(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Random rear end in a top hat posted:Just in case SA suddenly vanishes into the ether, I just wanted to thank everyone in this thread for being so wonderful. I only posted here once or twice, but it was during a pretty rough patch (for me, probably a breeze by most people's standards) and your kind words helped me get through it. I'm personally doing much better now, I've found a combo of meds that keep my panic disorder pretty well suppressed, and I've actually felt pretty darn good the last two weeks, which isn't something I'm used to! I hope everyone in this thread can feel what I feel right now, the sudden realization that you feel upbeat and positive for the first time in a long time. You all deserve it! Another mental health thread success story 
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Jun 25, 2020 16:34
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hello friends, after screaming into the void that is this thread my therapist finally got back to me. she got a "real job" (my quotes) because insurance was not paying her private practice as expected. I'm genuinely feeling weird and abandoned about it and I know that is a lot of selfishness on my part. with that said, she's gonna write my VA nexus letter. I've also asked my ex to write a letter kinda laying out how I lost it. miserable, but the VA likes it. I hope everyone that posts here is doing the best that they can. we're all on a journey and I believe in you. we will make it.
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Jun 28, 2020 05:51
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Consummate Professional posted:I hope everyone that posts here is doing the best that they can. we're all on a journey and I believe in you. we will make it. What a beautiful sentiment. Thank you.
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Jun 28, 2020 19:22
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Welp, officially 7 days without Latuda+Methylfolate. I've come off whatever initial high I was feeling (it was a good two weeks!) and now having obsessive thoughts and waves of anxiety. Hoping it's more to do with withdrawal than anything. I'm supposed to avoid mood-altering substances for at least 30 more days while I chart my mood and events, but I took a tiny baby dose of Xanax yesterday because I felt like I was on the verge of another panic attack. I'm just gonna be honest about it and not feel guilty. This is about survival. P.S. Thanks for having a space where I can E/N it up a little, I hope barging in and occasionally vomiting words isn't an issue  yall are good people
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Jun 29, 2020 18:31
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Wow Reddit really did delete chapo trap house. If SA went down with Rich (still possible) I'd have nowhere left to read/post. Really picked a good time to move countries and obliterate my friend network. UnfortunateSexFart has issued a correction as of 00:40 on Jun 30, 2020 |
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Jun 29, 2020 23:35
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:Wow Reddit really did delete chap trap house. If SA went down with Rich (still possible) I'd have nowhere left to read/post. Yo the cspam off-site is good ur posting needs are covered
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Jun 29, 2020 23:50
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novaSphere posted:Welp, officially 7 days without Latuda+Methylfolate. I've come off whatever initial high I was feeling (it was a good two weeks!) and now having obsessive thoughts and waves of anxiety. Hoping it's more to do with withdrawal than anything. I'm supposed to avoid mood-altering substances for at least 30 more days while I chart my mood and events, but I took a tiny baby dose of Xanax yesterday because I felt like I was on the verge of another panic attack. I'm just gonna be honest about it and not feel guilty. This is about survival. I'm pretty sure your p-doc would rather your brain not melt than get 100% scientific results. Like you said, just note it on your chart and keep on keepin' on. quote:P.S. Thanks for having a space where I can E/N it up a little, I hope barging in and occasionally vomiting words isn't an issue 
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Jun 30, 2020 00:01
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I'm a privileged rear end in a top hat but I don't feel like it. I'm constantly afraid that disaster will befall me and I have a thesis paper due this year. I want to flee the country but the borders are closed. I have a sister who is chronically mentally ill and completely breaking down. I feel guilty for being so miserable and wasting so much time. My s/o is thinking of moving abroad for international development work. I feel like I have no future and that the planet has no future.
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Jun 30, 2020 06:56
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Yossarian-22 posted:I'm a privileged rear end in a top hat but I don't feel like it. I'm constantly afraid that disaster will befall me and I have a thesis paper due this year. I want to flee the country but the borders are closed. I have a sister who is chronically mentally ill and completely breaking down. I feel guilty for being so miserable and wasting so much time. My s/o is thinking of moving abroad for international development work. I feel like I have no future and that the planet has no future. Isn't it grand when anxiety morphs into depression, yay! I kid but there are some deep wounds here my friend. Are you able to find a therapist? PM me if you need.
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Jun 30, 2020 08:08
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err has issued a correction as of 00:36 on Jul 1, 2020 |
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Jun 30, 2020 09:09
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gently caress people who drive large sUVs with dark tinted windows, when I got raided by the DEA 6 of those pulled up on me in my front yard inches away and a swat team jumped out of them and a lot of bad things happened two of them happened to be driving on my street one behind the other and the one in front suddenly pulled into my driveway and it was just them tu rning around but i instantaneously freaked out and started to tremble my thoughts were racing and my heart was racing and i immediately thought I was about to get raided again even though I do not sell drugs anymore and haven't for many years like just drive a normal car you loving dipshit
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Jul 1, 2020 01:55
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empty whippet box posted:gently caress people who drive large sUVs with dark tinted windows, when I got raided by the DEA 6 of those pulled up on me in my front yard inches away and a swat team jumped out of them and a lot of bad things happened Dude that sucks and I can see how it would be a triggering event for you. I hope you're in a better mental place now then when it happened. We're here if you need to vent more.
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Jul 1, 2020 01:57
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Zil posted:Dude that sucks and I can see how it would be a triggering event for you. I hope you're in a better mental place now then when it happened. thanks, it's incredibly annoying that something so mundane could instantaneously destroy my mood and sense of well being, it didn't last long but it still shook me and killed my vibes for a few hours. wasn't even on my radar of 'things that might gently caress me up'
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Jul 1, 2020 02:08
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snip
Crusty Nutsack has issued a correction as of 16:14 on Sep 29, 2021 |
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Jul 1, 2020 02:19
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I finally suspended my gym membership. Should have done this a long time ago. I ended up breaking down to my parents the other day. I was already a recluse before the pandemic and was taking steps to open up. Now I feel like it's too late. I am 33, never had any relationship, never travelled by myself, never attended any social events. Now I probably never will. All my mom says is "at least you have a job, everything else is secondary". A job I hate and might not have for much longer since it's in an industry under threat and our project is going badly. What hope do I have? I can't go on a "virtual day" because no one ever replies to me. My life is work, home, work, home, eating take out for every meal since I have no energy to cook, my house is filthy. I am on Wellbutrin and that gives me no energy. Help.
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Jul 1, 2020 10:23
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I've been doing some research into CPTSD and developmental trauma, I'm curious if anyone here has any knowledge or experiences with treatment they can share. Personally, it seems to make a lot of sense, of course I can't diagnose myself (from what I understand neither is a formal diagnosis anyway, there are just other similar/related conditions that seem distinct to these that don't quite fit me, like PTSD or BPD). I've been seeing a therapist the past year and it's been helpful generally but I keep having the sense we're still hitting the surface on a lot of my issues, thinking of things in terms of trauma seems to make more sense to me but it's not a way my therapist has approached it, and I'm not sure if she has considered it or not. That's a conversation I need to have with her, I'm just curious if anyone here has had experience with either CPTSD or developmental trauma, how people navigate it generally and with treatment.
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Jul 1, 2020 22:02
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ricecult posted:I've been doing some research into CPTSD and developmental trauma, I'm curious if anyone here has any knowledge or experiences with treatment they can share. Personally, it seems to make a lot of sense, of course I can't diagnose myself (from what I understand neither is a formal diagnosis anyway, there are just other similar/related conditions that seem distinct to these that don't quite fit me, like PTSD or BPD). I've been seeing a therapist the past year and it's been helpful generally but I keep having the sense we're still hitting the surface on a lot of my issues, thinking of things in terms of trauma seems to make more sense to me but it's not a way my therapist has approached it, and I'm not sure if she has considered it or not. That's a conversation I need to have with her, I'm just curious if anyone here has had experience with either CPTSD or developmental trauma, how people navigate it generally and with treatment. There's a tendency to try to medicalize everything in mental health and sort things into orderly diagnoses, but trauma isn't like being positive or negative for diabetes. What your experiences were, how they affected you, and what it will look like as you try to re-integrate those traumatized and dissociated parts are going to be particular to you. Talking about this with your therapist is a really good place to start.
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Jul 2, 2020 01:06
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Mechafunkzilla posted:There's a tendency to try to medicalize everything in mental health and sort things into orderly diagnoses, but trauma isn't like being positive or negative for diabetes. What your experiences were, how they affected you, and what it will look like as you try to re-integrate those traumatized and dissociated parts are going to be particular to you. Talking about this with your therapist is a really good place to start. Yeah, it's easy to get sucked into a want of "certainty" that would be in diagnoses, which are really constructs to try to understand things anyway, I guess part of why I'm thinking of it in those terms though is I want to know if anyone has had any particular experiences, good or bad, with treatments that are specific for it. Developmental trauma (DTD) in particular is tricky because it occurs when you are pre-verbal and wouldn't remember it, you can only know because it's biographical, and a lot of people just don't know, so treatments for it seem to be mostly around reviving whatever healthy sense of attachment and security was lost. CPTSD treatment seems to have a similar philosophy, but with different emphasis. I know that therapy for me has been helpful because my therapist gives me space to talk and explore my thoughts/feels, asks helpful questions, but I'm wondering if it's going the right direction, or if this is a better direction, or if I'm looking for more problems for me to have, or if I'm getting to the bottom of things.
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Jul 2, 2020 01:24
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Hooo boy. Been feeling kind of "out of it" today and about an hour and a half ago had a strange episode of feeling really disoriented while on a walk. It felt like I was tripping, minus any hallucinations. Called my PCP and therapist and have an appointment tomorrow just in case it's something physical. I'm fine right now, but scared. Haven't been sleeping well this week either. I want to catch a break, dammit.
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Jul 2, 2020 02:23
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ricecult posted:Yeah, it's easy to get sucked into a want of "certainty" that would be in diagnoses, which are really constructs to try to understand things anyway, I guess part of why I'm thinking of it in those terms though is I want to know if anyone has had any particular experiences, good or bad, with treatments that are specific for it. Developmental trauma (DTD) in particular is tricky because it occurs when you are pre-verbal and wouldn't remember it, you can only know because it's biographical, and a lot of people just don't know, so treatments for it seem to be mostly around reviving whatever healthy sense of attachment and security was lost. CPTSD treatment seems to have a similar philosophy, but with different emphasis. I know that therapy for me has been helpful because my therapist gives me space to talk and explore my thoughts/feels, asks helpful questions, but I'm wondering if it's going the right direction, or if this is a better direction, or if I'm looking for more problems for me to have, or if I'm getting to the bottom of things. It kind of depends on what you're looking for. If it's symptom reduction, trauma-specific interventions like EMDR, AEDP and somatic experiencing have helped many people, and you don't need to have concrete memories to be trying to reprocess -- therapists can work through affect and how trauma manifests in present experience. If you're looking to gain a better understanding of how early experience shaped your sense of self and how you navigate the world -- constructing that narrative through what emerges in daily living, in fantasy, in relationships, and in treatment with your therapist -- you're moving into the realm of psychoanalysis, so you might consider working with someone who is analytically trained. The question of how to access and work with preverbal or preoedipal trauma, in which you are trying to find words to describe and think about experiences which predate language and one's capacity to think and so can only exist in the body as a kind of unformed, ineffable presence, is a very old one in the field of therapy. There's certainly no shortage of writing on it. Mechafunkzilla has issued a correction as of 02:28 on Jul 2, 2020 |
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Jul 2, 2020 02:23
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Trying to come back into the thread and get some sense of everyone else, that I'm not the only one going through this. I've been having to take extended breaks because when posters go on about how more Trump is inevitable, its been ripping at the only thing keeping me going. I've been fine feeling like in the worst case, things end for me in November one way or another, with no plans just no desire to experience hell. Keeping any hope has been very hard, but its like one thread I can hold on to. Somehow the stay at home isn't so bad... but the world around just seems to push the nihilism in constantly. Very tired of being constantly furious at the idiots all around this city.
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Jul 2, 2020 04:33
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Things are not great right now. I'm trying to strong together as many good days as I can, and right now my record is... Three. For the last two months. Just three. I mean, I'm glad because some people are getting zero, but still. I don't know what's changed but I've just stopped wanting to do the things I love. They seem trite and boring. I don't know why, but I would like to have my joy of living back pls tia. It's not like I had a lot but what I did have was pretty nice.
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Jul 2, 2020 21:52
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Chokes McGee posted:Things are not great right now. I'm trying to strong together as many good days as I can, and right now my record is... Three. For the last two months. Just three. There's a fun word for this very common symptom of depression -- anhedonia. Hopefully you're talking to someone about it.
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Jul 2, 2020 22:06
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Okan170 posted:Trying to come back into the thread and get some sense of everyone else, that I'm not the only one going through this. I've been having to take extended breaks because when posters go on about how more Trump is inevitable, its been ripping at the only thing keeping me going. I've been fine feeling like in the worst case, things end for me in November one way or another, with no plans just no desire to experience hell. Keeping any hope has been very hard, but its like one thread I can hold on to. Somehow the stay at home isn't so bad... but the world around just seems to push the nihilism in constantly. Very tired of being constantly furious at the idiots all around this city. I don't want to bring discussions about this into this thread, but I think it is probably a good idea to have some coping tools that don't rely on hoping that joe biden is going to make things better one day. As apocalyptic as things may look what with both presidential candidates being what they are, you will be OK even if trump does win again. There will be some aspects of life that will continue to get shittier after november regardless of which direction they get shittier, probably most things. But that doesn't mean that life won't be worth living, and it doesn't mean there won't be joy to be found in the world. I understand that it's hard and it's a brutal and lovely reality we're all being subjected to. you're not alone in feeling the way you do at all. Life is a constant struggle, and you're in no way wrong for having a hard time with how lovely it is sometimes. I'm also constantly, unendingly angry at how loving stupid and selfish and assholish human beings are 100% of the time and that infringes on every aspect of my life all the time, and I deal with that by being conscious about the things I do enjoy and reminding myself that I enjoy them and that despite how lovely things are I still have fun and enjoy things and have good times. I don't know if that's useful for you, I know how convoluted this all sounds but it's the world we live in, I guess. Keep on keepin on, I know how hard it is, and I see you, and I have respect for your perseverance in the face of it all. Chokes McGee posted:Things are not great right now. I'm trying to strong together as many good days as I can, and right now my record is... Three. For the last two months. Just three. that's three more than zero my dude. You're fighting back against it, and I love you for it, and your fight is tough and you're a goddamn superhero for clawing back 3 of those days from the forces of bullshit. Great job, and good luck in wresting more days of joy away from the bullshit
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Jul 2, 2020 22:52
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empty whippet box posted:. As apocalyptic as things may look what with both presidential candidates being what they are, you will be OK even if trump does win again. There will be some aspects of life that will continue to get shittier after november regardless of which direction they get shittier, probably most things. But that doesn't mean that life won't be worth living, and it doesn't mean there won't be joy to be found in the world. I understand that it's hard and it's a brutal and lovely reality we're all being subjected to. you're not alone in feeling the way you do at all. Im actually pretty much at peace with it. I appreciate what youre trying to say but its not okay if he wins again, Ive done a good amount in my life that Im proud of and dont really want to hang around to watch it all be utterly destroyed with no hope if we get 4 more years. I cant follow the posters who see no difference into feeling like theres already no difference, and itd be the same. I wont do that, not for everything, not more than I already have. I dont even have anything that would make it worth sticking it out either and am only getting more isolated, but its fine. I suppose I could exist for a little while longer for the sake of my folks but even in that case, its not watching everything I cared about be ruined forever and have to just exist for the sake of others isnt a life. Not to mention climate change, I dont think anyone should be forced to live through an apocalypse if they dont want to. Not even looking at Biden as averting apocalypse or fixing much of anything, just stopping the active destruction of everything that matters. There are many worlds Id be ok living in, but not the one with more Trump. I used to feel really distressed about this, but I think its overall something Ive come to terms with. Heck I cant even legally own a gun for defense due out having a MMJ card. Best case , I might have nothing to worry about, and chances seem better than even a few months ago about it. Okan170 has issued a correction as of 01:20 on Jul 3, 2020 |
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Jul 3, 2020 01:15
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Mechafunkzilla posted:There's a fun word for this very common symptom of depression -- anhedonia. Hopefully you're talking to someone about it. Yeah. My psychologist and I are working on it. The gabapentin helps, too. It's just a mess, and at least I have days now where I can enjoy things. One step at a time, I suppose. empty whippet box posted:that's three more than zero my dude. You're fighting back against it, and I love you for it, and your fight is tough and you're a goddamn superhero for clawing back 3 of those days from the forces of bullshit. Great job, and good luck in wresting more days of joy away from the bullshit Thanks  Okan170 posted:There are many worlds I’d be ok living in, but not the one with more Trump. I used to feel really distressed about this, but I think its overall something I’ve come to terms with. Heck I can’t even legally own a gun for defense due out having a MMJ card. Best case , I might have nothing to worry about, and chances seem better than even a few months ago about it. I'm sure as hell not putting money on it, but with the roni sticking around and the economy continuing to crater, Trump could very easily lose to someone who isn't even actively campaigning. 
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Jul 3, 2020 04:11
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hey thread. long time, no see. i'm not doing well. thought i'd be meeting someone tonight, but looks like i got stood up. not the first time that has happened, pretty sure it won't be the loving last -- my ugly rear end is used to being left on read, but for some reason this time it hurt a little more than usual. can't put my finger on why, other than the rejections have been frequent and unrelenting of late -- not just in a romantic sense but professional and personal fronts as well. it sucks, and here lately it feels like there's no end on the horizon.
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Jul 3, 2020 07:40
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Oof, things have not been good lately. My own complexes and childhood attachment wounds have created a really awesome imposter syndrome regarding my own mental health and seeing clients. Luckily I do know it's just a complex and I'm working on all of this with my own therapist but it is of course still difficult. Reckful's death this week was also super super painful and made me miss seeing my friends and people in person. Quarantine feels like a a 50 lb blanket that just sits on you all the time, inside or outside my apartment. The first few months that meme of "bring it on, us introverts have trained for this our whole lives" fit perfectly but at this point even introverts want to see people. I realized I'm starting to loathe and fear my bedroom, mostly due to not properly dealing with the day's woe's before going to bed. That negative energy (of many flavors) piles up and now I just hate this loving room. But, I'm so happy I noticed it because now I will take measures to make this space beautiful and loving again, so that I can love myself and love others again.
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Jul 5, 2020 01:20
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I'm still cool with not socialising. But the economic anxiety is driving me crazy, especially since I have apparently moved to the one part of Australia that can't control the virus. My under-construction apartment mortgage was somewhat miraculously finalised during the pandemic but then we were offered a larger same level storage unit so I basically have to reapply. It would be an extra big kick in the nuts if everything fell apart now, considering it was secured before the second wave hit. Most of my co-workers live in the northern suburbs of Melbourne where the virus is spreading rapidly.
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Jul 5, 2020 03:52
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I hit a real low ebb with the lack of socialising around a month ago, but I was fortunate to start therapy over Zoom around the same time and thank gently caress for that hour a week. It's the first therapy I've had that wasn't CBT or something equally focused on "solving the problem" and it's weird having a session where I can just talk about whatever but also not dreading the session because there was homework and I put it off until the last minute
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Jul 5, 2020 04:21
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Hey guys, did you know atypical antipsychotics can cause really bad anxiety if your body processes them badly? gently caress sometimes meds are frustrating.
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Jul 5, 2020 04:32
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My body supposedly processes Latuda just fine and it still made me flip the gently caress out with anxiety and panic on a 40mg dose. Meds are so drat tough. Sorry to hear, friend 💞
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Jul 5, 2020 07:22
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Chokes McGee posted:Hey guys, did you know atypical antipsychotics can cause really bad anxiety if your body processes them badly? Haha yes, I was prescribed quetiapine (Seroquel) for insomnia and that's precisely what that did to me. Plus burning hot pins and needles from my hands halfway up my arms.
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Jul 5, 2020 14:17
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Speaking of how frustrating meds are and if your body processes them, apparently my metabolism interacts at some level with pretty much every common antidepressant available, including ones that are usually prescribed for anxiety disorders. Years ago, I was on Citalopram and it basically didn't do anything for me except make me feel like poo poo, and now I know why.
novaSphere has issued a correction as of 02:19 on Jul 6, 2020 |
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Jul 6, 2020 02:11
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Melbourne's second wave is now officially worse than the first wave and my wife and I both have a dry cough. FML.
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Jul 6, 2020 02:24
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novaSphere posted:Speaking of how frustrating meds are and if your body processes them, apparently my metabolism interacts at some level with pretty much every common antidepressant available, including ones that are usually prescribed for anxiety disorders. Years ago, I was on Citalopram and it basically didn't do anything for me except make me feel like poo poo, and now I know why. holy loving lmao just put a big label on you that says NOT FOR USE WITH SSRIs UnfortunateSexFart posted:Melbourne's second wave is now officially worse than the first wave and my wife and I both have a dry cough. FML. I mean anything's possible but maybe you're both okay? We had someone in group we thought had the roni and it just turned out to be a minor cold, her tests all came back negative
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Jul 6, 2020 03:28
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Chokes McGee posted:
We both seem to have physical reactions to increased stress and I have asthma so it may be that. Of course we changed our condo contract after they offered a larger, same level storage unit so now we have to re-qualify for our mortgage. Which means I have to stay employed, and several of my 14 co-workers live in the hot zone in the northern suburbs. It looked like the virus was over in Australia.  They've closed the state border to Sydney/Canberra now. That was the one border that was open. Edit: lol the developer lawyer just charged us $1,375 to change the storage unit in the contract from b05 to 6s1. Quite a racket. UnfortunateSexFart has issued a correction as of 11:38 on Jul 6, 2020 |
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Jul 6, 2020 04:09
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how the gently caress do you get mental health as an impoverished, non insured person. loving alabama lol. i'm doing okay right now but im worried my wife is getting worse
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Jul 6, 2020 17:25
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:how the gently caress do you get mental health as an impoverished, non insured person. loving alabama lol. i'm doing okay right now but im worried my wife is getting worse you're lookin at it but for real look at the OP and look into sliding scale stuff in your area. that is at least the place to start, and also looking at that psychologytoday link and looking around your specific area. I haven't had any luck since I have a highly variable income and don't know how to explain it to people who want money from me and want to know how little i have but it seems to work for other people, haha
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Jul 6, 2020 17:33
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Just checked in on this thread because I started crying uncontrollably for several hours and that's something I haven't done in many years. Reading just a few pages I'm really humbled at seeing how much worse some people have things and I don't feel like I have any right to feel bad. FWIW I'm crying for you, I'm crying for my species, my planet and all of our good intentions that have wound us up electing fascists and only caring about money even as our own people are dying. My wife has been trying to talk me out of bumping myself off and so forth and I probably don't have the nerve to do it anyway, for her sake even though I'm nothing but a liability to her at this point. I feel like I've had a good run but my all friends and family have given up on me years ago and let me tell you folks, I'm not real chipper this morning. I'm a bad person in a nation of bad people.
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Jul 6, 2020 19:08
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