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We all hope it will never happen, but you know it just might. You get out of your car to stretch your legs a little or something, maybe you chase a really colorful butterfly and then BAM! You're lost in the wilderness and have to survive on your own for a while until help can arrive. Here are some tips that may just save your life. -Try to make sure that you have a decent amount of money in small bills. This way, if you find a vending machine you can easily buy items from it without trying to find someone who can break a twenty. -Try to get lost near a water source such as a water fountain, or possibly a garden hose. -If you sleep a lot the time will go by faster so that you'll be rescued sooner! |
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Jul 14, 2020 15:52
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 08:03 |
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dried out kit kat bars make great kindling
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Jul 14, 2020 15:53
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If you run into a bear try to befriend them by doing the Superbowl Shuffle. Try not to enrage them by teasing them about not having made it to the superbowl in almost 35 years.
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Jul 14, 2020 15:54
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your compass can be disassembled and made into a bey blade for ur amusement
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Jul 14, 2020 15:54
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a map makes for a great wilderness snack if u can stop being so stuck up about eating paper
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Jul 14, 2020 15:55
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the survival guys on tv always drink their pee but irl it actually tastes terrible |
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Jul 14, 2020 15:56
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Remember to keep a close eye out for poisonous snakes, plants, and insects You’re gonna need some playful friends to keep you company until you’re rescued!
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Jul 14, 2020 15:56
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Consider befriending some beavers so that they can help you build cabins you can rent out to tourists until you've saved up enough money to be rescued.
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Jul 14, 2020 15:58
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Don’t be shy about peeing in the woods! Even if you can see other people, they can’t see you when you are peeing in the woods.
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Jul 14, 2020 16:02
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if you take a baby bear hostage you can use it as leverage to force a bear to show you the way out of the forest |
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Jul 14, 2020 16:13
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always keep a backup gaming PC in your car so you have something to do at camp
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Jul 14, 2020 16:19
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only eat the moss found on the southwestern edge of a tree's eastmost bark never eat the moss found on the northeastern edge of a tree's westmost bark for it is pure poison
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Jul 14, 2020 16:36
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Use the skills you learned in Skyrim to help you survive: - Explore every cave for loot - If you encounter a cliff you can't climb, try doing back and forth jumps - Practice your dragon shouts without fear of judgement
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Jul 14, 2020 16:38
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prepuce repurposed posted:your compass can be disassembled and made into a bey blade for ur amusement if you cut your canteen in half, you can build a sweet arena
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Jul 14, 2020 16:40
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unless you survived completely naked you didn't really "survive". people are often mocked and their lives ruined for still wearing clothes when they are rescued from the wilderness so it's best to discard all clothing the moment you realize you are lost. |
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Jul 14, 2020 16:55
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Jul 14, 2020 17:00
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one of the best ways to survive is to keep a positive outlook. an easy way to stay positive is make survival into a game: -how many different types of mushrooms and berries can you find and eat? -how many different types of leaves can you find and rub on your genitals? -how do your stealth skills rate when trying to sneak up on and surprise large apex predators? |
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Jul 14, 2020 17:06
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If u crouch moose cant hear ur footsteps
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Jul 14, 2020 17:19
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If you eat a poisonous mushroom don't worry! Just find and eat a non-poisonous mushroom. Eating both will cancel out the effects of the poison.
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Jul 14, 2020 17:30
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there's enough neodymium in ur smartphone for a small set of dope rear end magnets. use your newfound free time to master magnet magic. it might even help u impress a potential mate!
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Jul 14, 2020 17:31
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if u had the foresight to bring an emergency flare, use it to shoot a wild boar. u only get one shot so make it count! in many cases this will cook the boar alive, so when it stops moving it's bbq time  feast as u laugh at all the fools settling for processed pork back in civilization. u earned it
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Jul 14, 2020 18:05
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Be on the lookout for woods porn. It can help you make friends and help you feel less lonely! Plus it can act as a tent for your head. |
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Jul 14, 2020 18:15
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prepuce repurposed posted:if u had the foresight to bring an emergency flare, use it to shoot a wild boar. u only get one shot so make it count! in many cases this will cook the boar alive, so when it stops moving it's bbq time
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Jul 14, 2020 18:24
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vanisher posted:Use the skills you learned in Skyrim to help you survive: Climb any fence you find if there are horses on the other side. Crouch-walk, it's comfortable to do! Steal a horse, and do back and forth jumps up cliffs. |
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Jul 14, 2020 19:10
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If you find yourself in an Arctic or Antarctic sort of terrain, roll yourself a bunch of snowballs. Wolves and polar bears hate when things are thrown at them. If you have any left over, build a fort or maybe a bridge out of them. |
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Jul 14, 2020 19:34
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about one in every five hundred frogs will grant wishes after being licked the important thing is to not give up until you've found one
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Jul 14, 2020 19:50
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Fight a raccoon for good luck |
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Jul 14, 2020 19:53
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need fire? be like this lil guy 
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Jul 14, 2020 19:55
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Fight a possum for good luck FTFY |
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Jul 14, 2020 19:55
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"feed a raccoon, fight a possum" - traditional wildnerness survival saying |
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Jul 14, 2020 19:57
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 it's spelled opossum. Just a little wilderness tip for you.
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Jul 14, 2020 20:07
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instead of walking or running, just jump everywhere at a ridiculous pace also constantly swat at the invisible things you just know are chasing you
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Jul 14, 2020 20:45
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climb trees |
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Jul 14, 2020 20:48
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O possum where it's thy sting? O marsupial where is thy victory? |
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Jul 14, 2020 20:49
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don't fall out of trees |
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Jul 14, 2020 20:50
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live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign urself to the influence of the earth. let not ur fields go fallow but rather sew them with marihuana seeds each spring. a man's labors should result always in dankness. seek not the civilization you've left behind, but instead the solitude before u. look not skyward to find the heavens, for they lie beneath ur very feet
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Jul 14, 2020 21:05
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prepuce repurposed posted:live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign urself to the influence of the earth. 
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Jul 14, 2020 21:11
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:O possum where it's thy sting? O marsupial where is thy victory? prepuce repurposed posted:live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign urself to the influence of the earth.
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Jul 14, 2020 21:15
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in the wilderness, you can drink your own piss without being teased
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Jul 14, 2020 21:17
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 08:03 |
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if someone tries to tease you say "i'm dying" and then drink your own piss
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Jul 14, 2020 21:17
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