wizards use Chasse-Galeries instead of brooms?

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


MonsieurChoc posted:

Do Quebec wizards use Chasse-Galeries instead of brooms?

Quebec wizards don't learn anything because they have to attend the English-only American school for some reason

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

It's such a failure of the franchise that all of the extra material after the books intended to expand the franchise just makes it feel smaller.

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013

by Fluffdaddy
It turns out literally all wizarding society worldwide revolves around having attended private school

PeterWeller
Apr 21, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.

It's like Dragonlance!

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


None of the wizarding societies are actually fully sovreign states. Theyre all secret divisions of the muggle states. Why would so many wizard countries fully hand over control of their educational systems to Britain, the US, Russia, Germany or Brazil?

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.
I imagine there is lots of cool, varied magic in africa and that white wizards are always trying to build american english missionary type wizarding schools

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

SlothfulCobra posted:

It's such a failure of the franchise that all of the extra material after the books intended to expand the franchise just makes it feel smaller.

I've really liked the recent reclaiming of witches as actual serious subject matter in film because it reminds you that witches are supposed to be terrifying and alien and having set rules and strict heirarchies just makes it mundane. The broomstick scene in Gretel and Hansel feels so otherworldly and is exhilarating, Harry Potter getting a broomstick is as mundane as getting a bicycle.

Butternubs
Feb 15, 2012
Can wizards homeschool? what if you live in Mumbai and you don't want to send your kid to Beijing for school? from what we get in the books if you don't want your kid to go to Hogwarts the MoM probably just takes them away and sends you to azkaban for 50 years

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

There's the fact that every zone outside of Hogwarts covers at least double the population, and there's the fact that it's unclear what the franchise has to offer aside from the fantasy of going off to a magical school. What's significant about the setting?

The original Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them book (which was tiny) was all about all the sorts of crazy creatures could be inhabiting the magical world, but then the movies decided to be more about another evil wizard rising and falling.

I don't think there's been many elaborations of what wizard adults do out in the world, which'd be necessary for if they want to keep the people who grew up with Harry Potter, and they haven't really shown any signs of trying to court the target market of current-day kids and adolescents with the franchise's newer works, so I have no idea what they're really trying for. All I know is that it's the IP that WB has that I see the most merchandise for.

galagazombie
Oct 31, 2011

A silly little mouse!
These mega multi-continent schools do seem like a weird design choice. Like since Hogwarts was just the U.K why not just do the logical thing and say every country has a school too? Sure you'd get a little awkward when you have to decide if new countries like South Sudan or Kosovo presumably have to make a choice between making a new school or going to foreign ones, but it's less awkward and easier to explain than School Ten.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

i think it would make sense if these were satellite campuses or affiliates of hogwarts that popped up during the british empire, and there were a few hundred other magic schools that countries had created themselves.

so school 10 isn't for every indian/chinese wizard, it's just for a few select noble failsons who had good relationships with the brits.

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things
Look, just be glad that JKR didn't actually write out the history of the other schools.

The one besides Hogwarts she did write out is insanely racist and has 4 completely magically uneducated British people create a North American school because British magic is just better than Native American magic :britain:

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


God help me I decided to actually look this up:

quote:

The number of countries that have their own magical school is minuscule compared to those that do not. This is because the wizarding populations of most countries choose the option of home schooling. Occasionally, too, the magical community in a given country is tiny or far-flung and correspondence courses have been found a more cost-effective means of educating the young.

There are eleven long-established and prestigious wizarding schools worldwide, all of which are registered with the International Confederation of Wizards. Smaller and less well-regulated institutions have come and gone, are difficult to keep track of, and are rarely registered with the appropriate Ministry (in which case, I cannot vouch for the standard of education they might offer). Anyone wishing to know whether there is an approved magical school in their region should address an owl enquiry to the International Confederation of Wizards, Educational Office.


This is not a very good explanation and doesn't help things like there being no Spanish-speaking school at all despite it being the world's third biggest language or why greeks and balkans students would go to the Norwegian school instead of Russia or any of the other thousand problems that you have instead of just giving each country its own school but its something

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica
The real answer of course is that it doesn't matter and there never was any of that when she was writing the series and these international schools are just cruft she's wrung out to fuel the fires of her media empire.

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth
She's also a TERF, so there's that.

dordreff
Jul 16, 2013

galagazombie posted:

These mega multi-continent schools do seem like a weird design choice. Like since Hogwarts was just the U.K why not just do the logical thing and say every country has a school too? Sure you'd get a little awkward when you have to decide if new countries like South Sudan or Kosovo presumably have to make a choice between making a new school or going to foreign ones, but it's less awkward and easier to explain than School Ten.

i think mostly it is because jk rowling is really, really racist

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

Another cool thing about the map is that the schools that do have names instead of being #9 or whatever are all just “magic place” run through Google translate to a local language

Butternubs
Feb 15, 2012
So there's 1000 students at Hogwarts, assuming all British children ages 11-17 go to Hogwarts and wizards have the same population spread as the rest of the UK that means there's ~ 10000 wizards in the UK.

So ~ 0.15% of the population are Wizards.

The catchment area for "school 10" includes about 3.254 Billion people. If 0.15% of them are wizards that means there's 4.881 million wizards. If 11-17 year olds make up 10% of them (and it's probably a lot more in a lot of those countries) then School 10 must teach ~ 500,000 students. The biggest school in the muggle world has about 40,000 students...

Why didn't we get a story about the wizarding school with a population larger than Iceland?

Zetsubou-san
Jan 28, 2015

Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎
https://twitter.com/chaser/status/1269571405298798592

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

God help me I decided to actually look this up:


This is not a very good explanation and doesn't help things like there being no Spanish-speaking school at all despite it being the world's third biggest language or why greeks and balkans students would go to the Norwegian school instead of Russia or any of the other thousand problems that you have instead of just giving each country its own school but its something

I like how the international organization of wizards is still enormously british in character and that every country's magical community is run by a Ministry.

The entire wizard school apparatus recognized by Hogwarts being a legacy of imperialism is really the most logical explanation. It's like a combo of british imperialism and how evangelicals will set up a diocese for like, all of China to serve the miniscule amount of converts there.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Edgar Allen Ho posted:

I like how the international organization of wizards is still enormously british in character and that every country's magical community is run by a Ministry.

The entire wizard school apparatus recognized by Hogwarts being a legacy of imperialism is really the most logical explanation. It's like a combo of british imperialism and how evangelicals will set up a diocese for like, all of China to serve the miniscule amount of converts there.

I like this explanation. India, and China have multiple regional Wizard academies to deal with their huge wizard populations but the British international wizard ministry only recognizes a tiny rear end private school up in the Himalayas because they don't teach Mugwort potions or British wizarding history to a sufficient standard.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.
Chinese magic schools would probably be very Confucian.

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

I like this explanation. India, and China have multiple regional Wizard academies to deal with their huge wizard populations but the British international wizard ministry only recognizes a tiny rear end private school up in the Himalayas because they don't teach Mugwort potions or British wizarding history to a sufficient standard.

Oh come on now, you know that's not true.

That school would definitely be in Hong Kong or Singapore.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

What if Mao killed most of the wizards in his area so there's only a small remnant living in hiding.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

I like how the international organization of wizards is still enormously british in character and that every country's magical community is run by a Ministry.

The entire wizard school apparatus recognized by Hogwarts being a legacy of imperialism is really the most logical explanation. It's like a combo of british imperialism and how evangelicals will set up a diocese for like, all of China to serve the miniscule amount of converts there.

I mean that's basically what modern witches are, white people swearing that their hodgepodge of cultural appropriation that was made up less than a century ago is just as valid as the actually centuries- and millenia-old cultural practices they're stealing from.

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MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.
Only Brahmins get to go to Indian Magic School.

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