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OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Is he a repeat offender or something?

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AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

OwlFancier posted:

Is he a repeat offender or something?

He’s a fairly mediocre writer who has an annoying social media presence full of stuff like this. He calls his blog “Dangerous Minds” but the main danger is second-hand embarrassment.

For some reason, various people are blaming him personally for book publishers filing suit over the Internet Archive’s “emergency library,” as if publishers care what any writer who isn’t Stephen King or equivalent has to say.

Heath
Apr 30, 2008

🍂🎃🏞️💦

Listen: I want you to think of a flower. Something beautiful, abundant with white petals - a Grand Duke of Tuscany, a precious thing, grows just outside of my window this time of year, and as I see it, I think of this. If you don't know what it looks like and must check a photo, I want you to take the flower into your mind's hands and bring it to your mind's eye. Look deep into it, such that you can nearly feel the sensation of petals on your cheek. Ease yourself deeper still into its center, the shy inner layers made vanilla white where they layer together at the heart of the blossom.

The comparison of the vulva to a flower is perhaps a bit trite, as it is not a difficult one to make, and comes quite naturally to those who want to speak poetically about them. The penis has no such elegant a referent in anything as beautiful as, for example, a lotus flower, and its incarnation in metaphor tends toward the more rigidly (ha) mechanical: pistols and cigars famously after Freud, and more recently, a multistage rocket ship. Let me tell you something: when I apply that same deep inspection you gave to your mental flower to mental genitals, they begin to dissolve into their component perceptual sensations - the pink of the flesh, their bumps and knots, fluids pooling and casting a glossy shine like rain on a streetlamp, every branching artery and dark recess, and I become afraid as the human skin melts away and I conceive only of the rhythmic slapping of something I can only describe as "offal."

Disclaimer: this has been an attempt to rewrite his garbage for fun in a slightly more dignified voice, and the views expressed above are in line with my interpretation of the source material, and should be read as such and do not reflect the views of the author, who does not have such a terrifying relationship with sexuality

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Re Roald Dahl being a racist:

In the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory book, the Oompaloompas were dark skinned pygmies from "Oompaloompaland" who were "rescued" by Willy Wonka to become slaves in his chocolate factory. And were grateful to their white master for taking them from such a horrible place and allowing them to work for him for free in a factory.

Considering he grew up as an immigrant in pre-war Britain, you might think he would know a little bit about racism. But considering he is also a posh, light skinned, public school educated toff, you can also understand why he would have such views about "the darkies".

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


All I learned from this is that Chuck's junk is warty

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/sarmadillotank/status/1272895429722718209?s=21

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
"Hasn't washed in several years" translates to "is homeless."

Dick Burglar
Mar 6, 2006
No, I’m pretty sure it means an obese person with a deep belly button and poor hygiene practices.

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Dick Burglar posted:

No, I’m pretty sure it means an obese person with a deep belly button and poor hygiene practices.

Gonna threaten the UN with my goonbod and poor oral health, I want one trillion dollars or I spit in my bellybutton and smear it on the water supply.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

:golfclap: and also some :kiss:

That aside, goddamn people. Is that at a food court?

Maybe Ikea? I got Ikea vibes.

Weldon Pemberton
May 19, 2012


Is he literally just saying "I'm not a fan of close-up shots in porn" or is there some sort of point?

computer angel
Sep 9, 2008

Make it a double.

No one else is saying it!

Bitch no one else is saying it because everyone's aware that skin is elastic.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019


Implicitly stating that all the junk they look at has genital warts is probably not how his wife wanted the day to go.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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Lol if you don’t watch porn for the money shot of a close up of a mans face dripping with sweat as he grimaces like he’s in the middle of a rectal exam

Relyssa
Jul 29, 2012



oldpainless posted:

Lol if you don’t watch porn for the money shot of a close up of a mans face dripping with sweat as he grimaces like he’s in the middle of a rectal exam

more like oldjizzless

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

OwlFancier posted:

Given his view that "hitler must have had a reason for going after the jews" it's also a bit.. uhhhhhhhh...

Only if you think those people look Jewish....

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Dick Burglar posted:

No, I’m pretty sure it means an obese person with a deep belly button and poor hygiene practices.

That's one deeeeeeep bully button then. You'd think the fat person would have scraped most of the interesting bacteria out while digging around in it looking for those elusive Cheetos pellets that managed to escape as they poured the remains of the party sized bag into their maw.

Slippery
May 16, 2004


Muscles Boxcar

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Yeah, it's pretty awful.

Ugh I read some stuff about it and wtf :(

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Benny Harvey posted:

Only if you think those people look Jewish....

I was thinking more it looks a bit... close to antisemitic caricatures but quentin blake did the illustrations, not dahl so I guess it probably isn't intentional. Just seems weird given dahl's views.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

OwlFancier posted:

I was thinking more it looks a bit... close to antisemitic caricatures but quentin blake did the illustrations, not dahl so I guess it probably isn't intentional. Just seems weird given dahl's views.

I assume it's a representation of a typical fairy tale witch but I'm not sure THAT isn't itself based in anti-semitic caricature.

Runcible Cat
May 28, 2007

Ignoring this post

Resting Lich Face posted:

I assume it's a representation of a typical fairy tale witch but I'm not sure THAT isn't itself based in anti-semitic caricature.

Very probably. I've got a couple of fairytale collections I picked up cheap because they had nice Arthur Rackham illustrations. Then I read them and found out where modern translations have "merchants" these versions have "Jews".

Could well have other nasty stuff in but I stopped reading after that.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004


lmfao

Blendy
Jun 18, 2007

She thinks I'm a haughty!

Benny Harvey posted:

Only if you think those people look Jewish....

I don't know that those drawings were meant to be antisemitic but Dahl was very antisemitic. For example, this quote of his is pretty telling "I am certainly anti-Israel, and I have become anti-Semitic.” There's an episode of The Dead Authors Podcast where Ben Schwartz is on as a guest acting as Dahl where he learns on stage that Dahl had been an anti-Semite, weird time to learn that fact.

Gargamel Gibson
Apr 24, 2014

BrigadierSensible posted:

Considering he grew up as an immigrant in pre-war Britain, you might think he would know a little bit about racism.

Brits don't tend to be all that racist toward Norwegians.

mrpwase
Apr 21, 2010

I HAVE GREAT AVATAR IDEAS
For the Many, Not the Few


Gargamel Gibson posted:

Brits don't tend to be all that racist toward Norwegians.

Brits, nah. Anglo-Saxons on the other hand

UncleButts
Sep 25, 2003

pure of heart
dumb of ass
AUG thought that I just had:

When you're pooping and there's a fly buzzing around nearby, does anyone else get super paranoid that it's going to land on your butthole?

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

UncleButts posted:

AUG thought that I just had:

When you're pooping and there's a fly buzzing around nearby, does anyone else get super paranoid that it's going to land on your butthole?

Sort of, but then I remember I can clench and capture the fly in order to absorb its nutrients.

UncleButts
Sep 25, 2003

pure of heart
dumb of ass

Screaming Idiot posted:

Sort of, but then I remember I can clench and capture the fly in order to absorb its nutrients.

anus flytrap

TotalLossBrain
Oct 20, 2010

Hier graben!

Screaming Idiot posted:

Sort of, but then I remember I can clench and capture the fly in order to absorb its nutrients.

does this work with small mammals or maybe shellfish?

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

TotalLossBrain posted:

does this work with small mammals or maybe shellfish?

With the former, yes, I call it the Gere Maneuver.

UncleButts posted:

anus flytrap

Perfection.

Safety Biscuits
Oct 21, 2010

Gargamel Gibson posted:

Brits don't tend to be all that racist toward Norwegians.

You're underestimating the hellhole that was the public school system at the time.

Dick Burglar
Mar 6, 2006

UncleButts posted:

AUG thought that I just had:

When you're pooping and there's a fly buzzing around nearby, does anyone else get super paranoid that it's going to land on your butthole?

No, but if there's a mosquito in the bathroom while I'm taking a poo poo I have similarly paranoid thoughts about getting bitten on the b-hole.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Dick Burglar posted:

No, but if there's a mosquito in the bathroom while I'm taking a poo poo I have similarly paranoid thoughts about getting bitten on the b-hole.

Free lip fillers for your butthole? Sign me up

ReidRansom
Oct 25, 2004


Dick Burglar posted:

No, but if there's a mosquito in the bathroom while I'm taking a poo poo I have similarly paranoid thoughts about getting bitten on the b-hole.

Happened to me right on the taint. Fortunately it was a normal small one and not some huge tiger mosquito, so it wasn't horrible. Almost felt bad for the mosquito, really.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.
In 2020 even the mosquitos eat rear end.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!

Safety Biscuits posted:

You're underestimating the hellhole that was the public school system at the time.

AUG: You're underestimating my hellhole

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.


???????????????? What's changed

Runcible Cat
May 28, 2007

Ignoring this post

Safety Biscuits posted:

You're underestimating the hellhole that was the public school system at the time.

Couldn't your dad spell Ronald hur hur hur

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Also by public school do you mean the american version of public school as in school funded by the state, or do you mean the british meaning of public school which is a private school usually with expensive fees and limited enrolment.

Both, are of course, very bad, but for different reasons. There is probably a lot less sexual assault going on in the state funded UK schools, for example.

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Safety Biscuits
Oct 21, 2010

OwlFancier posted:

Also by public school do you mean the american version of public school as in school funded by the state, or do you mean the british meaning of public school which is a private school usually with expensive fees and limited enrolment.

Both, are of course, very bad, but for different reasons. There is probably a lot less sexual assault going on in the state funded UK schools, for example.

Dahl went to Repton.

T-man posted:

???????????????? What's changed

These days you have to pay to get caned.

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