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My toddler loves yogurt tubes, but he hasn't figured out how to get the last little bit out. He hasn't really learned to squeeze it from the bottom to top (like a tube of toothpaste) when there isn't much left in there. So when he can't get any more out, he hands me the tube asking "daddy, help". Then he stands there patiently sucking the open end while I slowly run my pinched fingers up the shaft of the tube. Eventually a sudden rush of yogurt fills his mouth and he swallows it. Once he's satisfied that he's had it all, he says "thank you daddy" and carries on with his day. It's really innocent and adorable, and I'm glad he's learning manners at such an early age. But I'm concerned that the whole activity is homoerotic, and I'm not really comfortable doing this anymore. I've tried showing him how to do it himself, but he doesn't really have the patience yet, and showing him how it's done somehow seems worse. Help me goons. Should I be worried? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
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Jul 2, 2020 04:38
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 03:17 |
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Jul 2, 2020 04:42
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Well this post was a ride I never consented to taking
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Jul 2, 2020 04:43
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Not your son, not your problem
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Jul 2, 2020 04:44
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Present him the choice of a ball or a computer screen with the forums open on a browser
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Jul 2, 2020 04:46
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Wowee that's a blast from the past. Ron Darling posted:Well this post was a ride I never consented to taking Hey man, I never asked for this either.
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Jul 2, 2020 04:48
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHf0aRpiMfI
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Jul 2, 2020 04:49
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Please just get him tubs of yogurt from now on
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Jul 2, 2020 04:49
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I don't think you're making him gay, but he is definitely going to be unnerved if he recalls this during puberty
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Jul 2, 2020 04:50
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Big Beef City posted:Not your son, not your problem Are you saying that I should disown my son? Or that are children never really are our own, and they'll find their own path in life? DeadFatDuckFat posted:Present him the choice of a ball or a computer screen with the forums open on a browser He didn't do either. He gave me the remote and demanded I put on "Paw Patrol". Jawdins posted:Please just get him tubs of yogurt from now on I think I like where this is going.
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Jul 2, 2020 04:53
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I was never read a book as a child, but I asked for a subscription and was granted one. Crap, I have no advice. My best teacher was hot in 3rd grade and I accidentally pissed myself in there once. Some things you don't forget.
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Jul 2, 2020 04:53
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Jawdins posted:Please just get him tubs of yogurt from now on This is the correct answer. When he's almost done with the tub of yogurt, he can get the last little bit by sticking his mouth and chin into the tub and licking it out as God intended.
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Jul 2, 2020 04:56
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Your son is already gay if he likes yogurt. 
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Jul 2, 2020 04:59
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Daikloktos posted:I don't think you're making him gay, but he is definitely going to be unnerved if he recalls this during puberty Man puberty is already a confusing time. I don't want to make it harder for the poor guy.  Zeluth posted:I was never read a book as a child, but I asked for a subscription and was granted one. I barely remember my third grade teacher. Actually grade 3 was a pretty forgettable time. For some reason I always remember it being dark outside, even though logically that would be absurd.
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Jul 2, 2020 04:59
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mom and dad fight a lot posted:He didn't do either. He gave me the remote and demanded I put on "Paw Patrol". He chose the demon way in hell 
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Jul 2, 2020 05:00
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Your son is already gay if he likes yogurt. Oh shi 
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Jul 2, 2020 05:01
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LabyaMynora posted:This is the correct answer. Right and please let your young man know that while you are squeezing out the last bits of the remaining empty tubes (until you replace them with tubs) that it is the Lord that is filling the empty space as you squeeze it out. This is very important to raising a moral child.
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Jul 2, 2020 05:03
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LabyaMynora posted:When he's almost done with the tub of yogurt, he can get the last little bit by sticking his mouth and chin into the tub and licking it out as God intended. Jawdins posted:Right and please let your young man know that while you are squeezing out the last bits of the remaining empty tubes (until you replace them with tubs) that it is the Lord that is filling the empty space as you squeeze it out. This is very important to raising a moral child. Isaiah 7:15: He shall eat curds and honey when he knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good. ClamdestineBoyster posted:Your son is already gay if he likes yogurt. Does this go for women too? Because it would explain a few things about my ex-wife.
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Jul 2, 2020 05:11
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The bacteria in yogurt actually turns people gay. It's been confirmed 100%.
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Jul 2, 2020 05:41
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Haha As I read OP I'm like no No WAY Plus your username is the best. You should write for the new front page imo
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Jul 2, 2020 05:46
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someones gotta do it
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Jul 2, 2020 05:49
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:The bacteria in yogurt actually turns people gay. It's been confirmed 100%. I honestly believe this more than the "probiotic" poo poo that the marketing departments keep insisting on.
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Jul 2, 2020 06:03
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either your child with choose to be gay or not but theres nothing you can do about it
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Jul 2, 2020 06:04
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I never ate yogurt (or bananas, or other homoerotic food) and actually had an aversion to them when young, and I turned out gay as poo poo so, you never know. edit: checkbox poll, clicked all options second edit: Also Goku and Gohan never did a fusion dance they were father and son and since the dance was an allegory for homosexuality that would be pretty f. gross.. Goku did the fusion dance with VEGETA and it goTEN who did the fusion dance with TRUNKS not goHAN... GEEZ DAD STOP EMBARRASSING ME kaworu fucked around with this message at 06:13 on Jul 2, 2020 |
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Jul 2, 2020 06:09
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Your son was always gay, OP Stop trying to take credit for things you didn't do
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Jul 2, 2020 06:14
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I forgot to mention that these yogurt tubes are frozen like popsicles. I don't know if that helps our analysis.numberoneposter posted:either your child with choose to be gay or not I'll happily accept him either way, but I don't want to be traumatizing him by our yogurt practices. Actually the more I think about it, we get strange looks in public when we do this. For some reason the old ladies smile and nod, though.
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Jul 2, 2020 06:20
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Maybe you're turning him bi OP, setting him up to spread wings you were unwilling to flap.
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Jul 2, 2020 06:21
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kaworu posted:Very helpful post You know the more I think about it, I loved the poo poo out of hotdogs, and I only sucked a guy's dick once. I'm not sure it matters how phallic the foods are. It's more so the practice of my son begging for yogurt, and me squirting it into to his mouth by massaging a tube while he calls me "daddy". Maybe it's just a "me" problem. Thanks for the DBZ knowledgebomb. Checkbox polls should be the only polls.
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Jul 2, 2020 06:26
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MODS GAS THREAD OPEN FYAD BACK THIS IS A SICKNESS
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Jul 2, 2020 06:28
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Devils Affricate posted:Your son was always gay, OP SilvergunSuperman posted:Maybe you're turning him bi OP, setting him up to spread wings you were unwilling to flap. This is the nature vs. nurture argument, and actually a really good thing to bring up. Was my son born gay, and that's why he's so comfortable being fed this way? Or do you discover gayness from your upbringing? When did you choose to be straight?
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Jul 2, 2020 06:31
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AOCs Pink Pearl posted:MODS GAS THREAD OPEN FYAD BACK THIS IS A SICKNESS Your last three probations were for white noise. You're calling the kettle black from inside a glass house you moron.
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Jul 2, 2020 06:45
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mom and dad fight a lot posted:When did you choose to be straight?  Looking at this, it might have been a coin flip tbh.
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Jul 2, 2020 06:50
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You're not turning him gay OP. But you are giving him ammunition to blackmail you into an early retirement home by claiming that his "Dad helped squirt my special yogurt into my mouth". Better counter-sue your child now.
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Jul 2, 2020 07:18
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Stop squirting special yogurt into his mouth, you depraved fucker.
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Jul 2, 2020 07:40
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SilvergunSuperman posted:
Dude, I looooove Jennifer Connelly but seriously, Bowie was right there bro. How did you miss that? Anyway OP what you're describing isn't homoerotic because your son is a child. You're thinking of pedophilia and that is definitely a "you" problem.
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Jul 2, 2020 07:46
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who among us does not say "thank you daddy" after they swallow your toddler isnt gonna fuckin remember any of this, OP
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Jul 2, 2020 07:50
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Do you not want him to be gay?
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Jul 2, 2020 08:51
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In any case, no, OP, straight males are perfectly capable of sucking dicks, too. I should know, I pay them to do it on the regular. Expensive habit, that.
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Jul 2, 2020 08:53
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what if this thread is turning all the posters gay
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Jul 2, 2020 09:04
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 03:17 |
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Ugh, OP I don't even know where to start with you. Seriously, how can someone be so it ignorant in 2020? Gohan never did the fusion dance you absolute fool, you bumbling buffoon, you ninny! And furthermore, Goku only ever fused with his life partner Vegeta and only did the fusion dance in one of the movies WHICH IS TOTALLY NOT CANON. SERIOUSLY SMDH RN Edit: beaten to the punchline.
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Jul 2, 2020 09:23
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