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It's simple. Everyone in this thread will have their fortunes read by myself (or other goon psychics that come by) in graphic detail. Just comment what part of your life you want to learn about and maybe the spirits will have something interesting to tell you. I hope you ate your lucky charms this morning.
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Jul 12, 2020 07:49
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ForbiddenSock posted:It's simple. Everyone in this thread will have their fortunes read by myself (or other goon psychics that come by) in graphic detail. Just comment what part of your life you want to learn about and maybe the spirits will have something interesting to tell you. I hope you ate your lucky charms this morning. I want to know about my horrible death.
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Jul 12, 2020 07:53
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will I ever get a septic tank
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Jul 12, 2020 07:59
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What should I have for lunch tomorrow
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Jul 12, 2020 08:27
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BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:will I ever get a septic tank Your tank will remain healthy and infection free.
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Jul 12, 2020 08:34
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I need a hard verdict on my sexual preference.
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Jul 12, 2020 08:37
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Weka posted:Your tank will remain healthy and infection free. thank you wise Weka, I will sleep easy tonight with this weight off my shoulders.
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Jul 12, 2020 09:04
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I want to know about my horrible death. The spirits have spoken. You will dive into a large vat of chocolate pudding. Unfortunately, you did so on the shallow end. The results were sad, but in good taste.
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Jul 12, 2020 09:15
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Serious Party Gods posted:I need a hard verdict on my sexual preference. The spirits have spoken. Your sexual preferences are now to be determined by the first person that adds you on LinkedIn within the next 72 hours. Be wary if you smell anything resembling citrus. Your lucky numbers are 4 and 7. Your sign this month is Yield so watch out for traffic.
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Jul 12, 2020 09:17
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Devils Affricate posted:What should I have for lunch tomorrow The spirits are whispering to me. Tomorrow for lunch you will have a disappointing wrap due to a lack of access to proper burrito distributors. You will however receive free chips and a little extra soda in your cup. Be wary of anyone with straight hair who smells like strawberry vape. Your lucky sign is yellow: prepare to slow down.
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Jul 12, 2020 09:20
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BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:thank you wise Weka, I will sleep easy tonight with this weight off my shoulders. The spirits are screaming at me. Be sure to rub some chili powder on your shoulders before bed tonight or else that weight will follow you everywhere. The chili powder is incredibly spicy and the spirit chewing on your shoulder should be deterred from further bad behavior unless you picked it up from a chili manufacturing facility, then you will need a specialist.
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Jul 12, 2020 09:23
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ForbiddenSock posted:Be wary of anyone with straight hair who smells like strawberry vape. Ooooooooookay I know exactly who this is, had a feeling that fucker was planning something Thanks for the heads up OP, looking forward to that extra sip of soda 
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Jul 12, 2020 09:24
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I’d like to know about whether my general health will improve or whether I will die in eighty years with an impressive collection of minor ailments or what
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Jul 12, 2020 09:24
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ForbiddenSock posted:The spirits are screaming at me. Be sure to rub some chili powder on your shoulders before bed tonight or else that weight will follow you everywhere. The chili powder is incredibly spicy and the spirit chewing on your shoulder should be deterred from further bad behavior unless you picked it up from a chili manufacturing facility, then you will need a specialist. lalala already asleep here snoring pretty loud cant hear you
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Jul 12, 2020 09:28
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Will massive amounts of people purchase my soundcloud rap album and if so, why?
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Jul 12, 2020 09:37
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ForbiddenSock posted:The spirits are whispering to me. Tomorrow for lunch you will have a disappointing wrap due to a lack of access to proper burrito distributors. You will however receive free chips and a little extra soda in your cup. Be wary of anyone with straight hair who smells like strawberry vape. Your lucky sign is yellow: prepare to slow down. You need to put chilli in your ears. You can just jam a whole chili in there but I recommend a thin chilli sauce.
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Jul 12, 2020 09:40
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Shithouse Dave posted:I’d like to know about whether my general health will improve or whether I will die in eighty years with an impressive collection of minor ailments or what The spirits are compelling me to pass this message along: if you refuse to stop having sex with attractive people and living a fun and fulfilling life, then you will probably die at 79 surrounded by family and friends in relative comfort. You're lucky sign is green: Go.
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Jul 12, 2020 09:54
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I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like?
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Jul 12, 2020 09:57
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Bronze Fonz posted:Will massive amounts of people purchase my soundcloud rap album and if so, why? The spirits are spitting bars at me and they are more interested in you accessing their soundclouds and giving them a chance. I am not sure what they have to gain from it but if you have bluetooth headphones they should interface with a Ouija board if you rub some iron on it. Your lucky sign is red: Its time to stop.
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Jul 12, 2020 10:03
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Genesplicer posted:I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like? *Draws tarot card* Ah, the 4 of coins. Hmm yes. How secure is you're retirement plan?
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Jul 12, 2020 10:03
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Genesplicer posted:I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like? The spirits are a screaming at me. They say to keep fighting for your right to be safe while doing your job even if you need to resist idiots that force you to cram 40 kids into a classroom before a vaccine is properly rolled out. On the lighter side of things sneezing on your enemies may reap great fortune. Be ware of WASPs. Your lucky sign is the children crossing sign: do not exceed 25 mph in a school zone.
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Jul 12, 2020 10:07
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Genesplicer posted:I'm a middle school teacher. In light of Coronavirus, what does the 2020/2021 school year look like? Now's the time to start recycling the students into nutritional paste.
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Jul 12, 2020 12:13
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ForbiddenSock posted:The spirits are spitting bars at me and they are more interested in you accessing their soundclouds and giving them a chance. I am not sure what they have to gain from it but if you have bluetooth headphones they should interface with a Ouija board if you rub some iron on it. Your lucky sign is red: Its time to stop. Oh good, that'll save me the cost of a mic and the phat beats I would've used. Thank you Jesus! 
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Jul 12, 2020 12:15
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What's going on with my right buttcheek
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Jul 12, 2020 12:21
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Fonz, What are you troubled about anyway? Bronze is highly resistant to corrosion (and keeps a beautiful patina).
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Jul 12, 2020 12:21
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How I will make money when unemployment runs out
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Jul 12, 2020 13:51
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Will I ever find ~true love~
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Jul 12, 2020 13:58
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Is Helen Hunt dead? I know her body yet walks the earth but has her spirit crossed over to the Other Side?
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Jul 12, 2020 14:22
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Is Helen Hunt dead? I know her body yet walks the earth but has her spirit crossed over to the Other Side? Spinz posted:How I will make money when unemployment runs out Ron Darling posted:Will I ever find ~true love~
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Jul 12, 2020 14:48
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Ron Darling posted:Will I ever find ~true love~ That's not a good question to ask. I can throw it out there but I can promise you all we'll just get is a bunch of horny spirits yelling 'Yeah, baby, I'm right here! Summon me!' Most fortune tellers will lie to you about this, but that's what really happens. Before you get any bright ideas, every single one of those spirits is a scammer. They don't value you for you, they only want what you can give them (your warmth and your breath and your heartbeat).
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Jul 12, 2020 14:52
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By popular demand posted:I highly recommend that you don't continue this line of questioning friend. I have to know!
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Jul 12, 2020 15:02
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No, no you don't. You have your whole life ahead of you and I'm not going to help you throw it away.
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Jul 12, 2020 15:07
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I ordered some new hot sauces after being inspired by the 'Hot Sauce' thread of late; will I enjoy them?
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Jul 12, 2020 15:35
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Only as condiments, Your attempt to "spice up" your sex life will end poorly.
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Jul 12, 2020 15:44
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What is my spirit animal?
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Jul 12, 2020 16:03
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Good fortune telling is like the female orgasm. It's definitely real, but OP has never seen one.
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Jul 12, 2020 16:06
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Waffle! posted:What is my spirit animal? The majestic Falafel.
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Jul 12, 2020 16:09
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Big Beef City posted:I ordered some new hot sauces after being inspired by the 'Hot Sauce' thread of late; will I enjoy them? 
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Jul 12, 2020 17:18
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Tell me what’s going to happen with my career Thanks in advance
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Jul 12, 2020 17:19
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Dear Watson posted:Tell me what’s going to happen with my career Bittersweet news I'm afraid: while your position at the dicksucking factory is safe and will outlast the coming recession that promotion is going to Gerald.
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Jul 12, 2020 17:34
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